WEBVTT - MFM Minisode 494

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, and welcome to my favorite murder, the Miniso.

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<v Speaker 2>That's right, you got it. It's the Miniso. The day

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<v Speaker 2>before our vacation starts. So we are fucking faruh as shit.

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<v Speaker 1>We're about to say the hottest takes in content Land.

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<v Speaker 2>Can I go first? I love this one?

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<v Speaker 1>Please do?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay? Oh, I'm trying not to disappoint you or scare

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<v Speaker 2>you or so loud that I upset people. Oh, this

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<v Speaker 2>one's called Matthew Shepherd, Romayne Patterson, a fucking badass bitch. Hi,

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<v Speaker 2>Karen Georgia and the entire adjacent animal Kingdom. First of all,

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<v Speaker 2>I was at the Portland Live Show recently. You guys

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<v Speaker 2>killed it. It's been so fun listening to recent episodes

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<v Speaker 2>and catching the little stregs from that night. Don't remember

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<v Speaker 2>a single thing we said.

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<v Speaker 1>What are the Easter eggs like? Are they filled with? You?

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<v Speaker 1>Tell us candy egg Calby. We hid fifty thousand dollars cash.

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<v Speaker 2>In that theater.

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<v Speaker 1>In the theater.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm writing because of your recent episode on Matthew Shepherd.

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<v Speaker 2>You did such a beautiful, respectful job with it. But

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<v Speaker 2>there is a total badass in the story that I

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<v Speaker 2>need to make sure is on your radar. Matthew's close

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<v Speaker 2>friend Romayne Patterson. When the absolute garbage fire that is

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<v Speaker 2>the Westboro Baptist's Church showed up to pick it Matthew's

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<v Speaker 2>funeral with horrific signs, Romayne said, absolutely not. She mobilized

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<v Speaker 2>the squad of people dressed in massive ten foot tall

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<v Speaker 2>white angel costumes with giant wings. Oh she's crying already.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's the most brilliant. Yeah, it's the most brilliant

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<v Speaker 1>way to fight. Just block it, yeah, yeah, block it

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<v Speaker 1>with with angels totally.

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<v Speaker 2>They stood in a line right in front of the protesters,

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<v Speaker 2>silently blocking the hate with their wings.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh.

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<v Speaker 2>It must have enraged them so much because it's also

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<v Speaker 2>like angels. Yeah, that's exactly what would happen. It was

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<v Speaker 2>a brilliant, peaceful, visually stunning middle finger called Angel action,

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<v Speaker 2>and there's photos of it. Look at that they made these.

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<v Speaker 2>So they're these angel wings that have these like tent

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<v Speaker 2>pole things sticking out of the shoulder, so that the

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<v Speaker 2>wings are really high and large and blocking the hate.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like five foot expanse on either side, so you

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<v Speaker 1>just cannot see their terrible signs and their horrible faces.

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<v Speaker 2>It's such a brilliant, quiet, peaceful way to protest monsters.

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<v Speaker 2>Romayne wrote an incredible memoir about it called The Whole

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<v Speaker 2>World Was Watching, and her activism and those giant angels

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<v Speaker 2>became a huge part of the play The Laramie Project

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<v Speaker 2>by Moyses Kaufman. She now hosts a podcast with her

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<v Speaker 2>close friend and it's hilarious. It's called Derek and Romayne Amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>This is where it gets personal for me. I actually

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<v Speaker 2>got a b Romaine in The Laramie Project when I

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<v Speaker 2>was in high school. Being a part of that play,

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<v Speaker 2>feeling the weight of the story and seeing Romayne's fierce

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<v Speaker 2>love for her friend was the exact catalyst that gave

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<v Speaker 2>me the courage to come out as a pan woman.

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<v Speaker 2>My high school theater teacher even had her sign a

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<v Speaker 2>copy of her novel for me when I graduated high school.

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<v Speaker 2>It is my most fond memory of high school. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>I am a teacher in a tiny rural town in

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<v Speaker 2>southern Oregon, so stories about young people standing up to

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<v Speaker 2>hate and changing the world through creative resistance mean everything

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<v Speaker 2>to me. Romayne is an absolute legend, and her legacy

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<v Speaker 2>literally changed the trajectory of my life. Happy Pride, month,

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<v Speaker 2>stay sexy and keep fighting the bigots. Carolyne MacArthur she her, Wow,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so glad she wrote that, because I definitely saw

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<v Speaker 2>that when I was doing my research, and I for

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<v Speaker 2>time had to.

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<v Speaker 1>Just say, your Kate can'ts talk about it all.

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<v Speaker 2>That's it's on story in itself.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's beautiful because it's like people know the importance

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<v Speaker 1>of romaine in that story, and so it's like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you can't tell it all.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's an integral part of the story. And I'm

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<v Speaker 2>so glad that email got it.

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<v Speaker 1>Also, I love like that the desperation level to have

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<v Speaker 1>to figure out a creative solution to that horrible protesting

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<v Speaker 1>and that the horrible church. Yeah, and then what has

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<v Speaker 1>evolved since that time?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Where have you seen the ones where it's just like

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<v Speaker 1>they'll be that those types of horrible protesters and then

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<v Speaker 1>someone will just hold a sign next to them that's

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<v Speaker 1>this guys.

