Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, it's me Matt Rogers, letting you know. Tickets
Speaker 1: are on sale now to see me on tour, the
Speaker 1: Friends of Christmas Tour, that is, I'm doing my whole
Speaker 1: album have you Heard of Christmas? Plus a lot more
Speaker 1: with the whole band all throughout the December. Go to
Speaker 1: www dot Matt Rodgers Official dot com.
Speaker 2: See me in a city near you and now Lost
Speaker 2: Cult drums look mare, oh, I see you, my ow
Speaker 2: and look over there is that culture. Yes, goodness, Lost culture.
Speaker 1: Ding dong, Lost Cultureisa's calling tactile as ever I think, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I will say, Matt, kind of webbed hand, feeling very
Speaker 1: connected to you today and as of late, I'll always
Speaker 1: but like I'll always, sisterhood is really.
Speaker 3: Sisterhood is real. I mean, let's just set the tone.
Speaker 3: Matt just got off a red eye. I'm kind of
Speaker 3: running on paltry sleep and not that this was like
Speaker 3: labored for us, but like it's our guests.
Speaker 1: We have to show up when family that comes through,
Speaker 1: You show up for family, And I believe that's the
Speaker 1: Olive Garden slogan for family. When family comes through, When
Speaker 1: family comes down through rural culture Number twenty seven, When
Speaker 1: family comes through you do you show up for family?
Speaker 3: I think, because that is so true, and let's just
Speaker 3: get right into it, because our guest is someone who
Speaker 3: figures very, very heavily into the lore.
Speaker 1: We talked about this last time she was on.
Speaker 3: I mentioned this in whatever, the most recent big, long
Speaker 3: extended interview where it was Michael Schulman legend, and he
Speaker 3: was just talking about like this time in my life
Speaker 3: and I was like, I think I want to get
Speaker 3: bad school, but I don't. For The New Yorker for
Speaker 3: the New Yorker and I was like, Rachel Bloom took
Speaker 3: me out to a gastro pub outside of USC and
Speaker 3: told me, maybe you shouldn't do that. Yeah, you should
Speaker 3: actually do comedy.
Speaker 1: Because it's what you love. Maybe become the star you've
Speaker 1: always meant to be. And that's what she said that day.
Speaker 1: She looked at you, Alis and said you were meant
Speaker 1: to become the star. Was this before or after we
Speaker 1: had our iconic piano? This was before.
Speaker 3: This was while we were still in school, because we
Speaker 3: went to USC for fracket for the Fracus Improv Festival.
Speaker 3: And this was the because Rachel kind of planted the
Speaker 3: seed crystal or you know whatever, the that's not an expression, but.
Speaker 1: Can I say I'm strung an expression? I'm starting to
Speaker 1: hate whoa, here we go. This person is mother. It's
Speaker 1: so dumb. Well, we're like in that moment like it
Speaker 1: was true. And also it's become true for her in
Speaker 1: real life. It's become true for her. In real life.
Speaker 3: She is and her little daughter is writing song parodies
Speaker 3: apple don't fall far from the tree that she has.
Speaker 3: There's a song called Spooky Scary Skeletons and now beak
Speaker 3: on that. Now this little girl literally little girl, little
Speaker 3: girl wrote a little girl wrote a song.
Speaker 1: Parody called Poopy Little Skeletons daughter as her father's daughter.
Speaker 3: Dan Gregor, don't forget the legend. I mean, what is
Speaker 3: there to say about our guest?
Speaker 1: She is true?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, were you at Choteen Sunday on Fire
Speaker 3: in the Pines this summer when they were playing.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, yes, seed generalize abon Man constantly gets
Speaker 4: play everyone off book on Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, do you know that? No, this is really I mean,
Speaker 1: that's it's a huge honor, and honestly, you know what
Speaker 1: else was great about it. I'm sitting there watching it
Speaker 1: and not for one second that I think, like there,
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, that's just an iconic video that should
Speaker 1: be up there. I was like, that's and then like
Speaker 1: later I was like, that's Rachel. That's Rachel.
Speaker 3: This is that's an Emmy Golden Globe winning Star of
Speaker 3: Our Hearts, an American treasure.
Speaker 1: The best award, though, is the TCA Individual Achievement in Comedy,
Speaker 1: And I know that. You know that's a really hard
Speaker 1: one to get.
Speaker 5: Gender.
Speaker 1: They only give it to one person. It's ungender, they
Speaker 1: only give it to one person.
Speaker 3: She has a fantastic special coming on of Netflix. Yes,
Speaker 3: that's let me do my special October fifteenth.
Speaker 1: Please watch, everyone, please welcome Rachel Bom in shades.
Speaker 6: Okay, so I'm wearing sunglasses because I forgot there was
Speaker 6: an on camera port because no, no, But so anyway,
Speaker 6: I am wearing very little makeup. At some point I'll
Speaker 6: take the shades off. But I went, well, I want
Speaker 6: people to be impressed, right, because you've had all these famous, fancy,
Speaker 6: like like done up, glammed people on. I just wanted
Speaker 6: to look like I just stepped out of a convertible
Speaker 6: and took a scarf off.
Speaker 1: Of my head. You know what's crazy is you were
Speaker 1: coming up the stairs, and I was like, and I
Speaker 1: had my breath taken away.
Speaker 6: Yeah, ever makes me very, That makes me very. We
Speaker 6: have so much to get into because, as you recall,
Speaker 6: we recorded it so last time I was on those cultures,
Speaker 6: it was seven and a half years ago in the
Speaker 6: apartment of it.
Speaker 1: It was a sound engineer's apartment on Atlantic Avenue, another era.
Speaker 1: Sure was.
Speaker 6: I got in there. I was hungry. I made him
Speaker 6: feed me. Yes, oh my god, And which is why
Speaker 6: I brought my Starbucks egg bites this time, so I
Speaker 6: wouldn't so I wouldn't make anyone feed me. But I'm
Speaker 6: laughing because you just talked about the Tcaward, and that's
Speaker 6: exactly what you talked about seven and a half years ago.
Speaker 6: You went, so, I the time, I hadn't had the
Speaker 6: Emmy yet, but you were like, You're like, she's golden Globe,
Speaker 6: and you're like, a the TCA Award, which is actually
Speaker 6: my favorite. And you you do like five to ten
Speaker 6: minutes on why the TCA is the best award in
Speaker 6: the same almost exact wording of now, and you're still correct.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I know that's probably the one you look
Speaker 1: at on the shelf of awards and think.
Speaker 6: Actually just I was cleaning my shelf and it just
Speaker 6: dropped and it's made of pure glass. It didn't break,
Speaker 6: thank god. But I was like, I need to move
Speaker 6: this award. This is going to be a problem.
Speaker 1: Closer to the floor.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So Rachel comes in and goes, I have notes
Speaker 3: based on the last time, notes on the last time
Speaker 3: I was here on the show, and I am gripped
Speaker 3: with fear.
Speaker 6: No, no, no, it's all great, it's all wonderful. Well wait,
Speaker 6: first of all, though, wait, sorry, I have a lot. Yeah,
Speaker 6: turn you out, my daughter. I feel like you'll appreciate this. Please,
Speaker 6: I'll show you the video. But I feel like I
Speaker 6: should put in the mic.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So our nanny, who's a Drag Race fan while I've
Speaker 6: been gone, is training my daughter on what's going to
Speaker 6: be her workroom entrance.
Speaker 1: We have to know it takes train, take rain.
Speaker 6: I got sent this video.
Speaker 1: Wait, do it in the Okay, I can't here drink
Speaker 1: and it's failty and already, thank you.
Speaker 3: I came here to drink juice and spilty, but already, honey,
Speaker 3: that's winter.
Speaker 1: Drink and Spilty is the title of.
Speaker 6: Unbelievable. Was she coached, well, yeah, well nanny nanny.
Speaker 1: She definitely she doesn't know what she's coach.
Speaker 6: She's very clearly off. I'll show you after this, like
Speaker 6: she they very clearly off care of someone's being.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, well she do have nerve, it's but she
Speaker 1: doesn't want drag Race yet your daughter.
Speaker 6: When I was breastfeeding, I watched NonStop drag Race.
Speaker 3: Talk about this idea because I really really think that
Speaker 3: if I were to have a child, I would be
Speaker 3: totally in on this. Like you wanted space Jam to
Speaker 3: be the first thing that she listened to as she
Speaker 3: entered this planet. Do you feel like osmodically this is
Speaker 3: the idea, Like you want to just like download into
Speaker 3: her all these different things.
Speaker 6: I think that they hear stuff in the womb. M
Speaker 6: there's evidence that babies, you know, they spend nine and
Speaker 6: a half ten months hearing this, especially the vibrations of
Speaker 6: their mother's voice, like just know whoever they're around, and
Speaker 6: so it does they kind of come out knowing the
Speaker 6: voices familiar to them.
Speaker 1: Yes, but it's not like you're not doing that.
Speaker 3: And maybe you are, but is it like the it's
Speaker 3: the Mozart thing it's like, oh, play classical music.
Speaker 6: There was definitely was a little bit of as I
Speaker 6: was breastfeeding her watching nonsuft drag race. Also, it was lockdown,
Speaker 6: so I had nothing else going on, and I was
Speaker 6: a little sad because it was a very intense time.
Speaker 1: So I watched.
Speaker 6: I binged all of the drag races that I hadn't
Speaker 6: watched before.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of them.
Speaker 6: I've tried to rewatch it with her, anything that isn't cartoon.
Speaker 6: She gets bored by.
Speaker 1: What she Coco melon.
Speaker 6: I we're a Coco melon free household. I won't let
Speaker 6: her know.
Speaker 1: And was it a part of the life at one point?
Speaker 6: And then you know this, I just heard you have
Speaker 6: to stop the Coco melan. So she gets to watch
Speaker 6: that when she's at my writing partner Lene, she gets
Speaker 6: to watch Coco Melon and she's at Auntie Ellen's. But
Speaker 6: in our house, we have a zero Coco mel intolerance.
Speaker 6: I mean, her favorite show right now is Gabby's Dollhouse.
Speaker 3: Gabby's all House is a huge head. You know the girl,
Speaker 3: the girl's my niece is loved.
Speaker 1: Ok okay, who's Gabby? What's her deal?
Speaker 6: So Gabby's a girl it kind of is Gabby's a girl,
Speaker 6: but really she's probably eighteen by now. The woman who
Speaker 6: plays her, she's a girl who sits along in her
Speaker 6: bedroom and has a cat named Floyd. And there's a
Speaker 6: big dollhouse. Again like this is an almost grown woman,
Speaker 6: but she has a dollhouse. And and every episode like
Speaker 6: she'll be like it's Floyd's birthday or so every episode
Speaker 6: there's there's like a ramp in her room where a
Speaker 6: gift comes down.
Speaker 1: On Sorry sorry, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. There's the
Speaker 1: gifts come out of the ram.
Speaker 6: So there's a little ramp, the gifts come down on wheels,
Speaker 6: and then she goes, it's a doll surprise. And then
Speaker 6: so it's like also an unboxing video because then she
Speaker 6: opens it and it's a little teeny thing. She goes,
Speaker 6: oh my gosh, this must it's a backpack. We're going
Speaker 6: camping in the dollhouse. And then she goes, it's time
Speaker 6: to get tiny, and then she grabs uh stuffed animal.
Speaker 6: She goes, pinch on my left, pinch, pinch am I right,
Speaker 6: Grab Pandy's hand and hold on tight, and then she
Speaker 6: shrinks down into the dollhouse and suddenly it's an animated.
Speaker 1: So it's supernatural.
Speaker 6: I met the show Supernatural that was on the sea deck.
Speaker 1: No, I never mean that. I almost never mean that supernatural.
Speaker 6: There's this amazing Reddit group called what my SERI.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, do you have a male Siri? That's the
Speaker 1: default now, which let's talk about that later. But keep
Speaker 1: going interesting. I'm sorry, we are gonna gender Siri. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a woman.
Speaker 4: Okay, keep going, wows you believe series warm And I'm
Speaker 4: not saying like in terms of like a dynamic observices.
Speaker 6: Ransomly is a woman, has a vagina's gay men tubes.
Speaker 6: I can get her pregnant with my com Right.
Speaker 1: Now, they're trying to put men in rolls of servitude.
Speaker 1: I don't want to fuck man Siri.
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna ask man Siri how to get me
Speaker 6: to Panera series a woman.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, wait me to my bread woman. Point
Speaker 5: me in the direction of my bread You faceless woman?
Speaker 5: You sis woman? Yeah, faceless cis vagina having woman.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, so Gabby, So Gabby, it's like supernatural.
Speaker 6: You you got if someone's if there's a group song,
Speaker 6: I'm like, okay, you can watch pitch.
Speaker 1: Although I did that TikTok thing, the dough. It doesn't
Speaker 1: make sense because you have to go off key you
Speaker 1: it's weird. And also, so this is another thing. I
Speaker 1: saw this gay guy do it and he was like
Speaker 1: dough and it was he was like dough and he goes, oh,
Speaker 1: do I have to and he goes dough and then yeah.
Speaker 1: So so it's an octave specific thing.
Speaker 6: So then that's that's why it gives me a minute
Speaker 6: to even get dough. But also I think you have
Speaker 6: to be on a specific pitch for their dough.
