WEBVTT - Take the Cough Drop 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:03.480 Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Red and I 0:00:03.600 --> 0:00:13.800 Heart Radio podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. Scrubbing In. 0:00:14.640 --> 0:00:19.239 Today is the eve of Tanya Is and Raquel is 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:22.680 a book released, The Sunshine Mine. It's a day before 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:29.600 Where are the zomies? Where? Oh yeah, yeah I love 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:31.640 that Where Yeah. I was gonna ask, like, where's your head? 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:33.440 I've never released a book, so I don't know what 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:36.360 this is, what you're experiencing. My head isn't a million 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:39.120 different places right now. So let me just preface this 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:41.680 by saying, like this weekend, I wanted to do my normal, 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:44.840 you know, like before big things. I want to work out, 0:00:45.000 --> 0:00:46.800 and I want to sleep and I want to go 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:49.000 into a sauna and like do all that stuff. I 0:00:49.040 --> 0:00:53.040 did none of that this weekend, And well, you know, 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:56.760 I look at it a sign of maturity because I 0:00:56.840 --> 0:01:00.480 did a deep dive cleansing of my apartment robbing and 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:05.679 I went, oh, here she goes, You're gonna blow you away. Sorry, 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:10.240 it's gone, okay, okay, um. We did like a deep 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:13.039 dive deep clean of my apartment and like went in 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:15.959 like and gutted everything, like went through my kitchen and 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:20.959 all my clothes and like just really it was exhausted, everything, 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:25.600 every room, everything. Yeah, the full weekend was dedicated to that. 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:28.960 So but I feel very accomplished. So that what I'm 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:31.280 saying now, going into this week with everything coming up, 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:35.759 I feel excited. Um. I also feel a little bit 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:39.399 nervous because everybody that's read the book so far has 0:01:39.480 --> 0:01:41.640 been a friend of mine, you know, Like, so even 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:43.279 if they hate it, they're gonna be like, it's great. 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:46.280 But now that it's out, what if somebody doesn't like 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:48.120 it and then they message me and they're like, I 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:51.840 don't like this, And then you say, I'm sorry, but 0:01:51.880 --> 0:01:54.840 thank you for supporting me, thank you for the twenty 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:58.520 four nine. And I mean, you can't control how people 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:01.840 perceive certain things. So if anything, it's like, hey, thank 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:05.320 you for giving me a shot, and maybe you like 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:07.960 the next one. Yeah, And it's a devotional it's not 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:09.920 like it's a story and like they didn't like the 0:02:10.000 --> 0:02:12.080 story or they didn't like the ending or something. I 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:14.160 think it's I think you've described very well what it 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:16.080 is and people are gonna like it for what it is. 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:19.079 Thank you so much, I think. So I have I 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:22.280 have high hopes that it's gonna and I truly feel 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:26.320 like it's gonna do really big things for people that 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:29.080 are struggling in different areas. So I'm excited about that. 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:37.960 So like the excitedness over comes over Trump's over overpowers 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:42.679 over powers any other feelings they are a little bit there. 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:44.919 I mean, I think with anything, when you put your 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:48.760 heart into something and it's vulnerable, there's always that of 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:52.440 the voice in your head that's like, what what if 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:57.320 the negative? You know? But um, I even in the group, 0:02:57.400 --> 0:03:00.160 there were people who were like, I'm not like just 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:03.120 and I don't really have any interest to read the book. 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:06.840 I want to read it could for someone like is 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:09.080 there anyone? And I thought that is so cool because 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:11.800 like even if maybe they don't resonate with it or 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:14.480 have any interest in a devotional they want to support 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:16.639 you and like do it for someone else, which is 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:19.320 really special, I really really special. I saw that Haley 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:22.240 goes this will be the first God book I've ever read. 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:26.000 I literally was like, I wish I could have I 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:27.760 wish she could have said that six months ago and 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:30.000 I could slap it on as an endorsement for the book, 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:34.600 because that is so freaking funny. Yeah, I was like, well, 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:37.120 this will be great, a great start, I think, you know, 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:41.600 you know Toni and Raquel and you know, um, so 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:43.760 I thought that was cute and she was like she 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:46.080 was like looking down at it, and she was like 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:48.520 I said it so casually, and I was like what, 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:53.600 Like I did I hear you right? Just like yeah, 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:57.400 so good. You know, it's funny because Riquel is the 0:03:57.440 --> 0:04:00.720 perfect person to partner with because she really like, she 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:03.360 knows the Bible, She's had a relationship, she grew up 0:04:03.400 --> 0:04:06.240 in church, so she this is this is like who 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:10.480 she is at her core, and um, anytime I was struggling, 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:13.000 especially at the beginning stages of my career, like if 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:15.640 I was dealing with bullying or anything like that, I 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:17.160 would always go go to her and she would come 0:04:17.200 --> 0:04:19.400 back with a scripture that would always make me feel 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:21.760 at peace. So in a sense, the book is kind 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:23.840 of like that, like my you know, she had stories too, 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:26.800 but like storytelling, but also just kind of these verses 0:04:26.839 --> 0:04:30.000 that are going to make you feel encourage, encouraged and 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:34.599 that peace hopefully. Yeah. Well, I your book signing is 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:36.880 tonight at the Grove, So if I don't know when 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:38.600 this is going to come out. But if it's out 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:42.919 before then seven pm, seven pm at the Grove, Baby Grow. 0:04:43.560 --> 0:04:47.640 It's a big deal. Like I think sometimes, especially you, 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:51.200 of all my friends, You're always doing such like crazy, big, 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:55.520 like cool exciting things, so I almost feel sometimes I 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:59.880 get jaded of like, oh, like you know, Tanya's hosting 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:02.160 Harry's Style, you know, like I'm like, well, of course 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:05.440 she is. But this one feels really cool because it's yours, 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:08.599 it's mine, and it's a book, like I think so too. 