Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everybody,
Speaker 1: welcome to the I Choose Me Podcast. So this is
Speaker 1: a very difficult time that we are all going through.
Speaker 1: We are all experiencing this great loss of our friend
Speaker 1: Shannon Doherty. Because I know that we're all feeling this sadness,
Speaker 1: this happiness. Grief is just so unique to each one
Speaker 1: of us, plays out differently for everybody, and I just
Speaker 1: wanted to acknowledge this huge, huge loss. I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: my best friend, Adele, our therapist, come in, and it
Speaker 1: helped me to sort of process my feelings and talk
Speaker 1: about grief with us in hopes that this will help
Speaker 1: you guys, if you're feeling the same as I am,
Speaker 1: which I'm pretty sure you are. Hi, Adele, thank you.
Speaker 2: Of course, I have not seen you or talked to
Speaker 2: you other than by text since we heard the news
Speaker 2: about Shannon, and I'm honored and glad that you wanted
Speaker 2: to include me in this conversation. And I'm I'm glad
Speaker 2: you want to be of service to your nine O,
Speaker 2: two and o family that's grieving, and from what I
Speaker 2: can tell by the news cycle, it's more than just
Speaker 2: your nine oh two and O family grieving.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a big family. The whole world definitely feels
Speaker 1: the loss. I think, you know, whether you are a
Speaker 1: fan of the show or one of her other shows,
Speaker 1: or if you were a fan of the way she
Speaker 1: was addressing her battle publicly and helping a lot of
Speaker 1: people through their own struggles. You know, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of people that really looked up to Shannon, and I
Speaker 1: was one of them.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, it's been about five days, so maybe we
Speaker 2: start with you just have you what how did you
Speaker 2: find out?
Speaker 1: I was on a trip with my husband. We had
Speaker 1: planned a get away to sort of be able to
Speaker 1: spend time together, and I found out while we were away,
Speaker 1: So that definitely sort of changed the tone of that
Speaker 1: trip entirely. And since it happened while I was out
Speaker 1: of town, it didn't feel real somehow. And there's no
Speaker 1: way I would open my Instagram or do any kind
Speaker 1: of looking because it's you know, just kind of everywhere
Speaker 1: and it's just too much. My phone was blowing up
Speaker 1: with like people sending their condolences and which you know,
Speaker 1: of course that is so kind, but it just kept hitting, hitting, hitting,
Speaker 1: And so when I got back to La. When we
Speaker 1: got home, I just wanted to stay home, like I
Speaker 1: just don't want to go anywhere right now. That kind
Speaker 1: of feeling of just needing to like crawl in a
Speaker 1: hole and process this without eyes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense. And you know you're describing exactly
Speaker 2: what kind of happens when somebody learns that someone they
Speaker 2: love and.
Speaker 3: Care about dies.
Speaker 2: It's a shock, right, That's kind of the first thing
Speaker 2: that happens, is, yeah, belief and shock.
Speaker 1: Well it's crazy because we all knew she was sick.
Speaker 1: The whole world knew that, you know, And and I
Speaker 1: don't know why, but I just thought she would get better.
Speaker 1: I thought she would kick it. She's, you know, the
Speaker 1: strongest woman around. And I just never thought that this
Speaker 1: would happen. And I had listened to some of her
Speaker 1: podcasts from the previous week, and I knew she was
Speaker 1: kind of undergoing this new chapter in her battle with cancer,
Speaker 1: more chemotherapy, and I could tell she was feeling nervous,
Speaker 1: but I also saw glimmer of hope in her, and
Speaker 1: that just reassured me that everything was going to be okay.
Speaker 1: If she was hopeful, then I could be hopeful too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think that's what she was putting
Speaker 2: out in the world, and I think everybody that was
Speaker 2: rooting for her was paying close attention. But I think
Speaker 2: we all felt like, oh, cancer is no match for her,
Speaker 2: Like she just wanted.
Speaker 3: To live, and she made that very clear.
Speaker 2: Over and over again, and so I was totally shocked
Speaker 2: when I heard the news. She felt so alive the
Speaker 2: last several weeks with her podcast and everything that I
Speaker 2: just thought. It just was such a shock, And of
Speaker 2: course I thought about you immediately. I was one of
Speaker 2: the people that blew up your phone at seven am,
Speaker 2: hoping I wasn't the first person.
