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Speaker 1: My ex girlfriend opened up two credit cards in my name.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm seventy five hundred dollars in debt. My ex

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Speaker 1: and I broke up a little more than a year ago.

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Speaker 1: We lived together for a couple of years, and I

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Speaker 1: know she would have had access to my financial information.

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Speaker 1: When we broke up. I moved out of the house

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Speaker 1: we were renting, and though I had everything of mine

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Speaker 1: back in February, when I was doing my taxes, I

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Speaker 1: realized I could not find my folder with my previous

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Speaker 1: year's tax returns anywhere. I assumed it got lost to

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Speaker 1: the move and didn't think anything of it. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from Easy Now Steven on the o slash

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Speaker 1: shuking story Time subvered it and night Love Bubbles says,

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Speaker 1: who are these people dating? Crazy people?

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Speaker 2: People?

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Speaker 1: People? Then people?

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Speaker 2: There is people.

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Speaker 1: Last Friday, I got served for a lawsuit to the

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Speaker 1: tune of over five thousand dollars for a defaulted credit

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Speaker 1: card WHOAO. When I went and actually pulled my credit

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Speaker 1: I saw that card had been defaulted since May, and

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Speaker 1: there was another one which had been closed since June

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Speaker 1: for about twenty five hundred dollars. Seeing as I had

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Speaker 1: no knowledge about this. I immediately disputed both of the

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Speaker 1: counts on all three bureaus websites. I was able to

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Speaker 1: talk with someone for one of the cards and they

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Speaker 1: said it was opened in January, well after I had

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Speaker 1: moved out of my old house and the cards were

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Speaker 1: sent there. I received the statements from one card, and

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Speaker 1: it was probably eighty percent Nordstrom Macy's.

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Speaker 2: Of course it was has.

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Speaker 1: All those Gucci bag, two of the stores my ex

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Speaker 1: loved shopping at a coincidence. I think pretty sure she

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Speaker 1: was the one who opened the accounts, probably using my

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Speaker 1: social Security number from the old tax returns.

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Speaker 2: Not good.

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Speaker 1: I called my ex about it and she denied everything.

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Speaker 1: If she had anything to shift to the house using

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Speaker 1: a stolen credit card, she's going to get found out.

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Speaker 1: She flipped and started screaming at me, saying I can't

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Speaker 1: seriously accuse her of anything and to never talk to

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Speaker 1: her again. About twenty minutes later, I get a call

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Speaker 1: from a blocked number. It was her boyfriend threatening to

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Speaker 1: make my life a living yale unless I stopped harassing

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Speaker 1: her by claiming she stole my identity. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: this is his X. This is great, This is pretty

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Speaker 1: ridiculous for the boyfriend to be like, stop harassing her,

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Speaker 1: let her steal your money.

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Speaker 2: Come on, I mean, if I were the boyfriend like

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Speaker 2: she probably was like he's accusing me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's accusing music.

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Speaker 2: I didn't do anything, but I'm taking your money too.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry. I would never take his money. He hung up,

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Speaker 1: but I was shaken up about it. I can see

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Speaker 1: he's got some serious felonies just by looking at the

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Speaker 1: public records on the county website.

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Speaker 2: Hey yo, I can't read today. Hey yo, uh the delivery.

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Speaker 1: He's got some serious felonies on the.

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Speaker 3: Gun too website.

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Speaker 1: It's my Australian exc I'm kind of stuck here. I'm

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Speaker 1: opening myself up to retaliation if I go forward with

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Speaker 1: anything from someone who has charges of aggravated arson and

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Speaker 1: aggravated discharge of a firearm in addition to a few

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Speaker 1: battery charges. The boyfriend houses who has this.

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Speaker 2: Yes, from the county, from the county.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, I can't just not do anything, though any advice

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Speaker 1: would be greatly appreciated. I don't know. I'm not a lawyer,

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Speaker 1: but I think that you should file a police report

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Speaker 1: against her and then maybe, you know, see if you

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Speaker 1: can get a restraint.

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Speaker 2: You know, you gotta check if she has anything from there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, any other lawsuits against her or something.

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Speaker 2: But also, can't you just fight that off?

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Speaker 1: I think so. I think you can say, hey, my

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Speaker 1: information was taken old house.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, obviously I don't shop at those and.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't doing this. Yeah, I think you could say

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Speaker 1: that I didn't know about that. Yeah, talk to your bank.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes the bank's like, all right.

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Speaker 1: All right, yeah that happened to me. The French people

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Speaker 1: stole my money. They stole like three hundred dollars and

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Speaker 1: I got it back.

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Speaker 2: But seriously, with this, that's kind of flabbergasting that she's like,

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Speaker 2: how dare you accuse me? All right, here's my boyfriend

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Speaker 2: beat him up.

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Speaker 1: Relevant comments, So commenter says, coppying this for every identity

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Speaker 1: theft situation I see on here, since it seems to

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Speaker 1: happen a lot where you know who the person is

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Speaker 1: who stole your identity. This is all information you can

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Speaker 1: find in the sub and others. Number One, call the police.

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Speaker 1: You're the victim of identity theft, plain and simple. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter who did it or what your relationship is

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Speaker 1: to them. They broke the law. Now they have to

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Speaker 1: face the consequences of their actions. Number two, freeze your credit. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you want to make sure it doesn't happen again. Take

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Speaker 1: the proactive route of freezing your credit. Number three, monitor

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Speaker 1: and track your credit. You need to be alerted if

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Speaker 1: anyone tries opening a line of credit in your name,

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Speaker 1: for warn anyone else who might be a victim. Five

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Speaker 1: take the police report to the credit bureaus. And for

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Speaker 1: this specific case, you need to go to the police.

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Speaker 1: Like now, this guy seems like an incredibly violent person.

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Speaker 1: I would get a restraining order as soon as possible.

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Speaker 1: Does he know where you live? I also would not

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Speaker 1: contact your ex at all about anything else. Let it

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Speaker 1: all go through the court system.

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Speaker 2: Good commentator whoever did that, that was top tier.

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Speaker 1: They've freaking been through this man, oh P says, I

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Speaker 1: plan on calling the police. I was just kind of

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Speaker 1: freaked out about the whole situation. How do I get

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Speaker 1: the police report to the credit companies? And Commenter two says,

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Speaker 1: file a police report for the fraud, Contact the lenders

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Speaker 1: and provide the police report number and jurisdiction. Let the

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Speaker 1: police and bank sort it out. Provide all that info

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Speaker 1: to the lawyers that file the suit and bring it

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Speaker 1: all to court, do not skip a court. Take And

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Speaker 1: there you have it. They really spelled it all out.

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Speaker 2: No, no, whoever that commentator was again like I said,

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Speaker 2: a one lawyer.

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Speaker 3: We got a lawyer right here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like, I know what I'm doing.

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Speaker 1: Don't you worry. I'll take care of you.

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Speaker 3: Call me, call me one eight hundred.

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Speaker 1: But let's get into this update. I followed the advice

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Speaker 1: in the comments and went to the police quick and

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Speaker 1: painless process. Surprising, that is not my experience. I was

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Speaker 1: in and out in maybe thirty minutes with the report number.

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Speaker 1: I never received another call from my ex or her boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: I gave the report number to the credit card companies

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Speaker 1: and the credit bureaus. I was told I didn't have

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Speaker 1: to do anything else at that point but to show

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Speaker 1: up to the court date for the lawsuit. I learned

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Speaker 1: through a mutual friend today that my ex was arrested

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Speaker 1: this morning.

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Speaker 2: Well, very good, very nice.

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Speaker 1: Good to hear. Apparently the county put out a warrant

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Speaker 1: for her last week, pulled her over on the way

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Speaker 1: to work. It looked like she was charged and released

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Speaker 1: pretty quickly. Also, I learned my ex and the boyfriend

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Speaker 1: who threatened me are no longer together.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what have a turn of events?

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Speaker 1: You've torn them apart?

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Speaker 2: How the turntables here?

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Speaker 1: Ah, the turntables. I don't think I have to worry

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Speaker 1: about him anymore, hopefully not. But you know what, you

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Speaker 1: guys still have to worry about. Joining us live every

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Speaker 1: week today through PMPST. Just tab her Bova got it.

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Speaker 1: The court date for the lawsuit is later this month.

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Speaker 1: But everything has already fallen off my reports amazing. My

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Speaker 1: score has gone up probably two hundred points. I'm still

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Speaker 1: going to the courtate just to make sure everything is good.

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Speaker 1: But it's looking like all good news from me here

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Speaker 1: on all excellent work relevant comments Number one, that's awesome news.

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Speaker 1: Your story will also serve as inspiration for others to

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Speaker 1: pursue justice when they've been wronged, and comment or two says,

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Speaker 1: make sure you put a freeze on your Social Security

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Speaker 1: number with all three credit bureaus if you haven't done

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Speaker 1: so already. And that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: That was a great story.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, everything was sorted out really efficiently. X SOX sucks

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Speaker 1: x SOX one hundred percent. We learned something new today.

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Speaker 1: We did learn something new about how to solve credit

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Speaker 1: fraud when it happens.

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Speaker 2: To you straightforward to the point love that we love it.

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Speaker 4: My girlfriend stole my Pokemon cards. I'm taking her to

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Speaker 4: cards I'm doing. She took my first edition charzyard. We

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Speaker 4: are both in our early twenties and have been together

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Speaker 4: for three years. It has been two months since we

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Speaker 4: moved in together. When I was a teenager, I was

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Speaker 4: obsessed with collecting Pokemon cards. I had over five thousand

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Speaker 4: cards in my collection. A lot of them are very crappy,

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Speaker 4: worth five cents to three dollars, but some are worth

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Speaker 4: up to two hundred and fifty dollars. By the way,

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Speaker 4: this comes from user throw r a Help five seven

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Speaker 4: seven on the our slash best of Redditor's updates suparate

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Speaker 4: it personally. I never intended to sell them, or at

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Speaker 4: least not in the near future. My girlfriend gave away

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Speaker 4: my entire collection to her cousin one month ago without

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Speaker 4: asking me, since he asked her if he could have

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Speaker 4: them when he visited us. Now, she gave them away

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Speaker 4: believing that since I'm an adult now, I won't need them.

