Speaker 1: Start uf dot Up, Start Up, Brooklyn Buy Start Up,
Speaker 1: Brooklyn buys dot Data. They making noise Data Dot Up.
Speaker 1: Episode one oh nine. It's the Brooklyn Boys podcast winding down.
Speaker 1: And you said that in a winding down kind of voice.
Speaker 1: I'm exhausted. We are very tired. So as of this taping,
Speaker 1: we went to Q and or two is jingle Ball
Speaker 1: last night. There are jingle balls twell with them around
Speaker 1: the country. We have New York's jingle Ball tomorrow night,
Speaker 1: Friday the thirteen, yea. And so we got home like
Speaker 1: one o'clock at one one o'clock in the morning last night.
Speaker 1: You know, I get up at four thirty. So I
Speaker 1: went to uh stops off at a dunkin Donuts on
Speaker 1: the way to I know, I didn't go for food.
Speaker 1: The bus had to drive through the Holland Tunnel from
Speaker 1: Jersey tight and there was gas stations in Jersey. So
Speaker 1: because I live in Jersey, You're like, hey, don't why
Speaker 1: why would I fight? First of all, there was traffic
Speaker 1: going need to Manhattan at that hour, and then it
Speaker 1: was traffic probably on the way back that there was
Speaker 1: one o'clock in the morning Manhattan travel. Do I want
Speaker 1: to smack myself in the head of an hour's worth
Speaker 1: of traffic in both directions. No, So what I did was,
Speaker 1: I said, hey, I'll get out here. I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: out here because I live in Jersey City and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna take an uber to my apartment like any Jersey
Speaker 1: resident should have done. But wait, hold on, then I
Speaker 1: got Then I'm like, okay, I'm standing in a convenience
Speaker 1: store because it's twenty degrees outside waiting for my uber.
Speaker 1: So I went to go buy some nuts. I said,
Speaker 1: I gotta buy something because you can't really heck, a
Speaker 1: gum stays by the gum. What's the cheapest thing in
Speaker 1: a convenience store. Well, usually it's the gum. First of all,
Speaker 1: I'm not out of my mind, right, you have to
Speaker 1: if you're gonna and as I said this on the
Speaker 1: radio this morning and the Big Show, if you're gonna
Speaker 1: enjoy their warmth because you're waiting for something else. You're
Speaker 1: killing Okay, you're killing time standing around at midnight and
Speaker 1: they're watching you from behind the counter. They know, dann
Speaker 1: well what you're doing. You're waiting for an uber and
Speaker 1: they just came in to be warm and you look shifty,
Speaker 1: let's not get ourselves. And so I'm sitting during the
Speaker 1: bottle of wine. What are you carrying off the bus?
Speaker 1: The water cups had Andrew best descisions assistant. Andrew had
Speaker 1: the cups, I had the wine. I had the cups.
Speaker 1: And then our Gandhi was with us and our buddy Casey.
Speaker 1: So four of us walk in to the convenience store
Speaker 1: where the bus dropped us off right waiting for our
Speaker 1: ubers to pick us up from there. So, so, rather
Speaker 1: than buy gum, what did you buy? Just to the
Speaker 1: mixed nuts, almonds? Almonds? I don't eat. I don't eat gum.
Speaker 1: It's the almonds. I don't eat gum. I eat almonds.
Speaker 1: I eat my almonds. So I figured I want to
Speaker 1: buy something that I said it both ways in the
Speaker 1: same sentence. I want to eat something and I can.