Speaker 1: You were, and you were the first person I didn't
Speaker 1: see it. Actually, Dave was having his coffee in bed
Speaker 1: and he I came out from the bathroom and he said,
Speaker 1: I need to tell you something. And instantly when he
Speaker 1: says that, I panic just instinctually, and I thought he
Speaker 1: was going to say something about, you know, my dog
Speaker 1: who's elderly, or something like from our family. And then
Speaker 1: he told me that this happened, and I was like, like,
Speaker 1: I literally felt like someone punched me in the stomach.
Speaker 2: I think I feel so protective of you that you know,
Speaker 2: and I'm an early bird. When I saw it, I thought,
Speaker 2: I got to get to Jenny and make sure she's protected.
Speaker 2: And I'm so glad you were with Dave. I'm sure
Speaker 2: it was dizzying to be out of the country.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was very felt, very weird. I don't know
Speaker 1: how to explain it, and then just flying back into
Speaker 1: La and kind of coming to terms that it was real.
Speaker 1: It was really hard.
Speaker 2: Have you spoken with any of your other nine oh
Speaker 2: two one zero co stars.
Speaker 3: Are you guys.
Speaker 2: Supporting each other and reaching out and if you want
Speaker 2: to share anything.
Speaker 1: About that, Yeah, I mean we've talked about it that
Speaker 1: we have a group chat. Jason of course was the
Speaker 1: first one to reach out to everybody and just you know,
Speaker 1: say I love you guys, and this is insane and
Speaker 1: no more, no more loss, Like this is crazy that
Speaker 1: that I think that's one of the hardest parts for
Speaker 1: me is that it's it's now two three. It's two
Speaker 1: people from our original cast, you know, and of course
Speaker 1: Joey Tada and Paul Wagner and Jessica Klein other people
Speaker 1: have passed away also, But this just was like, you know,
Speaker 1: when you have like a group shot and if you
Speaker 1: can imagine that image of that person in the group
Speaker 1: shot fading away, Yeah, and two like disappear Like it's
Speaker 1: just I can't I can't really wrap my head around it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm sure it brought all the feelings back
Speaker 2: about Luke. I know that was an incredibly difficult loss
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 3: I was with you that day, as was Dave.
Speaker 2: And watching that loss was Yeah, I'm sure brought it
Speaker 2: all flooding back.
Speaker 1: Definitely. I never I chose to never speak publicly very
Speaker 1: much at all about Luke's passing. Didn't, you know, put
Speaker 1: up a post or anything. I just I didn't know
Speaker 1: how to handle that and I didn't feel compelled to
Speaker 1: let my feelings out there. This one felt, I don't know,
Speaker 1: felt different but the same. So yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: feel like when grief comes knocking at your door, death
Speaker 1: comes knocking at your door causing grief, Like it's the
Speaker 1: same feeling grief, just however you feel grief individually, it's
Speaker 1: the same feeling. So yeah, it does take you right
Speaker 1: back to that any previous pain or encounter you've had
Speaker 1: with it, just like it was yesterday.
Speaker 2: So it has familiar elements to it that any other
Speaker 2: grief that you've gone through or any other loss that
Speaker 2: you've had, you're right back there feeling that loss too.
Speaker 1: Is that normal? Is that normal to have that same
Speaker 1: feeling about different people?
Speaker 2: Of course, because it is a very like you said
Speaker 2: at the very beginning, it's so unique to each individual
Speaker 2: and wherever you feel it in your body, right, and
Speaker 2: whatever thoughts you have around losing somebody or something that
Speaker 2: you love, whether it's a person, an animal, job, a partnership,
Speaker 2: lives in your body in the same place.
Speaker 3: So you're right back there.
Speaker 2: And if you kind of kept it to yourself or
Speaker 2: locked it away or didn't fully grieve, it's an open
Speaker 2: wound again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think I've ever fully grieved any loss
Speaker 1: that I've had, So it's like opening up a nasty
Speaker 1: box of feelings.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And you know, a lot of grief experts think that
Speaker 2: the best thing you can do with grief, as painful
Speaker 2: and sorrowful as it is, is to feel it fully right,
Speaker 2: And maybe the gift that Shannon's passing can give you,
Speaker 2: especially because she's kind of known for this too, is
Speaker 2: to really feel the sorrow and lean into it and
Speaker 2: grieve it. Because I know you and I know you
Speaker 2: lock things away and you only allow for as much
Speaker 2: as you think you can allow. But I also know
Speaker 2: as you've evolved and grown, I know you can allow more.