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:10.760 And I think because it's been so long in the making, 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:12.719 you know, like I've been talking about I've been talking 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:15.800 about and it's like here now, it just feels very weird. 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:18.160 I know. So Robbie's coming, my parents are gonna come up, 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:20.480 you all my friends are gonna be there, and they're 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:23.040 just gonna stay the whole time. I kind of I 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:25.880 don't really know people are going to show up, Like 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:29.600 we'll just continue going around on the line, maybe bring 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:36.000 some outfit changes, different hairstyles. Yeah. Um, well, it's very excited. 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:39.159 I'm very proud of you, very excited for you. Thank you. Um. 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:42.640 And then I'm getting my period later this week. High 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:47.719 mother Nature can bring it back low, she'll humble you quick. Yeah, 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:50.000 don't get too high in mighty on the sunshine mind, 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:54.599 because your period, aunt flow is coming to town. I 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:57.760 think we're sinked. I think I'm going to also start 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:01.400 my period this week. Nothing makes you happier. It makes 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:03.440 me happier than that. I don't know how it happened either. 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:05.839 I mean we've always been a couple of days off. Yeah, 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:08.640 we might still be. My cycle is pretty strong. Twenty 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:11.800 seven days okay, just right on the market. Right on 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:14.160 the market. Yeah, mine's kind of like maybe a couple 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:16.680 of days off here and there. Yeah, or twenty eight 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:19.040 one of the two. Alright, Well, we'll see you. I mean, 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:22.680 here's to hoping. Here's to hoping, even though you'll be 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:27.200 gone on Good Morning America, A Good Morning America. I 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:29.560 don't have a pre interview this week. I'm like, I 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:31.320 can't believe I have a pre interview, meaning like the 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:33.640 producers of Good Morning America. You're gonna call me any 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:37.200 question that's like official, that's like a big deal. You 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:41.000 only get pre interviews for like really big I know, 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:45.800 very exciting. Oh my gosh. Right before we started the podcast, 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:48.120 Tonya was like, what did you ask about Oh, she goes, 0:06:48.160 --> 0:06:50.120 I can't believe you were in the same room with 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:52.839 Alex Earl and you didn't say hi. It seems so 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:56.400 wrong because why because I'm obsessed with her. I we 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:58.120 should have run the podcast, but I feel like we 0:06:58.200 --> 0:06:59.720 gotta get in, you know what I mean, Like we 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:03.440 havent DM her. Well. She had said like she went 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:05.520 through a breakup and kind of did like a live 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:06.880 about it, and she was like, if I can go 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:09.200 and call her daddy, I'll talk about the breakup. So 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:12.280 I think her she's really shooting for the top. Girl. 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:22.560 You know what Choice awards exactly, and you know what, mhm, 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:26.640 there's plenty to go around. Why don't she have to 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:30.040 limit herself to one podcast? I don't think she did. 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:33.000 I think she was just saying, like, I'll talk about 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:34.640 my breakup, and if I get to go and call 0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:38.000 her daddy, why not scrubbing in. It's a perfect place 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:40.200 to talk about your breakup. We can put you back 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:42.160 together again. Girl. I don't know she I don't know 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:44.960 she knows about us. Well, if he would have gone 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:48.200 up here at the party, she would have This is true. 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:52.400 I think that I was thinking about that this morning. 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:59.560 Like our podcast has been consistent for almost six years. Yeah, 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:01.080 this year will be six years, you know what? Not 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:06.960 a lot? How to like that? What again? Like that? 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:10.520 Not a lot? Not a lot or like that? Right, 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:15.400 Like we've had the longevity consistencies. We are the Quaker 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:24.200 Oats of the podcast. Yeah, I don't know if that 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:29.760 will draw people to us, but that's great, Twayne of 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:35.760 podcasts keep going. Okay, I was just thinking, I see 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:38.240 what these other podcasts do as far as like how 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:40.880 they're always like looking to do new things to promote 0:08:40.920 --> 0:08:44.720 the podcast, whether it's like new really cute, like cool merch, 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:48.480 like they're like cool, you know, like vibes, Yeah, their vibes. 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:50.839 And I'm like, I think we've got to really like 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:54.160 increase our coolness because I feel like we're really like nice, 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:59.040 but I don't know we're like cool. But I think 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.320 I'm just gonna throw the out there, I'm not cool. 