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<v Speaker 2>These guys are idiots or something like that, or like.

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<v Speaker 1>Someone just look like there's it's so funny. They're all

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<v Speaker 1>they all say all different things, or sometimes they just

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<v Speaker 1>put them up in front and it just says something random. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's so funny. And it makes me think, like

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<v Speaker 1>with stuff like this, and I know this seems like

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<v Speaker 1>off topic, but it that's why it's really important for

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<v Speaker 1>people to go into the arts, to know how to write,

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<v Speaker 1>to know how to act, to know how to sing

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<v Speaker 1>or dance or play an instrument, to see the beauty

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<v Speaker 1>and that and that the Laramie project can get made

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<v Speaker 1>by the people who want to make it because they're like,

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<v Speaker 1>this can't be happening right more, and we're gonna do

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna not just let it sit as a news story, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but then tell that story again and again in other ways.

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<v Speaker 2>So incredible.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's like if anybody's like, oh AI is going

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<v Speaker 1>to take over that, it's no, no, no, it can't

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<v Speaker 1>speak for people.

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<v Speaker 2>The humanity in it is something that cannot be turned

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<v Speaker 2>into AI. That's right.

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<v Speaker 1>And on that same note, let me reach you my

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<v Speaker 1>first email.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>The subject line of this is big news from Petaluma.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh.

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<v Speaker 1>It says, Hey, they're Karen and Georgia. Day one listener

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<v Speaker 1>writing in with hometown news to share with Karen and Georgia.

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<v Speaker 1>For the past few months, there's been a great horned

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<v Speaker 1>owl that has taken residence on the face of the

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<v Speaker 1>circa eighteen eighty five building in downtown Pedaluma.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I.

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<v Speaker 1>Heard nothing of this. My sister's in the like the

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<v Speaker 1>last week of kindergarten before they go on summer break,

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<v Speaker 1>so she's not paying attention. Yeah, I have no one

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<v Speaker 1>on the ground.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, tell me everything. I love this.

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<v Speaker 1>She is attracting visitors from near and far who are

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<v Speaker 1>all concerned for her fledgling chicks. Last week of the

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<v Speaker 1>chicks attempted flight, and since she's literally in the middle

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<v Speaker 1>of downtown and there are no large tree branches near

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<v Speaker 1>the nest, she glided to the sidewalk below see photo attached.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, God, wait, if you give me one second,

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<v Speaker 2>I can figure out where the yah.

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<v Speaker 1>That's how well I know I have you know what

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<v Speaker 1>it is. It's it used to be a weird shoe store.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh huh.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm pretty sure that's just at the corner of

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<v Speaker 1>Western Pard It's like a la boo boo. I love it.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean she looks like over it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>She was taken to the local Wildlife Rescue for rehabilitation

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<v Speaker 1>and flight training, and the folks of downtown have been

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<v Speaker 1>banding together to create a safe environment for the other

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<v Speaker 1>baby to make her first trip out of the nest.

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<v Speaker 1>And it says so pedalomma, which it is, yeah, or

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<v Speaker 1>a town built on chickens, so we respect birds of

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<v Speaker 1>all types. My sister and I own a small salon

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<v Speaker 1>in the building that the owls have nested on, and

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<v Speaker 1>it has been such a pleasure to have such majestic roommates.

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<v Speaker 1>Even if I am terrified at birds, We've really enjoyed

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<v Speaker 1>meeting folks from our town and remembering that community and

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<v Speaker 1>joy is the most important thing in this fucked up world.

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<v Speaker 1>Next time you're downtown, give us a wave. We're the

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<v Speaker 1>ones with the groovy wallpaper. Stay sexy and talk to

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<v Speaker 1>your neighbors. Maria and she works at Honeybee Color Collective

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<v Speaker 1>in Pudloma.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to live in a small town. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>I guess my neighborhoods kind of small town ish, but

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<v Speaker 2>like surrounded by Los Angeles, right, I want to live

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<v Speaker 2>in a town like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I had no idea how the level of privilege

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<v Speaker 1>of just like you know, the person that works in

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<v Speaker 1>that store you were going. I told you the story

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<v Speaker 1>of one time Nora was getting math tutoring and she

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<v Speaker 1>heard math tutor who's like, it's him and his wife

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<v Speaker 1>that run the place, and she was done with all

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<v Speaker 1>her tests and she did really good. So he's like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>if you want to walk down, I'll go get you

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<v Speaker 1>in ice cream. So the two of them are walking

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<v Speaker 1>down pelam With Boulevard. She's probably a lot or twelve.

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<v Speaker 1>My sister said she got no less than ten phone

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<v Speaker 1>calls from all the different people.

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<v Speaker 2>You're like, child is with a random not random, but

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<v Speaker 2>a man.

