1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,480 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stefan 2 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: Never Told You production of iHeartRadio. And this is our 3 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: first full ish episode recording of twenty twenty four. It's 4 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:29,319 Speaker 1: a Monday mini but previously we've just done classics. So yes, yes, yes, 5 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: And it's a bit of a I don't know how 6 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:35,919 Speaker 1: to say downer, but I guess kind of a complainery 7 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,840 Speaker 1: Happy New Year, that's actually what we're kind of talking about. Okay, Yes, 8 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,479 Speaker 1: So it does have a content warning. It's we're not 9 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 1: going to go into any of these two and death, 10 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 1: but just so you're aware, we are going to be 11 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: talking about depression, a little bit about disordered eating, a 12 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: very minor mention of domestic violence. You can see our 13 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: past episodes we've done on sexist New Year's traditions and 14 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: on solutions. There's a bunch of stuff related to that 15 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:05,319 Speaker 1: we've done as well. But I was thinking about this. 16 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: I have a bit of the New Year's blues, which 17 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: turns out is a thing, and I was wondering if 18 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,960 Speaker 1: there was anything I could look into on that and 19 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: like why would this be the case? And I found 20 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 1: a couple of things I wanted to touch on about 21 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: New Year's even then about New Year's and then just 22 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,640 Speaker 1: like a new year in general, and how it relates 23 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 1: to kind of this this blues if you experience it 24 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: and women and so I will say that if you 25 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 1: celebrate and enjoy New Year's safely and without causing harms 26 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: to o, there's more power to you. I've had like 27 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: many great New Year celebrations with friends in the past. 28 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: I've gone to the big events, I've gone to the 29 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: smaller events. I've done the whole thing. But I've found 30 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: that I usually end the night really upset, like crying. 31 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: So I am sick, upset. And there are a couple 32 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: of reasons why this is that I found and we'll 33 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: talk about them. And I know that this feels kind 34 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,799 Speaker 1: of late, like I should have done this episode sooner maybe, 35 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 1: but I'm still kind of working through it. I have 36 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: found that I'm having kind of panic attacks, and I 37 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 1: had them last year, but I thought it was last 38 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: of us related. Remember that, Remember I was getting I 39 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: was feeling sick, and I thought it was because I 40 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,080 Speaker 1: was getting so excited and then I was like the 41 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: you know, adrenaline rush, and then coming down from that 42 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 1: and eating more food than I normally did, and the 43 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 1: hanging out with more people than I normally did, and 44 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,679 Speaker 1: the drinking more than I normally did. So I thought 45 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: it was that, but no, it's happening again and I'm 46 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:47,239 Speaker 1: not doing any of that. So that's I started thinking 47 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: about it. I was like, what could it be? 48 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 2: Then? 49 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 1: And I did as we discussed, me and Samantha discussed. 50 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: I did spend New Year's alone by choice, and I 51 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 1: was thinking more and more about it. I was thinking 52 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 1: more about why don't I like it? Or I don't 53 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,920 Speaker 1: like how it's normally celebrated in the US anyway, or 54 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,919 Speaker 1: how I've celebrated it in the past anyway. I'll say that, 55 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 1: And nowadays I kind of do whatever I want on 56 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,239 Speaker 1: New Year's Like I watch my favorite movies and I 57 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 1: play my favorite games, I listen to my favorite music, 58 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,800 Speaker 1: I eat some of my favorite foods, I read and 59 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 1: write fan fiction and it's the best thing. Like it's 60 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: like the one time, the one holiday I have where 61 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: it's like I'm doing what I want and I love it. 62 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: So it has become something I enjoy. But I still 63 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 1: was experiencing this kind of panic afterwards, so I wanted 64 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: to talk about some of the reasons that might be, 65 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: and we'll start to light but get heavier. Okay, So 66 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 1: one thing is it's kind of anti climactic. We sort 67 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: of build it into this whole thing like this New 68 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: Year's coming. Certainly things will change, like something's gonna happen, 69 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: I'm gonna feel something, and then it kind of doesn't, 70 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: just like, Okay, I'll go to bed now. And then 71 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 1: I've had a lot of great articles about people with kids, 72 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: and I had experienced this being a kid with my parents. 