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:05.960 You're the cool one, so you're gonna have to like, no, 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:09.560 not cool, And like I don't think I don't know 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:13.719 that anyone is cool with the air quotes, but I 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:18.360 don't think they did. They're like doing cool things so 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:21.640 like as a podcast because like into like you're you 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:23.520 literally have a book coming out, like you're doing really 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:26.480 cool things. But like as the podcast, it's like, how 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:32.120 do we be nice and also elevating because I don't. 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:33.880 I don't want to just be cool like I don't. 0:09:33.920 --> 0:09:35.720 I'm not trying to get people to think that we're 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:40.679 like something We're not right, because that would be But 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:44.560 it's like, how do we elevate our brand as a podcast, 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:47.760 Like how do we have people wearing merg being on TikTok, 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:50.440 posting our clips on TikTok, just things like that, I'm 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:54.760 ready for it, I'm down. I'm just not cool myself. 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:58.040 So I need your help on how to be cool. 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:00.679 Like that green screen TikTok, I didn't that was all 0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:05.400 you and that was fire, absolute fire. It's just a 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:09.280 last content over there. So that I was thinking about 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:12.360 I've done on TikTok since I joined in twenty I 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:14.760 think we need Hanna to like really help us because 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:18.200 it was like really cool. Yeah I'm not. She's so 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:20.240 cool and it's like effortless, Like she posts a photo 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:23.679 of her meal and it like I'm like, how it's 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:25.480 just like a photo of her plate. But you know what, 0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:27.959 I realized what and I think we need to come 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:32.400 to consensus as a family here no more Zoom interviews. 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.600 I did J podcast last week and it was such 0:10:38.800 --> 0:10:42.600 a great conversation, Like it was so fun and it 0:10:42.679 --> 0:10:45.640 was so great, and I was like, you get and 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:47.520 we'd just done K t L A like we did 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:49.880 K in the morning and then we did JS podcast 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.720 after and KTL was on Zoom and it was just 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:56.600 it's just such a different energy. It's completely different vibe. 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:59.600 And I was like, you know what, we should have 0:10:59.679 --> 0:11:03.000 all of our podcast guests be in studio. It is 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:07.720 totally different. So here's are your thoughts. Well, I'm one 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.400 thousand percent on the same page as you. I think 0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:14.400 having face to face time and in person connection you 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:16.920 can't match that over a screen. It's just the facts, 0:11:16.920 --> 0:11:19.120 Like even our energy with the four of us when 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:22.640 we're not marked today, but um like typically when we're 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:25.120 all in the room together, it's been a different energy 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:30.000 for the podcast. So I feel like, here's a butt 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:35.400 coming here. There's however, Okay, if we have a guess 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:38.640 that we are like shooting for the stars for Patrick 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:42.360 Dempsey in studio, but if he is in Maine, Okay, 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:44.480 let's say he's in Maine and he's willing to do it, 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:47.240 but he's in Maine. We go to Maine. What are 0:11:47.280 --> 0:12:00.720 you talking about, like Mark Wahlberg, Yeah, we went exactly that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:03.439 we went to like where elseo we go? We went 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:08.040 to San Francisco for the what team was that Giants? Yeah, 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:10.440 we can go to Maine for Patrick Dempsey. Okay, so 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:14.360 you're saying we only do interviews in person no matter 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.920 what the scenario is, and we say, I'm just floating 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:20.040 it to the team. I'm just I'm with you a 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:22.640 thousand percent. I am so tired of Zoom interviews as 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:26.720 a producer, but also as a podcast listener. Yes, as 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:30.200 my dog listen to podcast and I hear a guests 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:33.000 coming on and they're on Zoom a little bit of spirit, 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:37.800 it's not as exciting. So I'm with you a thousand percent. 0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:40.000 We need to get all of our producers on board. 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:44.880 But I'm with you, I'm with you. I'm one percent 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:50.800 in tune with you and what you're saying. So I 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:54.640 think that's just a conversation we have within internal and 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.839 internal combo with the team. Yeah, because you know, like, 0:12:57.880 --> 0:12:59.679 let's think about who do we have last week Candice 0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:02.160 Killing She lives in Nashville. We may have had to 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:04.520 wait on her a bit when she came to l A, right, 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:09.040 but it would have been worth it totally. I agree. 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:10.800 I think maybe if there's a guess that we really 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:13.160 want and there's someone who could potentially come to l A. 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:15.600 We floated to, hey, will you be in l A 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.080 anytime soon? Yes? Would you like to? And I'm fine 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:20.360 doing multiple interviews in a day if we need to have. 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:21.840 We used to do it all the time where we 0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:28.520 have to guess yeah, just confirming with correct and head nods. 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:32.120 She's okay, cool, I'm down. I like it. That's cool. 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:36.359 That is cool, that is cool, and that is forward. 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:40.079 We are not in the COVID era anymore. Actually, I 0:13:40.160 --> 0:13:42.800 want to shout out a little bit still. I mean, 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:47.880 it's around, but I did um. We had a scrubbing 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.120 and listener DM me and she said that she spent 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:52.480 the last six months like binging the entire podcast from 0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:54.240 the beginning, and so I did like a little what 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:57.200 is R and D research with her and I was 0:13:57.240 --> 0:13:59.480 asking her questions like what was your favorite part, what 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:02.520 are your favorite episodes? Which era did you not like 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:08.160 And she said the COVID quarantine era, but everything was 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:10.960 on zoom. Yeah, no one liked that era. Like that 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:16.480 was a tough time forever the zoom. The zoom has 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:20.400 lingered on from the COVID era, and the zoom cannot 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:23.960 linger anymore. We need to put a hard stop now. 