Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Red and I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. Scrubbing In.
Speaker 1: Today is the eve of Tanya Is and Raquel is
Speaker 1: a book released, The Sunshine Mine. It's a day before
Speaker 1: Where are the zomies? Where? Oh yeah, yeah I love
Speaker 1: that Where Yeah. I was gonna ask, like, where's your head?
Speaker 1: I've never released a book, so I don't know what
Speaker 1: this is, what you're experiencing. My head isn't a million
Speaker 1: different places right now. So let me just preface this
Speaker 1: by saying, like this weekend, I wanted to do my normal,
Speaker 1: you know, like before big things. I want to work out,
Speaker 1: and I want to sleep and I want to go
Speaker 1: into a sauna and like do all that stuff. I
Speaker 1: did none of that this weekend, And well, you know,
Speaker 1: I look at it a sign of maturity because I
Speaker 1: did a deep dive cleansing of my apartment robbing and
Speaker 1: I went, oh, here she goes, You're gonna blow you away. Sorry,
Speaker 1: it's gone, okay, okay, um. We did like a deep
Speaker 1: dive deep clean of my apartment and like went in
Speaker 1: like and gutted everything, like went through my kitchen and
Speaker 1: all my clothes and like just really it was exhausted, everything,
Speaker 1: every room, everything. Yeah, the full weekend was dedicated to that.
Speaker 1: So but I feel very accomplished. So that what I'm
Speaker 1: saying now, going into this week with everything coming up,
Speaker 1: I feel excited. Um. I also feel a little bit
Speaker 1: nervous because everybody that's read the book so far has
Speaker 1: been a friend of mine, you know, Like, so even
Speaker 1: if they hate it, they're gonna be like, it's great.
Speaker 1: But now that it's out, what if somebody doesn't like
Speaker 1: it and then they message me and they're like, I
Speaker 1: don't like this, And then you say, I'm sorry, but
Speaker 1: thank you for supporting me, thank you for the twenty
Speaker 1: four nine. And I mean, you can't control how people
Speaker 1: perceive certain things. So if anything, it's like, hey, thank
Speaker 1: you for giving me a shot, and maybe you like
Speaker 1: the next one. Yeah, And it's a devotional it's not
Speaker 1: like it's a story and like they didn't like the
Speaker 1: story or they didn't like the ending or something. I
Speaker 1: think it's I think you've described very well what it
Speaker 1: is and people are gonna like it for what it is.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, I think. So I have I
Speaker 1: have high hopes that it's gonna and I truly feel
Speaker 1: like it's gonna do really big things for people that
Speaker 1: are struggling in different areas. So I'm excited about that.
Speaker 1: So like the excitedness over comes over Trump's over overpowers
Speaker 1: over powers any other feelings they are a little bit there.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think with anything, when you put your
Speaker 1: heart into something and it's vulnerable, there's always that of
Speaker 1: the voice in your head that's like, what what if
Speaker 1: the negative? You know? But um, I even in the group,
Speaker 1: there were people who were like, I'm not like just
Speaker 1: and I don't really have any interest to read the book.
Speaker 1: I want to read it could for someone like is
Speaker 1: there anyone? And I thought that is so cool because
Speaker 1: like even if maybe they don't resonate with it or
Speaker 1: have any interest in a devotional they want to support
Speaker 1: you and like do it for someone else, which is
Speaker 1: really special, I really really special. I saw that Haley
Speaker 1: goes this will be the first God book I've ever read.
Speaker 1: I literally was like, I wish I could have I
Speaker 1: wish she could have said that six months ago and
Speaker 1: I could slap it on as an endorsement for the book,
Speaker 1: because that is so freaking funny. Yeah, I was like, well,
Speaker 1: this will be great, a great start, I think, you know,
Speaker 1: you know Toni and Raquel and you know, um, so
Speaker 1: I thought that was cute and she was like she
Speaker 1: was like looking down at it, and she was like
Speaker 1: I said it so casually, and I was like what,
Speaker 1: Like I did I hear you right? Just like yeah,
Speaker 1: so good. You know, it's funny because Riquel is the
Speaker 1: perfect person to partner with because she really like, she
Speaker 1: knows the Bible, She's had a relationship, she grew up
Speaker 1: in church, so she this is this is like who
Speaker 1: she is at her core, and um, anytime I was struggling,
Speaker 1: especially at the beginning stages of my career, like if
Speaker 1: I was dealing with bullying or anything like that, I
Speaker 1: would always go go to her and she would come
Speaker 1: back with a scripture that would always make me feel
Speaker 1: at peace. So in a sense, the book is kind
Speaker 1: of like that, like my you know, she had stories too,
Speaker 1: but like storytelling, but also just kind of these verses
Speaker 1: that are going to make you feel encourage, encouraged and
Speaker 1: that peace hopefully. Yeah. Well, I your book signing is
Speaker 1: tonight at the Grove, So if I don't know when
Speaker 1: this is going to come out. But if it's out
Speaker 1: before then seven pm, seven pm at the Grove, Baby Grow.
Speaker 1: It's a big deal. Like I think sometimes, especially you,
Speaker 1: of all my friends, You're always doing such like crazy, big,
Speaker 1: like cool exciting things, so I almost feel sometimes I
Speaker 1: get jaded of like, oh, like you know, Tanya's hosting
Speaker 1: Harry's Style, you know, like I'm like, well, of course
Speaker 1: she is. But this one feels really cool because it's yours,
Speaker 1: it's mine, and it's a book, like I think so too.
Speaker 1: And I think because it's been so long in the making,
Speaker 1: you know, like I've been talking about I've been talking
Speaker 1: about and it's like here now, it just feels very weird.
