1 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: Good warning. 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 2: You're about to order the arena and join the battle 3 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 2: to save America with your host Sean Parnell. 4 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:25,080 Speaker 3: Hey, everyone, welcome to Battleground Podcast. Today, we have an 5 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 3: absolutely incredible guest. His name is Nick Freedis. He's an 6 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,639 Speaker 3: Army combat veteran. He's a Special Forces Green Beret. He's 7 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 3: an operator, as they're called, and we have that in common. 8 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 3: Nick and I both ran for Congress back in twenty twenty. 9 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 3: We met, we became friends, and since then, I mean, 10 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:47,240 Speaker 3: he's just built this incredible platform on YouTube. 11 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,519 Speaker 1: He's got an amazing. 12 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 3: Podcast, hundreds of thousands of subscribers, and he's really, frankly, 13 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 3: he's a conservative thought leader, and I'm so excited to 14 00:00:55,600 --> 00:01:05,680 Speaker 3: have him. Nick, Welcome to the podcast. I am so 15 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:06,760 Speaker 3: grateful for your time. 16 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 2: How you doing, Oh doing well, man, Thanks for having 17 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 2: me on. 18 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 1: You're welcome. 19 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,760 Speaker 3: We were we were just you know, in the lobby 20 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 3: or in the studio, solving some of the problems of 21 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 3: the world. And I was saying to Andrew, my producer 22 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:23,560 Speaker 3: before you logged on, that your podcast. First of all, 23 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 3: your studio looks fantastic, but I love the format in 24 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:32,680 Speaker 3: your shorts. I've blown away by you know, your ability 25 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,840 Speaker 3: to reach people through your shorts. I mean, you're like, 26 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 3: you're a serious YouTube influencer, which is a term I 27 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:42,040 Speaker 3: think is vastly overused and I generally speaking don't like it. 28 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,320 Speaker 3: But but I do think that what you're doing has 29 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 3: an impact, especially on the next generation who are going 30 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 3: those those kids are going to shape the future of 31 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 3: this country. 32 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 1: So I think it's really important. No, it's you know, 33 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: we we kind of made a decision a while back. 34 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:57,840 Speaker 2: I mean we we initially started doing kind of the 35 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 2: podcast and doing doing more so fun social media, and 36 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 2: a lot of it was related to like floor speeches 37 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 2: or campaign stops or things like that, and we kind 38 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 2: of made the conscious decision that we wanted to talk 39 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 2: about things on more of a cultural level. 40 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: We didn't we didn't want to. 41 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:18,239 Speaker 2: Make it all politics. So we have a lot of 42 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 2: political philosophy in there, but a lot of what we 43 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 2: talk about is just simple stuff, you know, being a 44 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 2: being a veteran, being a dad, you know, stuff like that, 45 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 2: and and some of us just kind of common sense, 46 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,679 Speaker 2: you know, poking fun at ourselves. You know, we we homeschool, 47 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 2: so we've talked about that. I've talked a little bit 48 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,240 Speaker 2: about homesteading. I want to call myself a home center, 49 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 2: mainly because I want to I want to give myself 50 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 2: that much credit right now. But we've certainly been doing 51 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 2: more and more with it, and I think what we 52 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 2: found is that one of the problems with people that 53 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 2: get involved in social media through politics is I think 54 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 2: it's all just an extension of their campaign, and nobody 55 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 2: wants to hear that crap, right, Like, that's Twitter, that's Facebook. 56 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 2: So if we so we we just started talking about 57 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,919 Speaker 2: kind of regular things from a perspective that you know, 58 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 2: it's things that you and I have talked about before, 59 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 2: and and it seems to be resonating and that's pretty encouraging. 60 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 3: Well, what's your secret? Because before before we went live here, 61 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 3: I was I don't think that I could generate those 62 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 3: little tidbits of wisdom on in these YouTube shorts that 63 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 3: you do, and and do it on a consistent basis, 64 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 3: you know, how how do you how do you shape 65 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,919 Speaker 3: what content you put out there and decide what to use? 66 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,960 Speaker 2: So some of it, I mean, honestly, I wish I 67 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 2: could say we had some sort of like grand long 68 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 2: term strategy where we've talked about so that usually it's 69 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 2: more like waking up in the morning getting my coffee 70 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 2: and either I was thinking about something the night before, 71 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 2: thinking about something that day, or I had some interaction 72 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 2: with you know, my family or or something. I will 73 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 2: tell you this. 74 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 1: The moment you think there's nothing. 75 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 2: To opine on or or talk about or consider, just 76 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 2: just turn on the news and there's always going to 77 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 2: be there's a never ending stream of stuff that either 78 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 2: needs to be mocked or explained. 79 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 1: So I mean we try to do we try to 80 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: do like. 81 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 2: Once a day, that's kind of our thing, like once 82 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 2: a day. But really, if you can if you can 83 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 2: make a good if you can make what is like, 84 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 2: you know, a meaningful or funny or something form of 85 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,839 Speaker 2: content and you can put it out on various platforms 86 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 2: and whatnot. But I think I think it like, for instance, 87 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,479 Speaker 2: I mean, you have some incredible experiences with respect to 88 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:31,360 Speaker 2: your military service, running for office, I mean, being an author. 89 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 2: I mean, there's so many things in there where not 90 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 2: to mention, like all the political stuff, right, like me 91 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 2: put that aside for just a second. There's so many 92 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 2: things that you might have you might have learned for 93 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 2: that or funny stories or things like that that people 94 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 2: would be interested in to you get just a little 95 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 2: bit of insight into something that maybe they've never experienced before. 96 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: Like I talked about the this is probably something you 97 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 1: can relate to as well. 98 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 2: I talked about the first job I had leaving the 99 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:59,840 Speaker 2: military and kind of like the transition into civilian life 100 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:02,559 Speaker 2: and like this funny little episode I got into where 101 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 2: you know I what I said was, I told the 102 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 2: guy like, Hey, I wouldn't mind doing that thing if 103 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 2: you really want me to, but I think there might 104 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 2: be a. 105 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: Better way to execute it. I said. 106 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 2: What I actually said was, that's the dumbest thing I've 107 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,600 Speaker 2: ever heard of in my life. And the only way 108 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 2: I'm doing it is if you put it in an email, 109 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 2: because I don't want anyone blaming me for. 110 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,279 Speaker 1: This stupid crap. 111 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 2: You know, you put that out right, and there's going 112 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 2: to be a ton of people that are veterans that 113 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,720 Speaker 2: completely relate to it, or there's gonna be other people 114 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 2: that just think it's funny. And so that's why I 115 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 2: tell people. It's like people got a lot more to 116 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 2: offer than they than they think they do. It just 117 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 2: sometimes takes a little bit of while of thinking about it, like, Okay, 118 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 2: how can I say this in a way that's going 119 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 2: to grab someone's attention, maybe be funny, but at the 120 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 2: end they're going to get something from it. 121 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 1: One of the. 122 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 2: Biggest, one of the biggest things you need to do, 123 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 2: like with any transaction. And you've run businesses, you know this, 124 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,160 Speaker 2: what is the value proposition? You know someone, you're asking 125 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 2: for someone to give you their attention for even if 126 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 2: it's just for fifty seconds, you know, what do they 127 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 2: get out of it? And and so thinking about things 128 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,039 Speaker 2: in such a way to where you could package those 129 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 2: experiences in a way that's meaningful or funny or provide 130 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 2: some sort of insight. And again, a lot of what 131 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 2: we do is not telling people you should do this. 132 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:20,840 Speaker 2: It's more like, hey, this is my experience, this is 133 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 2: this is what this happened to me, this is how 134 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 2: I reacted, this is what I learned from it. And 135 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 2: I don't know, people seem to like it. 136 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 1: You know. 137 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 3: You know how I first stumbled across these videos because again, 138 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 3: like you and I met I met you on the 139 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 3: campaign trail, your Special Forces guy, like Army guy. That's 140 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 3: that's how I knew you. And I stumbled on one 141 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 3: of your shorts on YouTube. And by the way, I 142 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 3: don't know why the hello is on there. I never 143 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 3: really got into you, like I had a staff that 144 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 3: managed all that, like and now that, now that I'm 145 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 3: doing the podcast and stuff, I'm more involved in that 146 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 3: side of things. But but I stumbled on a video 147 00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:55,720 Speaker 3: you talk about, you know, what's the value proposition? And 148 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 3: so much of what my life has become is muddling 149 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 3: through try to trying to be a father to five kids, 150 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 3: and it's it's not you know, we're a blended family. 151 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 3: You know, I've got kids, you know, a sixteen year 152 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 3: old stepdaughter, she's my daughter, I mean sixteen, fourteen year 153 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 3: old son, two twelve year old daughters and a ten 154 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 3: year old son. But you had some video out there 155 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 3: about daughters and dating and stuff like that, and in. 156 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: That that's you talk about a value proposition. Man. 157 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 3: That spoke to me because my daughter, now, I mean, 158 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 3: she's dating and I don't. I mean, I I have 159 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 3: to tell you, Nick, I struggle with it, and I 160 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 3: and I often reflect on it and I think about 161 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 3: why I do and I can't quite put my finger 162 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 3: on it. But your videos help me say at least 163 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 3: at least at a at a bare minimum. Hey, I 164 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 3: ain't the only one going through this. You know, there's 165 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 3: no there's no field manual for how to raise kids, 166 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 3: you know. 167 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: No. 168 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, we we had we had a video on h 169 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 2: I think the one that really went viral for us 170 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 2: on our short was three things I Learned raising daughters. Yeah, 171 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 2: And it was just talking about you know. It started 172 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,640 Speaker 2: off because when when I had a little girl, I 173 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 2: asked my wife, you know, okay, how do I be 174 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 2: a good dad? And then I asked the biggest man 175 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 2: whore I met in the military, like, how do I 176 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 2: protect her from you? 177 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 1: Dude? Like this is I mean, straight. 