Speaker 2: And maybe this is the time where you let some
Speaker 2: of those other losses that are kind of locked away
Speaker 2: or you know, trapped in your body, that you let
Speaker 2: it go. You don't just cry for Shannon, but you
Speaker 2: cry for your dad and Luke, and I'm you know,
Speaker 2: thinking of other people, Lynn and many dogs that you've lost,
Speaker 2: and you know you've had a lot of You've had
Speaker 2: a lot of loss.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean some people haven't experienced loss yet. We
Speaker 1: all will. But like like a real loss like your
Speaker 1: dad or your friend or your mom or something like
Speaker 1: that kind of grief or a child, that kind of grief,
Speaker 1: you cannot understand it even the slightest until you've been
Speaker 1: through it. Right, Like my husband Dave's never lost anybody,
Speaker 1: He's never experienced death. So in a way it's kind
Speaker 1: of hard because he tries his best, of course, to
Speaker 1: like come for me and be there for me, but
Speaker 1: I don't think he fully grasps the depth of it
Speaker 1: and just the way it works, like it'll just come
Speaker 1: up out of nowhere. In the middle of a dinner bite,
Speaker 1: like you never know when you're just gonna basically lose
Speaker 1: it and be sad.
Speaker 2: Right. It ebbs and flows, It comes in waves. It
Speaker 2: is not linear at all. It catches you by surprise,
Speaker 2: you know, and you know you'll be giving Dave a
Speaker 2: gift showing him what it looks like when it comes
Speaker 2: for him.
Speaker 3: Right, and your kids.
Speaker 2: We always talk about modeling when we get together, you know,
Speaker 2: and do this podcast, like what are you modeling for people?
Speaker 2: But any way that you can sort of let the
Speaker 2: sorrow in and lean into it, they say that that
Speaker 2: also allows you to feel the greatest joy too, because
Speaker 2: if you're feeling two sides of the same coin and
Speaker 2: you're allowing for both, it can be a continuum or whatever,
Speaker 2: or that you you're also giving yourself a gift of
Speaker 2: feeling deeply on both sides of the continuum and you
Speaker 2: can handle it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I have learned more about just letting feelings pass,
Speaker 1: you know, and honoring them and reminding myself when I
Speaker 1: am feeling any kind of certain way that it's just
Speaker 1: a feeling and it will pass. And I you know,
Speaker 1: I talk to my little self inside and I say
Speaker 1: it's okay. You know I'm here for you. You got this,
Speaker 1: You're gonna be okay. I know it hurts right now,
Speaker 1: but it's going to get better. I know that. When
Speaker 1: my dad passed away, people would say to me, time
Speaker 1: will heal honey, time will fix it, and I was like,
Speaker 1: f you. You know, time will never make this feel better. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it really made me mad when people would say that.
Speaker 1: And I realize, of course now I don't even know
Speaker 1: how many years later, twelve years later from my dad's passing,
Speaker 1: that it does dissipate, like the emotions that raw feelings
Speaker 1: of emotions that you go through right away, and that
Speaker 1: I'm still going through, and I know so many people
Speaker 1: are still going through. They do dissipate. And it's not
Speaker 1: it's not that you're forgetting that person or you're like
Speaker 1: moved on to something else, because it does live in
Speaker 1: you forever. It's just that you have find found some
Speaker 1: way to comfort yourself through it and accept it and
Speaker 1: honor it and move forward with your life because that's
Speaker 1: what you have to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I heard I heard a beautiful description the other day
Speaker 2: in a podcast, and I wish I could give credit,
Speaker 2: but I don't remember who said it, but that grief
Speaker 2: is like a heavy stone in your pocket and.
Speaker 3: You're very aware of it.
Speaker 2: You feel that heavy stone and it weighs you down,
Speaker 2: and you feel it every day. And as time goes
Speaker 2: on and you get stronger, the stone gets lighter. Right,
Speaker 2: So you don't feel it as often, it's not as
Speaker 2: ever present, but it's always in your pocket. You never
Speaker 2: forget about it. But your strength and courage and kind
Speaker 2: of integration of the loss allows for the stone and
Speaker 2: the heaviness and weight of it to get lighter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel that. I know that from dealing with
Speaker 1: it so many times. Yeah, you think in the moment
Speaker 1: you're going to break, you know. And I know with Shannon,
Speaker 1: I was shocked, and then I was pissed at myself
Speaker 1: for being shocked.
Speaker 3: I was like so mad, you know.
Speaker 1: I was bargaining and saying why her, Like why not me?
Speaker 1: And I know I don't know anything actually, but there
Speaker 1: were so many feelings. I was angry, angry at her circumstances,
Speaker 1: at cancer, at the world for taking you know, her
Speaker 1: away from her mom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and.