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<v Speaker 1>To them, it was random. Yeah, They're like, I just

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<v Speaker 1>Laura just saw North. It was the funniest or just

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<v Speaker 1>like yeah, that's really sweet. Nice. Oh wait, there's a

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<v Speaker 1>PS two. Okay, it says PS. I was a model

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<v Speaker 1>for the Biobottoms catalog in the early nineties. That's where

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<v Speaker 1>I worked. It was the baby clothing catalog. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>that polyclass's mom was my manager. Oh remember that? God? Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>that was like I flunked out of Sack State, I

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<v Speaker 1>moved home, got the job at Biobottoms, had to get

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<v Speaker 1>be there at five point thirty every morning, and then

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<v Speaker 1>I was off at one.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 1>And that was this weird life I lived before I

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<v Speaker 1>moved into the city. This person was a Biobottoms baby model.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 1>That's who we got the email from. That's Maria.

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<v Speaker 2>Look at little Maria in the seaside shorts sop cotton Jersey.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my, hold on, Maria says I, I wonder if

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<v Speaker 1>that was the time you worked for them as well,

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<v Speaker 1>early nineties. It was, And then it says many of

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<v Speaker 1>not all of us, were the children that the people

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<v Speaker 1>who worked there. And my dad was a contractor for

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<v Speaker 1>the offices at the time. Right.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, how cute?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean Maria, that was like she just gave me

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<v Speaker 1>a little Are you homesick?

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<v Speaker 2>And oh that's so cute.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, if you want to give me like weekly pedal updates,

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<v Speaker 1>do not be afraid to write it.

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<v Speaker 2>We're going to say haircuts. But that's good. Pedal of

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<v Speaker 2>my haircuts? What's a pedal in my haircut?

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<v Speaker 1>Loo was real high in the back and in the

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<v Speaker 1>front some streaks.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeap, okay. This one's called another fake illness resulting in

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<v Speaker 2>a hospital visit with a twist. Oh dearest ladies. I

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<v Speaker 2>was recently listening to Minniesode four twenty three, where someone

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<v Speaker 2>shared their story of how they faked blindness and had

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<v Speaker 2>to go to the hospital when they were thirteen, and

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<v Speaker 2>it brought back a memory of my own similar story

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<v Speaker 2>where I took a fake illness way too far. I

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<v Speaker 2>used to fake sick all the time to get out

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<v Speaker 2>of school when I was a kid. I did it

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<v Speaker 2>when I forgot to do my homework, had to give

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<v Speaker 2>a presentation at school, had detention, or generally didn't feel

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<v Speaker 2>like going same Looking back, this was probably a symptom

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<v Speaker 2>of the anxiety that now runs my life as an adult.

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<v Speaker 2>And then shrug emoji. There was one day when I

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<v Speaker 2>was a young middle schooler that I knew I needed

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<v Speaker 2>to really sell it. I had already faked being sick

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<v Speaker 2>a couple times that week, and I knew my mom

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't going to fall for at this time. So I

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<v Speaker 2>had the idea to crush up some cheerios and drop

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<v Speaker 2>some food coloring into the toilet to make it look

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<v Speaker 2>like I had thrown up. Genius stay right. Thinking it

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<v Speaker 2>looked perfect, I went out told my mom I had

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<v Speaker 2>thrown up and showed her the evidence, thinking there was

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<v Speaker 2>no way she could deny me my day off. My

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<v Speaker 2>mom took one look at it and immediately put me

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<v Speaker 2>in the car to go to the hospital because the

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<v Speaker 2>food coloring made it look like I had thrown up blood.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh the instinct to grab the little red dropper, right,

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<v Speaker 1>little yellow be that good at getting out of school?

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<v Speaker 2>And it says, well, shit. Also, I wonder if her

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<v Speaker 2>mom was like, I know this is food coming. Let's

0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:08.559
<v Speaker 2>see how first she'll take this, Like, at what point

0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:09.320
<v Speaker 2>is she gonna.

0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:11.360
<v Speaker 1>Let's scare the shit out of her? Yeah? Nothing?

0:11:11.800 --> 0:11:15.440
<v Speaker 2>Not good? Okay, well shit. At the hospital, the doctors

0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:18.440
<v Speaker 2>decided to X ray my esophagus with one of those

0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:20.560
<v Speaker 2>tube things that they put on your throat by way

0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:24.080
<v Speaker 2>of your mouth. The anxious kid I was. And then

0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:27.400
<v Speaker 2>it says, am I said not a word to anyone

0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:30.360
<v Speaker 2>that I was totally faking the entire time, and went

0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:34.960
<v Speaker 2>through with it. They had to put me under for

0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:39.480
<v Speaker 2>this procedure and I still said nothing. Oh my god,

0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:43.800
<v Speaker 2>So my luck they found something. It turned out that

0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:47.600
<v Speaker 2>I did have a tear in my esophagus. I remember,

0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:49.600
<v Speaker 2>it was nothing major. I just had to take a

0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:53.080
<v Speaker 2>very nasty tasting medicine the texture of thick milk. Mom

0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.880
<v Speaker 2>in emoji, but if that was my punishment for getting

0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:57.600
<v Speaker 2>away with lying, so be it.