178 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 2: Up buddy to buddy, operator operator, What the heck do 179 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 2: you say? 180 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: Uh? So I can prepare to like say no to 181 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: you and. 182 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 2: Uh and and you know, he looked at me, and 183 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 2: it was it was weird because it was kind of 184 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 2: one of those things where I was quasi making a joke, 185 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 2: but I was also serious. And he got real quiet 186 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 2: and looked at me and goes, tell your daughter you 187 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,600 Speaker 2: love her, because if you don't, you know, basically, someone 188 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 2: like me will and they'll believe him. And that hit me, man, 189 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 2: Like that that hit me and I and I remember thinking, 190 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,560 Speaker 2: you know, obviously it's not enough to just say that 191 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 2: I love my daughter. It's it's important that I, you know, 192 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 2: imonstrate that with spending time with her and protecting her 193 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 2: and everything else. 194 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: But I better verbalize it as well. 195 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 2: And because a lot of times stuff like that will happen, 196 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 2: I'll go and I'll talk to my wife. I'm like, 197 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 2: you know, explain to me what this is like from 198 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:19,199 Speaker 2: your perspective as a woman. And she's like, you know, look, 199 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 2: I love all the things that you do to provide 200 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 2: and help and protect our family and the whole deal, 201 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 2: and I appreciate all of it. But yeah, like that's great. 202 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 2: But if you don't say, if you don't verbalize I 203 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:32,680 Speaker 2: love you to your daughter, you can't expect them to 204 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 2: automatically believe that. Of course he's working this hard because 205 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 2: he loves me. Of course he does these things because 206 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 2: he loves she. 207 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: Else needs to hear it. 208 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,199 Speaker 2: And that was I found that to be an incredibly 209 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 2: useful piece of advice because my oldest daughter's twenty, she 210 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 2: just got engaged. 211 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 1: My youngest daughter is fifteen, and. 212 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 2: So I'm right there with you on kind of those 213 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 2: It feels like it feels like a minefield for father 214 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 2: especially if it does. 215 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:06,440 Speaker 3: It does I mean, you know, I is it hard 216 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:10,319 Speaker 3: for you. I mean, I'm surely it doesn't sound like 217 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,719 Speaker 3: and I'm not trying to speak for you, but it 218 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 3: doesn't sound like it came natural to you to say, Hey, listen, kiddo, 219 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 3: I love you, you know, just want and I'm doing 220 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 3: this because here's here's the reason why I might be 221 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 3: a little crazier. It seems like I'm a little crazy 222 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 3: in this regard with with dating. But this is what 223 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 3: I'm thinking, this is where I'm coming from, And ultimately, 224 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 3: I love you, kiddo, and I want to protect you, 225 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 3: and that's that's my job. And when you're out there dating, 226 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,600 Speaker 3: you almost as as a father, you know, you take 227 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 3: that and you outsource that protection. Still my responsibility, it's 228 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 3: still my job. But if they're out there together, it's 229 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 3: like at some point she's gonna have to protect herself 230 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 3: and you know he he obviously cares for her. So 231 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 3: it's it's very, very complicate. It's a tough journey for fathers. 232 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 3: So how did Obviously it sounds like talking to your 233 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 3: to your wife is so important and it's it's so 234 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,679 Speaker 3: important for me too. But how did how do you 235 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 3: how did you have that epiphany? Because you and I 236 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,080 Speaker 3: are both knuckle draggers man like, I'm an infantry guy, 237 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 3: and they like, we don't always have We don't always 238 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 3: have they we're not always the best and expression our 239 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 3: emotions like. 240 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:18,560 Speaker 1: Typically sad, sad, and it's just sad. 241 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,680 Speaker 3: As angry you know for me, Like so it's like 242 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 3: it's difficult angry, Yeah, frustrated. 243 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 2: Confused, sad, depressed, that's all anger and then yeah I'm happy. 244 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I think. 245 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 2: Uh, I mean, look, I'll give my my parents got 246 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 2: divorced when I was three, but I still had a 247 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,400 Speaker 2: great relationship with both my folks. Now I had to go, 248 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,439 Speaker 2: I had to go down, and I spent the summers 249 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 2: with my dad in the school years with my mom, 250 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 2: and then you know, holidays and stuff like that. But 251 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 2: both of them, I think we're both of them were 252 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,720 Speaker 2: good about, you know, spending time when they could. They're 253 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 2: both incredibly busy, right, they're working hard. My dad was 254 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 2: a homicide detective, my mom was a nurse. They were 255 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 2: also good I think in verbalizing saying I love you, 256 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 2: like not all the time, but they did it, So I. 257 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 1: Think part of it was. 258 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 2: Part of it was was my faith right and just 259 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:13,200 Speaker 2: understanding that, you know, there's certain responsibilities that I have 260 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 2: as a father that are biblical and are just there 261 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 2: and that I'm responsible for. And then part of it 262 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 2: too was having those conversations with my wife and you know, 263 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 2: talking about what she experienced growing up, what she would 264 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 2: have liked to have experienced more of. I think one 265 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,199 Speaker 2: of the biggest things that struck me when my oldest 266 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,280 Speaker 2: daughter was like eleven or twelve, it was the first 267 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 2: time a boy kind of liked her, and we had 268 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,479 Speaker 2: set up kind of I mean, we're probably pretty draconian 269 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,199 Speaker 2: compared to most parents, Like we told our kids like, look, 270 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 2: dating is about getting married, and if you're not ready 271 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 2: to get married, you're not ready to date, and so 272 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 2: you need to hold that off. But I remember the 273 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 2: first time my oldest daughter was eleven years old, she 274 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 2: had a boy at school that liked her. And this 275 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 2: is we actually ended up homeschooling, but not to avoid 276 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 2: the boy. But Andy, yeah, and I remember she she 277 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 2: told her mother first and and her and her mom 278 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 2: was like, you need to go, you need to go 279 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 2: talk to your dad. And so she came over and 280 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,559 Speaker 2: she kind of told me the whole deal, and I 281 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 2: remember saying, I'm like, I said, sweetheart, I want to 282 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 2: explain something to you. I said, it is perfectly natural 283 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,199 Speaker 2: for you to be feeling like butterflies right now, for 284 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 2: you to be feeling, you know, kind of happy and 285 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 2: excited and like all of those emotions because this boy 286 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,640 Speaker 2: has expressed that, you know, he prefers you over all 287 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 2: the other girls and that. And I said, you know what, sweetheart, 288 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,320 Speaker 2: that shows great judgment on his behalf, right, That shows 289 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,439 Speaker 2: great judgment that that he picked you because you are 290 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 2: you are incredible. I said, But you know, sweetheart, I 291 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 2: want you to understand that the reason why we set 292 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,760 Speaker 2: up the boundaries that we do is because I want 293 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 2: you to have the marriage that your mommy and I have. 294 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 2: And one day, I totally believe God's going to bring 295 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,320 Speaker 2: that guy for you that you are just going to 296 00:13:58,360 --> 00:13:59,439 Speaker 2: be in love with. 297 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 1: I mean, he is just going to be a great guy. 298 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 2: He's going to be what you're looking for in life, 299 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,440 Speaker 2: and you were just going to want to spend the 300 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 2: rest of your life with him. And one of the 301 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,319 Speaker 2: reasons why we protect you so much is because when 302 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:12,839 Speaker 2: you when you find yourself in that moment, I don't 303 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 2: want you to have to explain a whole lot of 304 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 2: stuff that came before you met him, right. I want 305 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 2: you to think, how much how much will I have 306 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 2: to explain to this person about what I did, who 307 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 2: I did it with, and everything before I get to 308 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 2: that person. And it's not because you can't. I mean, look, 309 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 2: stuff happens, right, Stuff happens, and people have great marriages 310 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 2: to get through all that. But what I found was 311 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 2: is that the mindset I was trying to work with 312 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 2: my girls very very early on, was daddy does not 313 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,920 Speaker 2: believe Daddy's I'm not someone that like wants to scare 314 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 2: off all your boyfriends and never want you to get married. 315 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 2: And you're my little girl, and that's it. No, I 316 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 2: want you to I want you to get married. I 317 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 2: want you to have kids. I want to be a grandpa, 318 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,600 Speaker 2: I want to do all those things. I want you 319 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 2: to have an incredible marriage. I want you to have 320 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 2: with me and your mother had like, I want you 321 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,560 Speaker 2: to have all of those things, and I want you 322 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 2: to trust that I do want that for you. And 323 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 2: so as time goes on, if I ever say sweetheart, 324 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 2: I don't think he's the one. I want you to 325 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 2: trust that. My only motivation is because there is one 326 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 2: and this guy ain't it. And what I what I 327 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 2: found was is that when my you know, when my 328 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 2: oldest daughter got older and she now she is old 329 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 2: enough to date, and she has a boyfriend, and he 330 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,440 Speaker 2: was very respectful, he was a good guy. She maintained 331 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,240 Speaker 2: very very strict boundaries with him, and she kind of 332 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 2: came to the conclusion one day that she was I 333 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 2: just don't know if this is going to work out. 334 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 2: And I was the one she was talking to about it. 335 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 2: I was the one that she was, well, Daddy, what 336 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 2: about this? What do you think about this? Well, you know, hey, 337 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 2: what about this? 338 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 1: Or for the future. 339 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 2: You know, I think our goals and you know, what 340 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 2: we believe might not line up as much as I 341 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:53,080 Speaker 2: would like. And and and I remember just sitting there 342 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 2: talking her out with her and Okay, yeah, I think 343 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,280 Speaker 2: this is good. I think you've used good reasoning here, 344 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 2: and and they ended up breaking up, remained friends. But 345 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 2: I think the work for that, if at all possible, 346 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,320 Speaker 2: the work for that starts younger. It starts with establishing 347 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 2: that trust to where they know their daddy loves them absolutely, 348 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 2: one hundred percent know their daddy loves them. They also 349 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 2: know that Daddy will tell them the truth. He'll do 350 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 2: it in love, but he'll tell them the truth because, 351 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 2: let's face it, you look at everything kids are going 352 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 2: through right now in the mountain of crap. They are 353 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 2: being fed about the world, and not just politically, but ideologically, 354 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 2: identity wise everything. They're being fed so much disinformation about 355 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 2: the world right now and their role in it and 356 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 2: who they are. They need to know that there is 357 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 2: somebody that they can go to that is going to 358 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 2: give them the truth, even the hard truth at time, 359 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,680 Speaker 2: but they don't mind receiving it because they know it's 360 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 2: from somebody that is entirely on their side, like their 361 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 2: biggest fan. And then the other thing is is they 362 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 2: got to be They got to know that when they 363 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 2: need to tell you something, you're not going to flip out. 364 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 2: M hm, You're not going to flip out. And and 365 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,679 Speaker 2: I think that I I tried to. I tried to 366 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,360 Speaker 2: do that for my girls, and there was times where 367 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 2: I think I nailed it, and there was times where 368 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 2: I totally failed. But I know that, I mean, one 369 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,320 Speaker 2: of the one of the greatest, one of the greatest 370 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:24,399 Speaker 2: experiences for me in my life thus far, was when 371 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 2: my daughter's fiancee, who I really like, great dude, great dude, 372 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 2: sort of guy you prayed will come along to you know. 373 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 2: And he came in, and he came and asked my permission. 