Speaker 1: I want to buy something I can eat. So you
Speaker 1: know that not that annoying commercial with the guy says
Speaker 1: I love almonds and the guy goes, you mean almonds,
Speaker 1: you like almonds. I love almonds. So in New York,
Speaker 1: in this area, people are known to say almonds. One
Speaker 1: of that kind of time to go all the all,
Speaker 1: the all, all slows us down. It really does. We
Speaker 1: could have seen a Broadway show in the time it
Speaker 1: takes to do that. All. Yeah, So anyway, am I
Speaker 1: wrong for buying something I would have? Now you bought
Speaker 1: mixed nuts is fine, and you're grossly over paying, But
Speaker 1: that's fine. I would have had the gum, but I
Speaker 1: took the almonds home. Now with a good mixed nuts
Speaker 1: that have cash shoes or they yes, I'm gonna cash
Speaker 1: you guy. I'm ann cash you guy. Ease the whole
Speaker 1: purpose of mixed nuts that have cash shoes and then
Speaker 1: whatever else. Well, you know, some of the planters planters
Speaker 1: cans now say actually less than peanuts because they know
Speaker 1: peanuts peanuts is garbage. But let me tell you. Nuts
Speaker 1: are the friend that you invite to the party that
Speaker 1: you have to invite or because you have to you
Speaker 1: have to fill up seats or something like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: we have a lot of extra food, why don't you
Speaker 1: invite those. First of all, peanuts are not nuts. We
Speaker 1: know that there the peanut is not. No one would
Speaker 1: know or care what a lagom is if it wasn't
Speaker 1: for peanuts being lagoms. But I will tell you that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you don't like other lagoons. I'm saying the word,
Speaker 1: which also means they have zero health benefit or very
Speaker 1: little health. So why are they in a can of
Speaker 1: mixed nuts? Because it's shipped And I would go over
Speaker 1: the hierarchy of nuts right now, because it's schmick. It's
Speaker 1: schmicked nuts. Okay, I'm just here's by the way, you've
Speaker 1: been saying spagel wrong, she bagel, No, No, that's like sheboyan,
Speaker 1: it's spagel, she bagel right, she bagel right, right bagel.
Speaker 1: So almonds are one of the most expensive nuts out there.
Speaker 1: We have brazila, I would say, Still, your pistachio is
Speaker 1: always very Those are like those are like the those
Speaker 1: are like the trifect By the way, if you say cass,
Speaker 1: you're dead to me. Like pecan but worse. So all
Speaker 1: those nuts are expensive. Peanuts, no, not up with raisins
Speaker 1: and peanuts. So when you buy trail mix, you're pretty
Speaker 1: much getting mostly peanuts and raising see something lost them
Speaker 1: nothing to put peanuts and a peanut. A peanut is
Speaker 1: like one of the cheapest things you could put freak
Speaker 1: if you're a peanut farmer. Apologies, But when you call
Speaker 1: something trail mix. You're implying it's the chip you'd pick
Speaker 1: up as you walked along a trail. Why would you
Speaker 1: patch you for that, I wouldn't. Yeah. So anyway, yeah,
Speaker 1: and so now they're advertising less than oh hey thanks,
Speaker 1: you know right, you get peanuts, so you still half
Speaker 1: the can. He's peanuts. Why don't you advertise like thirty
Speaker 1: percent cashows? You know people are gonna pick out the cashows.
Speaker 1: My dad was guilty of that. We would go to
Speaker 1: people's houses and he would just sit there, like we
Speaker 1: got the peanuts, like four walnuts in there, right, there's like,
Speaker 1: forget about the almonds. The brazil nuts. We know he's
Speaker 1: saying it wrong if you know what that's like. But
Speaker 1: they're giant. They're like big water bug nuts. Yeah, they're huge,
Speaker 1: look like hippopotamus tooth. I like the walnuts tend to
Speaker 1: be dry though when they're in the mix. You got
Speaker 1: wet nuts. Uh, your ice cream depends on the time
Speaker 1: of year. You know what nuts? Yeah, it's the sugary, gooey, sugar, gooey,
Speaker 1: syrupy stuff that the that the everyone write your own jokes.