73 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 1: But yeah, it's true, like you're trying to tell your kids, 74 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 1: you know, no, we need to go to bed at 75 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: t a pm or whatever. The kids are getting angry 76 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: they can't stay up till midnight, and then they do 77 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,600 Speaker 1: and it's sort of like, oh, well, I don't get 78 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: a gift or anything. What was the point, right exactly? 79 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: And then as an adult, and I would say especially 80 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,239 Speaker 1: young adults, there is this unhealthy focus on getting really 81 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 1: really wasted. This is a personal theory of mine. I 82 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 1: actually think that if you're somebody who enjoys drinking and 83 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: you know dry January is coming up, or any dietary goal, 84 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,480 Speaker 1: I think that makes you want to indulge more than 85 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 1: you normally would on that night. Yeah, because you're thinking like, oh, well, 86 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,840 Speaker 1: this is it, this is my last hurrah. 87 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,279 Speaker 2: Tomorrow I'll get it to other. 88 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: Which is not a recipe for a fun, healthy, happy night. 89 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:08,039 Speaker 1: It just isn't. And especially if you are somebody who's 90 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 1: struggling with any kind of addiction or sobriety, that is 91 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 1: not a good atmosphere to be in. And then of 92 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 1: course there's like too much pressure to have fun, to 93 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,280 Speaker 1: make it really meaningful. When midnight hits, you're supposed to 94 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: kiss somebody, you're supposed to feel something. Everything's going to change. 95 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:29,200 Speaker 1: And I feel like this is part of the blues. 96 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:31,839 Speaker 1: Part is that then what you're doing is you're thinking 97 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: about all of the things that you see as wrong 98 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:38,160 Speaker 1: in you and your life and how you want to 99 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:43,159 Speaker 1: change them. And for me personally, that can feel very insurmountable. 100 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 1: And then that makes me feel like well why even try, 101 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 1: And then I'll start panicking and it's just like a negative. 102 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 1: It puts me in a really bad space, and so 103 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,240 Speaker 1: that brings us too. Yes, there have been studies about 104 00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 1: New Year's and depression. Here's a quote from a Washington 105 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:03,039 Speaker 1: article about a nineteen ninety nine study about how in 106 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: trying too hard to be happy, you almost undermine the 107 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 1: happiness of having a good time. So here's a quote 108 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 1: from it. The study found that in overwhelming eighty three 109 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,640 Speaker 1: percent of those they surveyed ended up being disappointed with 110 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: their New Year's Eve celebration, and the people who are 111 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,039 Speaker 1: the most let down or those with the highest expectations, 112 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 1: which makes sense. The article also had this quote In 113 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,280 Speaker 1: the study published in twenty eleven, Iris Mouse of UC 114 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:31,479 Speaker 1: Berkeley found that women who valued happiness more reported lower 115 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: happiness when under conditions of lower life stress. So basically, 116 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: if it's less stressful, you're less happy somehow. From a 117 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 1: different Washington Post article out of twenty twenty specifically about women, 118 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,600 Speaker 1: American women are more likely to report stress around the 119 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: holidays than men, According to one two thousand and six 120 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 1: study for New Year's Eve, that stress often lies and 121 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 1: having unrealistic expectations of the glitz and glamour of ringing 122 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: in the New year. Over the years, female patients describe 123 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: something to me that sounds a can to the wedding fantasy, 124 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,159 Speaker 1: says Jack Worthy, a New York City based therapist. You 125 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,400 Speaker 1: grew up watching rom com said on New Year's Eve, 126 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: you whisper to your girlfriends about who you might kiss 127 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: at midnight. It's another bill of good soul to women 128 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 1: but not to men, which I thought was interesting and 129 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 1: one of my earliest college New Year's memory. I remember 130 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 1: this of like that pressure, like are you going to 131 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: kiss that neck? You've got to go find someone, like 132 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 1: go scope someone out, and I'm like why why Ah? 133 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: But the study authors did stress this didn't mean no 134 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: one in their study had a good time at a 135 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 1: big celebration, just that it was like good to not 136 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 1: put too much pressure on it, like, don't have these 137 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 1: big expectations of it, because that just makes sense that 138 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: you'll probably be let down, especially a lot of these 139 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 1: New Year's celebrations, which we're going to talk about our 140 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 1: crowded and expensive and it's just yeah. And one of 141 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: the things there is I love champagne and I'd rather 142 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: be old and hot. But New Year's like this whole 143 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 1: New Year's thing of like I got to be sexy. 144 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: You gotta get like your sequins on, which are usually 145 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: pretty uncomfortable, drinking champagne, being out in the cold, staying 146 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 1: up away past midnight. It's like either at some point 147 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 1: you're gonna be really exhausted and you're just thinking about 148 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 1: when it will be over, or you're uncomfortable and you 149 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: can't wait until it's over. Yeah, there's never enough food, 150 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: but there's all you can want to drink, even though 151 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:33,680 Speaker 1: it's probably expensive. And this again is not a great recipe. 