374 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 2: But that's the thing they're not supposed to do anymore. Right, 375 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,439 Speaker 2: you're supposed to right, you can ask for a blessing. 376 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,200 Speaker 2: Not No, he came in, he asked for my permission. 377 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 1: And he did right, looks like, That's what looks like. 378 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 2: But here's the important part. He didn't just do that 379 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,679 Speaker 2: because he knew it was the right thing to do. 380 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,919 Speaker 2: He did it because my daughter would have asked him 381 00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 2: if he had once he asked her to marry him. 382 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,600 Speaker 2: And and that's the sort of relationship I want to 383 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,600 Speaker 2: have with my girls. I want them to know that, Look, 384 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,640 Speaker 2: no matter what happens, I'm going to tell you the truth, 385 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,560 Speaker 2: and I'm I'm gonna give you advice based off of 386 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 2: what I think is best for you. But man, I 387 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,399 Speaker 2: am on your side like you cannot even you cannot 388 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 2: even imagine my life for yours, sweetheart, My life for yours. 389 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,200 Speaker 3: It sounds like so much of it. I mean, obviously, 390 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 3: you know you said sometimes you got it right, sometimes 391 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:29,560 Speaker 3: you didn't, And I feel like that often do you 392 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 3: think that it's I mean, I tend to think this, 393 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,520 Speaker 3: but is it just about showing them that you love 394 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 3: them and that you're trying and that trust that's established 395 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:43,919 Speaker 3: there builds the sort of relationship where they feel like 396 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 3: they can come to you and talk to you about these, 397 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:50,119 Speaker 3: you know, what, what are personal issues? Because I agree 398 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 3: with you, Nick, I think that's so important. You know, 399 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 3: kids come home from school, they had a rough day. 400 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 3: You ask them what's wrong. Sometimes they tell you, sometimes 401 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:03,639 Speaker 3: they shut down. You know, I'm good nothing happened in 402 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 3: those moments because I'm sure that you've had them. Are 403 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 3: you persistent or do you give them some time to 404 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 3: breathe or do you check in you know, after they've 405 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,400 Speaker 3: had time to breathe, do you check in with them later? 406 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 3: What's your roles of engagement on that? 407 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,119 Speaker 1: I think it. 408 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,200 Speaker 2: I think it kind of depends. So obviously, you you'll 409 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,920 Speaker 2: have times when your kids are are there and they're 410 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 2: they're angry and they're mad about something. You can tell 411 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 2: the times where they're just sad, you can tell the 412 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 2: times where they're they're. 413 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:30,600 Speaker 1: They're hurt. 414 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 2: And what I try to do is make sure that 415 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,480 Speaker 2: I'm aware enough of what's going on, because you know 416 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,199 Speaker 2: the deal, you can get so focused on something that 417 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 2: your situational awareness goes goes out. 418 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:40,920 Speaker 1: The complete day. 419 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,760 Speaker 2: But I try to be situational awhere. Sometimes my wife 420 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,239 Speaker 2: has got to be like, hey, you need to go. 421 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 2: This is another thing that's so important about that relationship, 422 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 2: right is when when you're when you have a wife 423 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,120 Speaker 2: that will tell you, hey, babe, they need to talk 424 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 2: to you about this. 425 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,160 Speaker 1: So they really need to. They'll give you a heads 426 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 1: up sometimes. 427 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 2: But I but I think being aware of it and engage, 428 00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:05,439 Speaker 2: like actively engaging hair are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. No, No, 429 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:09,399 Speaker 2: seriously like are you okay? And so I think a 430 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 2: little bit of persistence now if they if they really 431 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 2: don't want to talk right now, they just got to 432 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:14,760 Speaker 2: figure it out or whatnot. I think it's I think 433 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:18,000 Speaker 2: it's fine to say okay, but if you need to, 434 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,160 Speaker 2: I'm right here. 435 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,359 Speaker 1: I'm here for you. Again. 436 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,880 Speaker 2: I can't emphasize enough how much I think a lot 437 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,400 Speaker 2: of this starts early on, because when when your kids 438 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 2: are little, they automatically come to you right, like it's 439 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 2: like a regular thing. You are their source to the 440 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,640 Speaker 2: outside world. 441 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 1: And so I think when you. 442 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 2: Establish that pattern early on where they know they can 443 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,159 Speaker 2: come and talk to you and that you're going to 444 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,320 Speaker 2: hear them, that you're really going to sit there and 445 00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 2: listen and not just immediately start to give advice. That's 446 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 2: the other big lesson I've learned is you know I don't, 447 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,880 Speaker 2: but before I can give advice, I got to understand again. 448 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 2: I'll go back to the military, right, Understand your operational environment. 449 00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:02,240 Speaker 2: How many times did we have that ham into us oversea? 450 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 2: Know your operational environment. Know your operational environment. Same thing 451 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 2: with kids, all right, when when when your daughter is 452 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,480 Speaker 2: sitting there and she wants to talk about some especially 453 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,200 Speaker 2: your daughters, they don't necessarily want you to fix something 454 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,359 Speaker 2: right off the bat. They may want you to, but 455 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,919 Speaker 2: they first want to feel like you really understand the 456 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 2: problem the way they understand the problem. You understand it 457 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 2: from their perspective as much as possible. And then a 458 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,439 Speaker 2: lot of times it's helpful to ask questions instead of 459 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:25,920 Speaker 2: if we if. 460 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: We go in write with advice, Okay, do this, do this? 461 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 1: Do this, do this. 462 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 2: They don't feel like you've actually gone through the process 463 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,679 Speaker 2: with them of understanding the problem first, and so they 464 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 2: don't trust the advice as much. But when you when 465 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,880 Speaker 2: you've gone through and you've asked important questions what about this? 466 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:43,200 Speaker 1: Okay, well did he say this? What did you say 467 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 1: to that? Okay? What so? 468 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,440 Speaker 2: What were you thinking when that when when that took place? 469 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,640 Speaker 2: Then after a while they think like, Okay, we're engaged. 470 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,360 Speaker 2: We're in this together. We're we're like, we're investigating, right, 471 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 2: We're investigating this and we're going to get to the 472 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,359 Speaker 2: conclusion together. It's not my dad gonna tell me like, Okay, 473 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 2: you had to do this, you should have done this, 474 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 2: or why didn't you do this? Or you remember when 475 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,239 Speaker 2: I told you? It's none of that. So I think 476 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,200 Speaker 2: that does a big part of it. The other one too, 477 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 2: that I think is critical, and this is the part 478 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:14,120 Speaker 2: that you struck to with like, hey, we're trying when 479 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,400 Speaker 2: you set up certain rules and standards for conduct, behavior, 480 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 2: honesty and things like that and you fall short of it. 481 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,720 Speaker 2: So you've established what the rules are and you've pointed 482 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 2: to this as the standard, but now you've fallen short 483 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 2: of it. And they respectfully. If they're disrespectful, I'm sorry. 484 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:33,880 Speaker 2: I don't brook disrespect because the world doesn't brook disrespect. 485 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 1: And my kids didn't understand that. 486 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 2: But again, I'll remember a time when my oldest daughter 487 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 2: came to me and she thought I had handled something wrong. 488 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,679 Speaker 2: And it turns out she was dead on right. She 489 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,440 Speaker 2: was right and I was wrong. And I sat there 490 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:49,480 Speaker 2: and I said, sweetheart, first of all, I appreciate you 491 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:53,560 Speaker 2: bringing this to my attention. You are right, I'm wrong, 492 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 2: and I'm gonna go correct that. And it had to 493 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 2: do with something an interaction I had with her, her 494 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 2: younger brother and sister. I got mad at him because 495 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 2: they made a mess in the kitchen. Turns out they 496 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:03,440 Speaker 2: were making me something. 497 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 1: But she in that. 498 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 2: Moment, what it was is that I looked at that, 499 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 2: Thank God, because there's been other moments where I've been like, 500 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:16,199 Speaker 2: I'm in charge here, but that, in that moment, I 501 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,040 Speaker 2: looked at it as I've taught my daughter that there's 502 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:22,120 Speaker 2: a standard for right and wrong. I'm also the authority 503 00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:26,040 Speaker 2: figure in this house. So what just happened was my 504 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:30,840 Speaker 2: daughter realized that the authority figure had broken a rule, 505 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 2: had broken a standard, and now she had the courage 506 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:37,920 Speaker 2: to come to an authority figure and respectfully ask about 507 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:42,159 Speaker 2: it and inform me about it if I if I 508 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 2: just go after her right now, what I've taught her 509 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,119 Speaker 2: is the rules are arbitrary, the standards are arbitrary, and 510 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,119 Speaker 2: all that matters is my authority because I have the 511 00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:53,280 Speaker 2: ability to impose it. Why sure as hell don't want 512 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,920 Speaker 2: to raise kids that do whatever authority figures tell them to, 513 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,239 Speaker 2: regardless of what is right and wrong. Exactly so in 514 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:03,159 Speaker 2: this moment, if I say you're right, I'm wrong and 515 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,119 Speaker 2: I need to go correct this. I've told her that 516 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,159 Speaker 2: the rules are not arbitrary because they also apply to me. 517 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,920 Speaker 2: And I've also hopefully encouraged her to continue to display 518 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 2: courage in challenging authority respectfully. 519 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 1: When it needs to be challenged. 520 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,520 Speaker 2: And I think those two things right there, really listening, 521 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,000 Speaker 2: when when you're when all of your children, but specifically 522 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,960 Speaker 2: talking about daughters, really listening and being willing to go 523 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,639 Speaker 2: on kind of the journey to figure out what's bugging 524 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,520 Speaker 2: MM why. And the second part is them understanding that 525 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 2: you also believe that the same rules and standards that 526 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,320 Speaker 2: apply for them and for your son and the whole 527 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:38,359 Speaker 2: deal also apply for you with respect to you know, 528 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,400 Speaker 2: standards of morality and conduct. 529 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 3: How in the hell did two combat veterans infantry guys 530 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:55,640 Speaker 3: start talking about like, you know, the yeah, the philosophy 531 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 3: phrasing kids. I don't know how he got on this. 532 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,119 Speaker 3: And I intended to come here to talk about, you know, 533 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,959 Speaker 3: combat and stuff, but I'm so fascinated by all this stuff. 