1
00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:06,280
Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. In this episode, our Love Stories series

2
00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:11,399
Speaker 1: continues and up next doctor Jeff Gardier, doctor Amber Brody.

3
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:17,160
Speaker 1: He's black, she's white, she's Jewish, he's not. They're twenty

4
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:21,520
Speaker 1: seven years at bard in age and they are newlyweds.

5
00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:25,280
Speaker 1: Welcome everybody to this special Cuffing season edition of Amy

6
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,160
Speaker 1: and Tjay and Rope. To Anybody who's familiar with our

7
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:32,600
Speaker 1: podcast over the past year, knows doctor Guardier and knows

8
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,680
Speaker 1: that we adored as dude.

9
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:37,120
Speaker 2: We do, and we have leaned on him for more

10
00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:39,920
Speaker 2: than a decade now, but especially in the last couple

11
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:44,360
Speaker 2: of years. He is known as America's psychologist. He talks

12
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:47,320
Speaker 2: us through the tough times in this world, but also

13
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:52,280
Speaker 2: talks about relationships. He is a relationship expert. In fact,

14
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,480
Speaker 2: it's funny because any of you who might have a

15
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,920
Speaker 2: therapist or someone who you lean on for advice, you

16
00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:02,080
Speaker 2: almost sometimes feel like you can't ask them about their

17
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,000
Speaker 2: life or about what their relationship is like. So I

18
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:10,000
Speaker 2: actually really didn't know that much about doctor Gardier's personal life,

19
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,360
Speaker 2: and we've known his due twenty years.

20
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,320
Speaker 1: I mean, just going back to our days and cable news,

21
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,319
Speaker 1: you've been interviewing this guy for a long long time,

22
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,720
Speaker 1: was not that familiar with his personal life. No, he

23
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,600
Speaker 1: used to talk about it, his wife and this and that.

24
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:23,480
Speaker 1: We hear this all the time who he's with, but

25
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,880
Speaker 1: we never put it all together.

26
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,600
Speaker 2: We knew he was divorced, and we knew he was

27
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,199
Speaker 2: with someone else, but other than that, we never really

28
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,679
Speaker 2: pride or leaned in on that because we just didn't

29
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:36,600
Speaker 2: feel We felt like there was a boundary, okay, healthy boundary.

30
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,679
Speaker 1: We got to lean in recently because we went to

31
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:39,080
Speaker 1: his wedding.

32
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,480
Speaker 2: Yes, we got the invitation. We thought, well, this is

33
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,360
Speaker 2: an invitation to more than just a wedding. We can

34
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,520
Speaker 2: start asking questions.

35
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,480
Speaker 1: So we did, and you know what we found out.

36
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:54,720
Speaker 1: We found out that there is nearly a three decade

37
00:01:55,120 --> 00:02:00,080
Speaker 1: age difference between doctor Gardier and his wife, and they

38
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,640
Speaker 1: love talking about it. It seems they love giving each

39
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,960
Speaker 1: other hell about it. They love even at the wedding,

40
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,359
Speaker 1: it was a part of the vows, even the ceremony.

41
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:11,800
Speaker 1: They cracked little jokes about it.

42
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,320
Speaker 2: So I didn't know what to expect going to the

43
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,480
Speaker 2: wedding or even meeting his better half. I think he

44
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:22,480
Speaker 2: would say that for sure, they're both doctors. Doctor Jeff Gardier,

45
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,000
Speaker 2: doctor Amber Brodie. She's a physician. Of course we mentioned

46
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:29,720
Speaker 2: he's America psychologist, but yeah, she's twenty seven years younger

47
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:35,959
Speaker 2: than him. And this wedding was incredible what it brought

48
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:40,160
Speaker 2: together and their level of comfort. Look, these two have

49
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:43,040
Speaker 2: been together for more than a decade, they have two

50
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,720
Speaker 2: children together, and they just recently, as we pointed out,

51
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:50,560
Speaker 2: decided to actually make it official and get married. So

52
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:54,960
Speaker 2: we wanted to ask them all the questions that one

53
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:59,080
Speaker 2: would have about anyone, but specifically their situation.

54
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we ask them, as we've been doing in

55
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,480
Speaker 1: our series, the exact same list of questions that we've

56
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:10,280
Speaker 1: asked all of our couples, and their answers were fascinating,

57
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,120
Speaker 1: same questions, how often do you fight, you go to

58
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:15,280
Speaker 1: bed angry? Who handles the household chores? But the questions

59
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,680
Speaker 1: got interesting when it turned to age, when it turned

60
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:24,160
Speaker 1: to certain things that it turned to family accepting a relationship,

61
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,680
Speaker 1: things got a little interesting.

62
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,320
Speaker 2: They certainly did, and I have to say surprising I

63
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,480
Speaker 2: And you know, I always think it's interesting when you're

64
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:37,559
Speaker 2: asking a doctor who counsels other people on their relationships

65
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:41,680
Speaker 2: about his own relationship, and no matter what he says, Oh,

66
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,440
Speaker 2: you've got Wifey right there to tell him that's not

67
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,280
Speaker 2: exactly what happened. We saw that happen quite a bit.

68
00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:50,119
Speaker 2: It was amazing. I mean think about it. If you've

69
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,520
Speaker 2: ever been in any therapy, can you imagine turning the

70
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,200
Speaker 2: tables on your therapist. That's exactly what we got to

71
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,720
Speaker 2: do in this episode.

72
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what, the folks, we can tell

73
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,880
Speaker 1: you this is is one of our favorites and one

74
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,880
Speaker 1: of the most enjoyable, and I think you're going to

75
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,360
Speaker 1: find it to be as well. In this entire series

76
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,040
Speaker 1: we've been doing. Again, reminded we drop a new one

77
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,560
Speaker 1: every day of the week leading up to Valentine's Day

78
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,359
Speaker 1: and today, enjoy it because we got a treat for you.

79
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,640
Speaker 1: Doctor Jeff Guardier and doctor Amber Brody. Take a listen

80
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:20,839
Speaker 1: to our conversation.

81
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,400
Speaker 2: And we have the doctors with us right now, Doctor

82
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:30,640
Speaker 2: Jeff Guardier and his beautiful bride, doctor Amber Brody. Thank

83
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,200
Speaker 2: you for being with us, guys.

84
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,520
Speaker 3: Thank you, thanks for having us. Great to be on

85
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:36,640
Speaker 3: with both of you.

86
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, and well we should apologize to Amber. We've had

87
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,440
Speaker 1: doctor Guardia on several times. We didn't extend an invitation

88
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,280
Speaker 1: to the amber until now that's our bad. That's our bad.

89
00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:48,680
Speaker 2: Isn't it fun though? To be able to turn the

90
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:54,800
Speaker 2: tables and ask the therapist questions about his relationship. I've

91
00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:56,479
Speaker 2: really been looking forward to this one.

92
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,880
Speaker 3: Guys. That's why my hands are shaving.

93
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,720
Speaker 2: Well, we'll dig right in. So the first question is

94
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,000
Speaker 2: the one that we ask everyone to start off with.

