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Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.

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Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or

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Speaker 2: a terrible throuffle, guess what You've got decisions?

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Speaker 1: You've got decisions. Wait, I don't know if I sound

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Speaker 1: like her? Wait no, no, what was No? No, it's a man.

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Speaker 1: You've got mail. Yeah, but Siri is a woman. But

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Speaker 1: Siri nervus. You've got decisions? Ayay, no, damn? All right, anyway,

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Speaker 1: go ahead and we'll see espanol. Uh what.

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Speaker 3: Before we get started with this week's You've Got Decisions all,

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Speaker 3: we want to let you know if you haven't yet,

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Speaker 3: to go ahead and pre order our book, No Holds

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Speaker 3: Bard of Doing Manifesto, Sexual Exploration and Power You if

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Speaker 3: you want to see our pages come to life. We

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Speaker 3: have also announced that we are on Tour Baby starting

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Speaker 3: in July. Head over to NHB tour dot com to

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Speaker 3: get your tickets, your book, your VIP, just buy everything

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Speaker 3: that you see that is available for purchase.

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Speaker 2: I uh now that we have some copies that we're

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Speaker 2: sharing with press influencers, et cetera. My only friend that's

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Speaker 2: reading it right now is Breonna, and she was on

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Speaker 2: the train.

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Speaker 1: She goes, oh god, I just passed a masturbation me anything.

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Speaker 1: She's I'm reading holes.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like yeah, She's like it's too wordy, like

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Speaker 2: it's so weird because I know we haven't been through

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Speaker 2: this yet, Edd and you need to read it, but

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Speaker 2: having have any of your friends ready yet. I actually

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Speaker 2: just gave Key Key, Drea and Killa are copies, yeah,

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Speaker 2: because I recorded.

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Speaker 1: With them, and then.

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Speaker 3: I asked Shan for her address to get it to her,

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Speaker 3: like I'm working on getting into people, so pease will

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Speaker 3: have to other but I gave it to Break.

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Speaker 2: I also read, so when she started talking about it,

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, oh my god. My

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Speaker 2: boyfriend's also reading it and like even chapter where he's

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Speaker 2: in it a little bit.

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Speaker 1: He was like, I remember this in the first at it. Nigga,

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Speaker 1: Yes you did. I'm not gonna lie reading the book.

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Speaker 1: So y'all may not know.

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Speaker 3: Our book was ninety thousand plus words. We only needed

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Speaker 3: it to be sixty or sixty five. So I didn't

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Speaker 3: realize until we started reading it for the audiobook, how much.

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Speaker 1: Of my mother packet story is cut out? And pick

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Speaker 1: a number and you pick a number? What a number?

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Speaker 1: Just give me a number four thousand. No, I'm kidding. Thirty. Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's see, let's see a word from thirty. Oh it's wheezys.

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Speaker 2: She kept pulling me by my waist to sit on

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Speaker 2: her face, but I really just wanted to concentrate on

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Speaker 2: the moment instead, Naty, pick a number.

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Speaker 3: Uh up, two hundred and forty five?

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Speaker 1: The fuck bitch on here? No, I don't. Oh, look

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Speaker 1: it's wheezy chapter again. And look at the words that

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Speaker 1: pop out, you fucking whore.

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Speaker 3: So make sure you purchase her book nos Bart available

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Speaker 3: wherever you get.

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Speaker 1: We just lay that gave every episode that was Fu'm

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Speaker 1: not med with that, all right, y'all.

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Speaker 3: So this one's kind of lengthy, but I love that

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Speaker 3: she gave us backstory so that we can help her

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Speaker 3: just a little bit.

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Speaker 1: She love it. I'll get lost, I'll do too much.

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Speaker 1: Here we go.

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Speaker 3: Well, it's broken down in a paragraph, so I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: fallse a little bit. The way I've been reading, I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I feel like I could do a good job. All right,

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Speaker 3: hate me, Andy l Weezy. I just wanted to say

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Speaker 3: I randomly found your pod four years ago, and I've

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Speaker 3: been so grateful to have a space to listen to

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Speaker 3: women that get the one hundred percent quote unquote traditional life,

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Speaker 3: both sex and relationship that it may not be for everyone.

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Speaker 3: Here we go, with that being said, I need your advice.

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Speaker 3: About four months ago, my ex, who I had a

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Speaker 3: bad breakup turbulent relationship with, came back around. Like many

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Speaker 3: men before him, He's sang the same song, I want

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Speaker 3: to come back and do right by you.