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Speaker 4: As I was cleaning my room a few hours ago,

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Speaker 4: I realized my collection box was missing, and I went

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Speaker 4: crazy looking for it.

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Speaker 1: I'm assuming that he talks about this a lot. If

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Speaker 1: this is something that he cares about, I feel like

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Speaker 1: he's probably mentioned it to her, in which case, how

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Speaker 1: does she not understand their importance?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: An hour later, she came home after running some errands

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Speaker 2: and told me what she did. I told her to

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Speaker 2: get them back, and she has refused because it would

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Speaker 2: be humiliating her. What should I do? I have a

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Speaker 2: recording of her confessing to it, so I can easily

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Speaker 2: get compensated for it in court, but I'm assuming that

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Speaker 2: will effectively end the relationship.

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Speaker 1: Good.

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Speaker 2: Though I love her a lot, I believe I would

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Speaker 2: rather have my cards. It doesn't seem right to sue

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Speaker 2: her for this, but I don't know how I could

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Speaker 2: recover my collection. If there is a less aggressive way

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Speaker 2: to handle this, please let me know. Advice. OPI she

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Speaker 2: gave them away for ten dollars from HGTAW. Do you

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Speaker 2: have an estimate or the total value five to five

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Speaker 2: point five K to toy Day's value? Yougen nine oh three said,

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Speaker 2: I'd agree this is a deal breaker. What an ass?

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Speaker 2: She's more concerned with her ego than fixing her mistake. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I saw he refused, but she did not try hard enough.

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Speaker 2: Has she even apologized? Discombopulated till bet she kept the

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Speaker 2: ten dollars too. As for the cousin, what an a hole? OPI.

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Speaker 2: I guess you have not to go over and explain

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Speaker 2: the collection wasn't her to give or sell? How snotty

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Speaker 2: you have get depends on what they do about it.

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Speaker 3: I guess.

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Speaker 2: Also, most likely you'll have to give that snotty kid

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Speaker 2: ten dollars. Edited to say, you will probably have to

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Speaker 2: take your gf to small claims court since she doesn't

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Speaker 2: want to embarrass herself. Princess underscore XO, please update with

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Speaker 2: the decision you made, OPI defo contacting the police because

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Speaker 2: apparently I'm a man child with ego problems who wants

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Speaker 2: to just humiliate his girlfriend in front of her family members.

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Speaker 2: Like what VEXO eight, No, you shouldn't sue your girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: It seems like you're ready to break up over this.

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Speaker 2: Just instance on getting your cards back. Talk to the cousin,

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Speaker 2: slash their parents directly if you have to. That's a

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Speaker 2: better option than paying thousands of dollars for the court

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Speaker 2: to intervene.

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Speaker 1: That's fair, But I do think that if he doesn't

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Speaker 1: get it back, then maybe douming is the only.

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Speaker 2: Way that I don't understand how he wouldn't get it back.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, either, I would say right now, either one, talk

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Speaker 1: to your girlfriend, say you need to get this back,

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Speaker 1: and we're breaking up to go directly to the parents

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Speaker 1: of this child.

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Speaker 2: Book NERD three eight one. Please vote this court is

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Speaker 2: not cheap, and that better be the most impressive hoarde

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Speaker 2: of cards ever, as you are never going to get

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Speaker 2: anywhere near the value of the cards just to see

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Speaker 2: a lawyer and have them tell you there's no way

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Speaker 2: you'll get this to court. Opie. They are worth five

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Speaker 2: to five point five k in terms of today's value,

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Speaker 2: and more importantly, they have sentimental value to me, and

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure that's something One other competator suggested that

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Speaker 2: this is something the police would be able to handle,

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Speaker 2: so there's no need for any court. So first I

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Speaker 2: will try that and hopefully I get them back. I

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Speaker 2: will just try going to the source before you start

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Speaker 2: getting the law involved and getting more people involved, just

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Speaker 2: because that's.

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Speaker 1: Gonna be more money on coming out of your pocket.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what's so wrong? Even if they're like a state away,

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Speaker 2: like hey, give them a call, or like could you

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Speaker 2: ask your girlfriend for the number?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a fine if you're not gonna do it.

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Speaker 2: All it would be also added, the small claims court

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Speaker 2: can only award me up to one thousand dollars equivalent

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Speaker 2: to my currency, which is not the monetary value of

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Speaker 2: the cards. There is also sentimental value, which is worth

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Speaker 2: way more. My sister is a lawyer, and she said

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Speaker 2: since the monetary values huge, the police will get involved

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Speaker 2: and treat it as a serious matter. I have given

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Speaker 2: her time to think about it, but if she doesn't

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Speaker 2: do anything, I'll go and file an FIR against her

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Speaker 2: and the cousin, since I won't have any other option

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Speaker 2: at that point. Update two months later, Holy crap. Never

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Speaker 2: thought this is how twenty twenty one would end. A

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Speaker 2: lot has happened since my first post. First, thank you

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Speaker 2: for the support, some tips, and good luck. I'll start

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Speaker 2: by clearing some assumptions. In my original post, I said,

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Speaker 2: though I love her a lot, I believe I would

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Speaker 2: rather have my cards. This statement alone pissed some of you,

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Speaker 2: so let me elaborate on that. My first ever three

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Speaker 2: hundred cards were from my father's collection, so.

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Speaker 1: They do have a lot of sentimental value.

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Speaker 2: Yes, he passed away of hepatitis C. He was quite

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Speaker 2: into gaming. My mom kept his cards for years and

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Speaker 2: gave them to me when I was in my early

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Speaker 2: teens and I got hooked. I hear the collection to

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Speaker 2: five thousand cards. There was immense sentimental value attached to

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Speaker 2: those cards. After my girlfriend refused to talk to the cousin,

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Speaker 2: he refusing to give me the cards when I asked

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Speaker 2: his parents being jerked to me, I took the legal route, which.

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Speaker 1: That Yeah, I think that's what we say. Yeah, if

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Speaker 1: none of those are working, which is crazy, I can't imagine.

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Speaker 1: I mean, the freaking apple does not fall far from

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Speaker 1: the tree if they're all behaving like this.

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Speaker 2: Filed an FIR. Initially I had troubled since the police

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Speaker 2: didn't care about some cards. But my sister, she is

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Speaker 2: about to become a lawyer, told the police the estimated

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Speaker 2: value and they got interested. Oh yeah, there it is.

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Speaker 1: Now that it's about the money.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna make the news. We told the police five

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Speaker 2: to five point five k value of the cards. Things

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Speaker 2: took time, but the police eventually confiscated the cards four thousand,

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Speaker 2: nine hundred eighty seven and got them appraised by a company.

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Speaker 2: They came back with a value of approximately No. Six thousand.

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Speaker 1: Damn so more.

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Speaker 2: I told the police the missing cards were also of

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Speaker 2: substantial value since they were very old. SOB sold the

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Speaker 2: one my father left behind. Oh no, that's so bad.

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Speaker 2: Cousin told us who he sold to, and those people

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Speaker 2: gave the cards back with no problems. Okay, see that's

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Speaker 2: what it should have been in the very first place.

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Speaker 1: Should have just given it back. Ridiculous that the cousin

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Speaker 1: sold them. I'm glad the law got involved to fix this.

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Speaker 2: Right now, the police have all the cards. The cousin,

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Speaker 2: who I knew, had his eyes on my cards through

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00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,480
Speaker 2: my gf under the bus. I know this because he

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Speaker 2: wanted to buy those from me in the past, but

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Speaker 2: I refused. He told the police he bought those in

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Speaker 2: good faith. My gf also tried lying to the police,

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Speaker 2: but since I had her on recording, she got into

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Speaker 2: even more Troubleoo. She got charged with grand larceny also

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Speaker 2: fine for lying to the police.

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Speaker 1: Is stupid, stupid? What is she getting out of this?

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Speaker 1: Like She's like, oh, I don't want to humiliate myself

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Speaker 1: in front of my family. You're embarrassing yourself way more now.

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Speaker 2: You know she got all of this pure embarrassment and

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Speaker 2: more money gone, more.

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Speaker 1: Money gone because she wanted to give her a cousin

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Speaker 1: a gift that wasn't her a gift.

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Speaker 2: I should get the cards by the end of this

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Speaker 2: month or by early January. The police just said they

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Speaker 2: need to finalize and file some reports and then I

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Speaker 2: can have them as for proof of all this. I

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Speaker 2: had the cards photos front and back, along with some receipts.

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Speaker 2: Some of you were also saying that I should take

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Speaker 2: this to a small claim court. This amount is too

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Speaker 2: big for that, at least where I am. I forgot

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Speaker 2: to add. My sister wants to sue all of them

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Speaker 2: for emotional distress, but I don't know about that. Any

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Speaker 2: advice on that relevant comments Nick p one two, three, four,

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Speaker 2: five six. Probably time to quit referring to her as

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Speaker 2: your girlfriend. That's find of funny. Oh crap, I'm so

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00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,720
Speaker 2: used to it, i'd even realize impressive. Cricket eight. The

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00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:45,360
Speaker 2: cousin got some asshpin in front of me to elaborate, please, Opie.

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Speaker 2: When the police went to confiscate the cards or my

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00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:50,760
Speaker 2: sister and I were with them, They got them left

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00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,080
Speaker 2: and we just stood there and his mother slapped the

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Speaker 2: crap out of him. I don't condone violence, but I

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Speaker 2: won't say I feel bad for him.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I mean, like, how old is this child?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we need to clarify.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a little concerning. Yeah, is this like a

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Speaker 1: little eleven year old being the no my cards?

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Speaker 2: I pay ten dollars for this, even though it's probably

347
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:13,920
Speaker 2: your money. Mom. Yeah, man's bear's pigs Israel's Wait. I

348
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,760
Speaker 2: thought there were being jerks to you. Why was she

349
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Speaker 2: upset with him? OPI they were jerks with me in

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Speaker 2: the start, when the police weren't involved. I asked them

351
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,360
Speaker 2: first nicely, they were jerks. I went to the police.