Speaker 1: Her family and her dog. She loved Bowie so much.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, I don't want to cry.
Speaker 3: And just the world.
Speaker 1: Like all of our nine O two one oh family,
Speaker 1: there's been this crazy division in some of the fans
Speaker 1: that they were either team Kelly or they were team Brenda.
Speaker 1: And I don't think that either Shannon or I ever
Speaker 1: wanted that, So I you know, even though if you
Speaker 1: were team Brenda or whatever, I know you're hurting just
Speaker 1: the same everybody is hurting, and there's just you know,
Speaker 1: it's a time when we can all come together and
Speaker 1: process this all with each other. So that is my hope.
Speaker 2: And maybe in that once and for all in that
Speaker 2: you know, binary choice or that divisiveness, because you and
Speaker 2: Shannon never wanted that, and people get so wrapped up
Speaker 2: in TV shows and I understand, but to think that
Speaker 2: it's it was so black and white, or that they
Speaker 2: understand the story or the friendship between you and Shannon
Speaker 2: and what worked and what was complicated and the love
Speaker 2: that was there and the experiences that you and Shannon
Speaker 2: had are nobody else's but your own. So you know,
Speaker 2: I would just say, let's hope that everybody can kind
Speaker 2: of release that once and for all. I wanted to
Speaker 2: bring something up that you, I mean, you basically talked
Speaker 2: about you cycled through the Elizabeth Koobler Ross stages of
Speaker 2: grief in a matter of moments, right, you know that denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance,
Speaker 2: and they come and go again like quickly over time,
Speaker 2: and all of it is okay. Because when I heard
Speaker 2: you say you were mad at yourself for I think
Speaker 2: being angry, I just want to say to you two.
Speaker 3: Things in grief.
Speaker 2: The most important thing that I can impart to you
Speaker 2: and to people listening, everything is okay in grief, meaning
Speaker 2: whatever it looks like for you, whatever it looks like
Speaker 2: for anybody that's listening, all is okay. Shutting down irritability, anger,
Speaker 2: if you feel guilty, that's a really common thing, and
Speaker 2: that you have to be the most important thing is
Speaker 2: you have to be gentle on yourself. We do so
Speaker 2: much self recrimination, we do so much beating ourselves up,
Speaker 2: and so that's the second thing, is gentle on yourself
Speaker 2: except all and also not just for you, but anybody
Speaker 2: else that's grieving, how they do it is also okay.
Speaker 2: So you give space for yourself and others, and gentleness
Speaker 2: and grace.
Speaker 3: For yourself and.
Speaker 2: Others, because all is okay during grief. Any kind of behavior,
Speaker 2: acting out, shutting down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think that that's important. I hope everybody
Speaker 1: really hears that, that you're grieving, Like, even if you
Speaker 1: weren't friends with Shannon, or you know, weren't in my
Speaker 1: position or any of our positions, you her and it's
Speaker 1: a loss for anybody who loved any part of her.
Speaker 1: So I hope that people really hear that and are
Speaker 1: gentle on themselves and honor their grief, because, like you're saying,
Speaker 1: that's the only way to get through it. You can't
Speaker 1: go around it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when talking about Shannon, like, what do you think, so,
Speaker 2: I know you've been thinking about her a lot. What
Speaker 2: do you think you'll remember most about her?
Speaker 1: I will remember the respect that I have for her,
Speaker 1: always had for her, in her willingness to voice her
Speaker 1: opinions on things, stand up for people that needed to
Speaker 1: be stood up for that couldn't do them do it themselves.
Speaker 1: I will admire that's so her bravery.
Speaker 3: And she was.
Speaker 1: One of the most generous people I know. She was
Speaker 1: really kind and generous and strong, and sometimes her strength
Speaker 1: got in her way and didn't look the way other
Speaker 1: people wanted it to look. But she didn't care she
Speaker 1: was strong anyway, because I think she had to be.
Speaker 1: I know, we have very similar upbringings and stories about
Speaker 1: our dads and are just deep, deep connections with our fathers.
Speaker 1: And then how her dad and my dad both got
Speaker 1: sick when we were young and we did everything in
Speaker 1: our power to keep them alive as long as possible,
Speaker 1: and that was a lot of pressure and wait to
Speaker 1: put on our shoulders at you know, as teenagers basically yeah,
Speaker 1: and so we both shared that, I want to say
Speaker 1: burden because it was very difficult, and I was thinking, like,
Speaker 1: you know, Shannon was a fighter. She was always a fighter,
Speaker 1: though it wasn't just because of one thing or or
Speaker 1: things that weren't significant. She fought four things that mattered
Speaker 1: to her and people that mattered to her. And I
Speaker 1: loved laughing with Shannon, like we could have a good
Speaker 1: session of just like uncontrollable laughing. And she was funny.
