Speaker 1: So I have been doing some posts on relationships dating.
Speaker 1: There's this thing where there's like I need a guy
Speaker 1: in finance six or five, trust Fun blue Eyes. That
Speaker 1: girl that amazing, she marketed it, she capitalized it. It's
Speaker 1: now songs everywhere. But I really thought about who that
Speaker 1: guy is, because whether good or bad, I've dated every guy,
Speaker 1: and my issue has never been capturing men. I have
Speaker 1: mad game, and I'm not saying that any sort of
Speaker 1: narcissistic or conceited manner. It's just a fact. And I
Speaker 1: don't know if it's my life of navigating situations or
Speaker 1: being emotionally intelligent, or inheriting it from my mother, because
Speaker 1: in my life, my problem has never been captured during men,
Speaker 1: intoxicating men, getting men. It's been wanting to be with
Speaker 1: the men, or choosing the right men, or not going
Speaker 1: with my gut. But I also have made so many mistakes,
Speaker 1: and truthfully, it's not that I don't even meet amazing men,
Speaker 1: because I do. And it's not that I don't meet
Speaker 1: amazing men that want to marry me and fall in
Speaker 1: love with me, because for the most part, I've never
Speaker 1: had a problem meeting men because I've usually been the
Speaker 1: least interested party. But I definitely have a lot of
Speaker 1: wisdom to share on dating because I don't have to
Speaker 1: want to be with the men. My biggest issue has
Speaker 1: been not wanting to be with the men. And believe me,
Speaker 1: I've been in therapy for years. But I don't get
Speaker 1: cheated on, I don't get left, I don't get broken
Speaker 1: up with. That's just not my area for whatever reason.
Speaker 1: So I am absolutely qualified to discuss dating, getting the guy,
Speaker 1: getting the good guy, not settling, not dating down all
Speaker 1: of it, I mean, without getting into any kind of detail.
Speaker 1: If I'm dating, my house becomes a florist, becomes the
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. So like it, don't like it, I
Speaker 1: don't really care. But people on social media are devouring
Speaker 1: my brief and spitting facts dating advice, So I thought,
Speaker 1: why don't I take it over here to you. You
Speaker 1: guys are loyal, You guys are dating at many different ages.
Speaker 1: You know, dating applies to someone fourteen to someone eighty five.
Speaker 1: I mean, there are many different layers to it. And
Speaker 1: I don't stutter or flinch when I think about how
Speaker 1: qualified I am to discuss what other people should do.
Speaker 1: Doesn't mean and by the way, I do take my
Speaker 1: own advice. Not everybody wants to be married, not everybody
Speaker 1: wants to be legally married. Not everybody wants to be
Speaker 1: in a relationship. And guess what society tells women in particular,
Speaker 1: They talk down as if you're getting a cookie or
Speaker 1: getting a trophy like everybody else, Like it's okay to
Speaker 1: be alone. They don't really mean that, because society also
Speaker 1: says is I'm married, and you should want to be
Speaker 1: married too. And the people who are more pushing the
Speaker 1: marriage product are the people that are miserable in their
Speaker 1: own marriages. Because I am not anti marriage. I think
Speaker 1: marriage and commitment and partnership are amazing. I'm not anti
Speaker 1: women stay at home moms. I think being stay at
Speaker 1: home mom is amazing. I'm here forgetting what you want
Speaker 1: and you being honest about what that is. If inside
Speaker 1: your body you want to be alone, it's okay to
Speaker 1: want to be alone. And sometimes you think you don't
Speaker 1: want to be alone and you want to be in
Speaker 1: a partnership because that's what everybody makes you think you
Speaker 1: are supposed to want. So you're always pushing for this
Speaker 1: thing you're supposed to want, somebody to complete you somebody
Speaker 1: to buy you things, somebody to support you. You want
Speaker 1: the dress you want, the wedding you want, the ring
Speaker 1: you want, the trappings you want, the experience you want,
Speaker 1: the attention you want, the honeymoon you want, the vacation
Speaker 1: you want, all these things you want. The doctor you want,
Speaker 1: the rich guy you want, the car you want to
Speaker 1: be taken care of. And it may not be which
Speaker 1: you actually want. And you have to find what you
Speaker 1: really want, and how do you do that? You must
Speaker 1: be capable of being alone. It is scary, It is haunting.