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Speaker 2: So when the police went and confiscated the cards. After that,

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00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,920
Speaker 2: the mom was slapping her kid. She shouldn't be doing

354
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,600
Speaker 2: that to the kid. She should also be kind of

355
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Speaker 2: slapping her herself.

356
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Speaker 1: She was in on this. This is all part of

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Speaker 1: the plan.

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Speaker 2: Yes, girls, use read it says. Do you think it's

359
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Speaker 2: that she didn't believe her kid could do such a thing,

360
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,520
Speaker 2: and she's slapping him because he got proven. Or is

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Speaker 2: she slapping him for making the parents have to deal

362
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Speaker 2: with the law? OPI, I honestly think it's because the

363
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,760
Speaker 2: police came to their house with their sirens on and

364
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,280
Speaker 2: all the neighbors came out, so the embarrassment would have

365
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:56,200
Speaker 2: been unreal, and she was probably taking the anger out

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Speaker 2: on him.

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Speaker 1: I think they just have, like are very concerned with

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Speaker 1: how they look in front of other people.

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00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,440
Speaker 2: This whole family, well now they all look pretty, they

370
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,679
Speaker 2: all look like thieves. It's all part of the family.

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00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,720
Speaker 2: I think that's like rule number one is like, don't

372
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Speaker 2: want to get embarrassed.

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Speaker 1: Don't embarrass the family or you'll be cast out.

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Speaker 2: Use your okay replacement seventy six ninety seven. What did

375
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,440
Speaker 2: your girlfriend say about all this? Has she apologized he

376
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,400
Speaker 2: cousin receive any sanction? How long will your girlfriend spend

377
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,960
Speaker 2: in jail? Has anyone in her family said something? Will

378
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,679
Speaker 2: you keep updating this? I hope so?

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00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,560
Speaker 1: I love all this go back to back questions rapid fire.

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Speaker 2: Opie says she honestly said a lot of stuff like

381
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Speaker 2: how am I prioritizing cards over a human?

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00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,879
Speaker 1: That's not the case. It's not you're being broken up

383
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:42,680
Speaker 1: with because you stole stuff without consent. Consent, and then

384
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Speaker 1: we're a jerk about it.

385
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:48,280
Speaker 2: Not understanding the value, yes, of these cards, of these items.

386
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:52,160
Speaker 2: I'm choosing things over my ex girlfriend, so I'm objectifying her,

387
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:56,280
Speaker 2: which makes me a misogynist. And she hopes I never

388
00:17:56,359 --> 00:18:00,800
Speaker 2: get spicy time or a partner, and I pass away miserably,

389
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:06,639
Speaker 2: damn vindictive, very aggressive too. She said all kinds of

390
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,600
Speaker 2: wild stuff. And no she hasn't apologized. I don't think

391
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,160
Speaker 2: she will. She's not going to the cousin got nothing.

392
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,320
Speaker 2: He and his parents lied it, and my sister said

393
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,919
Speaker 2: not to say anything since we were getting what we wanted,

394
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,200
Speaker 2: which is the cards. I don't know what else to update.

395
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,440
Speaker 2: I should get my cards soon.

396
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,920
Speaker 1: Goodness, gracious, I'm hoping you get your cards.

397
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:24,240
Speaker 2: No, he's got it, he's got his word.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

399
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,320
Speaker 2: You can join us live on YouTube every weekday at

400
00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:28,280
Speaker 2: three pm PST.

401
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,879
Speaker 1: Just tap our profile, tap bet tabat.

402
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:35,720
Speaker 2: And don't sew anyone's stuff without asking anyone's stuff.

403
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,280
Speaker 1: It's not yours. Keep pause to yourself.

404
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,600
Speaker 2: People don't assume, because when you assume, you know what.

405
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,199
Speaker 1: That does makes an a hole out of you and me.

406
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,520
Speaker 2: Bingo bongo. That's the end of that story.

407
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,800
Speaker 1: My girlfriend is furious that I went to a party.

408
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:53,960
Speaker 1: I think she's being too controlling. I should say that

409
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 1: I am unaware if we are truly in a relationship

410
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:01,119
Speaker 1: or not. It's a great start, like we might not

411
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,760
Speaker 1: be dating. During the summer, there was a big fight

412
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,840
Speaker 1: that had to do with her not trusting me. Her

413
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 1: group of friends hates one of my childhood friends, so

414
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,480
Speaker 1: I don't really mention this childhood friend. But the childhood

415
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,720
Speaker 1: friend's mother brought me treats at school, and when my

416
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 1: girlfriend asked me who gave them to me, all I

417
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 1: said was a friend's mom, which caused her to freak

418
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,760
Speaker 1: out and call me a liar and de douche. After

419
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,960
Speaker 1: a couple weeks of just being friends, we kind of

420
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 1: made up and hung out together and basically spent all

421
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,959
Speaker 1: summer together. This does feel like high school drama. We

422
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,680
Speaker 1: acted like we had never broken up, and it progressed

423
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 1: even more so that it was like we were actually

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00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,080
Speaker 1: back together during the school year. By the way, this

425
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:44,440
Speaker 1: comes from Throwaway Plucks on the r Slashokeay Storytime Separate It. Also,

426
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,879
Speaker 1: she does have bipolar tendencies and has been going to

427
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Speaker 1: a therapist for a bit to deal with it. At

428
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:50,719
Speaker 1: least she's in therapy.

429
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:51,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, good on her.

430
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,159
Speaker 1: She commutes to school back at home, while I dorm

431
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,919
Speaker 1: at a pretty big party school on the East Coast,

432
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Speaker 1: about two and a half hours away from home, which

433
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,480
Speaker 1: does me and I go to parties now and then,

434
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Speaker 1: not too often, maybe once a month. I do tend

435
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 1: to get very drunk, but trust me, I pretty much

436
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 1: remember everything that's gone on during those nights. I usually

437
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 1: spend my parties chilling with my friends and playing some pong,

438
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:19,160
Speaker 1: taking shots, and thinking about my girlfriends. Anyway, for Halloween,

439
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 1: I did what a majority of college students did and

440
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 1: went to a party. I was accompanied by my roommate

441
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,679
Speaker 1: and one of my girlfriend's best friends, who happened to

442
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 1: be a mutual close friend, a female. My girlfriend was

443
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 1: happy at first. We skyped before I left, and we

444
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,440
Speaker 1: texted and stuff until my phone night. During the night,

445
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,239
Speaker 1: I didn't do much frank and took jello shots with

446
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 1: my friends, playing a game of beer pong, just chilled.

447
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 1: I'm not really a dancing kind of guy, so I

448
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,679
Speaker 1: didn't really go near the dance floor, and I don't

449
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 1: particularly like the party type, so I really only talked

450
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 1: to like girls I knew and guys a lot of

451
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 1: the party, all I could think about was how much

452
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 1: I missed my girlfriend and told her mutual friend about it.

453
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,600
Speaker 1: I eventually got pretty drunk, so much so that I

454
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,360
Speaker 1: was wobbling about and leaning on people left and right,

455
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 1: mostly on the mutual friend and my roommate. Eventually, I

456
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 1: get back to the dorm and my girlfriend is asleep,

457
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 1: so I text her good night and go to bed

458
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 1: as well. The next day, I wake up to a

459
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 1: text from her saying how friendly I always am and

460
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 1: must have had fun at the party. Seems like she

461
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 1: might know something. I questioned her about it, and she

462
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 1: was like, well, you're always friendly with my friends. We

463
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 1: have a few mutual friends since before we started going out,

464
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,040
Speaker 1: and I became friends with a couple of hers after.

465
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 1: She got mad that I did this in the past,

466
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,120
Speaker 1: saying she doesn't know my friends, so she doesn't get

467
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,679
Speaker 1: why I need to talk to hers. She doesn't know

468
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 1: my friends because every time I invited her to hang

469
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 1: out with us, she made an excuse to invite her

470
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 1: friends along, and my friends kept getting mad and canceling

471
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 1: because she kept ruining plans by inviting people that they

472
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,919
Speaker 1: didn't really talk to or know at all, making it

473
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: kind of awkward.

474
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,399
Speaker 2: Oh, this sounds just like a young relationship where you

475
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,600
Speaker 2: just don't know what communication is exactly.

476
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: They're in college, I mean more so her, but she's

477
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 1: been little bit immature. Yeah. I feel like you would

478
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: want to be friends with your partner's friends, And it

479
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,679
Speaker 1: seems like she's inviting her friends so she doesn't have

480
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:07,960
Speaker 1: to talk to his friends.

481
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's like, Oh, I'm not friends with your

482
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,160
Speaker 2: friends because you're not making an effort.

483
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 1: She's not making any effort here anyway. She then proceeds

484
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 1: to tell me to f off and asks why I

485
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 1: always bring her friends up every time there's a fight.

486
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 1: She's the one that brings other people into fights and

487
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 1: brings up the past. She then told me how I

488
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 1: had put my arm around our mutual friend. I explained

489
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 1: to her that I was leaning on her because I

490
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 1: was trying not to fall over, and that I had

491
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 1: been leaning on a few people that night. She said, yeah,

492
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 1: use the drug excuse effort.

493
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 2: This is really aggressive.

494
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 1: Not a good relationship.

495
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:43,840
Speaker 2: Is that therapy working.

496
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 1: Not super well and proceeded to berate me She talked

497
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: about how I'm a heavy drinker who likes to black out.

498
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,400
Speaker 1: I am a heavy drinker because I'm a large guy,

499
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 1: so I need a bit more alcohol to get drunk,

500
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:59,640
Speaker 1: and I've never blacked out before, and about how that

501
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,159
Speaker 1: means I have no conscious and won't remember crap. She

502
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 1: asked if I even remember the night, to which of

503
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 1: course I said yes. She always asks when she gets mad,

504
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: and I always say yes, but she tends to ignore

505
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 1: things I say and keeps reusing the same arguments even

506
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: though I disprove them. She then goes on to how

507
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,919
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want her partying and I'm a hypocrite for

508
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 1: touching other girls and partying, saying that I would get

509
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 1: mad at her if it were her in my place.