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:26.720 I was gonna say, um a cough, drop in our 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:31.240 mouth and cure boy. If I had to guess a 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:36.600 thousand words, not even made the list. I was like, 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:40.520 I thought I had a brain like glitch and I 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:44.040 had missed half of the sentence. I literally was questioning 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:47.280 myself like I was like, drop, I'm on a weird 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:49.800 energy right now because I don't think I slept well 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:53.160 last night because I'm like excited and all the anticipation 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:57.160 of the week. So I think I'm a little like tired. 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:58.960 But I have been to a lot of adrenaline. I 0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:03.480 also didn't sleep we all because we had I had, 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:06.600 I woke up. I'm in a depressive stay right now. Okay, 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:11.720 so yesterday I think I was doing I should read 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:14.800 my book, an Instagram live or something. This is a 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:17.440 different depressive so you'll understand. I think I was doing 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:20.000 Instagram live and I'm gonna text. Yeah. I got a 0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:22.400 text and it kind of opened and it was John 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:27.520 Danielle's husband, and I, because I had seen it opened, 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:29.800 I didn't read the text, but then it wasn't like 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:33.480 not a notification anymore. So I kind of forgot about 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:37.120 it because I kept doing the live. So this morning 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:39.320 I wake up and I'm like, just going through my 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.640 text froom yesterday and I read his text and he's like, Hey, 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:45.920 I know it's last minute, but um, tonight is Harry 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:48.080 Styles last night at the Forum. Um, if you and 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:49.880 Haley want to go, I have two tickets. I'll take 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:56.400 care of your parking. Oh my heart sank. You don't understand. 0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:59.800 I have been and last night was his best outfit 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:02.280 of the whole. Then I texted on and I'm like, 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:06.240 I cannot believe I missed this text message, Like I 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:07.680 I'm going to be thinking about this for a very 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:09.720 long time. And he's like, oh, it's okay, like he'll 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:13.840 be back at some point, and I'm like and so 0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:15.880 then I go on TikTok and see his outfit and 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:17.800 I'm like, I just saw his outfit and I've gone 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:21.520 into a deep, dark, depressive state. He just didn't like 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:24.480 laughing about cheese. I wonder who those tickets went to. 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:28.120 I hope they enjoyed it, whoever it was. But um, 0:16:28.280 --> 0:16:30.120 I was gonna say, as we had like a game 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:33.840 night last night, and I don't know what I ate. 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:39.120 It was either chicken or charcuterie. Is that it char charcuterie? 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:43.160 Is it called cured meat? It grosses me out saying okay, 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:46.720 like salamis and delicious. I know, But I got so 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:49.080 sick from something last night. I was like fighting, throwing 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:52.040 up all night. So I slept horribly. Um. And so 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:53.880 I think I'm off meat for a minute, because that's 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:55.880 what I have to do. I have to give myself 0:16:55.920 --> 0:17:02.520 a break. So I'm vegetarian for so much. But welcome 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:06.320 to the vegetarian club, thank you so much, just until 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:10.040 I recover. Um. So that's a little bit about me 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:15.280 and when I went through the past twenty four hours. Okay. Um. Also, 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:19.280 I had a moment this weekend where I really got 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:21.760 in tune with my feelings and my emotions. Oh yeah, 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:23.920 I wanted to talk about it because are you okay? 0:17:24.160 --> 0:17:25.920 I'm fine, But we're gonna take a break and we'll 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:28.000 be back we'll talk about it when we come back 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:48.639 from this break. All right, we're back. So before the break, 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:52.000 we're talking about being in touch with your emotions. Tanya 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:54.399 has really been checking in. She feels like I'm unwell. 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:57.719 I don't really feel unwell because Becca is like posting 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:01.680 stuff on Instagram about journaling in her face hitting the sun, 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:05.359 and I was like, are you good right now? You know? 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:10.520 I think that I feel What do we say? I 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:15.280 don't feel like I'm a mojo? Remember how you still like? Okay, 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:18.640 So I think I've lost your mojo, lost some mojo 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:24.280 and I feel it. It's like sometimes I feel like 0:18:24.320 --> 0:18:26.200 I have things that I need to share with someone, 0:18:26.240 --> 0:18:28.720 but I'm always like, oh, what if I don't even 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:30.840 know what reaction I want from someone if I were 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:32.760 to tell like a person like a friend or someone. 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:35.600 So I just hold it inside because I'm like, well, 0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:38.960 I can't be disappointed in a reaction that I don't 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:41.840 even know what I'm expecting if I don't tell anybody. 0:18:42.520 --> 0:18:45.240 Going deep, No, I'm just saying like, if you don't 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:47.639 tell anyone, then you're not gonna get about You're just 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:50.919 like yeah, I'm fine, Like okay, yeah, Because I'm like whatever, 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:54.000 I'm just processing in my mind. But then I was. 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:57.760 I went to the park and I got my favorite sandwich, 0:18:58.040 --> 0:18:59.879 went to the park and I brought my journal with 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:03.600 Haley's always Haley loves journaling, like she journals almost every night. 