1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:02,240 Speaker 1: It's time for the letter. Buckle up, hold on tight. 2 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 1: We got it, but you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 1: Thank you Tommy. Subject dating the best friends X. Dear 4 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, I am writing to get your opinion on 5 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: friends dating their best friends X. I'm a forty three 6 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: year old woman who was really a good male friend 7 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: of thirty years. We have always been very close and 8 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 1: always took get good care of each other. We have 9 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: amazing chemistry and a very good bond, very strong bond, 10 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:33,600 Speaker 1: but we continue to say we are just friends. Friends. 11 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: Would hear us say love you and think there was 12 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: more between us than we were saying. One day two 13 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 1: years ago, the words I love you sounded and felt different. 14 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: We both knew what was happening, and we expressed our 15 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 1: love for each other and began to take our friendship 16 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: to another level. After much conversation about our future and 17 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: much love making, he realized he couldn't pursue a relationship 18 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 1: with me because I dated his best friend in high school. Well, 19 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: they are still best friends today and this best friend 20 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 1: has been married for seventeen years with three children. I 21 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: didn't understand the sudden change. We discussed this in the beginning, 22 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: and he said it wouldn't be an issue. Apparently the 23 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,639 Speaker 1: best friend still has feelings for me, and he tells 24 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: him this on a regular basis. He feels like he 25 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: would be betraying a childhood friend. I was heartbroken. I 26 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 1: told him we were just children when we dated, but 27 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: I still respect but I will respect his decision now. 28 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,399 Speaker 1: I don't see him often, but when I do, we 29 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 1: share some very passionate and intimate moment. Every morning he 30 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: sends me a good morning text, and every night he 31 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: sends me good night. I love you. It is very 32 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: clear that he loves me, but he has chosen his 33 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: friendship over our love. Should this even be an issue? 34 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: Should I still be considered the ex of his best 35 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: friend even though we dated twenty six years ago? Do 36 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 1: you think that he should talk to his best friend 37 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 1: about the situation? Sincerely between friends? Well, I don't think 38 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: he he that he loves you like you. Think he 39 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: loves you um or he wouldn't be ashamed to go 40 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: public with you. I just don't think he loves you 41 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 1: like you. You think he does best friend or not? Sure? 42 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 1: He may be feeling a little guilty about doing his 43 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 1: best friends girl or his ex girl. But there was 44 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,639 Speaker 1: not enough loyalty uh to his best friend for him 45 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,680 Speaker 1: not to sleep with you in the first place, now, 46 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: was there? I mean you got to think about that, 47 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: and you guys, like you say, are continuing to do it. 48 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: You have very passionate and intimate moments, that's what you said. 49 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 1: So I think this whole thing is up to you. 50 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: Even though this was twenty six years ago and all 51 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,800 Speaker 1: of that, you have a choice to make. That is 52 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 1: to face reality that this man likes you being his 53 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:56,519 Speaker 1: friend with benefits, and that's about as far as it goes. 54 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: He's not planning on taking it any farther. He's just 55 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 1: not he he's using his best friend as an excuse, 56 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: in my opinion, So I think you should get out now. 57 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,959 Speaker 1: I don't see this relationship going any anywhere else. It's 58 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: gone as far as it can go. He's sleeping with you, 59 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: and and that's what he wants. Steve Um, as I see, 60 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: I see, I see it a little differently here. I 61 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: have to tell you this, Um. First of all, you've 62 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: been She's forty three years old, she's been a good 63 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: male friend. Her and guy have been friends for thirty years. Um. 64 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: The guy has a friend that she used to date 65 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 1: uh twenty six years ago, which means she dated this 66 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: guy's best friend when she was seventeen. She forty three now. 67 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: Because the two guys are best friends. Here, we have 68 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: this dilemma, uh friends would hear us say we love 69 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: you and we think there's more between us than we 70 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: were saying. One day two years ago, the word I 71 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 1: love you sounded and felt different. We both knew what 72 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: was happening. We expressed I loved each other and begin 73 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: to take our friendship to another level. I didn't told 74 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: you all women a thousand times a man ain't being 75 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: your friend for no read. I keep telling you. I 76 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: don't know why you think that this guy just hanging 77 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,920 Speaker 1: on the outskirts telling you he loved you every day 78 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 1: because he didn't see a crack in the arm of 79 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:26,040 Speaker 1: where he could move In the moment the crack was shown, 80 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,160 Speaker 1: he stepped his foot right in there. You fell right 81 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,799 Speaker 1: into it too. Okay, so far, ain't nothing really wrong 82 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 1: with that. But then, after much conversation about our future 83 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: and much love making, he realized he couldn't pursue a 84 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 1: relationship with me because I dated his friend in high 85 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: school when you were seventeen. They are still best friends 86 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,840 Speaker 1: a day and the best friend has been married for 87 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: seventeen years with three children. I don't understand the sudden change. 