534 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: I mean, let me ask you a question. 535 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:10,560 Speaker 3: Then, how important is it to say I'm sorry to 536 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,720 Speaker 3: your children when you get it wrong? 537 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:15,639 Speaker 1: I think so. 538 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,679 Speaker 2: I think it's very important. I also think it's important 539 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:25,119 Speaker 2: to acknowledge being wrong, because it's one thing to be sorry, 540 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,119 Speaker 2: it's another thing to acknowledge that I was Yeah, I 541 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:28,840 Speaker 2: was wrong on that. 542 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:29,840 Speaker 1: I was wrong on that. 543 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,600 Speaker 2: Now again, I can't I can't stress this enough. It's 544 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,600 Speaker 2: still important, but that that there has to be a 545 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,199 Speaker 2: level of respect maintained. Like I see this stuff in 546 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:42,360 Speaker 2: like you know, TV shows or whatnot where kids are 547 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,880 Speaker 2: just yelling at their parents, and like I'll look over 548 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 2: and my kids and be like, what would happen if 549 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 2: you did that? 550 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,399 Speaker 1: Like, oh gosh, we destroyed, we destroyed. 551 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,520 Speaker 2: And there was there was an interesting study that was conducted. 552 00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:59,400 Speaker 2: I can't remember, I can't remember what where, what what 553 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 2: university did it, But they let they let kids out 554 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,160 Speaker 2: to play right from like a recess or something like that. 555 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 2: When there was no fence. The kids all huddled together 556 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 2: and they didn't stray too far right. They they kind 557 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,880 Speaker 2: of stayed closer together. When they went out to plant 558 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 2: an area where there was a fence, they expanded out 559 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:20,480 Speaker 2: and they explored more. And it goes to show that 560 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 2: the kids are actually looking for boundaries and they want 561 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 2: to know that they're good boundaries and they're not arbitrary. 562 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 2: They're there for a reason, and they're there for their 563 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,640 Speaker 2: protection because someone loves them and is caring for them. 564 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 2: And as the guardians of those boundaries, we are owed 565 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:38,160 Speaker 2: a level of respect. But if you want your kids 566 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,359 Speaker 2: to understand that the reason why the boundary exists is 567 00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:42,960 Speaker 2: not because I, as the dictator of the family, decided 568 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 2: that they exist, but they exist because they're true and 569 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,080 Speaker 2: they're good and they're noble. 570 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,880 Speaker 1: Well, then if there's a situation where you. 571 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,400 Speaker 2: Violate the boundaries and they respectfully call you on it, 572 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 2: I think it's imporant to be like you're right, I'm wrong, 573 00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,639 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I won't do that again, or or you 574 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:04,920 Speaker 2: know you were correct, because again, I don't want my kids. 575 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,640 Speaker 2: I don't want my kids to be like blind lemmings 576 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,479 Speaker 2: following whatever, because there's the problem. When your kids leave 577 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 2: their house, you're not the primary authority figure anymore. Exactly, 578 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,600 Speaker 2: it's the college professor, it's the boss, it's whoever else 579 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,879 Speaker 2: it is. And if they haven't left your house convinced 580 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,680 Speaker 2: that there's such a thing as right and wrong and 581 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,960 Speaker 2: these are the standards, then it's whatever the next authority 582 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,160 Speaker 2: figure tells them. And I guarantee that next authority figure 583 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:30,160 Speaker 2: isn't going to care about them. 584 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 1: As much as you do. 585 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:37,720 Speaker 3: God, Nick, I mean, so you've clearly thought a lot 586 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:43,520 Speaker 3: about being a father, and I suppose, and I don't suppose, 587 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,640 Speaker 3: I know goes hand in hand with being a good 588 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:51,480 Speaker 3: husband and working on your relationship, and I'm sure you've 589 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 3: given a fair amount of. 590 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 1: Thought to that. But where does this. 591 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,720 Speaker 3: Come from in you? I mean, because you told me 592 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,959 Speaker 3: early that you came from a divorced home. And you know, 593 00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:05,960 Speaker 3: I my parents stayed together, uh and I had my 594 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,960 Speaker 3: parents were amazing. I love them to this day. They 595 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:12,480 Speaker 3: stayed together. But obviously I went through a divorce. Wasn't 596 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,920 Speaker 3: in the cards for me, wasn't anything that I planned for. 597 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 3: People who are watch and subscribe to my show know 598 00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,679 Speaker 3: that I had the Oj Simpson trial of divorce trials, 599 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:27,439 Speaker 3: so like people people know, but it's somewhere along the way, 600 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:29,439 Speaker 3: did you make a choice? 601 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 1: I mean, Nick, were you? Did you make a choice? 602 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,679 Speaker 3: Like, I don't want this life for my kids, and 603 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 3: I'm going to focus on what it means to be 604 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 3: a good husband and a good father. 605 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,920 Speaker 2: I think so Again, my parents got divorce, remarried, and 606 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 2: my mom got married again, then got divorced again while 607 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:51,400 Speaker 2: I was at home, and then my dad got separated again. 608 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 2: And then excuse me, Tina's parents got divorced and remarried. 609 00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,680 Speaker 2: So both of us kind of came from this kind 610 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 2: of tumultuous environment where we still had we still had 611 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 2: like effective parents, right, but it certainly wasn't in the 612 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:06,440 Speaker 2: ideal situation. 613 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,840 Speaker 1: Did they get along? I mean, were they? Were they 614 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: cordial one another? Yeah? They were? 615 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 2: I Mean the greatest gift that my mom and dad 616 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 2: gave to me after they got divorced was not using 617 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,720 Speaker 2: me or my brother as ponds and battles between. 618 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,560 Speaker 1: Them my mom. 619 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,959 Speaker 2: My mom actively worked to make sure that we had 620 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 2: a good relationship with our father. Our father actively worked 621 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 2: to make sure that we loved and respected our mother, 622 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 2: and and that was that was crucial, right, that was crucial. 623 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,840 Speaker 2: The other so I think both of our experience, my 624 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,560 Speaker 2: wife's and I experience with both like like, we're not 625 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 2: doing this. The other thing too, is like our faith 626 00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:44,680 Speaker 2: is very, very important to us. This is not something 627 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,880 Speaker 2: that you know, we just you know, it's not cultural 628 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 2: Christianity in the sense that Okay, well yeah, hey we're 629 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,239 Speaker 2: predominantly Christian, so we are too. 630 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:53,880 Speaker 1: It's like, no, it meant something to us. 631 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,000 Speaker 2: And when we when we first sat down when we 632 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 2: were dating, because we got married, we got married at 633 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:04,080 Speaker 2: night teen and twenty. We sat down, I remember when 634 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 2: we were dating and and just started talking about what 635 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 2: our expectations were for marriage, like what were her expectations 636 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,200 Speaker 2: of me? What were my expectations of her? And so 637 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,760 Speaker 2: when we found ourselves you know, married, I mean there 638 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 2: was totally you know, ups and downs and fights and 639 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,720 Speaker 2: disagreements and the whole deal. But we we did have 640 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 2: a baseline on what our what our standards were, and 641 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,120 Speaker 2: we had a baseline of conduct for how we interacted 642 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 2: with each other, and there was there was certain rules 643 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 2: that that really helped us out with that. And then 644 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,560 Speaker 2: one of the things that really struck me was this 645 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 2: idea that my kids are first learning My kids first 646 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,840 Speaker 2: introduction to marriage is going to be my wife's and 647 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:48,840 Speaker 2: I are interaction. So my son is learning how to 648 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,600 Speaker 2: treat and interact with his wife, my daughter is learning 649 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:56,840 Speaker 2: what her expectations are for a healthy relationship. And and 650 00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 2: so that that caused me to start thinking about these 651 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:06,400 Speaker 2: these questions and whatnot and then just just recognize it. 652 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,320 Speaker 2: I mean, the role we play as men in society 653 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 2: right now is totally under attack. The role we play 654 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:12,640 Speaker 2: as man, the role we play as husbands, the role 655 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,200 Speaker 2: we play as fathers. And if there's anything if there's 656 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,400 Speaker 2: any message I would give to any young man out there, 657 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,320 Speaker 2: a man in general out there, is take what culture 658 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,760 Speaker 2: is throwing at you right now and just trashment. 659 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:28,040 Speaker 1: It absolute garbage. We are made. 660 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:33,920 Speaker 2: We are made designed to be strong, to be confident, 661 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:37,560 Speaker 2: to be competent, to be capable. We are designed to provide, 662 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,440 Speaker 2: We are designed to protect, and you are going to 663 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 2: find an enormous sense of meaning and purpose and fulfilling 664 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,040 Speaker 2: those roles. Regardless of what the latest trend out of 665 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 2: cal Berkeley is like. I couldn't care less what popular 666 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,240 Speaker 2: culture tells me about what my responsibilities are as a man. 667 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 2: I'd much rather go to scripture and to thousands of 668 00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,280 Speaker 2: years of human history that has demonstrated that when men 669 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,880 Speaker 2: step into our roles and we assume them, and we 670 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 2: operate in them with honor and integrity and nobility, and 671 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,680 Speaker 2: yet to a certain degree a certain element of tenderness 672 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 2: toward our wife and toward our children, that is the 673 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,720 Speaker 2: building block of everything else you want to solve most 674 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 2: of the problems going on in this country right now. 675 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,880 Speaker 2: It's not going to be an election cycle. It is 676 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,040 Speaker 2: going to be strong men once again reassuming and taking 677 00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,720 Speaker 2: pride in the position that they have as husbands and fathers. 678 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:35,280 Speaker 3: I totally agree and to your point about the role 679 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,959 Speaker 3: of what it means to be a man under assault 680 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,880 Speaker 3: in this country. I mean the data backs it up too, 681 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:44,080 Speaker 3: if you look at even the Census Bureau from twenty nineteen. Again, 682 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:48,160 Speaker 3: having gone through a contentious custody fight and a divorce myself, 683 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,680 Speaker 3: which by the way, my kids didn't ask for that 684 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,520 Speaker 3: they don't deserve to be in the middle of that 685 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:57,560 Speaker 3: hated that for them. It's something like eighty percent of 686 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:01,640 Speaker 3: divorces or custody fights end up with the mother getting 687 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,280 Speaker 3: primary custom eighty percent eighty percent. 688 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:05,880 Speaker 1: And that's that's empirical data. 689 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 3: You know, if you trust the data from this the 690 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:10,840 Speaker 3: US government in this day and age, I don't know. 691 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:15,600 Speaker 3: But but my point is, is it even even in 692 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,920 Speaker 3: the family court system, which has the mission of best 693 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,400 Speaker 3: interests of the child's first and foremost, I mean, clearly 694 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,880 Speaker 3: the best answer of the child or having a loving 695 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,320 Speaker 3: mother and father involved in their lives as much as 696 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,200 Speaker 3: humanly possible, But rarely is that ever the case. And 697 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,520 Speaker 3: of course you know, I'm speaking from a deeply personal 698 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:40,280 Speaker 3: experience at least with me and my family. But kids 699 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:44,520 Speaker 3: in homes without a permanent father presence across the board 700 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:49,280 Speaker 3: do consistently worse in almost every aspect of society. 