Speaker 1: There you go do it? Yeah, so there you go. Anyway,
Speaker 1: but my point is this, Okay, forget about that. You
Speaker 1: had to buy something while you were hanging out, Yes,
Speaker 1: and I paid good money for that. But my question
Speaker 1: to you, and you're just gonna no, I don't know
Speaker 1: this question nothing. It's got nothing to do with any
Speaker 1: of No, dill, go ahead. Why the hell did you
Speaker 1: drive into the city to begin with? Why did you
Speaker 1: leave your car there? You you're a Jersey resident like
Speaker 1: the rest of us. I'll tell you. We got off
Speaker 1: the bus and saved yourself an hour of aggravation and
Speaker 1: track traffic. Where would I say? Okay, So, just for
Speaker 1: the sake of everyone listening, Scary and five or six
Speaker 1: other people on the show live right now, let me finish,
Speaker 1: live right outside Manhattan, right outside. So for them to
Speaker 1: uber into the city's ten bucks, go through the tunnel,
Speaker 1: pay for the tunnel. Whatever. You guys, split an uber,
Speaker 1: four of you and it's like ten bucks each. Whatever.
Speaker 1: I live a fair amount of a distance away, a
Speaker 1: fair distance away from the city, so there is no
Speaker 1: inexpensive way for me to go from my house into
Speaker 1: Manhattan to not have my car, and then I have
Speaker 1: to come back out and uber back to my house.
Speaker 1: So that's why you take a ferry in you take
Speaker 1: an uber in. I don't live a stone's throw away
Speaker 1: from the tunnel like you do. So I drove into
Speaker 1: the city to put my car in the garage at
Speaker 1: the company pays for which was which, by the way,
Speaker 1: is a block away from where the bus left the
Speaker 1: radio station. I know, but you still have to fight
Speaker 1: that traffic on the way back. That that's fine, I'm
Speaker 1: that's what put you out at one o'clock. What am
Speaker 1: I gonna do? I have to pay for my car
Speaker 1: to be in a parking lot in Jersey so I
Speaker 1: can uber into the city. But I would do is
Speaker 1: just get off the bus in Jersey and pay Jersey price.
Speaker 1: Uber's how did I get in? How did I get to?
Speaker 1: How did I get to the city last night? And Uber?
Speaker 1: You should have ubered into the radio stage. That's seventy
Speaker 1: five dollars from my house next sixty whatever. It is
Speaker 1: a lot of money. I don't live near the city
Speaker 1: like you do. Move closer, That's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give up my house in my backyard, in
Speaker 1: my pool, buying, trying to at least rent a second
Speaker 1: apartment somewhere closer tear my mom. By the way, I
Speaker 1: was talking to my mom on the phone. She was
Speaker 1: she said to me last night I was driving in
Speaker 1: she was get a piano tear? What's that? So hold on?
Speaker 1: So I said, what am I stupid? Don't know what
Speaker 1: pio terre is? Sorry, scary? There was a joke to
Speaker 1: my mom. Obviously a lot of people don't know what
Speaker 1: pioto terre is. It means a small apartment other than
Speaker 1: where you live into a city. Right, Where am I
Speaker 1: getting that money from? Money bags? My kids gobble that
Speaker 1: ship up? Are you talking about my presence next week?
Speaker 1: That's another thing that I'm you don't have kids. I'm
Speaker 1: kind of bota experience questions. Okay, So locien hanak is
Speaker 1: eight nights and they say they give eight presents, And
Speaker 1: I thought that was a suggestion, and I thought, you
Speaker 1: do that for the kids. What am I gonna bargain
Speaker 1: my kids down to four? Is that? What is? You
Speaker 1: make it a joke? If you think about your kids.
Speaker 1: Are they're of age now that they understand that they
Speaker 1: don't need eight presents? What ages that? What age? Okay?
Speaker 1: What aged? Two? Kids don't get presents anymore? Eight? Your ten,
Speaker 1: you're twelve nights nights, the holiday stops. I think No,
Speaker 1: I think once you hit eighteen, it's hanka give him
Speaker 1: one good present. Only one of my kids, only one
Speaker 1: of my kids is older than eighteen. First of all,
Speaker 1: So that throws out the window your theory. That means
Speaker 1: I'm still at seventeen presents, eight eight and one by
Speaker 1: your by your standard. No, but aren't they approaching eighteen?
