Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to your Chelsea featuring Chelsea Handler and Brandon. Hello. Hi, Hi, sweetheart.
Speaker 1: How's your day going? Not pretty annoyed today? That's okay.
Speaker 1: You have a lot of reasons to be annoyed on.
Speaker 1: There is a lot going on, Brandon, There's been a
Speaker 1: lot happening to you recently. So let's it's okay to
Speaker 1: be in a bad mood. Just accept it, and I'm
Speaker 1: acknowledging it. Acknowledging it. No that it will pass. You're
Speaker 1: going to have a rough day and it will be
Speaker 1: gone tomorrow most likely. And you've had a rough week.
Speaker 1: You know who else is having a rough time? Alex Rodriguez,
Speaker 1: did you hear about somebody took a picture of him
Speaker 1: taking a shed be in his apartment and then decided
Speaker 1: to post it all over the internet. I was not aware,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure that's a welcome distraction from miss Jennifer
Speaker 1: Lopez News. I would say that that is a terrible
Speaker 1: thing to do to another person, like who took that
Speaker 1: photo and then posted it? Like, honestly, you know, our
Speaker 1: society is so fucked up. But I would say that
Speaker 1: if that were to happen to somebody, if it had
Speaker 1: to happen to somebody, I think it should be Alex Rodriguez.
Speaker 1: He's probably thrilled that this is the new headline and
Speaker 1: not him and Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Lopez hanging out with
Speaker 1: Ben Affleck. Yeah, well, I'm sure he's not thrilled about that.
Speaker 1: But I'm sure he's not thrilled about hearing rumors about
Speaker 1: his ex girl. What were they married? They were engaged? Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I just don't care for him. I feel the same
Speaker 1: way about Alex Rodriguez. I find him very off putting,
Speaker 1: and I don't know why so many women are so
Speaker 1: into him. I don't like his body shape, I don't
Speaker 1: like his demeanor. I'm glad you said that about his
Speaker 1: body shape because I also don't like it, and I
Speaker 1: don't know why. But I've met him once and I
Speaker 1: was picked out when I met him, and I'm still
Speaker 1: picked out by him even I just don't understand a
Speaker 1: lot of Jennifer Lopez's choices romantically, though they never make
Speaker 1: sense to me really, her and Mark Anthony, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. It's like there's a trend here that
Speaker 1: she's dating people that are one not in her league
Speaker 1: and two obviously not a romantic match. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: understand the rebounding. I don't understand, like when you break
Speaker 1: up having sex with your ex boyfriend, Like I don't
Speaker 1: get that, Like why two weeks without having sex and
Speaker 1: then contact Your and Ben Affleck have both said individually
Speaker 1: in interviews that they are the ones that got away,
Speaker 1: And sometimes I think that can't happen, that you're just
Speaker 1: going through a life circumstance where it's not going to
Speaker 1: work out, and maybe it can down the road. I
Speaker 1: hope they work out. Actually, I would like to see
Speaker 1: them get back together Ben Affleck and j Lo. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: Well I hope that comes true for you. Then, I
Speaker 1: don't know what I think about that. I don't have
Speaker 1: a preference situation, not today. I often think of which
Speaker 1: male celebrity I would like to see you end up with.
Speaker 1: Do you have any thoughts on this? I'd like your opinion. No,
Speaker 1: I don't. Actually, I haven't thought about that. There's someone
Speaker 1: that we've talked about a couple of times that I
Speaker 1: would have liked to see you with, Gerard Butler. Gerard
Speaker 1: Butler is we would cancel each other out because he's
Speaker 1: a little bit wild like I'm a little bit wild.
Speaker 1: I would actually venture to say that Gerard Butler is
Speaker 1: more wild than I am, really, but he's a really
Speaker 1: nice guy. John Hamm, John Hamm is a really nice
Speaker 1: guy too. John Hamm has a girlfriend right now. I
Speaker 1: think I did have a question John ham though for
Speaker 1: a long long time, those are the two that come
Speaker 1: to my mind most often. Yeah, and I had a
Speaker 1: crush on him, and then I have another one. I
Speaker 1: don't know why, but you did justin Long's podcast a
Speaker 1: while ago. And I just find him very attractive. And
Speaker 1: I've seen him out and about a few times and
Speaker 1: he just has this error to him where he seems
Speaker 1: very confident, and I would love to see that happen. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: you guys could have a good time together. Well, I
Speaker 1: did his podcast and we did have a great time together.
Speaker 1: I really really like him, but he's not really my type.
Speaker 1: What is your type? Let's get into that for a bit.
Speaker 1: We talked about that your masculine. I like a guy
Speaker 1: that's first of all, physically bigger than I am. I
Speaker 1: want to feel like a girl, like a dainty little Yeah.
Speaker 1: I've had sex with a couple of guys that were
Speaker 1: smaller than me, and I didn't really like that. Wasn't
Speaker 1: Ted small. Ted was short, but stout corpula, He wasn't tall.
Speaker 1: I don't remember. There's always say that I like short guys,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I do not, and then they go
Speaker 1: and list all the men I've dated, and like half
Speaker 1: of them are like five nine or five ten. But
Speaker 1: that's not really short. Chewy was short, all right, Well,
Speaker 1: we were going to build a guy for you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that people should know so they know what
Speaker 1: to keep an eye out for. You like a British guy.
Speaker 1: Actually I do. I love British guys. I like foreigners.
Speaker 1: You like black guys? What not a black British guy?
Speaker 1: What about your driver? That would be a home run.