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Speaker 1: I've changed and I'm ready to be the man you deserve.

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Speaker 3: Now this is not the first time I've heard this

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Speaker 3: from an ex. I just honestly never expected to hear

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Speaker 3: it from him. Backstory to this relationship about eight years ago.

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Speaker 3: I was twenty six and he was twenty five. We

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Speaker 3: were together for a year and a half when I

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Speaker 3: lived in another city. We instantly connected and got hot

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Speaker 3: and heavy quickly. Because the relationship was so intense, I

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Speaker 3: looked past a lot of things that didn't make sense.

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Speaker 3: Boy don't we all? Well, it turns out he was

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Speaker 3: married the entire relationship.

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Speaker 1: Long story short.

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Speaker 3: We broke up after I found proof and dared him

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Speaker 3: to come to me with his divorce decree and prove

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Speaker 3: me wrong.

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Speaker 1: How do you not know? I told you all about

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Speaker 1: the story. My friend pulled up to the house.

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Speaker 3: Obviously, he never showed up, so when he popped back up,

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Speaker 3: I was curious and immediately asked if he was single.

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Speaker 3: He forwarded me the link to the state that shows

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Speaker 3: the decree for his divorce, and we basically had the

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Speaker 3: closure I secretly always wanted. From there, we kept talking

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Speaker 3: and started to see each other again, but things would

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Speaker 3: happen that caused some sort of drama, like when he

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Speaker 3: came to visit me in Houston for a weekend and.

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Speaker 1: Immediately pulled away emotionally.

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Speaker 3: After he left back to the city, then it was

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Speaker 3: revealed that he in fact still lived with his new

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Speaker 3: ex not ex wife, in a house that he had

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Speaker 3: rented for them before they broke up. I ended up

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Speaker 3: breaking things off because I saw a repeat of last

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Speaker 3: time and decided enough was enough. Well, of course, after

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Speaker 3: I cut him off, he returned several weeks later.

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Speaker 1: This bitch, bitch, you returned. You allowed him to return.

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Speaker 1: He came back, You let him.

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Speaker 2: You did anyone see centered you invited him in this

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Speaker 2: time out of the house he rented from his ex,

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Speaker 2: completely broken up, and in a new house he bought

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Speaker 2: all on his own to show that he was one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent ready to start something with me on a

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Speaker 2: clean slate. It felt nice to be pursued, and I

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Speaker 2: started to think maybe we finally had a chance to

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Speaker 2: do it right.

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Speaker 1: What could possibly be in our way now?

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Speaker 3: Well, earlier last week, he asked me to come spend

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Speaker 3: the weekend with him in his new home so we

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Speaker 3: could see what a weekend at home looks like.

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Speaker 1: Uh with us after all these years apart.

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Speaker 3: I asked multiple times if he was sure, and he said, yes,

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Speaker 3: I want you here.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 3: Later in the week, he had several blow ups with

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Speaker 3: his ex about several items he had left in their home.

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Speaker 3: This caused him to lash out and drink very heavily

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Speaker 3: during the week, which he claims he doesn't do, but shocker,

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Speaker 3: he does. So I kept asking, are you sure you

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Speaker 3: want me there this weekend, and the response was yes,

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Speaker 3: I want you here.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 3: The Thursday before I was supposed to leave, we were

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Speaker 3: talking on the phone and I told him i'd leave

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Speaker 3: at a certain time to get this place.

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Speaker 1: He then proceeded to tell me I've been in a

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Speaker 1: bad place mentally and been drunk all week.

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Speaker 3: Bitch you, this is like a colomilation of all my niggas,

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Speaker 3: and I know I tried to do that word in

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Speaker 3: another episode.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm thinking of what was the word? A glom

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Speaker 1: aglomination That was right, but we couldn't figure it out.

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Speaker 1: You and another woman, he said, one of aglomination. Wouldn't

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Speaker 1: you learn this because you got to day and learning.

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Speaker 3: Goddamn it, he said, I've been in a bad place

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Speaker 3: mentally and been drunk all week. I shouldn't have invited

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Speaker 3: you when I told you yes to come. I need

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Speaker 3: some mental health days.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: This is not the first time he's used this in

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Speaker 3: the past few months to cancel things. So I said

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Speaker 3: okay and told him the next time, just tell me

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Speaker 3: the truth and not tell me what I want to hear.

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Speaker 3: Because I moved a lot of things around from the

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Speaker 3: weekend and arranged animal.

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Speaker 1: Care to spend time with him.