0:19:04.000 --> 0:19:05.640 She's always like, you should just write your thoughts down. 0:19:05.680 --> 0:19:07.200 It feels so good to just like get it out 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:09.200 and write it down on paper. I'm always like, no, 0:19:09.320 --> 0:19:12.520 I'm good, I don't want to. But I did it, 0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:15.119 and I felt so much better. And I realized this 0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:19.520 because there's no reaction. You're just getting out the thoughts, 0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:23.000 but you don't have to worry or expect a reaction 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:26.359 from anyone. And I felt so much better. I literally 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:29.000 felt like my headspace was like clear. So do you 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:31.280 want to share what you wrote in that journal? Well, 0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:36.000 I just wrote down like things that like things that 0:19:36.280 --> 0:19:38.280 I want to work on as a person, in like 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:41.400 as an individual and in a relationship, and then work 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:47.240 like dreams. Um. I think just being like like feeling 0:19:47.320 --> 0:19:51.240 secure in a relationship because I've always felt secure because 0:19:51.240 --> 0:19:55.080 I've always felt like I kind of had the I 0:19:55.200 --> 0:19:59.240 think when you're not in love, you feel secure, right, yeah, 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:00.879 like you have the upper hand. Yeah, like when you 0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:03.960 give your heart to under a relationship or to a person, 0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:07.720 you kind of lose some of that like control or 0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:11.280 power because you're I mean, you just have to trust 0:20:11.320 --> 0:20:13.600 that they're going to take care of it, right. So 0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:19.000 I think, Um, with Hailey, you know, she's like about 0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:20.600 to go on tour and like she's gonna be really 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:22.359 busy for the next few months. I get like really 0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:23.920 in my head and I have this voice it's like 0:20:25.000 --> 0:20:27.639 you got to protect yourself, and it's like she's not 0:20:27.840 --> 0:20:33.320 she's she's just leaving Physically, She's very communicative, she's great 0:20:33.840 --> 0:20:35.560 when when she's on tour, like she has a really 0:20:35.600 --> 0:20:37.920 good job. But I think I get my head where 0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:40.080 I'm like, you're you don't have control over this situation, 0:20:40.720 --> 0:20:43.679 so you don't really have control over any situation, over anything. 0:20:44.160 --> 0:20:46.080 So I think I was just writing those thoughts still, 0:20:46.280 --> 0:20:48.359 you know, you don't have to have control over everything 0:20:48.440 --> 0:20:54.000 to just like be secure preach sister. But yeah, I 0:20:54.080 --> 0:20:56.920 think the best way to tie it into the podcast 0:20:57.040 --> 0:20:59.879 is I feel like I've lost my mojo, but I 0:21:00.000 --> 0:21:02.919 get it back. I think I just kind of felt like, blah, blah, 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:06.239 I hate that blah, feeling Amy Sugarman. I remember one 0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:08.040 time we were walking and she called it the feeling, 0:21:08.400 --> 0:21:10.960 and I was like, that's a perfect description, because I 0:21:12.560 --> 0:21:15.080 hate the feeling. And you can't escape the feeling. You 0:21:15.160 --> 0:21:16.879 just have to sit with the feeling and try to 0:21:17.000 --> 0:21:20.320 do things that make you feel better forget the feeling. 0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:23.680 Uh yeah, I just feel distracted from the feelings. But 0:21:23.800 --> 0:21:25.399 you know, sometimes it's going to just sit in it. 0:21:26.520 --> 0:21:28.040 I think I've done a lot of sitting in it, 0:21:28.240 --> 0:21:30.720 and I was ready to like not be sitting in anymore. 0:21:30.960 --> 0:21:34.720 You know what I found this weekend? Yeah, your love word. 0:21:34.840 --> 0:21:38.320 Oh yeah, yeah, I found that obviously, But um, I 0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:40.480 for some reason, I couldn't remember when I did the 0:21:40.640 --> 0:21:44.240 calling in the one work book. Oh yeah, so you 0:21:44.359 --> 0:21:46.639 have a physical book, but all the journaling and all 0:21:46.640 --> 0:21:48.879 the homework and stuff. I didn't like a separate journal. 0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:52.159 And I haven't been able to find the journal. And 0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:54.639 this weekend when Rob and I were going through my apartment, 0:21:54.720 --> 0:21:58.840 like we were going through every bin, everything and like whatever, 0:21:59.680 --> 0:22:03.040 and I found my, uh my journal that I did 0:22:03.119 --> 0:22:05.600 all that work in. Please let me read, I know 0:22:05.880 --> 0:22:08.879 I was thinking about. I didn't go through it. I 0:22:08.920 --> 0:22:11.359 didn't read it. Or anything, because time was of the essence. 0:22:11.840 --> 0:22:13.919 But I know exactly where it is now in my apartments, 0:22:13.920 --> 0:22:15.920 in this bin, and there's not much in there anymore, 0:22:16.840 --> 0:22:18.920 and I feel like I should grab it and take 0:22:18.960 --> 0:22:21.000 some photos and maybe like read a little bit of it. 0:22:21.800 --> 0:22:24.560 Can we do a second where you read excerpts, because 0:22:24.680 --> 0:22:27.280 I want to compare, like a little bit, like what 0:22:27.560 --> 0:22:30.480 was I like, what kind of mindset was I in 0:22:30.560 --> 0:22:37.720 at that time? Manic manically searching for the one? Yeah, 0:22:37.920 --> 0:22:39.800 like I don't know, I have no idea what to 0:22:40.119 --> 0:22:42.840 expect reading back that stuff. No, I feel I would 0:22:42.880 --> 0:22:45.480 just like to hear you read it where it was 0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:50.800 kind of like seeing what came to fruition now. Yeah, 0:22:51.600 --> 0:22:54.760 I'd be so curious to know. I have a question. 0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:58.800 Do you still write in your Dear Future Husband? I 0:22:58.880 --> 0:23:01.879 haven't written it and a very long time because that 0:23:02.040 --> 0:23:04.320 journal is also at my apartment, which I am not 0:23:04.560 --> 0:23:07.680 at much. So the answer to your question is no, 0:23:09.080 --> 0:23:11.399 I'm not. But I'm not like antie it. I just 0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:13.720 it's not near me, so I'm not thinking about it 0:23:13.760 --> 0:23:15.359 and I'm not like going on bad dates. You know, 0:23:15.760 --> 0:23:18.200 when did you When did you stop writing in that? 0:23:18.560 --> 0:23:23.200 I'd say probably maybe a year into dating Robbie. Okay, 0:23:23.240 --> 0:23:28.320 I'd like some excerpts from that too, please. I found 0:23:28.520 --> 0:23:31.080 like the I found that the our first night that 0:23:31.240 --> 0:23:33.639 we uh that we met, and I took a picture 0:23:33.680 --> 0:23:37.240 of it because it was like, I met this guy 0:23:37.800 --> 0:23:39.600 and I didn't want to go on the date, but 0:23:39.760 --> 0:23:47.720 Sierra said I had too, so you went. We do 0:23:47.840 --> 0:23:51.000 have Sierrara think, Yeah, it is crazy, you know when 0:23:51.040 --> 0:23:53.560 I think when you think about it, like we all 0:23:53.600 --> 0:23:56.920 started off as strangers. And I've been really in this 0:23:57.119 --> 0:23:59.720 process of trying to be um grateful for the season 0:23:59.760 --> 0:24:02.960 of why that I'm in because I'm always so rushing 0:24:03.040 --> 0:24:05.040 and ready to get to the next season of my life, 0:24:05.560 --> 0:24:07.240 and so I've been like really just like focused on 0:24:07.359 --> 0:24:10.359 that theme right now. And I'm like, it's so crazy 0:24:10.440 --> 0:24:13.359 because I vividly remember the night that I met Robbie. 