1
00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:05,080
Speaker 1: What does recovery look like when it's not designed for you?

2
00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:08,879
Speaker 1: I'm doctor and Zinga Harrison, and in season four of

3
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:13,480
Speaker 1: Unaddictioned podcast, we're featuring black and brown guests sharing their

4
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:17,920
Speaker 1: journeys through the unique barriers to recovery shaped by their identities.

5
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:22,040
Speaker 1: These guests have not only defined recovery on their terms,

6
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,560
Speaker 1: but they're also creating pathways and communities that can help

7
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,440
Speaker 1: you or a loved one find recovery too.

8
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,320
Speaker 2: Okay, so it's just us three and the place to

9
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,239
Speaker 2: be and we can rock and from the bottom to

10
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:33,760
Speaker 2: the top.

11
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,160
Speaker 3: Ay Ay, Now check.

12
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:41,279
Speaker 2: This shout if so happens that you take a screenshot

13
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,680
Speaker 2: of this right here, uh huh, because each this is

14
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,400
Speaker 2: a fly frame, I think, I mean it looks good, right,

15
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:52,560
Speaker 2: I think all three of us just kind of photogenic. Comeo, Okay,

16
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,720
Speaker 2: I'm just saying yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think

17
00:00:57,920 --> 00:00:59,760
Speaker 2: all three of us is kind of photogenic. You know,

18
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:04,000
Speaker 2: I'm saying, cree shot it is in the trozan. Look,

19
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,839
Speaker 2: I don't know about you too, Guys, when it comes

20
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,960
Speaker 2: down in my photo, fine dollars for singles, ten dollars

21
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,960
Speaker 2: with double ex bulgess. Thank you, appreciate you I have

22
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:20,040
Speaker 2: my money. How you doing this morning? Guys? What's going on?

23
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:24,560
Speaker 1: I mean, I said I was not gonna come on

24
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,760
Speaker 1: here and be a super fan, but it's just not

25
00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:32,640
Speaker 1: possible because listen, I grew up in Indianapolis, Indiana in

26
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,880
Speaker 1: the eighties, so I'm born in nineteen seventy six. My

27
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:40,039
Speaker 1: father was commander of the Black Panther Militia in Indianapolis,

28
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,959
Speaker 1: n A founder and commander. So when fight the Power

29
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:51,800
Speaker 1: came out and we had activism in rap music, there

30
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,880
Speaker 1: was no way I could not grow up being a

31
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:55,560
Speaker 1: super fan.

32
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,360
Speaker 3: And I have been a super fan my entire life.

33
00:01:58,920 --> 00:01:59,800
Speaker 3: And then I saw you.

34
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,040
Speaker 1: I watched all your shows, and then I saw you

35
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,760
Speaker 1: at the Olympics with the women's.

36
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,960
Speaker 3: Water polo team and I was like, come through flame.

37
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:10,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

38
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,639
Speaker 1: And then I did not even know this whole time,

39
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:17,040
Speaker 1: You're in recovery, which is the whole reason we are

40
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,720
Speaker 1: here this morning, and I was just like up twenty

41
00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:23,280
Speaker 1: notches from already super fandom.

42
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:28,320
Speaker 2: So thank you. You know what, James made a song

43
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,960
Speaker 2: about you, superfan?

44
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:38,640
Speaker 3: Now you know good, Well that's not the words.

45
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:44,120
Speaker 2: So that we know it's super freak. But I turned

46
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,679
Speaker 2: it in the super Fan it was it.

47
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:46,679
Speaker 1: It's it.

48
00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:49,600
Speaker 2: Thank you full of love though and everything. You know

49
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,959
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. Not only that, but God is good,

50
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,880
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. You know, when it comes

51
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,799
Speaker 2: down to recovery. You know, this is something that I've

52
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,359
Speaker 2: been wanting for myself for a long time. Plus my

53
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,720
Speaker 2: mom's been wanting this for me for a long time.

54
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:08,359
Speaker 2: You know. My mom passed away about close to baby,

55
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,200
Speaker 2: I don't know, nine or ten years ago, something like that,

56
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,040
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. But you know one thing

57
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,320
Speaker 2: that I say. The body is nothing but the shell

58
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,639
Speaker 2: that goes in the ground. But we donna die. So

59
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,040
Speaker 2: my mom, my mom ain't dead.

60
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,400
Speaker 3: She's still here, That's right.

61
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,520
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. It's just her body went

62
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,600
Speaker 2: in the ground. That's the shell, you know what I'm saying.

63
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:35,040
Speaker 2: But my mom stays around, she becomes she becomes the

64
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:40,360
Speaker 2: guardian angel. She watches over me, my whole family, my kids, everybody,

65
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,760
Speaker 2: no matter how faull apart was spreaded. Yeah, she can

66
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,560
Speaker 2: watch us all at one time, you know. So, so

67
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,839
Speaker 2: I'm saying, I'm just happy for her crossover and being

68
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:55,720
Speaker 2: that I know that she's here with me by me

69
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,920
Speaker 2: getting myself sober. I know, it's just making her real happy,

70
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,240
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So that's what I was

71
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,080
Speaker 2: taking you too, you know when I said that, you know,

72
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,600
Speaker 2: my mom's passed away, this and that, that and it,

73
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,840
Speaker 2: but she's still here. Yeah, and this is something that

74
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,000
Speaker 2: you always wanted for me, you know what I'm saying.

75
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,720
Speaker 2: So I'm happy that I'm able to be on the

76
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,400
Speaker 2: road to give to give her that, but also for

77
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:21,200
Speaker 2: myself too.