701 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,200 Speaker 1: Without the structure of a father, they. 702 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:56,040 Speaker 3: Leave the home, they're more they're they're not as likely 703 00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:59,360 Speaker 3: to graduate from college, They're more likely to be depressed, 704 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,600 Speaker 3: They're more likely to smoke and drink heavily, they're more 705 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 3: likely to do drugs. The suicide rate for children without 706 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,839 Speaker 3: a permanent father presence or male presence there. And look, 707 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,360 Speaker 3: I'm not, I'm not. This is nothing against mothers. I 708 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,400 Speaker 3: guess what I'm building to is that so much of 709 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:21,440 Speaker 3: this anti narrative, this anti male narrative, has come from 710 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,799 Speaker 3: you know, this movement that that women don't need men. 711 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:30,080 Speaker 3: You know that that men are successful at the expense 712 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:34,200 Speaker 3: of women, and vice versa, and and and this, this, 713 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:37,680 Speaker 3: this discourse pits men against women in a way that 714 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 3: I just don't think is healthy. Because faith is very 715 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,319 Speaker 3: important to me too, and I happen to believe that 716 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,839 Speaker 3: we're creating in God's image to lift one another up. 717 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,759 Speaker 3: Like what I need from my wife, I need it's 718 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:51,040 Speaker 3: truly in need. I don't have it, and she brings 719 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,719 Speaker 3: that into our relationship and elevates me as a man. 720 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,120 Speaker 3: She makes me a better person, and I need it. 721 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,399 Speaker 3: And I'm I suppose I'm reminded of all this nick 722 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:03,120 Speaker 3: because it's somehow I came across a view segment where 723 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,759 Speaker 3: they were saying, like these ladies were saying how they 724 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 3: didn't need men, you know, like, and I just thought 725 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:13,120 Speaker 3: to myself, well, what a cavalier statement Number one, Because 726 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,200 Speaker 3: I do need my wife? Like I told you, she 727 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,800 Speaker 3: makes me a better person in every way, and I'd 728 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,480 Speaker 3: like to think that I make her a better person, 729 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:20,759 Speaker 3: you know. 730 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:27,440 Speaker 1: But how do you talk about this with your daughters? 731 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:31,239 Speaker 3: Because I've got you know, most of the time in 732 00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:33,240 Speaker 3: my house, I'm surrounded by women. Even all my pets 733 00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 3: are women for God's sake, So like want I want 734 00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,640 Speaker 3: my daughters. I mean, my wife is a freaking warrior. 735 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,360 Speaker 3: If she were alive during Viking times, she would be 736 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:46,720 Speaker 3: a shield maiden. I mean, she's strong and she's fierce, 737 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 3: and I want that. I want that for my daughters 738 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:53,520 Speaker 3: as well. But in this environment which you alluded to, 739 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 3: where it's almost as like women or men are getting 740 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 3: successful at the expense of women, which I don't believe 741 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,360 Speaker 3: eve is the case, how do you do that without 742 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:08,239 Speaker 3: How do you create a strong, fierce, independent woman at 743 00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:09,359 Speaker 3: the expense of men? 744 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,040 Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Yeah? I think that. 745 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:16,200 Speaker 2: I think it's about recognizing the proper again, the proper 746 00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:19,239 Speaker 2: roles that we all play within society. And it's a 747 00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:21,440 Speaker 2: lot easier for me when you have a biblical worldview 748 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,399 Speaker 2: because I'm not operating enough of my authority. This isn't hey, 749 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:26,560 Speaker 2: I conducted some research in a study, and now this 750 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,640 Speaker 2: is the ideal. It's like, no, we have we have 751 00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,440 Speaker 2: what I believe is a divinely inspired guide that's provided 752 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,880 Speaker 2: some good and oh, by the way, we do have 753 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,680 Speaker 2: thousands of years of human history that when it's properly applied, 754 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,200 Speaker 2: it seems to work really well for both parties. 755 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:43,760 Speaker 1: But yeah, because because to your point. 756 00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 2: I mean, here's the more controversial way to say this, right, 757 00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:49,400 Speaker 2: I don't understand the fourth wave feminist movement, which continually 758 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:52,400 Speaker 2: says that that women are you know, and empowered and 759 00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:56,680 Speaker 2: can do anything and you know, wonderful, but we can't 760 00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:58,520 Speaker 2: actually define them. And oh, by the way, they've been 761 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,520 Speaker 2: living under the heel of a patriot archy for all 762 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:01,520 Speaker 2: of human civilization. 763 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:03,879 Speaker 1: So let me get this straight. 764 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,759 Speaker 2: If you've been living under a patriarchy for all of 765 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,799 Speaker 2: human civilization, but now you're empowered at all, how did 766 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,440 Speaker 2: you manage to do that? If you still believe you're 767 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,560 Speaker 2: living in a patriarchy, It's because there was a lot 768 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,000 Speaker 2: of men that don't want you to fail, that don't 769 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,799 Speaker 2: want you to be in a bad position. It's not 770 00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:20,319 Speaker 2: because women are capable of achieving things on their own. 771 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:20,760 Speaker 1: Steam. 772 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:23,960 Speaker 2: It's because it turns out that when men and women 773 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,560 Speaker 2: live in a situation that is cooperative instead of competitive, 774 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:33,440 Speaker 2: we both do better. But this fantasy land where you 775 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,200 Speaker 2: know you have a very I think a smaller subset 776 00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:37,799 Speaker 2: of women that want to believe that, well, we don't 777 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,560 Speaker 2: need men for anything, Well, that's really convenient as you're 778 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,839 Speaker 2: sitting in a building that was probably made by men, 779 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,239 Speaker 2: with a police force that is predominantly composed of men, 780 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,080 Speaker 2: with the military protecting that's probably composed of men, with 781 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:50,560 Speaker 2: roads that were probably built by men, driving a car 782 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,400 Speaker 2: that was probably manufacturing and built by a guy. Is 783 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,200 Speaker 2: this all because women can't do a lot of these things? No, 784 00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,640 Speaker 2: and some women do, but the vast majority don't. They 785 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,800 Speaker 2: choose to do other things within society. Almost every teacher 786 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,040 Speaker 2: I had was a woman, right It Like almost every 787 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:06,440 Speaker 2: nurse I've ever had was a woman. 788 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,359 Speaker 1: And and so I look at there, it's like. 789 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,560 Speaker 2: It has only been, it has only been lately that 790 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,000 Speaker 2: we we've tried to completely upend everything. And here's what 791 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:20,319 Speaker 2: I find the most confusing about modern feminism is that 792 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,279 Speaker 2: if a woman fully empowered with every legal right that 793 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,400 Speaker 2: she currently has within the United States, which is more 794 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,880 Speaker 2: legal rights than anywhere else in the world. Chooses to 795 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:32,440 Speaker 2: be a wife and a mother, chooses to be someone 796 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:36,040 Speaker 2: that manages the home, maybe educates the kid, maybe homeschools 797 00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,640 Speaker 2: the kids and stuff like that, and man like truly 798 00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:41,680 Speaker 2: manages that that house, the maintenance, the upkeep, the whole deal. 799 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,640 Speaker 2: Like in our family, that means like we got you know, 800 00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:46,719 Speaker 2: gardens and animals and the whole deal. Like there's there's 801 00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:51,319 Speaker 2: a lot of work. Yeah, how were they treated by feminists? 802 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,360 Speaker 2: Are they treated by feminists as oh? Yeah, they're not 803 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,680 Speaker 2: treated like, oh wow, you know what, I'm so glad 804 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,759 Speaker 2: that you found a place that makes you happy, that 805 00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:00,920 Speaker 2: gives you fulfillment and purpose, and that you're doing it 806 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,160 Speaker 2: and you're doing an excellent job of it. That's never 807 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,279 Speaker 2: the stand know, the standard is, why aren't you doing 808 00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,839 Speaker 2: something that a man would have done thirty years ago? 809 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,520 Speaker 2: Why aren't you doing that? Why aren't you doing a 810 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:13,080 Speaker 2: man's How is it that fourth wave feminism has adopted 811 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:17,200 Speaker 2: this philosophy that a woman is only fully living up 812 00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:20,560 Speaker 2: to her potential if she's doing something that feminists perceive 813 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:24,799 Speaker 2: as in having been male dominated previously. But that's the 814 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:26,719 Speaker 2: only thing they give any grace to And I don't 815 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,040 Speaker 2: get that. I take that back. I do get that 816 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:33,280 Speaker 2: because I do believe that modern feminism is very hostile 817 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:37,440 Speaker 2: toward the traditional concept of marriage or the nuclear family. 818 00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,960 Speaker 2: And it makes sense because feminism as a political movement 819 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:50,120 Speaker 2: needs lonely, single, angry activist women. That's the foot soldiers 820 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:54,120 Speaker 2: of their political power, and so they don't have. It's 821 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,319 Speaker 2: not like they have a great incentive to create an 822 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,279 Speaker 2: environment where like, okay, women, you have all kinds of 823 00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:01,320 Speaker 2: opportunities now, and then they choose to be Hey, I 824 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 2: want to I want to raise my kids, and I 825 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:04,319 Speaker 2: want to do X, Y and Z. No, no, no, no, 826 00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:06,200 Speaker 2: we need you over here. We need you, We need 827 00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:09,759 Speaker 2: you angry, alone and mad at men, because that's how 828 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,040 Speaker 2: we organize political power. 829 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:12,480 Speaker 1: Right. 830 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:16,920 Speaker 2: So again, suffragette feminists totally get it right. We want 831 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:18,600 Speaker 2: equal protection for the law. We want to be able to 832 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,440 Speaker 2: please spend in the political process. We don't want opportunities 833 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:23,800 Speaker 2: to be arbitrarily denied to us because we're women, totally 834 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,560 Speaker 2: on board, totally get it modern feminism, that is not 835 00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:32,480 Speaker 2: the goal. In fact, modern modern feminists despise a homemaker, 836 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:37,759 Speaker 2: conservative woman far more than they do a man who 837 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,480 Speaker 2: then decides that they're going to present themselves as a. 838 00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,600 Speaker 1: Woman and then win swimming races. 839 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:50,680 Speaker 3: I know. So it's the if so many of their 840 00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:56,200 Speaker 3: world view, like much of their world view is just contradictory, 841 00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,920 Speaker 3: and it's like you don't get to have these things 842 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:04,760 Speaker 3: both ways. Yet like rarely are they called out because 843 00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,360 Speaker 3: you know, frankly, you're not even allowed to say some 844 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,000 Speaker 3: of this stuff anymore. I mean, you know, without being 845 00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,640 Speaker 3: looked down upon. I mean, like, you know, I'm sure 846 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:16,480 Speaker 3: there'll be some people in my comments talking about how 847 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,560 Speaker 3: we're misogynists and stuff like that, which. 848 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:26,359 Speaker 1: Is just yeah, I suppose you. I suppose you're right 849 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:26,799 Speaker 1: about that. 850 00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,799 Speaker 3: I mean, I mean, do you so, how confident are 851 00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:31,720 Speaker 3: you that your children are going to leave the home 852 00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:35,160 Speaker 3: and when they are exposed to these other influential figures 853 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:38,640 Speaker 3: in their life, college professor's bosses, whatever, How confident are 854 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:42,560 Speaker 3: you that they're going to, you know, have this world 855 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:47,000 Speaker 3: view that continues to be like a similar as yours, 856 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 3: Because frankly, Nick, it is I'm amazed. I mean, not 857 00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,560 Speaker 3: that I didn't think that you are capable of this 858 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:55,840 Speaker 3: level of depth of thinking. 