88 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,919 Speaker 1: We discussed it in the beginning and he said it 89 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: wouldn't be an issue. Apparently the best friend still has 90 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: feeling for me and tells him this on a regular basis. Okay, 91 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: here's the part that's not true. This is the part 92 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: that's not true. You have not heard from your ex 93 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 1: to tell you he still has feeling from you. You're 94 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,359 Speaker 1: hearing that he has feelings from you from the guy 95 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 1: that don't want to be committed right now. But does 96 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: he love you? Absolutely? Does he love you the way 97 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 1: you think he does? Absolutely? But let me tell you 98 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 1: where it's all going wrong at right now. See when 99 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: guys don't want to commit, if they throw a little 100 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: sauce in the game, and then you can still you 101 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: still continue to put out for this man even after 102 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 1: y'all haven't had this discussion, and he didn't say that 103 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: he can't pursue a relationship, but he still gets to 104 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,800 Speaker 1: come by and tap on you every now and then. 105 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 1: This is something you're allowing. But let me tell you something. 106 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: This man would have a relationship with you if you 107 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 1: put a stop to the momentary tappings. See that's all 108 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: this is right here. This guy does love you. He 109 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: has always loved you from afar. Now he up close. 110 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,479 Speaker 1: He didn't got a little cold feet here, a little 111 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: nervous about it, you know, and he got little something 112 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 1: else going on. He don't want to knock it out 113 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,480 Speaker 1: to box yet, because you don't think he ain't been 114 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: sleeping with nobody for thirty years, d you. He's been 115 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,039 Speaker 1: sleeping with somebody and he don't wanna lose it now. 116 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: He didn't find a way to keep you at bay 117 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,600 Speaker 1: and still come by and get it too, for real. 118 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: I'll tell you the rest. All right parts here coming up. 119 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: Give us five minutes, we'll be right back. It's part 120 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 1: two of Steve's response to today's Strawberry letter, Dating the 121 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,840 Speaker 1: Best Friends X. You know, lady, you've gotten yourself in 122 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: a situation here that can actually still work out in 123 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: your favor. But you have to understand your power as 124 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 1: the woman here. See, first of all, you're dating this 125 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 1: guy who you've been friends with for thirty years. I 126 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: keep telling y'all, women ain't no man hanging around you 127 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 1: for thirty years to be your buddy. We is waiting 128 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: on the crack in the armor so we can make 129 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 1: a move. Okay, now there wasn't crack in the armor 130 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: for whatever, But I want you to understand something. For 131 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: the thirty years that y'all been friends, he'd been sleeping 132 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: with somebody. Okay, so now you all say I love you. 133 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,080 Speaker 1: One day, next thing you know, y'all in bed together. 134 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: Now guess what. He comes back to you and tells 135 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 1: you he can't really continue this because you used to 136 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: date his best friend. But check this out, because he 137 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: told you apparently the best friend still has feelings for you, 138 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 1: and and and he tells him this on a regular basis. 139 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: This isn't true. The friend don't matter. He just can't 140 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 1: find a way to break him from this other thing 141 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 1: he hidden. Why he hidding you? So now guess what. 142 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: Now you don't see him often, but when we do 143 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 1: we have some very passionate and intimate moments. Every morning 144 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 1: he sends me a good morning text, and every night 145 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 1: he says good night. That's what he's been doing for you. 146 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: He's found a way to get from you what he's 147 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: always wanted and don't have to do nothing but send 148 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 1: you some texts is in the morning to get it. 149 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: So he found out what it cost to had to 150 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 1: get you, and it cost some texas. So now that's 151 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:11,400 Speaker 1: all he doing. Is he steady texting you? Now? He 152 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: keeping you hooked with these texas? And let me tell 153 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 1: you something. This ain't got nothing to do with his 154 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 1: damn boy. Because if he cared about his boy so much, 155 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: if you're loyal to your boy, you loyal to your 156 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: boy behind his back, So it ain't his boy. Stop 157 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: the loyalty conversation, partner, because if you really know the deal, 158 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: if you loved your boy like that and it was 159 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: about your boy, you wouldn't do your boy behind his back. 160 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 1: He just don't want his boy to know that he 161 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,599 Speaker 1: doing his ex girl. Now he got feelings for you, 162 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: I promise you that's true, but he don't know how 163 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: to tell his boy. Hey man, I'm into your ex girl. 164 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: Now your ex dude been married seventeen years, got three kids. 165 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,439 Speaker 1: Didn't he think about your ass no more? When he 166 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 1: got time for this hill? No, we ain't got we 167 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 1: ain't gotta go. I get so sick. I can really 168 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: sat on his roll. Damn lot a go until all 169 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: of it all right, we gotta go this crazy letter. 170 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 1: Email us your Instagram. That's your thoughts on today's Strawberry 171 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,080 Speaker 1: Letter at My Girl Shirley