Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
Speaker 2: a terrible throuffle, guess what You've got decisions?
Speaker 1: You've got decisions. Wait, I don't know if I sound
Speaker 1: like her? Wait no, no, what was No? No, it's a man.
Speaker 1: You've got mail. Yeah, but Siri is a woman. But
Speaker 1: Siri nervus. You've got decisions? Ayay, no, damn? All right, anyway,
Speaker 1: go ahead and we'll see espanol. Uh what.
Speaker 3: Before we get started with this week's You've Got Decisions all,
Speaker 3: we want to let you know if you haven't yet,
Speaker 3: to go ahead and pre order our book, No Holds
Speaker 3: Bard of Doing Manifesto, Sexual Exploration and Power You if
Speaker 3: you want to see our pages come to life. We
Speaker 3: have also announced that we are on Tour Baby starting
Speaker 3: in July. Head over to NHB tour dot com to
Speaker 3: get your tickets, your book, your VIP, just buy everything
Speaker 3: that you see that is available for purchase.
Speaker 2: I uh now that we have some copies that we're
Speaker 2: sharing with press influencers, et cetera. My only friend that's
Speaker 2: reading it right now is Breonna, and she was on
Speaker 2: the train.
Speaker 1: She goes, oh god, I just passed a masturbation me anything.
Speaker 1: She's I'm reading holes.
Speaker 2: And I'm like yeah, She's like it's too wordy, like
Speaker 2: it's so weird because I know we haven't been through
Speaker 2: this yet, Edd and you need to read it, but
Speaker 2: having have any of your friends ready yet. I actually
Speaker 2: just gave Key Key, Drea and Killa are copies, yeah,
Speaker 2: because I recorded.
Speaker 1: With them, and then.
Speaker 3: I asked Shan for her address to get it to her,
Speaker 3: like I'm working on getting into people, so pease will
Speaker 3: have to other but I gave it to Break.
Speaker 2: I also read, so when she started talking about it,
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, oh my god. My
Speaker 2: boyfriend's also reading it and like even chapter where he's
Speaker 2: in it a little bit.
Speaker 1: He was like, I remember this in the first at it. Nigga,
Speaker 1: Yes you did. I'm not gonna lie reading the book.
Speaker 1: So y'all may not know.
Speaker 3: Our book was ninety thousand plus words. We only needed
Speaker 3: it to be sixty or sixty five. So I didn't
Speaker 3: realize until we started reading it for the audiobook, how much.
Speaker 1: Of my mother packet story is cut out? And pick
Speaker 1: a number and you pick a number? What a number?
Speaker 1: Just give me a number four thousand. No, I'm kidding. Thirty. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's see, let's see a word from thirty. Oh it's wheezys.
Speaker 2: She kept pulling me by my waist to sit on
Speaker 2: her face, but I really just wanted to concentrate on
Speaker 2: the moment instead, Naty, pick a number.
Speaker 3: Uh up, two hundred and forty five?
Speaker 1: The fuck bitch on here? No, I don't. Oh, look
Speaker 1: it's wheezy chapter again. And look at the words that
Speaker 1: pop out, you fucking whore.
Speaker 3: So make sure you purchase her book nos Bart available
Speaker 3: wherever you get.
Speaker 1: We just lay that gave every episode that was Fu'm
Speaker 1: not med with that, all right, y'all.
Speaker 3: So this one's kind of lengthy, but I love that
Speaker 3: she gave us backstory so that we can help her
Speaker 3: just a little bit.
Speaker 1: She love it. I'll get lost, I'll do too much.
Speaker 1: Here we go.
Speaker 3: Well, it's broken down in a paragraph, so I'm gonna
Speaker 3: fallse a little bit. The way I've been reading, I'm like,
Speaker 3: I feel like I could do a good job. All right,
Speaker 3: hate me, Andy l Weezy. I just wanted to say
Speaker 3: I randomly found your pod four years ago, and I've
Speaker 3: been so grateful to have a space to listen to
Speaker 3: women that get the one hundred percent quote unquote traditional life,
Speaker 3: both sex and relationship that it may not be for everyone.
Speaker 3: Here we go, with that being said, I need your advice.
Speaker 3: About four months ago, my ex, who I had a
Speaker 3: bad breakup turbulent relationship with, came back around. Like many
Speaker 3: men before him, He's sang the same song, I want
Speaker 3: to come back and do right by you.