Speaker 1: In any of your outings this last week, did you
Speaker 1: ever go out and start a conversation? I went to
Speaker 1: Hotel bel Air. This was your homework assignment, I know,
Speaker 1: but there were no men around, and the men that
Speaker 1: were lesbian convention. No, it was just I was with
Speaker 1: a girlfriend. It's hard to look and check out other
Speaker 1: guys when you're with somebody. I like to be focused
Speaker 1: on what I'm doing. She and I had a great
Speaker 1: time without men. So I did not approach a man.
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it. It's a good challenge for me.
Speaker 1: I'll find somebody to hit on. Stay tuned for that,
Speaker 1: you guys. Let's take a quick break. So have you
Speaker 1: ever felt like there's a time where your advice was
Speaker 1: invasive or unwanted? Yeah, all the time. That's happens to
Speaker 1: me all the time. I give unsolicited advice. That's my problem.
Speaker 1: But are there certain people into your life, you know,
Speaker 1: even if they aren't asking for it, needed or want
Speaker 1: it unknowingly? Well, maybe that's how you can justify it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, some people are receptive to it and then go,
Speaker 1: oh thank you like you always say, oh thank you
Speaker 1: for telling me. Yeah, because I think it's important to
Speaker 1: people in your life that you care about. Normally they're
Speaker 1: giving you their opinion or advice on something. It's coming
Speaker 1: from a good place, like no one advice with malice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I used to do that, probably be a
Speaker 1: little bit malicious. Well, the reason I ask is because
Speaker 1: a lot of the submissions today are people kind of
Speaker 1: either overstepping or perfect Well that's your area of expertise, overbearing,
Speaker 1: overstepping or shockingly in one of them, that they're disinterested
Speaker 1: in the feedback at all, So I think we should
Speaker 1: just get right into it. And our first mission comes
Speaker 1: from a woman named Kimberly. She's a night nurse at
Speaker 1: a nursing home and she writes, Dear Chelsea, myself and
Speaker 1: several co workers are being bullied at work. With COVID
Speaker 1: restricting so much employment, we feel stuck in our jobs.
Speaker 1: Management excuses the bad behavior as personality conflicts. It's like
Speaker 1: us around the house. Our coworker comes on the floor
Speaker 1: and we feel her mission to belittle us, to grade
Speaker 1: us and shame us. We are frontline workers in a
Speaker 1: nursing home and it is affecting our ability to care
Speaker 1: and support for our residents with dignity and love. What
Speaker 1: do you advise that they all need to get together,
Speaker 1: All of you guys need to join forces and stand
Speaker 1: up to the bully together saying that this is unacceptable
Speaker 1: behavior in the middle of a pandemic. No, less, don't
Speaker 1: feed the beast. Well, I mean, it's just unacceptable that
Speaker 1: a colleague is coming on the floor and belittling them
Speaker 1: and that they have to even put up with that.
Speaker 1: What do you think of the boss is disregarding the
Speaker 1: not surprising. I mean, who wants to deal with it?
Speaker 1: No boss, you know, especially at a nursing home, it's
Speaker 1: probably like really really low hanging for Yeah, I agree,
Speaker 1: you just need to address it. But I just used
Speaker 1: low hanging fruit the right way. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't either. That doesn't seem like I did. I'm confused.
Speaker 1: I would say it probably wasn't used the right way,
Speaker 1: but at a nursing home, I couldn't tell you what is. Well,
Speaker 1: there is definitely low hanging fruit. Yeah. Yeah, So I
Speaker 1: think that this is one of those situations where you
Speaker 1: just kind of have to confront it head on, like
Speaker 1: if it's not going away, you're going to need to
Speaker 1: address it. It reminds me of Andrew Cuomo the bullying,
Speaker 1: you know, because I just read that article. There was
Speaker 1: a big piece on him that I just read recently,
Speaker 1: and you know, it was just talking about the pathology
Speaker 1: of his behavior, you know, of him being a bully
Speaker 1: to so many people for so many years in New York.
Speaker 1: Because it's gonna be interesting to see what happens with Andrew. Quote,
Speaker 1: you're glad you dodged that bullet. Well, I don't think
Speaker 1: I dodged the bullet as much as he dodged me,
Speaker 1: because I had a crush on him. And then I
Speaker 1: talked to him on the phone a few times, and
Speaker 1: we texted a couple of times and it was very flirtatious,
Speaker 1: and I thought for sure there was going to be
Speaker 1: penetrate Shan. Well, now we know why I didn't work out,
Speaker 1: because he wouldn't be able to bully you. He was like,
Speaker 1: apparently he doesn't like women that throwed themselves at him.
Speaker 1: He prefers to take it. Like all of the stories
Speaker 1: of sexual harassment. I mean, the sexual harassment stories are
Speaker 1: him like grabbing somebody. Nobody's accusing him of sexual assault.
Speaker 1: But I did dodge a bullet. You know, when you
Speaker 1: find out all of that, you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: thank god, I think dating him or have sex with
Speaker 1: him even Well, I told you from the beginning, because
Speaker 1: he's sixty two and I'm forty six, and that's just
Speaker 1: like his body looks like a melting candle. You can't well,
Speaker 1: it looks like he's transitioning it into a woman because
Speaker 1: like a lot of men that age start to look
Speaker 1: like women, right, but a very butcher woman, lesbian woman,
Speaker 1: but his mother. Basically, if you've seen pictures of his mom,
Speaker 1: he looks a lot like his mom. And so it
Speaker 1: was already like, was I going to be able to
Speaker 1: go down that road and like be able to see
Speaker 1: the things that I was going to see on his
Speaker 1: body and not. I zoomed in on so many Instagram
Speaker 1: posts and pictures to see exactly where his we exchanged
Speaker 1: quite of you of those were on his body right,
Speaker 1: because there was a lot of questions about his nipples
Speaker 1: and then where were they, you know, down or up?