95
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,480
Speaker 2: And I love this both of you. If you would

96
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:12,280
Speaker 2: give us three words to describe your relationship right now,

97
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:13,560
Speaker 2: Jeff will start with.

98
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:20,680
Speaker 3: You, Friendship, loving, passion.

99
00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:28,360
Speaker 4: Those are good ones. Can I say?

100
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:29,880
Speaker 3: You could say anything you want?

101
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:42,240
Speaker 5: You can even gold, fabulous, envious, a nice and.

102
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,760
Speaker 1: Kind and kind. Now I have to say this first

103
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:47,760
Speaker 1: time we've heard envious of them? Now, why did you

104
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,880
Speaker 1: pick that one? I'm curious envious? Where did they come?

105
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:56,760
Speaker 4: Envy of everyone?

106
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:57,960
Speaker 6: That's all.

107
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,000
Speaker 4: Envious?

108
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,359
Speaker 6: I don't know when I feel that. When we're with

109
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,480
Speaker 6: other couples, I feel that we're very lucky.

110
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:09,720
Speaker 3: That yeah, but they're not'm envious. They may be questioning, like,

111
00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:12,240
Speaker 3: what the hell is he dealing with?

112
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:12,560
Speaker 6: Her?

113
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:14,440
Speaker 3: Vice versa?

114
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,320
Speaker 1: Those these are her words, these are her words. Let

115
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,000
Speaker 1: her have a word.

116
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,080
Speaker 2: She's pinching his cheek right now. It's great.

117
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,479
Speaker 4: I'm old to stop saying old, by the way.

118
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,680
Speaker 6: Relative really, and most of the people I spend my

119
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,760
Speaker 6: days with are you know, between eighty and one hundred.

120
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,840
Speaker 6: So every time I come home Monday through Friday, there's

121
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,080
Speaker 6: this young, dapper gentleman.

122
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,000
Speaker 3: And I'm only ten years younger than that.

123
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,280
Speaker 1: That is awesome. Okay, we're going to get into it

124
00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:43,520
Speaker 1: because that questions on here as well. But the next question,

125
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,159
Speaker 1: I'll start with you on this one, Amber. Was there

126
00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:50,239
Speaker 1: immediate chemistry when you two first met?

127
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,400
Speaker 4: Now, well, and I think that's a good thing.

128
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,360
Speaker 6: I think that you know, when flames burned too hot,

129
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,600
Speaker 6: they tend to burn out.

130
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:03,280
Speaker 3: As at the beginning, Yeah, so at the beginning.

131
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,159
Speaker 6: The fact that we had a nice concrete base and

132
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,839
Speaker 6: foundation of a friendship to work with.

133
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,200
Speaker 4: When suddenly there was a flame, it was it was.

134
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,720
Speaker 3: And it wasn't my flame.

135
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,960
Speaker 7: It was her flame, right, it was her flame, not

136
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:17,600
Speaker 7: my flame.

137
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:18,200
Speaker 4: It was easy.

138
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,880
Speaker 7: There was there was no attraction, there was nothing going on.

139
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:26,040
Speaker 7: We were nothing but colleagues, and then from colleagues we

140
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,960
Speaker 7: became friends.

141
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:32,400
Speaker 2: Wow, that sounds really familiar. We were also on.

142
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,240
Speaker 3: The slop story.

143
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:40,880
Speaker 2: Yes, so who ultimately ended up saying I love you first?

144
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:46,880
Speaker 4: That was me, yes, and it must have been that.

145
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,240
Speaker 4: I don't know. I've heard the term and I've mentioned

146
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:52,760
Speaker 4: it to our rabbi as well.

147
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:56,040
Speaker 6: Godsmack where you're just going about your business and all

148
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:56,880
Speaker 6: of a sudden you're.

149
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,720
Speaker 4: Just like, oh God, I love him?

150
00:07:59,080 --> 00:07:59,720
Speaker 3: What do I do?

151
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,360
Speaker 4: Like that really actually happened.

152
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,760
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I'm so relating with you. I felt the

153
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,200
Speaker 2: same way. You're like, wait a minute, when did this happen?

154
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,240
Speaker 2: How did this happen? But it's definitely happening.

155
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:13,760
Speaker 3: Didn't I do.

156
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,960
Speaker 7: That therapy session with you guys on your podcast?

157
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:17,480
Speaker 3: Right?

158
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,400
Speaker 1: We don't want to call it a therapy session. We

159
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,400
Speaker 1: had you as a guest.

160
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,240
Speaker 2: Okay, it turned into a therapy so we talked.

161
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,440
Speaker 1: Some things out, all right, Next question here, how long

162
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,440
Speaker 1: did you date before you got engaged? How long were

163
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,240
Speaker 1: you engaged before you got married?

164
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:32,560
Speaker 3: Okay?

165
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,520
Speaker 7: We dated for a very short period of time, right,

166
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,960
Speaker 7: and we were friends first for how many colleagues and

167
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,280
Speaker 7: friends for about what three years?

168
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,960
Speaker 4: He says for years, but I think it was six months.

169
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,480
Speaker 1: Now that's a big discrepancy, guys.

170
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,400
Speaker 6: What Well, if you look at our daughter who was

171
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:53,760
Speaker 6: born at a particular time.

172
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,400
Speaker 3: When did we start working at the medical school. It's great,

173
00:08:56,559 --> 00:08:57,040
Speaker 3: I gether.

174
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,920
Speaker 4: I came there in twenty thirteen.

175
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, we were like, we saw each other like for

176
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,320
Speaker 6: a half of a semester in the spring.

177
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,760
Speaker 3: Semester, so we knew each other.

178
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,719
Speaker 4: We all like of each other. And then someone made us.

179
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,679
Speaker 7: Work on it for a couple of years and then

180
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,280
Speaker 7: we started teaching together.

181
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:18,079
Speaker 4: I started working there July of twenty thirteen.

182
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,640
Speaker 6: I moved from my hometown of Philly, Go Eagles to

183
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:27,600
Speaker 6: New York. And our daughter was born March of fifteen. Okay,

184
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,959
Speaker 6: so there's no couple of years.

185
00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:34,160
Speaker 7: There, all right, So this is confusing. So what happened

186
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,520
Speaker 7: was we worked together at the medical school.

187
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:41,480
Speaker 3: We knew of one another for maybe two three years

188
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:42,280
Speaker 3: you were.

189
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,280
Speaker 4: There, No, three years later Noble was born.

190
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,199
Speaker 3: Okay, so you were there for some period of time,

191
00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:48,079
Speaker 3: not long.

192
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,440
Speaker 4: I started there in twenty thirteen.

193
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,680
Speaker 6: So anyway, we had to work on a lecture and

194
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,559
Speaker 6: then I fell in love with him, and then.

195
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,480
Speaker 3: We it was bringing me lunch.

196
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,319
Speaker 7: It was bringing me lunch, and all the secretary usual

197
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,440
Speaker 7: laughing because they were like, you don't know what's going on.

198
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,199
Speaker 3: And I was like I have no idea of what's

199
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,040
Speaker 3: going on. Okay, this is.