0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:02.040
<v Speaker 1>But she wasn't lying, or they weren't lying because there

0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:04.080
<v Speaker 1>was something wrong. That's why she didn't want to go

0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:06.959
<v Speaker 1>to school. Maybe she knew something there and just the

0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:12.200
<v Speaker 1>messaging wasn't accurate. You're very generous, just saying sometimes we

0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:16.920
<v Speaker 1>have anxiety for your body always just like, oh, it's crazy.

0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:19.559
<v Speaker 1>I have this reaction and say, yeah, your body knows stuff.

0:12:19.640 --> 0:12:22.280
<v Speaker 2>You have anxiety and tearing your esophagus.

0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:25.680
<v Speaker 1>Your brain is trying to go something's wrong downstairs. And

0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:27.480
<v Speaker 1>then you're just like, I'm so crazy.

0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:29.560
<v Speaker 2>It's like the adults are supposed to catch it, but

0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:31.560
<v Speaker 2>they really don't give a shit most of the time.

0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:33.000
<v Speaker 1>How does one tear the one?

0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.679
<v Speaker 2>I think coughing really hard? Maybe everyone let us know.

0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:41.920
<v Speaker 2>How do you esophagus? Doctors? How do you tear an esophagus? Anyway?

0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:45.560
<v Speaker 2>Over ACDC song Over two decades later, I have never

0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:47.920
<v Speaker 2>told this story to anyone, but now that I know

0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:50.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm not alone in this kind of stupidity, it feels

0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.120
<v Speaker 2>like a good time to get it off my chest.

0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:53.280
<v Speaker 2>You didn't tell your mom.

0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:57.120
<v Speaker 1>I think that the fact that we're the first people

0:12:57.480 --> 0:12:59.480
<v Speaker 1>that they've told, we should send them.

0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:00.000
<v Speaker 2>Like a sweatshirt.

0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:03.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because that's huge to admit something that you were like,

0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:05.600
<v Speaker 1>you fucked up, you had surgery.

0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:08.120
<v Speaker 2>Her name is be just the letter b B. I

0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:11.240
<v Speaker 2>love you, ladies, dearly, stay sexy and stick to your story.

0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:13.120
<v Speaker 2>You might just get away with it. B.

0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:16.520
<v Speaker 1>How did you get away with it? You went under

0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:17.760
<v Speaker 1>you had surgery?

0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:22.319
<v Speaker 2>Just she kept yes, ending her own fucking like mistake.

0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:25.800
<v Speaker 1>She's like, no matter what, as long as I'm not

0:13:25.840 --> 0:13:28.320
<v Speaker 1>in school, right, it's fine. And yeah I could be

0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.040
<v Speaker 1>having major surgery. Hey, I'd rather do that than be

0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:31.560
<v Speaker 1>in school.

0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:35.240
<v Speaker 2>Send us your years later confessions. I fucking love those.

0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:38.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's genius at my favorite murder at Gmail years

0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:43.360
<v Speaker 1>later confessions. Also because Bee's mom can't be mad because

0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:44.600
<v Speaker 1>there was something to wear.

0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:48.000
<v Speaker 2>Something wrong, and you're right, maybe it was like yes,

0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:51.640
<v Speaker 2>six instincts, there was no ghost in he esophagus.

0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:56.640
<v Speaker 1>It was she had a haunted throat. Okay, this one,

0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:59.640
<v Speaker 1>the subject line is can't find a goth find a

0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:03.920
<v Speaker 1>cost employee. Okay, Hey, hey, hey, I'm starting to write

0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:06.199
<v Speaker 1>this as my sixth grade students are doing a short

0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:09.840
<v Speaker 1>written response after watching a video about Hazel ying Lee.

0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 1>First heard on MFM episode five point thirty one. I

0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:16.080
<v Speaker 1>live in Hood River, about forty five minutes outside of Portland.

0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:16.719
<v Speaker 2>Wow.

0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:20.200
<v Speaker 1>Awesome local hero. When I was about sixteen years old,

0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:22.960
<v Speaker 1>I was in Costco with my mom and friend. While

0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:25.440
<v Speaker 1>working our way around the store, I felt that two

0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:28.880
<v Speaker 1>men were very consistently behind us. I didn't give it

0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:31.160
<v Speaker 1>much of a second thought because it was there's a

0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:34.520
<v Speaker 1>certain flow to Costco, and maybe we started our journey

0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:38.560
<v Speaker 1>at the same time. In place you're like, no one's

0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:39.520
<v Speaker 1>no one needs a TV.

0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:43.200
<v Speaker 2>Everyone go yeah, it's like a it's really slow, Like, oh,

0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:45.800
<v Speaker 2>it's like a what are those lap lazy river? It's

0:14:45.800 --> 0:14:46.600
<v Speaker 2>a lazy river.

0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:48.960
<v Speaker 1>It's a shopping lazy river.

0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:49.880
<v Speaker 2>Feels so good?

0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:52.440
<v Speaker 1>Do you need a sweat your weekend? Amble over this way?

0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:53.000
<v Speaker 2>This way?