Speaker 1: I know. So Robbie's coming, my parents are gonna come up,
Speaker 1: you all my friends are gonna be there, and they're
Speaker 1: just gonna stay the whole time. I kind of I
Speaker 1: don't really know people are going to show up, Like
Speaker 1: we'll just continue going around on the line, maybe bring
Speaker 1: some outfit changes, different hairstyles. Yeah. Um, well, it's very excited.
Speaker 1: I'm very proud of you, very excited for you. Thank you. Um.
Speaker 1: And then I'm getting my period later this week. High
Speaker 1: mother Nature can bring it back low, she'll humble you quick. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't get too high in mighty on the sunshine mind,
Speaker 1: because your period, aunt flow is coming to town. I
Speaker 1: think we're sinked. I think I'm going to also start
Speaker 1: my period this week. Nothing makes you happier. It makes
Speaker 1: me happier than that. I don't know how it happened either.
Speaker 1: I mean we've always been a couple of days off. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we might still be. My cycle is pretty strong. Twenty
Speaker 1: seven days okay, just right on the market. Right on
Speaker 1: the market. Yeah, mine's kind of like maybe a couple
Speaker 1: of days off here and there. Yeah, or twenty eight
Speaker 1: one of the two. Alright, Well, we'll see you. I mean,
Speaker 1: here's to hoping. Here's to hoping, even though you'll be
Speaker 1: gone on Good Morning America, A Good Morning America. I
Speaker 1: don't have a pre interview this week. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: can't believe I have a pre interview, meaning like the
Speaker 1: producers of Good Morning America. You're gonna call me any
Speaker 1: question that's like official, that's like a big deal. You
Speaker 1: only get pre interviews for like really big I know,
Speaker 1: very exciting. Oh my gosh. Right before we started the podcast,
Speaker 1: Tonya was like, what did you ask about Oh, she goes,
Speaker 1: I can't believe you were in the same room with
Speaker 1: Alex Earl and you didn't say hi. It seems so
Speaker 1: wrong because why because I'm obsessed with her. I we
Speaker 1: should have run the podcast, but I feel like we
Speaker 1: gotta get in, you know what I mean, Like we
Speaker 1: havent DM her. Well. She had said like she went
Speaker 1: through a breakup and kind of did like a live
Speaker 1: about it, and she was like, if I can go
Speaker 1: and call her daddy, I'll talk about the breakup. So
Speaker 1: I think her she's really shooting for the top. Girl.
Speaker 1: You know what Choice awards exactly, and you know what, mhm,
Speaker 1: there's plenty to go around. Why don't she have to
Speaker 1: limit herself to one podcast? I don't think she did.
Speaker 1: I think she was just saying, like, I'll talk about
Speaker 1: my breakup, and if I get to go and call
Speaker 1: her daddy, why not scrubbing in. It's a perfect place
Speaker 1: to talk about your breakup. We can put you back
Speaker 1: together again. Girl. I don't know she I don't know
Speaker 1: she knows about us. Well, if he would have gone
Speaker 1: up here at the party, she would have This is true.
Speaker 1: I think that I was thinking about that this morning.
Speaker 1: Like our podcast has been consistent for almost six years. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this year will be six years, you know what? Not
Speaker 1: a lot? How to like that? What again? Like that?
Speaker 1: Not a lot? Not a lot or like that? Right,
Speaker 1: Like we've had the longevity consistencies. We are the Quaker
Speaker 1: Oats of the podcast. Yeah, I don't know if that
Speaker 1: will draw people to us, but that's great, Twayne of
Speaker 1: podcasts keep going. Okay, I was just thinking, I see
Speaker 1: what these other podcasts do as far as like how
Speaker 1: they're always like looking to do new things to promote
Speaker 1: the podcast, whether it's like new really cute, like cool merch,
Speaker 1: like they're like cool, you know, like vibes, Yeah, their vibes.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I think we've got to really like
Speaker 1: increase our coolness because I feel like we're really like nice,
Speaker 1: but I don't know we're like cool. But I think
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna throw the out there, I'm not cool.
Speaker 1: You're the cool one, so you're gonna have to like, no,
Speaker 1: not cool, And like I don't think I don't know
Speaker 1: that anyone is cool with the air quotes, but I
Speaker 1: don't think they did. They're like doing cool things so
Speaker 1: like as a podcast because like into like you're you
Speaker 1: literally have a book coming out, like you're doing really
Speaker 1: cool things. But like as the podcast, it's like, how
Speaker 1: do we be nice and also elevating because I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to just be cool like I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to get people to think that we're
Speaker 1: like something We're not right, because that would be But
Speaker 1: it's like, how do we elevate our brand as a podcast,
Speaker 1: Like how do we have people wearing merg being on TikTok,
Speaker 1: posting our clips on TikTok, just things like that, I'm
Speaker 1: ready for it, I'm down. I'm just not cool myself.
Speaker 1: So I need your help on how to be cool.
Speaker 1: Like that green screen TikTok, I didn't that was all
Speaker 1: you and that was fire, absolute fire. It's just a
Speaker 1: last content over there. So that I was thinking about
Speaker 1: I've done on TikTok since I joined in twenty I
Speaker 1: think we need Hanna to like really help us because
Speaker 1: it was like really cool. Yeah I'm not. She's so
Speaker 1: cool and it's like effortless, Like she posts a photo
Speaker 1: of her meal and it like I'm like, how it's
Speaker 1: just like a photo of her plate. But you know what,
Speaker 1: I realized what and I think we need to come
Speaker 1: to consensus as a family here no more Zoom interviews.