200
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:12,520
Speaker 7: A colleague, you know, I'm not getting involved with the colleague.

201
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:16,559
Speaker 7: And I was actually helping Jay dates Jewish days.

202
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,760
Speaker 3: I was her going on dates and we.

203
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,680
Speaker 6: Work on our lectures together and our powerpoints and be like,

204
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,400
Speaker 6: let's go get a beer, okay.

205
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,880
Speaker 4: And then I was showing him how to use Tinder.

206
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:32,040
Speaker 6: The apps wipe lefts, wipe right, and he goes to me,

207
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,600
Speaker 6: I can't put my face on there, and I'm going,

208
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:39,000
Speaker 6: what's wrong with your face? I didn't know who he was.

209
00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:49,880
Speaker 4: He was just you know, a.

210
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,400
Speaker 3: Lot of people don't know who I am.

211
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,720
Speaker 7: So anyway, long stories, because we know we're eating up

212
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:57,680
Speaker 7: valuable time.

213
00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,080
Speaker 1: This is great stuff.

214
00:10:59,120 --> 00:10:59,480
Speaker 3: I love it.

215
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:05,000
Speaker 7: She invited me after I went through you know, Jay

216
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,600
Speaker 7: dates with her, you know, helping her pick her.

217
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,640
Speaker 4: Dates, and saw me, how was your date?

218
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,040
Speaker 3: How was your date last night? How was it?

219
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,520
Speaker 7: And then so one day she said, meet me at

220
00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:18,839
Speaker 7: this restaurant in Harlem because we used to have Martini's

221
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:23,720
Speaker 7: and clams there, oysters, you know, just as colleagues to discuss,

222
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,719
Speaker 7: you know, the lectures. And then she said, I think

223
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:30,080
Speaker 7: we should be together forever. That was the pitch. That

224
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,960
Speaker 7: was the proposal. I said, absolutely.

225
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:37,559
Speaker 3: Not, you're too young. I'm not gonna do it. Instead,

226
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,400
Speaker 3: I'll give you more children.

227
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,280
Speaker 7: And then she said I'll change your diapers because I'm

228
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,600
Speaker 7: a jenius when the time comes.

229
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,119
Speaker 3: And I said, okay, only.

230
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,439
Speaker 4: The first that was true.

231
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,160
Speaker 2: What what did he say, Amberwyn? You said that to him?

232
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,920
Speaker 6: He was pretty silent, but put his hand on my

233
00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,520
Speaker 6: leg and said okay.

234
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,640
Speaker 2: And that was that wow, And I.

235
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:07,040
Speaker 7: Said, okay, what am I doing for the next twenty years?

236
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,000
Speaker 3: All right? Fine?

237
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,120
Speaker 7: Just like that, I stepped out on faith Amy and TJ.

238
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,760
Speaker 7: I was like, okay, we're friends, we know one another.

239
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,560
Speaker 7: She seems to be a very nice person, you know,

240
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,640
Speaker 7: why not? And it worked out really well because I

241
00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:30,000
Speaker 7: had four children. She immediately fell into the group. You know,

242
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,960
Speaker 7: they got along except for one child who was like but.

243
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,240
Speaker 4: She screamed for like an hour.

244
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:40,240
Speaker 7: Well because she's closer to your age, right, and so

245
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:44,000
Speaker 7: after that was settled. But she's been an incredible mother

246
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:48,080
Speaker 7: along with their mother, who is an incredible mother and team.

247
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,400
Speaker 7: And then we had two more and that's how we're together.

248
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,679
Speaker 7: And we've been together now. We lived in sin for

249
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,880
Speaker 7: ten years and then we finally officially got married. Where

250
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,880
Speaker 7: you guys, we we could tell folks you were there, yes,

251
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,360
Speaker 7: at our wedding. It was the first Jewish wedding in

252
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,960
Speaker 7: the Malcolm x Betty Shabbaz Center in the Muslim Center,

253
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:10,839
Speaker 7: so we're proud of that.

254
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,319
Speaker 2: It was the most well, it was beautiful and it

255
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,760
Speaker 2: was incredible, but it was definitely because of what you

256
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,200
Speaker 2: just mentioned, one of the most unique weddings I've ever

257
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,280
Speaker 2: been to in my life. To see all the different

258
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:23,160
Speaker 2: and how cool is that all the different religions and

259
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,200
Speaker 2: backgrounds and ages all coming together to celebrate your love.

260
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:31,480
Speaker 7: It was absolutely race, religion, political affiliations.

261
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,520
Speaker 4: Nice mix there, Yeah, it was a very nice, nice mix.

262
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:40,600
Speaker 7: But we had we had Democrats, Republicans.

263
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,680
Speaker 2: Oh man, you were the tie that binded them all together.

264
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,319
Speaker 3: Publicans. That's why we didn't talk about politics.

265
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,160
Speaker 2: All Right, we've alluded. We've alluded to it quite a bit.

266
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,600
Speaker 2: But go ahead and tell us what is your age

267
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,719
Speaker 2: difference and has that had an impact on your relationship?

268
00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:01,640
Speaker 6: We are twenty seven years in a separation.

269
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,720
Speaker 4: We always laugh that he got his.

270
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:08,920
Speaker 6: PhD the year I was born, If that puts any

271
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:09,960
Speaker 6: perspective on it.

272
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,400
Speaker 4: That's quite impressive. Like you were a doctor.

273
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,199
Speaker 6: I was in diapers.

274
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,600
Speaker 7: You know, I think the important thing here, you know,

275
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,680
Speaker 7: and I point this out to a lot of folks.

276
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,080
Speaker 7: You know, this was not a vanity project. It's not

277
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,320
Speaker 7: about looking for someone, you know, as an older person,

278
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:32,720
Speaker 7: younger than myself. It just, you know, everything just fell

279
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:36,360
Speaker 7: in place in that way. I would have preferred to

280
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,040
Speaker 7: be with someone of my own age, but you know,

281
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,360
Speaker 7: she's very mature, so it worked out.

282
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,800
Speaker 1: And we should say you all fully embrace and have

283
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,720
Speaker 1: fun with and even you Amber at the wedding where

284
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,080
Speaker 1: you also were making jokes up there at the altar

285
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,320
Speaker 1: were as you were getting married, so you.

286
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,040
Speaker 4: All not laugh and you'd be crying, right, honey, that's

287
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:55,560
Speaker 4: what he says.

288
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,800
Speaker 7: Well, yeah, I mean we you know, we talk about,

289
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,480
Speaker 7: you know, our first date. It was the three of

290
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,200
Speaker 7: us and it were like, what do you mean the

291
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:05,920
Speaker 7: three of us? That was me, you and my walker.

292
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,680
Speaker 1: You're holding yourself, doctor GUARDI are you a good looking

293
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,400
Speaker 1: I am you're not good looking for your age. You're

294
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:17,240
Speaker 1: good looking, okay.

295
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:16,240
Speaker 3: Person, I've said her.

296
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,720
Speaker 7: If you're going to put me in a nursing home

297
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,479
Speaker 7: later on, because you're a geriatrician. I'm getting a girlfriend

298
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:26,400
Speaker 7: in that nursing home, I said, because I'm walking in there.