Speaker 1: It wants men to sound like men and women to
Speaker 1: sound like women, like Siri like Siri.
Speaker 3: That's the true We're not coming back from the siribout believe.
Speaker 1: I insisted that no, because I honestly that that's going.
Speaker 6: To be number one article on Deadline tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Change do better, Do better? Apple? Sis a woman, and
Speaker 1: you took a job away from a woman, And isn't
Speaker 1: it hard enough? Isn't it hard enough in this town?
Speaker 1: Which town?
Speaker 6: I don't know why they would change theory from woman
Speaker 6: to a man, because that means you have to now
Speaker 6: pay Siri more?
Speaker 1: Right, Wait, speaking of women, Gabby, So she goes in the.
Speaker 6: Dollhouse, she goes on adventures and then she shrinks back up.
Speaker 6: There's a great reddit subreddit called Daniel Tiger Conspiracy, which
Speaker 6: is a bunch of parents. I don't know if you've
Speaker 6: heard of it. Does going crazy come up with conspiracy
Speaker 6: theories about the children shows that they are forced to watch.
Speaker 6: And it's named after Daniel Tiger's neighborhood. The conspiracy theory
Speaker 6: about one of the theories about Daniel Tiger's neighborhood is
Speaker 6: that it's a communist monarchy huh, and that somehow they're
Speaker 6: all communists, but they're forcing the monarchy at gunpoint to
Speaker 6: remain in their stations. But they're also making the monarchy
Speaker 6: work side by side, like the like the prince in
Speaker 6: Daniel Tiger is a waiter at the restaurant and also
Speaker 6: baby sits, and it's like, but he's a prince.
Speaker 1: Right, I wish my brain worked like.
Speaker 6: It's also a bunch of spears.
Speaker 1: You haven't slept.
Speaker 6: Yeah, But that theory about Gabby's dollhouse, I want to
Speaker 6: say that my husband, he and Gregor and I were
Speaker 6: talking about and elaborate on, is that Gabby? Because Gabby's dollhouse,
Speaker 6: I think premiered in twenty twenty. Okay, that Gabby is
Speaker 6: in a pandemic era experiment, that she's a girl on
Speaker 6: lockdown because you never meet her parents, you only see
Speaker 6: her bedroom.
Speaker 1: She has COVID, she's frozen into her she's.
Speaker 6: Frozen into or she's in some sort of isolation experiment. Yeah,
Speaker 6: and they mess with her by sending in the gifts
Speaker 6: on a little ramp. Oh, and she's slowly going insane,
Speaker 6: because that's why she's that's why she's like she shrinks
Speaker 6: down into her dollhouse. That this is all a woman
Speaker 6: hallucinating who's slowly going crazy from being isolated from society.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The cartoon is a disassociation. Yeah, because the highlight
Speaker 1: of her day is already happened. She's been given a
Speaker 1: small gift to the conveyor belt. So that's when she realizes, Oh,
Speaker 1: that's as good as it's going to get today. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and she drifts and it's been an extended four year hallucination.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Can we apply this?
Speaker 3: Are there conspiracies that we can apply to like children's
Speaker 3: shows that we grew up on. Oh I love this, Yeah,
Speaker 3: so what let's start suthing?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Of course, name like is that like a post
Speaker 1: nuclear fault.
Speaker 6: I was about toy It's it's a post it's New
Speaker 6: York City in the year three thousand.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like we're back in like a bronze age, not
Speaker 3: bronze age, but like we're post technology, post tech, technologlypse.
Speaker 6: Well, it's kind of like society started like in the
Speaker 6: end of Wally, remember how they always have to restart culture.
Speaker 6: But and this a little bit goes into the unified
Speaker 6: Pixar theory, which I don't know if you've heard I've
Speaker 6: heard of this, but anyway, so nuclear war has warped
Speaker 6: some animals to become of course.
Speaker 1: Big bars, let's speak in human tongue.
Speaker 6: But there was a section of society that knew the
Speaker 6: bomb was coming and they and they hit in a bunker.
Speaker 6: And that's why you also have regular humans.
Speaker 1: Got it? Oh God, I got it? Got it. You
Speaker 1: ever met someone in real life and you're like, I
Speaker 1: can't say who this is, but there's a person in
Speaker 1: my life who is a sasame screen adult in that
Speaker 1: like the way that the way that they interact in
Speaker 1: the world is kind of like and this is on videos,
Speaker 1: I'll just do it. They kind of walk like this whoa, Hey,
Speaker 1: do you know these people?
Speaker 6: I know someone exactly like that. I wonder if we're
Speaker 6: talking about the same No, I don't think maybe no,
Speaker 6: there's no way. There's no, I don't there's.
Speaker 1: Literally no way. But I'll say this person is a
Speaker 1: part of the gay community, and whenever I see them,
Speaker 1: I'm like, why isn't there a furry friend next to
Speaker 1: you speaking and wanting to know about like how babies
Speaker 1: are made, or like wanting to count A through Z.
Speaker 6: Some people just have it, and I still know it's straight,
Speaker 6: So it's definitely there's two different people or in the
Speaker 6: closet with you.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. Any straight person you know could be
Speaker 1: in the closet, and that's actually real culture number fifty.
Speaker 1: Any straight person you.
Speaker 6: Know could Oh, I thought it was specific to me
Speaker 6: or just anyone, anyone, anyone.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I think that people probably would
Speaker 1: feel so comfortable being gay around you because you're such
Speaker 1: an ally.
Speaker 6: I've had numerous people come out come out like I'm
Speaker 6: the first or second person.
Speaker 1: I feel like that is a badge of honor. Do
Speaker 1: you wear it as well?
Speaker 6: I love it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I don't make a where's your badge because
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 6: I don't make a big deal. I go, that's great, Yeah,
Speaker 6: it's great.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: What if I just was topless, don't get the sunglasses.
Speaker 1: It would be good. It would be ally behavior, it
Speaker 1: would be it would wait. There's nothing wrong with being
Speaker 1: a Sesame Street There's no like, no, no. I love it.
Speaker 1: I in fact, I sort of identify with it a
Speaker 1: little bit. There's moments in my life where I know
Speaker 1: I'm on one, like when I'm having like a like
Speaker 1: an anxiety response to do more where I'm like, you're
Speaker 1: being sesamestrat adult right now, you're being.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Oh I have that too, where it's the show
Speaker 6: pony part of me that wants to perform and impress
Speaker 6: and cover.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, But I have another layer to add on to
Speaker 3: this conspiracy about Testame Street, which is please there are
Speaker 3: weapons grade like hallucinogens involved. But I guess any children's
Speaker 3: show is a hallucination.
Speaker 6: That's the thing is you can kind of any children's
Speaker 6: show that goes into another medium like cartoon, yeah, or claymation.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, you're on acid.
Speaker 3: Sesame Street has like this psychedelic quality to it though,
Speaker 3: where it's like it's variety. It's like you go in
Speaker 3: there's interstitial stuff and you go into the different little
Speaker 3: movements throughout the episode, and that is kind of more special.
Speaker 1: Wait, can I ask a question about Snuffalopagus. Can I
Speaker 1: get like to the bottom of something? Oh? Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: one can see him except Big Bird. What is it? Yes?
Speaker 6: So they changed this though, okay, in the mid nineties,
Speaker 6: So Snuffleopagus is real and Big Bird was like, Snuffy's
Speaker 6: over there. But it's the type of gag where Snuffalopagus
Speaker 6: would disappear just when someone else came in. So everyone
Speaker 6: thought it was Big Bird's imaginary friend, but it wasn't.
Speaker 6: Now I want to say it's in the early mid nineties,
Speaker 6: they realized this could be really bad messaging for children
Speaker 6: who were being sexually abused. Whoa, because the child would
Speaker 6: say this is happening to me, And then they'd watch
Speaker 6: Sesame Street and people would be like, oh, big Bird,
Speaker 6: there's no snuffle Upagus. We can't see him. So there's
Speaker 6: an episode of Sesame Street where everyone sees snuffle Upagus
Speaker 6: and they go, Big Bird, I'm so sorry. Wow, Snuffleopagus
Speaker 6: has been here the whole time. I apologize to you.
Speaker 6: Big Bird.
Speaker 1: That was the episode where they broke down what gaslighting meant.
Speaker 1: This is a very special episode. I'm gaslighting period. I
Speaker 1: loved you pointing out that it's your favorite word. It
Speaker 1: has become America's favorite word.
Speaker 6: It's everywhere.
Speaker 1: It's everywhere. It's the words gaslight and narcissists have taken
Speaker 1: and oh, I've.
Speaker 6: Been using those words for fifteen years and now everyone's
Speaker 6: using them and they're not wrong.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've been using them since college.
Speaker 3: I wonder what, oh god, well, can I just say
Speaker 3: the person who taught me what gaslighting was. The word
Speaker 3: was our friend Mike Spence. It's a very like comedy
Speaker 3: group word.
Speaker 1: It's a film thing too, because of the movie. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, like sense, I feel like we've known about
Speaker 1: the word.
Speaker 3: The three of us have known about the word gaslight
Speaker 3: because we had the privileged slash dishonor of.
Speaker 1: Going to n y U and being in the comedy groups.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Yes? And can I say
Speaker 1: something I want to correct? Like the record, I have
Speaker 1: love for all of those people I've loved. I've loved
Speaker 1: those people, so with the list can connect to your
Speaker 1: notes from the episode. But we talked about the wedding,
Speaker 1: the wedding that was thrown for us. Yes, and I
Speaker 1: want to say, as like shitty and annoying as that was,
Speaker 1: and like like I don't, we're not but her about
Speaker 1: it today. We're not like that was traumatic. It's just
Speaker 1: an important part of the lore of our friends.
Speaker 6: Yes, I do also want to that person shortly after
Speaker 6: that episode came out did reach out to me and
Speaker 6: say that they were hurt by by my dismissive tone
Speaker 6: and especially because I wasn't there at the wedding. So
Speaker 6: I you know, I was being Caddy. It wasn't always,
Speaker 6: but I'll apologize again seven and a half years later,
Speaker 6: I was just being Caddy. I was tired, I hadn't eaten.
Speaker 1: Was an avocado toast that was made for you?
Speaker 6: Probably?
Speaker 1: I think it was. I think I remember that.
Speaker 6: No, I wouldn't have made someone chop up in avocado,
Speaker 6: certainly avocado.
Speaker 1: I think toast and maybe some butter on the toast.
Speaker 6: That sounds like me.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: What are your notes on the episode from seven half
Speaker 1: yours A lot of thoughts? Okay, So this is what
Speaker 1: was the title of the episode, the.
Speaker 6: Wedding the wet that's literally the title of the wedding
Speaker 6: with Rachel Bloom.
Speaker 1: This is an episode that I guess we did in
Speaker 1: what twenty seventeen?
Speaker 6: Is hold on, we put it up, so I'm going
Speaker 6: to be I'm still covering from a cold. This is
Speaker 6: not cocaine, no problem. It could if it was no
Speaker 6: problem something I guess. I mean, it looks like it
Speaker 6: is cocaine with my sunglass. They take off my sunglasses
Speaker 6: to prove it's not cocaine.
Speaker 1: Can I just say it's just your eyes are so beautiful?
Speaker 1: That would be Yeah. Now show your gorgeous face, show
Speaker 1: that TCA winning face to America.
Speaker 6: Now this episode is from April twelfth, twenty seventeen.
Speaker 1: Wow Jesus.
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, here's some notes. At eight twenty one, Bowen
Speaker 6: is working in an office with a floral campaign.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, so you were.
Speaker 6: I think you were graphic design.
Speaker 1: Graphic designing kings Lane e commerce.
Speaker 6: So there was a floral campaign.
Speaker 1: God, this is so this really crazy?
Speaker 6: Now you got hired you right for SNL what twenty eighteen?
Speaker 6: Less than so this is about a year after this
Speaker 6: episode happens.
Speaker 1: Yeah, within a year I was Yeah, I totally such jobs.
Speaker 6: I think so we talked about obviously me talking about
Speaker 6: of medical school. You must be even more glad now
Speaker 6: that you're you didn't go to medicals.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, absolute, Rachel, you can't go viral on
Speaker 1: medical school.
Speaker 6: I mean, I guess, I guess you can in the
Speaker 6: bad way.
Speaker 5: You can't.
Speaker 1: He could have been he could have been like a
Speaker 1: fun doctor who lip synced. Yeah, totally because that because
Speaker 1: because then you wouldn't even have to go out and
Speaker 1: get the scrubs, you wouldn't just be wearing them. And
Speaker 1: he could have done an incredible Christina Yang, like unbearable
Speaker 1: monologue from Grays and A totally, and I would have
Speaker 1: loved that, the pots and pans being banged for me,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Imagine being a medical professional who was just like, like, finally,
Speaker 1: my time, they're finally recognizing what I do.
Speaker 6: My friend did say a couple of months after co
Speaker 6: my friend is a doctor, was like, yeah, so a
Speaker 6: couple months ago we were all heroes and getting cookies
Speaker 6: and now no one cares and we're sad.
Speaker 1: Okay, continue okayfferent, I had forgotten how much you both
Speaker 1: watched Crazy.