0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:56.160
<v Speaker 1>So mindless and nice. Okay, it's really nice. There's one

0:14:56.240 --> 0:15:01.760
<v Speaker 1>very close to her, is there? Okay? However, my mom

0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:04.800
<v Speaker 1>was an og murderino. I grew up watching and in parentheses,

0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:07.960
<v Speaker 1>I grew up watching forty eight hours, Dateline, Snapped, et cetera.

0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:10.960
<v Speaker 1>She and Brian Williams taught me how to determine if

0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:14.560
<v Speaker 1>you're being followed after circling back, weaving through the baby clothes,

0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:17.880
<v Speaker 1>granola bars and flowers, they were still behind me. I

0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:20.200
<v Speaker 1>caught back up with my friend, who immediately grabbed my

0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:23.080
<v Speaker 1>arm and said, those guys were looking for you, saying

0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:25.960
<v Speaker 1>she's wearing a blue pokea dot dress. I indeed was

0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:28.920
<v Speaker 1>wearing a blue poked dot dress. After a short meeting

0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:33.400
<v Speaker 1>of the minds, now including my mom, Gina, Gina, Yes, Gina,

0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:36.560
<v Speaker 1>is Gina allowed to have her own cigarette and Costco

0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:37.840
<v Speaker 1>just because she's that special.

0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:39.560
<v Speaker 2>Only she's a charredy.

0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:43.440
<v Speaker 1>She's just like it's me, Jan's. I got a shop,

0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:44.720
<v Speaker 1>I gotta get some stuff done.

0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:45.440
<v Speaker 2>I got a smoke.

0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:48.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm not putting this thing out. We decided we needed

0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:51.040
<v Speaker 1>to keep them in our eyesight to ensure we weren't

0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:53.600
<v Speaker 1>in theirs. Once we saw them go to the checkout,

0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:57.960
<v Speaker 1>we were in the clear, or so we THEO. We

0:15:58.000 --> 0:15:59.720
<v Speaker 1>got into the line, and as it is our turn,

0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:01.840
<v Speaker 1>we see them waiting on the other side near the

0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:05.680
<v Speaker 1>tire center, staring. I was creeped the fuck out, not

0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:08.280
<v Speaker 1>wanting to be forced towards them, I informed the Costco

0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:12.920
<v Speaker 1>employee scanning my items. He, understanding the assignment, casually looked

0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:16.760
<v Speaker 1>over and said, whoa, that is so creepy. He did

0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:20.240
<v Speaker 1>this a few more times, mentioning, Wow, they're just staring

0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:23.360
<v Speaker 1>you down. He ultimately said he would walk us to

0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:26.080
<v Speaker 1>our car. Then he said, I have a better idea,

0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.080
<v Speaker 1>and then he came back with the single largest man

0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:32.960
<v Speaker 1>I have ever seen in my life. I a giant.

0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:36.760
<v Speaker 1>A giant at Costco. Have I died and gone to heaven?

0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:39.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean he could have been the mountain in the

0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:42.960
<v Speaker 1>Game of Thrones. He was now our designated escort to

0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:45.640
<v Speaker 1>the car. The original cashier went over to the men

0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:48.320
<v Speaker 1>to distract them, talk with them, and he ended up

0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:51.280
<v Speaker 1>walking them to their car while our gentle giant walked

0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:54.520
<v Speaker 1>us to ours. He hit our license plate from view,

0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:57.600
<v Speaker 1>packed all of our things into our cars, all while

0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:01.320
<v Speaker 1>keeping one eye on those men again and repeatedly calling

0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:03.760
<v Speaker 1>them creeps and instructing us to take back roads home

0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:05.960
<v Speaker 1>and if it looks like we're being followed, called nine

0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:09.000
<v Speaker 1>one one immediately and do not go home, just keep driving.

0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:09.760
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god.

0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:13.920
<v Speaker 1>And then separate line. Just another reason to add Costco

0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:17.240
<v Speaker 1>as a safe space. And then it says, my true

0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:20.600
<v Speaker 1>crime loving mom sadly passed away. Oh, Gina is gone. Gina,

0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:24.680
<v Speaker 1>she sadly passed away in twenty eighteen from a rare

0:17:24.720 --> 0:17:28.800
<v Speaker 1>autoimmune disease called sclarederma. She was a trusted adult for

0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:31.680
<v Speaker 1>all of our friends, the sweetest lady who everyone loved,

0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:35.439
<v Speaker 1>and she had the best timed that's what she said.

0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:39.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh a, mom, that's what she said. Are you kidding me?

0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:41.040
<v Speaker 2>That's the only person who can do it and not

0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:42.359
<v Speaker 2>with her cigarette?

0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:43.040
<v Speaker 1>Set me up?

0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:48.880
<v Speaker 2>Hey that calm down, you're going too deep. That's what she.

0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:54.320
<v Speaker 1>Said, Gina, Sorry, I wasn't ready to do it again.