Speaker 1: The next one they're approaching. No, No, they're only one
Speaker 1: of them. They're not adults. Hey, so how many presents
Speaker 1: you get on Christmas? One? So at eighteen should you
Speaker 1: stop getting presents? I get one present from what you're
Speaker 1: above eighteen one? Why do you get the required presents
Speaker 1: for your holiday? But when my kids turn eighteen, they
Speaker 1: should stop getting the required presents because they should know
Speaker 1: that that. It put me out. It's like, oh my god, more,
Speaker 1: how do you want me to get cheap with Hanukah?
Speaker 1: You don't see the iron with that? It's all we
Speaker 1: have scary three kids, we don't have Easter, we don't
Speaker 1: have all the other fancy windows is a lot of presents.
Speaker 1: It's then not all. They're not all xboxes or or
Speaker 1: new television sets. So you wrap up a candle, say
Speaker 1: hey here, Oh yeah, that's what my kids want, daddy. Please?
Speaker 1: Can I have matches tomorrow night? They go with my candle.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing that that's what some people do, and there
Speaker 1: are British Jews, but I don't know. I did the act.
Speaker 1: You gotta stretch it out a little bit, please, father,
Speaker 1: may have the kind of matches you scratch against the box.
Speaker 1: Have some more, please, daddy? Yeah they were Jews in England.
Speaker 1: I can use that voice. Please, father. May I have
Speaker 1: a matchbook with a fancy restaurant imprinted on it emblazoned?
Speaker 1: Now give them gifts, real gifts. You know why they
Speaker 1: put up with me the whole year, so they get Oh,
Speaker 1: by the way, speaking to my kids. My middle daughter,
Speaker 1: who is not impressed by anything. He's tough cookie in
Speaker 1: a goodby. She's the one who wanted the free brownie
Speaker 1: because the Haunted Mansion ride was just broke down. She
Speaker 1: is she only in that sense, only in that. Everything
Speaker 1: else mostly of my wife, which is fine. Um. She
Speaker 1: was very excited on Monday or Tuesday night of this
Speaker 1: this week today is Thursday. Because she follows our radio
Speaker 1: station here in New York's Even hundred their Facebook page,
Speaker 1: and on the Facebook story was the article or the
Speaker 1: picture of the screenshot of the Brooklyn Boys podcast making
Speaker 1: number eleven, which, by the way, I asked the question
Speaker 1: today to the I Heart people, how many podcasts saw there?
Speaker 1: Exactly in the company about a hundred and fifty roughly,
Speaker 1: we're number eleven. When my daughter saw that, and so
Speaker 1: that Zee hundred posted the picture, reposted the pictures. Just dad,
Speaker 1: that's really impressive, Like you're actually famous, like this is
Speaker 1: this is amazing. It's the first time in a long
Speaker 1: time that she's been impressed, like like really, like, wow,
Speaker 1: you are in her world now you you may right,
Speaker 1: I made it into our social media. She knows I'm
Speaker 1: verified on Twitter, she knows I have a hundred thousand
Speaker 1: social media follows. He knows I'm on the show for
Speaker 1: many many many, many many many years. But whatever reason,
Speaker 1: this really stuck out with her because it's the world
Speaker 1: that she cares about, and I made it into that world.
Speaker 1: So congratulations of both pressing my middle my middle daughter,
Speaker 1: not not by doing content like this. This is what
Speaker 1: the people love. They love it. Um, But now, how
Speaker 1: you know, how do where do we go from here.
Speaker 1: I mean, how do we how do we take this
Speaker 1: eleven in catapult? I don't know if we can if
Speaker 1: we're trying to get information on what the differences between
Speaker 1: ten and eleven, like how much did we miss by?
Speaker 1: And our theory is that some of it was the
Speaker 1: post Thanksgiving listenership. I think people had extra time to listen. Yes,
Speaker 1: she had a four day weekend, right and I think that, yeah,
Speaker 1: but that was the week before. That was a week before.