859 00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:59,399 Speaker 1: Don't take it like that I just mean like it's 860 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,279 Speaker 1: it's like showed up, thought I was gonna be eating 861 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:02,160 Speaker 1: crayons over here. 862 00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:04,839 Speaker 3: Maybe a little bit, I mean because the red one 863 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,720 Speaker 3: only because only because I ate them prior to the show. 864 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:12,200 Speaker 3: But I just, you know, I guess very rarely do 865 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,400 Speaker 3: I meet someone who is in you know, infantry, special 866 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,840 Speaker 3: forces type guy who is in the same place in 867 00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:21,560 Speaker 3: his life raising kids, fully committed to the process, trying 868 00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:23,919 Speaker 3: to figure it out, trying to take all of these 869 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,560 Speaker 3: experiences in the military, which looking back are some of 870 00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,920 Speaker 3: the best most formative years of my life, just in 871 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,920 Speaker 3: terms of developing me as a young man and as 872 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,080 Speaker 3: a leader and as a soldier, and then trying to 873 00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:36,360 Speaker 3: figure out how you take all of that wisdom and 874 00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,640 Speaker 3: apply it to being a father and a good husband. 875 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,879 Speaker 3: It's just a it's a NonStop, twenty four hours a day, 876 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:44,880 Speaker 3: seven days a week thing for me. And you've clearly 877 00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:48,920 Speaker 3: spent so much time on this and you and like 878 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:52,600 Speaker 3: when you have a bib from the biblical worldview of 879 00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:57,160 Speaker 3: the nuclear family to standards that everyone in your family 880 00:42:57,239 --> 00:43:01,440 Speaker 3: seems to clearly understand. So you've got this structure and 881 00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:06,359 Speaker 3: rules that people get. How confident are you that when 882 00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,440 Speaker 3: your kids leave the nest, that they're going to have 883 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:11,560 Speaker 3: that same or at least similar worldview. 884 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:14,560 Speaker 2: So I would say I'm confident, but I'm not arrogant 885 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,239 Speaker 2: about it, right, So I'm confident in the sense that 886 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:21,160 Speaker 2: I think we continue to do I think we continue 887 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:22,960 Speaker 2: to work through the process to make sure that they 888 00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:27,240 Speaker 2: feel they feel adequately equipped. So, to give you an idea, 889 00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:33,920 Speaker 2: both of both of my daughters love theater, so they 890 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,279 Speaker 2: do plays, and my oldest daughter has been doing place 891 00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:40,960 Speaker 2: for gosh like seven years now. So as you can imagine, 892 00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,720 Speaker 2: the theater world is clearly known as being a bastion 893 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:44,960 Speaker 2: of conservative thoughts. 894 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:46,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, right. 895 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:50,879 Speaker 2: She regularly finds herself because of the work that she does, 896 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,919 Speaker 2: Because of the work that she does within the theater 897 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,960 Speaker 2: and whatnot, she constantly finds herself in a situation where 898 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,440 Speaker 2: she's interacting with people that have a worldview that, in 899 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:02,399 Speaker 2: many cases diametrically opposed to hers. And when she first 900 00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,600 Speaker 2: started doing this and whatnot, we would come home and 901 00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:05,880 Speaker 2: like we'd. 902 00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:06,160 Speaker 1: Talk about her. 903 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,960 Speaker 2: She would she would go through things and talk with it, 904 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:13,359 Speaker 2: talk about it with me. Now, again, we homeschooled. Now, 905 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:14,880 Speaker 2: a lot of people think that if you homeschool. That 906 00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:16,960 Speaker 2: means you don't expose your kids to anything outside of 907 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,879 Speaker 2: the you know, the four walls of your house. That's 908 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:20,520 Speaker 2: that couldn't be further from the truth. 909 00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:22,040 Speaker 1: But what it didn't. 910 00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:25,080 Speaker 2: Mean is that we were already seen as her educators, 911 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,719 Speaker 2: so she it wasn't confusing at all to come out 912 00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:32,240 Speaker 2: and ask us questions about philosophy or theology or history 913 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:35,680 Speaker 2: or anything like that. And we we included them in 914 00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:38,120 Speaker 2: conversations when we have debates. In fact, whenever i'd hear 915 00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,520 Speaker 2: one of my kids, especially when they were younger, whenever 916 00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:43,319 Speaker 2: I would hear them regurgitate something that they had heard 917 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:47,239 Speaker 2: me say about politics, or I'd immediately challenge them on it, 918 00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:51,520 Speaker 2: like why do you think that? Well, you know because no, no, no, 919 00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:54,400 Speaker 2: why do you think that? Well, I heard you say it. 920 00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:56,799 Speaker 2: That doesn't that okay? You know why I think it? 921 00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:58,520 Speaker 2: Why do you think it? That's what I want to know, 922 00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,839 Speaker 2: because that's what you're going to get asked, because again, 923 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,400 Speaker 2: I don't want to train them to just regurgitate the 924 00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:07,440 Speaker 2: things that I think a lot of times that what 925 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,439 Speaker 2: is very easy to slip into it as a parent 926 00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:12,960 Speaker 2: is that rather than teaching them critical thinking, and a 927 00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:17,720 Speaker 2: comprehensive and you know, intellectually sustainable worldview. What we actually 928 00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,640 Speaker 2: do is we teach them an incentive structure. So at 929 00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:22,880 Speaker 2: the top of that incentive structure is the authority figure 930 00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:25,440 Speaker 2: us and these are the things you do that make 931 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,000 Speaker 2: us happy, and these are the things that you do 932 00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,120 Speaker 2: that make us mad. If you do the happy things, 933 00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,640 Speaker 2: you get rewarded. You don't got to understand why you're 934 00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:33,480 Speaker 2: doing the happy things. The only reason what you have 935 00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:35,400 Speaker 2: to understand is I get rewarded if I do the 936 00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,080 Speaker 2: things that you know makes them happy. Well again, you 937 00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:39,840 Speaker 2: go off to college and now all of a sudden, 938 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,360 Speaker 2: not only has the authority figure changed, but the incentive 939 00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:45,960 Speaker 2: structure has changed. So it was really important for us 940 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,839 Speaker 2: for our kids to understand that we believe this because 941 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:51,120 Speaker 2: it's true. Here's the reasons why we think it's true. 942 00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,120 Speaker 2: Here's the reasons why we think that if you follow 943 00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:55,880 Speaker 2: the truth, it will actually provide benefits to you and 944 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,480 Speaker 2: your life, with respect to your relationships, with respect to 945 00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,360 Speaker 2: your job, with respect to you know, whatever else you 946 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,600 Speaker 2: do in life, and just basic interaction with people. And 947 00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,960 Speaker 2: then we challenged it. We have those moments where we 948 00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:08,839 Speaker 2: went back and forth, and we didn't protect them from 949 00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,799 Speaker 2: going into an environments where they would be challenged. And 950 00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,400 Speaker 2: what they ended up doing is they ended up developing 951 00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:16,960 Speaker 2: this process where they would interact and they would they 952 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,200 Speaker 2: would defend what they believe to people, and they would 953 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:20,920 Speaker 2: find different ways to do it to be more effective, 954 00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:22,600 Speaker 2: and then they would come home and talk about it 955 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:23,800 Speaker 2: with us because it was exciting. 956 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:24,239 Speaker 1: Oh. 957 00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,120 Speaker 2: We got in this conversation at theater and we talked 958 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,080 Speaker 2: about X, Y and Z, and everybody was saying this, 959 00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:30,719 Speaker 2: and you know, instead of instead of responding right away, 960 00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,080 Speaker 2: I said, we know, I think that's interesting, but what 961 00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:34,520 Speaker 2: do you think about this? And I got them to 962 00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:36,200 Speaker 2: look at it from a different perspective. And then I 963 00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,400 Speaker 2: found out that three other people actually agreed with me. 964 00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:43,400 Speaker 2: So they got excited about that because they they experience, 965 00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,960 Speaker 2: like in the military at confidence targets. Right when you're 966 00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:48,879 Speaker 2: when you're training up and you're operating with with your 967 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,759 Speaker 2: Iraqis or your Afghan Afghanians or whatever it is, and 968 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,000 Speaker 2: you've got like a unit that isn't well trained, you 969 00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:57,240 Speaker 2: don't immediately throw them at a complex multi story hostage 970 00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:01,640 Speaker 2: rescue target. Right you go, You go with the recon right, 971 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,759 Speaker 2: like you do something cheesy that they can accomplish, get 972 00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,040 Speaker 2: some success, and then start to feel and then they 973 00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:09,960 Speaker 2: want to learn more, and then they're excited about this process. 974 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,799 Speaker 2: And so thus far I can say that, you know, again, 975 00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:16,480 Speaker 2: my oldest daughter's twenty. She's been in a lot of 976 00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:20,200 Speaker 2: environments where her worldview was challenged on a regular basis, 977 00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:24,160 Speaker 2: and it doesn't FaZe her. In fact, what she found 978 00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:27,440 Speaker 2: was that a lot of her most like what you 979 00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:33,160 Speaker 2: might consider like very woke, very liberal progressive friends, she 980 00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:35,520 Speaker 2: was the one they all came to when they wanted 981 00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:39,160 Speaker 2: sound advice. Interesting, when when they just wanted to hear 982 00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,600 Speaker 2: you go girls, slay queen the whole they can they 983 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,720 Speaker 2: can go to anybody for that, the queen. 984 00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:47,960 Speaker 1: My daughter, My daughter just said that two hours ago. 985 00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:51,600 Speaker 1: I was like, slay slay queen. This is how I 986 00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:53,760 Speaker 1: know you've got guess how you know you've got girls? 987 00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:56,960 Speaker 1: You got girls. But when they. 988 00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:59,000 Speaker 2: Wanted somebody who they know cared about them, because she 989 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,360 Speaker 2: was always very very good making sure people knew that 990 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:02,359 Speaker 2: she cared about them. 991 00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,920 Speaker 1: This is this is a tougher part for me, right, because. 992 00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:07,080 Speaker 2: We're more kicked down the door, flash banging the room, 993 00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:08,719 Speaker 2: and I'll show you how much I care, you know, 994 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:13,440 Speaker 2: three round verse. But yeah, she got very good at 995 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:16,239 Speaker 2: understanding the environment that she was in was heavily emotional, 996 00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:19,400 Speaker 2: you know, by the nature of the environment, and so 997 00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:22,480 Speaker 2: rather than just try to crush people with her ability 998 00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:27,200 Speaker 2: to argue, she really focused on making sure people understood 999 00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,960 Speaker 2: that she cared about them and that she wanted the 1000 00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:31,840 Speaker 2: best for them. And then when she gave advice, it 1001 00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:33,799 Speaker 2: was based off of what she generally thought was the 1002 00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,640 Speaker 2: best advice for them, not whatever popular culture was telling 1003 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:40,319 Speaker 2: her reinforcing. And so she created this established relationship with 1004 00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,799 Speaker 2: her friends where she was the go to person if 1005 00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:47,279 Speaker 2: they wanted the hard truth, and once she had worked 1006 00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:50,680 Speaker 2: herself into that role, it was she was providing value 1007 00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:54,319 Speaker 2: to other people and it was appreciated. Not to mention 1008 00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:58,600 Speaker 2: the fact that she also feels, you know, she doesn't 1009 00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,440 Speaker 2: have mom and Dad's faith, she has hers, right, that's 1010 00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,000 Speaker 2: her relationship with God. 1011 00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:05,040 Speaker 1: We we might have we might have. 1012 00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:07,759 Speaker 2: Showed her the you know, that path, but she had 1013 00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:10,239 Speaker 2: Ultimately they have to choose it, just like your son. 1014 00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:14,320 Speaker 2: Ultimately we prepare them for manhood, they choose whether or 1015 00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:15,120 Speaker 2: not they're going to enter it. 1016 00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:21,880 Speaker 3: I mean, so, how concerned are you about the redefining 1017 00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:25,799 Speaker 3: of words? Because when you're talking about truth, you know, 1018 00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:29,840 Speaker 3: we base things in truth, A part of me feels 1019 00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:33,880 Speaker 3: like that word has lost all meaning. And frankly, again, 1020 00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:38,600 Speaker 3: I think that's I think that's deliberate to erode people's 1021 00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:42,560 Speaker 3: sense of north south, like what's crazy and what's not? 1022 00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:47,320 Speaker 3: You know, And because because everything in this world feels 1023 00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,880 Speaker 3: completely upside down, you know, when you can't if you 1024 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:53,080 Speaker 3: can't even define what what a woman is like, we've 1025 00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:53,640 Speaker 3: got it. 1026 00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:56,640 Speaker 1: We've got real problems. And so how afraid are you 1027 00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:58,600 Speaker 1: of that? How afraid? Because I mean that is what 1028 00:49:58,920 --> 00:49:59,120 Speaker 1: you know. 1029 00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:03,279 Speaker 3: Not to make this super political, but the left, they 1030 00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:08,640 Speaker 3: are experts at taking words and deconstructing them and giving 1031 00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:09,279 Speaker 3: them new meaning. 