Speaker 1: I've changed and I'm ready to be the man you deserve.
Speaker 3: Now this is not the first time I've heard this
Speaker 3: from an ex. I just honestly never expected to hear
Speaker 3: it from him. Backstory to this relationship about eight years ago.
Speaker 3: I was twenty six and he was twenty five. We
Speaker 3: were together for a year and a half when I
Speaker 3: lived in another city. We instantly connected and got hot
Speaker 3: and heavy quickly. Because the relationship was so intense, I
Speaker 3: looked past a lot of things that didn't make sense.
Speaker 3: Boy don't we all? Well, it turns out he was
Speaker 3: married the entire relationship.
Speaker 1: Long story short.
Speaker 3: We broke up after I found proof and dared him
Speaker 3: to come to me with his divorce decree and prove
Speaker 3: me wrong.
Speaker 1: How do you not know? I told you all about
Speaker 1: the story. My friend pulled up to the house.
Speaker 3: Obviously, he never showed up, so when he popped back up,
Speaker 3: I was curious and immediately asked if he was single.
Speaker 3: He forwarded me the link to the state that shows
Speaker 3: the decree for his divorce, and we basically had the
Speaker 3: closure I secretly always wanted. From there, we kept talking
Speaker 3: and started to see each other again, but things would
Speaker 3: happen that caused some sort of drama, like when he
Speaker 3: came to visit me in Houston for a weekend and.
Speaker 1: Immediately pulled away emotionally.
Speaker 3: After he left back to the city, then it was
Speaker 3: revealed that he in fact still lived with his new
Speaker 3: ex not ex wife, in a house that he had
Speaker 3: rented for them before they broke up. I ended up
Speaker 3: breaking things off because I saw a repeat of last
Speaker 3: time and decided enough was enough. Well, of course, after
Speaker 3: I cut him off, he returned several weeks later.
Speaker 1: This bitch, bitch, you returned. You allowed him to return.
Speaker 1: He came back, You let him.
Speaker 2: You did anyone see centered you invited him in this
Speaker 2: time out of the house he rented from his ex,
Speaker 2: completely broken up, and in a new house he bought
Speaker 2: all on his own to show that he was one
Speaker 2: hundred percent ready to start something with me on a
Speaker 2: clean slate. It felt nice to be pursued, and I
Speaker 2: started to think maybe we finally had a chance to
Speaker 2: do it right.
Speaker 1: What could possibly be in our way now?
Speaker 3: Well, earlier last week, he asked me to come spend
Speaker 3: the weekend with him in his new home so we
Speaker 3: could see what a weekend at home looks like.
Speaker 1: Uh with us after all these years apart.
Speaker 3: I asked multiple times if he was sure, and he said, yes,
Speaker 3: I want you here.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 3: Later in the week, he had several blow ups with
Speaker 3: his ex about several items he had left in their home.
Speaker 3: This caused him to lash out and drink very heavily
Speaker 3: during the week, which he claims he doesn't do, but shocker,
Speaker 3: he does. So I kept asking, are you sure you
Speaker 3: want me there this weekend, and the response was yes,
Speaker 3: I want you here.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 3: The Thursday before I was supposed to leave, we were
Speaker 3: talking on the phone and I told him i'd leave
Speaker 3: at a certain time to get this place.
Speaker 1: He then proceeded to tell me I've been in a
Speaker 1: bad place mentally and been drunk all week.
Speaker 3: Bitch you, this is like a colomilation of all my niggas,
Speaker 3: and I know I tried to do that word in
Speaker 3: another episode.
Speaker 1: No, I'm thinking of what was the word? A glom
Speaker 1: aglomination That was right, but we couldn't figure it out.
Speaker 1: You and another woman, he said, one of aglomination. Wouldn't
Speaker 1: you learn this because you got to day and learning.
Speaker 3: Goddamn it, he said, I've been in a bad place
Speaker 3: mentally and been drunk all week. I shouldn't have invited
Speaker 3: you when I told you yes to come. I need
Speaker 3: some mental health days.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: This is not the first time he's used this in
Speaker 3: the past few months to cancel things. So I said
Speaker 3: okay and told him the next time, just tell me
Speaker 3: the truth and not tell me what I want to hear.
Speaker 3: Because I moved a lot of things around from the
Speaker 3: weekend and arranged animal.