Speaker 1: He doesn't go here, it doesn't count. It was the
Speaker 1: week of December two. It was the week that we
Speaker 1: put it out on a Monday, wasn't it. No, Now
Speaker 1: they we just we kicked ass last week. And I
Speaker 1: think people like maybe when maybe they didn't listen to
Speaker 1: it was episode one oh seven. It was the please
Speaker 1: pass This one oh eight was the top eleven. It's
Speaker 1: the week before, so then wait, this is number one?
Speaker 1: Ten is one on nine? No, we're number one on nine,
Speaker 1: number one. I'm saying last episode one oh eight was
Speaker 1: was part of keep in mind that any episode they
Speaker 1: listened to, and you only get credit for one episode
Speaker 1: per day per I can't figure it out. Okay, so
Speaker 1: if you listen to five. If you go on the
Speaker 1: I Heart radio app right and you listen to five
Speaker 1: episodes on a Tuesday, we get credit for one unique listeners.
Speaker 1: I know. But if you were to listened one time
Speaker 1: one episode on iHeart and one episode on iTunes and
Speaker 1: one episode on Spotify, we would get three because they
Speaker 1: don't know. It's the same IP address on your computer,
Speaker 1: once on your desktop, once on your laptop, once on
Speaker 1: your phone. Because I just want to be number ten
Speaker 1: once so we could say that and again if you don't.
Speaker 1: If you if you don't download it and you listen
Speaker 1: to it twice, it's gonna be like once on Monday,
Speaker 1: once on Tuesday. Then we get twice. You know. That's
Speaker 1: what authors do by the way they they say they
Speaker 1: get on that New York Times best seller list books
Speaker 1: for a week. No, they get on once and then
Speaker 1: for New York Times best Seller forever the rest of
Speaker 1: your life. New York Times best seller. But I'm telling
Speaker 1: people were a top eleven but doesn't have the sexiness
Speaker 1: to it. I will tell you a couple of things.
Speaker 1: I heard a couple of things. Number one we beat uh.
Speaker 1: Number twelve is our friend Bobby Bones, who has a
Speaker 1: great podcast. Somehow we beat him. I don't know how.
Speaker 1: He's a nationally syndicated television star Dancing with the Stars champion,
Speaker 1: and next week we're not going to beat him. But
Speaker 1: for one week we beat Bobby Bones and a. I
Speaker 1: can't say hoh, I cannot you can't drag it out
Speaker 1: of it, can't tweet it, can't tell you about I
Speaker 1: just heard a major, major radio broadcaster with multiple podcasts
Speaker 1: had them all taken off my heart because there was
Speaker 1: nobody listening. Really, can you tell me off the air already?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna shut the mics. Go Yeah, I mean the
Speaker 1: name alone. You're like, what is that like when an
Speaker 1: artist decides to uh cancel their contract because the ticket sales,
Speaker 1: but then they say it's something else sick. Oh, this
Speaker 1: is a person uh is on vocal rest. Vocal rest,
Speaker 1: cancel the rest of the Yeah, the doctor said, don't
Speaker 1: sing in front of an empty arena. Yeah. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: keep giving away these concert secrets. That that's a secret,
Speaker 1: by the way, that that sometimes if your favorite performer
Speaker 1: decides to cancel a show randomly, sales sometimes. Listen. When
Speaker 1: Shearon fell off a bike and broke his wrist in
Speaker 1: his elbow. That was legit. When Justin timber Lake had laryngitis,
Speaker 1: that's different. But if your ticket sales are low, you
Speaker 1: cancel the show. T I did that, and but he
Speaker 1: came clean and which I loved. He's like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I just didn't have the ticket. Who said, t I, Right, Well,
Speaker 1: he had to go check his daughter's vagina. They couldn't
Speaker 1: perform that night. Dude. Let me tell you that is
Speaker 1: still a six story. That is sick. This is sky.