Speaker 1: And I will probably miss the most just hearing her
Speaker 1: say my name because she she always said Ginny it
Speaker 1: like from the South, Yeah, And I never corrected her.
Speaker 1: It's just the way she said it, and I loved it.
Speaker 2: Do you have a favorite memory or story with her,
Speaker 2: like one of your favorite funny times.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we could get really mischievous together. Her
Speaker 1: I very very strong independent girls and women. I loved
Speaker 1: when we were being mischievous or honery or just a
Speaker 1: little devilish, like, you know, not to the point of
Speaker 1: bad things happening, but just for a little fun. And
Speaker 1: one of the last like main memories I have is
Speaker 1: going several years back now, was going to Vegas to
Speaker 1: see Ian, our friend Ian in Chippendale's right. So we
Speaker 1: flew together to see him, and we supported him, and
Speaker 1: we just laughed so hard, and she thought it was
Speaker 1: so funny when they pulled me up on stage and
Speaker 1: you know, did a public lap dance. So we had
Speaker 1: a really great time on that trip. Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: also keep like remembering the last word that she said
Speaker 1: to me. It was just an example of even though
Speaker 1: our relationship was complicated at times, or was convoluted at
Speaker 1: times by outside forces that just sort of crept in
Speaker 1: for us both, we still loved each other. And it
Speaker 1: was after our last time together at maybe nineties gone. Anyway,
Speaker 1: she had to get right back to la and she
Speaker 1: was taking her i think her friend's private plane, and
Speaker 1: she had offered everybody that need to get back to
Speaker 1: La or even Jason, who had to go to Nashville,
Speaker 1: get on the plane and we can all go together.
Speaker 1: And no one asked me, and I was feeling a
Speaker 1: little like ouch just from being not asked, or I
Speaker 1: don't know why. I didn't even have to go back
Speaker 1: to LA, I had to go to the opposite direction
Speaker 1: to New York. But she came up to me right
Speaker 1: before they left, and she was like, we're going on
Speaker 1: this plane. You're welcome to come with us, Jinny, and
Speaker 1: I can see her saying it, and that just keeps
Speaker 1: playing over and over in my mind.
Speaker 3: Her generosity. I hear that a lot.
Speaker 2: Something that's so remarkable to me is the way you
Speaker 2: talk about her and the way you describe her. And
Speaker 2: I met her but way back in the day when
Speaker 2: you were doing one two one O, Like I was
Speaker 2: there on set with you guys, but I hadn't seen
Speaker 2: her in all the decades ensuing decades. But the way
Speaker 2: you talk about her and describe her is so similar
Speaker 2: to who you are in so many ways, fighter, strong,
Speaker 2: standing up for people, mischievous and funny, like there are
Speaker 2: so many similarities.
Speaker 3: And the way that you grew up with your dad's.
Speaker 2: And I can see why you bonded, but it just
Speaker 2: hit me for the first time in all these decades,
Speaker 2: how actually similar you are.
Speaker 1: That's true, it really is. We're both strong, independent, not
Speaker 1: necessarily by our own decisions. Yeah, and are both aries,
Speaker 1: you know, and that's a whole thing in itself.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't think anybody ever realized how similar
Speaker 1: we actually were. And I think that people that just
Speaker 1: met Shannon, you know, quickly or you know, they didn't
Speaker 1: get to know her the way that I had the
Speaker 1: privilege of getting to know her and the rest of
Speaker 1: the cast to get to know her was to love her. Yeah, definitely,
Speaker 1: it's been a tough week. I know that it'll feel
Speaker 1: better over time. I encourage everybody to believe me on that.
Speaker 1: It's just also really hard when you know, and this
Speaker 1: was with Luke too, Like when someone famous dies, you're
Speaker 1: there's just so many reminders, visual reminders, whether it's on
Speaker 1: your feed or on the news, or on your for
Speaker 1: you page or old cast photos like the you know,
Speaker 1: when it's really really hard to sign cast photos and
Speaker 1: see Luke not there, and now to have to sign
Speaker 1: those photos without Shannon there, it's just like inconceivable. That's
Speaker 1: the part that's like I don't want to believe it.