Speaker 1: I did J podcast last week and it was such
Speaker 1: a great conversation, Like it was so fun and it
Speaker 1: was so great, and I was like, you get and
Speaker 1: we'd just done K t L A like we did
Speaker 1: K in the morning and then we did JS podcast
Speaker 1: after and KTL was on Zoom and it was just
Speaker 1: it's just such a different energy. It's completely different vibe.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, we should have
Speaker 1: all of our podcast guests be in studio. It is
Speaker 1: totally different. So here's are your thoughts. Well, I'm one
Speaker 1: thousand percent on the same page as you. I think
Speaker 1: having face to face time and in person connection you
Speaker 1: can't match that over a screen. It's just the facts,
Speaker 1: Like even our energy with the four of us when
Speaker 1: we're not marked today, but um like typically when we're
Speaker 1: all in the room together, it's been a different energy
Speaker 1: for the podcast. So I feel like, here's a butt
Speaker 1: coming here. There's however, Okay, if we have a guess
Speaker 1: that we are like shooting for the stars for Patrick
Speaker 1: Dempsey in studio, but if he is in Maine, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's say he's in Maine and he's willing to do it,
Speaker 1: but he's in Maine. We go to Maine. What are
Speaker 1: you talking about, like Mark Wahlberg, Yeah, we went exactly that. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we went to like where elseo we go? We went
Speaker 1: to San Francisco for the what team was that Giants? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we can go to Maine for Patrick Dempsey. Okay, so
Speaker 1: you're saying we only do interviews in person no matter
Speaker 1: what the scenario is, and we say, I'm just floating
Speaker 1: it to the team. I'm just I'm with you a
Speaker 1: thousand percent. I am so tired of Zoom interviews as
Speaker 1: a producer, but also as a podcast listener. Yes, as
Speaker 1: my dog listen to podcast and I hear a guests
Speaker 1: coming on and they're on Zoom a little bit of spirit,
Speaker 1: it's not as exciting. So I'm with you a thousand percent.
Speaker 1: We need to get all of our producers on board.
Speaker 1: But I'm with you, I'm with you. I'm one percent
Speaker 1: in tune with you and what you're saying. So I
Speaker 1: think that's just a conversation we have within internal and
Speaker 1: internal combo with the team. Yeah, because you know, like,
Speaker 1: let's think about who do we have last week Candice
Speaker 1: Killing She lives in Nashville. We may have had to
Speaker 1: wait on her a bit when she came to l A, right,
Speaker 1: but it would have been worth it totally. I agree.
Speaker 1: I think maybe if there's a guess that we really
Speaker 1: want and there's someone who could potentially come to l A.
Speaker 1: We floated to, hey, will you be in l A
Speaker 1: anytime soon? Yes? Would you like to? And I'm fine
Speaker 1: doing multiple interviews in a day if we need to have.
Speaker 1: We used to do it all the time where we
Speaker 1: have to guess yeah, just confirming with correct and head nods.
Speaker 1: She's okay, cool, I'm down. I like it. That's cool.
Speaker 1: That is cool, that is cool, and that is forward.
Speaker 1: We are not in the COVID era anymore. Actually, I
Speaker 1: want to shout out a little bit still. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's around, but I did um. We had a scrubbing
Speaker 1: and listener DM me and she said that she spent
Speaker 1: the last six months like binging the entire podcast from
Speaker 1: the beginning, and so I did like a little what
Speaker 1: is R and D research with her and I was
Speaker 1: asking her questions like what was your favorite part, what
Speaker 1: are your favorite episodes? Which era did you not like
Speaker 1: And she said the COVID quarantine era, but everything was
Speaker 1: on zoom. Yeah, no one liked that era. Like that
Speaker 1: was a tough time forever the zoom. The zoom has
Speaker 1: lingered on from the COVID era, and the zoom cannot
Speaker 1: linger anymore. We need to put a hard stop now.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, um a cough, drop in our
Speaker 1: mouth and cure boy. If I had to guess a
Speaker 1: thousand words, not even made the list. I was like,
Speaker 1: I thought I had a brain like glitch and I
Speaker 1: had missed half of the sentence. I literally was questioning
Speaker 1: myself like I was like, drop, I'm on a weird
Speaker 1: energy right now because I don't think I slept well
Speaker 1: last night because I'm like excited and all the anticipation
Speaker 1: of the week. So I think I'm a little like tired.
Speaker 1: But I have been to a lot of adrenaline. I
Speaker 1: also didn't sleep we all because we had I had,
Speaker 1: I woke up. I'm in a depressive stay right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: so yesterday I think I was doing I should read
Speaker 1: my book, an Instagram live or something. This is a
Speaker 1: different depressive so you'll understand. I think I was doing
Speaker 1: Instagram live and I'm gonna text. Yeah. I got a
Speaker 1: text and it kind of opened and it was John
Speaker 1: Danielle's husband, and I, because I had seen it opened,
Speaker 1: I didn't read the text, but then it wasn't like
Speaker 1: not a notification anymore. So I kind of forgot about
Speaker 1: it because I kept doing the live. So this morning
Speaker 1: I wake up and I'm like, just going through my
Speaker 1: text froom yesterday and I read his text and he's like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I know it's last minute, but um, tonight is Harry
Speaker 1: Styles last night at the Forum. Um, if you and
Speaker 1: Haley want to go, I have two tickets. I'll take
Speaker 1: care of your parking. Oh my heart sank. You don't understand.
Speaker 1: I have been and last night was his best outfit
Speaker 1: of the whole. Then I texted on and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I cannot believe I missed this text message, Like I
Speaker 1: I'm going to be thinking about this for a very
Speaker 1: long time. And he's like, oh, it's okay, like he'll
Speaker 1: be back at some point, and I'm like and so
Speaker 1: then I go on TikTok and see his outfit and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I just saw his outfit and I've gone
Speaker 1: into a deep, dark, depressive state. He just didn't like
Speaker 1: laughing about cheese. I wonder who those tickets went to.