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Speaker 3: There is what animal care I hate instead of babysitters, bitch,

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Speaker 3: she said, I am a pet mavel. He apologized, and

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Speaker 3: we kind of left it at that. Here we go

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Speaker 3: with the question Friday rolls around, I go out and

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Speaker 3: have fun with my friends because I wanted to keep

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Speaker 3: myself occupied while he had his quote unquote mental health time.

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Speaker 3: The few times I text him, he gave me attitude like, oh,

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Speaker 3: is that the thing you had to cancel because of me?

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Speaker 1: And things like that.

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Speaker 3: So when I got drunk later that night we argued,

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Speaker 3: I blacked out towards the beginning of the argument, so

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Speaker 3: I don't remember how it started.

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Speaker 1: Ooh, bitches with accountability?

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Speaker 3: Remember it ended with us yelling on the phone, me

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Speaker 3: breaking a jar in my house, and my friends arguing

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Speaker 3: with him because he kept calling while I was crying,

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Speaker 3: and him laughing saying that I was being ridiculous. I

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Speaker 3: woke up the next morning trying to find out what

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Speaker 3: started to fight for my friends, but they didn't know.

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Speaker 1: I tried to.

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Speaker 3: Remember but couldn't, but couldn't. But I woke up knowing

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Speaker 3: what had happened the night before was not good for

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Speaker 3: either of us. So I called him immediately left a

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Speaker 3: voicemail calling time of death on this relationship, saying we

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Speaker 3: couldn't get it right at all at this point, and

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Speaker 3: we were hurting each other with toxicity.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know what the question could be here

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Speaker 1: we go.

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Speaker 3: Now that it's over, I feel guilty with how things ended.

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Speaker 3: Am I crazy to think? I should apologize with how

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Speaker 3: things ended or is this my emotions just using it

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Speaker 3: to have an excuse to go back into the drama

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Speaker 3: of this relationships, of this relationship.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for the advice. Sorry, this was long. Yes, you

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Speaker 1: are sorry.

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Speaker 2: You should be sorry that you route us this ship

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Speaker 2: and you knew the answer was no.

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Speaker 1: No, loc is awesome.

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Speaker 3: Here's the thing, and it reminds me of one of

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Speaker 3: the chapters in the book. It does.

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Speaker 1: Worth me because I call myself out. God damn it,

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Speaker 1: well you have water right here.

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Speaker 3: It reminds me of the fact that you think you

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Speaker 3: deserve goddamn crumbs because that's all giving you.

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Speaker 2: I had to get my hiller because man, he said,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna take this opportunity to say, by the book

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Speaker 2: you are chapter seventh.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 3: It is a reminder that a lot of people deserve

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Speaker 3: the treatment of relationships that they get into because they

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Speaker 3: don't believe that they deserve better themselves. So the fact

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Speaker 3: that you now feel like you're in the wrong because

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Speaker 3: you blacked out, I couldn't remember this. I think we

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Speaker 3: have to be able to realize our draw and attachment

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Speaker 3: to toxic drama field relationships.

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Speaker 1: You know what I think this issue is what I think.

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Speaker 2: This is a big, a big example of what happens

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Speaker 2: when you put all of your eggs in one basket.

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Speaker 2: I already could tell from how you talking you ain't

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Speaker 2: got no other niggas on your line and probably period

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Speaker 2: not saying that you are a battie, that you're not

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Speaker 2: interesting or beautiful. You just don't want to do it.

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Speaker 2: We hyper focus on one man. A lot of us

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Speaker 2: want a relationship so bad this is no shape. I

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Speaker 2: also am someone that is always looking for love. I'm

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Speaker 2: a lover Girl'm an emoh. But when you hyper focus

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Speaker 2: on one person, it isn't giving you the things that

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Speaker 2: if you could write on a list of the things

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Speaker 2: you want for yourself, for your friends, for anybody you

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Speaker 2: care about, it wouldn't be this person.

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Speaker 1: And yet still continue. You got to think about what

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Speaker 1: you just did. You wrote into a podcast that you knew,

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Speaker 1: can you stop telling me they gonna stop writing into people?

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Speaker 2: Was going to say shit, I know you know, it

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Speaker 2: ain't no way me and Mandy's gonna be like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: go say sorry.

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Speaker 1: Maybe they need to hear it. I mean that's kind

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Speaker 1: of what it is you fear right now. And if

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Speaker 1: you can't afford therapy, Great, glad we're here. We'll do

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Speaker 1: it again.