Speaker 6: Ex girlfriend really watched it, so I want to thank.
Speaker 1: You one of the great shows.
Speaker 6: You asked me this is before season three. You said,
Speaker 6: is Robert a thing in season three? And I said,
Speaker 6: I can't say, so now I can answer, which.
Speaker 1: Is kind of yeah. Finally that's a great answer too.
Speaker 6: Because it kind of is he Yeah, Yeah, it's it's
Speaker 6: this kind of secret that comes out and it's what
Speaker 6: causes josh Chan to turn on her and.
Speaker 1: That show was soy and we we'll talk about this
Speaker 1: special here.
Speaker 6: I'll go back there's something that relates to special, but
Speaker 6: I'll go back to it. Throughout our conversation, I keep
Speaker 6: going hilarious instead of.
Speaker 1: Laughing, that's that's a very comedian thing. You don't mean,
Speaker 1: that's not something I do.
Speaker 6: I got it. You all laugh a lean brosh McKenna
Speaker 6: does that, and I was around her so much. She goes, huh, hilarious.
Speaker 1: Instead of laughing hilarious, that's halfway to a laugh. I've
Speaker 1: larius hilarious. I've heard that there is one showrunner whose
Speaker 1: iconic thing is to say instead of laughs, she goes,
Speaker 1: that's funny. And that's how you know it is the
Speaker 1: opposite of that, that's funny.
Speaker 6: Oh, it's like her way of turning down a joke.
Speaker 6: I'll OK, great, it's it's not only just larious.
Speaker 1: You are such a laugher though, such a laugher.
Speaker 6: And so I listened to that, and I'm like, this
Speaker 6: is so weird, and I'm like, oh, I've been I
Speaker 6: was hanging around a lean so much, I think, and
Speaker 6: I think I was also really tired, yea, and hungry.
Speaker 1: You pick things up in rooms with people that are
Speaker 1: the authorities, like I remember, yeah, I picked up from
Speaker 1: Chris Kelly and Sarah Schneider the blank of it all,
Speaker 1: like we're talking about the carry of it all, we're
Speaker 1: talking about the like. And then I started saying that
Speaker 1: all the time because it was just a catch all
Speaker 1: and it just happens. It's osmosis, a word you used
Speaker 1: earlier cosmotically. Oh anyway, maybe.
Speaker 6: You should have been a doctor.
Speaker 1: And that's really good. It's a really medical.
Speaker 3: I was going to be lazy and do orthopedics because
Speaker 3: it's not gory blood and it is gory, I guess,
Speaker 3: but it's like setting to do surgery. You don't necessarily
Speaker 3: have to be you're just setting bones. And then you're like, oh, great,
Speaker 3: I made four hundred thousand dollars this year or something
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm actually really glad you didn't go to medical.
Speaker 1: School, because yeah, I don't very little, so.
Speaker 6: I actually really there was a part of me when
Speaker 6: I was younger that was dabbling with being a doctor
Speaker 6: because I loved blood and gore. I still do ever
Speaker 6: since I've become a parent, my tolerance and it's not
Speaker 6: just in kids. My tolerance for all violence and blood
Speaker 6: and gore has gone down my heart. And I say
Speaker 6: in a special my heart has just been cracked open
Speaker 6: and I'm lame now.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, what it's the door has been open
Speaker 1: and no matter how hard you try, you can't close.
Speaker 6: And it's just like but even I was watching the
Speaker 6: Menendez Brothers thing on Netflix and you see her hand
Speaker 6: get like shot off.
Speaker 1: I had to skip all that. That's a crazy then
Speaker 1: it's a.
Speaker 6: Really crazy scene. And it bothered me in a way
Speaker 6: that there's just something about having a kid suddenly, and
Speaker 6: maybe it's also because I've now lost a friend. The
Speaker 6: combination of that suddenly, gore and grief and loss is
Speaker 6: not something that's over there. It's very real and it
Speaker 6: destroys me. The second Avatar movie, Okay, the whales.
Speaker 1: The whales, the tocoon. But that's okay, crazy, So how
Speaker 1: do you know?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 1: Because I saw the film so many so.
Speaker 6: This is how much being a parents. So the scene
Speaker 6: where they kill the it's the tuccoon, the scene where
Speaker 6: they killed tacoon. And then she's a mother, her baby
Speaker 6: is strong, her baby is strong, and then she goes.
Speaker 1: She was a singer of songs, she was a composer
Speaker 1: of songs.
Speaker 6: I kept thinking about the baby because you never see
Speaker 6: the dead baby. So when I got home, I couldn't
Speaker 6: stop thinking about it. I googled to coon baby dead
Speaker 6: or alive because I wanted to find some sort of
Speaker 6: Reddit or Chora a thread where someone had a theory
Speaker 6: that the baby was alive. That's how much I can't
Speaker 6: read the news.
Speaker 1: You can't even theorize about it. It was a fact
Speaker 1: that baby did.
Speaker 6: The idea of like you've killed a mother, and the
Speaker 6: baby whale also died because she didn't have the milk.
Speaker 6: This is a fictitious alien whale. I know, and I'm great,
Speaker 6: and it's all I could think about.
Speaker 1: I never could really do like horror. But then what's
Speaker 1: crazy is like it's the violence that bothers me. Yes,
Speaker 1: like I couldn't watch that scene in Menendez for that reason.
Speaker 1: And I kind of just like I've always been very
Speaker 1: sensitive to that. I'm documented on this podcast as being
Speaker 1: like really sensitive to gore and horror and stuff. But
Speaker 1: when people die in movies, it like it hurts my feelings. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and in the way where I'm like, like, even if
Speaker 1: I'm writing something I don't, I very rarely kill characters
Speaker 1: and like things that I write, Like even back in
Speaker 1: the day doing sketch comedy, I rarely had people die
Speaker 1: because I just think it's sad.
Speaker 6: I mean, I feel like constantly, you know, the classic
Speaker 6: weight to end of sketch was for just someone to
Speaker 6: do this, just like back in the day, So I
Speaker 6: wrote on the show Robot Chicken, where like if someone
Speaker 6: isn't exploding, I ended numerous sketches when I wrote for
Speaker 6: robut Chicken with someone like shitting themselves to death. I
Speaker 6: knew the way to get in a Robot Chicken sketch
Speaker 6: was to end the dialogue going herd, which is someone
Speaker 6: shitting themselves to that, and it spelled h u u
Speaker 6: u u r r r g g g g g
Speaker 6: h j J and it's very basically.
Speaker 1: The final important herd.
Speaker 3: You say this in the special, which is that, like
Speaker 3: you see now that all children are fragile, and therefore
Speaker 3: the bigger idea there is like everything is fragile, of course,
Speaker 3: and that's why you're like to coon dead or alive,
Speaker 3: like I need to know. It doesn't matter that it's
Speaker 3: a fictitious whale. It's like everything, even the imagined stuff,
Speaker 3: is fragile. Yeah, and that's that's all it is.
Speaker 6: It's too Yeah, yes, you're absolutely right. And in fact,
Speaker 6: when I was a kid, kids are fucked up. Kids
Speaker 6: have a really fucked up since if you were, because
Speaker 6: when you're a kid a lot of time you don't
Speaker 6: have much to lose. So it's like why teens make
Speaker 6: dead baby jokes. It's like there's a hardness, there's a lightness,
Speaker 6: there's an I'm going to live forever. Death and grief
Speaker 6: and a lot of bad things are so far away,
Speaker 6: and it's just not that's not who I am anymore.
Speaker 6: And it's weird because I used to have a really
Speaker 6: high tolerance for stuff.
Speaker 1: Even out of everyone that we did sketch with, you
Speaker 1: were like kind of known as the darkest one. I mean,
Speaker 1: we did like that. We were never in the group together,
Speaker 1: but famously like at the end of the year, all
Speaker 1: the seniors were get to do their own thing, and
Speaker 1: it was just they just read all your blackout lines
Speaker 1: and how blue they all were like, how dark and
Speaker 1: they all were imber that.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, I forgot that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was just like I remember that.
Speaker 6: It was like, I'm a dark I'm that's half me
Speaker 6: being a dark person. Also me cosplaying as a comedy guy,
Speaker 6: which we talked about seven and a half years.
Speaker 1: Ago, and I do want to get back.
Speaker 6: No, no, no. We talked a lot about our college
Speaker 6: comedy groups and it's interesting. I can't go into specifics,
Speaker 6: but in sharing my story, which was that I was,
Speaker 6: you know, got calm this love triangle and I was
Speaker 6: removed as director of Hammercats. I have since heard stories
Speaker 6: about other women in years behind me, but I thought
Speaker 6: the groups were better going through other things not dissimilar
Speaker 6: to that. And it's numerous stories. Yes, and I have
Speaker 6: some bones to pick, not with you two, but I
Speaker 6: have some other bones to pick.
Speaker 1: Interesting off Mic, not with us, you're saying not with us,
Speaker 1: but we would no, no, not with no.
Speaker 6: No, you guys aren't the problem not with you two.
Speaker 6: I have bones to pick with various other people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was.
Speaker 3: I was inserting myself in that, being like, well, we
Speaker 3: would love to know off the mic, we're not even
Speaker 3: privy to that information necessarily.
Speaker 6: No, I'll tell you of mine.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 6: But I think it's interesting because that was seven years
Speaker 6: ago and I could and I still. I mean, I
Speaker 6: wrote about in my book this. There's something that I know.
Speaker 6: College is very formative, like stuff that happens to you.
Speaker 6: Your brain is still for me. I think your brain's
Speaker 6: not fully formed until you're twenty five or something thing
Speaker 6: like that. Then there's a reason these experiences mold you
Speaker 6: in shape you anyway.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I think about the way I was back then,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Jesus Christ, this is great.
Speaker 6: So first of all, right, this was you were a
Speaker 6: week away from being on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Speaker 1: Oh oh yeah, what.
Speaker 6: Ended up happening?
Speaker 1: I won five thousand dollars.
Speaker 6: Great.
Speaker 1: So I think I know this, but I wanted to.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you said it.
Speaker 6: I just wanted to.
Speaker 1: Well, I went out to Vegas with Sudie, who was
Speaker 1: my photo friend phono friend, but at that point, they
Speaker 1: were just doing like plus one, like she sat behind
Speaker 1: me in the audience and then came out. I guess
Speaker 1: they finally figured out that phono friend could be very easily,
Speaker 1: like you know, you could cheat because your your friend
Speaker 1: could just be school like googling it. They caught up
Speaker 1: to the age of technology and the friend was there.
Speaker 1: So we were there and Chris Harrison from The Bachelor
Speaker 1: was the host who did not like me, and I
Speaker 1: could tell, and he like did this thing where so
Speaker 1: I got on a second episode because like they we
Speaker 1: ran out of time and then I had to come
Speaker 1: back out for the second episode, and I guess I
Speaker 1: messed up my entrance and he didn't like that because
Speaker 1: I guess it was the end of the day and
Speaker 1: so he wanted to go home. I guess he did
Speaker 1: give a very I'm over this very tired energy like
Speaker 1: he was doing the job, but like very like I'm
Speaker 1: half awake and I'm Chris Harrison, which was kind of
Speaker 1: his whole thing anyway, which I think made him a
Speaker 1: good host of The Bachelor because no one was looking
Speaker 1: at him. They were looking at like the guy and
Speaker 1: then the girls because whatever, just a perfect vanilla host
Speaker 1: and then he when I did my entrance to come
Speaker 1: out the second time, I went to shake his hand
Speaker 1: and he pulled my hand and you can actually see
Speaker 1: in the video me like come off my feet a
Speaker 1: little bit because he was like trying to do like
Speaker 1: a male dominance, like don't mess around. Yeah, he was
Speaker 1: a jerk, total jerk. And I remember me and Sudi
Speaker 1: where we went to commercial break and he did the
Speaker 1: thing where it's like the host is talking while while
Speaker 1: everyone collapsed and you go to commercial and he literally
Speaker 1: did that thing of like and now's the part we
Speaker 1: pretend to talk.
Speaker 6: So is that Jesus?
Speaker 5: You know what?
Speaker 1: Like everyone's allowed to have a whatever day, but that
Speaker 1: was my experience.
Speaker 6: We mean to because then let's share it on here podcast.
Speaker 1: I'll say it on the Last Coach.
Speaker 6: It's like that reporter who's now going back retrospectively and
Speaker 6: being like these are some of my worst interviews.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, the one with Blake Lively.
Speaker 6: But then also there's like one with an Hathaway and
Speaker 6: like I was like that's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but do you blame them? No? Oh do I
Speaker 1: blame them?
Speaker 6: Look, press junkets are are also I got jel X.
Speaker 1: For the first time, gorgeous show the camera.
Speaker 6: It's like, also, but picking my nose is heroin. That's okay,
Speaker 6: just because because I'll stab myself. I guess I could.
Speaker 6: I can tweezer it.
Speaker 1: Press junkets about press prest.
Speaker 6: Junkets are really have you ever done like a proper?
Speaker 6: Have you guys ever done like a proper?
Speaker 1: You're in a room.
Speaker 6: You're in there, the same room for three hours. They
Speaker 6: bring people in.
Speaker 1: It's tiring you say the same shit over and over.