78
00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:22,039
Speaker 1: Yeah.

79
00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:25,880
Speaker 2: You know, I'm sixty five and a lot of my

80
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:30,880
Speaker 2: friends that I came up with, they are not here

81
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,840
Speaker 2: to talk about it, you know what I'm saying. And

82
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,240
Speaker 2: the thing that really took me for a ride was

83
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:40,760
Speaker 2: when my boy Coolio passed away. My boy Coolio passed away.

84
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,160
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I said to myself, up, Yeah,

85
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,400
Speaker 2: you better stay this way, buddy, Yeah, because you could

86
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,240
Speaker 2: be the next one.

87
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:49,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

88
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:54,200
Speaker 3: It's devastating how many trying to be in them numbers.

89
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:54,520
Speaker 1: Man.

90
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,440
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, I'm trying to stick around

91
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,040
Speaker 2: to make a difference. I'm trying to stick around and

92
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,960
Speaker 2: watch my my grandkids grow up and graduate from school.

93
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:03,720
Speaker 3: That's right.

94
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,839
Speaker 2: So God is good. You know what I'm saying because

95
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:11,240
Speaker 2: He let us wake up today to have another day

96
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,440
Speaker 2: of life. You know, I'm saying, word up every day

97
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,640
Speaker 2: that we live. God gives us the power to do that.

98
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, so true, It's so true.

99
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,800
Speaker 3: So Flave, will you on this podcast?

100
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,520
Speaker 1: So I mentioned that Jen reached out and she was like,

101
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,440
Speaker 1: when you're going to write a book? And I was like, never,

102
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,520
Speaker 1: And then she was like, and you're going to write

103
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,520
Speaker 1: a book. And so the name of the book is

104
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:37,400
Speaker 1: an Addiction six mind changing conversations that could save a life.

105
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,480
Speaker 1: And so what we try to do on this podcast

106
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:45,680
Speaker 1: is have conversations that might make someone say I relate

107
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:49,280
Speaker 1: to that and maybe this could be part of my

108
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,640
Speaker 1: recovery journey, or maybe I could start my recovery journey,

109
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,480
Speaker 1: or maybe that's for me when I thought it wasn't before.

110
00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:59,240
Speaker 1: And so can you just share with us your mom

111
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:03,120
Speaker 1: wanted this for you for a long time. When would

112
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:07,560
Speaker 1: you say, from your perspective, your recovery journey started, what

113
00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:08,760
Speaker 1: God had started?

114
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:09,920
Speaker 3: What has it been like?

115
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,400
Speaker 2: Well, let me say it like this, because you know

116
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:16,200
Speaker 2: I've I've been a drug addict for many years of

117
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,880
Speaker 2: my life. I've been an alcoholic for many years of

118
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,640
Speaker 2: my life, you know what I'm saying. And I've been

119
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:32,800
Speaker 2: through I don't know, maybe for rehabs, you know what

120
00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:36,720
Speaker 2: I'm saying in the whole nine. And each time that

121
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:41,440
Speaker 2: I went, I almost got it, but then again, deep

122
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,720
Speaker 2: down inside, I guess I wasn't ready, you know what

123
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,919
Speaker 2: I'm saying in the whole nine. So it's been an

124
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,920
Speaker 2: off and on thing, off and on thing, you know

125
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:53,040
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. I feel that it started when I

126
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:58,480
Speaker 2: said to myself, I'm going to do this. You know,

127
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,760
Speaker 2: I'm going to do this to challenge myself, you know. So,

128
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,600
Speaker 2: so that's when the day started, when I started challenging myself.

129
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,159
Speaker 2: It's been a little road. It's been a little road,

130
00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,000
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying in the whole nine. But

131
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,840
Speaker 2: God is good, you know what I'm saying. And there

132
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:19,200
Speaker 2: have been people too that that's been on alcohol for

133
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:23,640
Speaker 2: a while. I managed to talk talk them off of it.

134
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,920
Speaker 2: So I managed to help a few people out. I

135
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:32,480
Speaker 2: thank God for that power, yeah saying. But still in all,

136
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:37,480
Speaker 2: it's all up to you. You know what I'm saying.

137
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:41,440
Speaker 2: When you're ready, you're going to stop. When you're not ready,

138
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,840
Speaker 2: you're not going to stop. You know, and a lot

139
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,920
Speaker 2: of people says, well, I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop. Yes,

140
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,960
Speaker 2: you could have. You just didn't want to help yourself

141
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,840
Speaker 2: to stop. You just didn't want to stop. You can

142
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:57,600
Speaker 2: do whatever you want. Anything in life that you want

143
00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,440
Speaker 2: to do, you can. You can accomplish that, and you

144
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,080
Speaker 2: can achieve that. So even to all of the drug

145
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:08,880
Speaker 2: addicts and alcoholics and the matthe users and all of

146
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:12,120
Speaker 2: that stuff, if they really want it for themselves, deep

147
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:16,800
Speaker 2: down in their heart, they will stop and it would

148
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,960
Speaker 2: stay like that. You know, that's if you're ready.

149
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:24,880
Speaker 1: And what do you think, Because I think there's an

150
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:29,040
Speaker 1: important part of your message that's empowering, right, Like there's

151
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:33,960
Speaker 1: a part of the I can't do it that decreases

152
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,080
Speaker 1: people's ability to change their substance use. And then there's

153
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:42,319
Speaker 1: also a part of it that there are external things that,

154
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:46,600
Speaker 1: even when you're ready, make it hard to stay stopped.