Speaker 1: Care to spend time with him.
Speaker 3: There is what animal care I hate instead of babysitters, bitch,
Speaker 3: she said, I am a pet mavel. He apologized, and
Speaker 3: we kind of left it at that. Here we go
Speaker 3: with the question Friday rolls around, I go out and
Speaker 3: have fun with my friends because I wanted to keep
Speaker 3: myself occupied while he had his quote unquote mental health time.
Speaker 3: The few times I text him, he gave me attitude like, oh,
Speaker 3: is that the thing you had to cancel because of me?
Speaker 1: And things like that.
Speaker 3: So when I got drunk later that night we argued,
Speaker 3: I blacked out towards the beginning of the argument, so
Speaker 3: I don't remember how it started.
Speaker 1: Ooh, bitches with accountability?
Speaker 3: Remember it ended with us yelling on the phone, me
Speaker 3: breaking a jar in my house, and my friends arguing
Speaker 3: with him because he kept calling while I was crying,
Speaker 3: and him laughing saying that I was being ridiculous. I
Speaker 3: woke up the next morning trying to find out what
Speaker 3: started to fight for my friends, but they didn't know.
Speaker 1: I tried to.
Speaker 3: Remember but couldn't, but couldn't. But I woke up knowing
Speaker 3: what had happened the night before was not good for
Speaker 3: either of us. So I called him immediately left a
Speaker 3: voicemail calling time of death on this relationship, saying we
Speaker 3: couldn't get it right at all at this point, and
Speaker 3: we were hurting each other with toxicity.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what the question could be here
Speaker 1: we go.
Speaker 3: Now that it's over, I feel guilty with how things ended.
Speaker 3: Am I crazy to think? I should apologize with how
Speaker 3: things ended or is this my emotions just using it
Speaker 3: to have an excuse to go back into the drama
Speaker 3: of this relationships, of this relationship.
Speaker 1: Thanks for the advice. Sorry, this was long. Yes, you
Speaker 1: are sorry.
Speaker 2: You should be sorry that you route us this ship
Speaker 2: and you knew the answer was no.
Speaker 1: No, loc is awesome.
Speaker 3: Here's the thing, and it reminds me of one of
Speaker 3: the chapters in the book. It does.
Speaker 1: Worth me because I call myself out. God damn it,
Speaker 1: well you have water right here.
Speaker 3: It reminds me of the fact that you think you
Speaker 3: deserve goddamn crumbs because that's all giving you.
Speaker 2: I had to get my hiller because man, he said,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take this opportunity to say, by the book
Speaker 2: you are chapter seventh.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: It is a reminder that a lot of people deserve
Speaker 3: the treatment of relationships that they get into because they
Speaker 3: don't believe that they deserve better themselves. So the fact
Speaker 3: that you now feel like you're in the wrong because
Speaker 3: you blacked out, I couldn't remember this. I think we
Speaker 3: have to be able to realize our draw and attachment
Speaker 3: to toxic drama field relationships.
Speaker 1: You know what I think this issue is what I think.
Speaker 2: This is a big, a big example of what happens
Speaker 2: when you put all of your eggs in one basket.
Speaker 2: I already could tell from how you talking you ain't
Speaker 2: got no other niggas on your line and probably period
Speaker 2: not saying that you are a battie, that you're not
Speaker 2: interesting or beautiful. You just don't want to do it.
Speaker 2: We hyper focus on one man. A lot of us
Speaker 2: want a relationship so bad this is no shape. I
Speaker 2: also am someone that is always looking for love. I'm
Speaker 2: a lover Girl'm an emoh. But when you hyper focus
Speaker 2: on one person, it isn't giving you the things that
Speaker 2: if you could write on a list of the things
Speaker 2: you want for yourself, for your friends, for anybody you
Speaker 2: care about, it wouldn't be this person.
Speaker 1: And yet still continue. You got to think about what
Speaker 1: you just did. You wrote into a podcast that you knew,
Speaker 1: can you stop telling me they gonna stop writing into people?
Speaker 2: Was going to say shit, I know you know, it
Speaker 2: ain't no way me and Mandy's gonna be like, yeah,
Speaker 2: go say sorry.
Speaker 1: Maybe they need to hear it. I mean that's kind
Speaker 1: of what it is you fear right now. And if
Speaker 1: you can't afford therapy, Great, glad we're here. We'll do
Speaker 1: it again.