Speaker 1: And then there are a lot of questions about, you know,
Speaker 1: the background of that mansion he lives in and Albany
Speaker 1: also and the decor. That was going to be a
Speaker 1: hard pill to swallow, but luckily that didn't happen. I
Speaker 1: don't know how this relates it all to the nursing home,
Speaker 1: but I think you brought up nursing homes and bullying
Speaker 1: and I immediately went to answer Cromo so sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. Well, Kimberly, I think to wrap this up
Speaker 1: is you just need to address it head on yourself.
Speaker 1: If the admin and the office doesn't do anything about it,
Speaker 1: then it takes the bullies power away. You just address it,
Speaker 1: get your little gang of girls together, guys who whomever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you just have to join forces and stand up to
Speaker 1: the bully. Fuck that. As an adult being bullied, it's like,
Speaker 1: no thanks. It's these people who just want a sense
Speaker 1: of power so if they don't have it. It's this
Speaker 1: is the exact way I think of middle school receptionists.
Speaker 1: It's like they just love and they're always like sausage
Speaker 1: finger like Sharon's like, they just would yeah, like that
Speaker 1: principle's reception. Yeah, they just feel like adjacent to the power,
Speaker 1: so they like to flex that muscle. It's like a
Speaker 1: crossing guard. Basically a crossing guard, somebody gets way out
Speaker 1: of control with their responsibility. It's like a police officer
Speaker 1: when they're directing traffic. That happens in Martha's Vineyard a lot,
Speaker 1: and it's like, Okay, everybody, calm down. Guys. People love
Speaker 1: to be able to put someone else in the place,
Speaker 1: Like anytime you go do you have never experienced this,
Speaker 1: I can guarantee, But like going to do a return
Speaker 1: if you're a day over or use a coupon on
Speaker 1: something and they don't want to do I'm like, is
Speaker 1: this the fucking issue you want to take up right now? Like,
Speaker 1: is this really the expiration date on a coupon? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, it's so freaking annoying. Are you using coupons? Yes?
Speaker 1: I use coupons for you and you don't even know it.
Speaker 1: That's sweet, sweetheart. Yes, I'm thirty. I told you economically responsible, Well,
Speaker 1: you doesn't matter how much you have, it's how much
Speaker 1: you save. And that's where I come in. Yeah. Well, anyway,
Speaker 1: so that's that's also advice for everyone listening. It's not
Speaker 1: how much you have, it's how much you save. Save, yes,
Speaker 1: because you need to save. Oh girl, please please. Unbelievable.
Speaker 1: I'm still using the coupons. Our next submission comes from
Speaker 1: Nicole Tran. She's twenty five. We have her on the line,
Speaker 1: but her submission says, Hi, Chelsea, I'm a big fan
Speaker 1: of you since Chelsea lately. That's nice. Thank you for
Speaker 1: being such a good role model. As I've gotten older,
Speaker 1: I've realized that dating men my age has gotten worse
Speaker 1: and worse, especially with the Me Too movement and broke culture.
Speaker 1: I realize I can't hate them more. Any dating advice
Speaker 1: that you would give yourself at twenty five so Nicole,
Speaker 1: I'm oh, you are look at look at Nicole, Hi, Nicole.
Speaker 1: I mean it's so so disappointing. What men have taken.
Speaker 1: The last couple of years with men have been so disappointing.
Speaker 1: Like I totally feel your pain because I'm forty six,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty one years older than you, and I feel
Speaker 1: exactly the way that you fucking feel. I'm like, are
Speaker 1: you fucking serious, you guys, Like, are you guys gonna
Speaker 1: be this disappointing for us for the rest of our lives.
Speaker 1: We're telling you that you need to start behaving in
Speaker 1: a different way. We're trying to help you win, and
Speaker 1: they still won't fucking listen. Yeah, it can't be easier
Speaker 1: than that. And that's the funny thing, Like you're literally
Speaker 1: giving them the advice that they need, and it it's
Speaker 1: still more disappointing, Like if these are the tools that
Speaker 1: you need to be better, and then they make it
Speaker 1: about themselves again. Yes, yes, women have quite literally given
Speaker 1: men a road map to get laid and they still
Speaker 1: get lost, like where, well, I don't understand what you
Speaker 1: want be like, I actually just know it's like I
Speaker 1: want to funk all you guys. And you're ruining it.
Speaker 1: You're blowing it. All of you guys are blowing it
Speaker 1: because we It's like women want you to succeed. Yet
Speaker 1: like straight white men do not understand what the funk
Speaker 1: is going on. They are so resistant, Like this one
Speaker 1: guy in Canada. I was talking to this one guy
Speaker 1: in Canada and we're skiing, and he said, he goes,
Speaker 1: it does feel like a little bit like reverse discrimination
Speaker 1: on the subject of white male patriarchy. Blah blah, he goes,
Speaker 1: it does feel like I understand everything needs to be equal,
Speaker 1: but it does feel like reverse discrimination. And I just
Speaker 1: looked at him and thought, like, well, I didn't think.
Speaker 1: I said, you know, first of all, you're okay with
Speaker 1: discrimination as long as it's not reverse you know, just
Speaker 1: saying it like that's the problem. It's like, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what needs to happen is reverse discrimination for a period
Speaker 1: of time until things become equitable, like in a real way,
Speaker 1: like you know, anyway, don't get me fucking started, obviously,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, So anyway, who was the last person
Speaker 1: you dated? I at this point, I'm just like not
Speaker 1: dating like I've been just like trying to date people,
Speaker 1: and just like on dating apps, but then it would
Speaker 1: I would go and get drinks of people, and then
Speaker 1: it just gets weird, like people will just say really
Speaker 1: stalker ish stuff and I feel like they would lock
Speaker 1: me in their basement and I just get out of there.