152 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 1: And now, one time I was at a rooftop party 153 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: here and it was very cold and there was not 154 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: near enough food. So every time the waiters would come 155 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 1: out with like or derves, like finger food, we would 156 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 1: all swarm on them and they'd be gone before they 157 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: even like got fully out the door. That's how hungry 158 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 1: we were. 159 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 2: I feel like that was what happened at the Christmas party. 160 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true, our office Christmas party where you have 161 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 1: the episode so you can listen to. I was looking 162 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 1: through our old episodes to day, and I think it 163 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 1: was called You're Sopathetic. Yeah, well yeah, it was a 164 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: song in my head, but yes, well yeah, where we 165 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,559 Speaker 1: came home and kind of experienced this whole thing I'm 166 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:16,839 Speaker 1: talking about. But that does I mean, it doesn't help 167 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: if you're hungry. Nothing is gonna get better if you're hungry. 168 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 2: Right, not getting food and then orders for like a 169 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 2: four hour event. During dinner time, You're like, excuse me. 170 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: Right, come on, now, come on now. Awesome. Fireworks can 171 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 1: be pretty upsetting, like PTSD if you have PTSD or 172 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 1: something like that. You and I were texting that night, 173 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: and I was like jumping so hard every time fireworks 174 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 1: went off. I feel like, if I can see them, 175 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,680 Speaker 1: it's better, but I couldn't see them just right here. 176 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,680 Speaker 2: We talked about you coming over for us to do 177 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 2: New Year's together and doing it the three of us 178 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 2: and simply just hanging and I was honestly like we 179 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,080 Speaker 2: canceled the last minute because I was like, uh, we're tired, 180 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 2: We're just getting back from Florida and I'm having We're 181 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 2: having to see cousins or whatever. But that night, at 182 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:27,679 Speaker 2: round nine, maybe eight pm, the amount of gunshots not fireworks, 183 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,520 Speaker 2: Like we literally had a game throughout the night of 184 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,600 Speaker 2: calling it gunshots or fireworks. And I'm not talking about 185 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:37,320 Speaker 2: one or two shots here and there. It sounded like 186 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 2: automatic weapons going off for a good three minute span, 187 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 2: and then not only was it happening, but it sounded 188 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 2: like someone was talking back with their own weapon on 189 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 2: the other side. Of the neighborhood. So it was just 190 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:52,080 Speaker 2: like a back and forth of just weapons going off, 191 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 2: and we were just like, holy, I don't like we 192 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 2: live in Atlanta. We live in the US, so yes, 193 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 2: guns are freely available, unfortunately, and many people have it. 194 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 2: And I hate this. I hate the situation entirely, and 195 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 2: I hate guns in general, like I've always hated guns. 196 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 2: But when I lived in one side of Atlanta, it 197 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,080 Speaker 2: was we had gunshots and we all hated it. We 198 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 2: all had nightmares about it and reminding me, please don't, please, 199 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:23,199 Speaker 2: don't do this. And we've also had areas where people 200 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 2: just like there was gun violence. It's rampant. So I 201 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,720 Speaker 2: hate to be apathetic, but you get used to it, unfortunately, 202 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 2: and there's not much you can do when you have 203 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,559 Speaker 2: the laws as we do. And then you know, you've 204 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 2: got governors who are like, yeah, they don't need carry purmits, 205 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 2: come on and so or conceal permits either, and so 206 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 2: you're like, what's going on? And then and in that 207 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,840 Speaker 2: one area in my old neighborhood, it was bad, but 208 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, get over it. And then 209 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 2: we would laugh at the next door neighbor app where 210 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 2: they would be like, oh, what's so many gunshots? Like 211 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 2: there's a gunshot and calm down, Yes you're in Atlanta. 212 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 2: But then coming on this side, the other side the neighborhood, 213 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,240 Speaker 2: and I swear it wasn't this bad last year because 214 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 2: we were here last year. This year it was constant. 