Speaker 6: I think what's messed up is that for other people
Speaker 6: to notice these interviews and for them to go viral. Yeah,
Speaker 6: that's the Internet. There's something a little messed up about
Speaker 6: the journalist exhuming it because it's a little bit like
Speaker 6: there's a little bit of a therapist client confidentiality because
Speaker 6: you're both in it together, you're both in the trenches together.
Speaker 1: I got it. I don't think it's cool.
Speaker 6: It's juicy. You're right, it's juicy, but also like it's
Speaker 6: it's a little bit of like, yeah, just stop, it's
Speaker 6: it's your work colleagues a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, yeah, I guess my thing is just like
Speaker 1: the thing with Chris Harrison was like, it was like
Speaker 1: I had that experience whatever, and then like a few
Speaker 1: years later he said all that like whack shit, Like
Speaker 1: when when The Bachelor was having a lot of like
Speaker 1: there was a lot of conversations about like race with
Speaker 1: the Bachelor and he really kind of like doubled down.
Speaker 1: No one needed to expose him for being whatever way
Speaker 1: because he kind of was like he unveiled himself as
Speaker 1: a little bit of a jerk.
Speaker 6: Everyone knows he's a piece of shit. I have to believe,
Speaker 6: and this has been proven numerous times that if someone
Speaker 6: is mean to you in the industry, the world will
Speaker 6: figure it out that if you if they're mean to you,
Speaker 6: you're not an isolated experience. You don't have to go
Speaker 6: on a public ty rate against them. They are going
Speaker 6: to out themselves. Yes, and I and that has now
Speaker 6: happened numerous times where I'm like, the world will take
Speaker 6: care of them.
Speaker 1: That's a little culture number eight. The world will take
Speaker 1: care of them.
Speaker 3: You know, we've had this discussion about this Taylor Swift quote.
Speaker 3: She says, trash takes itself out every time. You don't
Speaker 3: think that's true.
Speaker 1: I kind of I'm not every time. Every time did
Speaker 1: I say. I don't think that's true. I think it
Speaker 1: not every time, but I think trash will likely take
Speaker 1: itself out eventually. That's what I think.
Speaker 6: It might smell up the house.
Speaker 1: I just think, especially if you're like a well known person.
Speaker 1: Now a days, the media is so sensitive and it's
Speaker 1: like anyone can pull something up from a long time ago,
Speaker 1: Like there's records of everything. With the Internet, it's like
Speaker 1: you can't really hide who you are, especially now when
Speaker 1: everyone's on like an authenticity hunt. Yes, because it's like
Speaker 1: that's what people get off on and that's what people
Speaker 1: connect to, and so it's like I almost think it's
Speaker 1: the reason why we're seeing this shift away from like
Speaker 1: the Diane Sawyer type interview and more towards the like
Speaker 1: Alex Cooper thing with Kamala Harris. Like it's just it's
Speaker 1: everything is becoming a lot more casual because I think
Speaker 1: people are attracted to it. But that casualness is going
Speaker 1: to cause people to therefore act very casual. And when
Speaker 1: someone acts casual like that, they're gonna they're gonna show
Speaker 1: who they really are.
Speaker 6: Well, the access is just different. Yeah, thirty years ago,
Speaker 6: if someone did an interview you couldn't then rewatch that
Speaker 6: interview unless you taped it on a VHS exactly. But
Speaker 6: now that interview is forever, so people can scrutinize. I'm
Speaker 6: not even talking about things that happened to myself as
Speaker 6: much as just what happens, like you can go and
Speaker 6: be like, wait a second, this is crazy. It's just
Speaker 6: the access to how people act at every moment is
Speaker 6: so just the technology wasn't there thirty years ago, Like
Speaker 6: growing up my ideas, I'm sure your ideas of like
Speaker 6: I want to be a star. What that meant was different,
Speaker 6: Like when I thought I want to be a star, and.
Speaker 1: I would have sorry, who was the who for the
Speaker 1: wrestler who went all of the people wrestler.
Speaker 6: Melissa, Oh, there are people, there are people up there.
Speaker 7: I love it.
Speaker 1: And when she said the word fuck and it was
Speaker 1: she pretended like she didn't know it was so clearly
Speaker 1: she was going, I respect Melissa Leo. She no, no, no,
Speaker 1: she break him.
Speaker 6: Paigny she did. He succeeded. The thing that I keep
Speaker 6: also seeing that social media and the world rewards that
Speaker 6: I guess I need to be better at is shamelessness.
Speaker 6: I have very rarely seen people who are schmoozy in
Speaker 6: a cringey way. Mostly they get rewarded for it because
Speaker 6: they're not being bad people, they're being schmoozy. I see
Speaker 6: them getting rewarded for it, even though it makes me
Speaker 6: sometimes cringe the way it is. And this is also
Speaker 6: just social media spawn con I very rarely see that
Speaker 6: cringiness get attacked online. I don't think I mean online attacks.
Speaker 6: I don't think anyone should be really attacked on. It's
Speaker 6: been three weeks with this cough happens. I hope that's
Speaker 6: not foreshadowing. I hope you don't play this episode back
Speaker 6: in seven years and I was like, that was that
Speaker 6: was when it began.
Speaker 1: Come back and talk about it anymore, because that's always
Speaker 1: what happens. It's like people are like, when.
Speaker 7: I die, what I want is and I'm like, don't
Speaker 7: give them that, because like, don't ever be on camera
Speaker 7: being like, I guess the last thing I'd ever want
Speaker 7: to say is it's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: You're going to use that and the true crime documentary
Speaker 1: or it's just you're just putting that energy out there.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I gave, I gave Do you remember do
Speaker 6: you remember Jeff Eckman.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Jeff.
Speaker 6: One time we gave each other our like death, our
Speaker 6: request if we were to die. This is when I
Speaker 6: was twenty and one of my requests was that he
Speaker 6: somehow kicked Dick Cheney in the balls.
Speaker 1: Sure, very two thousand and seven and.
Speaker 6: Eight, very, how is he going to get access to
Speaker 6: Dick Cheney?
Speaker 1: How would he?
Speaker 6: I also, he might get he himself might get assassinated
Speaker 6: if he tried to kick Dick Cheney. And oh, certainly
Speaker 6: so do I still have that request?
Speaker 1: Kind of pass?
Speaker 6: I don't even want to get into it.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, the whole thing with the Chenese is
Speaker 1: it's like all of a sudden, we're like, and thank you,
Speaker 1: Liz Cheney. Where's Chinese? Has been one of the worst
Speaker 1: people in government for such a long time and here
Speaker 1: having basic humanity right now and like not being a
Speaker 1: complete fucking moron is like now now she might watch
Speaker 1: what she's like in the cabinet.
Speaker 6: So I mean, what you think back on Mitt Romney's
Speaker 6: binders full of women? Oh yeah, I long for binders
Speaker 6: full of women.
Speaker 1: Oh remember remember one be ended her.
Speaker 6: Ken the things that ended? Remember when Marco Rubio was thirsty.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh the water just kept drinking water.
Speaker 6: But yeah, the Howard Dean's scream ruining his career is yeah,
Speaker 6: we are fining. That's why the internet was that.
Speaker 1: What year was that? Two thousand and four?
Speaker 6: So I feel like that was the inner people being like, wait,
Speaker 6: on the Internet, you can play things.
Speaker 1: You can clip it and distribute.
Speaker 3: If I were to do it all over again, even
Speaker 3: at n YU media Seti's oh so or something sociological
Speaker 3: or something, I'm like, I need no, I like, I
Speaker 3: love especially now as like an adult, I'm like, I
Speaker 3: want to know how these things work. As we're talking
Speaker 3: about like media literacy and like what like being like
Speaker 3: a public facing person means now, Like I'm like, oh
Speaker 3: I need I really want to like pop open the hood.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
Speaker 6: So what I was going to say was when I
Speaker 6: was a kid and I was thinking, and I was
Speaker 6: watching the Golden Globes or the Oscars and being like, oh,
Speaker 6: that's what being famous is. What I never what never
Speaker 6: occurred to me when I'd ever thought about because it
Speaker 6: wasn't possible, was like I want to be at a
Speaker 6: place where I can post a thought about something that
Speaker 6: has nothing to do with the work that I'm doing,
Speaker 6: and that thought will be I will be seen as
Speaker 6: either an expert or scrutinized for it. That was never
Speaker 6: a part of being You had to go out of
Speaker 6: your way when we were growing up. In order to
Speaker 6: like be a celebrity and make a statement on something,
Speaker 6: you had to like really go out of your way.
Speaker 6: You had to say it, like during an award speech,
Speaker 6: you had to make it a point in an interview.
Speaker 6: It was more rare. And now that everyone is expected
Speaker 6: to be an authority and expert on everything and everything
Speaker 6: is on the record at all times at all times,
Speaker 6: is really and I'm not even talking about it if
Speaker 6: your celebrity, it's toxic for every everyone because everyone is
Speaker 6: fundamentally imperfect and in a constant state of learning. And
Speaker 6: it's it's just such we're in such a world.
Speaker 1: Of glass houses right now. It's crazy. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: it's like you stand a certain way or you stand
Speaker 1: a certain place, and it's like a statement on things,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's like you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like it's just it's silly, it's dumb.
Speaker 6: Like I also remember when they this is this is
Speaker 6: fifteen years ago. Remember when they asked child Justin Bieber
Speaker 6: at abortion.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy, and he was like, I don't.
Speaker 6: Know, it seems sad. It's like killing a baby. And
Speaker 6: it was like, Justin Bieber is anti abortion. It's like
Speaker 6: he's a Canadian child. What do you well, he's not
Speaker 6: an abortion he's singing, baby baby, what are you doing.
Speaker 6: I also think like when his songs about babies, of
Speaker 6: course he's gonna on the side of pro baby, of
Speaker 6: pro baby ticket, you know what. And it's also big baby.
Speaker 3: It's big baby is out there and he does it
Speaker 3: was a baby. And I just want to say, just
Speaker 3: to just to quickly put a point on this uppearing
Speaker 3: on this is never liked dead baby jokes, even as
Speaker 3: a teenager.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's yeah, I don't like dead baby jokes at all.
Speaker 6: I you are better people than no.
Speaker 3: That's no, no, no, and that's not I just I
Speaker 3: never got it. Even as a fourteen year old when
Speaker 3: kids were doing it, I was like, this is upsetic.
Speaker 6: So for you know what, it was for me and
Speaker 6: I would say like this with dark humor, and this
Speaker 6: is why I also win hammercats.
Speaker 1: I was dark.
Speaker 6: So I grew up in southern California, by the beach
Speaker 6: where everyone was. If you weren't happy, you covered it.
Speaker 6: It is a happy, beautiful place. I was just there
Speaker 6: this weekend. It's gorgeous. And if you're unhappy, which I
Speaker 6: was a lot of the time, you feel crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 6: because you're like, I'll take off my sunglasses fist because
Speaker 6: this is important. You're like, there's something wrong with me.
Speaker 6: Why would I be unhappy here? The sun is out,
Speaker 6: everyone around me is happy. Santa's is on a surfboard
Speaker 6: when it's Christmas, because that's the aesthetic of Like, so
Speaker 6: in California beach Christmas, it's always sand on a surfboard.
Speaker 6: Yes he's wearing like the Santa clothes, but he's in
Speaker 6: shorts and he has that Sanna packs and Sana. How
Speaker 6: could you be unhappy around Pakistan? Around Pakistansana? And so
Speaker 6: I think that I looked I went to a very
Speaker 6: dark place sometimes because I looked for validation of the
Speaker 6: darkness that I felt inside myself that wasn't being validated
Speaker 6: on the outside. And the East Coast so like Long
Speaker 6: Island half the year, Like Long Island fucking sucks totally,
Speaker 6: Like it's like gross.
Speaker 1: It reminds me that life is suffering by nature of
Speaker 1: the season, even winter.
Speaker 6: Winter reminds you that life is fundamentally suffering. But if
Speaker 6: it's always it.
Speaker 1: Allows you to change because you realize that time is passing.
Speaker 1: It's sort of like Gabby, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's like she lives in that in that simulation all
Speaker 1: the time. It never changes. That's why she's an eighteen
Speaker 1: year old, four year old.
Speaker 6: So maya existence was more like Gabby's dollhouse, right than
Speaker 6: had I lived on the East coast, right. So I
Speaker 6: did things like you look for dark humor, like did
Speaker 6: be jos you. I read The Exorcist for an eighth
Speaker 6: grade book report, and I read about the Exorcist, and
Speaker 6: that's a dark that's book is not appropriate for a
Speaker 6: thirteen year old. She fucks herself with a crucifix. I mean,
Speaker 6: she talks about like it's really what's the position the
Speaker 6: demon that possess it's Pazuzu, right, I did the thing
Speaker 6: where she was. There's a part of the Exorcist book
Speaker 6: where she's being interviewed and she's speaking what they think
Speaker 6: is a foreign tongue, and then they play it back
Speaker 6: and she's speaking backwards, and she says no one, my
Speaker 6: and I recorded myself doing it on the computer and
Speaker 6: then played it backwards and I am no one to
Speaker 6: hear my own voice at thirteen go, I am no one.
Speaker 1: I am no See that's the that's really so that's
Speaker 1: why I kind of things playing backwards in songs like
Speaker 1: that ship, like the Urban Legends and everything.