Speaker 1: In your submission, you mentioned that you live in a
Speaker 1: college town. To me, that speaks volumes about the type
Speaker 1: of men who are going to be lingering around your area.
Speaker 1: So it's a lot of like guys in arrested development
Speaker 1: who are clinging to their college days if they've graduated,
Speaker 1: or it's guys in college, in which case like you
Speaker 1: can't you can't, can't you because they're too stupid. And
Speaker 1: I'm in Columbus, Ohio, so like everything is just like
Speaker 1: everything is just a huge campus. So everyone's either extremely
Speaker 1: young or everyone is completely like a frat for life,
Speaker 1: so they just hire everyone who will never grow up
Speaker 1: and it's disappointing. Can I ask for because you're both
Speaker 1: on dating apps, I'm obviously not on a dating app,
Speaker 1: but is there Yeah, I'll see how that goes over.
Speaker 1: Do people not meet through friends anymore? Is it only
Speaker 1: like the accessibility that you and whoever else is on
Speaker 1: the dating app know that you're both looking, so is
Speaker 1: it the convenience. I just don't understand why no one
Speaker 1: is hooked up with through mutual friends who kind of
Speaker 1: understand what you might be into. I think the hardest
Speaker 1: part with that is like if something goes wrong and
Speaker 1: then it doesn't work out, then it's just awkward for
Speaker 1: the rest of your life, and like you're just asking like, oh,
Speaker 1: was that so and so going to be there, and
Speaker 1: then you just have to like dodge out of a
Speaker 1: party or like dodge out of us. And I think
Speaker 1: people have to have a knack for setting people up.
Speaker 1: It's not it's like your friend. No, my friends don't
Speaker 1: set me up, which I think speaks more about my
Speaker 1: personality than it does. They try, and the guys are
Speaker 1: and they're just not quite right. They think, I'm like, listen, guys,
Speaker 1: this is my friends will try and set me up.
Speaker 1: I'm like, ah, this is a little too middle age,
Speaker 1: if you know what I'm talking about. And they're like,
Speaker 1: you are middle aged. I'm like, god, no, I'm freking
Speaker 1: not okay, not in my head, but you know what,
Speaker 1: just take a break, because I think a lot of
Speaker 1: women feel the way you feel about men, and you
Speaker 1: just need to like take a break and wait for
Speaker 1: like a crush to develop naturally, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: so that you can be reintroduced to the idea of flirtation.
Speaker 1: Dating apps are just like it's like COVID, it's like fatigue,
Speaker 1: you know, you have, like they become so boring and
Speaker 1: wrote and it's just adds to the day to day
Speaker 1: mundaneus that everyone kind of is feeling psychologically because of
Speaker 1: quarantining and etcetera. So I would say take a break
Speaker 1: and you know, just try and focus on yourself actually,
Speaker 1: because that's never bad when you take some time and
Speaker 1: just so like try and get like healthy, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, get grounded, read books and stuff. You
Speaker 1: always get a prize at the end of that, which
Speaker 1: will hopefully come in the package of a man that
Speaker 1: you want to have sex with. That's true, absolutely, and
Speaker 1: if not, then you're not out any of that energy
Speaker 1: that you would have invested into the man because you've
Speaker 1: invested in it into yourself. So it's a real win
Speaker 1: either way, exactly, it's a win win. That's very accurate.
Speaker 1: Went in doubt invest in yourself. That's going to be
Speaker 1: our hashtag for this podcast. If if I believed in hashtags.
Speaker 1: Maybe you could keep us posted on your next few days, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and circle back tell us what happened. I just told
Speaker 1: you to take a break, though, Brandon, you're giving me
Speaker 1: conflicting advice now when it does happen. Okay, yeah, keep
Speaker 1: us posted. We want all of our callers to keep
Speaker 1: us posted as to their progress. That's a good idea,
Speaker 1: perfect All right, Well it was nice, thanks guys, have
Speaker 1: a great day. Bye again. A totally really normal, reasonable person.
Speaker 1: I just really am interested. Like I like these callers.
Speaker 1: Everyone has the same issues. And this is what I
Speaker 1: don't understand with people. Everyone has the same issues. I
Speaker 1: think they're common that everyone is facing some of the
Speaker 1: same hurdles with especially dating. Well, you're not having that
Speaker 1: problem because you're in a relationship, yes, But everyone who's
Speaker 1: on these apps, it's like everyone wants to be in
Speaker 1: a relationship or find someone, yet they spend all their
Speaker 1: time texting on it and they never said anything up.
Speaker 1: I talked to a friend recently who had said the
Speaker 1: same thing that he had been talking to this guy
Speaker 1: for like weeks on a dating app. I said, well,
Speaker 1: have you tried to set a date? And he's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: well here and there, you know, we'll talk about it.
Speaker 1: I'm like I would exchange two messages before I said, like, hey,
Speaker 1: let's meet here. I'm available like this time these weeks.
Speaker 1: Do you want to get together? If the whole point
Speaker 1: is to date, you can't fucking do that through a phone,
Speaker 1: So you're gonna have to get out and do something.