0:24:13.520 --> 0:24:15.359 Did I ever in a million years think that this 0:24:15.520 --> 0:24:19.160 dude unhinge was going to be the love of my life? 0:24:19.240 --> 0:24:22.239 Like no, and then just you meet him and then 0:24:22.280 --> 0:24:25.360 it's like boof, and everybody always says, you know, like, um, 0:24:25.720 --> 0:24:28.440 I always I feel like at that time I was 0:24:28.480 --> 0:24:30.520 doing a lot of work stuff. It was people's choice Awards, 0:24:30.520 --> 0:24:31.879 and I was going to New York and back and 0:24:31.880 --> 0:24:33.040 I was like, you know what, I don't have time, 0:24:33.080 --> 0:24:34.880 and then it's the holidays and don't I can't date 0:24:35.000 --> 0:24:36.240 right now. So I was going to start back on 0:24:36.320 --> 0:24:39.240 the apps in January. This is your sign if you're 0:24:39.240 --> 0:24:40.919 listening to this and you're saying, I just gotta wait 0:24:41.040 --> 0:24:48.360 till I finish this big project. Wait not wait not Well, 0:24:48.440 --> 0:24:50.640 I think you can always find an excuse to put 0:24:50.720 --> 0:24:53.240 things off for other things you have going on, because 0:24:53.359 --> 0:24:55.440 like putting yourself out there to date is kind of 0:24:55.520 --> 0:24:58.840 a vulnerable, scary thing for I think a lot of people, 0:24:58.960 --> 0:25:01.520 most people, So you can always make an excuse like 0:25:01.560 --> 0:25:03.119 I have too much going on for work, I have 0:25:03.240 --> 0:25:05.920 too much things going on to like put my time 0:25:05.960 --> 0:25:09.800 and energy into this. But I just gotta do it. Yeah, 0:25:09.960 --> 0:25:12.399 because like around Thanksgiving, it's like Thanksgiving and then the 0:25:12.480 --> 0:25:14.720 holidays and the New Year, so it's kind of then 0:25:14.880 --> 0:25:20.600 what Valentine's Day, St Patrick's Day, Tony's favorite, So there's 0:25:20.640 --> 0:25:22.639 never really a good time. So this is just the 0:25:22.720 --> 0:25:26.760 sign if anybody's out there, go for it. Take the 0:25:26.840 --> 0:25:31.200 cough drop, take the cough drop. Wait not wait, not wait, 0:25:31.359 --> 0:25:34.280 not Haley and I have watched started watching Chris this 0:25:34.400 --> 0:25:36.879 season of The Bachelor Crystals, the one that I was like, 0:25:37.080 --> 0:25:41.440 oh wow. We watched the first episode, like the Limo entrances, 0:25:42.240 --> 0:25:46.960 and it is just crazy, Like even seeing myself, I 0:25:47.080 --> 0:25:50.359 was like, who is that Robbie and I we are 0:25:50.400 --> 0:25:56.400 you watching? Who? Amazon? Amazon? Prime Video? Yeah? Prime video? Okay, okay, 0:25:56.400 --> 0:26:00.600 should we watch it too? Yeah? That's fun. I'm not 0:26:00.720 --> 0:26:02.840 really into anything right now. We finished Bad Sisters and 0:26:02.920 --> 0:26:05.120 we're back, we're dabbling back into the recruit, but I'm 0:26:05.160 --> 0:26:08.320 not you know, well, it was interesting because Haley was like, 0:26:09.119 --> 0:26:11.280 I feel like I don't know that, Like I remember 0:26:11.359 --> 0:26:13.440 she was like I remember watching this and thinking you 0:26:13.520 --> 0:26:15.920 were like like that you popped off the screen, Like 0:26:16.000 --> 0:26:18.680 I remember thinking that, But I just didn't know her, 0:26:18.800 --> 0:26:20.760 and like, even watching it now, I just feel like 0:26:21.440 --> 0:26:26.080 she just seems so like young and shy. You Yeah, 0:26:26.440 --> 0:26:27.880 And I was like, well I think that was kind 0:26:27.920 --> 0:26:31.800 of like the edit I got anyway, So yeah, um, 0:26:32.800 --> 0:26:35.119 but yeah, that should be interesting. Nothing happened in that 0:26:35.200 --> 0:26:37.000 first episode, like we didn't kiss or anything, so we'll 0:26:37.000 --> 0:26:39.880 see how that goes. Yeah, we'll watch it. That's fun. Yeah, 0:26:40.040 --> 0:26:44.600 that's fun. Yeah, whenever. Yeah, so we're gonna we'll see 0:26:44.600 --> 0:26:49.119 how consistent we are with that. But oh wow, the 0:26:49.240 --> 0:26:51.840 drama of him looking at the road. But you know, 0:26:52.800 --> 0:26:56.320 like ever since the seasons I was on, we we've 0:26:56.359 --> 0:26:58.320 watched The Bachelor. Like Haley and I we watched The 0:26:58.320 --> 0:27:01.119 Bachelor watching this season. We weren't going to because we 0:27:01.119 --> 0:27:02.800 didn't really have any interest, but we watched it the 0:27:02.840 --> 0:27:04.800 other night and we were like, it's good. I'm fine 0:27:04.840 --> 0:27:08.760 with it. Like Chris was such a great Bachelor, like 0:27:09.000 --> 0:27:11.919 taking me out of Like the show just felt different. 0:27:12.119 --> 0:27:14.480 I guess that's what it is. Like the show felt different. 0:27:16.280 --> 0:27:18.200 I haven't watched a single second of his season, but 0:27:18.240 --> 0:27:19.920 I met him a couple of times. He's always been cool. 0:27:20.040 --> 0:27:23.080 I don't know, he's just well, I don't know. Even 0:27:23.160 --> 0:27:24.680 Haley was saying, she was like, I feel like he's 0:27:24.720 --> 0:27:27.880 just very himself, Like he doesn't feel like he's trying 0:27:27.920 --> 0:27:31.560 to be the Bachelor. And every time we were watching, 0:27:31.640 --> 0:27:34.080 like the Limo entrances, and he looked at every girl 0:27:34.119 --> 0:27:36.960 in the eye and was like so personal and genuine, 0:27:37.040 --> 0:27:39.399 there wasn't that, Like I don't know, there was just 0:27:39.480 --> 0:27:43.080 something different about how it is now. Interesting um, we're 0:27:43.080 --> 0:27:47.440 going to watch that. Maybe not tonight because of the one, 0:27:47.600 --> 0:27:50.520 so I could do it tomor night. Okay, should this 0:27:50.600 --> 0:27:52.639 be an assignment for the scrubbers? Maybe they should. As 0:27:54.840 --> 0:27:57.280 you have to buy it though, I feel you have 0:27:57.359 --> 0:27:59.640 to buy it because I was trying to do I think, 0:27:59.720 --> 0:28:02.280 like TikTok, this is like forever ago, and I think 0:28:02.320 --> 0:28:03.720 I just was like, oh, you can buy the season. 0:28:03.800 --> 0:28:05.040 So I just bought it. But I don't know if 0:28:05.040 --> 0:28:11.639 people cared that much by it. I'll and I have 0:28:11.680 --> 0:28:15.040 the same birthday. I just want to do Remember six, 0:28:15.119 --> 0:28:16.800 he's six years older than me, but we have the 0:28:16.840 --> 0:28:20.120 same birthday. Are you a scorpioio? I didn't even realize. 0:28:20.119 --> 0:28:23.119 I didn't really know anything about zodiac signs, so I 0:28:23.160 --> 0:28:26.360 didn't even know that dogs a scorpio. I mean she's 0:28:26.359 --> 0:28:29.600 a water sign. Yeah. Can you relax? You got two 0:28:29.640 --> 0:28:32.840 scorpios sitting right here. Scorpios and I are good good Matt, 0:28:32.960 --> 0:28:35.320 like good friends. Yeah, that's why I am Sunny connect 0:28:35.520 --> 0:28:40.960 Sunny doesn't seem scorpio vibes. Yes, she is. She seems 0:28:40.960 --> 0:28:43.120 like a leo. She gives you no, she's like, gives 0:28:43.120 --> 0:28:45.280 you no attention. She tries to make you want her. 0:28:45.800 --> 0:28:49.479 She's very Scorpia. We really can apply the zodiac traits 0:28:49.600 --> 0:28:52.280 to animals too. You can do whatever you want. That 0:28:52.560 --> 0:28:55.800 as humanity, we're accepting that we can do whatever we want. Yeah, 0:28:56.680 --> 0:28:58.640 this is my world. You're just visiting in. You know. 0:29:00.280 --> 0:29:04.280 I think Phoebe's a Virgo. I don't know much about virgo's. 0:29:04.440 --> 0:29:08.800 I don't really they're very organized. If you've never seen 0:29:08.840 --> 0:29:12.840 Phoebe Tillie eat dinner, let me tell you. She's come 0:29:12.880 --> 0:29:14.920 over and she's had some of Sunday's dinner before, and 0:29:15.000 --> 0:29:17.800 she's not a fan of carrots any vegetables. She takes 0:29:17.840 --> 0:29:20.880 it out. Okay, my dog's food is mashed up like 0:29:20.960 --> 0:29:24.560 it looks like if you took mashed potatoes and everything 0:29:24.640 --> 0:29:26.480 and literally cut it up into very tiny pieces and 0:29:26.560 --> 0:29:29.640 mashed all together, like it literally just a giant mashed potato. 0:29:30.200 --> 0:29:33.480 Phoebe Tilli eats Sunday's food and you will see a 0:29:33.560 --> 0:29:36.760 little pile of carrots that she has taken out of 0:29:36.840 --> 0:29:39.120 the food and put on the floor next to the bowl. 0:29:39.240 --> 0:29:41.520 And I'm like, that is some skill that she can 0:29:41.680 --> 0:29:44.920 even get the carrots away from the rest of the meal, 0:29:45.040 --> 0:29:50.000 Like that is skill. Isn't that the most me thing 0:29:50.160 --> 0:29:52.040 that she takes out the veget She did it with 0:29:52.160 --> 0:29:54.320 her food, with the celery, she just puts it off 0:29:54.360 --> 0:29:57.520 to the side. So it's so funny because when my 0:29:57.640 --> 0:30:00.720 dog eats, she just it's like she inhales it. There's 0:30:00.760 --> 0:30:02.560 not I don't even think she realized what she's doing. 