155
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,720
Speaker 1: Like you said, stopping is one thing. Stay and stops

156
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,400
Speaker 1: when life is throwing a whole lot at you can

157
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,400
Speaker 1: be another thing. And so if you look back, and

158
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,880
Speaker 1: I'll say you've been to rehab four times, which is

159
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,800
Speaker 1: amazing because every time the sea gets bigger, right, And

160
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,199
Speaker 1: sometimes we look at it like, oh, you went back

161
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,520
Speaker 1: four times, like somehow that's a failure. No, every time

162
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:12,080
Speaker 1: the sea got bigger, every time the power got stronger.

163
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:20,480
Speaker 1: If you look at either people, places, things, situations that

164
00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:24,679
Speaker 1: kind of helped make you stronger in that ability to

165
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,120
Speaker 1: stay stopped, what would some of those things be.

166
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,120
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, one of the main things is

167
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:35,680
Speaker 2: is to change change the places where you be. Yet,

168
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,560
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. You can't be around places

169
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,640
Speaker 2: that had you sick, you know, and expect to be

170
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,959
Speaker 2: all right. It don't work like that, you know what

171
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,839
Speaker 2: I'm saying. I mean, like I said, you got to

172
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,880
Speaker 2: be ready and deep down in your in your heart ready,

173
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,760
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, in the whole nine.

174
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,920
Speaker 3: And it can be hard not to go to those

175
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,959
Speaker 3: places when those places are really part of your life.

176
00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:04,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, big time, big time, you know what

177
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:08,360
Speaker 2: I'm saying. Like like bars, for instance, which was always

178
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,439
Speaker 2: a big part of my life. It took me a

179
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:16,440
Speaker 2: little minute before I can really go back in a bar. Today.

180
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,400
Speaker 2: I could get my friends drunk and I don't have

181
00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:18,959
Speaker 2: to drink.

182
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,880
Speaker 1: And your two years you're two years in from not drinking.

183
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, boy, I say, I say, I say about three.

184
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,400
Speaker 3: Okay, three, that's what's up.

185
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,720
Speaker 1: I think alcohol and cigarettes are two of the hardest

186
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:39,360
Speaker 1: drugs to stop, just because our culture is so in love.

187
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:43,480
Speaker 2: With them, no doubt. Hey I was, I'm sorry, but

188
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,679
Speaker 2: I was just being reminded, you know, saying that I'm

189
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,000
Speaker 2: going on four.

190
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,240
Speaker 3: Years okay, four, Yeah, that's right.

191
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,680
Speaker 2: I like it, going on four going on four yeah, yeah,

192
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,800
Speaker 2: a little journey. It's been a little journey. Yeah.

193
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,959
Speaker 1: And fifteen, did I get it right? Fifteen from cocaine.

194
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:07,640
Speaker 2: Yes, fifteen, yeah, about fifteen, fifteen to sixteen years now

195
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:11,880
Speaker 2: from the hard hard drugs cocaine crack. Yeah, you know,

196
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:16,360
Speaker 2: cause that was really my drug of choice, coke, crack

197
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:21,040
Speaker 2: and alcohol. What I'm saying, you know, I mean today today,

198
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,920
Speaker 2: I still smoke my weed. So I'm not going to

199
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,679
Speaker 2: say I'm squeaky clean. But I've been doing this stuff

200
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,679
Speaker 2: all my life, you know what I'm saying. So the

201
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:34,600
Speaker 2: main things that would really take me under, I'm glad

202
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:35,440
Speaker 2: that I stopped.

203
00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:40,439
Speaker 1: Yes, you know what that is flave the like official

204
00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:43,640
Speaker 1: term for that, we call it harm reduction. And I

205
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:48,000
Speaker 1: think there's something really I'm just gonna say it dangerous

206
00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:53,960
Speaker 1: about requiring people to be squeaky clean, because it would

207
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,000
Speaker 1: be like, it doesn't matter that you stopped, like you said,

208
00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:02,120
Speaker 1: the things that were really killing me cocaine, cocaine, alcohol,

209
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,520
Speaker 1: and they would be like, you're not sober because you're

210
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,720
Speaker 1: smoking marijuana. It's like, I'm more likely to be alive

211
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,880
Speaker 1: tomorrow not doing cocaine, not drinking alcohol.

212
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:13,880
Speaker 2: That's right.

213
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,840
Speaker 1: And so I want somebody to hear that Flave said,

214
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,960
Speaker 1: I'm not squeaky clean, and you know I buck against

215
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:26,199
Speaker 1: this word clean anyway, because you are clean even when

216
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:29,520
Speaker 1: you're using drugs. Listen, you are not dirty. You are clean,

217
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,679
Speaker 1: but you don't have to be squeaky like. We want

218
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,560
Speaker 1: you to be alive.

219
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,680
Speaker 3: So if you can put down one thing, put.

220
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,520
Speaker 2: Down one thing, hey, listen, the more you can put

221
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:42,360
Speaker 2: down the merria and the better your life would be.

222
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,880
Speaker 2: And I know that there's a lot of people that's

223
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,800
Speaker 2: been doing it so long and they think that they

224
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:54,400
Speaker 2: can't conquer putting it down, but they can't because I'm

225
00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:57,199
Speaker 2: just one of many that was able to do it.

226
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,800
Speaker 2: But there are many that was able to do it

227
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:04,480
Speaker 2: and they're still doing it even like twenty five thirty years.

228
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,840
Speaker 2: A matter of fact, I was talking to someone last night.

229
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:12,000
Speaker 2: I went to the New York Liberty game last night,

230
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:18,800
Speaker 2: and I was speaking to somebody that's going on thirty two.

