WEBVTT - #109 Walt Dis-Nuts 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:07.280 Start uf dot Up, Start Up, Brooklyn Buy Start Up, 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:15.520 Brooklyn buys dot Data. They making noise Data Dot Up. 0:00:15.640 --> 0:00:21.120 Episode one oh nine. It's the Brooklyn Boys podcast winding down. 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:24.920 And you said that in a winding down kind of voice. 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:28.480 I'm exhausted. We are very tired. So as of this taping, 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:30.080 we went to Q and or two is jingle Ball 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:32.560 last night. There are jingle balls twell with them around 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:35.280 the country. We have New York's jingle Ball tomorrow night, 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:38.040 Friday the thirteen, yea. And so we got home like 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:40.040 one o'clock at one one o'clock in the morning last night. 0:00:40.200 --> 0:00:42.880 You know, I get up at four thirty. So I 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:46.320 went to uh stops off at a dunkin Donuts on 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.400 the way to I know, I didn't go for food. 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:53.120 The bus had to drive through the Holland Tunnel from 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:58.720 Jersey tight and there was gas stations in Jersey. So 0:00:58.840 --> 0:01:01.680 because I live in Jersey, You're like, hey, don't why 0:01:01.800 --> 0:01:03.520 why would I fight? First of all, there was traffic 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:06.280 going need to Manhattan at that hour, and then it 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:08.440 was traffic probably on the way back that there was 0:01:09.120 --> 0:01:11.920 one o'clock in the morning Manhattan travel. Do I want 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:14.160 to smack myself in the head of an hour's worth 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:16.880 of traffic in both directions. No, So what I did was, 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:20.039 I said, hey, I'll get out here. I'm gonna get 0:01:20.040 --> 0:01:21.920 out here because I live in Jersey City and I'm 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:25.120 gonna take an uber to my apartment like any Jersey 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:28.240 resident should have done. But wait, hold on, then I 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:31.160 got Then I'm like, okay, I'm standing in a convenience 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:33.600 store because it's twenty degrees outside waiting for my uber. 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:36.160 So I went to go buy some nuts. I said, 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:38.480 I gotta buy something because you can't really heck, a 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:42.840 gum stays by the gum. What's the cheapest thing in 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:46.440 a convenience store. Well, usually it's the gum. First of all, 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:48.760 I'm not out of my mind, right, you have to 0:01:49.120 --> 0:01:51.480 if you're gonna and as I said this on the 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:53.840 radio this morning and the Big Show, if you're gonna 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:57.640 enjoy their warmth because you're waiting for something else. You're 0:01:57.720 --> 0:02:02.800 killing Okay, you're killing time standing around at midnight and 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:06.200 they're watching you from behind the counter. They know, dann 0:02:06.240 --> 0:02:08.440 well what you're doing. You're waiting for an uber and 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:11.000 they just came in to be warm and you look shifty, 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:13.919 let's not get ourselves. And so I'm sitting during the 0:02:13.960 --> 0:02:15.480 bottle of wine. What are you carrying off the bus? 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:20.920 The water cups had Andrew best descisions assistant. Andrew had 0:02:20.960 --> 0:02:23.360 the cups, I had the wine. I had the cups. 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:26.880 And then our Gandhi was with us and our buddy Casey. 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:30.440 So four of us walk in to the convenience store 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:32.720 where the bus dropped us off right waiting for our 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:35.799 ubers to pick us up from there. So, so, rather 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:37.600 than buy gum, what did you buy? Just to the 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:40.839 mixed nuts, almonds? Almonds? I don't eat. I don't eat gum. 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:44.560 It's the almonds. I don't eat gum. I eat almonds. 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:47.400 I eat my almonds. So I figured I want to 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:49.040 buy something that I said it both ways in the 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:50.680 same sentence. I want to eat something and I can. 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:52.280 I want to buy something I can eat. So you 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:54.160 know that not that annoying commercial with the guy says 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:55.960 I love almonds and the guy goes, you mean almonds, 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:59.919 you like almonds. I love almonds. So in New York, 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.480 in this area, people are known to say almonds. One 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:05.000 of that kind of time to go all the all, 0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:07.760 the all, all slows us down. It really does. We 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:09.320 could have seen a Broadway show in the time it 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:12.720 takes to do that. All. Yeah, So anyway, am I 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:16.440 wrong for buying something I would have? Now you bought 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:18.639 mixed nuts is fine, and you're grossly over paying, But 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:21.359 that's fine. I would have had the gum, but I 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:23.440 took the almonds home. Now with a good mixed nuts 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:25.760 that have cash shoes or they