0:30:02.600 --> 0:30:05.040 It's like she just drop the hungry girl. Don't she 0:30:05.160 --> 0:30:10.200 might be underfed? We're not sure. Um, I don't know. 0:30:10.880 --> 0:30:12.400 I think we need to take a break and then 0:30:12.560 --> 0:30:16.400 come back with emails. Does that feel Does that feel right? Yeah? 0:30:34.480 --> 0:30:37.480 During the break, Tanya has discovered that the Jonas brothers 0:30:37.520 --> 0:30:40.400 have been giving their Hollywood star on the Walkome Walk 0:30:40.440 --> 0:30:43.560 of Fame. Congratulations to the Joe bros. They finally got 0:30:43.680 --> 0:30:47.200 their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. But I mean, 0:30:47.200 --> 0:30:49.200 we're doing this in real time, and the speeches are 0:30:49.240 --> 0:30:50.960 going on and I can't seem to find on the 0:30:51.040 --> 0:30:53.920 internet who gave their speeches. And but you don't feel 0:30:53.960 --> 0:30:56.240 happy that you weren't included. I mean, I feel like 0:30:56.400 --> 0:30:59.320 that was an oversight. You know, maybe they were like, 0:30:59.400 --> 0:31:03.840 she's got a lot going on. Oh yeah, yeah, it 0:31:03.920 --> 0:31:07.680 feels like a missed opportunity. You know, I agree. I 0:31:08.400 --> 0:31:11.080 that's a missed opportunity. Like me going to the Harry 0:31:11.120 --> 0:31:13.920 Styles concert was a missed opportunity. You know, I'll be 0:31:14.000 --> 0:31:17.320 thinking about for years to come. Congrats to you guys. 0:31:17.760 --> 0:31:24.040 Congrats Joe Bros. Kevin and Joe and Nick. That's them, 0:31:24.440 --> 0:31:31.240 the brothers Jonas. Moving on, Moving on to emails, Mark 0:31:31.600 --> 0:31:34.320 take it away, Well, thank you very much, Becca. This 0:31:34.480 --> 0:31:36.680 is from Patrese. She says, how do you know what 0:31:36.760 --> 0:31:39.600 It's time to tell the brutal, honest truth and move 0:31:39.720 --> 0:31:42.640 on from a friendship. Nicole and I have been friends 0:31:42.680 --> 0:31:44.280 for over twenty years. We've met his kids in the 0:31:44.360 --> 0:31:47.400 soccer field, grew up in school together. It became travel buddies, 0:31:47.480 --> 0:31:52.040 became roommates who slammed beers together. Throughout our twenties. Last 0:31:52.080 --> 0:31:53.880 three or four years, there has been a struggle as 0:31:53.920 --> 0:31:55.960 our lives have grown in opposite directions. We were in 0:31:56.000 --> 0:31:58.400 our early thirties. I have a great career, I got married. 0:31:58.400 --> 0:32:00.880 I'm looking to start a family. The coals bounced from 0:32:00.960 --> 0:32:03.080 job the job. She can't figure out her passion. She 0:32:03.160 --> 0:32:05.600 has had any luck in the love department. I've done 0:32:05.640 --> 0:32:07.600 everything I can to listen and be supportive and try 0:32:07.640 --> 0:32:09.440 to give advice. But she's going through these struggles and 0:32:09.480 --> 0:32:12.360 her depression and anxiety have taken over. It has become 0:32:12.400 --> 0:32:14.720 hard to spend time with her. As we're changing as people, 0:32:15.000 --> 0:32:17.280 She's become very opinionated. Are you ineditive? And I know 0:32:17.360 --> 0:32:19.760 it all. It's been frustrating to deal with over the years. 0:32:19.760 --> 0:32:21.160 I try to ignore it and let it go, but 0:32:21.240 --> 0:32:24.200 I found myself starting to argue back. One time, we 0:32:24.240 --> 0:32:27.200 even spent thirty minutes arguing about Taylor Swift, who I 0:32:27.280 --> 0:32:30.320 could care less about. Sorry, girls, just because I'm sick 0:32:30.360 --> 0:32:32.280 of her always thinking that it's her way or no way. 0:32:32.760 --> 0:32:34.960 I'm tired of feeling anxious about what she's gonna do 0:32:35.120 --> 0:32:37.400 or say next. What do I do? Do I tell 0:32:37.440 --> 0:32:39.120 her the truth of how I feel. How do you 0:32:39.160 --> 0:32:41.720 tell someone you don't like the personality? And is it 0:32:41.800 --> 0:32:46.120 time to let this friendship go? Well, it's not so 0:32:46.240 --> 0:32:50.360 much her personality, it's her character different. Well, I think 0:32:50.400 --> 0:32:52.840 real hard, But I also think when you're going through 0:32:52.880 --> 0:32:56.840 stuff like dealing with depression and anxiety, you're not yourself. 0:32:56.960 --> 0:32:59.280 Like I don't think that that's who she is because 0:32:59.320 --> 0:33:01.960 it sounds like the person that she is was someone 0:33:02.080 --> 0:33:05.600 that Patrice liked being around at one point. I think 0:33:05.640 --> 0:33:07.840 either way you're gonna lose, like you could lose this 0:33:07.960 --> 0:33:10.040 friendship because you're either going to lose it in a 0:33:10.120 --> 0:33:13.440 way that you quit responding and quit hanging out and 0:33:13.520 --> 0:33:18.760 it just eventually ends with maybe no closure because I 0:33:18.840 --> 0:33:22.760 think you're going to get tired of hearing and arguing 0:33:22.920 --> 0:33:26.160 and all the things that you listed. UM. And then 0:33:26.200 --> 0:33:29.080 the other option is that you have an honest conversation 0:33:29.160 --> 0:33:31.200 with her and say, I find I know that you're 0:33:31.200 --> 0:33:33.120 going through so much, and I'm trying to be supportive, 0:33:33.200 --> 0:33:36.080 but I feel like you're negative. I feel like you're argumentative. 0:33:36.120 --> 0:33:39.320 It's hard to want to spend my time and energy 0:33:40.080 --> 0:33:44.960 putting effort into this friendship when you know you're not 0:33:45.400 --> 0:33:48.840 um reciprocating or putting in the effort back. But she 0:33:49.120 --> 0:33:54.320 isn't saying she's not participating or reciprocating. She's saying everything's 0:33:54.320 --> 0:33:58.680 always her way or the highway, and she's like argumentative. Yeah, 0:33:58.720 --> 0:34:01.240 I would just say I feel like everything every time 0:34:01.280 --> 0:34:04.840 we talk it's an argument or it's only your opinion 0:34:04.960 --> 0:34:08.080 is the only one that matters. Doing it where you're 0:34:08.080 --> 0:34:11.480 not blaming her. You know, you can blame the relationship. 0:34:11.520 --> 0:34:14.200 You can say is it me or we arguing constantly lately, 0:34:14.239 --> 0:34:15.960 and maybe the other person is feeling it too, And 0:34:16.040 --> 0:34:18.279 maybe that's a starting off point where you're not saying 0:34:18.560 --> 0:34:21.239 you're argumentative, you're awful, I don't like being around you. 0:34:21.320 --> 0:34:23.439 We could say what's going on with us? I feel 0:34:23.480 --> 0:34:25.120 like we're arguing all the time. It's not like it 0:34:25.200 --> 0:34:27.120 used to be. What's happening? And maybe there's a that's 0:34:27.160 --> 0:34:30.959 a starting point to getting somewhere. That's great advice. Yeah, 0:34:31.120 --> 0:34:33.480 I definitely feel like you have to talk it out 0:34:33.760 --> 0:34:36.000 and kind of try and figure it out if you can, 0:34:37.080 --> 0:34:39.360 especially if you guys were so close. But also at 0:34:39.400 --> 0:34:43.400 the same time, I think that sometimes if stuff is going, 0:34:43.600 --> 0:34:46.280 if life is going not in like a positive direction 0:34:46.360 --> 0:34:49.719 for some people and it is with their friends, some 0:34:49.920 --> 0:34:52.839 people tend to react in a very negative, bad way, 0:34:53.160 --> 0:34:54.920 and I feel like that can really bring you down. 0:34:55.000 --> 0:34:57.160 And so maybe you don't break up with her, but 0:34:57.239 --> 0:34:59.400 maybe you distance yourself a little bit to to not 0:34:59.640 --> 0:35:03.719 let it kind of get in the way of you know, 0:35:03.840 --> 0:35:06.440 what's going on in your life, and give it a 0:35:06.480 --> 0:35:08.800 little distance, a little space and then come back and 0:35:09.000 --> 0:35:10.719 kind of have the conversation and just say, you know, 0:35:11.000 --> 0:35:13.320 we were getting things were getting really negative and and 0:35:13.840 --> 0:35:15.720 I want to just give it a little space before 0:35:15.800 --> 0:35:18.120 we communicated. So you're not giving up and breaking up 0:35:18.160 --> 0:35:20.920 with her, but you're just giving yourself a little distance. 0:35:21.800 --> 0:35:24.279 I also think sometimes people are in your life what's 0:35:24.320 --> 0:35:30.360 the quote for season or yeah, And I think sometimes 0:35:31.280 --> 0:35:35.200 we are evolving as people, like we hope to evolve 0:35:35.280 --> 0:35:39.000 as people, right like and grow and change, and sometimes 0:35:39.040 --> 0:35:42.279 it doesn't line up with the person who is in 0:35:42.400 --> 0:35:45.160 your life at that season where you all really connected. 