231
00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:22,040
Speaker 3: Yes, is that incredible.

232
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,840
Speaker 2: I don't care what nobody's saying, but my little four

233
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,680
Speaker 2: years is just as big as they're thirty.

234
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,520
Speaker 3: Two for real, period.

235
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:28,760
Speaker 1: Dot.

236
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,000
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm just grateful for the strength that I

237
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:36,200
Speaker 2: have to be able to just keep it going. Man, Yeah,

238
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,719
Speaker 2: keep it going and try to encourage others that's not

239
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,200
Speaker 2: doing too well, that's not doing good.

240
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,960
Speaker 1: I think that's a huge part of it, too, Flave,

241
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,800
Speaker 1: which is why I was so super excited for you

242
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:52,360
Speaker 1: to come on, because your voice has a really far reach,

243
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:57,040
Speaker 1: and I feel like we're just starting to get to

244
00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:02,840
Speaker 1: this place where we can open put loving arms around

245
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,280
Speaker 1: people that are struggling with drugs. Like it used to

246
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:08,520
Speaker 1: be all about judgment and keep it a secret and

247
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,640
Speaker 1: don't talk about that. And now Flaith can come out

248
00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:15,880
Speaker 1: and be like I got four plus fifteen. I'm trying

249
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,319
Speaker 1: to get to this thirty two. Like this person that

250
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,040
Speaker 1: I met last night, I think that will save people's lives.

251
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,720
Speaker 2: And you know, I say. The more that we speak

252
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:29,640
Speaker 2: about it, the stronger it would make us, you know

253
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,120
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. So it's very important too, man that

254
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,200
Speaker 2: I mean you know me, I don't. I don't really.

255
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,560
Speaker 2: I haven't been to a meeting in a minute. This

256
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,280
Speaker 2: is my meeting, Yes, this is my meeting right here.

257
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,840
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. The reason why I haven't

258
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,920
Speaker 2: been to a meeting in a minute is because I've

259
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,280
Speaker 2: been doing so much moving around and I've just been

260
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,360
Speaker 2: going and going and going and going and going and

261
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,200
Speaker 2: going and going and going and going. Is that my

262
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:58,120
Speaker 2: excuse not to make a meeting. No, that's not my excuse.

263
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,320
Speaker 2: It's just that I haven't made any You know that

264
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,680
Speaker 2: I haven't made any meetings. But that light is too bright.

265
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:05,360
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

266
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,840
Speaker 1: It did look like you just the light shone down

267
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,240
Speaker 1: from heaven all of a sudden.

268
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:16,160
Speaker 2: Hey, that was God right there, Like God, I know

269
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,240
Speaker 2: you want to I know you want to bless me

270
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:21,520
Speaker 2: with a shine, but at least let me get to

271
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:25,400
Speaker 2: see while I'm why why you're making me shine? Don't

272
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,520
Speaker 2: blind me. Don't blind me with my own shine? Right,

273
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,480
Speaker 2: God is just blinding me with my own shine? You know?

274
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:37,800
Speaker 1: Oh, my God, that's actually what I said when I

275
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,360
Speaker 1: found out that you said, yes, you were gonna come on.

276
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,600
Speaker 1: That has been my experience of you my whole life

277
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:47,040
Speaker 1: is that you shine on other people, and you actually

278
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:51,880
Speaker 1: also lift other people up to shine. That's what my

279
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,360
Speaker 1: concept of you has been.

280
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,120
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you, And honestly, that's what my concept

281
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,600
Speaker 2: of my life has kind of been. And when I

282
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,560
Speaker 2: do that, I look for nothing in return. It just

283
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,640
Speaker 2: comes off from the bottom of my heart.

284
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,120
Speaker 1: So I have this idea that I call the magic

285
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:13,280
Speaker 1: formula flave. And the magic formula is once you decide

286
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:17,240
Speaker 1: for you what recovery is, what is the formula that

287
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:22,000
Speaker 1: you're working that helps to keep your feet planted in recovery?

288
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:24,200
Speaker 1: And so you mentioned one, you were like, this is

289
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:28,520
Speaker 1: my meeting today. So like helping other people is part

290
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:33,280
Speaker 1: of your magic formula, it sounds like actual meetings are

291
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,160
Speaker 1: part of your magic formula when the timing is right

292
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:36,440
Speaker 1: for that.

293
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,280
Speaker 3: What are other things that you do to help.

294
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,800
Speaker 1: Keep your feet firmly on the ground that you have

295
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,920
Speaker 1: defined as recovery for yourself.

296
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:53,800
Speaker 2: Well, the answer to that is the main thing, the

297
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:58,840
Speaker 2: main thing that all of us need to practice and

298
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:04,280
Speaker 2: to keep saying. It's a one word answer. No.

299
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:09,480
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I thought you were gonna say a different word.

300
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,200
Speaker 1: You just took me to church because I am here.

301
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,639
Speaker 1: This is the main thing I struggle with, So okay,

302
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:17,360
Speaker 1: school less.

303
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,080
Speaker 2: It's called no. You know what I'm saying. If you

304
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:25,040
Speaker 2: don't pick it up, it will not mess with you. Wow,

305
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,399
Speaker 2: only going to mess with you if you pick it up.

306
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,080
Speaker 2: If you pick it up, you won't get high. The

307
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,720
Speaker 2: only way you're going to get high is to pick

308
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,120
Speaker 2: it up. So in order the way not to get high,

309
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,720
Speaker 2: you don't pick it up. You got to say no,

310
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,359
Speaker 2: got to say no to it. You know what I'm saying.