Speaker 2: If you want to write another novel twenty dollars a month. Well, Also,
Speaker 2: it's not even the affording therapy sometimes. What it really is,
Speaker 2: in my opinion, is I don't want to be checked.
Speaker 2: Sometimes therapy is just holding the mirror up of like
Speaker 2: I don't know. Like I've said on this podcast before,
Speaker 2: I had to stop therapy sometimes because I think it
Speaker 2: did more bad than good.
Speaker 1: There's moments where I was like a little too much
Speaker 1: for me.
Speaker 2: I think even the point where you were like where
Speaker 2: he was like, you're acting ridiculous when you were crying.
Speaker 2: I was kind of agreeing only because I think sometimes
Speaker 2: maybe he's made you so mad you start spiraling.
Speaker 1: Wow nah nah.
Speaker 3: If we arguing and you arguing back, don't call me
Speaker 3: ridiculous with your gas lighting. Was married, moved in with
Speaker 3: another bitch? Now coming back to me? Motherfucking asked, that's
Speaker 3: a gaslighting tactic.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's ridiculous that she ye, but we're
Speaker 1: both arguing. She's not back yet.
Speaker 3: She claims that she's asking if she would be ridiculous
Speaker 3: to apologize and go back, so she's not back yet.
Speaker 3: I would say I agree with you easy in the
Speaker 3: fact that she may not have other niggas on the line,
Speaker 3: which is why she finds herself coming here. However, you
Speaker 3: and I both have had niggas the weeks spout on
Speaker 3: this podcast that did us wrong, that fucked us over,
Speaker 3: and we kept going back for certain times at a time, unfortunately.
Speaker 3: And I don't I assume she's our age now. She
Speaker 3: said the relationship was eight years ago when they were
Speaker 3: twenty five, twenty six. That means she's our age. That means,
Speaker 3: bitch getting together, you got it for thirty five years old.
Speaker 1: I do only honest. Yeah, bro, going back and forth
Speaker 1: to niggas is normal. It's normal at the point that
Speaker 1: you made it. It's not because you know what. We
Speaker 1: all have the big one.
Speaker 2: I think everybody in their relationship can pinpoint the big
Speaker 2: moment where they said, you know what, I'm not do
Speaker 2: an thistion anymore.
Speaker 1: I have one. You may have one, and.
Speaker 3: Bitch, I got two or three or four or fifty eleven. Okay,
Speaker 3: so this may be her fifth eleven. So what I'm
Speaker 3: gonna tell you, girl, is you really need to date
Speaker 3: other people. I also want to be man, is it?
Speaker 3: There are you're dating a better man? There are, but
Speaker 3: finding that gets a little difficult. But I have fun
Speaker 3: while you find you get a little difficult. I don't
Speaker 3: want to be a hypocrite because literally, at the end
Speaker 3: of last year, I talked about wanting to revisit somebody
Speaker 3: for my past, and I thought there was going to
Speaker 3: be a different.
Speaker 1: Nigga this time than a time he was before. And
Speaker 1: I literally talked about this on the podcast.
Speaker 3: Just for him to literally be the person that didn't
Speaker 3: fit who I was at thirty four and.
Speaker 1: Listen, got up and died.
Speaker 3: So to me, knowing that you dated this person at
Speaker 3: twenty five, twenty six years old, knowing that you're eight
Speaker 3: years older, I want you to believe that you have
Speaker 3: gone enough to not deal with the bullshit that this
Speaker 3: nigga is giving you today. Not only is he leading
Speaker 3: you on, it seems like y'all also don't live in
Speaker 3: the same city. So the fact that he's playing with
Speaker 3: your time, your money, and all those things eight years
Speaker 3: later makes me feel like he's that same nigga that
Speaker 3: was playing with you when he was married.
Speaker 2: Okay, so let me ask you something then, right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: they figure out it's the same man.
Speaker 1: It's some Scooby Doo type shit.
Speaker 3: They take out the masks and the nigga that they
Speaker 3: name old Man Jenkins.
Speaker 1: Right, all right, So where do you move on from there?
Speaker 1: You have to and I don't want to just say
Speaker 1: go to therapy.
Speaker 3: It has to be to where a woman and I
Speaker 3: hate colde a motherfucker art killy hold on.
Speaker 1: I was just saying, let's go, but no one else,
Speaker 1: No woman's fed up.