299
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,400
Speaker 7: And if you walk into a nursing home at a

300
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,680
Speaker 7: certain age, you know what they say.

301
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:33,840
Speaker 1: Hey, sexy, I thought you're going to say you ain't

302
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,280
Speaker 1: walking out, so I will say.

303
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,960
Speaker 4: You did ask. The second part of that question was

304
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,120
Speaker 4: on the relationship.

305
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,000
Speaker 6: The I only kind of just notice the difference, Like

306
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 6: he'll talk about something that happened in the past, and

307
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,440
Speaker 6: I will have zero recollection because it happened before I

308
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:50,960
Speaker 6: was born.

309
00:15:52,200 --> 00:16:00,280
Speaker 7: So I'm as far as music and culture and so on. Yeah,

310
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,760
Speaker 7: she had no idea who topo GJ was.

311
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,560
Speaker 3: For example, remember.

312
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:08,400
Speaker 7: That Sullivan to GJ.

313
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,000
Speaker 1: Okay, you got me even at Sullivan.

314
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,320
Speaker 3: Well, I'm much older than you guys.

315
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,720
Speaker 4: Do you guys have an age gap as well?

316
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:20,000
Speaker 2: Right, yes, I'm four and a half years older than TEJ.

317
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:24,480
Speaker 1: Four and a half? What is she twelve? Who uses age?

318
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:26,560
Speaker 3: That's not an age gap?

319
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,440
Speaker 1: But Amber too, You got me be because I used

320
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,440
Speaker 1: this line all the time I was in junior high

321
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,040
Speaker 1: school when she was in college.

322
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,880
Speaker 2: You know what the see But no, but he's saying

323
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,400
Speaker 2: ninth grade and I was a freshman in college. Ninth

324
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 2: grade was high school where I went to school. So

325
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,760
Speaker 2: he likes to be dramatic and say it was junior high.

326
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,440
Speaker 1: Again, a factual statement. I was in junior high school

327
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,360
Speaker 1: when she was in college, and we'll leave it to there.

328
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,800
Speaker 2: And then I just say, lucky you.

329
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,400
Speaker 3: Love you, TJ. Lucky you. That's right.

330
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,200
Speaker 2: So why did you guys want to get married? You

331
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:03,120
Speaker 2: had been together for ten years? Why was it important

332
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,000
Speaker 2: to be married? And what do you think your relationship

333
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,560
Speaker 2: would be like if you just chose to stay together

334
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:13,200
Speaker 2: but be unmarried, Like why was the ring important?

335
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,520
Speaker 3: I don't even know that was your decision to get married.

336
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,959
Speaker 6: I figure if there was a zombie apocalypse tomorrow and

337
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,359
Speaker 6: I never got to be a bride, that would be

338
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:28,439
Speaker 6: a damn shape. I've spent my whole life, you know.

339
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:33,000
Speaker 6: I think honestly, if you recall that movie twenty seven Dresses,

340
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:39,280
Speaker 6: that was me, you know, going through college, then med school,

341
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,080
Speaker 6: then residency and fellowship.

342
00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:42,400
Speaker 4: I did not graduate from my.

343
00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:46,560
Speaker 6: Training till thirty one, so there was no serious relationships

344
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,359
Speaker 6: and I was the perpetual bridesmaid.

345
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 2: That makes sense.

346
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,640
Speaker 4: I also do recall that.

347
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,040
Speaker 6: Sex in the City line that Miranda gave when she

348
00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,840
Speaker 6: was about to marry Steve, and she said, I think

349
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,879
Speaker 6: it's important to stand there in front of the people

350
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,640
Speaker 6: you love and say those words.

351
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 7: And that she's not giving you guys any advice, by.

352
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,400
Speaker 2: The way, you know, I like that though.

353
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,280
Speaker 1: It's very good. That's one of the better arguments I've heard.

354
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,080
Speaker 6: Stuck with Nate, because at first Miranda did not She

355
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,919
Speaker 6: was like, that's ridiculous. And then she was like, you

356
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,680
Speaker 6: know what, it is important to stand in front of

357
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,199
Speaker 6: those you love and say those words out loud to

358
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:22,880
Speaker 6: the one you love.

359
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,200
Speaker 4: And so I wanted to do.

360
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,879
Speaker 3: That, okay, and we did it. We did it, We

361
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,160
Speaker 3: did it. Yeah.

362
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,560
Speaker 7: And then she had the nerve to renovate our apartment

363
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,800
Speaker 7: in the same year as that wedding. And I looked

364
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,560
Speaker 7: at my bank account and I was like, what happened

365
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:40,119
Speaker 7: to the money?

366
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,480
Speaker 3: She said, besting in our future.

367
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 5: I'm like, Okay, the money's still there, all right, all right,

368
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:49,119
Speaker 5: all right, okay.

369
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,880
Speaker 1: Next next question for you to did your relationship have

370
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,160
Speaker 1: the full support of your friends and family?

371
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,560
Speaker 3: Oh? You had to go there, right, It's on the

372
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,879
Speaker 3: list how.

373
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,040
Speaker 7: To go there? Well, you want to share. I think

374
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 7: we can share what we found out.

375
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 4: On the We found out on the honeymoon.

376
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,879
Speaker 7: What I mean, we found out. Oh no, you didn't

377
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 7: know either about your brother. No, that story? Yeah, you

378
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,959
Speaker 7: want to tell that story? Should we tell that story?

379
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:20,359
Speaker 1: Please?

380
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:21,760
Speaker 3: All right?

381
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,920
Speaker 7: This was a big family secret that they finally revealed.

382
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:26,240
Speaker 3: Go ahead, tell the story.

383
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:31,959
Speaker 6: From what I got gathered, the family told me that

384
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,919
Speaker 6: they had like had a meeting to get together and

385
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,000
Speaker 6: how are we going to set.

386
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:40,679
Speaker 7: So they had an intervention, all right, they had an

387
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 7: intervention on zoom or telephone, yes, where they said Amber

388
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:51,840
Speaker 7: has lost her mind. She's gotten together with the senior citizen,

389
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 7: and you know, we've got to stop this from happening.

390
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 7: What is happening with her?

391
00:19:59,359 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 3: You know?

392
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:04,359
Speaker 7: And so they tried to figure out whether she was

393
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 7: mentally stable or not.

394
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 2: No, that's that's serious.

395
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 7: Keep in mind, and that bet we all get along.

396
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 7: I love her brother, Her brother loves me.

397
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,840
Speaker 3: Where we're doing, Okay?

398
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 4: Ten years ago this happened a long, long, long time.

399
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,119
Speaker 3: And now things have changed a lot.

400
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 7: And her family has been on both sides, her mother's

401
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 7: side of the family, her father's side of the family.

402
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 7: They're very embracing, very wonderful, you know, very.

403
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,160
Speaker 4: Happy and all is well.

404
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 6: Had that being said, they did admit to us that

405
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,240
Speaker 6: that had occurred, and I did.

406
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:38,640
Speaker 2: Not know that.

407
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 1: Wow.