Speaker 1: You're actually very good with that. You normally if you're
Speaker 1: into someone, you meet them right away for a drink
Speaker 1: or dinner or something. I'm sorry, I was just reading
Speaker 1: a text from my brother who said he was on
Speaker 1: the way his way to get his birth certificate. Did
Speaker 1: you see that text from Roy? He said, Hi, guys,
Speaker 1: sorry for the late reply. I was playing basketball and
Speaker 1: then I'm on my way to Elizabeth to get my
Speaker 1: birth certificate. Ask him if you can find your parents
Speaker 1: marriage certificate, that would be really handy. Can you find
Speaker 1: just so you know, we need the marrige certificate because
Speaker 1: we've been trying to get Chelsea's German citizenship, any citizenship
Speaker 1: from any country. I want it. She'll go anywhere. An
Speaker 1: additional passport is always welcome, and we can't find her
Speaker 1: parents marriage certificate. I don't know if they did it
Speaker 1: off the books or what. But we've searched basically every
Speaker 1: county in New Jersey. Considering that they're my parents, they
Speaker 1: probably aren't even fucking married and we're lying to us
Speaker 1: about that. Also, you know, I have a brother I
Speaker 1: found out about right that I didn't know. I just
Speaker 1: found out about that recently. I'm always learning new things about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll focus on the brothers I do have. Oh great, Well,
Speaker 1: why don't you see if this brother that you do
Speaker 1: have confined the maor certificate right right? Because my brother Roy,
Speaker 1: my brother Roy can't. He doesn't even know where his
Speaker 1: own birth certificate or driver's license is. He's never gonna
Speaker 1: be able to find something that may not even exist.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have Roy. We're gonna have Roy call into
Speaker 1: the show because I want you to hear my brother Roy.
Speaker 1: He's the oldest by default because my other brother, you know, died,
Speaker 1: So Roy became the oldest from my other brother died.
Speaker 1: And at my brother's funeral, my grandfather came over and
Speaker 1: was like, Roy, you're the oldest. Now you're in charge,
Speaker 1: and all of the rest of the siblings were like,
Speaker 1: uh no, he's fucking not. He's stoned all the time.
Speaker 1: This is when he was a teenager, and so we
Speaker 1: were like, he's so not the oldest, and he's not
Speaker 1: in our family dynamic. He's like basically the baby. Even
Speaker 1: though I'm the baby, he's the baby. So I want
Speaker 1: him to tell you his story because he's been in Palau,
Speaker 1: living in Palau for like the last few years. I've
Speaker 1: never met him. He has a very interesting shaped head,
Speaker 1: and he's really sweet and adorable and very funny and
Speaker 1: his real quiet, funny way. I want you to give
Speaker 1: him advice because I don't give my brother advice anymore.
Speaker 1: They're all like, you know, we're all done. They just
Speaker 1: check out. We just want to support him and we
Speaker 1: want him to be happy. Okay, that's I mean, that's
Speaker 1: a good stance to take. I don't even know if
Speaker 1: he wants advice, but he likes to talk so un
Speaker 1: solicited he'll get it. I'll be able to call in
Speaker 1: one of these days. Well, until Roy calls, we have
Speaker 1: Sergio on the phone. He is in his thirties. He's
Speaker 1: from New York, and he writes, dear Oh, this is
Speaker 1: perfect sibling complexities. Dear Chelsea, how do you make sure
Speaker 1: to not overburden your siblings. I want to find balance
Speaker 1: between being a mentor to them and just being an
Speaker 1: older gay brother. Sergio. Hi, Hi, Telsey, Hi, how are
Speaker 1: you good? Good here in the city and telling the weather? Well, Sergio,
Speaker 1: what's going on with your siblings? How many do you have?
Speaker 1: What's the deal? I have way too many siblings. So
Speaker 1: I have six sisters to a younger and one older brother.
Speaker 1: So I'm trying to find the balance between like being
Speaker 1: that gay older brother for my two younger sisters, but
Speaker 1: not two out there for them, you know, talking about
Speaker 1: my sex life or anything like that. Right, Okay, So
Speaker 1: you have six sisters, yes, and then you have two
Speaker 1: younger yes, So how many all together? Eight? My parents
Speaker 1: didn't know about birth control unfortunately, okay, yeah, and a
Speaker 1: lot of people didn't seem to know about the birth control.
Speaker 1: Guess who does know about it? I do. Well, you're gay, Brandon.
Speaker 1: You probably have more to say on this topic before
Speaker 1: I man explain it. Well. I mean, it's all going
Speaker 1: to be about your dynamic with your individual siblings. I
Speaker 1: think a lot of times you just adjust to the
Speaker 1: different personalities in the dynamic you have with that sibling,
Speaker 1: Like I have three sisters, all with very different personalities,
Speaker 1: so what I give them of myself is different. My
Speaker 1: one sister is very sensitive Casa, and we don't how
Speaker 1: do you spell casa k A s y a k
Speaker 1: A s y asa Okay, And she is just the softest,
Speaker 1: sweetest little thing, but she gets very bogged down with
Speaker 1: anything too emotional, so I keep it very light with her.
Speaker 1: And my sister Kayla, I can talk to about anything,
Speaker 1: like she gets the very gay side of me. She
Speaker 1: will get my unfiltered opinion on her life, and I
Speaker 1: know she's good with that. My sister Brooks, she's older,
Speaker 1: so I'm the one normally like giving her advice. Actually,
Speaker 1: for the first time, we had like a really personal
Speaker 1: conversation about my life recently, and she's like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is such a strange conversation because normally we're talking about
Speaker 1: my stuff and not yours. So I think that it
Speaker 1: really just depends on your relationship with each of those siblings.
Speaker 1: M Yeah, that's actually good advice. Can if I see that.
Speaker 1: With my younger sister Jenny, I have a closer wationship
Speaker 1: with her, but I would just never want to hear
Speaker 1: from her like about her dating life. Like her telling
Speaker 1: me if she's having, you know, intimately something that that's
Speaker 1: just be really weird. Your family is very open with things, yeah,
Speaker 1: are we? Yeah? I guess we are with like sex
Speaker 1: talk and stuff, but only like the girls with the
Speaker 1: girl roles, Like we're not talking to my brothers about
Speaker 1: hooking up. Yeah, Like I just had the best sex.