311
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:46,400
Speaker 2: It's a one day at a time process. I don't

312
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,560
Speaker 2: know nobody that get two days at a time. If

313
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,080
Speaker 2: you do, you let me know, and that's where I

314
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,560
Speaker 2: want to go. You know what I'm saying. But this

315
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,920
Speaker 2: well that I live in Yo, we only get one

316
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,920
Speaker 2: day at a time. Even if you got to do

317
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,760
Speaker 2: it twenty four hours at a time, if that's what

318
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,920
Speaker 2: it takes, and try to do that for as many

319
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,359
Speaker 2: twenty four hours, as many days as you can in

320
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:11,040
Speaker 2: a row, until it all adds up to a nice

321
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:15,200
Speaker 2: period of time. Of you saying no, and you can

322
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,080
Speaker 2: do it. You can say no for the rest of

323
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,920
Speaker 2: your life if you want. Can't Nobody put a gun

324
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,879
Speaker 2: to your head and make you say yeah. You know

325
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,359
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. So the best thing is y'all just

326
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,159
Speaker 2: let me live and try to work it out. That's

327
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,359
Speaker 2: one of the main things, you know. You know, you

328
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,119
Speaker 2: say no to it, you don't have to pick it

329
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,320
Speaker 2: up today, and you don't have to get hide today.

330
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,840
Speaker 2: You know. That's that's how I live a lot of

331
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 2: my days. You know what I'm saying. You know, I

332
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,360
Speaker 2: didn't get hired, I didn't get hid to day, which

333
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:47,160
Speaker 2: was great, and I don't plan on getting high tomorrow,

334
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,119
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. But once you're a drug addict,

335
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:55,320
Speaker 2: you'll be that for the rest of your life. I'm

336
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:59,840
Speaker 2: an alcoholic, you'll be that for the rest of your life.

337
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 2: That don't mean you have to use I know me,

338
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be a drug addict for the rest of

339
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,920
Speaker 2: my life. I just don't. I just don't. I just

340
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:15,160
Speaker 2: don't have to use it. You know, alcoholic, I drink

341
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,440
Speaker 2: for many years of my life. You know what I'm saying.

342
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,960
Speaker 2: There's a lot of people that's been cleaned for so long.

343
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 2: Once they touch it, they go right back back into

344
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,760
Speaker 2: that cycle again. That's why I say, once a drug

345
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 2: addict is always a drug addict. Once an alcoholic is

346
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,080
Speaker 2: always an alcoholic, you know, and that's going to be

347
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:36,600
Speaker 2: for life.

348
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,359
Speaker 1: I'm a doctor, and so I think about just the brain,

349
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 1: the nerve pathways in your brain.

350
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:45,800
Speaker 3: They are there.

351
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,480
Speaker 1: So it's kind of like you grew up. I grew

352
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 1: up in Indianapolis, Indiana. I cannot go back to Indianapolis

353
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 1: for ten years, but when I go back to Indianapolis,

354
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 1: I can drive from the airport to my house because

355
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,560
Speaker 1: that path pathway is burned in my brain, right, And

356
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:06,119
Speaker 1: so like that's what you're saying, That pathway is burned

357
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 1: in your brain.

358
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 3: And I loved when you said the one word is no.

359
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 1: I think it goes even beyond just using drugs. So

360
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:18,080
Speaker 1: you were saying, no, I'm not going to use today.

361
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,360
Speaker 1: But I also think it's like no to people who

362
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 1: are not good for you, No to the bar, No

363
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 1: to people who make you feel bad about being in recovery,

364
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:32,240
Speaker 1: No to stress that's wearing you down, you know, right,

365
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,960
Speaker 1: Like all the ways we can say no. That then

366
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 1: make it easier to say no to the drug.

367
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 2: Also, you can't be around the people that used to

368
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 2: get you dirty and that used to get you fucked up,

369
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 2: or people that you know used to get your shit

370
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,520
Speaker 2: from your drugs from to stay dirty, you know, you

371
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,440
Speaker 2: got to change your people, you know what I'm saying.

372
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 2: Changing your people, changing the places that you be, changing

373
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 2: the things that you do, helps you stay clean. And

374
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,119
Speaker 2: if you don't change those things, then it's gonna be

375
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 2: a very hard fight for you to stay clean. Yeah.

376
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 1: That's like I'm not gonna eat mac and cheese, but

377
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to the lady that I always bought

378
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,200
Speaker 1: my mac and cheese from, but I'm gonna get sweet

379
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,160
Speaker 1: potatoes this time.

380
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 3: Like, no, I'm gonna buy mac and cheese.

381
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean, I ain't gonna lie, but you know,

382
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 2: you can say no to your mac and cheese. Just

383
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 2: passed it over the flame. I'm trying to gaze some weight, girl.

384
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 2: It's really it's really the same. It's really the same

385
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 2: scenario though it is it's real pattern.

386
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:50,120
Speaker 3: Is a pattern.

387
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, but these drugs, these drugs obviously have more pull

388
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 1: than mac and cheese.

389
00:21:55,840 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 2: But like a a whole lot more pull when I

390
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 2: go to schools and I talk about drugs and everything,

391
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 2: you know, tell a lot of the kids. You know,

392
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 2: one of the worst mistakes that I could ever make

393
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:15,440
Speaker 2: in life is experimenting with drugs. You know what I'm saying.