510
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 1: This is entirely untrue, and I tell her so. I say,

511
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 1: as I had said to her many times, that I

512
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 1: don't mind if she parties and does stuff with her friends,

513
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: because if I do it too, why would I get

514
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,679
Speaker 1: mad at her for doing it? Exactly. Obi's like, I'm

515
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 1: not setting double standards here, I'm doing it. You can

516
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 1: go to parties too, just have fun, literally, as long

517
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,920
Speaker 1: as we're being respectful and communicating which he is. I

518
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to be a hypocrite, and I trust her

519
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 1: enough not to cheat or anything like that. This is

520
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: also an argument she uses a lot, saying I wouldn't

521
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 1: like it if she does X, even though I expressly

522
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 1: say she can do X. She also says I don't

523
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 1: like when she touches guys because in high school she

524
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,639
Speaker 1: was a big hip hop dancer and partier, skipping school

525
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 1: to get et cetera, et cetera, and would constantly grind

526
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 1: and sit in the lap of one of her guy friends.

527
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 1: And I told her it bothered me. When she continued

528
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 1: to do it after we started dating. She stopped after

529
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 1: I said, this totally different to be like having some

530
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 1: drinks at a party, at a Halloween party and getting

531
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 1: a little drunk and like leaning on people versus grinding

532
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: on a person.

533
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 2: That's way different. Like if I'm putting my arm around

534
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,959
Speaker 2: like a female friend, like yeah, like it's like he's

535
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 2: a guy friend, Like come on, but I'm not grinding

536
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,639
Speaker 2: on any of my friends like that.

537
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, I don't believe you in this scenario.

538
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 1: This is very inappropriate, and she's having the double standards

539
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 1: that she's accusing him of having.

540
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 2: One hundred percent, and again she doesn't want to put

541
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 2: in the effort to Like he's meeting her right there

542
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,160
Speaker 2: in the halfway point and she's like, no, you gotta.

543
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: I tell her to stop, assuming that I do these

544
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: things and that she's never seen me drink. She goes

545
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,919
Speaker 1: on about how I refuse to drink with her. Untrue.

546
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: I've gotten her and our friends drinks a couple times,

547
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 1: but every time I try to drink with her, she

548
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 1: would run away with one of her girlfriends and leave

549
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: me alone with a bunch of her friends. She never

550
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 1: tried to drink with me, yet, says, I'm the one

551
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 1: that doesn't want to drink with her. I tell her

552
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 1: basically what I just said about when I try to

553
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 1: drink with her, and say, if she hates it that much,

554
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 1: I won't party anymore.

555
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:28,360
Speaker 2: That's ruining your experience. Like I'm not saying drink all

556
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 2: you want, drink, drink, drink, drink, but like if you're

557
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 2: having fun.

558
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you enjoy going to these parties, the solution

559
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,399
Speaker 1: or the compromise is not you don't get to go

560
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 1: to them at all, just because you know of her

561
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 1: trust problems.

562
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 2: I can't have funn anymore. I can't socialize because that

563
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 2: makes you feel bad.

564
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: She proceeds to talk about how it's a party school

565
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:50,159
Speaker 1: and it's pointless to go if I don't party. This

566
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 1: pisses me off, as she's not only stereotyping me and

567
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 1: students at school, but insulting the thousands of people at

568
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 1: this school who do not party and grouping them with

569
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 1: the ones who do. Due to my anger, I said,

570
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,640
Speaker 1: has this year been pointless to you? Are you saying

571
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: you would rather stereotype me and generalize me than to

572
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 1: use what you actually know about me. I managed to

573
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 1: refrain from saying any bad things and stereotyping her, thankfully.

574
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: I asked her to stop grouping me with everyone at

575
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 1: the school, and I don't even go to half the

576
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: parties the school is known for. I usually go to smaller,

577
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 1: low key ones. She told me she was just stating

578
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 1: the facts, and I said, what does that have to

579
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 1: do with me, which caused her to tell me to

580
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 1: do whatever the f you like.

581
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 2: She's aggressive communicator. If someone was talking to me like that, well,

582
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 2: I mean again, I don't know how Opie's talking to her,

583
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 2: but it seems like.

584
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 1: Seems like he's like trying to find a compromise.

585
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 2: He's trying to fix things and make things work, and

586
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 2: she's just attacking it. And she's just like, f you

587
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 2: f this, do it my way or the highway. She's

588
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 2: ruining your experience and that's bringing you down. You're not

589
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,679
Speaker 2: gonna I tell this to people. People told me this,

590
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 2: But college years they go by like that.

591
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 1: Especially when half of it is on COVID.

592
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 2: No sorry ALRP by college years they went by in

593
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 2: a snap. High school years, two high school years, college years,

594
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,639
Speaker 2: four years seems like it's a long time, but he

595
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 2: goes by.

596
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 1: You don't want to spend your college years being like

597
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:14,159
Speaker 1: in a controlling relationship where you're constantly acting to like

598
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 1: make excuses or explain yourself when you aren't doing anything.

599
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 2: Wrong, or just not like enjoy it. She needs to

600
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 2: loosen up real quick.

601
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 1: I told her that I do, and that she gets

602
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 1: mad at me for doing stuff, so I stop doing them,

603
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 1: but she always brings them up in arguments even if

604
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: I stop doing them. She then tells me I am

605
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 1: a grown up and to use my own mind. I

606
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 1: am not sure why. It's not like anyone was influencing

607
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,120
Speaker 1: my decisions. I then tell her that I won't talk

608
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 1: until she calms down and that she is raging unnecessarily,

609
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,919
Speaker 1: and she responded by telling me that I should go

610
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 1: talk with our mutual friend since we're so close. Exhausting

611
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,439
Speaker 1: to have to try and explain things that you're not doing.

612
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 1: It's so pointless. She's trying to pick at the relationship

613
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 1: and find faults in it where there are none. She's

614
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: like creating them.

615
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 2: You did this, but you stop doing it. But you

616
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 2: did it, you.

617
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 1: Did in the first place, even though you didn't know that.

618
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: I didn't want you to do it so much in common,

619
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 1: and to stop trying since we aren't in a relationship,

620
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 1: which would make sense if she wasn't the one that

621
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: initiated the basically acting like a relationship again and getting

622
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 1: mad and jealous over small things. I forgot that they

623
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 1: really weren't in a relationship.

624
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,639
Speaker 2: This is all pointless, all pointless.

625
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 1: She's demanding relationship status things, honestly, beyond relationship status things.

626
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,199
Speaker 1: She's asking for ridiculous things when they aren't even in

627
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: a relationship.

628
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 2: That's wild, especially the way she's talking to you, even

629
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 2: if you are in a relationship. That's not how you

630
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 2: should be talked to in a relationship. That's really toxic.

631
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 2: I'm aludy three thousands.

632
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: She constantly says we live in different worlds. We really don't,

633
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 1: yet she uses that as an excuse for everything. Oh,

634
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 1: your friends don't like that to do what mine do.

635
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: Different worlds. That's why our friends don't get along. Literally,

636
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: same thing every time. She constantly tells me I don't

637
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: tell her everything. I tell her everything, whether it matters

638
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 1: or not. Although when I tell her things that are small,

639
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: she used to get annoyed and say, so, what's it matter,

640
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: et cetera. So I stopped, and now she gets mad

641
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 1: that I stopped. I asked her why she has her

642
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 1: friends spying on me and telling her what I do,

643
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: and she flipped out saying she didn't. She said she

644
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 1: knows everything and guessed and accuse me of putting my

645
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: arm around her friend to trick me into saying I

646
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 1: did liar. She's just lying now, even though I said

647
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 1: I was leaning on her shoulder. Sorry, this paragraph got

648
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 1: me really ranty, but thinking about it makes me mad.

649
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 1: And you know what will make you happy? Joining us

650
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 1: live every weekday at three pmpst just tap her profile.

651
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:37,479
Speaker 2: Tap it.

652
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 1: What really drove me over the edge, to say it

653
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 1: was her telling me that she knows I have multiple

654
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 1: relationships and I should go have fun with my other

655
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 1: girls since she's done with my crap. I told her,

656
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: if you talk to me when you're not being a butt.

657
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 1: After that, I just cried and didn't check my phone.

658
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: Kiberally finds this girl's an emotional chihuahua.

659
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 2: She just wants the emotional drama. She's making it an

660
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 2: emotional drama.

661
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: Exhausting. Yeah, definitely break up.

662
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 2: You know what's very sweet, Like he's going to out

663
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 2: the parties and he's like, I miss my girlfriend. I

664
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 2: wish she were here.

665
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 1: No, literally thinking about her when they're not together, trying

666
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: to find compromises. He was like, do not want me

667
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 1: to go to these parties? I won't And she's still

668
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: getting mad at him for it.

669
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 2: That's wild. If my partner was like if I heard that, like,

670
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 2: oh I don't want to go to parties?

671
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, your partner was like, Kean, you can't go to

672
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: the potlucks anymore?

673
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:27,479
Speaker 2: What would I do?

674
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 1: What do you do?

675
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 2: I'm going to those potlucks. I love those potlucks. I'm going.

676
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, we should go, we should go.

677
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 1: Let's go together.

678
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 2: My husband refuses to work or help at home, so

679
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 2: I'm considering leaving him for the streets. Bye. My thirty

680
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 2: six female husband thirty five male have been married for

681
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,640
Speaker 2: ten years and together for nearly fifteen.

682
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 4: Oh.

683
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 5: Wow.

684
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 2: I was a stay at home mom for eight years

685
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 2: and truly thrived in that role. My husband did jump

686
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 2: from job to job, but was pretty much working full

687
00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 2: time for those eight years while it took care of

688
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 2: the house kids and managed our finances while making extra

689
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 2: money caring for other children in our home. Wow, this

690
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 2: is a supermom right here.

691
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 5: Day more super.