Speaker 1: I hope they enjoyed it, whoever it was. But um,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, as we had like a game
Speaker 1: night last night, and I don't know what I ate.
Speaker 1: It was either chicken or charcuterie. Is that it char charcuterie?
Speaker 1: Is it called cured meat? It grosses me out saying okay,
Speaker 1: like salamis and delicious. I know, But I got so
Speaker 1: sick from something last night. I was like fighting, throwing
Speaker 1: up all night. So I slept horribly. Um. And so
Speaker 1: I think I'm off meat for a minute, because that's
Speaker 1: what I have to do. I have to give myself
Speaker 1: a break. So I'm vegetarian for so much. But welcome
Speaker 1: to the vegetarian club, thank you so much, just until
Speaker 1: I recover. Um. So that's a little bit about me
Speaker 1: and when I went through the past twenty four hours. Okay. Um. Also,
Speaker 1: I had a moment this weekend where I really got
Speaker 1: in tune with my feelings and my emotions. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about it because are you okay?
Speaker 1: I'm fine, But we're gonna take a break and we'll
Speaker 1: be back we'll talk about it when we come back
Speaker 1: from this break. All right, we're back. So before the break,
Speaker 1: we're talking about being in touch with your emotions. Tanya
Speaker 1: has really been checking in. She feels like I'm unwell.
Speaker 1: I don't really feel unwell because Becca is like posting
Speaker 1: stuff on Instagram about journaling in her face hitting the sun,
Speaker 1: and I was like, are you good right now? You know?
Speaker 1: I think that I feel What do we say? I
Speaker 1: don't feel like I'm a mojo? Remember how you still like? Okay,
Speaker 1: So I think I've lost your mojo, lost some mojo
Speaker 1: and I feel it. It's like sometimes I feel like
Speaker 1: I have things that I need to share with someone,
Speaker 1: but I'm always like, oh, what if I don't even
Speaker 1: know what reaction I want from someone if I were
Speaker 1: to tell like a person like a friend or someone.
Speaker 1: So I just hold it inside because I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I can't be disappointed in a reaction that I don't
Speaker 1: even know what I'm expecting if I don't tell anybody.
Speaker 1: Going deep, No, I'm just saying like, if you don't
Speaker 1: tell anyone, then you're not gonna get about You're just
Speaker 1: like yeah, I'm fine, Like okay, yeah, Because I'm like whatever,
Speaker 1: I'm just processing in my mind. But then I was.
Speaker 1: I went to the park and I got my favorite sandwich,
Speaker 1: went to the park and I brought my journal with
Speaker 1: Haley's always Haley loves journaling, like she journals almost every night.
Speaker 1: She's always like, you should just write your thoughts down.
Speaker 1: It feels so good to just like get it out
Speaker 1: and write it down on paper. I'm always like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm good, I don't want to. But I did it,
Speaker 1: and I felt so much better. And I realized this
Speaker 1: because there's no reaction. You're just getting out the thoughts,
Speaker 1: but you don't have to worry or expect a reaction
Speaker 1: from anyone. And I felt so much better. I literally
Speaker 1: felt like my headspace was like clear. So do you
Speaker 1: want to share what you wrote in that journal? Well,
Speaker 1: I just wrote down like things that like things that
Speaker 1: I want to work on as a person, in like
Speaker 1: as an individual and in a relationship, and then work
Speaker 1: like dreams. Um. I think just being like like feeling
Speaker 1: secure in a relationship because I've always felt secure because
Speaker 1: I've always felt like I kind of had the I
Speaker 1: think when you're not in love, you feel secure, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: like you have the upper hand. Yeah, like when you
Speaker 1: give your heart to under a relationship or to a person,
Speaker 1: you kind of lose some of that like control or
Speaker 1: power because you're I mean, you just have to trust
Speaker 1: that they're going to take care of it, right. So
Speaker 1: I think, Um, with Hailey, you know, she's like about
Speaker 1: to go on tour and like she's gonna be really
Speaker 1: busy for the next few months. I get like really
Speaker 1: in my head and I have this voice it's like
Speaker 1: you got to protect yourself, and it's like she's not
Speaker 1: she's she's just leaving Physically, She's very communicative, she's great
Speaker 1: when when she's on tour, like she has a really
Speaker 1: good job. But I think I get my head where
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're you don't have control over this situation,
Speaker 1: so you don't really have control over any situation, over anything.
Speaker 1: So I think I was just writing those thoughts still,
Speaker 1: you know, you don't have to have control over everything
Speaker 1: to just like be secure preach sister. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: think the best way to tie it into the podcast
Speaker 1: is I feel like I've lost my mojo, but I
Speaker 1: get it back. I think I just kind of felt like, blah, blah,
Speaker 1: I hate that blah, feeling Amy Sugarman. I remember one
Speaker 1: time we were walking and she called it the feeling,
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's a perfect description, because I
Speaker 1: hate the feeling. And you can't escape the feeling. You
Speaker 1: just have to sit with the feeling and try to
Speaker 1: do things that make you feel better forget the feeling.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I just feel distracted from the feelings. But
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes it's going to just sit in it.
Speaker 1: I think I've done a lot of sitting in it,
Speaker 1: and I was ready to like not be sitting in anymore.
Speaker 1: You know what I found this weekend? Yeah, your love word.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I found that obviously, But um, I
Speaker 1: for some reason, I couldn't remember when I did the
Speaker 1: calling in the one work book. Oh yeah, so you
Speaker 1: have a physical book, but all the journaling and all
Speaker 1: the homework and stuff. I didn't like a separate journal.