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Speaker 2: If you want to write another novel twenty dollars a month. Well, Also,

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Speaker 2: it's not even the affording therapy sometimes. What it really is,

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Speaker 2: in my opinion, is I don't want to be checked.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes therapy is just holding the mirror up of like

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Like I've said on this podcast before,

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Speaker 2: I had to stop therapy sometimes because I think it

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Speaker 2: did more bad than good.

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Speaker 1: There's moments where I was like a little too much

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Speaker 1: for me.

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Speaker 2: I think even the point where you were like where

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Speaker 2: he was like, you're acting ridiculous when you were crying.

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Speaker 2: I was kind of agreeing only because I think sometimes

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Speaker 2: maybe he's made you so mad you start spiraling.

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Speaker 1: Wow nah nah.

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Speaker 3: If we arguing and you arguing back, don't call me

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Speaker 3: ridiculous with your gas lighting. Was married, moved in with

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Speaker 3: another bitch? Now coming back to me? Motherfucking asked, that's

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Speaker 3: a gaslighting tactic.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's ridiculous that she ye, but we're

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Speaker 1: both arguing. She's not back yet.

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Speaker 3: She claims that she's asking if she would be ridiculous

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Speaker 3: to apologize and go back, so she's not back yet.

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Speaker 3: I would say I agree with you easy in the

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Speaker 3: fact that she may not have other niggas on the line,

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Speaker 3: which is why she finds herself coming here. However, you

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Speaker 3: and I both have had niggas the weeks spout on

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Speaker 3: this podcast that did us wrong, that fucked us over,

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Speaker 3: and we kept going back for certain times at a time, unfortunately.

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Speaker 3: And I don't I assume she's our age now. She

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Speaker 3: said the relationship was eight years ago when they were

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Speaker 3: twenty five, twenty six. That means she's our age. That means,

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Speaker 3: bitch getting together, you got it for thirty five years old.

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Speaker 1: I do only honest. Yeah, bro, going back and forth

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Speaker 1: to niggas is normal. It's normal at the point that

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Speaker 1: you made it. It's not because you know what. We

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Speaker 1: all have the big one.

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Speaker 2: I think everybody in their relationship can pinpoint the big

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Speaker 2: moment where they said, you know what, I'm not do

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Speaker 2: an thistion anymore.

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Speaker 1: I have one. You may have one, and.

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Speaker 3: Bitch, I got two or three or four or fifty eleven. Okay,

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Speaker 3: so this may be her fifth eleven. So what I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna tell you, girl, is you really need to date

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Speaker 3: other people. I also want to be man, is it?

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Speaker 3: There are you're dating a better man? There are, but

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Speaker 3: finding that gets a little difficult. But I have fun

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Speaker 3: while you find you get a little difficult. I don't

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Speaker 3: want to be a hypocrite because literally, at the end

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Speaker 3: of last year, I talked about wanting to revisit somebody

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Speaker 3: for my past, and I thought there was going to

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Speaker 3: be a different.

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Speaker 1: Nigga this time than a time he was before. And

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Speaker 1: I literally talked about this on the podcast.

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Speaker 3: Just for him to literally be the person that didn't

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Speaker 3: fit who I was at thirty four and.

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Speaker 1: Listen, got up and died.

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Speaker 3: So to me, knowing that you dated this person at

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Speaker 3: twenty five, twenty six years old, knowing that you're eight

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Speaker 3: years older, I want you to believe that you have

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Speaker 3: gone enough to not deal with the bullshit that this

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Speaker 3: nigga is giving you today. Not only is he leading

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Speaker 3: you on, it seems like y'all also don't live in

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Speaker 3: the same city. So the fact that he's playing with

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Speaker 3: your time, your money, and all those things eight years

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Speaker 3: later makes me feel like he's that same nigga that

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Speaker 3: was playing with you when he was married.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so let me ask you something then, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they figure out it's the same man.

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Speaker 1: It's some Scooby Doo type shit.

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Speaker 3: They take out the masks and the nigga that they

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Speaker 3: name old Man Jenkins.

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Speaker 1: Right, all right, So where do you move on from there?

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Speaker 1: You have to and I don't want to just say

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Speaker 1: go to therapy.

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Speaker 3: It has to be to where a woman and I

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Speaker 3: hate colde a motherfucker art killy hold on.

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Speaker 1: I was just saying, let's go, but no one else,

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Speaker 1: No woman's fed up.