692
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 2: Things were tight, but we managed to buy a house,

693
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 2: build our credit, and live comfortably, if simply by the way.

694
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 2: This comes from user last Regret seventy two oh three

695
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 2: on the r slash ok storytime suburt. About a year

696
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 2: and a half ago, my husband was laid off from

697
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 2: his job. This was not the first job he had lost,

698
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 2: and he complained about this job to no end, But

699
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 2: this was the first job he had lost through no

700
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 2: fault of his own, and became very depressed with the school.

701
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 2: You're coming to a close I suggested that I go

702
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 2: back to work and he'd take the summer to spend

703
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 2: time with our kids and figure out what he wants

704
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,480
Speaker 2: to do, especially to avoid jumping back into another factory

705
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 2: job that he would resent.

706
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 5: Smart, smart, very smart.

707
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 2: He had supported me staying home for eight years, so

708
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 2: I felt like it was the home. It was only

709
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 2: fair he get a turn. I found a part time

710
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 2: job at a law firm and quickly realized that I

711
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 2: really enjoyed the work. My husband spent the first few

712
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 2: weeks of the summer having a blast and soon realized

713
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 2: how much work it took to run a house and

714
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 2: look after the kids. He flattered me by saying that

715
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 2: he had no idea how hard my job had been.

716
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 2: I had kicked so much butt, et cetera, et cetera.

717
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 2: Towards the end of the summer, he got his dream

718
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 2: job at the post office and began work just as

719
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 2: our youngest went to kindergarten. Perfect timing. He quickly began

720
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 2: to resent that job as well. Oh no, and I

721
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 2: started to hear a lot of the same complaints I

722
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 2: have grown used to over the last decade and a half.

723
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 2: My manager is dumb, everyone is out to get me,

724
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:32,959
Speaker 2: et cetera, et cetera. It sounds like your husband just

725
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 2: likes to complain.

726
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:35,560
Speaker 5: I see a common dominator.

727
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 2: There's a very common denominator here. A few months later,

728
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 2: one of our kids got COVID and had to stay

729
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 2: home from school for five days. It's a district policy.

730
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 2: We decided that we would stay home with her, since

731
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 2: I actually enjoyed my job and he seemed eager for

732
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 2: an opportunity to take some time off. He was let

733
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 2: go from his job because of this, as he had

734
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 2: not technically completed his prohibitionary period. At this point, I

735
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,959
Speaker 2: started taking classes at the community college to begin earning

736
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 2: my paralegal degree.

737
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 5: Nice dude, his mom is so sick.

738
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 2: On top of it, I told him that if he

739
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 2: wanted to stay home to take care of the house

740
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 2: and be on call for school emergencies, the difference in

741
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 2: income would actually make me eligible for a full pell

742
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 2: grant to finish my degree in two years. Oh wow,

743
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 2: So this is all working in Op's two years and

744
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 2: for the families matter, because he was like from making bank.

745
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 2: Plus him being home while the girls were at school

746
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 2: would afford him every opportunity to take care of himself.

747
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 2: Get caught up on his healthcare, even give therapy a shot.

748
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 2: He seemed excited about this and has not looked for

749
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 2: work since it's been around a year now, and I'm

750
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 2: feeling very taken for granted, I worked thirty two to

751
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 2: forty hours a week with a full course load and

752
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 2: manage our now TEDSSF finances. He will, for the most part,

753
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 2: load and unload the dishwasher, and wash and dry the

754
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 2: laundry and clean the cap boxes, but usually doesn't clean

755
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:58,720
Speaker 2: anything else unless it becomes filthy, and I try to

756
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 2: help him catch up on the weekend. I still make

757
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 2: all of the kids doctor appointments and remind them to

758
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 2: take them to the doctor appointments, and the prime I

759
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 2: am the primary contact for the school, no matter how

760
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 2: much I try to get him to take the reins

761
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 2: on that. Since he has more time, what do you

762
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 2: think is gonna happen?

763
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 6: I feel like he's going to start getting into more

764
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 6: of a lazy rhythm because it seems like the work

765
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 6: he's doing is decreasing and whenever I remember one time

766
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,800
Speaker 6: when I was in high school, I had one semester.

767
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 6: I had eight classes, plus I had to play basketball.

768
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 6: My grandpa was sick. I made seven a's and one

769
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:33,839
Speaker 6: B and.

770
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 2: Then what a student I know, right, and then student athlete.

771
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 5: Two and a half.

772
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 6: One and a half years later, I had three classes

773
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 6: and I made two b's and one a's because I

774
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:43,880
Speaker 6: didn't have a lot on my plate, and I was like, oh,

775
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,799
Speaker 6: I can I can just wait, I can just chill out.

776
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 5: And I think that's what's going to happen that he's getting.

777
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 2: He's definitely getting more in the group of just like

778
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 2: i'm home, I'll just do the bare minimum.

779
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, not saying he doesn't have a lot of responsibilities,

780
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 6: but I think it's good for people to be challenged

781
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 6: with more responsibilities because it feels like they have to

782
00:34:58,920 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 6: do what they need.

783
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 2: It makes you feel productive.

784
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:01,839
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh yeah.

785
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 2: The fact that he goes to a job and he's like,

786
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 2: I love this is my dream job. Yeah, and then

787
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 2: two weeks later like it sucks. I didn't like that.

788
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 2: Anytime I try to address how overwhelmed I am, he

789
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 2: falls back on how depressed he is. Don't use depression

790
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 2: as like a come on, I get it. I know depression.

791
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 2: It sucks, but you gotta make more of an effort here,

792
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 2: especially with your wife. Being super mom at all that jazz,

793
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:26,960
Speaker 2: while still refusing to go to therapy. Oh boy, I

794
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 2: made him appointments a few times, but he stops going

795
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 2: as soon as the therapist gets past the part where

796
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 2: he gets to complain and starts suggesting changes he can make.

797
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 2: His temper has gotten even shorter with me, and he

798
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 2: has begun losing his temper at the kids as well.

799
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 3: No.

800
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 2: No, he plays hours and hours and hours of video

801
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,760
Speaker 2: games and it's very active on several message boards relating

802
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 2: to his favorite games. He will stay up late into

803
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 2: the night loudly playing games and then bother me for

804
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 2: spicy sleep once he is finally ready for bed, even

805
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 2: though I have to work in the morning. Dude, this

806
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:58,520
Speaker 2: is just a teenager now. You just don't go with

807
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 2: the teenager. Yeah, obviously, the way he had been acting

808
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 2: slash treating me is not attractive at all, and our

809
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:07,839
Speaker 2: spicy sleep life is not great. He claims the lack

810
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 2: of intimacy is now affecting his motivation and self esteem.

811
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:14,879
Speaker 2: He's gaslighting you. He has gained weight in the last year,

812
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,399
Speaker 2: so have I, as this is my first desk job.

813
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 2: But I do not find him any less attractive for

814
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 2: it not to mention. I have been almost every body

815
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,760
Speaker 2: type imaginable at least once in our fifteen years together,

816
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 2: and he never made me feel bad about it. I

817
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 2: am honestly far more turned off by his behavior than

818
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 2: his weight ever could. The house is a wreck. Whenever

819
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 2: I try to help him catch up, I end up

820
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 2: falling behind in school, and anytime I mention anything, he

821
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,839
Speaker 2: will deflect and turn it around into me treating him

822
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 2: like a servant.

823
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.

824
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 2: I get somewhat caught up during school breaks, and I

825
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:47,799
Speaker 2: think that once I graduate, I should be able to

826
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 2: have it back under control. But at this point I

827
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 2: will be doing everything, so it seems pointless to have

828
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,320
Speaker 2: a partner. I know that leaving him will be incredibly difficult,

829
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 2: and I have witness his ability to take out his

830
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 2: frustrations on anyone and everyone around him. I know that

831
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,360
Speaker 2: the current environment is toxic and not the healthiest for

832
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,359
Speaker 2: our children, but I also know that it will become

833
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 2: so much more toxic when I ask for a divorce.

834
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and that he will make the process as

835
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:14,319
Speaker 2: awful for me and collaterally for the kids as he

836
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 2: possibly can. And of course I feel a lot of

837
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:19,439
Speaker 2: guilt because he is clearly depressed. I've had mental health

838
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 2: issues as well, and I know that I have not

839
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 2: always been the best mother or wife that I could be.

840
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 2: But I acknowledge this and I worked on it. You

841
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 2: can work on joining us live every weekday at three

842
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 2: pm PSD just type our profile.

843
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 6: It's tough because he's been to therapy, doesn't seem to

844
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 6: work on it. He is kind of going to a

845
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 6: teenager state. It's not healthy. I think maybe, you know,

846
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 6: try to see if you can salvage it.

847
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 5: One last go, and if not, you're gonna have.

848
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 2: I mean, those sad steps to divorce, because you know,

849
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 2: if you do file for the divorce, it's going to

850
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 2: get very, very messy, especially how he deflects everything.

851
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, back to you.

852
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 2: So if you're like, what's the hardest part here, or like,

853
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,359
Speaker 2: what's the thing that brings nothing to the table? Is

854
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 2: the teenage adult, So that makes sense to divorce. But

855
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 2: I would talk to him like, hey, if you don't

856
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 2: get your act together, I'm gone.

857
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 5: We're done.

858
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:07,839
Speaker 2: Yeah. I am just so exhausted trying to constantly motivate him.

859
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 2: Today I got a call from the school when he

860
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 2: failed to pick up our first grader.

861
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.

862
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 2: He said that he had fallen asleep because he was sick,

863
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:17,839
Speaker 2: and then later on tried to start an argument when

864
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 2: I was having a difficult time getting my six year

865
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 2: old two bed, eventually telling me to f off when

866
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,959
Speaker 2: I shut down his attempt at helping, which was him

867
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 2: yelling at the child. Oh boy, and basically accuse me

868
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,800
Speaker 2: of being a lazy parent who only steps in to

869
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 2: make him look bad. All right, Oh boy, I'm out.

870
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 3: Oh boy.

871
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 2: The fact that that that would drive me through the roof.