Speaker 1: Like and I there are times when I still refuse
Speaker 1: to believe that Luke is gone.
Speaker 2: Well, I think he's here right now in that light
Speaker 2: that's shining behind you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's weird. There's a light shining right on my
Speaker 1: head like a ray.
Speaker 2: I know he's with you a lot.
Speaker 1: He is with me a lot. And you know, he
Speaker 1: was the first person I thought of when I heard
Speaker 1: the news, and I thought how happy he was going
Speaker 1: to be to be.
Speaker 3: With her again.
Speaker 1: Like whatever your beliefs are about heaven and hell and
Speaker 1: transitioning or spirits all the things, like whatever it is
Speaker 1: for me personally, I feel the spirits of the people
Speaker 1: that I love the most if they die or crossover
Speaker 1: or whatever you want to call it, I feel them
Speaker 1: so much. And I turned to Luke all the time
Speaker 1: for help, you know, like in dealing with certain things
Speaker 1: or making decisions. I asked him, and I just I
Speaker 1: get pretty strong answers from him because he was very
Speaker 1: opinionated on the things that I had going on in
Speaker 1: my life. But I just know he it's gonna sound
Speaker 1: very weird, but he definitely was there to catch her,
Speaker 1: and I knew he would be, but I know he was.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And he was like that for you in your
Speaker 3: life too.
Speaker 2: He was somebody that you turned to and you know,
Speaker 2: took his consult and wanted his opinion on things, and
Speaker 2: he had no problem giving them to And so I
Speaker 2: think it's a beautiful example that you're sharing that you
Speaker 2: still get that even though he's not here physically anymore,
Speaker 2: you absolutely still get that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't believe it. I didn't believe it until
Speaker 1: I believed it, like.
Speaker 3: I want.
Speaker 1: For a long time, I called myself agnostic, like I
Speaker 1: didn't believe in anything. I didn't know, I didn't have
Speaker 1: any faith, and I was okay with that. I survived
Speaker 1: a long time without it. And now they've gotten older,
Speaker 1: you know, you look at things like that, and I
Speaker 1: just started believing having faith in that. I call them
Speaker 1: my angels, my spirits, my loved ones that I have
Speaker 1: passed away. I still feel them with me and I
Speaker 1: can literally this is the weirdest thing too, Like in
Speaker 1: a way, when Luke was alive or Shannon was alive,
Speaker 1: I felt like that relationship was diluted because it was
Speaker 1: shared by so many. I think I sometimes felt like
Speaker 1: I didn't have as much of their attention or time
Speaker 1: or as close a relationship as I wanted. But I
Speaker 1: found with Luke and with my Dad that I have
Speaker 1: them all the time now, Like I'm closer Luke than
Speaker 1: I ever was, and I'm closer to my Dad than
Speaker 1: I ever was, because they're always with me and I
Speaker 1: can always turn to them and ask them. And I
Speaker 1: hope that people can can feel that way.
Speaker 3: With Shannon, that's really hopeful.
Speaker 2: I want to say something to you and to everyone
Speaker 2: who's listening, which is grief isn't just one thing. It
Speaker 2: is a process, okay, and again, let it come and
Speaker 2: go as it does. And if you know you or
Speaker 2: anybody that's listening needs extra support, let's make sure to
Speaker 2: leave some resources.
Speaker 3: Yes, let's do that.
Speaker 1: We'll leave resources in the show notes. And well, if
Speaker 1: anybody needs help getting through this or dealing with this
Speaker 1: grief or any grief, reach out to a professional, because
Speaker 1: it really does sort of smooth the rough edges of
Speaker 1: the whole experience, and it gives you, like some outside
Speaker 1: perspective and some insight that you don't have when you're
Speaker 1: feeling all these intense feelings so I hope that people
Speaker 1: will check out those resources that we're going to leave
Speaker 1: for you in the show notes. And I guess you
Speaker 1: know it is what it is like. You can't change it,
Speaker 1: even though you want to. You have to accept it
Speaker 1: and move forward.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't force it. I'm so glad you wanted to
Speaker 2: be of service because this was a hard thing to do.
Speaker 2: I'm glad you wanted to do it for fans of
Speaker 2: the show, other people who are grieving. I'm really touched
Speaker 2: that you asked me to.
Speaker 3: Do this with you always, thank you. I love you
Speaker 3: so much. Yeah, thanks, thanks for doing.
Speaker 1: This, Thank you, and thanks everybody for being here with
Speaker 1: me today. And I will be back soon. Bye bye.