yes, I'm gonna cash 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:27.280 you guy. I'm ann cash you guy. Ease the whole 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:28.880 purpose of mixed nuts that have cash shoes and then 0:03:28.919 --> 0:03:32.520 whatever else. Well, you know, some of the planters planters 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:37.160 cans now say actually less than peanuts because they know 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:40.720 peanuts peanuts is garbage. But let me tell you. Nuts 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:42.480 are the friend that you invite to the party that 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:44.600 you have to invite or because you have to you 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:47.000 have to fill up seats or something like, oh, you know, 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:48.320 we have a lot of extra food, why don't you 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:50.400 invite those. First of all, peanuts are not nuts. We 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:54.280 know that there the peanut is not. No one would 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:57.680 know or care what a lagom is if it wasn't 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:00.360 for peanuts being lagoms. But I will tell you that 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:02.160 doesn't mean you don't like other lagoons. I'm saying the word, 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:05.440 which also means they have zero health benefit or very 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:06.960 little health. So why are they in a can of 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:09.720 mixed nuts? Because it's shipped And I would go over 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:13.560 the hierarchy of nuts right now, because it's schmick. It's 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:16.840 schmicked nuts. Okay, I'm just here's by the way, you've 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:20.600 been saying spagel wrong, she bagel, No, No, that's like sheboyan, 0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:25.640 it's spagel, she bagel right, she bagel right, right bagel. 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:29.479 So almonds are one of the most expensive nuts out there. 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:35.560 We have brazila, I would say, Still, your pistachio is 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:39.440 always very Those are like those are like the those 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:41.400 are like the trifect By the way, if you say cass, 0:04:41.400 --> 0:04:45.600 you're dead to me. Like pecan but worse. So all 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:50.520 those nuts are expensive. Peanuts, no, not up with raisins 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:53.760 and peanuts. So when you buy trail mix, you're pretty 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:58.520 much getting mostly peanuts and raising see something lost them 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:02.080 nothing to put peanuts and a peanut. A peanut is 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:05.160 like one of the cheapest things you could put freak 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:08.160 if you're a peanut farmer. Apologies, But when you call 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:10.680 something trail mix. You're implying it's the chip you'd pick 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:13.000 up as you walked along a trail. Why would you 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:16.159 patch you for that, I wouldn't. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:20.080 and so now they're advertising less than oh hey thanks, 0:05:20.279 --> 0:05:25.039 you know right, you get peanuts, so you still half 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:28.040 the can. He's peanuts. Why don't you advertise like thirty 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:31.200 percent cashows? You know people are gonna pick out the cashows. 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:33.840 My dad was guilty of that. We would go to 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:35.840 people's houses and he would just sit there, like we 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:40.480 got the peanuts, like four walnuts in there, right, there's like, 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:43.880 forget about the almonds. The brazil nuts. We know he's 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:46.080 saying it wrong if you know what that's like. But 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.920 they're giant. They're like big water bug nuts. Yeah, they're huge, 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:53.000 look like hippopotamus tooth. I like the walnuts tend to 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:55.800 be dry though when they're in the mix. You got 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:00.680 wet nuts. Uh, your ice cream depends on the time 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:04.679 of year. You know what nuts? Yeah, it's the sugary, gooey, sugar, gooey, 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:08.120 syrupy stuff that the that the everyone write your own jokes. 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:10.320 There you go do it? Yeah, so there you go. Anyway, 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:12.960 but my point is this, Okay, forget about that. You 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:14.720 had to buy something while you were hanging out, Yes, 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:17.920 and I paid good money for that. But my question 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:23.760 to you, and you're just gonna no, I don't know 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:27.159 this question nothing. It's got nothing to do with any 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:31.840 of No, dill, go ahead. Why the hell did you 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:33.640 drive into the city to begin with? Why did you 0:06:33.720 --> 0:06:36.040 leave your car there? You you're a Jersey resident like 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:37.840 the rest of us. I'll tell you. We got off 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:40.840 the bus and saved yourself an hour of aggravation and 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:44.000 track traffic. Where would I say? Okay, So, just for 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:47.400 the sake of everyone listening, Scary and five or six 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:50.360 other people on the show live right now, let me finish, 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:54.840 live right outside Manhattan, right outside. So for them to 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:57.520 uber into the city's ten bucks, go through the tunnel, 0:06:57.560 --> 0:06:59.600 pay for the tunnel. Whatever. You guys, split an uber, 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:01.400 four of you and it's like ten bucks each. Whatever. 