Speaker 1: And I haven't been able to find the journal. And
Speaker 1: this weekend when Rob and I were going through my apartment,
Speaker 1: like we were going through every bin, everything and like whatever,
Speaker 1: and I found my, uh my journal that I did
Speaker 1: all that work in. Please let me read, I know
Speaker 1: I was thinking about. I didn't go through it. I
Speaker 1: didn't read it. Or anything, because time was of the essence.
Speaker 1: But I know exactly where it is now in my apartments,
Speaker 1: in this bin, and there's not much in there anymore,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I should grab it and take
Speaker 1: some photos and maybe like read a little bit of it.
Speaker 1: Can we do a second where you read excerpts, because
Speaker 1: I want to compare, like a little bit, like what
Speaker 1: was I like, what kind of mindset was I in
Speaker 1: at that time? Manic manically searching for the one? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I don't know, I have no idea what to
Speaker 1: expect reading back that stuff. No, I feel I would
Speaker 1: just like to hear you read it where it was
Speaker 1: kind of like seeing what came to fruition now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd be so curious to know. I have a question.
Speaker 1: Do you still write in your Dear Future Husband? I
Speaker 1: haven't written it and a very long time because that
Speaker 1: journal is also at my apartment, which I am not
Speaker 1: at much. So the answer to your question is no,
Speaker 1: I'm not. But I'm not like antie it. I just
Speaker 1: it's not near me, so I'm not thinking about it
Speaker 1: and I'm not like going on bad dates. You know,
Speaker 1: when did you When did you stop writing in that?
Speaker 1: I'd say probably maybe a year into dating Robbie. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'd like some excerpts from that too, please. I found
Speaker 1: like the I found that the our first night that
Speaker 1: we uh that we met, and I took a picture
Speaker 1: of it because it was like, I met this guy
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to go on the date, but
Speaker 1: Sierra said I had too, so you went. We do
Speaker 1: have Sierrara think, Yeah, it is crazy, you know when
Speaker 1: I think when you think about it, like we all
Speaker 1: started off as strangers. And I've been really in this
Speaker 1: process of trying to be um grateful for the season
Speaker 1: of why that I'm in because I'm always so rushing
Speaker 1: and ready to get to the next season of my life,
Speaker 1: and so I've been like really just like focused on
Speaker 1: that theme right now. And I'm like, it's so crazy
Speaker 1: because I vividly remember the night that I met Robbie.
Speaker 1: Did I ever in a million years think that this
Speaker 1: dude unhinge was going to be the love of my life?
Speaker 1: Like no, and then just you meet him and then
Speaker 1: it's like boof, and everybody always says, you know, like, um,
Speaker 1: I always I feel like at that time I was
Speaker 1: doing a lot of work stuff. It was people's choice Awards,
Speaker 1: and I was going to New York and back and
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I don't have time,
Speaker 1: and then it's the holidays and don't I can't date
Speaker 1: right now. So I was going to start back on
Speaker 1: the apps in January. This is your sign if you're
Speaker 1: listening to this and you're saying, I just gotta wait
Speaker 1: till I finish this big project. Wait not wait not Well,
Speaker 1: I think you can always find an excuse to put
Speaker 1: things off for other things you have going on, because
Speaker 1: like putting yourself out there to date is kind of
Speaker 1: a vulnerable, scary thing for I think a lot of people,
Speaker 1: most people, So you can always make an excuse like
Speaker 1: I have too much going on for work, I have
Speaker 1: too much things going on to like put my time
Speaker 1: and energy into this. But I just gotta do it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because like around Thanksgiving, it's like Thanksgiving and then the
Speaker 1: holidays and the New Year, so it's kind of then
Speaker 1: what Valentine's Day, St Patrick's Day, Tony's favorite, So there's
Speaker 1: never really a good time. So this is just the
Speaker 1: sign if anybody's out there, go for it. Take the
Speaker 1: cough drop, take the cough drop. Wait not wait, not wait,
Speaker 1: not Haley and I have watched started watching Chris this
Speaker 1: season of The Bachelor Crystals, the one that I was like,
Speaker 1: oh wow. We watched the first episode, like the Limo entrances,
Speaker 1: and it is just crazy, Like even seeing myself, I
Speaker 1: was like, who is that Robbie and I we are
Speaker 1: you watching? Who? Amazon? Amazon? Prime Video? Yeah? Prime video? Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: should we watch it too? Yeah? That's fun. I'm not
Speaker 1: really into anything right now. We finished Bad Sisters and
Speaker 1: we're back, we're dabbling back into the recruit, but I'm
Speaker 1: not you know, well, it was interesting because Haley was like,
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't know that, Like I remember
Speaker 1: she was like I remember watching this and thinking you
Speaker 1: were like like that you popped off the screen, Like
Speaker 1: I remember thinking that, But I just didn't know her,
Speaker 1: and like, even watching it now, I just feel like
Speaker 1: she just seems so like young and shy. You Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I was like, well I think that was kind
Speaker 1: of like the edit I got anyway, So yeah, um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, that should be interesting. Nothing happened in that
Speaker 1: first episode, like we didn't kiss or anything, so we'll
Speaker 1: see how that goes. Yeah, we'll watch it. That's fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's fun. Yeah, whenever. Yeah, so we're gonna we'll see
Speaker 1: how consistent we are with that. But oh wow, the
Speaker 1: drama of him looking at the road. But you know,
Speaker 1: like ever since the seasons I was on, we we've
Speaker 1: watched The Bachelor. Like Haley and I we watched The
Speaker 1: Bachelor watching this season. We weren't going to because we
Speaker 1: didn't really have any interest, but we watched it the
Speaker 1: other night and we were like, it's good. I'm fine
Speaker 1: with it. Like Chris was such a great Bachelor, like
Speaker 1: taking me out of Like the show just felt different.