0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:59.120
<v Speaker 1>Got you just do it, that's what she said, because

0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:01.040
<v Speaker 1>I think she'd be a little smart. Uh yeah, and

0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:04.359
<v Speaker 1>that's what she said. That's what she said. Okay, she

0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.760
<v Speaker 1>was my best friend. I miss her constantly. Stay sexy

0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:11.560
<v Speaker 1>and find a costco worker if you can't find a goth. Sammy,

0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:14.040
<v Speaker 1>so good, Sammy, amazing job.

0:18:14.200 --> 0:18:20.359
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Okay, here's my last one. Okay, July fourth fishing pole.

0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:22.720
<v Speaker 1>It's called Is it about to be the fourth fund?

0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:24.160
<v Speaker 2>When this comes out, it's about to be the fourth

0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:30.199
<v Speaker 2>fucking cry No Hi MFM team. My parents, Mark and

0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:34.920
<v Speaker 2>Joy Christians live out in the country on a big

0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:37.720
<v Speaker 2>plot of land with a beautiful pond. The pond is

0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:40.560
<v Speaker 2>often a hive of activity with family friends and neighbors

0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:44.239
<v Speaker 2>frequently dropping by to swim and fish. One evening, their

0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:46.840
<v Speaker 2>neighbor Brian, was fishing at the pond with his grandson.

0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:50.479
<v Speaker 2>Brian was using his late grandfather's pole, which obviously had

0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:53.800
<v Speaker 2>a great deal of sentimental value. Brian briefly set down

0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:56.000
<v Speaker 2>his own pole to help his grandson, and it was

0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:59.520
<v Speaker 2>at that moment that a huge catfish grabbed Brian's hook,

0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:02.600
<v Speaker 2>dragging the pole off the dock and into the water,

0:19:02.640 --> 0:19:06.560
<v Speaker 2>where it quickly disappeared into the murky depths. The pole

0:19:06.680 --> 0:19:09.520
<v Speaker 2>was gone. Several people took turns diving to the bottom

0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:11.320
<v Speaker 2>of the pond to try to locate it, but to

0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:15.000
<v Speaker 2>no avail. Brian was devastated. Two years past, but the

0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:19.560
<v Speaker 2>pole is never found despite regular attempts. It's crazy to

0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:22.199
<v Speaker 2>have a pole mean something to you. I get it.

0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:25.240
<v Speaker 1>It's also just it's painting such a vivid picture of

0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:29.000
<v Speaker 1>like people down at the pond, crashing and stuff. It's

0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:32.879
<v Speaker 1>like it's an email from Mayberry. I love it. I

0:19:32.920 --> 0:19:36.199
<v Speaker 1>want to hear all about did this catfish drag a

0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:38.160
<v Speaker 1>pole around? For twenty five years?

0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:39.880
<v Speaker 2>Twenty five years, twenty five years.

0:19:39.920 --> 0:19:40.960
<v Speaker 1>I've been dragging this pool.

0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:47.840
<v Speaker 2>It gets better. My catfish just smoking. Last year, my

0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:50.919
<v Speaker 2>parents hosted a huge Independence Day party. More than two

0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:54.800
<v Speaker 2>hundred people gathered at their home for a weekend of camping, grilling, games,

0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:55.560
<v Speaker 2>and fireworks.

0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:59.320
<v Speaker 1>That sounds amazing, it's because they have pond money. They're Christians.

0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:03.320
<v Speaker 2>Ryan took this opportunity to offer one hundred dollars reward

0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:05.200
<v Speaker 2>to anyone who could find his pole.

0:20:05.640 --> 0:20:06.160
<v Speaker 1>Oh.

0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:09.600
<v Speaker 2>This resulted in dozens of people spending hours searching over

0:20:09.640 --> 0:20:10.760
<v Speaker 2>the course of the weekend.

0:20:11.000 --> 0:20:13.280
<v Speaker 1>Can I say, I bet it was dozens of high

0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:15.760
<v Speaker 1>school boys. Yeah, who's going to fucking get into a

0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:17.560
<v Speaker 1>pond and be like diving down?

0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:20.879
<v Speaker 2>Well, my dad even fashioned a dredging tool out of

0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:23.920
<v Speaker 2>a metal rake. He tied the rake to a rope

0:20:23.920 --> 0:20:25.920
<v Speaker 2>so you could throw the rake out into the pond

0:20:26.000 --> 0:20:28.959
<v Speaker 2>and pull it back in by the rope, dragging the

0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:31.800
<v Speaker 2>prongs along the bottom and hopes they would snag the pole.

0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:32.359
<v Speaker 1>Smart.

0:20:32.520 --> 0:20:35.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, still no luck. The pole was well and truly gone.