1032 00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:14,080 Speaker 2: We just did a two hour podcast on postmodernism and deconstructionism. 1033 00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:17,239 Speaker 3: So we talked about postmodernism in grad school, and I 1034 00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,040 Speaker 3: was the only conserve. I was in a PhD program, 1035 00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:20,879 Speaker 3: but I was the only conservative in all four years 1036 00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:24,280 Speaker 3: of the program. And these people were obsessed with postmodernism 1037 00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:28,799 Speaker 3: and not even realizing how just dangerous it is if 1038 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,319 Speaker 3: that's the only world view that through which you see 1039 00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:32,640 Speaker 3: the world yeah. 1040 00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,400 Speaker 2: Well, because postmodernism though, the way I describe it as 1041 00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:38,600 Speaker 2: it's like a universal solvent, where do you keep it? 1042 00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:42,799 Speaker 2: Postmodernism doesn't build anything. It just critiques what already exists. Well, 1043 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,279 Speaker 2: if your only role in life is to critique that 1044 00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:50,319 Speaker 2: which exists against some sort of utopian reality that will 1045 00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:53,640 Speaker 2: never exist, your job's pretty easy. You just can't build 1046 00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:57,959 Speaker 2: anything from that. The dumbest thing. Sorry, and this sounds 1047 00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:00,239 Speaker 2: very just kind of flipping and pejorative, but the way 1048 00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:02,400 Speaker 2: I feel about it, let. 1049 00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:02,719 Speaker 1: Me start with this. 1050 00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:08,279 Speaker 2: The thing that deconstructionism and postmodernism got right was that 1051 00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:13,120 Speaker 2: we should challenge accepted narratives. Right, And if you're questioning 1052 00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:15,480 Speaker 2: that at all, think of about how you felt as 1053 00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:17,960 Speaker 2: a conservative when the government decided to come in and 1054 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,120 Speaker 2: close down your business and tell you to wear things 1055 00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,640 Speaker 2: and tell you to do things and everything else because 1056 00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:26,760 Speaker 2: they were the science. That is a narrative you should challenge. 1057 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,560 Speaker 2: That is a narrative that you should attempt to deconstruct 1058 00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,480 Speaker 2: in order to determine whether or not the people that 1059 00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:33,960 Speaker 2: fostered that narrative have your best interest in mind, have 1060 00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:36,360 Speaker 2: done the accurate research, and have made it logically an 1061 00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:40,319 Speaker 2: intellectually consistent argument, or if they're potentially excuse me, they're 1062 00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:45,080 Speaker 2: potentially motivated by other things, right, perfectly fine, nothing wrong 1063 00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:49,600 Speaker 2: with that. Where postmodernism like totally fails is that, rather 1064 00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:52,160 Speaker 2: than just issue like strong critiques based off of a 1065 00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:54,759 Speaker 2: little bit of reasonable skepticism, they then move on to 1066 00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:58,800 Speaker 2: this idea that there is no such thing as objective truth. Okay, 1067 00:51:59,239 --> 00:51:59,960 Speaker 2: is that true? 1068 00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:00,880 Speaker 1: Like? 1069 00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:02,920 Speaker 2: Really, this is the part that I I this is 1070 00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,279 Speaker 2: the part where when you look at postmodernism as an 1071 00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:08,680 Speaker 2: intellectual exercise, it is rank absurdity. 1072 00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:11,640 Speaker 1: There's no such thing as truth. Okay? 1073 00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:13,880 Speaker 2: Is it true that there's no such thing as truth? 1074 00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:16,439 Speaker 1: Yes, okay, I guess there is such a thing as truth. 1075 00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:17,520 Speaker 1: Wait wait no, I mean no. 1076 00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:19,960 Speaker 2: Oh, so what you just said was wrong and I 1077 00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:22,719 Speaker 2: don't got to believe it. I don't know. Is it 1078 00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:25,279 Speaker 2: true that you don't know? This is so easy to 1079 00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:28,600 Speaker 2: dismantle because it's based off of a fundamental premise that 1080 00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:31,880 Speaker 2: is self defeating. It doesn't make sense on its face, 1081 00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:36,600 Speaker 2: and nobody, By the way, the most dedicated postmodernist on 1082 00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:39,640 Speaker 2: the planet never lived a single day in their life 1083 00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:43,680 Speaker 2: actually believing in postmodernism, because they still got up in 1084 00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,359 Speaker 2: the morning. They still went out to their car. They 1085 00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:49,239 Speaker 2: still turned the key, fully expecting, fully expecting that if 1086 00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:51,200 Speaker 2: they walked the way they did yesterday, if they turned 1087 00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:52,959 Speaker 2: the key the way they did yesterday, if they drove 1088 00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:55,400 Speaker 2: the same route, the building would still be there. They 1089 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,600 Speaker 2: would go in and the people they still work. In fact, 1090 00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:02,200 Speaker 2: the same jackasses actually wrote down on paper that I 1091 00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:02,640 Speaker 2: love this. 1092 00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:03,839 Speaker 1: This is a Jacques derrative thing. 1093 00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:07,240 Speaker 2: They wrote down this idea that language has no meaning 1094 00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:10,320 Speaker 2: outside of itself, and that the written word is nothing 1095 00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:13,839 Speaker 2: more than an attempt for the author to impose their 1096 00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:18,400 Speaker 2: worldview on you. So you should be very careful of it. Really, Jacques, 1097 00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:21,920 Speaker 2: does that apply to the thing you just wrote or 1098 00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:22,920 Speaker 2: is that everybody else? 1099 00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:29,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, Dridian philosophy is it's again, it's a worldview that 1100 00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:32,960 Speaker 3: is wholly inconsistent with actually living in the world and 1101 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,360 Speaker 3: having real life existential experiences. 1102 00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:37,879 Speaker 1: I here's what I. 1103 00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:40,680 Speaker 3: Couldn't like what I was living through COVID, where they 1104 00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:43,600 Speaker 3: locked down close small business, loved ones have to die alone. 1105 00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:46,360 Speaker 3: I'm sorry you can't hold your newborn baby because you 1106 00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:49,879 Speaker 3: know lockdown. In questioning narratives, the very people who were 1107 00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:52,959 Speaker 3: pushing the trust the science narrative were likely the grad 1108 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:54,600 Speaker 3: students that were the postmodernists. 1109 00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,439 Speaker 1: So wrap your mind around that one. 1110 00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:59,399 Speaker 2: Well, that's it, And I think to your point, it's 1111 00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:02,759 Speaker 2: because it isn't about coming up with a coherent set 1112 00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:06,719 Speaker 2: of values or even intellectual convictions which you can live by. 1113 00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:12,520 Speaker 2: It is about the quest for power, right, postmodernism. Postmodernism 1114 00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:16,360 Speaker 2: is not used to build anything. Postmodernism is a weapon. 1115 00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:20,040 Speaker 2: It is a tool of aggression against every other competing 1116 00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:22,479 Speaker 2: worldview out there, because all it is is this form 1117 00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:25,400 Speaker 2: of like rank skepticism, which says, I'm going to deconstruct 1118 00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:27,480 Speaker 2: everything you say because I have a right to say 1119 00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:29,560 Speaker 2: that you're an oppressor and this is an oppressed and 1120 00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,560 Speaker 2: therefore you using logic, reasons, science or any of those 1121 00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:34,480 Speaker 2: other things in order to try to come to a 1122 00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,759 Speaker 2: rational conclusion is just you using a tool of the 1123 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,360 Speaker 2: patriarch or to oppress people. 1124 00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:41,520 Speaker 1: Now, now here's what I fsk. 1125 00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:47,440 Speaker 3: It's so unbelievably insulting and intellectually lazy. It just is 1126 00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:50,160 Speaker 3: so frustrating. 1127 00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:52,520 Speaker 2: But it provides one major value proposition of the people 1128 00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:56,799 Speaker 2: that apply it. It absolves them of responsibility to either come 1129 00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:00,160 Speaker 2: up with something better or to actually do a on 1130 00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:05,280 Speaker 2: historical comparative comparison between the different systems that were actually 1131 00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:08,920 Speaker 2: supposed to be analyzing. Right, if all I have to 1132 00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:11,680 Speaker 2: do is sit here and lob over, you know, bombs 1133 00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,840 Speaker 2: at you, but I don't have to actually provide any 1134 00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:19,680 Speaker 2: sort of insight into how things should be run, well 1135 00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:23,279 Speaker 2: that's a great position to have. I mean, you're just this, 1136 00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:25,480 Speaker 2: You're just the skeptic, that's all you are. You're the 1137 00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:27,600 Speaker 2: you know, you're sitting on the skeptic. You're not responsible 1138 00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:31,600 Speaker 2: for anything providence. Yeah, exactly, exactly. It's easy to be. 1139 00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:33,040 Speaker 2: It's easy to be the. 1140 00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:37,359 Speaker 3: Critic or the skeptic without providing any real recommendations how 1141 00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:39,000 Speaker 3: to build anything in the first place. 1142 00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:40,840 Speaker 1: You know well, and and also and. 1143 00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:45,279 Speaker 2: Also it doesn't in reality, but theoretically, if if you're 1144 00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,200 Speaker 2: living in a relatively safe, prosperous and secure times like 1145 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:52,520 Speaker 2: most Americans are, most Americans are. Well, now you've just 1146 00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:55,480 Speaker 2: been told that all of the rules that that governs 1147 00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,879 Speaker 2: society with respect to what is a man? 1148 00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:00,239 Speaker 1: What does a woman? Do? We have actual roles in societ. 1149 00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:02,320 Speaker 1: What is truth? What is good? What is bad? 1150 00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:05,759 Speaker 2: What are behaviors which are positive and healthy and which 1151 00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,399 Speaker 2: ones are hedonistic and destructive. You don't get to listen 1152 00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:11,839 Speaker 2: to any of that anymore. You can just you can 1153 00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:14,000 Speaker 2: be as hedonistic as you want to be. You can 1154 00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,000 Speaker 2: go out there and do whatever you want, experiment with 1155 00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:19,200 Speaker 2: whatever you want. And anybody that has the audacity to 1156 00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:22,479 Speaker 2: suggest to you, hey, that might not be a good idea, well, 1157 00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:26,480 Speaker 2: now not only are they wrong, they're upholding tools of 1158 00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:30,040 Speaker 2: the patriarchy. And and so it provides this this moral 1159 00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:31,960 Speaker 2: clearance to do a whole bunch of things and to 1160 00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:36,120 Speaker 2: recommend things that are absolutely self destructive. And the moment 1161 00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:40,239 Speaker 2: the self destructive activity leads to bad results, they get 1162 00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:45,160 Speaker 2: to blame everybody but themselves. That can be really real icing. 1163 00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:49,279 Speaker 3: It's it's enticing. I just I do think that it's 1164 00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:54,759 Speaker 3: it's also extraordinarily dangerous in a functioning society because it 1165 00:56:54,960 --> 00:57:00,920 Speaker 3: lacks Postmodernists also lack a very real sense of moral clarity. 1166 00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:03,000 Speaker 3: And I had my first experience of this when I 1167 00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:06,520 Speaker 3: came back from Afghanistan Nick where I was like talking 1168 00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:09,240 Speaker 3: about the what they do to children in that country 1169 00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:11,719 Speaker 3: and how they live and how barbaric they are, and 1170 00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:15,319 Speaker 3: I'm like, our life is better like Western society, and 1171 00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:18,919 Speaker 3: what we've built here is better than what they have there, 1172 00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:23,360 Speaker 3: like women have no rights. And to the postmodernists, who 1173 00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:25,439 Speaker 3: I was debating in grad school at the time, it's 1174 00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:28,160 Speaker 3: like no, no, no, no, no no. Now that their 1175 00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:33,400 Speaker 3: culture is just different, they believe different things than you. 1176 00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,400 Speaker 3: You know, it's just this whole concept of moral relativism 1177 00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:41,720 Speaker 3: erodes people's ability, especially impressionable children. You know, because we've 1178 00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,960 Speaker 3: been talking about raising kids, especially impressiable children, about what 1179 00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:49,000 Speaker 3: is good and what is evil. And I am not 1180 00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:52,120 Speaker 3: afraid to tell my children that, hey, the American way 1181 00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:54,440 Speaker 3: of life, our way of life, while not perfect, and 1182 00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:57,720 Speaker 3: we are constantly trying to get better and refine our 1183 00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:01,200 Speaker 3: society and be better. What are the most other places? 