Speaker 1: I guess that's what it is. Like the show felt different.
Speaker 1: I haven't watched a single second of his season, but
Speaker 1: I met him a couple of times. He's always been cool.
Speaker 1: I don't know, he's just well, I don't know. Even
Speaker 1: Haley was saying, she was like, I feel like he's
Speaker 1: just very himself, Like he doesn't feel like he's trying
Speaker 1: to be the Bachelor. And every time we were watching,
Speaker 1: like the Limo entrances, and he looked at every girl
Speaker 1: in the eye and was like so personal and genuine,
Speaker 1: there wasn't that, Like I don't know, there was just
Speaker 1: something different about how it is now. Interesting um, we're
Speaker 1: going to watch that. Maybe not tonight because of the one,
Speaker 1: so I could do it tomor night. Okay, should this
Speaker 1: be an assignment for the scrubbers? Maybe they should. As
Speaker 1: you have to buy it though, I feel you have
Speaker 1: to buy it because I was trying to do I think,
Speaker 1: like TikTok, this is like forever ago, and I think
Speaker 1: I just was like, oh, you can buy the season.
Speaker 1: So I just bought it. But I don't know if
Speaker 1: people cared that much by it. I'll and I have
Speaker 1: the same birthday. I just want to do Remember six,
Speaker 1: he's six years older than me, but we have the
Speaker 1: same birthday. Are you a scorpioio? I didn't even realize.
Speaker 1: I didn't really know anything about zodiac signs, so I
Speaker 1: didn't even know that dogs a scorpio. I mean she's
Speaker 1: a water sign. Yeah. Can you relax? You got two
Speaker 1: scorpios sitting right here. Scorpios and I are good good Matt,
Speaker 1: like good friends. Yeah, that's why I am Sunny connect
Speaker 1: Sunny doesn't seem scorpio vibes. Yes, she is. She seems
Speaker 1: like a leo. She gives you no, she's like, gives
Speaker 1: you no attention. She tries to make you want her.
Speaker 1: She's very Scorpia. We really can apply the zodiac traits
Speaker 1: to animals too. You can do whatever you want. That
Speaker 1: as humanity, we're accepting that we can do whatever we want. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is my world. You're just visiting in. You know.
Speaker 1: I think Phoebe's a Virgo. I don't know much about virgo's.
Speaker 1: I don't really they're very organized. If you've never seen
Speaker 1: Phoebe Tillie eat dinner, let me tell you. She's come
Speaker 1: over and she's had some of Sunday's dinner before, and
Speaker 1: she's not a fan of carrots any vegetables. She takes
Speaker 1: it out. Okay, my dog's food is mashed up like
Speaker 1: it looks like if you took mashed potatoes and everything
Speaker 1: and literally cut it up into very tiny pieces and
Speaker 1: mashed all together, like it literally just a giant mashed potato.
Speaker 1: Phoebe Tilli eats Sunday's food and you will see a
Speaker 1: little pile of carrots that she has taken out of
Speaker 1: the food and put on the floor next to the bowl.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, that is some skill that she can
Speaker 1: even get the carrots away from the rest of the meal,
Speaker 1: Like that is skill. Isn't that the most me thing
Speaker 1: that she takes out the veget She did it with
Speaker 1: her food, with the celery, she just puts it off
Speaker 1: to the side. So it's so funny because when my
Speaker 1: dog eats, she just it's like she inhales it. There's
Speaker 1: not I don't even think she realized what she's doing.
Speaker 1: It's like she just drop the hungry girl. Don't she
Speaker 1: might be underfed? We're not sure. Um, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think we need to take a break and then
Speaker 1: come back with emails. Does that feel Does that feel right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: During the break, Tanya has discovered that the Jonas brothers
Speaker 1: have been giving their Hollywood star on the Walkome Walk
Speaker 1: of Fame. Congratulations to the Joe bros. They finally got
Speaker 1: their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. But I mean,
Speaker 1: we're doing this in real time, and the speeches are
Speaker 1: going on and I can't seem to find on the
Speaker 1: internet who gave their speeches. And but you don't feel
Speaker 1: happy that you weren't included. I mean, I feel like
Speaker 1: that was an oversight. You know, maybe they were like,
Speaker 1: she's got a lot going on. Oh yeah, yeah, it
Speaker 1: feels like a missed opportunity. You know, I agree. I
Speaker 1: that's a missed opportunity. Like me going to the Harry
Speaker 1: Styles concert was a missed opportunity. You know, I'll be
Speaker 1: thinking about for years to come. Congrats to you guys.
Speaker 1: Congrats Joe Bros. Kevin and Joe and Nick. That's them,
Speaker 1: the brothers Jonas. Moving on, Moving on to emails, Mark
Speaker 1: take it away, Well, thank you very much, Becca. This
Speaker 1: is from Patrese. She says, how do you know what
Speaker 1: It's time to tell the brutal, honest truth and move
Speaker 1: on from a friendship. Nicole and I have been friends
Speaker 1: for over twenty years. We've met his kids in the
Speaker 1: soccer field, grew up in school together. It became travel buddies,
Speaker 1: became roommates who slammed beers together. Throughout our twenties. Last
Speaker 1: three or four years, there has been a struggle as
Speaker 1: our lives have grown in opposite directions. We were in
Speaker 1: our early thirties. I have a great career, I got married.
Speaker 1: I'm looking to start a family. The coals bounced from
Speaker 1: job the job. She can't figure out her passion. She
Speaker 1: has had any luck in the love department. I've done
Speaker 1: everything I can to listen and be supportive and try
Speaker 1: to give advice. But she's going through these struggles and
Speaker 1: her depression and anxiety have taken over. It has become
Speaker 1: hard to spend time with her. As we're changing as people,
Speaker 1: She's become very opinionated. Are you ineditive? And I know
Speaker 1: it all. It's been frustrating to deal with over the years.