Speaker 1: If you don't know the t I goes to the
Speaker 1: guyacologist every month or every couple of months whatever. He
Speaker 1: goes to the guya cologist. No, he you did you
Speaker 1: read the story, goes in and he okay, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: his daughter to find out. He goes in with his daughter.
Speaker 1: The two of them go to our guyo exam and
Speaker 1: he stays there so the daughter can check the old guy, no,
Speaker 1: the old hyman, to make sure it's still intact. Now listen,
Speaker 1: and if it's not intact, it doesn't mean she had sex.
Speaker 1: Could have been horseback riding, and he said, my daughter
Speaker 1: on horseback ride. Second of all, t I, your daughter
Speaker 1: could be doing stuff, other stuff, lots of things. You
Speaker 1: can do lots of things. Five of them just popped
Speaker 1: into my head right now, people going five lots of things.
Speaker 1: You can have sex with a lot of different body
Speaker 1: pots and keep that in keep that intact. But just
Speaker 1: because it's not attacked doesn't mean you had sex either.
Speaker 1: It's just an old wives tale, right. If you had
Speaker 1: sex with scary, probably wouldn't break. Oh you're terrible. No, listen,
Speaker 1: girls don't fall asleep with me. They just say, no,
Speaker 1: we learned. Can we talk about the falling asleep thing? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Can I just speak? I do well? Yeah, we talked
Speaker 1: about it last week. We did. We did talk about it.
Speaker 1: You want to readdress it or undressed, that's fine. But
Speaker 1: speaking of of the of of penises as we were,
Speaker 1: I just want to tell a quick story. I'm on
Speaker 1: the UM the B train in Manhattan. Now, some train
Speaker 1: lines run they overlap, so for like ten blocks there'll
Speaker 1: be more than one train on on the on that line,
Speaker 1: and then they split off. So in midtown Manhattan, the
Speaker 1: B train and the D train run on the same track, right,
Speaker 1: so when you wait for the train, the B or
Speaker 1: the D could show up. I was on the B
Speaker 1: and out off the train. And there was a Russian guy.
Speaker 1: He doesn't speak English very well, the Russian guy, and
Speaker 1: so he's asking people, he's he's, I guess, I don't
Speaker 1: I guess I whatever could have been Ukrainian a similar accent,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna blame Russian in this one, even though
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people are gonna say that
Speaker 1: the guy was Ukrainian. Right, you own joke there. And
Speaker 1: so he's walking around going up to people, excuse I
Speaker 1: need the D, looking for the D. I need D right,
Speaker 1: you know, because the way and recording to what you
Speaker 1: recorded me snoring? That was great. Do you have you
Speaker 1: have clip to play? Clip to get that ready? Orange
Speaker 1: clip two? This again if you loved it last week.
Speaker 1: By the way, calling Marie and Anthony are friends who
Speaker 1: have their own show in Seattle. Now. They listened to
Speaker 1: the ALPS Straight Morning Show yesterday and heard us playing
Speaker 1: this sound, which we debuted here. They listen to the podcast. Well,
Speaker 1: I told him listen to the podcast because a little
Speaker 1: a little secret, you guys, there was more audio of
Speaker 1: Skari's commentary on episode one O eight than there was
Speaker 1: on the Straight Morning Show. So you guys got bonus slices. Uh,
Speaker 1: so uh, just play my favorite snore this one right here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: clip two, I feel like that's a wind up. You know,
Speaker 1: we should make this into a song. I tell you,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I know. I know that a
Speaker 1: lot of people that listen to this podcast are pretty creative. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put this. I'm gonna I'm gonna play this
Speaker 1: again in the clear and along with clip three. Well, no,
Speaker 1: clip one? What three? Is you rambling and talking? Three?
Speaker 1: But it's okay in the clear? One two and three,
Speaker 1: well one is the long one. No one is at hand.