0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:37.919
<v Speaker 2>The weekend after the party, my husband Jared and I

0:20:37.960 --> 0:20:40.359
<v Speaker 2>were visiting my parents. We'd missed the party because we

0:20:40.440 --> 0:20:42.840
<v Speaker 2>had COVID. We were standing on the pool's dock when

0:20:42.840 --> 0:20:45.199
<v Speaker 2>my dad explained this whole saga and showed off his

0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:49.800
<v Speaker 2>rake slash rope combo. Jared took the rake and half

0:20:49.840 --> 0:20:52.720
<v Speaker 2>heartedly tossed it into the pond. My dad turned and

0:20:52.760 --> 0:20:55.920
<v Speaker 2>started walking back to the house when he heard Jared say, uh,

0:20:55.960 --> 0:20:59.560
<v Speaker 2>is this it? That's right? With just one attempt, my

0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:03.119
<v Speaker 2>husband had found the long lost pole. Incredibly, one of

0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:05.600
<v Speaker 2>the prongs of the rake had snagged in one of

0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:08.359
<v Speaker 2>the tiny islets that run along the pole to hold

0:21:08.400 --> 0:21:11.879
<v Speaker 2>the line in place. Jared returned the poll to Brian,

0:21:11.960 --> 0:21:15.480
<v Speaker 2>who was speechless emotional and happily handed over the one

0:21:15.560 --> 0:21:20.160
<v Speaker 2>hundred dollars reward. Stay sexy and try just one more time,

0:21:20.560 --> 0:21:22.600
<v Speaker 2>Try try one more time.

0:21:23.080 --> 0:21:27.680
<v Speaker 1>That's Jenny, Jenny, Jenny and Jared, Jenny and Jared solving

0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:28.840
<v Speaker 1>problems at the pond.

0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:31.520
<v Speaker 2>Christ does their lord, it's you.

0:21:31.480 --> 0:21:35.000
<v Speaker 1>Know what, it's the old grandfather grandfather whoever passed that

0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:36.200
<v Speaker 1>fisherman's pull down.

0:21:36.160 --> 0:21:37.760
<v Speaker 2>Or the catfish's grandfather or.

0:21:37.800 --> 0:21:41.680
<v Speaker 1>The cash's grandfather's in there. I've seen worse poles than that.

0:21:42.080 --> 0:21:46.880
<v Speaker 1>Send it back. Well, here's my last one. I won't

0:21:46.920 --> 0:21:50.520
<v Speaker 1>read to the subject line. Please don't stop it, It says,

0:21:50.520 --> 0:21:53.800
<v Speaker 1>hey'all on your most recent episode, you ask for stories

0:21:53.800 --> 0:21:57.159
<v Speaker 1>about winning contests. Well, this isn't my winning story, but

0:21:57.200 --> 0:21:59.320
<v Speaker 1>I feel like it's wild enough that it needs to

0:21:59.359 --> 0:22:02.280
<v Speaker 1>be shared. Back in the eighties and nineties, one of

0:22:02.280 --> 0:22:05.080
<v Speaker 1>the local radio stations in my hometown had a radio

0:22:05.160 --> 0:22:10.960
<v Speaker 1>contest giving away a free cemetery plot. Well, my father,

0:22:11.040 --> 0:22:12.960
<v Speaker 1>who never wins anything one.

0:22:12.960 --> 0:22:15.600
<v Speaker 2>I repeat, like bad luck, No.

0:22:16.520 --> 0:22:19.760
<v Speaker 1>I repeat, My father won a burial plot from a

0:22:19.840 --> 0:22:23.160
<v Speaker 1>radio station contest. He waited until my grandmother passed away

0:22:23.200 --> 0:22:25.240
<v Speaker 1>a few years ago when I was in my mid

0:22:25.240 --> 0:22:28.080
<v Speaker 1>thirties to tell me about this contest and showed me

0:22:28.200 --> 0:22:29.600
<v Speaker 1>the deed for his plot.

0:22:29.680 --> 0:22:30.719
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god.

0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:33.360
<v Speaker 1>I reached out to the cemetery and verified its validity,

0:22:33.359 --> 0:22:37.120
<v Speaker 1>and sure enough, it's holy shit. Through a radio station

0:22:37.280 --> 0:22:40.320
<v Speaker 1>tensive too, right about ten grand a minimum?

0:22:40.400 --> 0:22:40.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god?

0:22:41.080 --> 0:22:43.159
<v Speaker 1>All that shit is so fucking expensive?

0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:46.840
<v Speaker 2>And may they make money off of people's worst experiences?

0:22:47.040 --> 0:22:49.760
<v Speaker 1>Yes, exactly to be like, no, grandmother must go in

0:22:49.800 --> 0:22:53.000
<v Speaker 1>her blue suit right into this silk limed casket, right.

0:22:52.920 --> 0:22:54.560
<v Speaker 2>And what I mean, you're not going to have flowers?

0:22:54.560 --> 0:22:56.159
<v Speaker 2>There has to be crazy.

0:22:56.200 --> 0:22:58.200
<v Speaker 1>I'll never forget my mom's like, oh no, I need

0:22:58.240 --> 0:23:01.200
<v Speaker 1>to get what's the other one? Remate it. Yeah, He's like,

0:23:01.280 --> 0:23:04.040
<v Speaker 1>uh uh, creamy and me immediately don't don't where I

0:23:04.080 --> 0:23:08.280
<v Speaker 1>was like, oh, okay, so my father will be buried

0:23:08.280 --> 0:23:09.680
<v Speaker 1>in a plot that he won off the radio.

0:23:09.800 --> 0:23:10.120
<v Speaker 2>Love it.