Speaker 1: I try to ignore it and let it go, but
Speaker 1: I found myself starting to argue back. One time, we
Speaker 1: even spent thirty minutes arguing about Taylor Swift, who I
Speaker 1: could care less about. Sorry, girls, just because I'm sick
Speaker 1: of her always thinking that it's her way or no way.
Speaker 1: I'm tired of feeling anxious about what she's gonna do
Speaker 1: or say next. What do I do? Do I tell
Speaker 1: her the truth of how I feel. How do you
Speaker 1: tell someone you don't like the personality? And is it
Speaker 1: time to let this friendship go? Well, it's not so
Speaker 1: much her personality, it's her character different. Well, I think
Speaker 1: real hard, But I also think when you're going through
Speaker 1: stuff like dealing with depression and anxiety, you're not yourself.
Speaker 1: Like I don't think that that's who she is because
Speaker 1: it sounds like the person that she is was someone
Speaker 1: that Patrice liked being around at one point. I think
Speaker 1: either way you're gonna lose, like you could lose this
Speaker 1: friendship because you're either going to lose it in a
Speaker 1: way that you quit responding and quit hanging out and
Speaker 1: it just eventually ends with maybe no closure because I
Speaker 1: think you're going to get tired of hearing and arguing
Speaker 1: and all the things that you listed. UM. And then
Speaker 1: the other option is that you have an honest conversation
Speaker 1: with her and say, I find I know that you're
Speaker 1: going through so much, and I'm trying to be supportive,
Speaker 1: but I feel like you're negative. I feel like you're argumentative.
Speaker 1: It's hard to want to spend my time and energy
Speaker 1: putting effort into this friendship when you know you're not
Speaker 1: um reciprocating or putting in the effort back. But she
Speaker 1: isn't saying she's not participating or reciprocating. She's saying everything's
Speaker 1: always her way or the highway, and she's like argumentative. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would just say I feel like everything every time
Speaker 1: we talk it's an argument or it's only your opinion
Speaker 1: is the only one that matters. Doing it where you're
Speaker 1: not blaming her. You know, you can blame the relationship.
Speaker 1: You can say is it me or we arguing constantly lately,
Speaker 1: and maybe the other person is feeling it too, And
Speaker 1: maybe that's a starting off point where you're not saying
Speaker 1: you're argumentative, you're awful, I don't like being around you.
Speaker 1: We could say what's going on with us? I feel
Speaker 1: like we're arguing all the time. It's not like it
Speaker 1: used to be. What's happening? And maybe there's a that's
Speaker 1: a starting point to getting somewhere. That's great advice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I definitely feel like you have to talk it out
Speaker 1: and kind of try and figure it out if you can,
Speaker 1: especially if you guys were so close. But also at
Speaker 1: the same time, I think that sometimes if stuff is going,
Speaker 1: if life is going not in like a positive direction
Speaker 1: for some people and it is with their friends, some
Speaker 1: people tend to react in a very negative, bad way,
Speaker 1: and I feel like that can really bring you down.
Speaker 1: And so maybe you don't break up with her, but
Speaker 1: maybe you distance yourself a little bit to to not
Speaker 1: let it kind of get in the way of you know,
Speaker 1: what's going on in your life, and give it a
Speaker 1: little distance, a little space and then come back and
Speaker 1: kind of have the conversation and just say, you know,
Speaker 1: we were getting things were getting really negative and and
Speaker 1: I want to just give it a little space before
Speaker 1: we communicated. So you're not giving up and breaking up
Speaker 1: with her, but you're just giving yourself a little distance.
Speaker 1: I also think sometimes people are in your life what's
Speaker 1: the quote for season or yeah, And I think sometimes
Speaker 1: we are evolving as people, like we hope to evolve
Speaker 1: as people, right like and grow and change, and sometimes
Speaker 1: it doesn't line up with the person who is in
Speaker 1: your life at that season where you all really connected.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you grow out of those friendships and relationships. So
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think if you're if you want
Speaker 1: to put an effort, I think you have a conversation
Speaker 1: like Mark said, and just say like, what's going on,
Speaker 1: Like this doesn't feel like our relationship and I feel
Speaker 1: like we're arguing a lot, and approach it more from
Speaker 1: a we standpoint, so that she might get defensive, but
Speaker 1: at least you're not saying like you you you, or
Speaker 1: you just say you know, I've grown, we've grown, and
Speaker 1: we're we've grown in different directions and that's okay, that's okay,
Speaker 1: you're going east, I'm going west. You're going north, I'm
Speaker 1: going south. But you know what, we're all going in
Speaker 1: a direction, as long as you're going in a direct,
Speaker 1: as you're going in a direction, all right. This is
Speaker 1: from an anonymous listener who says, I'm a long time listener,
Speaker 1: first time emailers, So I really hope you can read
Speaker 1: this email. My boyfriend of almost three years this proposing soon,
Speaker 1: and I'm worried because I think I know when I've
Speaker 1: told him. I wanted to be a surprise, but I
Speaker 1: think he's so excited. These kind of brought it up,
Speaker 1: but as slightly hinted as to when, at least I
Speaker 1: think that's what he was doing. Do I just forget
Speaker 1: the movie? Like ideal I had in my head that
Speaker 1: I would be shocked during my proposal? Will I still be?
Speaker 1: Since like I don't really know exactly what it's going
Speaker 1: to be. I feel like nowadays maybe that doesn't even
Speaker 1: happen that much. We're very open about getting married and engaged.