408
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,879
Speaker 2: I mean the cool thing is they've come around and

409
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 2: look at you now, and that's awesome. Exactly exactly. How

410
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 2: would you this was the next question, but this will

411
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,439
Speaker 2: be slightly amended for y'all because you're newlyweds. But how

412
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 2: would you describe your first year of marriage? I would ask,

413
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 2: how is your relationship now that you're married? Has it changed?

414
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 6: Gonna say no, because I always felt married to you.

415
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 7: Yeah, I would agree, But I think it's the years

416
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 7: have gone by Amy and TJ that I think we

417
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:20,440
Speaker 7: get more and more romantic and more into the first

418
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 7: couple of years were more about friendship, being best friends

419
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 7: and changing diapers yeah, and supporting one another two Yeah.

420
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:33,159
Speaker 7: But now we have really taken the time to be

421
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,640
Speaker 7: We've always been kind to one another, but even kinder

422
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,600
Speaker 7: and more romantic. We make it. We make it a job.

423
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 7: And what I mean by that is, well, but it's

424
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,640
Speaker 7: you know, if you talk the talk, you walk the walk.

425
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:51,359
Speaker 7: When I work with with couples, I say, you know,

426
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,880
Speaker 7: it's really important that you do the necessary things. Check

427
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 7: off the boxes every day, A hug, a touch on

428
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 7: the shoulder, a kiss.

429
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,159
Speaker 3: Saying I love you.

430
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 7: Even if you're not feeling it, you should do it.

431
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 7: So we make it a job. We and but it's

432
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 7: it's it's it's great work. If you can get it right.

433
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 1: You follow your own advice. That's good to hear.

434
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 2: Yes, I do, he does, all right. I disclosure on

435
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,919
Speaker 2: this next question because we've asked everyone this and you

436
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 2: can answer it however you'd like. But how would you

437
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 2: describe your sex life?

438
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:31,359
Speaker 4: Wonderful?

439
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 3: I think it's one.

440
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 7: You know, the word I would use is very intimate.

441
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 7: It's very intimate in that it's something just for us.

442
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 7: It's something where it's not just a physical, you know, interaction,

443
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 7: but an emotional and spiritual interaction.

444
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,880
Speaker 3: Wouldn't you say it's something that is so.

445
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 7: It just it's it's gorgeous everything yet expresses love on

446
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 7: many different levels.

447
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 4: Good, great, wonderful.

448
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,320
Speaker 1: Next question here. I know you'll kind of hit on

449
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 1: this already because you talking about just a simple touch

450
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 1: on the shoulder, a hug or kiss. But how important

451
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 1: is physical touch in your relationship? And kind of specifically

452
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 1: do you hold hands when you're just randomly walking down

453
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:27,440
Speaker 1: the street.

454
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,360
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, we even hold hands in the house.

455
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 6: If we get a minute to sit down next to

456
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 6: each other and the kids are not driving, it's crazy.

457
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 4: And if we're sitting down next to each other, we

458
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 4: are holding hands.

459
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,440
Speaker 7: Yeah, but we do have to tell them about your

460
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 7: aversion to sentimental Sundays.

461
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 2: Wow.

462
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 7: So on Sunday, when we're having dinner and a glass

463
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 7: of red wine, I'll tell her, you know, isn't it

464
00:23:54,600 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 7: wonderful that the most improbable relationship the couple people never

465
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 7: thought could happen? You know, how is it that we're together?

466
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 7: Isn't it strange but wonderful? She'll say, Oh, it's sentimental Sundays,

467
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 7: isn't it.

468
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 3: She said.

469
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 6: I always tell him he's more of a communicator than I,

470
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 6: which is a good thing. He thinks something and it

471
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 6: comes out, or he feels an emotion and it comes.

472
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 4: Out and he shows it, whereas I'm just like, oh,

473
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 4: I'm so lucky and great and I love Jeff so much.

474
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,679
Speaker 6: But I'll just be like saying it while scrambling eggs,

475
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 6: like I don't say.

476
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 7: It, but she says, but she says it while scrambling eggs.

477
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 7: Because we don't know how much longer we'll have with

478
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 7: eggs meaning to it?

479
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. On the flip side, how often do

480
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 2: you all fight or have an argument?

481
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 3: Rarely?

482
00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 4: If I were to quantify it, I'd say twice the year.

483
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,160
Speaker 2: Of Wow, was it always like that?

484
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 3: Pretty much?

485
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 7: And when we do, when we do argue or have

486
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 7: a disagreement, I think we solve it within what thirty minutes?

487
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,639
Speaker 3: Fifty? Not even that's amazing.

488
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 1: What do you fight?

489
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 3: I think? But I think that I think the reason

490
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 3: is amy.

491
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 7: It's the difference in the ages. I think that makes

492
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,360
Speaker 7: a difference. You know, I often said to her, if

493
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 7: you married someone in your own age, you might be

494
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 7: divorced by now I have the patience of ah.

495
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 1: Ah, this is all coming together.

496
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 2: Now do you what what when you do fight? What

497
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,400
Speaker 2: do you fight about? Most?

498
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 3: Oh? I have an answer, but go ahead. What do

499
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 3: you think? What do you fight about? Most?

500
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 4: I don't have an answer.

501
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 3: Okay, I have an answer. Time.

502
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 4: Oh I'm always running.

503
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:08,360
Speaker 7: Late, like this morning, Like when we went on that cruise,

504
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 7: I said, listen, the boat leaves, the ship leaves at

505
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 7: one or two o'clock. Let's get there by eleven. We

506
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 7: got there five minutes to two. Don't get me started.

507
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 4: No, that's not true. We made it the way, all right.

508
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 3: We got there by one o'clock.

509
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 4: I made you know.

510
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 7: I don't take those kinds of chances.

511
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 3: He's operating on. Is there something resonating here with you?

512
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,680
Speaker 1: Yes, we do that. But but dogs the guard deer

513
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 1: we have, we had this issue. But I give her credit.

514
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,480
Speaker 1: She is now completely on her own. She will start

515
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 1: because you know what, it's it's bitten there in the

516
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 1: butt a couple of times to where she ends up

517
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:53,360
Speaker 1: panicked or stressed because maybe there's the first uber canceled,

518
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 1: or maybe there was a flat tire, maybe there was

519
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,919
Speaker 1: traffic you didn't anticipate. So she is seen where the

520
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 1: value is in making sure you're always always early.

521
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:06,719
Speaker 3: But isn't But isn't that the cosmic joke though? TJ.

522
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 3: People who look like you and I are.

523
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 7: Always labeled as folks not being on times. Look who

524
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 7: we're with, and they're the ones who are always late.

525
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 2: Yes, that's true.

526
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: They own white people times right.

527
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 2: They ain't even privileged people time exactly right.

528
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 1: I'll own that you could afford to be late. I

529
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 1: kind of show up early.

530
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 2: You know, so I also I see the value in it.

531
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 3: Right amber, if you call me a DEI higher.

532
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 2: Oh, all right, have you all? Do you all go

533
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 2: to bed angry?

534
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 3: Never?