Speaker 1: But I also just to the point, since this was
Speaker 1: kind of your last note on the gay aspect, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's just such a minor part of those interactions, and
Speaker 1: so I wouldn't let that be what dictates your relationship
Speaker 1: or interaction with your sisters. Like you have to be
Speaker 1: authentically who you are, and that's one area I wouldn't
Speaker 1: want you to like temper or play down just to
Speaker 1: appease someone else. Like if that's you, you need to
Speaker 1: just be you in those relationships, and they all love
Speaker 1: you for that. I would say, you don't have to
Speaker 1: worry about that in those interactions. Yeah, I think the
Speaker 1: most of part would be, like I can't let be
Speaker 1: sure of my grander profile or something like that, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean maybe that's something you keep yourself, though not
Speaker 1: everyone needs to see like the dick pics and I
Speaker 1: think your question. Really at the root of your question, Sergio,
Speaker 1: is the sexual stuff. Are you supposed to share that?
Speaker 1: And the answers no, let's not. Let's go with not
Speaker 1: sharing with your siblings your sexual sexual exactly like the
Speaker 1: meeting someone on grind or those like interactions like you, oh,
Speaker 1: I've met someone on this app, grind, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: you just don't need to say like that you got
Speaker 1: penetrated in the back alley, like you can keep those
Speaker 1: things to yourself. Guy, I'm dating a guy, or I'm
Speaker 1: going on a date, right, going out with a guy? Right, agreed, agreed,
Speaker 1: agreed to wrap on that close Sergio. Alright, fantastic problem.
Speaker 1: Good luck to you, all right, thanks, Words today are
Speaker 1: hard for us, are they? Well? Low hanging fruit, I
Speaker 1: don't I still don't know what phrase not really a
Speaker 1: word though, And that's a combination of words. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: it means a couple of different things. There's a literal
Speaker 1: translation and then there's the metaphorical. Yeah, that's right. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think we should take a quick break. Okay. Our
Speaker 1: next submission is from Jonathan. He's twenty six. He lives
Speaker 1: in California, and he has some issues with his mom.
Speaker 1: His submission says, Dear Chelsea, I came out in two
Speaker 1: thousand and fourteen. My mom tried giving me an ultimatum
Speaker 1: to change or get kicked out. So I tried to change.
Speaker 1: I actually went to convert and therapy. My mom tried
Speaker 1: to get me to go into the military. She made
Speaker 1: me quit work and stay at home for After I
Speaker 1: had enough, I told her that I cannot change for her.
Speaker 1: She got all my stuff and threw it out into
Speaker 1: the garage port. My dad had to come pick me
Speaker 1: up and help me out. About a year later, me
Speaker 1: and my mom kind of got close again. Then someone
Speaker 1: told her about me being to quote unquote out there
Speaker 1: with my sexuality, and she stopped talking to me again.
Speaker 1: Should I ever forgive her if she asks for another chance?
Speaker 1: And he includes a photo of her throwing all of
Speaker 1: his stuff out into the garage port. So, Jonathan, are
Speaker 1: you there? I am here. How are you guys? Hi? Jonathan,
Speaker 1: how do you guys? Day go in? Well, I'm so
Speaker 1: glad that Brandon's here because this seems like another question
Speaker 1: that you should take the lead on, Brandon, because we've
Speaker 1: had a couple of submissions that lean gay. So I've
Speaker 1: been I've been fielding us. You have beautiful teeth, by
Speaker 1: the way, Thank you. I appreciate it. The reason why, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't want to jump in because that's what a
Speaker 1: man would do. A white man would jump in, A
Speaker 1: white straight man would jump in and say, oh, why
Speaker 1: don't I answer this question about being gay in Puerto
Speaker 1: Rican and the Puerto Rican But I'm gay? Well, right,
Speaker 1: but if you were a Puerto Rican and I don't
Speaker 1: want to act like a white man, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, it's bad enough what's going on. But we
Speaker 1: do work in cahoots, so her perspective will also important.
Speaker 1: But I mean, I'm so sorry that this is the
Speaker 1: type of advice that you need. I have a very
Speaker 1: complicated relationship with my mother, so I'm like, I fully
Speaker 1: understand how difficult that dynamic. Can you have to call
Speaker 1: the police on his mother before and he has. It's
Speaker 1: very tricky. And I understand also with the gay aspect
Speaker 1: and their reception of that and how that can also
Speaker 1: burden the relationship even though it shouldn't. So now you're
Speaker 1: responsible for trying to get that relationship back on course
Speaker 1: for something that's you know, natural in regard to everything
Speaker 1: that you went through. After you're coming out, I think
Speaker 1: you really need to let go of so like you
Speaker 1: included the photo, I understand that it was a painful
Speaker 1: situation and to be treated that way and go through
Speaker 1: the conversion therapy and try to fix something that is
Speaker 1: inherent to you. But holding onto that just takes up
Speaker 1: space and it doesn't It doesn't do anything positive for you.
Speaker 1: So the longer you hold on to it, and this
Speaker 1: is just very consistent when people are writing in with
Speaker 1: things that have happened in the past, you have to
Speaker 1: let go of it for yourself, not for your mom.