Speaker 1: It can be traumatic. When you're in a bad relationship,
Speaker 1: it seems like it might be better than being alone.
Speaker 1: Being alone sounds like doom and gloom, the big monster.
Speaker 1: Guess what being alone can be? Amazing? Is actually amazing,
Speaker 1: And you know what, being alone is the best way
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship because if you can be
Speaker 1: comfortable and love yourself and be happy for a significant
Speaker 1: period of time. I don't mean for a week after
Speaker 1: a breakup. I mean if you commit to being alone
Speaker 1: for six months. And that doesn't mean you're not dating,
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you're not sleeping with people, doesn't mean you're
Speaker 1: not meeting people, doesn't mean you don't want a life
Speaker 1: partner ultimately or think you do. It means you have
Speaker 1: to become happy, comfortable, and safe being alone. That's when
Speaker 1: everything will come to you. That's when all the opportunities
Speaker 1: will come. That's when you will be making decisions out
Speaker 1: of truth, not fear. Have to be capable of loving
Speaker 1: yourself and being a full enough, whole person to be alone,
Speaker 1: and that's when the guys, the men, the boys, the charmers,
Speaker 1: the flowers, the gifts, the opportunities will fly in. Another
Speaker 1: thing that needs to be dispelled. So by the way,
Speaker 1: it's okay to want to be alone for a period
Speaker 1: or forever. Another thing that needs to be dispelled is
Speaker 1: that looks have anything to do with capturing a man
Speaker 1: or a boy or a woman. Whether you're gay, straight,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter or another. It is nothing to do
Speaker 1: with looks. I have sat at tables with multiple twenty
Speaker 1: seven year olds that are stunning. One is much better
Speaker 1: looking than the others. I mean people that could be
Speaker 1: my daughter. I mean people that literally are half my age,
Speaker 1: crying they can't meet somebody. They're no good guys, They've
Speaker 1: got extensions, they've got lashes, they've got made. Why they're
Speaker 1: focusing on the frosting. They're focusing on the frosting. They're
Speaker 1: not focusing on the cake. You know what the cake is?
Speaker 1: Who you are. I have had men that are used
Speaker 1: to banging hot models down in Miami, eating out of
Speaker 1: my hand, literally worshiping me, throwing money at me, wanting me,
Speaker 1: wanting me to commit to them, saying to me, you
Speaker 1: are the least vain person I've ever met in my life.
Speaker 1: They're shocked at themselves. They can't believe they're going out
Speaker 1: with someone my age that allows themselves to walk around
Speaker 1: in pajamas. Sometimes it doesn't give a shit. We'll say anything,
Speaker 1: do anything, be anything, because I'm comfortable in my own skin,
Speaker 1: shoes on my feet, eye bottom. I depend on me.
Speaker 1: So i am a full person. Yes I'm evolving. Yes
Speaker 1: I've got problems. Yes, my mother dying was a transformative experience. Yes,
Speaker 1: I've made horrendous, horrific, life altering mistakes in relationships. No
Speaker 1: I'm not perfect. Yes I'm flawed, but this is what
Speaker 1: this is. I am a fully put together dresser. I
Speaker 1: am not a piece of Ikea furniture. I come fully
Speaker 1: put together. No one needs to come in and pay
Speaker 1: for my dental work. No one needs to support me,
Speaker 1: no one needs to completely no one needs to define me,
Speaker 1: no one needs to put me back together. This is
Speaker 1: me and men are drawn to that because I am
Speaker 1: shocked too. At whatever age I've come out of being
Speaker 1: in a relationship, I am always like, what the fuck
Speaker 1: I'm thirty two, Holy shit, I'm thirty seven, I'm thirty five,
Speaker 1: I'm this no age, I'll be ninety single and men
Speaker 1: I'll be at my doorstep. Why Because I'm fun, I'm enjoyable.