535
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:48,400
Speaker 5: No?

536
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,880
Speaker 3: Never? Wow? Never.

537
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 4: It's important I think to separate. And I know you've

538
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 4: heard of or read.

539
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 6: About like certain energies. So and emotions are very powerful

540
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 6: and strong things. They make people do things that they

541
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 6: otherwise wouldn't. So if you are in the same room

542
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 6: with someone and you're arguing and you feel that energy,

543
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 6: I think it's important to separate until And that's one

544
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 6: thing my mom used to teach me, go into a

545
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 6: different room and take ten deep breaths.

546
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 3: And I disagree with that. Why I disagree with that.

547
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:26,400
Speaker 7: I think it's really important to talk about it afterwards.

548
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 7: Then okay to talk about it, and then so for yeah,

549
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 7: so to talk about it before you go to bed,

550
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 7: or even say, let's agree to disagree, but out being

551
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 7: you know, together is important. But for some folks that

552
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 7: I know, I'm not mentioning any names. Sometimes I'm not

553
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 7: mentioning any names. Sometimes just having a couple of hours

554
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 7: apart works for them.

555
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 3: She doesn't know what I'm talking about.

556
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 1: We were trying to remember you told you gave us

557
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 1: a recommendation about going to bed angry, and we're getting

558
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 1: different reports from different couples about what they decide to do.

559
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 1: Some say, yeah, go to bed angry. It's okay, but

560
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 1: we could still kiss each other good night, but I'm

561
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,959
Speaker 1: pissed at you. And then others say, no, there's too

562
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,959
Speaker 1: much tension. We have to resolve this before we go

563
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 1: to bed, right.

564
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

565
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's not one size fits all. Yeah, but

566
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 3: I will tell you one thing.

567
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 7: If I have had on sentimental Sundays as of red wine,

568
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 7: I have the filter. I have the sensor up here

569
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 7: that says, do not bring up any conflict is that

570
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 7: red wine makes for a loose tongue. And then you

571
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 7: say something and then you're like, why did I say

572
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 7: that red wine?

573
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 2: Yes, I think we've gotten better at the going to

574
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 2: bed angry thing. I feel like even if we haven't

575
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 2: resolved it, and certainly we have gone to bed several

576
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 2: times without having resolved it, but I still feel like

577
00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 2: like I can hold your hand in bed, or I

578
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 2: can you know we can?

579
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 3: Yes, And it's play a little foot seat or what, yeah, a.

580
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 2: Little something just like hey, I'm still here, I'm not leaving, you.

581
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, and Jeff, we have to get over it

582
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 1: quick because we got to work together in the morning,

583
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: all right.

584
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 7: And you know, but and couples, it's healthy to have conflicts.

585
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 1: It's healthy, all right. Next question here, and this is

586
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 1: a practical one. A lot of couples deal with how

587
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: do you handle your finances? Shared accounts, separate accounts? What

588
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: do you all go with?

589
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 6: We have both personal and shared, Yeah, and multiples of

590
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 6: there's full there's there's full transparency. Yeah, he doesn't log

591
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 6: into mind because there's really nothing there.

592
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 4: That's okay. Everything's in the joint so we can both

593
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 4: get in there.

594
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 7: And yeah, we we have no issues with that. And

595
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 7: as well, same thing with our cell phones. We share

596
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 7: each other's pass codes, but we don't go into each

597
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 7: other's And again, full transparency in everything.

598
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 1: Do you all do the life life three sixty thing

599
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 1: where you all or something where you know where the

600
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: other one is all the time? You can track.

601
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 6: Them fause she knows where I am at all times.

602
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 3: I have no idea of where she does use the

603
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 3: app and I don't. It's amazing there.

604
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 2: And how do you all divide the household chores like cooking,

605
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 2: cleaning to children? Pets, et cetera.

606
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 7: I take care of all the pets. We have two.

607
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 7: We have two dogs, so that's my job, right.

608
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 4: But he doesn't brush their teeth.

609
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 7: I don't brush their teeth. She does that, and she

610
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 7: gives them medication. I take care of the outside. I

611
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 7: do all the heavy labor. I move the cars, takes

612
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 7: out the trash, take out the trash. I do the

613
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 7: dishes during the day, you know. But she does all

614
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 7: the vacuuming and laundry right. And cooking, even though I

615
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:00,040
Speaker 7: love to, even though I loved.

616
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 4: She's a much better cook than I have.

617
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I use I use spices.

618
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 7: When we first got together, I think I lost about

619
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 7: thirty pounds with her cooking.

620
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 4: She would cooking. I was like a bra vegan. She

621
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 4: would buy my shot.

622
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 7: She would make salads with like with with with you know,

623
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 7: unneeded ingredients like raisins and lots.

624
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 4: Of the ballads.

625
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 2: Do you like to make cast roles. I like to

626
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 2: make cast roles.

627
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 6: Oh, cast roles are good. I need bigger casserole dishes.

628
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 6: I like them when they're nice and cheesy.

629
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 2: Yes, same, TJ does not.

630
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 6: And you can prep them on Sunday and throw them

631
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 6: in on Likeday.

632
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 7: So that's how that's how we divvy up stuff, and

633
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 7: we divvy up everything and we take the initiative to

634
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 7: just do whatever we can.

635
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 3: So you're amazing.

636
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 7: She she will go into the house and just clean

637
00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 7: out a whole basement. That's her, that's her thing, and

638
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 7: you will make it amazing. Hyper focused, hyper focus.

639
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 1: Let me confirm again, how is the laundry specifically handled?

640
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 1: Because couples give us different answers here, who handles the laundry?

641
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 4: I do it all? Yeah.

642
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 6: One time I asked Jeff quickly, honey, can you go

643
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 6: to the dryer, grab Nova's socks, throw them downstairs and

644
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 6: turn it back on.

645
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 4: And I think he.

646
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 6: Paused, didn't know where the dryer was and nor where

647
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 6: the power button was.

648
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 3: That's true. Wow, And I was like, I'm focused on there.

649
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 3: I'm focused on others.

650
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 6: There.

651
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 4: I haven't asked them to go in there.

652
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 2: And that's fun all.

653
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 1: Next question here, now, how much alone time or time

654
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: away from each other do you find you need.

655
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 4: Alone time? As you know, with young children, you don't

656
00:33:58,440 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 4: get any alone time.

657
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 6: However, I feel like, well, I'm alone when I'm at

658
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 6: work because I'm not with my children.

659
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 4: And my family and with my patients.

660
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 6: But that feels alone to me sort of, if that

661
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 6: makes sense, because I'm not Yeah, but.

662
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 3: Alone time I would assume from one another.

663
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 4: From one another.

664
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:22,760
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'll answer that question if I may take. Okay,

665
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 7: I don't need any alone time. I love being with them.

666
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 7: I love being with all six of my children. You know,

667
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 7: that's my thing. I just absolutely love it. However, we

668
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 7: do get alone time when I travel, when I work

669
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 7: in the city.

670
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 3: You know, we are separated.