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:05.160 I live a fair amount of a distance away, a 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:07.560 fair distance away from the city, so there is no 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:10.280 inexpensive way for me to go from my house into 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:12.640 Manhattan to not have my car, and then I have 0:07:12.760 --> 0:07:14.560 to come back out and uber back to my house. 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:17.840 So that's why you take a ferry in you take 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:20.920 an uber in. I don't live a stone's throw away 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:23.280 from the tunnel like you do. So I drove into 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:24.800 the city to put my car in the garage at 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:27.120 the company pays for which was which, by the way, 0:07:27.160 --> 0:07:28.720 is a block away from where the bus left the 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:30.760 radio station. I know, but you still have to fight 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:33.640 that traffic on the way back. That that's fine, I'm 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:35.880 that's what put you out at one o'clock. What am 0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:37.200 I gonna do? I have to pay for my car 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:38.760 to be in a parking lot in Jersey so I 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:41.440 can uber into the city. But I would do is 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:44.080 just get off the bus in Jersey and pay Jersey price. 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:47.040 Uber's how did I get in? How did I get to? 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:49.560 How did I get to the city last night? And Uber? 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:52.040 You should have ubered into the radio stage. That's seventy 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:56.320 five dollars from my house next sixty whatever. It is 0:07:56.400 --> 0:07:58.360 a lot of money. I don't live near the city 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:00.760 like you do. Move closer, That's what I'm gonna do. 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:02.400 I'm gonna give up my house in my backyard, in 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:06.720 my pool, buying, trying to at least rent a second 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:10.960 apartment somewhere closer tear my mom. By the way, I 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:12.040 was talking to my mom on the phone. She was 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:13.760 she said to me last night I was driving in 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:17.120 she was get a piano tear? What's that? So hold on? 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:18.480 So I said, what am I stupid? Don't know what 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:21.800 pio terre is? Sorry, scary? There was a joke to 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:23.280 my mom. Obviously a lot of people don't know what 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:27.240 pioto terre is. It means a small apartment other than 0:08:27.280 --> 0:08:30.760 where you live into a city. Right, Where am I 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.839 getting that money from? Money bags? My kids gobble that 0:08:33.920 --> 0:08:38.200 ship up? Are you talking about my presence next week? 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:40.959 That's another thing that I'm you don't have kids. I'm 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:46.280 kind of bota experience questions. Okay, So locien hanak is 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:48.920 eight nights and they say they give eight presents, And 0:08:49.160 --> 0:08:50.880 I thought that was a suggestion, and I thought, you 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:52.640 do that for the kids. What am I gonna bargain 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:54.240 my kids down to four? Is that? What is? You 0:08:54.320 --> 0:08:56.640 make it a joke? If you think about your kids. 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:59.679 Are they're of age now that they understand that they 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:02.680 don't need eight presents? What ages that? What age? Okay? 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:06.600 What aged? Two? Kids don't get presents anymore? Eight? Your ten, 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:14.599 you're twelve nights nights, the holiday stops. I think No, 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:19.240 I think once you hit eighteen, it's hanka give him 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:22.600 one good present. Only one of my kids, only one 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:24.400 of my kids is older than eighteen. First of all, 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:26.960 So that throws out the window your theory. That means 0:09:27.000 --> 0:09:29.800 I'm still at seventeen presents, eight eight and one by 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:32.720 your by your standard. No, but aren't they approaching eighteen? 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:36.880 The next one they're approaching. No, No, they're only one 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:39.240 of them. They're not adults. Hey, so how many presents 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:42.199 you get on Christmas? One? So at eighteen should you 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:45.320 stop getting presents? I get one present from what you're 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:48.520 above eighteen one? Why do you get the required presents 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:51.200 for your holiday? But when my kids turn eighteen, they 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:53.880 should stop getting the required presents because they should know 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:56.959 that that. It put me out. It's like, oh my god, more, 0:09:57.200 --> 0:09:59.240 how do you want me to get cheap with Hanukah? 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:02.439 You don't see the iron with that? It's all we 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:06.080 have scary three kids, we don't have Easter, we don't 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:11.520 have all the other fancy windows is a lot of presents. 