0:35:45.200 --> 0:35:48.440 Sometimes you grow out of those friendships and relationships. So 0:35:49.840 --> 0:35:51.520 I don't know. I think if you're if you want 0:35:51.560 --> 0:35:53.320 to put an effort, I think you have a conversation 0:35:53.440 --> 0:35:55.279 like Mark said, and just say like, what's going on, 0:35:55.440 --> 0:35:58.520 Like this doesn't feel like our relationship and I feel 0:35:58.560 --> 0:36:00.960 like we're arguing a lot, and approach it more from 0:36:01.000 --> 0:36:05.000 a we standpoint, so that she might get defensive, but 0:36:05.040 --> 0:36:08.239 at least you're not saying like you you you, or 0:36:08.400 --> 0:36:11.320 you just say you know, I've grown, we've grown, and 0:36:11.400 --> 0:36:14.400 we're we've grown in different directions and that's okay, that's okay, 0:36:15.600 --> 0:36:19.000 you're going east, I'm going west. You're going north, I'm 0:36:19.000 --> 0:36:22.320 going south. But you know what, we're all going in 0:36:22.360 --> 0:36:25.440 a direction, as long as you're going in a direct, 0:36:25.480 --> 0:36:28.920 as you're going in a direction, all right. This is 0:36:28.960 --> 0:36:31.480 from an anonymous listener who says, I'm a long time listener, 0:36:31.520 --> 0:36:33.640 first time emailers, So I really hope you can read 0:36:33.719 --> 0:36:37.000 this email. My boyfriend of almost three years this proposing soon, 0:36:37.640 --> 0:36:40.440 and I'm worried because I think I know when I've 0:36:40.480 --> 0:36:42.000 told him. I wanted to be a surprise, but I 0:36:42.040 --> 0:36:43.880 think he's so excited. These kind of brought it up, 0:36:43.920 --> 0:36:46.239 but as slightly hinted as to when, at least I 0:36:46.280 --> 0:36:48.800 think that's what he was doing. Do I just forget 0:36:48.920 --> 0:36:51.040 the movie? Like ideal I had in my head that 0:36:51.080 --> 0:36:53.960 I would be shocked during my proposal? Will I still be? 0:36:54.160 --> 0:36:57.040 Since like I don't really know exactly what it's going 0:36:57.080 --> 0:36:59.640 to be. I feel like nowadays maybe that doesn't even 0:36:59.680 --> 0:37:02.880 happen that much. We're very open about getting married and engaged. 0:37:03.040 --> 0:37:05.879 I helped choose the ring. I love him so much 0:37:06.040 --> 0:37:07.839 and I want to be surprised, but I also don't 0:37:07.840 --> 0:37:09.920 want to let him down that I figured out when 0:37:09.960 --> 0:37:15.359 it will be m iem like a good problem to have. Yeah, 0:37:15.560 --> 0:37:19.720 the Champagne problems for everything's going just how you wanted 0:37:19.800 --> 0:37:23.080 to go itself. But I will say she she really 0:37:23.400 --> 0:37:26.480 hit on something that is, like, um, something that I've 0:37:26.520 --> 0:37:28.239 had to deal with a law in therapy, and that 0:37:28.440 --> 0:37:31.800 is getting rid of that fairy tale expectation that you 0:37:31.880 --> 0:37:34.200 have in your head of whatever it may be X 0:37:34.320 --> 0:37:38.400 y Z. Because I had that fairy tale expectation in 0:37:38.440 --> 0:37:41.600 my head for my whole life. You know, I thought 0:37:41.640 --> 0:37:43.279 there was going to be a prince charming on a 0:37:43.320 --> 0:37:44.920 white horse and he was gonna have the exact same 0:37:44.960 --> 0:37:46.719 slipper that was going to fit my foot, and like 0:37:48.200 --> 0:37:52.040 it was. It is this unrealistic expectation of how things 0:37:52.120 --> 0:37:55.040 should be in life. Just isn't that way, do you 0:37:55.080 --> 0:37:58.000 know what I mean? Life is not this unrealistic expectation 0:37:58.120 --> 0:38:01.000 movie fairy tale. It is in so many ways and 0:38:01.080 --> 0:38:04.200 it's bliss and it's amazing. But sometimes things life doesn't 0:38:04.239 --> 0:38:07.360 always turn out the way that you expect. And I 0:38:07.400 --> 0:38:10.000 think everybody in this room can agree to that in 0:38:10.640 --> 0:38:13.320 every way, shape or form, whether it's career, whether it's friendships, 0:38:13.360 --> 0:38:16.680 whether it's romantic relationships. You know, like They're all these 0:38:16.719 --> 0:38:18.759 expectations that we have that we put in ourselves that 0:38:18.880 --> 0:38:22.440 just are unrealistic, and so I think that coming to 0:38:22.640 --> 0:38:26.319 terms with that reality is so beneficial for your mental health. 0:38:26.600 --> 0:38:28.680 It's just like something that I wrapped my head around 0:38:28.719 --> 0:38:30.239 a while, like a year or two ago, and I 0:38:30.320 --> 0:38:33.759 was like, you know what, my journey and and it's 0:38:33.760 --> 0:38:35.600 going to be a little different than I had imagined 0:38:35.640 --> 0:38:38.200 for myself, but it's equally as amazing, and like the 0:38:38.320 --> 0:38:40.920 challenges make it that much better in the long run. 0:38:41.920 --> 0:38:46.040 So I'd say, just get rid of that expectation in 0:38:46.080 --> 0:38:49.760 your head. I think when the moment happens, it sounds 0:38:49.800 --> 0:38:52.640 like you've been anticipating it for a while. Now we've 0:38:52.640 --> 0:38:54.120 been helped to pick out the ring, you're going to 0:38:54.280 --> 0:38:57.239 just be so excited that you're engaged. And I'm in 0:38:57.280 --> 0:39:00.160 the same boat as you, girl. I think you're going to, like, 0:39:00.440 --> 0:39:03.880 I think all these things that you're like in your 0:39:03.920 --> 0:39:06.080 head about are going to totally fly out the window, 0:39:06.080 --> 0:39:07.759 and you're gonna be like, why did I even spend 0:39:08.000 --> 0:39:10.759 my energy or time worrying about this. You're in a 0:39:10.920 --> 0:39:15.200 really good place to pick out the beautiful ring you 0:39:15.280 --> 0:39:18.400 want with the man that you're like, even though I 0:39:18.480 --> 0:39:21.120 don't know exactly when it's coming, Like I don't I 0:39:21.160 --> 0:39:24.520 don't know how pinpointed the day or whatever, I feel 0:39:24.560 --> 0:39:28.719 like it is coming and I don't feel like it's 0:39:28.800 --> 0:39:31.279 ruined at all because I know that it's coming. Yeah, 0:39:31.360 --> 0:39:32.800 you're just like ready for it to get here, so 0:39:32.960 --> 0:39:36.160 ready for it. You know, nails are popping. She's ready 0:39:36.200 --> 0:39:38.560 at any moment, just ready, you know, just living in 0:39:38.640 --> 0:39:43.800 that state of ready. But already. I think, no matter what, 0:39:43.920 --> 0:39:45.440 even if you do, even if she knows it's going 0:39:45.520 --> 0:39:50.080 to happen Tuesday at seven pm on whatever, you're gonna 0:39:50.120 --> 0:39:55.919 be anxiously awaiting, being excited and like, yeah, it's gonna 0:39:55.920 --> 0:39:58.279 be gonna be fantastic. You'll pick out the ring. You 0:39:58.320 --> 0:40:01.080 weren't going to be that excited surprised in the first place. 0:40:01.160 --> 0:40:02.920 That's great, Just go with it, have a great time. 0:40:03.000 --> 0:40:05.400 It's okay. Yeah, at least you're gonna like the ring. 0:40:05.480 --> 0:40:08.200 I've talked to some friends who didn't necessarily like the 0:40:08.280 --> 0:40:10.279 ring that they got proposed to with, So at least 0:40:10.400 --> 0:40:12.719 you know you know what you're getting. At least you 0:40:12.760 --> 0:40:14.440 know what you're getting when you're getting it. When you're 0:40:14.480 --> 0:40:17.279 getting in. Oh, I was gonna ask you, this is 0:40:17.480 --> 0:40:21.160 following up from something else. Did you like Bad Sisters? Yes, 0:40:21.840 --> 0:40:23.600 it got a little snoozy in the middle, a little 0:40:23.600 --> 0:40:26.080 bit like there was like an episode two were like interesting, 0:40:26.440 --> 0:40:30.880 but I loved it the ending, Yes, unexpected. Is he 0:40:31.000 --> 0:40:33.600 not the most infuriating character that you've in the world? 0:40:34.320 --> 0:40:39.359 I cannot imagine has anyone else watched it? Very good, 0:40:39.560 --> 0:40:41.799 very recommend Before we go, I did want to send 0:40:41.840 --> 0:40:44.880 a big congratulations, a big scrubbing in congratulations to our 0:40:44.920 --> 0:40:53.320 OSCAR nominated Sophia Carson. So congrats to her. Congrats to 0:40:53.400 --> 0:41:00.359 her everyone. Tania's book, The Sunshine Mine comes out tomorrow. Um, 0:41:00.560 --> 0:41:05.360 we're so proud of you. She sent me some of 0:41:05.440 --> 0:41:10.400 her vision boards from over the years that predicted this moment. Now, 0:41:10.640 --> 0:41:13.680 some of them are a stretch, but one of them 0:41:13.800 --> 0:41:17.040 from so wait, you know what, that's three years ago now, 0:41:18.040 --> 0:41:21.799 It said New York Times bestselling author Tanya at right 0:41:21.840 --> 0:41:23.760 there on the vision board. You can't be any clearer 0:41:23.840 --> 0:41:25.879 than that. And here we go. I know. I sent 0:41:26.000 --> 0:41:30.280 him a couple of stretches because to share the stretches. 0:41:31.280 --> 0:41:34.880 One was Carrie Bradshaw was on her vision board and 0:41:35.000 --> 0:41:40.359 Terry Bradshaw is an author. Yes, okay, whatever, right here. 0:41:40.480 --> 0:41:45.080 One was the words sparkle and shine where it was 0:41:45.160 --> 0:41:47.760 on the vision board and it is the sunshine mind 0:41:49.440 --> 0:41:54.720 and seen the word light was on her vision board. 0:41:54.800 --> 0:41:59.239 So really that was a direct work in the work 0:41:59.280 --> 0:42:01.840 since twenties sixteen. You didn't know what it was, but 0:42:01.920 --> 0:42:05.080 you knew the feeling light, the sparkle, the shine was 0:42:05.160 --> 0:42:08.040 coming through Carrie Bradshaw Vibes, which is an author to 0:42:08.200 --> 0:42:10.759 the New York Times best selling book The Sunshine Mine. 0:42:10.800 --> 0:42:13.160 There we go, There we go. Yeah, those are some stretches, 0:42:13.280 --> 0:42:16.120 but I appreciate that per at least you had like 0:42:16.239 --> 0:42:20.480 a legit one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you. Um that's 0:42:20.520 --> 0:42:22.960 all for today, folks. We love you, We love you. 0:42:23.880 --> 0:42:26.120 A great week, and we'll be back next Monday.