671
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 7: In that way, but then we're on the phone zooming

672
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,400
Speaker 7: that whole time. But it does feel good. I have

673
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 7: to be honest with you, to be away from you

674
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 7: for a day or two because more than enough, because

675
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:55,760
Speaker 7: I miss you, And then when I see you it's great.

676
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,280
Speaker 6: I miss the kids, and I honestly have trouble sleeping

677
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,800
Speaker 6: when he's not next to me. I'll put a pillow

678
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,320
Speaker 6: there and pretend it's him so I can fall asleep.

679
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 2: That's really sweet.

680
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 3: Used to it, you think to yourself, except except the

681
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 3: pillow doesn't drew.

682
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 2: All right, I'm going to ask the therapist. Have the

683
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 2: two of you ever been to couple's therapy?

684
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 3: Did we do couples therapy? Once. Oh that was my

685
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 3: ex wife. No, it was my ex wife. Yeah.

686
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,800
Speaker 7: No, we've never been to couple's therapy, though we've talked

687
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 7: about it a few times.

688
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,320
Speaker 6: My cousin, God bless her, brought it up and she said,

689
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 6: but you should do it while things are good, and

690
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,799
Speaker 6: be proactive and do it prophylactically. And I said to

691
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 6: my cousin, you are absolutely right. It's better to have

692
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,959
Speaker 6: the foundation there in a relationship with a therapist.

693
00:35:55,680 --> 00:36:01,840
Speaker 4: That you like before it's needed. And I do believe

694
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 4: in that.

695
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 3: How do you guys feel about that?

696
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 2: We?

697
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 1: I think we're the same as what Amberger said. We

698
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 1: wanted to go. We've been wanting to go find a

699
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: therapist while we're in a good place and just go

700
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 1: talk out and have a good time and get a

701
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,840
Speaker 1: referee in the room. And but Jeff, you you have

702
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,959
Speaker 1: been that for us. I mean, really, that's we talked

703
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 1: some things out with you for everybody to hear. We

704
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,279
Speaker 1: didn't mean for that to be the case, but that

705
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 1: was we enjoyed that.

706
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 2: Uh.

707
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:28,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's a very healthy thing. I'm sorry, Amy,

708
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 3: Oh no, I think so too.

709
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:33,320
Speaker 2: And this has been my longest relationship outside of a marriage,

710
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 2: and I think it's cool to work on it before

711
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 2: you take that next step, which is something I hadn't

712
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 2: done before. So yeah, it's it's been good.

713
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 1: We're fans. Next question for you all here. Have you

714
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 1: ever threatened to break up, leave, or get divorced in

715
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 1: the middle of a heated argument?

716
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:54,840
Speaker 3: Have you? No?

717
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 6: No, well, and neither of I right, you use the

718
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 6: words I'm done, but you has picked it up. Our

719
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 6: son were like, I've done, I've done, and I'm like,

720
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 6: I don't really know what that means.

721
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 8: Like I think in the early I think, I think

722
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 8: in the earlier years, maybe in the first two or

723
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 8: three years, I might have said something like that, you know,

724
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 8: but out of frustration I didn't mean it.

725
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 7: But the advice I give folks, and we've already talked

726
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 7: about that, is to not throw that divorce word around

727
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,439
Speaker 7: because many times it's an empty threat that can turn

728
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 7: into something that can be very lethal and hurtful.

729
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 3: So I don't think I've said anything like that.

730
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 2: Is done.

731
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 4: It upsets me.

732
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 3: Well, she has.

733
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 7: She has abandonment issues. Quite honestly, we're being true about that.

734
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 7: Her parents divorced very young, did much of the raise

735
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 7: her father raised all the children.

736
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 3: That's why when she.

737
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 7: Met me and found out that I was raising four children,

738
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,320
Speaker 7: you know, as a father, she said, hey.

739
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:04,839
Speaker 3: Sexy, oh that's great. Be it ever so terrible? There's

740
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 3: no place like home?

741
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,319
Speaker 1: Do do you have? Does Amber have an equivalent? Right?

742
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 1: I mean you said he'll say I'm done, But does

743
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 1: Amber say anything? Doctor Gard in the middle of a

744
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 1: heated argument that anything like that, she's got nothing. Well

745
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: good for you, no, no, ye should talk groups.

746
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:33,399
Speaker 2: So what is the sweetest thing your partner has done

747
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 2: for you?

748
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 6: He always brings me flowers, yes, and not just like

749
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 6: one bouquet, two or three. Yes, And I'm like, okay,

750
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 6: that's enough, that's enough, that's enough.

751
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,800
Speaker 4: And then they just keep showing up, especially in the summer.

752
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 7: In the summer, every Saturday or Sunday, I bring her

753
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:55,719
Speaker 7: red roses and then he.

754
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,399
Speaker 6: Gives them to our sun to then get on one

755
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 6: knee and hand to me like he'll follow the directions.

756
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 4: And that's It's just so stinking cute. And I'm like,

757
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:04,279
Speaker 4: thank you.

758
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:07,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

759
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 7: And the most romantic thing that you've done for me

760
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:16,399
Speaker 7: is been an incredible mother along with their mother. As

761
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 7: far as raising my first four children and then giving

762
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:21,760
Speaker 7: me two more children.

763
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 3: I think that's the most romantic thing, that's the most.

764
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:31,919
Speaker 1: That is so do these guys that is really guys.

765
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 1: I'm We'll say it. We'll talk about it plenty here

766
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 1: with all the interviews we're doing, but we have gotten

767
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 1: so much out of these interviews we're doing with couples.

768
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:43,200
Speaker 1: Really for us who still fairly new and navigating a

769
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,320
Speaker 1: lot of things, there's a lot of hope that comes

770
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 1: out of the conversation with you all. This is we've

771
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:50,760
Speaker 1: known you a long time, doctor guard dear, but Amber,

772
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 1: you've I guess you've added to the package here in

773
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 1: a way we didn't. We didn't even realize it could

774
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 1: be improved this much.

775
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 3: But it's uh my secret weapon. A lot of people

776
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 3: don't know about her.

777
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 7: But you know, when you invited us, I think this

778
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 7: is the first one of the first interviews we've done together.

779
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,879
Speaker 7: I think there are a few magazine articles way back

780
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 7: when that we did for some friends. But you know,

781
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,879
Speaker 7: when you requested, of course, we said, yeah, well.

782
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 1: We do appreciate that. We just have a few more

783
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: questions to get to here, and here is one. What

784
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:28,799
Speaker 1: would you all say to couples A couple that's considering marriage,

785
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 1: what is it that you would take the opportunity to

786
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 1: tell them to make sure you consider this, you think

787
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 1: about this, or even maybe you something you want to

788
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 1: warn them about. A couple considering going down the aisle,

789
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 1: what is it you would want to tell them first?

790
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 6: I would say, take note that it doesn't change much

791
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,720
Speaker 6: in your relationship. It's not a magic on off button.

792
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,879
Speaker 6: There's nothing digital about marriage. It's it's all analog. It's

793
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 6: it's this, it's from point A to point B, and

794
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:09,360
Speaker 6: it's a constant journey. And so the actual marriage doesn't

795
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 6: change your relationship if you ask me in your head,

796
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,359
Speaker 6: if it does, that's great. However, it takes two to

797
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 6: tango and it's a journey and nothing really the change

798
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 6: is constant, right, that's the only constant. Growth is optional,

799
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 6: so the growth part is important.