215 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 2: I have never heard so much gunshots. And I've lived 216 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:14,200 Speaker 2: in Atlanta for twenty years in my life, and it 217 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 2: was frightening to the point that I would not let 218 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 2: my dog go out at any point during the like 219 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 2: if there was a span where it was quiet for 220 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:26,440 Speaker 2: like a good ten minutes, then maybe because you know, 221 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 2: she has to go potty. But like, it was so 222 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 2: bad that I was having like issues and yelling at 223 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,199 Speaker 2: my partner because he would go out and I'm like, 224 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 2: what the fuck are you doing? Get back inside and 225 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,080 Speaker 2: he's like, you know it's I'm like, I don't give ah. 226 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 2: There's too many stories of accidents happening where flyway bullets 227 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,320 Speaker 2: go into houses. I was loaded the ground. I'm not 228 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,559 Speaker 2: gonna lie like I purposely stayed load to the ground 229 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,240 Speaker 2: because I'm like, what if? What if? Because it was 230 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 2: so bad, it sounded there was more gunshots than any 231 00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 2: fireworks that will happen. That night, it was overwhelming, and 232 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 2: I was like, I'm really glad you're not here. I 233 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 2: don't think you would have been okay. 234 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:15,199 Speaker 1: I wasn't okay. Yeah. Yeah, And again, like alcohol doesn't 235 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,800 Speaker 1: help when it comes to that kind of thing. Our fireworks, 236 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 1: like the accidents are more likely to happen if alcohol 237 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: is involved. 238 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:26,199 Speaker 2: I didn't see any reported, hopefully not, but like that 239 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 2: doesn't mean it didn't happen. 240 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, moving on from that. New Year's is also 241 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: a part of the reason you may feel if you're 242 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 1: like me and you're kind of like, uh, it comes 243 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 1: off to other major holidays to kind of like cold, 244 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 1: dreary months that don't have much going on. Interestingly, I 245 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,199 Speaker 1: read an article that went like, basically, you're going from 246 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 1: hanging out with everybody to hang out with no But interestingly, 247 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 1: I have gotten a lot of requests to hang out 248 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 1: in this month, So I wonder if people are already 249 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:03,960 Speaker 1: trying to be like, I'm not going back. Like I said, 250 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 1: it's extensive as drinks, ticket, transportation. And I did find 251 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 1: an article that I'm just gonna mention I'm not going 252 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: to go into it, but it was about how there 253 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,960 Speaker 1: have been links to end of year budgetary woes and 254 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 1: domestic violence. A Medium article called it the deadliest time 255 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 1: of the year for domestic violence. Another thing that can 256 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:28,520 Speaker 1: really stress you out are the super curated social media 257 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: posts like year end reviews. Several things I read recommended 258 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 1: limiting your social media use around the new year, and 259 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,520 Speaker 1: not just New Year's Eve, but also the New year, 260 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:42,160 Speaker 1: when you might see a bunch of stuff about dietary 261 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: things or weight loss or whatever it is. I actually 262 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: do think too, this is a problem. I don't have 263 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 1: problems the right word, but it's something to be mindful 264 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 1: of around any major events, like where's your perfect Instagram 265 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 1: post or your perfect whatever social media post? Which can 266 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 1: you know? It can take out of the moment. It 267 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 1: can be really fun, it's cool to look back later, 268 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 1: but it is something that a lot of things I read, 269 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 1: especially about New Year's was it's more like you're for 270 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 1: a lot of people. It's more like you're proving how 271 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 1: much fun you had than actually having the fun. Here's 272 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 1: a quote from web MD. If you find yourself assessing 273 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 1: and reassessing the year, becoming more and more depressed, you 274 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 1: may be a ruminator. Women are more likely than men 275 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,560 Speaker 1: to have this habit. Nolan hooked them, as says, and 276 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: Nolan hooks him as the author of women who's saying 277 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,200 Speaker 1: too much? But it was interesting. It was about kind 278 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:37,600 Speaker 1: of the real negative culmination of assessing your year that 279 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:41,720 Speaker 1: can happen in how women are usually more hard on 280 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,760 Speaker 1: themselves and hard about their year than men are. And 281 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 1: then this brings us to resolutions for women in the 282 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 1: New Year. I've already been talking about this. To be clear, 283 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: I do think it's good to have this time to 284 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 1: reflect and be introspective. I think realistic, healthy goals are 285 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 1: good and you can start them at any time. It's 286 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:02,720 Speaker 1: the thing I do not think a lot of the 287 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: commercialized culture around New Year's resolutions for women is healthy personally. 