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Speaker 3: It ain't nothing you can do about nothing you can do,

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Speaker 3: but she has to be fed up for herself. Her

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Speaker 3: friends ain't gonna be able to tell her to move on, bitch.

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Speaker 3: The audience couldn't tell me to move on when I

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Speaker 3: should have moved on. The parents ain't gonna be able

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Speaker 3: to tell her to move on. Her pussy not gonna

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Speaker 3: be able to tell her to move on until she

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Speaker 3: physically understands her value, her worth and that there is

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Speaker 3: better out there.

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately, the universe, however, God.

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Speaker 3: Wanted to play because we ate that apple and eat

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Speaker 3: the gard and the motherfucker edith into world. We'd be

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Speaker 3: dumb as fuck for these niggas, and so unfortunately I

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Speaker 3: have no advice to give her because she not gonna

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Speaker 3: be able to move on until she genuinely believes she

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Speaker 3: deserves better, she deserves more, and that someone on this

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Speaker 3: earth can show up as that.

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Speaker 1: I am blowing up, Mandy. Yeah, I am enough.

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Speaker 2: I am perfect just the way I am right.

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Speaker 1: Listenous bitch five nigga, that's right. Wait, there's another one

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Speaker 1: on two or four. That's a good one. My past

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Speaker 1: does not define me.

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Speaker 2: I can read define my story starting here and now

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Speaker 2: and find a book, Ladies.

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Speaker 1: That now dead ass. I'm not gonna hold you, she said,

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Speaker 1: there's a chat throw guess is about tell for being married.

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Speaker 1: She used to post it notes all over her house.

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Speaker 3: And whether you have them as your notes in your iPhone,

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Speaker 3: or you need posting notes, or you need something every morning,

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Speaker 3: if it's like something that where you go brush your teeth.

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Speaker 3: I think that it's very important that somewhere you're able

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Speaker 3: to affirm yourself. So whether you need to visibly see it,

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Speaker 3: whether you need to recite it to yourself.

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Speaker 1: I think that you're an alarmed there, like.

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Speaker 3: Phone alarm. That's a good one, just in the middle

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Speaker 3: of the day. Make it a three zho two pop.

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Speaker 1: Literally, you think it's your alarm ringing and phone going off,

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Speaker 1: and it's literally a fucking word of affirmation.

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Speaker 3: I think it's important to affirm yourself that you deserve better,

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Speaker 3: that you deserve the whole goddamn cake, not a crumb,

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Speaker 3: and you deserve that you and you believe that you

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Speaker 3: deserve the love that is awaiting you on the other

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Speaker 3: side of this point.

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Speaker 2: And it may the next man pay for your animal care,

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Speaker 2: because I'll tell you right.

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Speaker 1: Now, that's that's church to me. But that's crazy, that's

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Speaker 1: my new personality. Yeah, no, take it from thee. I'm

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Speaker 1: not your child go to church.

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Speaker 2: I really do want you to fire better says And

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Speaker 2: I know it's fucked up because I feel like a

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Speaker 2: solo trip.

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Speaker 1: Make going home that you really need other day period

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Speaker 1: you do.

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Speaker 3: And so you've got decisions to get us a dick

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Speaker 3: that is our motherfucking and.

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Speaker 1: Maybe're not gonna give you homework. I don't come on

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Speaker 1: home out. I didn't take a guess. Tell us it

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Speaker 1: actually goes out on Monday, okay or Wednesday. I'm sorry, yes, Wednesday,

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Speaker 1: So May is starting in about forty eight hours for you. Sis.

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Speaker 2: What you're gonna do is we're gonna give you a

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Speaker 2: thirty day calendar, even though there's thirty one days in May.

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Speaker 1: I don't care.

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Speaker 2: You have thirty days to get a new dick inside

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Speaker 2: of you. If you're thirty days to write us another

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Speaker 2: goddamn you really only need one.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: Just cut the nigga off hit block and never motherfucking

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Speaker 3: on block because y'all bitches be block bo say he

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Speaker 3: got some dick for you. Anyways, if you want us

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Speaker 3: to read your questions, make sure you email us Decisions

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Speaker 3: Pod at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 1: Thank you guys so very much.

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Speaker 3: Again, make sure you hit up HB Tour dot com

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00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,200
Speaker 3: and get your tour tickets. We are touring from July

392
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Speaker 3: to motherfucker September and we can't wait for y'all to

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Speaker 3: see no holds bar go from the pages to the stages.

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Speaker 3: Bitch wow, you liked h E all anyways, Thank you

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Speaker 1: Mane