Speaker 6: No, no, no, no, I should do that.
Speaker 1: You should.
Speaker 6: I should make a song where there's like a backwards
Speaker 6: message that's just.
Speaker 1: Like subliminally in that's like I died.
Speaker 6: I died in two thousand and eight. I am. I'm
Speaker 6: now an Illuminati robot. Okay, take a note. Okay, wait
Speaker 6: this episode seven a half years ago. Oh yeah, yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 6: So we were talking about award shows. Here's what's great.
Speaker 6: It is, without question, the person who's going to be
Speaker 6: nominated for big awards is you, and that Bowen will
Speaker 6: be coming to award shows with you.
Speaker 1: So I mean long life as long and it should.
Speaker 6: But it's just very funny because you've now been to
Speaker 6: the Primetime Emmys way more than I, but you've won
Speaker 6: and I haven't. Yes, I mean technically I want to
Speaker 6: create an art semi. It's the same memmy.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.
Speaker 6: And you described your ideal mourning that you wake up
Speaker 6: and someone hands you a mimosa, and that I was.
Speaker 1: By the way, right, I don't know, it's pretty great.
Speaker 1: And this is where I said I wanted to work
Speaker 1: Canary yellow. Yes, yeah, okay, that's and you want.
Speaker 6: To marry out because you wanted to appear as if
Speaker 6: you there's no way you'd win, and then you were
Speaker 6: practicing your winning faces. So now I'd like to ask you,
Speaker 6: what's your award show morning or and have you take
Speaker 6: Have you gone to award shows with him?
Speaker 1: I went to the Emmys with you when you were
Speaker 1: nominated as a writer as a writer, and then I
Speaker 1: haven't been back.
Speaker 7: No.
Speaker 1: It overwhelms me a lot.
Speaker 6: It's that's what I was, and I was saying that
Speaker 6: it's a lot, and and nothing else in life is
Speaker 6: a lot. And everyone around you also has the vibe
Speaker 6: of this is a lot. Yea, No one really feels
Speaker 6: like they belong there. Everyone else is like I girls
Speaker 6: from actor.
Speaker 1: It's I think that's one of the things too, that's
Speaker 1: like so different about when you're little and you look
Speaker 1: up and you're like, wow, I want to be like
Speaker 1: a big star. Is like you think that there's going
Speaker 1: to be like a comfort and like an elusivity to
Speaker 1: the experience, and you're just like uncomfortable and like it's
Speaker 1: all a show, you know what I mean, Like you realize,
Speaker 1: like that red carpet, you've waited for an hour to
Speaker 1: get on it around people who are like hungry and
Speaker 1: uncomfortable and with their publicists. Yes, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's all It sucks to say it's all fake because
Speaker 1: that sounds so rough, but it is constructed.
Speaker 6: Well, you're you're not seeing the part where you're waiting
Speaker 6: in line. I love being at shows and talking. I
Speaker 6: also I wrote on the People's Choice Awards many years ago,
Speaker 6: and I thought it was really interesting. And whenever I'm
Speaker 6: at awards, I like talking to the people working behind
Speaker 6: the scenes and been like, so, what's the drama today?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I get the tea. Sometimes they're like, oh, well,
Speaker 6: so and so was supposed to present. They didn't like
Speaker 6: their speech, and I was like, and I love. I
Speaker 6: love hearing that stuff because it's a job. People are
Speaker 6: there to work. It's a work event.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So when you went, I'm this is a question for
Speaker 6: both of you. When you wake up on an awards morning.
Speaker 6: Did someone hand you on Mimosa?
Speaker 3: No one hited me and Mimosa. I'll just order a
Speaker 3: room service and then I'll like work out, meditate, and
Speaker 3: then like put on the clothes and that's it.
Speaker 1: And then like this year at the fun part, fun
Speaker 1: part is putting on the clothes.
Speaker 3: This year Suity came and you know, we like did
Speaker 3: a whole just had a nice time taking a couple
Speaker 3: of pictures, and then and then becomes prom for like
Speaker 3: twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: Yes, and that's fun.
Speaker 3: And then once you're once you arrive at the thing
Speaker 3: and you got to meet your public system and you
Speaker 3: gotta walk, and it's like then it becomes work. And
Speaker 3: then you're like, ooh, this is the curtain's been pulled back?
Speaker 3: Literally was it of a style? Like oh, this is
Speaker 3: not what I thought it would be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And the whole night is about adjusting to that,
Speaker 1: and then as soon as you feel slightly adjusted, then
Speaker 1: it ends. Although I will.
Speaker 3: Say I do think it's a mercy that the category
Speaker 3: that I've been nominated and the past three times has
Speaker 3: been Top a Show. And then the rest of the
Speaker 3: night I'm like, Okay, well we're drinking, you know, like
Speaker 3: do you leave after your I don't. I'm just like
Speaker 3: I might as well stay, Like who knows when I'll
Speaker 3: be back, Like I might as well say for this, Yeah,
Speaker 3: so do you?
Speaker 1: You shaid no.
Speaker 6: But also the times that the Emmys I was nominated.
Speaker 6: I think my category was towards the end, so I
Speaker 6: was always there. And then you're just nervous. Okay, let
Speaker 6: me ask you a question. So I had to do
Speaker 6: so much awards campaign for Crazy X. I knew exactly
Speaker 6: when the Golden Globes nominations were coming out, when Emmy
Speaker 6: nominations because I had to. I was the face of
Speaker 6: the show.
Speaker 1: I had to.
Speaker 6: And every night I would get before an Awards show nomination,
Speaker 6: it was the worst anxiety. I couldn't sleep. And the
Speaker 6: next time it happened, God willing if it ever happens again,
Speaker 6: Like I should take a zatax or something. I mean,
Speaker 6: when I last time with the Emmys, I was was
Speaker 6: I pregnant when the nominations were announced.
Speaker 1: I was pregnant.
Speaker 6: I was pregnant.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, so I.
Speaker 6: Couldn't dig his annex. But anyway, I'm always aware of
Speaker 6: when the Awards nominations are not always, but often I'm
Speaker 6: aware and it gives me horrible like anxiety. It feels
Speaker 6: like it feels like the worst version of like a
Speaker 6: cast list coming out. I don't know, Yeah, it feels weird.
Speaker 6: But then you hear people be asked like what were
Speaker 6: you doing when you found out you were nominated? And
Speaker 6: they're like, oh my god, I didn't know the nominations
Speaker 6: were today.
Speaker 1: I was at the gym.
Speaker 6: That's fake, right, So like, what are your feelings the
Speaker 6: night before nominations this year?
Speaker 3: I was, honestly, honest to god, the night before I
Speaker 3: obviously knew that the nominations were coming out the next day,
Speaker 3: but I was just like finally back in town, getting
Speaker 3: my apartment all together, couldn't really sleep. But then woke
Speaker 3: up the next morning and be like, I'm gonna go
Speaker 3: to the gym. I'm gonna sit in the steamer room
Speaker 3: for like ten minutes. So I like had this like agida,
Speaker 3: But then I sat in the steamroom meditated, did a
Speaker 3: whole like I had a whole moment to myself where
Speaker 3: it was like, whatever happens, like you care obviously, but
Speaker 3: it's probably not gonna happen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so just like ground yourself in that and
Speaker 1: then go about the rest.
Speaker 3: Of your day and you have all these other things
Speaker 3: in your schedule that were purely domestic, like you're gonna
Speaker 3: go and buy like a new trash cam. You know,
Speaker 3: like you're gonna go, You're gonna like work on this thing.
Speaker 3: And then it was like in the middle of my
Speaker 3: day that like it came out. And then the first
Speaker 3: somehow these publicists know everything before anyone else does, and
Speaker 3: then that's when they text you, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: and like I found out through text. I was like,
Speaker 3: oh great, But I packed my day so much that
Speaker 3: I was like, well, I gotta move. I got to
Speaker 3: like go to this next place. And like the inertia
Speaker 3: of that and the momentum of that was helpful.
Speaker 6: It's good. It's grounding.
Speaker 3: It's grounding. I also hate the bullshit of like, oh,
Speaker 3: I had no idea. I mean, I obviously had the awareness,
Speaker 3: but I.
Speaker 6: Guess there are some people they would have to be like,
Speaker 6: I'm not going online, don't tell me when the nominations are.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 6: I was.
Speaker 1: I was tracking and I was like, oh, and it's
Speaker 1: eleven am.
Speaker 6: So here's the problem is for because it's West coast.
Speaker 6: We always cater to you guys. Yeah, they're always like
Speaker 6: six am, right, yeah, And so then you're like, well
Speaker 6: it's six I might as well stay up. I wish
Speaker 6: it was just an email six.
Speaker 1: Though, because I feel, you know what, not that I've
Speaker 1: ever been like in contention in a real way, but
Speaker 1: like sometimes you will be up and rolling over and
Speaker 1: then being able to see the nominees and not it
Speaker 1: being nine am and like waiting around. That's like I'd
Speaker 1: rather wake up, look at the phone and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's something happening in the phone right now, or there's not.
Speaker 1: Then it's like you can deal with it in the
Speaker 1: moment of like waking up and being by yourself and
Speaker 1: not that. I hate being anxious waiting for things. So
Speaker 1: that's what it is.
Speaker 6: I think it's just it's the anxious. It's the anxious waiting.
Speaker 1: I need to and want to take the ax because
Speaker 1: you're like, let me just kill this feeling.
Speaker 6: Yeah, It's just it's like a body, even if you
Speaker 6: don't want even if you're like this isn't it's fine,
Speaker 6: Like it's fine either way. Your body is doing something
Speaker 6: that you don't want it to.
Speaker 1: Pothead. This is literally why this is? This is because
Speaker 1: I'm like, the second I start to feel uncomfortable, it's
Speaker 1: something I'm like actively working on. Is like I have
Speaker 1: to stop my body from physically being like, Oh, you
Speaker 1: need marijuana right now to calm down.
Speaker 6: Oh wow, so you smoke a lot all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I want to ask you this. This is
Speaker 3: the moment in the special. It's not spoiling anything, but
Speaker 3: you you can spoil it.
Speaker 1: Well no, no, no, Well there's the moment that you
Speaker 1: find out or like immediately after you find out that
Speaker 1: your friend has passed away, your psychiatrist tells you all
Speaker 1: you can do is feel, and then you're like, and
Speaker 1: for some reason, I grabbed a journal because that seems
Speaker 1: like why is that the default?
Speaker 3: I like relate to this so much. It's like why
Speaker 3: do we think? Why is the imagery of like feeling
Speaker 3: of like emotional access and like directness, Like why is
Speaker 3: that so tied to like the idea of journals? Because
Speaker 3: I have the same thought where I'm like, I guess
Speaker 3: I better write this down, even though I never it's
Speaker 3: never for posterity, I never look back on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like what is that?
Speaker 3: But that ended up being like an important element of
Speaker 3: that moment for you, right where you wrote something.
Speaker 6: Down, Well, I did, but then I gave up. I
Speaker 6: mean literally, I still have the notebook somewhere. It's like
Speaker 6: Adam dot and then you know, and that's all I
Speaker 6: can write.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 6: I think that. Look, I naturally do see writing as cathartic. Yes,
Speaker 6: and there is something the moment something happens. Writing about
Speaker 6: it you do capture I don't know, you capture them.
Speaker 6: But that's very that's very product oriented. And that's not
Speaker 6: what I was in that moment. I wasn't going for
Speaker 6: like output output it all well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know why.
Speaker 6: You just when you read self care guidelines, it always
Speaker 6: says journal that's almost a thing that you've been told
Speaker 6: from a young like the American Girl car and Keeping.
Speaker 1: Of You is Dear America. Do you ever read this,
Speaker 1: Dear America?
Speaker 6: No, I'm talking about there's an American girl book from
Speaker 6: the mid nineties called The Karen Keeping of You that
Speaker 6: every young woman read, and it featured a graphic illustration
Speaker 6: of a girl putting a tampon end. Every woman listening
Speaker 6: to this or watching this who was born in the
Speaker 6: late eighties early nineties, knows what I'm talking about anyway,
Speaker 6: journal about it is the thing you read. And I
Speaker 6: was so in that moment lost when he died. I
Speaker 6: mean this is seconds after he's died that I was like,
Speaker 6: the emotions were unbearable that I was like, what will
Speaker 6: help me? I want to It was in a way
Speaker 6: it was like, maybe the journal will help me not
Speaker 6: not feel this way. I think that's what it is
Speaker 6: that I have to do. And I'm a very I
Speaker 6: gotta do something person. So the idea of just sitting
Speaker 6: with my emotion doesn't seem right. But I couldn't do it.
Speaker 6: And then I remember I took a shower and there's
Speaker 6: this ledge in my shower and I just put my
Speaker 6: head on it and sob. And even now when I'm
Speaker 6: in the shower and I'm on that and I look
Speaker 6: at that ledge, I think about that moment where I
Speaker 6: was like, sobbing, which is weird with shower sex, you
Speaker 6: gotta yeah, are.
Speaker 1: You having shower sex?
Speaker 6: Though? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Really I never could figure it out. I guess it's
Speaker 1: a little different.