394
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 2: But I'm glad that I did and I got to

395
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:24,199
Speaker 2: make it through that. So now that way I can

396
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 2: be able to tell what it'll make you feel like

397
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 2: if you do this or if you do that, and

398
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 2: I can be able to tell you what type of

399
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 2: direction that it will take your life into. You know

400
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, which is into a brick wall.

401
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right.

402
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying in the hall nine. I mean,

403
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 2: I can't tell you what it feels like if I

404
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,880
Speaker 2: haven't experienced it. Experience is the best.

405
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 1: Teacher, you know, if not the teacher you want these

406
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 1: kids to have.

407
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,719
Speaker 2: As it relates to this anyway, right, So I wouldn't

408
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,640
Speaker 2: have been able to know all that I know if

409
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,200
Speaker 2: I didn't experience it. But I'm glad that God let

410
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,880
Speaker 2: me be able to learn about it so that way

411
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 2: I could be able to teach and tell about it.

412
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 2: Don't make the same mistake that I made. Yeah, you

413
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 2: know because it's it's a detrimental mistake, and hey, some

414
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 2: people can make it out of it, some people can't.

415
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is making me think about two things. So

416
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 1: I'm going to try to hold on to both of

417
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 1: these ideas. One I mentioned to you earlier my two

418
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 1: boys nineteen and seventeen. So I have a lot of

419
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: addiction on both sides of my family. Cocaine, heroine, alcohol, marijuana, cigarettes,

420
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: and like really severe addiction.

421
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 2: That really let me talk to them, bring me to

422
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 2: let me talk to yeah, give them to me.

423
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 3: Well, but this is what I told my kids.

424
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 1: Listen, just like any other chronic condition, part of your

425
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 1: risk for developing that addiction is coded in your DNA.

426
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 1: We pass it down generation to generation. So I told

427
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: my boys, listen, your friends might be able to do

428
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: a line of cocaine in the bathroom at the party

429
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: when you get to college. But let me tell you

430
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 1: what a line of cocaine turns into an our family, right, Like,

431
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 1: let me tell you about your risk to your point flave,

432
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 1: so that maybe you make the decision not to do

433
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:29,360
Speaker 1: that line of cocaine because you have sight through other

434
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,680
Speaker 1: people's experience in our family, what that can turn into

435
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 1: right for you. And so that seems like part of

436
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 1: what you're doing for the kids when you go to

437
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 1: school to talk to them.

438
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And when I do that, I build off

439
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:50,479
Speaker 2: really off of my own experiences. You know, you can

440
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 2: tell someone what it's going to make you feel like

441
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,200
Speaker 2: if you haven't done it, you know what I'm saying.

442
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,119
Speaker 2: Only way you're going to know what it feels like

443
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 2: is if you do it. You know what I'm saying.

444
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 2: So I'm coming. Well, I tell when I teach, I

445
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 2: teach you off actual experience. It's not what I heard,

446
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 2: Oh I heard it makes you feel like this, Oh

447
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 2: I heard, it makes you feel like that. I mean,

448
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 2: we all hear all of those things, you know what

449
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 2: I'm saying, but we still never know until we actually

450
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 2: go through the experience.

451
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,400
Speaker 1: And then we talk about the experience how it makes

452
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 1: you feel like, sure, it's good, but then you also

453
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 1: talk about the experience of eventually how it makes.

454
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:38,199
Speaker 2: You feel Yeah, yes, definitely. And you know, I learned

455
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 2: a saying I'm listening. That's this saying off to you,

456
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 2: And I think you can pass this saying off too,

457
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 2: even members of your family.

458
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,159
Speaker 3: I'm ready, don't try it.

459
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 2: You might like it. Facts you don't want to like it.

460
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 2: You don't want to like it because that will definitely

461
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 2: destroy your life if you end up liking it.

462
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 1: Yep, I'm actually gonna I'm being dead serious, text this

463
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 1: to my kids and say, look, Uncle Flave, now.

464
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 2: You call me uncle Flave. There you go.

465
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 1: Uncle told me to tell you, because that's real, and

466
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:26,399
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't. You can actually look, so

467
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 1: you can look at, like I said, your DNA.

468
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 3: You can look at.

469
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 1: Experiences you've had in childhood and your life, at your stress,

470
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 1: and you can sometimes predict I'm more at risk for

471
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:42,120
Speaker 1: liking this, but a lot of times you can't predict

472
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 1: how quick it grabs you and how deep it drags. You.

473
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,399
Speaker 2: Don't try what can destroy your life because you might

474
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,399
Speaker 2: end up liking what can destroy your life, and if

475
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 2: you do it in your life will get destroyed, plain

476
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 2: and simple, you know what I'm saying. So that's that's

477
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 2: the thing that you know. I try to teach, you know,

478
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 2: to a lot of people that haven't done it yet.

479
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 3: So you're talking to kids pretty young, right, Because I think.

480
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:17,159
Speaker 2: I'm talking to kids all ages, man, from elementary school, yes, to.

481
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 1: Colleges because it used to be like taboo to talk

482
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,120
Speaker 1: to an elementary kid about drugs. That's when we need

483
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 1: to talk about it. That's before the experimentation happened big time.

484
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 1: You know, you were making me think about flavor the

485
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 1: other thing I was saying, you made me think about

486
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: two things is really something I believe in deeply. Also

487
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: that I don't have to believe in it deeply because

488
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: the medical literature also proves it. But that life meaning

489
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: and purpose is one of the most important ingredients for

490
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,640
Speaker 1: keeping your feet firmly on your ground that you define

491
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: as recovery. And so I feel like our whole conversation,

492
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 1: you're telling me about a big part of your life

493
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:09,719
Speaker 1: meaning and purpose, shining, bringing others up in there shine,

494
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 1: trying to prevent kids from trying it right.