872
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm just so tired of how stupid I

873
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 2: feel for trusting him after all the times he has

874
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 2: shown me how unreliable he is. I still love him dearly.

875
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 2: He is truly a kind person when he is happy.

876
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 2: But I think that I might ask him for a

877
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 2: divorce when I am done with school. Would that make

878
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 2: an a hole out of me?

879
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 6: You know, he has worked out a deal, You were like, hey,

880
00:38:57,239 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 6: I can help out, and he's not respecting that.

881
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 5: He's just he's seen it.

882
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 2: Since then, he's gradually just gone downhill, lower and lower.

883
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 2: And the fact that he's just not helping himself, and

884
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,399
Speaker 2: you know what's going on and you pretty much be like, hey,

885
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 2: you need to step up. Yeah, and he's like, no,

886
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 2: I'm not your servant. You're guy slighting me. You're a

887
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 2: lazy parent. I would yeah, yeah, I wouldn't be all right, Uh,

888
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 2: there's nothing more I can do. You are not the

889
00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 2: man that I fell in love with. You literally have

890
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 2: a zero motivation. I know you're depressed again, I know

891
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,839
Speaker 2: depression sucks, but the fact that you are not doing

892
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 2: anything to help yourself with depression, yeah, and just turn

893
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 2: it on the person who loves you the most and

894
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 2: wants the best for you. Brutal. That's the end of

895
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 2: the story. Guys.

896
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 3: My wife is jealous of my friend's fiance, so I

897
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 3: told her off. My wife, thirty five female, and I

898
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 3: thirty six male, are good friends with another couple, my

899
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,840
Speaker 3: best friend Matt, who's thirty six male, and his fiance Rachel,

900
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 3: twenty four female. Rachel models and is very attractive. My

901
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 3: wife is less conventionally attractive, but I fell in love

902
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 3: with her for her humor and good spirit, which I

903
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,240
Speaker 3: personally find more attractive than good looks.

904
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, Nice has a great personality too.

905
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 3: Nice recovery there op By the way, this comes from

906
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 3: user Throwaway Husband to sixty four on the r slash

907
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 3: Okay storytime Stup read it. So recently, I've noticed my

908
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 3: wife making a lot of comments about Rachel, calling her

909
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 3: an airhead and just being kind of mean. When my

910
00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,759
Speaker 3: wife makes these comments in private, I'm able to stand

911
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 3: up for Rachel, but when they're made in public, I

912
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 3: obviously don't want to embarrass my wife by calling her out.

913
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 3: My wife and I went on a trip away with

914
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:29,400
Speaker 3: Matt and Rachel last week, which we had been planning

915
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,839
Speaker 3: for a while and really looked forward to. Okay, at

916
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 3: dinner one night, my wife made a really mean comment

917
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 3: after we started talking about the economy. She remarked, don't worry, Rachel,

918
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 3: you can join in the conversation once the smart people

919
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 3: are done. Ooh. She was the only one who laughed,

920
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 3: and she laughed at her.

921
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 5: Own joe Haha. That's embarrassing.

922
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 3: Yeah. I was completely embarrassed, and once we were alone,

923
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 3: I told my wife she had been really rude and

924
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 3: I was ashamed of her. I told her she needed

925
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:02,840
Speaker 3: to stop making nasty comments, and she agreed, Okay, wow, wow,

926
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,399
Speaker 3: that's surprising. However, the next night, we all went out

927
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 3: to a bar. Rachel was getting a lot of attention

928
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,320
Speaker 3: from guys there who were sending over drinks. My wife

929
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 3: was looking visibly annoyed that she wasn't receiving the same attention,

930
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 3: so I tried to lift her spirits by paying for

931
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 3: all her drinks and making a fuss over One guy

932
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 3: came over and said that Rachel looked just like the

933
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,240
Speaker 3: model Zendea. My wife led out a massive laugh and said,

934
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 3: did you mean to say whoopy Goldberg? All right, now,

935
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:30,560
Speaker 3: you're just come.

936
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 5: On, come on?

937
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 3: That was come on?

938
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 5: I love whoopee.

939
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 3: There's nothing wrong with whoopee. I turned my wife and

940
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 3: straight up said, you really are so jealous, aren't you. Wow?

941
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 3: He's like saying exactly what is in my head? Yeah,

942
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:47,760
Speaker 3: this woman is jealous to the three nth degree of Rachel.

943
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 3: She looked hurt, but didn't have time to respond as

944
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 3: Rachel had left the table in tears. What the hell, dude,

945
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 3: you mean? I followed Matt and told Rachel directly that

946
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,360
Speaker 3: I was so sorry for my wife's words and that

947
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,359
Speaker 3: I was ashamed of her behavior. When I reunited with

948
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 3: my wife, she told me that I was horrible for

949
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 3: calling her jealous. In front of everyone and embarrassing her. Dang, girl,

950
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 3: you're embarrassing him. Yeah, honestly, I told her straight up

951
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,319
Speaker 3: that she was jealous of Rachel, as Rachel is more

952
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 3: attractive than her. Oh man, that's a huge whiff, dude.

953
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:25,240
Speaker 3: I realize now in hindsight that was a very heavy

954
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 3: thing to say, and can see why she would be

955
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 3: hurt by it. However, I stand by the fact that

956
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 3: it was said in anger. Am I the a hole?

957
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 3: And we have an edit. I forgot to mention that

958
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 3: since the trip, Matt has messaged me to let me

959
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 3: know my wife is no longer welcome at their wedding

960
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 3: and that as a couple, himself and Rachel have decided

961
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,840
Speaker 3: they aren't interested in our friendship anymore if my wife

962
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 3: is around. Rachel feels as if my wife has bullied

963
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 3: her and has even suggested that some of the comments

964
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 3: were racially motivated. Wow, I am humiliated. And we have

965
00:42:58,600 --> 00:42:59,319
Speaker 3: another edit.

966
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, dude, I definitely see the racist.

967
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 5: Like thought process.

968
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 3: Where is the lean where is the racist lean? Like

969
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 3: just because she's black or she said?

970
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,879
Speaker 6: One guy was like, oh, she looks like she looks

971
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 6: like Zendeia And yeah, he's more like whoopee Goldberg and

972
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 6: there that might have been the only case we've seen,

973
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:20,840
Speaker 6: but there probably haven't other cases instead of that, like

974
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 6: other flags where she probably like would have said something

975
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 6: like that. I think she's just jealous that she Rachel's

976
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 6: high and she's not exactly.

977
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 3: That's really the root of it is, like she's conventionally attractive,

978
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,799
Speaker 3: and even op was like, my wife's not conventionally attractive,

979
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 3: but I am really attracted to her. Yeah, yeah, is

980
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:40,880
Speaker 3: there any way to write the ship, like, even if

981
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:42,480
Speaker 3: she apologizes, can she fix it?

982
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 6: I think Rachel and have done a good job of

983
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 6: stepping back. So Rachel's probably felt this way in a

984
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 6: lot of other ways, because like girls are mean to.

985
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:50,280
Speaker 3: Each Other's true.

986
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,720
Speaker 6: They really mean, like my girlfriend's going through a situation

987
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 6: with another girlfriend and it's lean.

988
00:43:55,840 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 3: It's pretty like dicey venomous. Yeah, the venomine there, they

989
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 3: really do.

990
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 6: I think like Rachel's been enduring that for I don't

991
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:05,880
Speaker 6: know how long their friendship has been, but probably a

992
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 6: majority of it.

993
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 5: If Rachel would even want a friendship at all.

994
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds I don't think we can't write it.

995
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 3: Sounds like they've established the boundary and they want to

996
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:14,319
Speaker 3: keep it that way.

997
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 5: Yeah.

998
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 3: Sorry for another edit. I just wanted to clarify that

999
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 3: my wife is stunning. Nice, good job. I wouldn't have

1000
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,759
Speaker 3: married her if I didn't think she was beautiful. She's

1001
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 3: just not as conventionally attractive. To me, She's the most

1002
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 3: beautiful woman on the planet, but objectively, Rachel is better looking.

1003
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's just trying to give context, guys.

1004
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 3: Context is key. I'm very open to being the a

1005
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,720
Speaker 3: hole in this situation, but I definitely wouldn't want people

1006
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,680
Speaker 3: to think I'm not attracted to my wife.

1007
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 5: Who do you think they can write the ship?

1008
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't think so. I think the

1009
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:48,280
Speaker 3: only thing that could do it is if his wife

1010
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 3: like fully apologized, But yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen.

1011
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:55,640
Speaker 6: She just have an emotional Catharsis Is that the right word?

1012
00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 3: I think so?

1013
00:44:56,400 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 6: Yeah, emotional consorts confiding and Rachel explained everything and then

1014
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 6: over time maybe he's.

1015
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 3: Had to give them the space to become okay with you, Like,

1016
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:07,959
Speaker 3: it's not going to be anything immediate for sure. Thanks

1017
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,840
Speaker 3: for the feedback, guys. Just to add, although I didn't

1018
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 3: call out my wife in public, I regularly called her

1019
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:16,480
Speaker 3: out in private after she would make comments. The reason

1020
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 3: that we continued to hang out as a group is

1021
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,880
Speaker 3: because my wife reassured me her and Rachel got along

1022
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 3: well and the comments were in good spirit. Matt would

1023
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 3: also continue to invite us out, so I didn't think

1024
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,240
Speaker 3: it was too much of a problem. Also, in regards

1025
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 3: to the free drinks, Rachel accepted them for the table. Ok,

1026
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 3: we all shared the drinks and were joking around. The

1027
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 3: drinks were sent from the same two creepy guys, and

1028
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 3: it wasn't like the whole bar was buying Rachel drinks.

1029
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 3: Thatt isn't insecure and would rather accept the free alcohol.

1030
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:44,800
Speaker 5: Nice.

1031
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 3: Also, my wife earns more than me, so we split

1032
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 3: costs fifty to fifty. Most of the time, I paid

1033
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 3: for her drinks this time to make her feel better nice.