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:15.880 It's then not all. They're not all xboxes or or 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:19.679 new television sets. So you wrap up a candle, say 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:23.199 hey here, Oh yeah, that's what my kids want, daddy. Please? 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:26.120 Can I have matches tomorrow night? They go with my candle. 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:28.360 I'm guessing that that's what some people do, and there 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:29.959 are British Jews, but I don't know. I did the act. 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:32.120 You gotta stretch it out a little bit, please, father, 0:10:32.840 --> 0:10:35.440 may have the kind of matches you scratch against the box. 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:40.959 Have some more, please, daddy? Yeah they were Jews in England. 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:43.679 I can use that voice. Please, father. May I have 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:47.400 a matchbook with a fancy restaurant imprinted on it emblazoned? 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:51.080 Now give them gifts, real gifts. You know why they 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:54.240 put up with me the whole year, so they get Oh, 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:56.640 by the way, speaking to my kids. My middle daughter, 0:10:56.679 --> 0:11:00.120 who is not impressed by anything. He's tough cookie in 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:01.720 a goodby. She's the one who wanted the free brownie 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:04.760 because the Haunted Mansion ride was just broke down. She 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:08.360 is she only in that sense, only in that. Everything 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:11.599 else mostly of my wife, which is fine. Um. She 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:15.480 was very excited on Monday or Tuesday night of this 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:20.079 this week today is Thursday. Because she follows our radio 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:23.720 station here in New York's Even hundred their Facebook page, 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:28.599 and on the Facebook story was the article or the 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:32.040 picture of the screenshot of the Brooklyn Boys podcast making 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:35.760 number eleven, which, by the way, I asked the question 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:38.600 today to the I Heart people, how many podcasts saw there? 0:11:38.640 --> 0:11:42.520 Exactly in the company about a hundred and fifty roughly, 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:46.079 we're number eleven. When my daughter saw that, and so 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:49.520 that Zee hundred posted the picture, reposted the pictures. Just dad, 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:53.079 that's really impressive, Like you're actually famous, like this is 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:55.440 this is amazing. It's the first time in a long 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:57.800 time that she's been impressed, like like really, like, wow, 0:11:58.080 --> 0:12:01.040 you are in her world now you you may right, 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:02.840 I made it into our social media. She knows I'm 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:05.360 verified on Twitter, she knows I have a hundred thousand 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:07.599 social media follows. He knows I'm on the show for 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:10.959 many many many, many many many years. But whatever reason, 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:12.960 this really stuck out with her because it's the world 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.520 that she cares about, and I made it into that world. 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:19.559 So congratulations of both pressing my middle my middle daughter, 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:22.480 not not by doing content like this. This is what 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:26.520 the people love. They love it. Um, But now, how 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:28.079 you know, how do where do we go from here. 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:29.839 I mean, how do we how do we take this 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:32.360 eleven in catapult? I don't know if we can if 0:12:32.400 --> 0:12:36.400 we're trying to get information on what the differences between 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:38.480 ten and eleven, like how much did we miss by? 0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:40.719 And our theory is that some of it was the 0:12:40.840 --> 0:12:45.880 post Thanksgiving listenership. I think people had extra time to listen. Yes, 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:49.720 she had a four day weekend, right and I think that, yeah, 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:52.480 but that was the week before. That was a week before. 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:54.240 He doesn't go here, it doesn't count. It was the 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:56.480 week of December two. It was the week that we 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:59.120 put it out on a Monday, wasn't it. No, Now 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:01.920 they we just we kicked ass last week. And I 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:04.520 think people like maybe when maybe they didn't listen to 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.040 it was episode one oh seven. It was the please 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:11.600 pass This one oh eight was the top eleven. It's 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:13.920 the week before, so then wait, this is number one? 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.920 Ten is one on nine? No, we're number one on nine, 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:19.120 number one. I'm saying last episode one oh eight was 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:22.040 was part of keep in mind that any episode they 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:24.400 listened to, and you only get credit for one episode 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:27.599 per day per I can't figure it out. Okay, so 0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:30.839 if you listen to five. If you go on the 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:33.320 I Heart radio app right and you listen to five 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:37.479 episodes on a Tuesday, we get credit for one unique listeners. 