Speaker 6: It's different for for gays well, because you also have
Speaker 6: to figure out because like water is not water is
Speaker 6: not a luber So that's that is a challenge of shower.
Speaker 1: Sex, right, and so thank god for natural lubrican.
Speaker 6: Well there's not. And then but also like do you
Speaker 6: put this big it away? Yeah? You know, like you go,
Speaker 6: you know like that like what you want is the steaminess, right,
Speaker 6: you don't want that? Well because also it's like calming.
Speaker 6: Sure sometimes you'll get the shower of showers, be like, oh.
Speaker 1: I have showers. Yeah, I just don't want to drown.
Speaker 1: Like if I'm like if I'm like the let's face it,
Speaker 1: the receiving partner likely okay, And then I'm like ah,
Speaker 1: and then like I'm like not in control. What if
Speaker 1: I like get put under the water.
Speaker 6: And I'm like, I wonder how many how many people
Speaker 6: die that way?
Speaker 1: How many? So many? I don't know. So many people
Speaker 1: are into like choking and stuff.
Speaker 6: My friend has a fucked up story of being at
Speaker 6: a sex club and seeing a guy die because he
Speaker 6: was really fucked up on drugs and I think he
Speaker 6: was getting his esophagus was getting compressed or something and
Speaker 6: he was and he was it was like the wrong
Speaker 6: angle and he like somehow suffocated. It wasn't anyone's fault.
Speaker 6: He just didn't he didn't notice.
Speaker 1: I think that his wind it was accident. It's such
Speaker 1: a bummers no no, no, But like I was watching
Speaker 1: or Special and then about ten fifteen minutes in, I
Speaker 1: think it really sank in that this was going to
Speaker 1: be really about death. And I know I just said,
Speaker 1: let's not talk about it on Mike because don't give
Speaker 1: them that. But I have been like thinking about it more.
Speaker 1: I think because it occurred to me a few weeks
Speaker 1: ago that I should probably put like a will together
Speaker 1: because there's a certain amount of money now yeah, And
Speaker 1: I was like I wouldn't want that to just go somewhere.
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to leave all that to
Speaker 1: my sister. And then I started to think about, like, well,
Speaker 1: I should probably do it soon because it's probably likelier
Speaker 1: that i'll die here, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 1: thought about like somewhere I'm going later in the month,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, that's a spot that could get attacked.
Speaker 1: And I'm like thinking to myself, and then I was
Speaker 1: like I was hearing myself think and I was like,
Speaker 1: what is this a product of Is it a product
Speaker 1: of our current landscape? Is it a product of me
Speaker 1: getting a little bit older. Is it the pandemic that
Speaker 1: made death very real? I think it is all.
Speaker 6: It's hard to ext it's hard to extricate one factor
Speaker 6: from another. I think we're older, we're older, and also
Speaker 6: death is all around us. And I think that it
Speaker 6: would be impossible too, because I think about this too,
Speaker 6: where it's like giving birth, raying the pandemic, my daughter
Speaker 6: being the nick you, my writing partner for those of
Speaker 6: who don't know my right, my songwriting partner died a
Speaker 6: week after my daughter was born. It is hard to
Speaker 6: extricate her being in the nick you, from it being COVID,
Speaker 6: from him dying of it. Like I don't know if
Speaker 6: you'd isolated each of these incidents, how each one would
Speaker 6: feel in a vacuum.
Speaker 1: It is all experience.
Speaker 6: It's all one. You can't when you start pulling apart
Speaker 6: those threads. I don't know who knows. But a will's
Speaker 6: I mean, you know, I mean, we have a kid,
Speaker 6: so we've made we've made a will. It's all it's
Speaker 6: all getting left to you. I should say that this
Speaker 6: is the moment that I admit it all goes to you.
Speaker 6: That's why I came here today.
Speaker 1: Wow, I wasn't expecting it, but I didn't want to say.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like nomination morning, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: And like I was coming here and thinking, is she
Speaker 1: giving me? Is she bequeathing me? By the way, bequeath?
Speaker 1: That's a funny word for it.
Speaker 6: Dad so good, because has anyone done a pun like bequeath?
Speaker 1: You don't want to do it? Oh, I bequeathed my Yeah,
Speaker 1: imagine if that was how I quafed beautiful. That's what
Speaker 1: happens when I thought, just did your do your cleefs
Speaker 1: have a tone to them?
Speaker 6: No, they are pure air, juicy, No, they're pure air
Speaker 6: if I've just taken a bath.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 6: They sound like the world's nastiest diary of art because
Speaker 6: it's because it's it's like, I know you'll answer this, yeah, squirting,
Speaker 6: I don't. I'm not a squirter.
Speaker 1: You never have.
Speaker 6: I remember I have memories of being in like when
Speaker 6: I first started masturbating of like sort something squirting. I
Speaker 6: think it was pee. I think I had to pee
Speaker 6: and I like masturbated three times in a row and
Speaker 6: then the pee just got forced out because it hasn't
Speaker 6: happened since.
Speaker 1: Which it didn't feel you remember how it felt. It
Speaker 1: felt like, Oh, I just peed myself. It's crazy when
Speaker 1: you watch because sometimes I do watch straight porn and
Speaker 1: I will get into squirting.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I am scorting porn and I like it because
Speaker 6: the actresses are just like.
Speaker 1: And the like and like it looks like. And then
Speaker 1: that's where I get upset, Like sometimes I'm like, I
Speaker 1: wish that I could experience that. You wish this, I
Speaker 1: absolutely do. I think it's fake.
Speaker 6: I don't feel so I try to look out with
Speaker 6: squirting porn when it's very clearly water coming out of
Speaker 6: the urethra, because there's a theory that is just pissed
Speaker 6: or whatever. So when it's very clearly a stream coming
Speaker 6: out of that second hole, I don't like it because
Speaker 6: I'm like, that's just peeing right when it's like there's
Speaker 6: something that happens sometimes during scorting porn where it just
Speaker 6: fucking gushes out and you can't tell where it's coming from,
Speaker 6: and it could be from the vagina. That's the squirting port.
Speaker 6: That's the fantasy for me. It's just when it's like,
Speaker 6: when it's the stream coming out of the urethra, then
Speaker 6: it's not fantasy because it's like you're just pissing yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 6: some people like people squirt. There's this theory that it
Speaker 6: comes from something called the schemes gland skins that they've
Speaker 6: analyzed it and like some of it is pissed. The juries.
Speaker 1: The jury's still out whether on whether or not scored
Speaker 1: is pissed.
Speaker 6: And by the way, like that's how behind far behind
Speaker 6: we are on studying a woman's body.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like, shouldn't we know this.
Speaker 6: We didn't know what the clit was. The clitterist is
Speaker 6: an iceberg. It's tip of the iceberg with all of
Speaker 6: these nerves that extend into like your vagina, your butthole.
Speaker 6: You didn't know about that until I.
Speaker 1: This is Barbie. When did we find out about this?
Speaker 6: I want to say it started in the sixties, but
Speaker 6: then it was actually mapped in like the eighties. This
Speaker 6: is this is the way over half the world gets
Speaker 6: sexual pleasure, and we still are like.
Speaker 3: The recency of this shit like reminds me that there's
Speaker 3: this great piece in the cut that came out in
Speaker 3: January when you were doing the show at the Orpheum.
Speaker 6: Did some research.
Speaker 1: Well, no, of course, every morning every morning. But I
Speaker 1: was reading this back in January.
Speaker 3: Like Emily Gould, I think she wrote it, but the
Speaker 3: writer did a great job of saying like the Crazy
Speaker 3: Ex Girlfriend was very much ahead of its time in
Speaker 3: terms of like the mental health discourse that we've had.
Speaker 3: And I think the special will also kind of have
Speaker 3: this like lasting relevance and permanence because the way we
Speaker 3: think about death this has been permanently altered since the pandemic.
Speaker 3: It's like everyone is a little is a little bit
Speaker 3: let's just say, like not crazier, but just we're all
Speaker 3: like a little bit more like destabilized by the idea
Speaker 3: of like death being everywhere.
Speaker 6: And even if you're because look I think a lot
Speaker 6: of people look myself included, it's you want to move
Speaker 6: on from the pandemic. You want to not think about it,
Speaker 6: you want to see things as back to normal. But
Speaker 6: there's no denying that everyone went we went through a
Speaker 6: world mass trauma. And something I ask in the special
Speaker 6: is how do you acknowledge death but continue to live?
Speaker 6: How do you not completely compartmentalize the idea that death
Speaker 6: is going to happen because that leaves you unprepared, right,
Speaker 6: and we need to be prepared for the next pandemic.
Speaker 6: And when they say, you know, lock down or wear
Speaker 6: a mask, we need to understand where that's coming from
Speaker 6: as opposed to it being this random foreign thing. But
Speaker 6: you can't let it consume you because we're all going
Speaker 6: to die, and that's a part of life. Everything that's
Speaker 6: alive dies. Also, American culture is not is so anti death.
Speaker 6: It's so like bootstraps, the green light at the end
Speaker 6: of the dock. Ye great, Like it's all like look
Speaker 6: to the future. I think other cultures are better about
Speaker 6: integrating death, which is why going back, even for I
Speaker 6: think secular people going back to like religious ritual when
Speaker 6: someone dies is really telling that there is a ritual.
Speaker 6: Like I'm an atheist, I still crave ritual. There's something
Speaker 6: grounding about it that our American culture isn't providing, especially
Speaker 6: when it comes to death.
Speaker 1: There literally is no space.
Speaker 3: Let's just even talk about like oh, like you grieve
Speaker 3: your bereft and then come back to work in like
Speaker 3: a week. Yeah, it's like there is something nice about
Speaker 3: like let's say like sitting shiver or like doing like
Speaker 3: an Asian kind of funeral where it's like a full
Speaker 3: week or two weeks or whatever.
Speaker 6: You know, it's like there's a reason that there's a
Speaker 6: time that that. Yeah, there's like a week or two
Speaker 6: in so many cultures because you need that time to process.
Speaker 6: And I talked to a lot of people who saw
Speaker 6: the live show who came up and talked to me
Speaker 6: after the show, and like, there were numerous people who
Speaker 6: were like, my mom died two years ago, and people
Speaker 6: are like, Okay, when are you gonna be over this?
Speaker 1: Ah?
Speaker 6: And that you can tell people are uncomfortable around death.
Speaker 6: There's this amazing camp called Camp comfort Zone. It's a
Speaker 6: grief camp for children.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 6: And I went up for a day to see it
Speaker 6: a couple months ago because my friend wrote a movie
Speaker 6: that we're trying to get made about these children's grief camps.
Speaker 6: And I was talking to some of the kids there
Speaker 6: and they're like some of them were saying, like I
Speaker 6: even get bullied because a parent died. And I'm like,
Speaker 6: what is that? What do you mean they're bullied? And
Speaker 6: they were just saying, like, people are uncomfortable. They don't
Speaker 6: know what to say, they don't know.
Speaker 5: What to do.
Speaker 6: So some people don't want to talk about it. Some
Speaker 6: people need to make jokes. We're so uncomfortable because we
Speaker 6: think it could then happen to us. And for so
Speaker 6: long I think I put people dying suddenly in this
Speaker 6: far off place. Well, this is something that happens in
Speaker 6: far off countries. This doesn't happen to me. And then
Speaker 6: it happened, and it's like, oh no, yeah, this could happen.
Speaker 6: And that's why having a baby during that time was
Speaker 6: so triggering because babies, you're told that there are so
Speaker 6: many ways babies are fragile and can die and the
Speaker 6: baby can't babies can't do shit, like it's called the
Speaker 6: fourth trimester. Because babies, human babies are born premature because
Speaker 6: it has to do with I apologize any scientists. I
Speaker 6: think it's as our brains got bigger, our heads got bigger,
Speaker 6: but also we became bipedal, so our hips narrowed and
Speaker 6: the two don't work together, and so basically to get
Speaker 6: children out of the birth canal before the mother dies,
Speaker 6: they have to be born premature. So big human babies
Speaker 6: are especially really really helpless.
Speaker 1: Crazy that like evolutionarily, that like works out for.
Speaker 6: Us, because also it's still a work in progress, no totally,
Speaker 6: we're still like we're still evolving. Nature kind of hasn't
Speaker 6: figured this out yet, right.
Speaker 3: But I'm saying, like the only reason we've lasted this
Speaker 3: long as bipedal animals with whatever developing brains as we're
Speaker 3: out of the womb, it's like it's because literally because
Speaker 3: we have thumbs, because we can cold our infants. Yes,
Speaker 3: that is kind of the only right, Yeah, it's thumbs.
Speaker 3: Thumbs are so important.
Speaker 1: But there is a thing though, babies you'll see. No,
Speaker 1: you can't hold a baby like that.
Speaker 6: There isn't babies do where a little baby you'll see
Speaker 6: them go? And what that is? What that is is
Speaker 6: I feel like I wake up doing this. Yeah, so
Speaker 6: that's an instinct of when we were still apes and
Speaker 6: lived in trees that a baby would grab the mom
Speaker 6: so not fall out of the whoa, So you see
Speaker 6: a little baby go wow.