Speaker 1: She is, you know, irrelevant in this scenario. But if
Speaker 1: you if you harbor those feelings, you know, negative feelings
Speaker 1: towards the circumstances you went through, Like Chelsea says, you
Speaker 1: have to spin it and you have to make that
Speaker 1: a positive thing. Like you went through all this so
Speaker 1: hopefully help someone else. You know, these circumstances and situations
Speaker 1: you're writing in, someone else is experiencing this and hopefully
Speaker 1: we'll take something of it. Who's listening to say, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: try and change who I am for someone else exactly exactly,
Speaker 1: and I think some of the hardest things, Like my
Speaker 1: mom would even say some of the worst things. She
Speaker 1: told me straight to my face, I'd rather have to
Speaker 1: be a drug addictively gay. She told one of her
Speaker 1: friends that this is where things that happens is my
Speaker 1: brother daddy cancer. So all these comparisons, it's just like
Speaker 1: what is honestly going through your own head? You know,
Speaker 1: like that you have such a men, but you can
Speaker 1: see how damaged that person and if they would really
Speaker 1: want you to be a drug addict rather than just
Speaker 1: be happy like who you fund does not affect her.
Speaker 1: And that's just like the fact of the matter, and
Speaker 1: that's something we all have to deal with in the
Speaker 1: l g b t q I A community that why
Speaker 1: is our personal life? So I a what wait, q
Speaker 1: T what l g b t q I A lesbian, gay,
Speaker 1: transgender a sexual intersects you? And now when they're not
Speaker 1: a crossroad in sex intersex And then you said another letter,
Speaker 1: lgbt q I A sexual. What did I miss him? There?
Speaker 1: I missed something, Jonathan, lgbt q I A plus because
Speaker 1: there's so many differences, you said, AI, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I thought you met artificial we don't know, but we're
Speaker 1: just everyone. I know, a I could be a thing
Speaker 1: in the future. You never know. Yeah, you know that's
Speaker 1: something also to hop on, Jonathan. Is that like when
Speaker 1: somebody I also want to ask you about conversion therapy,
Speaker 1: when somebody is really can't give you love or demonstrate love,
Speaker 1: like that's about them, that's more of a reflection of
Speaker 1: them than it has anything to do with you. And
Speaker 1: then what goes on at conversion therapy, at Mike Penn's
Speaker 1: conversion therapy. Oh God, I can't even deal with that guy.
Speaker 1: But so with my mom. Luckily we don't have to anymore.
Speaker 1: My mom would actually send me to our local church
Speaker 1: and I was raised in tatch, Me, which is a
Speaker 1: small town east of bakerstl, California, And pretty much they
Speaker 1: just read me scriptures from the Bible over and over
Speaker 1: and over again, saying this is wrong what you're doing.
Speaker 1: You know, you need to change your ways, You're gonna
Speaker 1: go to hell, like all this stuff, Like God, that
Speaker 1: sounds like a fucking nightmare. Literally two hours a day,
Speaker 1: and my mom sent me to go do that and
Speaker 1: listening to people somebody reading the Bible. Can you think
Speaker 1: of anything more unpleasant. No, but it is so damaging
Speaker 1: to these I mean again, they're just trying to recondition
Speaker 1: something that can't be reconditioned because it's not it's not
Speaker 1: a learned habit, So it's not like a behavior like
Speaker 1: you know, being kind to someone that hopefully you can yeah,
Speaker 1: you threw certain exercises like this is really just it's
Speaker 1: a mental breakdown that they're trying to kind of reduce
Speaker 1: you to your smallest part. But the other aspect of
Speaker 1: this was your relationship with your mom and if you
Speaker 1: should give her another chance, and that's something that no
Speaker 1: one can answer. It's something I go through with my
Speaker 1: sisters on a daily basis because we all have a
Speaker 1: very complicated relationship with my mom. And my response to
Speaker 1: them is always when they call and ask what I
Speaker 1: should do or what they should do in a certain situation,
Speaker 1: is you have to do what feels right to you
Speaker 1: in that moment, because I don't want to give you
Speaker 1: my opinion because it's not how I'm feeling or what
Speaker 1: I'm going through with her. So that's very personal to you.
Speaker 1: But I would say you have to safeguard yourself, and
Speaker 1: that's what I do. So you only give her so
Speaker 1: much so she can't habitually hurt you. And you also
Speaker 1: don't want someone like that to be able to leverage
Speaker 1: your insecurity or your what they perceive as your weaknesses
Speaker 1: to get what they want. So it's all about how
Speaker 1: you enter those interactions and the circumstances you set. So
Speaker 1: for me, like if I was in your position, what
Speaker 1: I would say is until you can verbally accept who
Speaker 1: I am and who I'm going to be with, there
Speaker 1: is no relationship. Definitely, Like that is that is the basis,
Speaker 1: Like that's the least you could do. And once you
Speaker 1: could do that, then we can move forward. And it's
Speaker 1: not going to be easy, but at least then you
Speaker 1: are on level footing with your sexuality. If that's the
Speaker 1: catalyst for all these issues, she either needs to accept
Speaker 1: it or don't. Definitely, And I think the hard part
Speaker 1: is now because so she moved from California all way
Speaker 1: to Wyoming, so she's living her best life there, but
Speaker 1: her my STI my sister all converted to Mormonism. So okay,
Speaker 1: so boring. I have Mormon's in my family. My mom
Speaker 1: was Mormon and my sister was Mormon. She's slowly snapping
Speaker 1: out of it. But my best girlfriend is Mormon and
Speaker 1: she's very Yeah, she lives in a suburb and she
Speaker 1: but she flies a rainbow flag every year for me
Speaker 1: and my partner. Like, she's very progressive. So it seems
Speaker 1: like your mom was like off her rocker before the Mormonism.