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:40.800 I know. But if you were to listened one time 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:43.959 one episode on iHeart and one episode on iTunes and 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:46.880 one episode on Spotify, we would get three because they 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:48.920 don't know. It's the same IP address on your computer, 0:13:49.880 --> 0:13:52.360 once on your desktop, once on your laptop, once on 0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:54.760 your phone. Because I just want to be number ten 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:57.240 once so we could say that and again if you don't. 0:13:57.240 --> 0:13:59.360 If you if you don't download it and you listen 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:01.200 to it twice, it's gonna be like once on Monday, 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:04.160 once on Tuesday. Then we get twice. You know. That's 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:07.160 what authors do by the way they they say they 0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:09.760 get on that New York Times best seller list books 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:12.120 for a week. No, they get on once and then 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.559 for New York Times best Seller forever the rest of 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:18.400 your life. New York Times best seller. But I'm telling 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:20.480 people were a top eleven but doesn't have the sexiness 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:23.760 to it. I will tell you a couple of things. 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:27.280 I heard a couple of things. Number one we beat uh. 0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:29.560 Number twelve is our friend Bobby Bones, who has a 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:33.080 great podcast. Somehow we beat him. I don't know how. 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:37.360 He's a nationally syndicated television star Dancing with the Stars champion, 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:39.920 and next week we're not going to beat him. But 0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:43.200 for one week we beat Bobby Bones and a. I 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:45.480 can't say hoh, I cannot you can't drag it out 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:46.720 of it, can't tweet it, can't tell you about I 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:53.280 just heard a major, major radio broadcaster with multiple podcasts 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:55.960 had them all taken off my heart because there was 0:14:56.080 --> 0:15:00.720 nobody listening. Really, can you tell me off the air already? 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:05.920 I'm gonna shut the mics. Go Yeah, I mean the 0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:08.480 name alone. You're like, what is that like when an 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:12.600 artist decides to uh cancel their contract because the ticket sales, 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:14.720 but then they say it's something else sick. Oh, this 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:17.480 is a person uh is on vocal rest. Vocal rest, 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:19.440 cancel the rest of the Yeah, the doctor said, don't 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:22.160 sing in front of an empty arena. Yeah. Yeah, we 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:24.600 keep giving away these concert secrets. That that's a secret, 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:27.440 by the way, that that sometimes if your favorite performer 0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:33.280 decides to cancel a show randomly, sales sometimes. Listen. When 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:35.120 Shearon fell off a bike and broke his wrist in 0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:38.280 his elbow. That was legit. When Justin timber Lake had laryngitis, 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:42.320 that's different. But if your ticket sales are low, you 0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:45.000 cancel the show. T I did that, and but he 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:47.360 came clean and which I loved. He's like, you know what, 0:15:48.600 --> 0:15:51.560 I just didn't have the ticket. Who said, t I, Right, Well, 0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:54.440 he had to go check his daughter's vagina. They couldn't 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:57.480 perform that night. Dude. Let me tell you that is 0:15:57.520 --> 0:15:59.920 still a six story. That is sick. This is sky. 0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:02.640 If you don't know the t I goes to the 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:06.400 guyacologist every month or every couple of months whatever. He 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:09.960 goes to the guya cologist. No, he you did you 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:12.760 read the story, goes in and he okay, I'm gonna 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:18.040 his daughter to find out. He goes in with his daughter. 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:20.720 The two of them go to our guyo exam and 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.280 he stays there so the daughter can check the old guy, no, 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:27.400 the old hyman, to make sure it's still intact. Now listen, 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:30.640 and if it's not intact, it doesn't mean she had sex. 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:33.040 Could have been horseback riding, and he said, my daughter 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:36.720 on horseback ride. Second of all, t I, your daughter 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:40.640 could be doing stuff, other stuff, lots of things. You 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:43.040 can do lots of things. Five of them just popped 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:46.000 into my head right now, people going five lots of things. 0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:48.600 You can have sex with a lot of different body 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:51.960 pots and keep that in keep that intact. But just 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:54.000 because it's not attacked doesn't mean you had sex either. 