Speaker 1: Would you characterize like the feelings that because you don't
Speaker 1: really call it this in a special but would you
Speaker 1: call it postpartum anxiety what you had?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean I kind of had some pre part
Speaker 6: of anxiety too, like I had. Being nauseous made me
Speaker 6: very anxious and depressed, especially in my first trimester.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And were you very nauseous.
Speaker 6: I was very nauseous. Sorry, Yeah, I think I had
Speaker 6: post part of anxiety, but it was so wrapped up
Speaker 6: in Greefs and the pandemic. Would I have had postpartum anxiety?
Speaker 1: But yes, it just reminds me of one of those
Speaker 1: things like we were talking about, like you know, all
Speaker 1: the nerve endings and like that that were talking about
Speaker 1: like that women have. Like it's like, you know, I
Speaker 1: think maybe because I watch like some Real Housewives shows
Speaker 1: like and I hear them use the words postpart of anxiety,
Speaker 1: which is different than postpartum depression, and like you just
Speaker 1: don't hear it talked about. But you have to imagine
Speaker 1: that people women have been experiencing postpartum anxiety forever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you feel like it's only recently something that's being
Speaker 1: differentiated from postpartum depression, or being differentiated from any other
Speaker 1: feeling that you would have as a as a new
Speaker 1: mom or like an impending.
Speaker 6: Mother, because anxiety is you can cover anxiety a little
Speaker 6: bit more because anxiety is an I'm on prozac for anxiety.
Speaker 6: I'm much more of a proactive spiraler, and that includes
Speaker 6: my intrusive thoughts where it's like my thoughts go on overload,
Speaker 6: and the way my psychiatrist had described it was it
Speaker 6: was kind of two sides of the same pendulum, or
Speaker 6: it's like the pendulum swings anxiety depression, but it's fundamentally
Speaker 6: the same chemical imbalance is going on. I think, yeah,
Speaker 6: I think that, like we think postpartum depression and the
Speaker 6: image is someone laying around unable to function.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't look at my kid.
Speaker 6: Postpartum anxiety is can't look away.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that.
Speaker 6: Also, like women are neurotic, So it's I mean, there's
Speaker 6: so much I think that we're still realizing about the
Speaker 6: way mental health has been portrayed for years, like in
Speaker 6: the media that like a character is like neurotic, it's like, oh,
Speaker 6: well they should have been medicated, right totally. Like I
Speaker 6: feel like anxiety because it's active, masks itself as other things,
Speaker 6: and depression is so undeniable, where it's like someone laying
Speaker 6: around who can't do anything, like in the commercial for
Speaker 6: like What's Latuda. I feel like Liltuda is one of
Speaker 6: the commercials I've seen, and I think, I feel like
Speaker 6: this's our bipolar but it's like someone laying around. It
Speaker 6: is very easy for an actor act aut as opposed
Speaker 6: to like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, The complexity is of like what the fuck is going?
Speaker 1: Because that what it.
Speaker 6: Looks like what I'm having. And ever since I my pros,
Speaker 6: I actually haven't had a proper like intrusive thought. I
Speaker 6: don't know the intrusive thought and anxiety they kind of
Speaker 6: go together. It's complicated. Yeah, but when either way, when
Speaker 6: I'm anxious, what it looks like is this? It looks
Speaker 6: like yeah, because I go into freeze, right, there's fight
Speaker 6: flight freeze. I go into freeze. So how do you
Speaker 6: in a commercial for Latuda?
Speaker 1: How do you close up on the eyes?
Speaker 6: That's less that's less evocative.
Speaker 1: Than like yeah, then like.
Speaker 3: Wait, Donnie, can we get a tight close on Rachel's eyes?
Speaker 3: Actually does an anxiety a neurosis?
Speaker 1: So this is what it could be. Give it to
Speaker 1: her for drama? Who won Drama the year? You wan? Comedy?
Speaker 2: Do you know you said it?
Speaker 6: I think it was Sarah Paulson.
Speaker 1: Iconic. Have you guys ever met I think once? Do
Speaker 1: you ever rubbed statues? Matthew?
Speaker 6: Like literally like a statue rubbing up against another statue?
Speaker 1: What is the TCA?
Speaker 5: What is it?
Speaker 1: Is it a little man, No, it's a glass. Men
Speaker 1: can be glass and women can be serious. When I
Speaker 1: won the.
Speaker 6: TCA, there was I want to say it was a
Speaker 6: guy who wasn't even in the organization any where. He
Speaker 6: was there. He was kind of groping me right in
Speaker 6: front of my husband. It was like a problem, and
Speaker 6: I was so afraid of like making him mad at me.
Speaker 6: I didn't do anything. Now now I would be like, hey, no, yeah,
Speaker 6: but he was like he kept trying to like plyme
Speaker 6: me with more drinks, and he was like getting grabby
Speaker 6: with my waist and Gregor was right there and he
Speaker 6: and I were both it was so weird. We didn't
Speaker 6: know what to do because we were like laughing it off.
Speaker 6: Now now I think I would have been like, oh, dude.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now you would that is it because you're a mom.
Speaker 6: I think now we're post me too.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: And also I'm.
Speaker 1: I was in my late.
Speaker 8: One.
Speaker 6: No I was maybe I was just turned three. I
Speaker 6: don't know. I'm older now and I'm just like and
Speaker 6: I think I also and everything seems so tenuous that
Speaker 6: first year or two of the show, where it's like, oh,
Speaker 6: if I get mad at someone, I'm going to ruin
Speaker 6: this now I'd be like, you know what, me telling
Speaker 6: one guy to keep his hands off me is not
Speaker 6: going to ruin my career. In fact, he deserves to
Speaker 6: be called out right. We're in much more of a
Speaker 6: culture of like that's not okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but I'm still you know what.
Speaker 6: There was a guy who came up to me after
Speaker 6: like my off Broadway show and he was like there
Speaker 6: with his son, and he like kissed me on the
Speaker 6: cheek and I went, I went whoa. And I didn't
Speaker 6: know what to do because it wasn't even, it wasn't
Speaker 6: gross and gropy, it was just weird. And I went okay,
Speaker 6: and I didn't know what to say. I didn't say,
Speaker 6: how fucking dare you? I do know what to do.
Speaker 6: And then that guy came back to his credit and
Speaker 6: he went, hey, I realize the other day I came
Speaker 6: telling that was over, that was weird.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 6: He's like my son pointed out that was weird, all right,
Speaker 6: but like it's a lot harder. It's very easy to say,
Speaker 6: and this is a whole other thing about like sexual harassment.
Speaker 6: It's very easy to say, like if someone touches you
Speaker 6: in a way, you say no. When you're actually in
Speaker 6: the moment and someone is getting gropy or touching. It's
Speaker 6: really hard. We don't give anyone a template for being
Speaker 6: a denier or a rejector. We don't learn, we don't
Speaker 6: practice saying no, we don't practice boundaries. We talk about it,
Speaker 6: and it's a like you know, Instagram poetry, like you
Speaker 6: go girl. You know, it's like it's like the like
Speaker 6: if someone is in near space, tell them to get
Speaker 6: out of your space. How do you actually do that?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 6: We don't practice that enough.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there are almost no time.
Speaker 3: I mean, not to connect dots too much, but like
Speaker 3: it's it's this thing of like acknowledgment, Like we don't
Speaker 3: know how to acknowledge these very prevalent well whatever, these
Speaker 3: like facts of life about with like death or with
Speaker 3: like people being violatory or something. It's like how do
Speaker 3: you to point it out as like the hardest part,
Speaker 3: and yet it is like the first thing that has
Speaker 3: to happen in order for anything to like be better.
Speaker 1: Does that makes sense?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I know.
Speaker 6: I was also thinking about like now when someone is
Speaker 6: in a scandal or whatever, the way that they get
Speaker 6: out of is like they just don't say anything. They
Speaker 6: make it go away, and which is the opposite of
Speaker 6: what we're taught as a kid is to apologize. I
Speaker 6: feel like, not all apologies, but I feel like the
Speaker 6: more you say, even though we're taught to apologize, the
Speaker 6: more it makes things worse. Yeah, sometimes, which is like
Speaker 6: such a fucked up, weird lesson.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh not always.
Speaker 6: Not always. There are some good apologies, And a lot
Speaker 6: of the time it's when someone's apologizing for like a scandal,
Speaker 6: it's because they're also explaining it. They're not actually apologizing,
Speaker 6: They're they're giving up a very defensive explanation.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but like, as having.
Speaker 6: A kid now, I think about this, like what do
Speaker 6: I tell her about personal boundaries? And I tell her
Speaker 6: like if someone hugs you say I don't want to
Speaker 6: be hugged right now, and they're getting She's very good
Speaker 6: about that, and I want to and I want I
Speaker 6: want to keep that into her teenage and adulthood because
Speaker 6: she's not ashamed about saying I don't want to give
Speaker 6: a hug right now, and like keep that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that that's great. She already drank her juice.
Speaker 6: Jers and spilling tea.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, is now the segment that
Speaker 1: we're going to do, and also what I say to
Speaker 1: anyone who comes to me and wants to hug just kidding,
Speaker 1: I actually am a hugger.
Speaker 6: Oh a hug I'm a hugger too.
Speaker 1: I know we're all huggers here. Need someone to hug
Speaker 1: me close. I don't think Soney is a segment. Do
Speaker 1: you have any notes on the last episode.
Speaker 6: That you really want to No, No, this is a
Speaker 6: I talk about in the episode. I talk about talking
Speaker 6: to Adam that I had been in town. I think
Speaker 6: doing some pres events with ad him.
Speaker 1: He really was the best.
Speaker 6: He was the best, and so I think we had
Speaker 6: just done we did a thing at Lincoln's Center in
Speaker 6: that beautiful room that overlooks uh. We we'd done like
Speaker 6: a crazy X concert. Anyway, So listening to that and
Speaker 6: that's you know, he's now gone and be like, oh,
Speaker 6: but in that episode he's a love I know.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think in the episode we also just talk about
Speaker 3: I'm sure we went on about Mountain Dwayne and about
Speaker 3: his genius about the show obvious.
Speaker 6: I don't know if we did, but but noted we
Speaker 6: have on the show.
Speaker 1: We have we've certainly talked about on the show.
Speaker 6: I put on my sunglasses, not for that, but for
Speaker 6: I don't think.
Speaker 1: So honey good And then this is like the good
Speaker 1: energy to bring into it. I am doing it. I
Speaker 1: don't think so honey today. And it's sort of pointing inward.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna I'm actually gonna flip the form a
Speaker 1: little bit. Oh, and I'm going to connect it to
Speaker 1: the iconic four hundred, which we just did because we
Speaker 1: forgot somebody, so I'm gonna do I'm gonna use this
Speaker 1: time to give that person their flowers. This is amazing. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is Matt Rodgers is I don't think so many
Speaker 1: as time starts now, I don't think so honey. We
Speaker 1: didn't put Barbara Streis in on the X four hundred,
Speaker 1: and this is a huge mistake. And I'm going to
Speaker 1: use the let's say fifty seconds from now on to
Speaker 1: give you more than thirty you would have gotten Barber Streisan.
Speaker 1: You are the one and the only. I didn't grow
Speaker 1: up with anything that wasn't funny girl. We were a
Speaker 1: funny girl house. In fact, we were such a funny
Speaker 1: girl house that we were also a funny lady house.
Speaker 1: Now here's the thing. About Funny Lady not as good
Speaker 1: as Funny Girl. But if you really want to get
Speaker 1: into the fg CU the Funny Girl Cinematic University, have
Speaker 1: to watch Funny Ladies, in which Fanny Bryce has another
Speaker 1: relationship that proves to be challenging because when you are
Speaker 1: Fanny Bryce, you have a lot of responsibilities, you have
Speaker 1: a lot of complexities, you have a lot to live
Speaker 1: up to, and you have these men in your life
Speaker 1: who are gonna, like not necessarily give you their best
Speaker 1: because they're not good with themselves. And Barbara, you nailed that.
Speaker 1: You nail it all the time. You are one of
Speaker 1: the greatest singers of all time. I can't believe it's
Speaker 1: only five seconds, Barbara streis In, Welcome to that kind
Speaker 1: of four hundred in theory. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: that we've got you the first time.
Speaker 6: And that's one minute the Funny Girl Cinematic Universe to FDC.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is such an oversight. We forgot
Speaker 1: her and that was crazy, Barbra back in Brooklyn. Back
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn, Oh, that was one of the great concerts.
Speaker 1: When but Sudi and I went to go see Barbara
Speaker 1: streis In at the Barclays Center. Oh wow, scene, there
Speaker 1: was a moment. It was twenty sixteen, and she of
Speaker 1: course got political and there was one woman like fifteen
Speaker 1: rows behind us. We already were in bed seats, the
Speaker 1: one woman in the entire Barclays Center at Barbara Streisan
Speaker 1: that was like shut up, shut up, shut up, this
Speaker 1: one Trump woman screaming in the back, Like what did
Speaker 1: you think was gonna happen when you came to Barbara
Speaker 1: in like in Brooklyn October.
Speaker 6: Twee people with weird. There's a bit that I've been
Speaker 6: wanting to do, like I want to have like a
Speaker 6: merged section of my website. I don't know how to
Speaker 6: do this, which is called bumper stickers for no One,
Speaker 6: which would have bumper stickers that don't describe anyone. And
Speaker 6: like one of my ideas is like I'm a gun
Speaker 6: totin Bible thumping Nathan Lane super fan, and I vote vote.