Speaker 3: It ain't nothing you can do about nothing you can do,
Speaker 3: but she has to be fed up for herself. Her
Speaker 3: friends ain't gonna be able to tell her to move on, bitch.
Speaker 3: The audience couldn't tell me to move on when I
Speaker 3: should have moved on. The parents ain't gonna be able
Speaker 3: to tell her to move on. Her pussy not gonna
Speaker 3: be able to tell her to move on until she
Speaker 3: physically understands her value, her worth and that there is
Speaker 3: better out there.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, the universe, however, God.
Speaker 3: Wanted to play because we ate that apple and eat
Speaker 3: the gard and the motherfucker edith into world. We'd be
Speaker 3: dumb as fuck for these niggas, and so unfortunately I
Speaker 3: have no advice to give her because she not gonna
Speaker 3: be able to move on until she genuinely believes she
Speaker 3: deserves better, she deserves more, and that someone on this
Speaker 3: earth can show up as that.
Speaker 1: I am blowing up, Mandy. Yeah, I am enough.
Speaker 2: I am perfect just the way I am right.
Speaker 1: Listenous bitch five nigga, that's right. Wait, there's another one
Speaker 1: on two or four. That's a good one. My past
Speaker 1: does not define me.
Speaker 2: I can read define my story starting here and now
Speaker 2: and find a book, Ladies.
Speaker 1: That now dead ass. I'm not gonna hold you, she said,
Speaker 1: there's a chat throw guess is about tell for being married.
Speaker 1: She used to post it notes all over her house.
Speaker 3: And whether you have them as your notes in your iPhone,
Speaker 3: or you need posting notes, or you need something every morning,
Speaker 3: if it's like something that where you go brush your teeth.
Speaker 3: I think that it's very important that somewhere you're able
Speaker 3: to affirm yourself. So whether you need to visibly see it,
Speaker 3: whether you need to recite it to yourself.
Speaker 1: I think that you're an alarmed there, like.
Speaker 3: Phone alarm. That's a good one, just in the middle
Speaker 3: of the day. Make it a three zho two pop.
Speaker 1: Literally, you think it's your alarm ringing and phone going off,
Speaker 1: and it's literally a fucking word of affirmation.
Speaker 3: I think it's important to affirm yourself that you deserve better,
Speaker 3: that you deserve the whole goddamn cake, not a crumb,
Speaker 3: and you deserve that you and you believe that you
Speaker 3: deserve the love that is awaiting you on the other
Speaker 3: side of this point.
Speaker 2: And it may the next man pay for your animal care,
Speaker 2: because I'll tell you right.
Speaker 1: Now, that's that's church to me. But that's crazy, that's
Speaker 1: my new personality. Yeah, no, take it from thee. I'm
Speaker 1: not your child go to church.
Speaker 2: I really do want you to fire better says And
Speaker 2: I know it's fucked up because I feel like a
Speaker 2: solo trip.
Speaker 1: Make going home that you really need other day period
Speaker 1: you do.
Speaker 3: And so you've got decisions to get us a dick
Speaker 3: that is our motherfucking and.
Speaker 1: Maybe're not gonna give you homework. I don't come on
Speaker 1: home out. I didn't take a guess. Tell us it
Speaker 1: actually goes out on Monday, okay or Wednesday. I'm sorry, yes, Wednesday,
Speaker 1: So May is starting in about forty eight hours for you. Sis.
Speaker 2: What you're gonna do is we're gonna give you a
Speaker 2: thirty day calendar, even though there's thirty one days in May.
Speaker 1: I don't care.
Speaker 2: You have thirty days to get a new dick inside
Speaker 2: of you. If you're thirty days to write us another
Speaker 2: goddamn you really only need one.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Just cut the nigga off hit block and never motherfucking
Speaker 3: on block because y'all bitches be block bo say he
Speaker 3: got some dick for you. Anyways, if you want us
Speaker 3: to read your questions, make sure you email us Decisions
Speaker 3: Pod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so very much.
Speaker 3: Again, make sure you hit up HB Tour dot com
Speaker 3: and get your tour tickets. We are touring from July
Speaker 3: to motherfucker September and we can't wait for y'all to
Speaker 3: see no holds bar go from the pages to the stages.
Speaker 3: Bitch wow, you liked h E all anyways, Thank you
Speaker 1: Mane