1034
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 3: I also want to make it clear that I don't

1035
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 3: have feelings for Rachel. I think she is a conventionally

1036
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 3: attractive girl and she's a model. I'm not even really

1037
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 3: friends with Rachel. Some of you pointed out she's younger,

1038
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 3: so we don't have much in common. I also want

1039
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 3: to make it clear that my wife is conventionally attractive, also,

1040
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:11,400
Speaker 3: just less so than Rachel. Rachel's a model, my wife

1041
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:11,719
Speaker 3: is not.

1042
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,800
Speaker 6: Let's just get a picture of Rachel and the wife

1043
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 6: real quick till we can all understand what you're trying

1044
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 6: to say.

1045
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 3: Just to be clear, my wife is hot, just not

1046
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 3: as hot. This does not mean I don't think my

1047
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 3: wife is more attractive than Rachel. To me, I just

1048
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 3: mean that objectively, Rachel is better looking. I agree with

1049
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 3: the comments that both my wife and I were a

1050
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 3: holes in this situation. My wife's behavior is unacceptable and

1051
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 3: mine was cruel, and I've probably done some lasting damage

1052
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 3: to my wife's self esteem. I don't think I'm the

1053
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,840
Speaker 3: a hole for failing to call out my wife sooner.

1054
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,399
Speaker 3: I agreed, Yeah, I mean what like.

1055
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 5: In the moment that that comment was, But you.

1056
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 3: Already were calling out your wife too, just not in public,

1057
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 3: which is what you do when you're someone's husband or wife. Like,

1058
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:57,640
Speaker 3: in my opinion, you should never publicly criticize your partner.

1059
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 3: So for me telling her private lead that the joke's

1060
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,399
Speaker 3: where inappropriate is enough. I also want to point out

1061
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 3: that my wife and I have already had couples counseling,

1062
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:08,360
Speaker 3: and my wife had individual therapy nice. When I initially

1063
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:10,799
Speaker 3: made the comment that Rachel is more attractive than her,

1064
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 3: my wife was furious and rightly so yeah, she said

1065
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 3: that it was a cool thing to say and that

1066
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:19,760
Speaker 3: she wasn't jealous of Rachel and insisted that the jokes

1067
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 3: were not offensive and everyone was just tiptoeing around the

1068
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 3: pretty girl. See now that's where you're exposing yourself. Yeah,

1069
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 3: he's wife. You definitely are jealous that she is attractive. Yeah,

1070
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:31,959
Speaker 3: that made no sense.

1071
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 6: Also being insecure that two creepy guys are sending your

1072
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 6: friend drinks.

1073
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,280
Speaker 3: For that to be like the root of the Whoopy

1074
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 3: Goldberg comment is like it's like, oh, you think that

1075
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:43,320
Speaker 3: she looks like hot black models Zendaya, Like, how about

1076
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 3: she looks like arguably not hot black talk show host

1077
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 3: Whoopi Goldberg. And by the way, you can join us

1078
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:53,240
Speaker 3: live on YouTube every weekday at three PMPST just tap

1079
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 3: our profile. When we returned home from the trip and

1080
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:58,920
Speaker 3: I received Matt's message, I let my wife know. At first,

1081
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 3: she was hurt, but she eventually came around and said

1082
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 3: her behavior was inappropriate and nice. She's admitted that she

1083
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 3: is jealous of Rachel due to her looks and was

1084
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 3: embarrassed by her behavior.

1085
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 5: All right.

1086
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 3: I also asked her if she felt as if I

1087
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,719
Speaker 3: found Rachel more attractive than her, but she said that

1088
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,319
Speaker 3: she didn't think that. It was just difficult seeing a younger,

1089
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 3: prettier girl get treated way better than her and she

1090
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 3: felt like a second best. I think my wife noticed

1091
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,320
Speaker 3: Rachel getting special treatment from other people and was jealous

1092
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 3: she didn't receive the same. My wife is sent an

1093
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:31,799
Speaker 3: apology to Rachel, but I don't think the friendship is salvageable.

1094
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 3: I will still attend the wedding, but my wife won't

1095
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 3: be coming along even if she is reinvited. I think

1096
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,399
Speaker 3: it's worth my wife having some more therapy and I'll

1097
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 3: have to rethink things. This has definitely made me see

1098
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:47,399
Speaker 3: things in a different light, and I'm really disappointed. Oh wow,

1099
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,719
Speaker 3: wait what but your wife just I'm confused by this.

1100
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,760
Speaker 6: Whole ordeal has made it made Yeah, like from start

1101
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 6: to now, he's probably disappointed. Even though she is working

1102
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 6: on herself, he still probably has he's reassessing.

1103
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:03,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, reassessment is now in order here. Okay, thanks again

1104
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:06,960
Speaker 3: everyone for the feedback. Cool. Well, I think you have

1105
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:09,319
Speaker 3: some thinking to do. Sounds like she's on the right track.

1106
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 6: She's on the right track, loves to go and I

1107
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,359
Speaker 6: hope her and Rachel can figure something out. Maybe they

1108
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 6: can all hang out as a group.

1109
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:16,760
Speaker 3: Who knows, it might just be time to say goodbye

1110
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:18,880
Speaker 3: to those Yeah, people just might not be working.

1111
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 5: Agreed.

1112
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:23,799
Speaker 3: I had an affair with a married woman, and I

1113
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 3: don't regret a thing. This is gonna be long. Sorry.

1114
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 3: I want to start by saying, I know that infidelity,

1115
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 3: especially within the confines of a marriage, is morally the

1116
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 3: wrong thing to do in pretty much every case. No,

1117
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 3: it's every case. Don't even put the pretty it's every case.

1118
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 5: Solo.

1119
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:43,800
Speaker 3: That said, I do not regret committing that morally incorrect action,

1120
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 3: and that makes me feel guilty or at least conflicted

1121
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 3: by the way. This comes from user deleted on the

1122
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 3: r slash okay story times I read it. I met

1123
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 3: Stacy in high school. We dated a little bit our

1124
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,760
Speaker 3: senior year, with me driving her to school quite often.

1125
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 3: I was mad about her, but I don't know why.

1126
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:05,720
Speaker 3: Looking back. She was just so different than me, very bubbly,

1127
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 3: very happy, always laughing and joking. It was someone I

1128
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,840
Speaker 3: enjoyed being around. We dated all through college, which for

1129
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 3: us meant long distance as I went out of state

1130
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 3: for school. After college, within a year we were engaged,

1131
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 3: oh well, and preparing to move for me to take

1132
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 3: a job. She was incredibly fond of her family and

1133
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 3: therefore found the transition hard. I should also mention here

1134
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 3: that we both grew up religious and therefore probably for

1135
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 3: the worse, waited to have this spicy sleep until marriage.

1136
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 3: We participated in other types of intimacy, but felt that

1137
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 3: we should draw lines somewhere. Well. Once we were married,

1138
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 3: that didn't really ever change. We struggled a lot sexually.

1139
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 3: Stacey never wanted to have the spicy sleep. In fact,

1140
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 3: we never did have spicy sleep, and didn't even try

1141
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:51,880
Speaker 3: to have the spicy sleep for an entire year of marriage.

1142
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 3: She convinced me that my constantly trying to bring up

1143
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:58,879
Speaker 3: sexual contact was actually my own problem and was an

1144
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:03,279
Speaker 3: unhealthy obsession. In the guilt runs deep. She called me

1145
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 3: a pervert for wanting to have the stul relations with

1146
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 3: my own wife.

1147
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 5: Oh boy.

1148
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 3: After a little more than a year of marriage, I

1149
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:13,360
Speaker 3: agreed to do marital counseling. We were supposed to do

1150
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 3: it together, but I agreed to go by myself first

1151
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 3: to feel the person out. Me going by myself at

1152
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,760
Speaker 3: first turned into her never actually going.

1153
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 5: Oh dang.

1154
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 3: She ended up telling me that I needed to work

1155
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,919
Speaker 3: through things and that our problems stemmed from my own

1156
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 3: problems with communication and being in a relationship. Our problems

1157
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:35,400
Speaker 3: were actually entirely my fault. She never went even after

1158
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 3: promising she would go soon for months.

1159
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 5: Dude, that's so tough that she's just putting all the

1160
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:40,760
Speaker 5: blame on him.

1161
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 3: All the blame on the husband.

1162
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 6: I like, in a way, is she even attracted or

1163
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 6: does she still have this religious guilt that this is

1164
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 6: like something she can't even do guilt.

1165
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 3: I think it's like just ten layers of guilt.

1166
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1167
00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 3: It was around this time that I met Jennifer. Jen

1168
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:59,279
Speaker 3: was someone I worked with. She was not someone that

1169
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:02,160
Speaker 3: stood out to me away. I was never looking for

1170
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 3: someone to be with. I thought that I was struggling

1171
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 3: in my marriage, but Stacey had me convinced that I

1172
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 3: was indeed the problem. Stacy was great, after all, and

1173
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:12,759
Speaker 3: I felt like I deserved to put in some work

1174
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:14,799
Speaker 3: to earn her love. The first time I had more

1175
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:18,359
Speaker 3: than a two minute conversation with Jennifer, it was immediately

1176
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 3: apparent that our personalities meshed well. We joked together, and

1177
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 3: she actually listened to me with interest, rather than being

1178
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 3: the more domineering one like Stacy. I slowly realized I

1179
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 3: was looking forward to seeing Jen each day at work

1180
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:33,880
Speaker 3: more than I looked forward to seeing Stacy when I

1181
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 3: got back home. Oh no, oh no, yeah, yeah, you

1182
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 3: are looking so guilty right now, dude saying good look, dude,

1183
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:45,279
Speaker 3: you're like guys. I know it's bad to do infidelity,

1184
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,400
Speaker 3: but she gave me attention. Guys.

1185
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:50,800
Speaker 5: Come on, I have a had spicy sleeping forever.

1186
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:52,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, we talked and it went well, and my wife

1187
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 3: won't have such to me.

1188
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 5: Come on, come on. My point.