495
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:18,120
Speaker 3: And so what would you say if you look over

496
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 3: your whole sixty.

497
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: Five years, when did your life meaning and purpose really

498
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: become clear to you? And how did your experience with addiction,

499
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: for you know, make that stronger? And how has your

500
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,360
Speaker 1: experience with recovery made.

501
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 3: That stronger or changed it? WHOA, I know now I'm

502
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 3: like being all psychiatrists.

503
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 2: Ain't ain't not wrong with that? You know what I'm saying,

504
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 2: everybody in life needs a little bit a psychiatry. Four

505
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 2: years ago when I just really really just made up

506
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 2: my mind, you know what I'm saying, to stop smoking cigarettes,

507
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 2: stop drinking alcohol. You know what I'm saying. I mean,

508
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 2: my mind has been made up a long time ago

509
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 2: off of the hard drugs. Once I stop smoking cigarettes

510
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 2: and drinking alcohol, it kind of gave me a form

511
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 2: of new life, you know what I'm saying. It kind

512
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 2: of gave me a form of new life. It didn't

513
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 2: give me a new life. The gave me kind of

514
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 2: a form of a new life, you know what I'm saying.

515
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 2: And a rejuvenated feeling. This feeling that I have it

516
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 2: feels so good right now. I want everybody to feel

517
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 2: is good, even the ones that's still using. I want

518
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 2: them to be able to feel is good. And the

519
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 2: only whether they're going to be able to do that

520
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 2: they gotta have. They're gonna have to get, you know,

521
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 2: get on my wavelength. They're gonna have to get on

522
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 2: my level. They're gonna have to stop doing what they've

523
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 2: been doing. You know what I'm saying. In the whole

524
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 2: nine it wasn't real easy for me. But it wasn't hard.

525
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 2: You know, when you got your mind made up to

526
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 2: do something, you're going to do it.

527
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 1: The hard part is getting to that point, right, Yeah, the.

528
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 2: Hard part is getting to that point, you know what

529
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 2: I'm saying, and then staying.

530
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: On it, because there will be a lot, there will

531
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 1: be a lot that tries to and can knock you

532
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 1: off that point. Coming back to what we were saying earlier,

533
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: and my thing is this, If.

534
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 2: You do get knocked off point, you know what God said,

535
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 2: it's okay today. You could always get back on point

536
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 2: and keep yourself there.

537
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

538
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 2: You know. So just because you got knocked off a point,

539
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 2: got knocked off point for a second, that don't make

540
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 2: you the scum of the earth. That means that you're trying.

541
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 2: You know, hey, sometimes in order to be successful, you

542
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 2: have to fail first. There's ever a time the where

543
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 2: I relapse or whatever. I'm not going to feel like

544
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 2: I'm the scum of the earth. I feel like, Okay,

545
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 2: I need to work harder and try hard.

546
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, something needs to change right so I can.

547
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 2: Get it for the rest of my life. I'm going

548
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 2: for as long as I can. That's all I'm not

549
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 2: going to say. I'm going to do this for the

550
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 2: rest of my life because I can't predict my life.

551
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 2: I only could plan it. But my plan is to

552
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 2: try to stay like this for as long as I can.

553
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: I love.

554
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 3: That's what you said earlier.

555
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 1: You said, I didn't get high today, and I don't

556
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 1: plan to get high tomorrow.

557
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 2: I don't. I really don't. And it's right something beautiful.

558
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 2: It's right there in my face, yeah, avery single day,

559
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 2: you know, And mainly when it comes down to friends

560
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 2: and family members, it's right there in your face with

561
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 2: with your friend and the family members. I never ever

562
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 2: disclude them. I just try to disclude what they do,

563
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 2: and I try to disclude it out of my life

564
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 2: because can't nobody make your decisions for you. But you

565
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 2: if you decided that you wanted to get weak and

566
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 2: be like, fuck it, because because because people do get

567
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 2: a case of the fuckets, you know, fuck it, let

568
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 2: me do this, fuck it, man, let me do that.

569
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 2: Oh fuck it. You know people do. People do get

570
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 2: a bad case of the fuckets, man. I mean every

571
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 2: human has them, every human. You know what I'm saying.

572
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 2: In the whole nine you just gotta not let those

573
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 2: fuckings control your life. You can say fuck it by

574
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 2: saying no, fuck it, Nope, I'm not doing it. Fuck it. Nah,

575
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 2: I'm not drinking that fuck that you know? Nah, fuck that,

576
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not sniffing that ship you crazy? Fuck no?

577
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:09,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I oh no, yeah, no, I'm.

578
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 2: Not funk that. I'm not fucking. I'm not drinking. Give me,

579
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 2: give me, give me some give me. Just give me

580
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 2: my orange, my pineapple juice with a swash berry and

581
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 2: I'm good.

582
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 3: This is Mike.

583
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: So in an addiction treatment, we actually treat teach people

584
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: refusal skills, so how to say no when you find

585
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 1: yourself in a situation.

586
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 3: But you just gave my favorite lesson on refusal that

587
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 3: I've ever heard in my life.

588
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 1: Okay, this is the flame lesson on refusals on refusal skills.

589
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 3: That was incredible. That's right.

590
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 2: If you want to live longer, you got to make

591
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 2: yourself stronger.

592
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

593
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 2: I like that. I like it. Ok to you. I

594
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 2: just taught myself something.

595
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 3: It's another one. It's another leg.

596
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 2: I'm putting that shit on shirt.

597
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 3: Okay, and then be like and then send me one.