Speaker 6: What is someone that doesn't exist Trump or the streisand concerts.
Speaker 1: I'm a Barbara streisand trucker and I vote.
Speaker 6: I love, Like, yeah, that doesn't make but there's someone,
Speaker 6: there's one person out there.
Speaker 3: There's definitely why Nathan Lane super Nathan Lane, Nathan Fielder,
Speaker 3: Nathan Lane, Nathan.
Speaker 1: For one second, I'm willing to bet that there are
Speaker 1: more more Trump people like Fielder fans and Nathan Lean
Speaker 1: fans of course, because they're like in the.
Speaker 6: Lion King and do they love the Lion. But I
Speaker 6: don't know if they're Nathan Like you'd have to who
Speaker 6: knows a lot about Nathan Lane?
Speaker 1: Who is who is a gun? And Lindsay Graham. Yeah
Speaker 1: they're out there, Yeah.
Speaker 6: They're out there. I love those people who are anomalies
Speaker 6: where it's like you don't make sense.
Speaker 1: You're you're building fun then diagrams.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I had an art I had an art teacher in
Speaker 1: high school who was like had like a cool haircut
Speaker 1: and like played Aretha Franklin for us, and she was
Speaker 1: also the track coach and also the like and she
Speaker 1: was like a guidance counselor. She was like all did
Speaker 1: all these things, and she was like we would always jam,
Speaker 1: like we would always like eat lunch together. And I
Speaker 1: remember she like loved Adam Lambert. She was like obsessed
Speaker 1: and she was like a hardcore Republican. Yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: like it's people are out there doing their things.
Speaker 6: But also when we were growing up Republican but also Republicans.
Speaker 6: The country was less, it was more open to like
Speaker 6: your personal interpretation, and with some people it was just
Speaker 6: more fiscal.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I don't know what it was, I actually,
Speaker 1: but I remember it took me back even then. And
Speaker 1: now it's like those people that were you know, you
Speaker 1: knew like way back when that were Republicans, like you
Speaker 1: kind of wonder like where they're falling now.
Speaker 6: I just ran into a friend who is Mormon, still Mormon,
Speaker 6: and I go and we talked about church and I
Speaker 6: didn't even ask her about political stuff. I went, oh,
Speaker 6: are you still going to church? She goes, yep, I
Speaker 6: go to church every Sunday and I vote for whoever
Speaker 6: I want.
Speaker 1: Okay, and means probably a good thing. That she meant yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: lovely Bowe Young Jev. I don't think so, honey. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do something.
Speaker 3: And I just confirmed it by searching through the list
Speaker 3: of the iconic four hundred And also there was another emission.
Speaker 1: Okayody, we're making things right. This is Bowen Yang's. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey.
Speaker 3: Us for not including Whitney Houston in the iconic I
Speaker 3: cannot believe that we, as gay music loving men, did
Speaker 3: not acknowledge the template formed with Whitney Houston, someone who
Speaker 3: went through tremendous personal challenges to give us some of
Speaker 3: the most celebrated in music in the last forty years,
Speaker 3: let's say fifty years. I'm not going to make it
Speaker 3: time bound, but I can't believe that we would do
Speaker 3: we would do that. You all have permission to walk
Speaker 3: up to us in a public setting and chastise brates
Speaker 3: hit us. There's there are no boundaries. We left out
Speaker 3: Whitney Houston and Barbara streisand four hundred.
Speaker 1: I'm here to apologize. This is I mean, it's not
Speaker 1: an apologize. If it's an apologized that we left out
Speaker 1: Whitney Houston five, I apologize that we offended you, that
Speaker 1: we disappointed the community and sing for them. I have
Speaker 1: not seen her in concert like you've seen Barbara. That
Speaker 1: is one minute. Do you want to sing something from
Speaker 1: Whitney for you?
Speaker 4: Any boys went out to eat, then they went out,
Speaker 4: but you came home around me.
Speaker 1: Then for cheap Yeah, because only.
Speaker 4: I found it a credit card receipts.
Speaker 8: It's not right, but it's okay. I'm gonna make it
Speaker 8: any way, do bag. Don't you going back to me?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think we got it across. We got it across.
Speaker 1: Glasses off. Thank you from a vocalist. This means everything.
Speaker 1: Oh it was great. Did you come prepared today with
Speaker 1: I don't think so money. All right, here we go,
Speaker 1: get ready. This is Rachel Blooms. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Her time starts now.
Speaker 6: I don't think so, honey. I'm talking to you rowdy
Speaker 6: fourteen year old boys and children's parks. I don't think
Speaker 6: so honey. When you're standing on the swing that my
Speaker 6: daughter's waiting to sit on and actually use the swing properly,
Speaker 6: and you're rattling the swing, that's not my problem. I
Speaker 6: don't think so honey. You are not meant to go
Speaker 6: on these jungle gyms and step on my child's hand.
Speaker 6: I don't think so honey.
Speaker 1: Here's thing.
Speaker 6: If this were hundreds of years ago, you'd already be
Speaker 6: a father, you'd already be you'd already.
Speaker 1: Be a man.
Speaker 6: Go home and be a man, Go home and june
Speaker 6: your homework. Honey, Parks are not for you anymore. I
Speaker 6: don't think so, honey, if you want to go and
Speaker 6: build a park for post pubescent boys or should I
Speaker 6: say men, that's your business. But my child wants to
Speaker 6: go on the slide, and you are sticking it up
Speaker 6: with your teenage boh, and you're scaring her. You're stomping
Speaker 6: with your friends and you're laughing, and I can just
Speaker 6: tell that you're probably gonna smoke. I don't think, so, honey,
Speaker 6: can do nothing. Second step on my children's hands. And
Speaker 6: that's what I just keep I just feel like there
Speaker 6: are a lot of hands getting stepped on. I don't
Speaker 6: think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Yes, that was really important, Rachel, and I have to
Speaker 1: say it. So I have to confront myself here because
Speaker 1: last week I took my parents to like a vacation
Speaker 1: spot and there was there was a pool with a slide,
Speaker 1: and I said to myself, Oh, fun a slide, and
Speaker 1: then it's said on there you must be under fourteen
Speaker 1: to do the slide, and I remember my first instinct
Speaker 1: was to be like, well, this is the ageist and
Speaker 1: I want to do the slide. And then I was like, Matt,
Speaker 1: you are thirty four. You did the slide so many
Speaker 1: times and a time that it was appropriate for you.
Speaker 1: It's just not appropriate for you to do this slide.
Speaker 1: This slide slides in general. You can go you can
Speaker 1: go to any water park and do the slide. Seriously, yeah,
Speaker 1: this slide, It's okay. Let the kids play on the slide.
Speaker 6: Here's what I would argue that you could have done
Speaker 6: the slide, because here's what my I think, so honey
Speaker 6: was about. I actually have no problem with middle schoolers
Speaker 6: or like high schoolers coming to a park and using
Speaker 6: things properly, in an organized, non rowdy way. If you're
Speaker 6: fifteen or sixteen and you want to actually go on
Speaker 6: the swings for an appropriate amount of time, I get it.
Speaker 6: I do that too. It's the thing where they stand
Speaker 6: on the swing and they say the fucking thing and
Speaker 6: then they're running around and like they're not they're not
Speaker 6: using the equipment right properly. You being on that slide
Speaker 6: is fine with me.
Speaker 1: Is there the resort? Totally? Do you feel compelled to
Speaker 1: speak to these teenagers?
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna get fucking Karen.
Speaker 1: No totally.
Speaker 6: And I was gonna ask, like, no, I just I
Speaker 6: just give them withering glances, and you know what, they
Speaker 6: don't notice, nor do they and you know, also doesn't
Speaker 6: seem to notice my daughter. She doesn't care. I'm the
Speaker 6: only person caring.
Speaker 1: That's important. You don't want her hand to stomped on.
Speaker 6: It happened when she was young. I don't think she remembers,
Speaker 6: but like.
Speaker 1: But like, God, what I would struggle with as a
Speaker 1: parent is be like, I want to yell at these other.
Speaker 6: Kids, but yeah, it's it's hard.
Speaker 1: God, I mean, other kids are fucking I also.
Speaker 6: Don't want to get made fun of my middle schoolers. Again,
Speaker 6: I already went through that in middle school. I'm a
Speaker 6: little afraid of the withering things they'll say to me.
Speaker 6: If I'm like, excuse me, my child wants to use
Speaker 6: the wings.
Speaker 1: We'll talk about no boundaries. They'll just be like, shut up,
Speaker 1: fucking bitch.
Speaker 6: Like they'll just and then and then I start crying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you really just felt you could say that
Speaker 1: and just did exactly exactly.
Speaker 6: I don't want to have someone yell at me, because.
Speaker 1: That's the thing about middle school boys is that they'll
Speaker 1: just say any really to harm you, whereas like middle
Speaker 1: school girls will like they're starting to develop like passive
Speaker 1: aggressiveness and like social bullying. But middle school boys will
Speaker 1: just be like verbally, but.
Speaker 6: Middle school girls are more like a guy the swing
Speaker 6: and then like they'll be talking to each other and
Speaker 6: like looking away and you know they're being mean, but
Speaker 6: they still got off the swing.
Speaker 1: It's psychological as opposed to like visceral. Yeah, here's I
Speaker 1: don't know that those are binary, but okay, what you're saying,
Speaker 1: it's non binary. This is unlike a woman is serving me.
Speaker 3: How do you feel about the trope of let's say
Speaker 3: it's a grounded comedy drama, ye, adults on a swing
Speaker 3: at night for like a really close, intimate sort of like,
Speaker 3: I think it's fine.
Speaker 6: I think I think it's if see in real life,
Speaker 6: it's very sweet. So many parts aren't open at night, right,
Speaker 6: that's actually the problem is that the plot parks are closed.
Speaker 3: I kind of I don't think I mnded in movies either.
Speaker 3: If I see it in real life, then I go,
Speaker 3: why are those two grown ass people sitting on the swing?
Speaker 1: I go sex offender, and then I start calling the
Speaker 1: police because I'm Karen, and I get I get.
Speaker 9: That that's the right way to If I see adults
Speaker 9: at night on a playground, I go sex offender and
Speaker 9: I get my phone down, I go nine one one.
Speaker 1: My girls call me Karen. I go, yes, Kamala, this
Speaker 1: is Matt. I need you down here. Thank you for
Speaker 1: your service, and thank you. Then blue Line Rachel Bloom
Speaker 1: for com I can't believe this is only your second
Speaker 1: time in seven and a half years. We can't take
Speaker 1: this song a break again.
Speaker 6: Have me on every week.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I'll just sit here.
Speaker 6: I don't even need to say anything.
Speaker 1: I'll just I'll well, you could, that would be helpful.
Speaker 6: Tend to be like your backup pianist with no pianos.
Speaker 1: Yeah you're but Rachel shows up and the conversation flows.
Speaker 1: This is late death. Let me do my special now
Speaker 1: on Netflix and give it a.
Speaker 6: Double thumbs up because that helps the algorithm.
Speaker 1: Yes, algorithm, isn't.
Speaker 6: That weird as opposed to a single thumbs up, just
Speaker 6: any sort of reaction to it. But the double thumbs up,
Speaker 6: I mean single thumbs up is also good. But how
Speaker 6: often do you do that on Netflix?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 5: I never do.
Speaker 1: I just did. I just started doing it.
Speaker 6: I did it for a show about Mermaids that my
Speaker 6: daughter liked, because I'm like, I gotta start Yeah, paying
Speaker 6: it forward.
Speaker 1: We got to move out of Gabby's dollhouse.
Speaker 6: So there's this show. It's called like Mermaid Accounty is
Speaker 6: a whole thing. They have cornered. Netflix has figured out
Speaker 6: the Little Girl brain scared. That sounds creepy, but it's not.
Speaker 1: If you say so, you know the Tiger is that Netflix?
Speaker 6: No, that's it's PBSBS.
Speaker 1: Oh, oh, that's that's the one to watch.
Speaker 6: PBS is great.
Speaker 1: We'd love PBS. And with that thought we end every
Speaker 1: episode of the song. It's not right, but it's okay.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make it anyway.
Speaker 10: Who's behind you? I'd rather be lowe man, you're looking
Speaker 10: a fool.
Speaker 1: Bye.
Speaker 3: Last Culture Racist is the production by Will Ferrell's Big
Speaker 3: Money Players and then My Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Podcasts, created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
Speaker 1: Executive produced by Anna Hasnier and Hans Soni.
Speaker 3: Produced by Beck Ramos, edited mixed by Doug Bamiy Andnikla
Speaker 3: Board and our music.
Speaker 1: Is by Henrik Mirsky. Hey everybody, it's me Matt Rogers,
Speaker 1: letting you know. Tickets are on sale now to see
Speaker 1: me on tour, The Prince of Christmas Tour. That is,
Speaker 1: I'm doing my whole album Have You Heard Of Christmas?
Speaker 1: Plus a lot more with the whole band all throughout December.
Speaker 1: Go to www dot mattrogersofficial dot com to see me
Speaker 1: in a city near you.