1184 00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:05,400 Speaker 3: But the postmodernists can't do that. They can't do that 1185 00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:06,600 Speaker 3: because everything is relative. 1186 00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:09,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well it's all relative until they don't want 1187 00:58:09,560 --> 00:58:13,120 Speaker 2: it to be. That's that's the thing, right, every really 1188 00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:17,680 Speaker 2: is like everything's relative, except of postmodernism. That's that's objectively true. 1189 00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:21,760 Speaker 2: But exactly I find it. I find it interesting that 1190 00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:24,320 Speaker 2: every every argument I have ever had with a postmodernist, 1191 00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:26,520 Speaker 2: they will especially when they actually start to talk about 1192 00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:29,720 Speaker 2: how we should organize society, because that's always problematic for 1193 00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:32,120 Speaker 2: them the moment they start, the moment they start to create. 1194 00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:33,040 Speaker 1: Their own meta narrative. 1195 00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:34,480 Speaker 2: Well, then now all of a sudden they have a 1196 00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:36,560 Speaker 2: problem because they're not supposed to believe in meta narratives. 1197 00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:43,160 Speaker 2: But what I have found is that they they love logic, science, facts, 1198 00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:46,800 Speaker 2: and reason provided they think they have enough of it 1199 00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:51,240 Speaker 2: to support their argument, and so they will rely on 1200 00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:53,040 Speaker 2: all of those things in order to try to convince 1201 00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:55,880 Speaker 2: you of a particular course of action. The moment you 1202 00:58:56,080 --> 00:59:01,840 Speaker 2: counter that with superior evidence, logic, reason, argumentation, then they 1203 00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:05,439 Speaker 2: go back to being postmodernists again, right, because everybody wants 1204 00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:07,040 Speaker 2: to use the tools as long as they think they're 1205 00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:09,720 Speaker 2: in their favor. It's just they have this backup called 1206 00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:13,040 Speaker 2: postmodernism where the moment all of a sudden their arguments 1207 00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:15,880 Speaker 2: fall flat, they just get to accuse you of being 1208 00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,840 Speaker 2: part of the oppressor cloud. Of course you would say 1209 00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:20,880 Speaker 2: that you're a white heterosexual male. What does that have 1210 00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:23,240 Speaker 2: to do with the marginal tax rate? Well, you know, 1211 00:59:23,360 --> 00:59:25,880 Speaker 2: if I have to explain it to you, then you know, 1212 00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,040 Speaker 2: and the date. The real danger in that, the real 1213 00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:33,200 Speaker 2: danger in that long term is that if we can't 1214 00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:35,040 Speaker 2: agree to live if we can't agree to live in 1215 00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:36,760 Speaker 2: peace with one another, which is to say, I'm not 1216 00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:38,600 Speaker 2: going to try to impose my will on you, you don't 1217 00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:42,000 Speaker 2: try to impose your will on me, and we will 1218 00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:44,400 Speaker 2: leave the government limited to handle just very very few 1219 00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:45,240 Speaker 2: things that it needs to do. 1220 00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:48,080 Speaker 1: We're not going to make it expansive. But insofar as 1221 00:59:48,080 --> 00:59:49,439 Speaker 1: we do need to decide. 1222 00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:51,160 Speaker 2: What the government is going to do, there needs to 1223 00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:55,000 Speaker 2: be a process that both both parties feel comfortable in 1224 00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:57,600 Speaker 2: being able to review evidence, review data, and then come 1225 00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:01,240 Speaker 2: to logical conclusions about courses of action and then analyzing 1226 01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:03,400 Speaker 2: those courses of action in order to determine whether they 1227 01:00:03,440 --> 01:00:08,960 Speaker 2: achieve the desired outcomes. Postmodernism doesn't allow for that. So 1228 01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:11,280 Speaker 2: all we're left with with postmodernism. And this is going 1229 01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:13,280 Speaker 2: to sound a lot like critical theory and critical race 1230 01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:18,600 Speaker 2: theory and queer theory because it's all connected, it's all interconnected. 1231 01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:21,200 Speaker 1: Well then what have you left me with? 1232 01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:24,360 Speaker 2: Well, you've left me with your lived experience is supposed 1233 01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:26,400 Speaker 2: to trump any sort of evidence I bring. And if 1234 01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:28,160 Speaker 2: I bring anything, or if I try to, if I 1235 01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:31,000 Speaker 2: try to find common ground where we can potentially come, 1236 01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:33,120 Speaker 2: I'm acting like an oppressor. 1237 01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:34,520 Speaker 1: What you've just told. 1238 01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:36,800 Speaker 2: Me is that there is no means for you and 1239 01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:40,000 Speaker 2: I to adjudicate differences or problems, and that there's no 1240 01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:45,400 Speaker 2: means where we can just leave each other alone. You 1241 01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:48,080 Speaker 2: want me to do certain things, you want me to 1242 01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:50,360 Speaker 2: hand over certain rights, You want to be able to 1243 01:00:50,360 --> 01:00:53,640 Speaker 2: confiscate things that belong to me, and if I don't comply, 1244 01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:55,440 Speaker 2: you're going to come at me with a whole lot 1245 01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:58,440 Speaker 2: of force and coercion. And because we have no peaceful 1246 01:00:58,440 --> 01:01:02,440 Speaker 2: means for adjudicating this, then me surrendering. What does that 1247 01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:05,120 Speaker 2: leave me at? Because I'll tell you this much, I'm 1248 01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:06,000 Speaker 2: not surrendering. 1249 01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:07,320 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. 1250 01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:10,240 Speaker 2: And that's the real problem with with this philosophy that 1251 01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:12,800 Speaker 2: has just captured so many, so many people, is that 1252 01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:16,800 Speaker 2: for all their talk of of you know, tolerance and 1253 01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:21,160 Speaker 2: acceptance and diversity, what it really leads to, inevitably is 1254 01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:25,720 Speaker 2: violence as the only, the only final way to adjudicate problems. 1255 01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:27,960 Speaker 2: And I don't want that to take you. This is 1256 01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,360 Speaker 2: the thing so many other people talk about this very cavalierly. 1257 01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:32,040 Speaker 2: You and I have been to war, We've seen what 1258 01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:34,000 Speaker 2: it looks like. We don't want it in our neighborhoods. 1259 01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:36,920 Speaker 2: But by the same token, don't think for a second 1260 01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:40,320 Speaker 2: we're going to roll over and allow this philosophy to 1261 01:01:40,480 --> 01:01:45,040 Speaker 2: to predominate and take over and destroy what I agree 1262 01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:48,640 Speaker 2: with you has been the best demonstration of human history 1263 01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:52,320 Speaker 2: of what a peaceful, prosperous and free society can actually 1264 01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:52,680 Speaker 2: look like. 1265 01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:57,160 Speaker 3: Mm hmm, man, Nick, I've had you for over an hour, 1266 01:01:57,240 --> 01:01:59,080 Speaker 3: and I don't want to go. I'm in a respect 1267 01:01:59,080 --> 01:02:02,320 Speaker 3: your time, but I would love to have you back 1268 01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:05,560 Speaker 3: to actually talk about your military service, if that's okay 1269 01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:07,760 Speaker 3: with you. I know, I know that you're like very 1270 01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:10,280 Speaker 3: I know you're very, very busy. I mean, but I 1271 01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:13,080 Speaker 3: went to grad school and we part of like in 1272 01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:16,320 Speaker 3: a PhD. And we studied a lot of existential phenomenology 1273 01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:20,320 Speaker 3: and all of these philosophers, and I could never get 1274 01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:23,480 Speaker 3: on board with their worldview, not most of them, anyway, 1275 01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:25,160 Speaker 3: And I just always thought it was a little bit 1276 01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:30,280 Speaker 3: crazy because they all lacked a distinct sense of structure, logic, reasoning, 1277 01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:32,919 Speaker 3: moral clarity, and at the end. 1278 01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,439 Speaker 1: Of the day prioritize self over everything else. 1279 01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:38,160 Speaker 3: And what I've learned in my life is that you 1280 01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:41,360 Speaker 3: know the pathway to a meaningful life is through service 1281 01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:45,080 Speaker 3: and acts of kindness to others, and that path, this 1282 01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:50,080 Speaker 3: is probably simplistic, but the path, the road to unhappiness 1283 01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:53,520 Speaker 3: is paved with entitlement, thinking like the world somehow owes 1284 01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:56,360 Speaker 3: you something that you were here to take from other people. 1285 01:02:56,560 --> 01:02:59,800 Speaker 3: And I just fundamentally disagree with that. And I think 1286 01:02:59,840 --> 01:03:02,080 Speaker 3: so much of our culture when you talked about, you know, 1287 01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:05,640 Speaker 3: so much of our culture just discarding it. I completely agree, 1288 01:03:06,160 --> 01:03:09,480 Speaker 3: and I think for me anyway, the reason for that 1289 01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:10,680 Speaker 3: is is to focus on. 1290 01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,120 Speaker 1: Me, me, me, me, and. 1291 01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:15,760 Speaker 3: I loathe that and I don't want my kids to 1292 01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:16,680 Speaker 3: to believe. 1293 01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:17,600 Speaker 1: In that trash either. 1294 01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:23,280 Speaker 3: So I I can't believe that our conversation went this way, 1295 01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:24,479 Speaker 3: but I'm glad it did. 1296 01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:26,360 Speaker 1: I'm glad it did because I. 1297 01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:29,840 Speaker 3: Can guarantee you that there are lots of dads out there, 1298 01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:32,040 Speaker 3: some of whom are combat veterans, some of whom are 1299 01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:35,760 Speaker 3: police officers, firefighters, whatever, or just dads just trying to 1300 01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:37,880 Speaker 3: be better dads trying to figure this out that they're 1301 01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:41,320 Speaker 3: going to get something from this conversation. So Nick, thank you. 1302 01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:46,480 Speaker 3: I'm really pleasure. It's great to see again. Okay, everybody 1303 01:03:46,520 --> 01:03:51,360 Speaker 3: that's a rap with Nick fredis amazing show, amazing guy. 1304 01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:52,960 Speaker 3: I had no idea we were going to go down 1305 01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:57,040 Speaker 3: that path about talking about raising kids and what it's 1306 01:03:57,080 --> 01:04:01,280 Speaker 3: like to be, you know, combat veterans and raising daughters. 1307 01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:04,320 Speaker 3: It's really a strange thing taking those leadership lessons that 1308 01:04:04,360 --> 01:04:06,840 Speaker 3: you learn on the battlefield and being a noncommissioned officer 1309 01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:09,000 Speaker 3: an officer, and then applying them to being a father 1310 01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:12,800 Speaker 3: and a family with small children, boys or girls. As challengings. 1311 01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:15,480 Speaker 3: I think for it's for fathers. It's all the more 1312 01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:18,560 Speaker 3: challenging when you're raising daughters because you want to make 1313 01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:21,760 Speaker 3: sure that you're there for them, that you're listening, that 1314 01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:24,000 Speaker 3: you're doing all the things necessary to set them up 1315 01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:28,200 Speaker 3: for success in life. So unexpected path we went down, 1316 01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:30,840 Speaker 3: but I was glad to have that conversation with Nick. 1317 01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:31,840 Speaker 1: As usual. 1318 01:04:32,240 --> 01:04:34,920 Speaker 3: If you like the content that you just watched or 1319 01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:38,440 Speaker 3: you listen to, please make sure that you subscribe to 1320 01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:41,840 Speaker 3: the podcast. I'm exclusively on Rumble for the live stream. 1321 01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:46,960 Speaker 3: I'm also available anywhere you listen to podcasts, so like, subscribe, 1322 01:04:47,120 --> 01:04:50,440 Speaker 3: leave comments, or if you're on Rumble, like the little 1323 01:04:50,520 --> 01:04:53,080 Speaker 3: like button Rumble Like click the Rumble button because it 1324 01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:55,480 Speaker 3: helps us with all this algorithm stuff that I don't 1325 01:04:55,520 --> 01:05:00,480 Speaker 3: quite understand. I'm also rolling out new T shirts on 1326 01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:04,840 Speaker 3: official Sean Parnell dot com called the Battleground Apparel Company. 1327 01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:07,560 Speaker 1: You're looking at one of the shirts never Quit, Never Surrendered. 1328 01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:09,880 Speaker 3: That's the mission of this podcast, and ultimately I think 1329 01:05:09,880 --> 01:05:13,520 Speaker 3: it's it should be our mission in life. But go 1330 01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:16,080 Speaker 3: grab a T shirt if that's that's what you believe. 1331 01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:20,040 Speaker 3: And as usual, thank you all for listening to this show, 1332 01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:22,440 Speaker 3: in this podcast. God bless you all, and God bless 1333 01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:25,120 Speaker 3: this amazing country that we live in. 1334 01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:26,120 Speaker 1: Take care