800
00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:35,760
Speaker 3: I would say the first thing is prenup. Don't believe

801
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 3: it or not. We don't have a pre nup.

802
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 7: So I'm just joking on that, But the lawyers would

803
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 7: probably say, no, that's really good advice. I would say friendship.

804
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 7: Have a friendship first. Let that be the foundation of

805
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 7: the relationship, even if it's you know, a very physical attraction,

806
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 7: but make sure that the friendship is in place and

807
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 7: stays in place throughout the marriage. And of course transparency

808
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:13,359
Speaker 7: and you know, whatever you expect from your partner, make

809
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 7: sure that you are ready to deliver the same thing.

810
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, people thinking about what they're getting, not what they

811
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 2: need to be giving. That's very important. I like that.

812
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 2: So everyone describes the honeymoon phase of a relationship, and

813
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 2: then you hear these very non romantic things like and

814
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 2: then love is a decision, But how do you keep

815
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 2: the romance alive after so many years?

816
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:44,279
Speaker 6: I feel like I just met my soulmate, and I

817
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 6: cannot believe that it's already been more than a decade

818
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 6: that I've been with this amazing person.

819
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:51,799
Speaker 4: So truth be told.

820
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:56,360
Speaker 6: For me, it's very easy that I look back and

821
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 6: I think, like, I'm still enjoying my time.

822
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 4: It's Jeff, and I'm still.

823
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 6: Getting to know him, and so it's not that hard

824
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 6: on my end, because I truly do believe in soulmates.

825
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:08,839
Speaker 4: I believe in that.

826
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 6: I believe in they say the light between us.

827
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:14,879
Speaker 4: We spoke about it when we were saying our.

828
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:18,959
Speaker 6: Vowels, that we're energies that are moving around each other,

829
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 6: and when you meet that right energy, it just works.

830
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 7: I would say, as we said earlier, make it, you know,

831
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:31,799
Speaker 7: put it on the checklist as to the things that

832
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 7: you need to do to stay in love.

833
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,840
Speaker 3: And stay romantic. I think that's really important.

834
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,759
Speaker 7: The other thing that I think that really worked for us,

835
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 7: as I know that it's worked for the two of you,

836
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 7: is that we work out all the time, and so

837
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 7: it's important for us to stay healthy for ourselves, but

838
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 7: for one another to be present, to be able to

839
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 7: work through whatever medical issues may be, to support one

840
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 7: another in that way. But you know, staying physically and

841
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 7: spiritually healthy I think really does help in a romance

842
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 7: of a relationship.

843
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 2: I love that, and I love that the two of

844
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 2: you were willing to sit down and talk with us

845
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 2: and so we can learn more about I just I

846
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:24,319
Speaker 2: have been so fascinated by how everybody who we've talked

847
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 2: to who are all happy, have figured out how to

848
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 2: be happy. But I you know, look, you guys are black, white, Jewish,

849
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:35,280
Speaker 2: non Jewish. You know, a twenty seven year age difference.

850
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 2: You had everything working against you, and yet look at you.

851
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 3: That's right, that's right.

852
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 4: It was tough.

853
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 3: The greatest love story never told. Yes, right now it's being.

854
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:50,359
Speaker 2: Told, and it's going to end a lot better than

855
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 2: j LO.

856
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 1: And I'm still.

857
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:55,240
Speaker 2: Okay, they could still reconcile, right.

858
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,600
Speaker 3: Well, I'm hoping for them.

859
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:02,520
Speaker 1: Actually, to me, I am genuine hoping for those two still.

860
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:05,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because they had that friendship thing. I know.

861
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 2: I know, well doctor Jeff Gardier, doctor Amber Brodie who's

862
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:12,240
Speaker 2: soon to become doctor Amber Guardier.

863
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 3: Yes, that is the one contention that we have.

864
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,400
Speaker 7: I think it's taken way too long for her to

865
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 7: do that, right, that is the one conflict that we've had.

866
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 7: Like I give you that that stink face when you say, oh,

867
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 7: I'll do it.

868
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 3: I'm like.

869
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:32,479
Speaker 4: So busy with patients. There's like this much time.

870
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 6: You have to go to the Social Security Office, right,

871
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 6: go to the DMV. I have to change three DA.

872
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 1: Licenses three doctor guardian three.

873
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 6: That's a lot EA licenses. Like that's like, you know,

874
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 6: the Drug Enforcement Agency of the United States, Well.

875
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 3: You better do it, you better do it while we

876
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:50,759
Speaker 3: still have a drug enforcement.

877
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 7: We're not going to get into politics here, but you

878
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:56,920
Speaker 7: know what I'm talking.

879
00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: You know what, this wasn't on the list, But I'm

880
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 1: curious about that. How important do you all think it

881
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 1: is a woman that changes her last name once they

882
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:09,879
Speaker 1: get married. Robock has a look on her face right now.

883
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 2: I've been married twice and I've never changed my last name.

884
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,280
Speaker 2: It certainly worked out well for me in that sense.

885
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 2: Stand in any lines ever, that would have been annoying.

886
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:22,240
Speaker 3: So I think it's I think it's up to the couple,

887
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 3: But you feeling.

888
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think one of the things that you were

889
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 7: talking about was actually hyphenating.

890
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 3: Right for Brody, guard.

891
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 6: Take my middle name, which I'm sorry, my last name

892
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 6: which happens to be used as a first and middle

893
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 6: name anyway, Brody, we all know many Brody's. Throw it

894
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 6: in the middle, that's easy, and then put Guardier at

895
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:45,440
Speaker 6: the end.

896
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:45,839
Speaker 3: Right.

897
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:48,840
Speaker 7: Brady never asked her to do it, but it's something

898
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:50,959
Speaker 7: that she said she would do. And because she said

899
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 7: she would do it, then I would if you insisted

900
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 7: on keeping the last name.

901
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,840
Speaker 3: Brody, I wouldn't have a problem with that. But Guardier

902
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 3: sounds a whole lot nice.

903
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:02,319
Speaker 4: So don't you think it's a fully French name.

904
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 7: Well, there you go, and it's a Haitian name, and

905
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:07,800
Speaker 7: we need you in the Haitian core.

906
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 1: It would be weird though, to doctor Guardian. All the

907
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 1: Doctor Guardia in my head is bald and has glasses.

908
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 1: I can't imagine picture.

909
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 2: Just Brody Guardier, Brody gard Okay, there you go.

910
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 1: All right, guys, really, it is so good to see

911
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 1: you all's faces, and we hope to see y'all in

912
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,120
Speaker 1: here in studio possibly, but certainly when you all learn

913
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:32,759
Speaker 1: the city let us know, Doctor Guardier, doctor Brody. Thank

914
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,279
Speaker 1: you all so so much for.

915
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 7: This, all right, great to see you both, Amy and TJ.

916
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 3: Thank you, I thank you