0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:12.240
<v Speaker 1>I hope this shocks you just like it did me.

0:23:12.800 --> 0:23:16.520
<v Speaker 1>And as a reminder to all make your final wishes known. Yes,

0:23:16.560 --> 0:23:18.920
<v Speaker 1>it's weird and hard, but it's harder on your loved

0:23:18.960 --> 0:23:21.359
<v Speaker 1>ones when they don't know if they're doing what you'd

0:23:21.359 --> 0:23:24.840
<v Speaker 1>really want. And that is an email from Crystal.

0:23:25.240 --> 0:23:25.760
<v Speaker 2>Crystal.

0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:29.760
<v Speaker 1>Crystal fucking wrote in They've been waiting for Crystal to

0:23:29.800 --> 0:23:32.880
<v Speaker 1>write in hah fucking who's the last part? Oh?

0:23:33.200 --> 0:23:34.440
<v Speaker 2>My best friends? Is his name? Crystal?

0:23:34.520 --> 0:23:37.840
<v Speaker 1>I was about to say, last time you met a Crystal?

0:23:38.080 --> 0:23:41.120
<v Speaker 1>And fucking Georgia's closest friend is named Crystal.

0:23:41.400 --> 0:23:44.360
<v Speaker 2>Crystal thinks that her mom wanted them to be strippers

0:23:44.440 --> 0:23:49.320
<v Speaker 2>or something, because her sister's name is also really unique.

0:23:49.320 --> 0:23:51.440
<v Speaker 2>What is it, Phedra.

0:23:52.400 --> 0:23:54.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's a very cool name.

0:23:55.160 --> 0:23:57.919
<v Speaker 2>It's so like the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

0:23:58.000 --> 0:23:58.480
<v Speaker 2>Yes it is.

0:23:58.680 --> 0:24:01.480
<v Speaker 1>What's funny to me is Crystal in my town or

0:24:01.520 --> 0:24:04.320
<v Speaker 1>a certain way and your Crystal is not that way.

0:24:04.400 --> 0:24:08.280
<v Speaker 1>So she's it's funny because she's very herself, so it

0:24:08.560 --> 0:24:11.520
<v Speaker 1>makes sense she makes it her name. Yeah, but it's

0:24:11.560 --> 0:24:11.960
<v Speaker 1>not like.

0:24:12.400 --> 0:24:13.320
<v Speaker 2>It's not like the Crystal.

0:24:13.560 --> 0:24:18.680
<v Speaker 1>It's not this right, just no, what if after all

0:24:18.720 --> 0:24:21.520
<v Speaker 1>of that, it's your Crystal at home? Like it's fucking me.

0:24:23.119 --> 0:24:24.680
<v Speaker 1>I've told you this story before.

0:24:24.960 --> 0:24:28.119
<v Speaker 2>Oh what did she did? That'd be cute? All right?

0:24:28.520 --> 0:24:31.880
<v Speaker 2>Sending your stories please about anything you want at any

0:24:31.920 --> 0:24:32.800
<v Speaker 2>time of your life.

0:24:32.960 --> 0:24:37.159
<v Speaker 1>Share in a human way, connections you have made in

0:24:37.200 --> 0:24:40.760
<v Speaker 1>the past. Yeah, whether it's at a pond with someone

0:24:40.840 --> 0:24:41.840
<v Speaker 1>named Crystal, or.

0:24:41.840 --> 0:24:44.480
<v Speaker 2>A catfish, a smoking catfish.

0:24:44.080 --> 0:24:48.159
<v Speaker 1>Or smoking cabbish. And until you do, stay sexy and

0:24:48.280 --> 0:24:49.280
<v Speaker 1>don't get murdered.

0:24:49.640 --> 0:24:59.560
<v Speaker 2>Goodbye, Elvis, Do you want a cookie?

0:25:00.200 --> 0:25:01.880
<v Speaker 1>This has been an exactly right production.

0:25:02.040 --> 0:25:04.720
<v Speaker 2>Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer

0:25:04.800 --> 0:25:05.520
<v Speaker 2>is Tessa Hughes.

0:25:05.600 --> 0:25:07.520
<v Speaker 1>Our editor is Aristotle Ascevedo.

0:25:07.680 --> 0:25:09.800
<v Speaker 2>This episode was mixed by Leona Squalacci.

0:25:09.920 --> 0:25:12.680
<v Speaker 1>Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.

0:25:12.720 --> 0:25:14.919
<v Speaker 2>Follow the show on Instagram at My Favorite Murder.

0:25:14.960 --> 0:25:18.240
<v Speaker 1>Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

0:25:18.359 --> 0:25:19.800
<v Speaker 1>or wherever you get your podcasts.

0:25:19.840 --> 0:25:22.040
<v Speaker 2>And now you can watch my favorite murder on Netflix.

0:25:22.200 --> 0:25:24.280
<v Speaker 1>And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and

0:25:24.400 --> 0:25:26.399
<v Speaker 1>the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can

0:25:26.480 --> 0:25:28.600
<v Speaker 1>support our show. Goodbye,