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:56.200 It's just an old wives tale, right. If you had 0:16:56.240 --> 0:17:01.000 sex with scary, probably wouldn't break. Oh you're terrible. No, listen, 0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:03.000 girls don't fall asleep with me. They just say, no, 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:06.720 we learned. Can we talk about the falling asleep thing? Yeah? 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:09.520 Can I just speak? I do well? Yeah, we talked 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:11.960 about it last week. We did. We did talk about it. 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:14.200 You want to readdress it or undressed, that's fine. But 0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:17.920 speaking of of the of of penises as we were, 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:20.000 I just want to tell a quick story. I'm on 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:25.240 the UM the B train in Manhattan. Now, some train 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:28.680 lines run they overlap, so for like ten blocks there'll 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:30.639 be more than one train on on the on that line, 0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:33.840 and then they split off. So in midtown Manhattan, the 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:38.159 B train and the D train run on the same track, right, 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:40.040 so when you wait for the train, the B or 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:41.960 the D could show up. I was on the B 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:45.040 and out off the train. And there was a Russian guy. 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:48.920 He doesn't speak English very well, the Russian guy, and 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:51.400 so he's asking people, he's he's, I guess, I don't 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:54.520 I guess I whatever could have been Ukrainian a similar accent, 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:57.439 but I'm gonna blame Russian in this one, even though 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:58.600 I know a lot of people are gonna say that 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:01.119 the guy was Ukrainian. Right, you own joke there. And 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:04.720 so he's walking around going up to people, excuse I 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:09.600 need the D, looking for the D. I need D right, 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:13.000 you know, because the way and recording to what you 0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:15.159 recorded me snoring? That was great. Do you have you 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:17.720 have clip to play? Clip to get that ready? Orange 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:21.360 clip two? This again if you loved it last week. 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:24.120 By the way, calling Marie and Anthony are friends who 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:26.639 have their own show in Seattle. Now. They listened to 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:28.920 the ALPS Straight Morning Show yesterday and heard us playing 0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:33.560 this sound, which we debuted here. They listen to the podcast. Well, 0:18:33.600 --> 0:18:35.880 I told him listen to the podcast because a little 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:39.240 a little secret, you guys, there was more audio of 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:43.240 Skari's commentary on episode one O eight than there was 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:47.480 on the Straight Morning Show. So you guys got bonus slices. Uh, 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:51.360 so uh, just play my favorite snore this one right here. Yeah, 0:18:51.400 --> 0:19:00.960 clip two, I feel like that's a wind up. You know, 0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:07.560 we should make this into a song. I tell you, 0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:10.760 I'll tell you what I know. I know that a 0:19:10.880 --> 0:19:13.680 lot of people that listen to this podcast are pretty creative. Yeah, 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:15.920 I'm gonna put this. I'm gonna I'm gonna play this 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:19.879 again in the clear and along with clip three. Well, no, 0:19:20.080 --> 0:19:24.480 clip one? What three? Is you rambling and talking? Three? 0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:27.880 But it's okay in the clear? One two and three, 0:19:28.080 --> 0:19:30.160 well one is the long one. No one is at hand. 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:33.280 I want you guys to take this and maybe turn 0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:34.920 it into a song. Top it and screw it, and 0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:37.680 we'll play it on the Brook and Boys podcast and 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:39.320 maybe on the Big Show. I like an E d 0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:42.080 M version of You've got to have a lot of 0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:45.000 the the evil laughs, Scary's evil laughs. So here's here's 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:47.480 some of the clips in the clear. Okay, here, take 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:52.000 this and record it. That's not the one. Oh my god, 0:19:52.000 --> 0:20:29.760 I'm I tired. Yeah, yah h m hmm. That's enough. Okay, 0:20:29.840 --> 0:20:31.919 And now this is, by the way, twice so far 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:35.080 in this podcast, Scary has said either I'm tired, I'm 0:20:35.119 --> 0:20:37.240 so tired. You can use that in the song as well, 0:20:37.280 --> 0:20:45.880 either I'm tired or I'm so tired. H And now 0:20:46.520 --> 0:20:59.159 this is uh clip three? Scary? Do you know? Scary you? Okay? Yeah, yeah? Man? 0:21:00.320 --> 0:21:02.040 Do you know you've been sleeping the last ten minutes? 0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:07.919 How do I really mean? I'm still here? Are you drunk? 0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:17.040 Hammered duty? I'm hamburger. You fell asleep, like I don't know, 0:21:17.880 --> 0:21:19.520 ten minutes ago, so I've just been waiting for you 0:21:19.600 --> 0:21:24.439 to wake back up. Okay, I'm right here. How much 0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:28.320 did you drink? A lot? Dude? Dude? I saw some 0:21:28.480 --> 0:21:33.040