Speaker 1: And women, you even read that book The Giving Tree,
Speaker 1: women are the taking tree, particularly divorced women that have kids. Somehow,
Speaker 1: they get some plastic surgery. They look hot, they work
Speaker 1: out at the gym. There's semi interesting. They think that
Speaker 1: men are just gonna like want to support them, support
Speaker 1: their kids, support their program, buy them new tits, get
Speaker 1: them dental work. What men don't want that. The one
Speaker 1: thing men don't want now is to have to fucking
Speaker 1: be supporting a female charity. They don't want the women
Speaker 1: become the taking tree. The older, they get them more entitled,
Speaker 1: they get thinking yes things. I tell you that you're
Speaker 1: the prize you are the price. I hope you're the prize.
Speaker 1: You know how to beat the prize. Have your own job,
Speaker 1: your own income, your own security. You come in not
Speaker 1: like a piece of Ikea furniture in the box. But
Speaker 1: women come with a bunch of fucking issues, luggage problems, bills, screws,
Speaker 1: pieces of wood. They want to walk in and think
Speaker 1: a man's gonna want to put them together. Why, that's
Speaker 1: a beating. That's a bunch of work. No, you come
Speaker 1: in and it freaks them out. It's almost like gaslighting.
Speaker 1: They don't even know what to do with it. They're
Speaker 1: in such shock by meeting this alien unicorn. Woman who
Speaker 1: can support themselves, is smart, can go head to head
Speaker 1: with them in any business conversation, and is confident and
Speaker 1: is the least interested party in the business deal. That's
Speaker 1: how to get a man. And I've had men that
Speaker 1: are so good looking you would die, like you would
Speaker 1: die the best looking man you've ever seen that, And
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen the first minute. The first minute, you're
Speaker 1: a basic pitch like every other basic bitch. But how
Speaker 1: do you Jedi mind trick them? How do you enter
Speaker 1: them into the mind control program? How do you show
Speaker 1: them that you are different. Well, you just are different.
Speaker 1: You're confident first, you're always no games, clear communication. The
Speaker 1: dumb dumbs of the world pretend that when you sleep
Speaker 1: with someone actually matters. You know when that matters, when
Speaker 1: you're a desperate, thirsty person who's panic stricken over when
Speaker 1: they're going to call you, you know, and it doesn't
Speaker 1: matter when you're in control of your own body. A.
Speaker 1: You may not like someone that much and you know
Speaker 1: you're not going to be with them. Then if you
Speaker 1: want to have a sexual encounter, fine, B. You've spent
Speaker 1: some time with the person. You've emotionally hooked them in
Speaker 1: so much that it wouldn't really matter. Or even after
Speaker 1: you sleep with them, you get the ball back by
Speaker 1: just being disinterested. If you are great in bed and
Speaker 1: great in person, they're gonna want to come back for more,
Speaker 1: and you can readjust you will have a better emotional
Speaker 1: experience if you don't sleep with someone earlier, because you're
Speaker 1: setting yourself up for success. It's better odds. But if
Speaker 1: a guy can feel that you're game playing and why
Speaker 1: you're not sleeping with them, then it doesn't even matter.
Speaker 1: You're a desperado. That's like read some dumb book about
Speaker 1: when not to sleep with someone that's equally as desperate
Speaker 1: and as much of a turn off. But that's not
Speaker 1: how you know. If you've had seven drinks and you're
Speaker 1: a drunk disaster and start to sleep with someone, yeah,
Speaker 1: then you're a mess who's on in control of your
Speaker 1: own life. But don't do that anyway. Two drinks maximum.
Speaker 1: It's like the opposite of a comedy club. Two drinks maximum.
Speaker 1: You're not in fucking first year of college pounding querrevo
Speaker 1: shots and I don't care how old you are. Keep
Speaker 1: yourself together, keep control of your wits, and be a
Speaker 1: grown ass woman. If you're going to go on a
Speaker 1: date and want to meet a grown ass man. Because
Speaker 1: water seeks its own level, you will reap what you sow.