598
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 2: If you want to live longer, you gotta get That's it.

599
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 3: It's true.

600
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 1: It's true in literally every way, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually,

601
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 1: in every way. Okay, listen, time flies because it's too

602
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,919
Speaker 1: much fun talking to you. But this is the same

603
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 1: question that I ask everybody before we get off of

604
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 1: the show. The name of the book is unaddiction. Made

605
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 1: this word up an addiction, And what we were thinking

606
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 1: was what do we need to unlearn about addiction that

607
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 1: we think we know but it's killing people because we're

608
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 1: wrong about it.

609
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,840
Speaker 3: What do we need to undo?

610
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,800
Speaker 1: Like stigma? Because stigma is killing people? So what stigma

611
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 1: do we need to undo? And the last one is

612
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 1: what conversations do we need to uncover? Like this conversation

613
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:00,360
Speaker 1: that we're having here, So Flave, if you wanted to

614
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 1: leave our listeners with one thing to unlearn or one

615
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 1: thing to undo, or one conversation to uncover, what would

616
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: you say.

617
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:20,920
Speaker 2: Dropping a jewel on you? Okay, I'm ready and and

618
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 2: this is this is God's law. I didn't make make

619
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 2: up what I'm about to say. This God's laws. God

620
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 2: God has laws. You know what I'm saying. Like what

621
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,400
Speaker 2: goes around comes around in order to you. If you

622
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 2: want to be treated a certain way, you got to

623
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:40,320
Speaker 2: treat people a certain way first all that you know karma,

624
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 2: you know that's God's laws, you know what I'm saying.

625
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 2: So the reason why it's going to be kind of

626
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:56,240
Speaker 2: difficult to answer that last question that you just said

627
00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 2: is because number one, people ask me or damn flave,

628
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 2: if you could do it different, if you could do

629
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,320
Speaker 2: it over and do it different, what would you do different?

630
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 2: What would you do over? And you know what, I

631
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 2: tell them? Nothing? And the reason why is because if

632
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 2: I didn't do that, then I wouldn't have learned it.

633
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. If I didn't do that,

634
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,800
Speaker 2: then I would be able to teach about it. You

635
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. In the whole nine and this

636
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 2: is one thing that God teaches. Once something is done,

637
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 2: it cannot be undone. So once you learn something, it's

638
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 2: impossible for you to unlearn it because it's already it's

639
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:56,760
Speaker 2: already embedded inside that brings cell, you know what I'm saying,

640
00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 2: and the whole nine so so so you can't unlearn stuff.

641
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 2: You can't undo stuff once it's already done. Like like

642
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 2: like when you do damage to someone, you can't undo

643
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 2: the damage. You know what I'm saying, when you break

644
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:21,879
Speaker 2: a coffee cup or you chip it, you can't say

645
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 2: you I mean, you can't undo it, even though you

646
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 2: can take that little piece, glue it back in there

647
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 2: and make it look like nothing has ever happened. But

648
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 2: deep down inside know that crack is still there. Be undone.

649
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:45,280
Speaker 1: That was a beautiful answer. Yeah, So it's not about

650
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:49,359
Speaker 1: trying to unlearn. Maybe it's about trying to learn something new,

651
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 1: and it's not about trying to undo. Maybe it's about

652
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: trying to do something different.

653
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,360
Speaker 2: There you go, there you go.

654
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,959
Speaker 3: It's all that lesson in I took that lesson.

655
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, there it is. I ain't gonna lie, but you

656
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 2: learn fast, you learn fast, man burn up. Then they

657
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 2: ain't say you girls are fast teacher.

658
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 3: Flame.

659
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, I don't know what it does

660
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 2: for everybody else, but I know what this shit does

661
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 2: for me, you know, and if it can do it

662
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 2: for me, it can do the same thing for you

663
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 2: and anybody else that wants it. Back in the day,

664
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 2: you know, I dropped out of high school. You know,

665
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,800
Speaker 2: I dropped out in the tenth grade. You know what

666
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 2: I'm saying. So you know my wish is to get

667
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 2: my diploma. So I'm gonna go back to high school

668
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 2: and get my diploma, and I'm gonna put it on

669
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 2: television shout out to be one of the main things

670
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 2: on TV that you see coming out of me. You

671
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. Plus recording new music. I got

672
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:59,720
Speaker 2: some more music getting ready to come out to you guys.

673
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 2: You know me and my partner, Truck D. We got

674
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: some things coming. And then also I got a surprise

675
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 2: solo project that I'm working on right now. I think

676
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 2: you guys would be able to grasp and grip on

677
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 2: ask a new D shirt. That's my slogan to put

678
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 2: on my shirt. If you want to live longer, you

679
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 2: got to get stronger. And hopefully what I taught myself today,

680
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 2: I hope y'all learned it too, because this learning lesson

681
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 2: wasn't just for me, it was.

682
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,280
Speaker 3: For all of us saved received.

683
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for tuning in, and if you

684
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 1: like this episode, please check out my book on addiction,

685
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 1: Six mind Changing Conversations that Could Save a Life, available

686
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 1: at Barnes Andnoble Bookshop, dot Org, Union Squaring Company, Amazon,

687
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 1: and wherever books are sold. We want to hear from

688
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 1: you if you identify as black or brown and have

689
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 1: a recovery story to share. Something you I've learned, a

690
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: stigma that you've undone, or a conversation that you've had

691
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 1: about addiction. Send us a voicemail at speak pipe dot com,

692
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 1: slash u a pod that's speak pipe dot com slash

693
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 1: u a pod