Speaker 1: So I mean, it seems like it's probably not going
Speaker 1: to help, but that's something personal to her that like
Speaker 1: no religion should impact her feelings towards her son exactly exactly,
Speaker 1: So Mormon or not, she's dealing with some ship of
Speaker 1: her own. Yeah, yeah, And that's like, you know, growing
Speaker 1: up to listen to Sean Hannity every day, like, and
Speaker 1: I think it was hard because she would always you know,
Speaker 1: use the word fact getting stuff and like me sitting
Speaker 1: in the next her in the car, just knowing what
Speaker 1: her feelings are. I'm like, she's talking about me. And
Speaker 1: so I never brought it up to her attention growing
Speaker 1: up and stuff or you know, I always add even
Speaker 1: had like to hide my voice, could always felt it
Speaker 1: was too feminine and things like that. So now that
Speaker 1: I'm out, though, I'm like so happy and proud, Like
Speaker 1: I've never been happier. I've been healthier. I have never
Speaker 1: been healthier. And yeah, you look healthy and you look
Speaker 1: like you have like a good amount of self confidence.
Speaker 1: So like, go with that. Yeah, don't let her bad
Speaker 1: state of affairs affect your positivity and your vibe, you know,
Speaker 1: because all you can control is your reaction, and so
Speaker 1: let her do her thing, and when she earns the
Speaker 1: right to probably be around you, you'll know exactly. And um,
Speaker 1: you know, I remember some of the things she would
Speaker 1: tell me. She's like, you know, you're not going to
Speaker 1: successful in life. I just graduated last year's my bachelor's,
Speaker 1: I'm doing my masters right now. So it's like, you
Speaker 1: know what, congratulations you guys. And I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: proving it to myself also, you know, in a way,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like in my background, proving her wrong too,
Speaker 1: So it's like, you know, what's step out of time
Speaker 1: doing things for myself and making myself better. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: good for you. That's so unfortunate that you have to
Speaker 1: go prove your mother wrong. But you know what, sometimes
Speaker 1: it's just the motivation you need exactly. I love it
Speaker 1: all right, Well, shaba Alm, it was great talking to you.
Speaker 1: The pleasure talking to you guys, thank you guys so
Speaker 1: much for your time, and I appreciate Yeah, bye, Jonathan.
Speaker 1: I feel like we're saving the world, Brandon, one gay
Speaker 1: man at a time, hopefully. I mean, there are just
Speaker 1: so many issues in the gay community that could be
Speaker 1: an entire episode. Well obviously, I mean, yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: lot to unpack. I mean I still deal with it
Speaker 1: on a daily basis. But what kind of issues are
Speaker 1: you dealing with on a daily basis? I mean, like
Speaker 1: body issues. I think that's a huge one in the
Speaker 1: gay community, just the expectation of what you should look like,
Speaker 1: because most gay men are under armored mannequins brought to life,
Speaker 1: right right, Well, same thing for girls. You know, who's
Speaker 1: not suffering from that body dysmorphia and body image problems?
Speaker 1: White males and white men, white men over fifty, they're
Speaker 1: not suffering from that. There's nothing more upsetting to me
Speaker 1: than when I see this beautiful woman who you know
Speaker 1: takes the time to maintain herself. It's you And they
Speaker 1: have to fuck these men who they married twenty years ago,
Speaker 1: who are probably like fine shape, but then just let
Speaker 1: themselves go like, oh it's not my it's a woman's
Speaker 1: responsibility to uphold herself. But I can look like a
Speaker 1: garbage back fucking pig. It's my legs splayed open on
Speaker 1: a sofa, you know. Like men should do whatever they
Speaker 1: can to avoid women from ever seeing the outline of
Speaker 1: the other balls. And that means sitting in a way
Speaker 1: that no one will see your balls. And when men
Speaker 1: disrespect that silent rule that we thought we had an agreement,
Speaker 1: but we don't. As usual, it's just just another thing
Speaker 1: that men don't want to be understanding. That's why you
Speaker 1: can't have a lazy boy in your house. I mean,
Speaker 1: as soon as you incorporate a fucking recliner, yeah, then
Speaker 1: things get real dicey, real fast. I bet your dad
Speaker 1: out of recliner. He did my dad out of recliner,
Speaker 1: of course he did. Oh yeah. I could just see
Speaker 1: him sitting in that right now. That is the furniture
Speaker 1: embodiment of men. He would sit there on a Sunday
Speaker 1: morning with like a bagel, you know. My mom would
Speaker 1: make him a bagel with like locks and cream cheese,
Speaker 1: and he would put it on the armchair, have the
Speaker 1: New York Times splayed out, and just be like sitting
Speaker 1: there like a fucking king, you know, well, my mom
Speaker 1: did everything and we had a nice lazy Sunday, but
Speaker 1: just eating, you know, putting the plate on his stomach
Speaker 1: and then reading the paper all at the same time.
Speaker 1: Oh you know what I just thought of? So girls,
Speaker 1: these men who like in the gym, in the locker room,
Speaker 1: these older men who walk around, you know, they're doing
Speaker 1: it at their house too. Is they put these boxes
Speaker 1: on and they're like balls or can you not please?
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want to even have this kind
Speaker 1: of imagery right now. I mean I just said I
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about balls at all, and now
Speaker 1: you're making me think at around. As soon as you
Speaker 1: say old men and lockers, I think of ball plison.
Speaker 1: I don't want to. So let's steer this in a
Speaker 1: different direction. Well it's actually a rap on the show
Speaker 1: for today. Okay, Well that's perfect timing. So let's go
Speaker 1: out on that no balls Thursday. For anyone who does
Speaker 1: want to write in, they can do that at Dear
Speaker 1: Chelsea Project d E A R C H E L
Speaker 1: S E A P R O j E C T
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's wonderful