1189
00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:58,840
Speaker 3: Jen was married and I was also married, and I

1190
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 3: told myself crushes half and so I needed to just

1191
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 3: refocus my energy on Stacy and our lives together. Stacy

1192
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 3: had in that time, convinced me to move back home

1193
00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:10,759
Speaker 3: and take a different job so we could be back

1194
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,880
Speaker 3: closer to family. As we prepped the move, Jen and

1195
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:16,399
Speaker 3: I somehow spent more time together. She wanted to help

1196
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 3: me pack and told me she would miss my company. Well,

1197
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:21,759
Speaker 3: Jen had a crush on you too. Oh sho uh

1198
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:24,719
Speaker 3: oh after I moved away, I found myself longing for

1199
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 3: Jen's company. I knew I was feeling something that was

1200
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:30,080
Speaker 3: morally wrong to feel. It was only a few weeks

1201
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:32,920
Speaker 3: after this that I confessed to Jennifer over the phone

1202
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:35,640
Speaker 3: that I had feelings for her, and I knew that

1203
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 3: she likely shared those feelings. Oh boy, we both felt

1204
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 3: conflicted and stupid. Jen confessed to me that her husband

1205
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:46,360
Speaker 3: regularly ooh did the big SA.

1206
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:49,040
Speaker 6: Some sensitive content was said here, So basically we're gonna

1207
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 6: sum up that Jen's gap husband was a really bad cool,

1208
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 6: really bad person.

1209
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 3: Very this guy like very bad, this guy no bad.

1210
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 3: Starting to understand why, op, he is not guilty because

1211
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:05,279
Speaker 3: this guy that Jen was married to belongs in a

1212
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 3: black hole? Oh P says. I was appalled to learn

1213
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 3: of her husband's behavior. Stacy sensed my distance from her

1214
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 3: and made an ultimatum to shape up or leave. She

1215
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 3: knew I was pulling back, and in truth, I was

1216
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 3: cause I got a crush on Jen. I had begun

1217
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:23,200
Speaker 3: to realize the way Stacy talked and treated me was

1218
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 3: not loving or appropriate. We had a screaming fight one

1219
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:27,839
Speaker 3: night where she told me that if I couldn't fix

1220
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:31,400
Speaker 3: my communication issues. She wanted a divorce. As soon as

1221
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 3: she said those words, I just said, all right, if

1222
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:35,839
Speaker 3: that's what you want. She didn't know what to do

1223
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:38,160
Speaker 3: from there and just began shouting at me about giving

1224
00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 3: up on us. She was right, I had given up.

1225
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 3: I was already having an emotional affair, though I was

1226
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:45,959
Speaker 3: in denial at the time. The next morning, Stacy woke

1227
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,240
Speaker 3: me up at five am. Her mother on the phone

1228
00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 3: for some reason, and Stacy demanded I tell her for

1229
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,279
Speaker 3: sure if we're getting a divorce, and I said, are

1230
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:55,799
Speaker 3: you sure you want me to decide right now? Her

1231
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 3: mother talked her down. I decided to leave and told

1232
00:54:58,080 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 3: her to give me a few days to think things over.

1233
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,959
Speaker 3: I left, and I drove for hours all the way

1234
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 3: back to see Jen.

1235
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 4: Wow.

1236
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 3: Jen left her house and met me at a hotel,

1237
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 3: and we spent a weekend together. We did do the deed.

1238
00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 3: It was essentially the first time I had done that

1239
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 3: with anyone since Stacy never actually did. We knew we

1240
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 3: were doing something wrong, but frankly, we didn't know how

1241
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 3: else to break away. Jen said she was getting divorced

1242
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:26,960
Speaker 3: from her husband after all the abuse, and thanked me

1243
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:29,200
Speaker 3: for giving her the courage to do so, I told

1244
00:55:29,239 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 3: her I was getting ready for a divorce as well.

1245
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:33,880
Speaker 3: Stacy actually called me while I was with Jen, demanding

1246
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,000
Speaker 3: that I tell her if we're getting divorced. I asked

1247
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:37,759
Speaker 3: her why she couldn't wait for me to get back

1248
00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:40,120
Speaker 3: like I asked, and she said that it wasn't fair.

1249
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:41,879
Speaker 3: So I told her on the phone that we were

1250
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:43,800
Speaker 3: done and I would be back to pack my things.

1251
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:45,960
Speaker 3: I had an affair with Jen. We both had an

1252
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,360
Speaker 3: affair with one another. Actually, I think this was the

1253
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 3: morally incorrect thing to do, but it'll never be morally

1254
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 3: incorrect for you to join us live on YouTube every

1255
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 3: weekday at three PMPST. Just tap our profiles, does tap it?

1256
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:04,759
Speaker 5: So, wow, wowow. On Jin's case, she was in a

1257
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:07,520
Speaker 5: really bad situation. Yeah, it's gotten out of it. Yes,

1258
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:10,600
Speaker 5: that's all we're gonna say. On Gin's case, yeah, the

1259
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 5: best for you.

1260
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 3: Jen one hundred percent needed to get out of that relationship,

1261
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,799
Speaker 3: and I one hundred percent support her being having an

1262
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 3: infidelitous moment with Ope. However, that being sad, I think

1263
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:27,280
Speaker 3: Ope is acknowledging that it's still infidelity and it's more wrong.

1264
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,799
Speaker 3: But I can't believe that I'm now in a place

1265
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:31,560
Speaker 3: where I'm like, yeah, I kind of get it.

1266
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,719
Speaker 6: I understand, I understand. I don't think it was the

1267
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:35,399
Speaker 6: right making. I don't think it was the right thing

1268
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 6: to do. I just think he knows it's the wrong

1269
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 6: thing to do, but he doesn't feel guilty because of

1270
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 6: how much was.

1271
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 3: All the contexts surround it overall really does make it

1272
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:46,319
Speaker 3: and that's why he's conflicted palatable.

1273
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 6: He's like, this is a morally wrong thing, but I

1274
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 6: don't feel guilty because of all the things that have happened.

1275
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 3: I'll certainly say it's not right, but it's way less

1276
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:59,319
Speaker 3: wrong than I anticipated it being. Yeah, several factors still wrong,

1277
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 3: believe it or or not. Nine years later, I am

1278
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 3: still with Jen. Wow. Oh my goodness, that's unexpected. Oh wow, Well,

1279
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:09,399
Speaker 3: I guess it was the right move.

1280
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 5: After this is a rom com. This is just literally

1281
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:12,760
Speaker 5: a rom com.

1282
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:15,680
Speaker 3: Just this is a whole movie script for sure. I

1283
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:17,800
Speaker 3: moved to a whole other part of the country and

1284
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:20,360
Speaker 3: got a new job, and we've now been married for

1285
00:57:20,480 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 3: seven years. We are incredibly in love. We do have

1286
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:26,680
Speaker 3: scars mentally and emotionally speaking from the experiences in our

1287
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:30,440
Speaker 3: first marriages, and we also have occasional problems with jealousy

1288
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:33,080
Speaker 3: of coworkers or friends, but we have always been upfront

1289
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 3: and honest about those And honestly, I don't see this

1290
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 3: relationship ever ending, or at least nowhere near like the

1291
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:41,160
Speaker 3: way my last one did. I don't know what I'm

1292
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 3: looking to gain here. I just know that engaging in

1293
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 3: infidelity is wrong, and I don't want to excuse it,

1294
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 3: but for me, I would never take it back. Maybe

1295
00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 3: we just had a good reason you did, but either way,

1296
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:54,800
Speaker 3: we're happy. And I felt the need to put this

1297
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 3: all down. I don't know why. Thanks for reading. Well,

1298
00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:00,320
Speaker 3: it's called catharsis op and you needed a little bit

1299
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 3: of it. Yeah, and I hope you got some.

1300
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:04,800
Speaker 6: I'm glad that they stuck together with the person that

1301
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 6: she did had an affair with.

1302
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:06,800
Speaker 5: That's good.

1303
00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 3: I wasn't expecting to get the nine year fast forward.

1304
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:11,520
Speaker 3: But it's nice that you guys are still together.

1305
00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:12,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's that's amazing.

1306
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 3: If you're gonna commit infidelity, it might be well be

1307
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 3: with someone you stay with for a decade, right, yuh?

1308
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 6: And both of the both of their partners were so

1309
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:23,040
Speaker 6: self centered, Jen and it seemed like, oh, pe wanted

1310
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 6: to give and like have like a you know, thriving relationship,

1311
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:27,400
Speaker 6: and they were able to thrive with one another.

1312
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,680
Speaker 3: Stacy has really escaped any sort of criticism from us

1313
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 3: during this time.

1314
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 5: I already know how.

1315
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:34,920
Speaker 3: I don't think Stacey's like, we don't got to waste

1316
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:38,880
Speaker 3: any breath on Stacy. No, it's all here what Stacy is.

1317
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:42,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I'm just surprised she agreed to get married.

1318
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:44,280
Speaker 3: Well, they were doing it, and I'm probably the in

1319
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 3: the spirit of the Lord. Yeah they were. Definitely that

1320
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,200
Speaker 3: was a young I definitely marriage to mistake.

1321
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 5: People that are probably doing with that right now.

1322
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh definitely. Well that's just what happens when you

1323
00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:57,960
Speaker 3: let like hardcore ideology. I mean not calling just like

1324
00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 3: Christianity hardcore, but like where it's you gotta wait till

1325
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,640
Speaker 3: marriage and then you gotta be with this person, and

1326
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:04,720
Speaker 3: it's like then if you don't, if you ever leave

1327
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:07,760
Speaker 3: that person, it's you're you've made a huge mistake and

1328
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:09,920
Speaker 3: you are wrong in the eyes of God.

1329
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:12,480
Speaker 6: Adultery is like one of the ten commitments, not to

1330
00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:13,880
Speaker 6: commit adultery.

1331
00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:13,680
Speaker 4: Is it?

1332
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:14,960
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I didn't even know that.

1333
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:17,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, that's one of the there's even one more

1334
00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 6: that's like, don't even think about being with another person,

1335
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 6: because if you think about it, then you're basically committing it.

1336
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:22,720
Speaker 3: Oh wow,