288 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 1: I have gotten absolutely bombarded with marketing emails about diet, 289 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:19,960 Speaker 1: weight exercise, about sleep and self care, mental health, all 290 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 1: kinds of things. Like every I got a headline today, 291 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,400 Speaker 1: I almost put it in here, so it's like, oh 292 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 1: my gosh, just your subject line is making me feel 293 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,920 Speaker 1: bad about myself, Like I don't need this again. Like 294 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: a resolution coming from a healthy place and pursued from 295 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,480 Speaker 1: a healthy place is great. I used to make all 296 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 1: kinds of them, but a lot of them are really small. 297 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 1: Like I learned how to do that kind of coin 298 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 1: rollly thing with your knuckles. That was great. This whole 299 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 1: focus on losing weight is really bad for disordered eating 300 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:54,720 Speaker 1: of any kind. It's also yeah, pretty, it's not a 301 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: great time for people with any kind of addiction that 302 00:16:56,640 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 1: they're struggling with because you just putting so much pressure 303 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: on yourself to completely change, or this pressure to do 304 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,159 Speaker 1: all the things. Why weren't you doing all the things before? 305 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,399 Speaker 1: If you suddenly change everything about yourself and be better, 306 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: exercise more, drink smoothie, then you're gonna be a better person. 307 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:19,880 Speaker 1: Because past you sucks. So this is a new year, 308 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 1: new you, maybe an you better get on board. Like 309 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 1: I just don't think it's healthy, right, I just don't 310 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:30,919 Speaker 1: think it's healthy. And you know, New Year's Eve, like 311 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,239 Speaker 1: I've been saying, is not just a look at New 312 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,679 Speaker 1: Year's Eve, It's a look at the whole year. And 313 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,639 Speaker 1: that can put you in a bad space. Like maybe 314 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,320 Speaker 1: you had your ups and your downs, but maybe you 315 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:44,480 Speaker 1: had some really serious downs. Most years are like that. 316 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,639 Speaker 1: And I think if you're drinking champagne and you're cold 317 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,479 Speaker 1: and you're hungry, you start ruminating about your year, and 318 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,719 Speaker 1: then the next day comes and nothing really feels different. 319 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,920 Speaker 1: It's just not for me, it doesn't. I just feel sad. 320 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,560 Speaker 1: I just feel sad, and it is I mean, you know, 321 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,200 Speaker 1: it's kind of I know we've all heard this argument before, 322 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,439 Speaker 1: but if you're being too hard on yourself, you're setting 323 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,080 Speaker 1: yourself up to fail. And I think that you can 324 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 1: actually stabtize yourself that way, like, oh, I won't set 325 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,920 Speaker 1: any resolutions because I can never keep them, whereas maybe 326 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 1: you can set one or something that is much more 327 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 1: realistic and much healthier and you might actually do it. 328 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 1: But if you're just setting these things, I just feel 329 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 1: like there's also a sect of people who feel like 330 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,720 Speaker 1: they can't succeed because they're so used to setting up 331 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:39,679 Speaker 1: really difficult resolutions. And this can also be harder if 332 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:43,280 Speaker 1: you're someone struggling with something like sad and the weather 333 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:48,640 Speaker 1: and the like the darkness is impacting you. But yeah, 334 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 1: this whole phenomenon has been studied. Feeling depressed at the 335 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,439 Speaker 1: new year has been documented, so if you're feeling it, 336 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 1: you're not alone. I think it's also kind of like, 337 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,199 Speaker 1: you know, you got to go back to work and 338 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 1: just get back in that mindset. So there are a 339 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:12,040 Speaker 1: lot of reasons for it. If you're feeling it, then 340 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,639 Speaker 1: you're not alone. If you did have a good New 341 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,640 Speaker 1: Year's New Year's Eve, if you love resolutions, that's great too. 342 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 1: Either way, just let us know how the new year 343 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 1: has been for you. You can email us at sep Medium, 344 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,719 Speaker 1: mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us 345 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 1: on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and 346 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,800 Speaker 1: TikTok at Stuff I've Never Told You. We have a 347 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: tea public store, and we have a book that you 348 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,720 Speaker 1: can get wherever you get your books. Thanks as always 349 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,159 Speaker 1: to our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and 350 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: our contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you for 351 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 1: listening Stuff I've Never Told You, the production of iHeart Radio. 352 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check 353 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,439 Speaker 1: out the i heeart Radio app Apple Podcasts wherever you 354 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.