Speaker 1: I helped choose the ring. I love him so much
Speaker 1: and I want to be surprised, but I also don't
Speaker 1: want to let him down that I figured out when
Speaker 1: it will be m iem like a good problem to have. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the Champagne problems for everything's going just how you wanted
Speaker 1: to go itself. But I will say she she really
Speaker 1: hit on something that is, like, um, something that I've
Speaker 1: had to deal with a law in therapy, and that
Speaker 1: is getting rid of that fairy tale expectation that you
Speaker 1: have in your head of whatever it may be X
Speaker 1: y Z. Because I had that fairy tale expectation in
Speaker 1: my head for my whole life. You know, I thought
Speaker 1: there was going to be a prince charming on a
Speaker 1: white horse and he was gonna have the exact same
Speaker 1: slipper that was going to fit my foot, and like
Speaker 1: it was. It is this unrealistic expectation of how things
Speaker 1: should be in life. Just isn't that way, do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Life is not this unrealistic expectation
Speaker 1: movie fairy tale. It is in so many ways and
Speaker 1: it's bliss and it's amazing. But sometimes things life doesn't
Speaker 1: always turn out the way that you expect. And I
Speaker 1: think everybody in this room can agree to that in
Speaker 1: every way, shape or form, whether it's career, whether it's friendships,
Speaker 1: whether it's romantic relationships. You know, like They're all these
Speaker 1: expectations that we have that we put in ourselves that
Speaker 1: just are unrealistic, and so I think that coming to
Speaker 1: terms with that reality is so beneficial for your mental health.
Speaker 1: It's just like something that I wrapped my head around
Speaker 1: a while, like a year or two ago, and I
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, my journey and and it's
Speaker 1: going to be a little different than I had imagined
Speaker 1: for myself, but it's equally as amazing, and like the
Speaker 1: challenges make it that much better in the long run.
Speaker 1: So I'd say, just get rid of that expectation in
Speaker 1: your head. I think when the moment happens, it sounds
Speaker 1: like you've been anticipating it for a while. Now we've
Speaker 1: been helped to pick out the ring, you're going to
Speaker 1: just be so excited that you're engaged. And I'm in
Speaker 1: the same boat as you, girl. I think you're going to, like,
Speaker 1: I think all these things that you're like in your
Speaker 1: head about are going to totally fly out the window,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be like, why did I even spend
Speaker 1: my energy or time worrying about this. You're in a
Speaker 1: really good place to pick out the beautiful ring you
Speaker 1: want with the man that you're like, even though I
Speaker 1: don't know exactly when it's coming, Like I don't I
Speaker 1: don't know how pinpointed the day or whatever, I feel
Speaker 1: like it is coming and I don't feel like it's
Speaker 1: ruined at all because I know that it's coming. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're just like ready for it to get here, so
Speaker 1: ready for it. You know, nails are popping. She's ready
Speaker 1: at any moment, just ready, you know, just living in
Speaker 1: that state of ready. But already. I think, no matter what,
Speaker 1: even if you do, even if she knows it's going
Speaker 1: to happen Tuesday at seven pm on whatever, you're gonna
Speaker 1: be anxiously awaiting, being excited and like, yeah, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be gonna be fantastic. You'll pick out the ring. You
Speaker 1: weren't going to be that excited surprised in the first place.
Speaker 1: That's great, Just go with it, have a great time.
Speaker 1: It's okay. Yeah, at least you're gonna like the ring.
Speaker 1: I've talked to some friends who didn't necessarily like the
Speaker 1: ring that they got proposed to with, So at least
Speaker 1: you know you know what you're getting. At least you
Speaker 1: know what you're getting when you're getting it. When you're
Speaker 1: getting in. Oh, I was gonna ask you, this is
Speaker 1: following up from something else. Did you like Bad Sisters? Yes,
Speaker 1: it got a little snoozy in the middle, a little
Speaker 1: bit like there was like an episode two were like interesting,
Speaker 1: but I loved it the ending, Yes, unexpected. Is he
Speaker 1: not the most infuriating character that you've in the world?
Speaker 1: I cannot imagine has anyone else watched it? Very good,
Speaker 1: very recommend Before we go, I did want to send
Speaker 1: a big congratulations, a big scrubbing in congratulations to our
Speaker 1: OSCAR nominated Sophia Carson. So congrats to her. Congrats to
Speaker 1: her everyone. Tania's book, The Sunshine Mine comes out tomorrow. Um,
Speaker 1: we're so proud of you. She sent me some of
Speaker 1: her vision boards from over the years that predicted this moment. Now,
Speaker 1: some of them are a stretch, but one of them
Speaker 1: from so wait, you know what, that's three years ago now,
Speaker 1: It said New York Times bestselling author Tanya at right
Speaker 1: there on the vision board. You can't be any clearer
Speaker 1: than that. And here we go. I know. I sent
Speaker 1: him a couple of stretches because to share the stretches.
Speaker 1: One was Carrie Bradshaw was on her vision board and
Speaker 1: Terry Bradshaw is an author. Yes, okay, whatever, right here.
Speaker 1: One was the words sparkle and shine where it was
Speaker 1: on the vision board and it is the sunshine mind
Speaker 1: and seen the word light was on her vision board.
Speaker 1: So really that was a direct work in the work
Speaker 1: since twenties sixteen. You didn't know what it was, but
Speaker 1: you knew the feeling light, the sparkle, the shine was
Speaker 1: coming through Carrie Bradshaw Vibes, which is an author to
Speaker 1: the New York Times best selling book The Sunshine Mine.
Speaker 1: There we go, There we go. Yeah, those are some stretches,
Speaker 1: but I appreciate that per at least you had like
Speaker 1: a legit one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you. Um that's
Speaker 1: all for today, folks. We love you, We love you.
Speaker 1: A great week, and we'll be back next Monday.