Speaker 1: I want you guys to take this and maybe turn
Speaker 1: it into a song. Top it and screw it, and
Speaker 1: we'll play it on the Brook and Boys podcast and
Speaker 1: maybe on the Big Show. I like an E d
Speaker 1: M version of You've got to have a lot of
Speaker 1: the the evil laughs, Scary's evil laughs. So here's here's
Speaker 1: some of the clips in the clear. Okay, here, take
Speaker 1: this and record it. That's not the one. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm I tired. Yeah, yah h m hmm. That's enough. Okay,
Speaker 1: And now this is, by the way, twice so far
Speaker 1: in this podcast, Scary has said either I'm tired, I'm
Speaker 1: so tired. You can use that in the song as well,
Speaker 1: either I'm tired or I'm so tired. H And now
Speaker 1: this is uh clip three? Scary? Do you know? Scary you? Okay? Yeah, yeah? Man?
Speaker 1: Do you know you've been sleeping the last ten minutes?
Speaker 1: How do I really mean? I'm still here? Are you drunk?
Speaker 1: Hammered duty? I'm hamburger. You fell asleep, like I don't know,
Speaker 1: ten minutes ago, so I've just been waiting for you
Speaker 1: to wake back up. Okay, I'm right here. How much
Speaker 1: did you drink? A lot? Dude? Dude? I saw some
Speaker 1: things tonight that I cannot believe, Like what all kinds
Speaker 1: of cheap and country going on? All right? Let me
Speaker 1: hear that E D M song? What you got? We
Speaker 1: should give him a price. I feel like we should
Speaker 1: do something here on the spot. I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: have anything for you right now, but we'll come up
Speaker 1: with someone. We'll come up with something. By the way,
Speaker 1: I just want from last week is longer. We don't
Speaker 1: want the parts from last week. We want the ones
Speaker 1: we just played these three right? The other one is
Speaker 1: too beepn We just what you heard here? Turn that
Speaker 1: into a song. Let it go viral on YouTube or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe that's how we'll get from number
Speaker 1: eleven to number ten. Yeah, maybe that's not a bad idea.
Speaker 1: Uh tells of the Cocktails the I Heart Radio podcast
Speaker 1: with our friends Astra, Wendy Wild, Daniel DeLillo, and West.
Speaker 1: So the four of them, Uh, they do a fun podcast. Uh.
Speaker 1: They talked about us a lot on their most recent episode,
Speaker 1: and they were supposed to do a conversation about the
Speaker 1: Vadge game, which we talked about here, and they solicited
Speaker 1: for questions on their instants story. Then West, who has
Speaker 1: a real job here in the building, had to go
Speaker 1: do I T stuff and had to walk out of
Speaker 1: the podcast, so they didn't get to do it. So
Speaker 1: they're gonna do it on their next episode next week,
Speaker 1: and then we'll play clips of them talking about the
Speaker 1: vague game, which they already credited us with bringing to
Speaker 1: their attention. We're very excited for this. I believe one
Speaker 1: of them had heard of it and a couple of
Speaker 1: them haven't, so veatch game on. Uh yeah, and there
Speaker 1: you go. Uh should we talk about what happened to
Speaker 1: you want to jin a ball? Last night? I mean,
Speaker 1: and it's on the table with you and the mistaken identity.
Speaker 1: So okay, no, no, no, because it didn't honestly, your
Speaker 1: take on this is not the way, okay, but the
Speaker 1: second guy's take on it was the same as my take. So, uh,
Speaker 1: there was somebody we wanted to meet. We talked about
Speaker 1: meeting them because we hadn't met them as part of
Speaker 1: the q on O two staff. Although we're part of
Speaker 1: the radio station, we haven't met everybody, so, uh, we
Speaker 1: don't have to mention names. Right. There was like, there's
Speaker 1: a guy who works there and he has a very
Speaker 1: unique hairstyle and uh he had colored it for the night,
Speaker 1: right bright colored whatever. Well, well, you know, we'll call
Speaker 1: him Mike for the sake of this. And uh, so
Speaker 1: we were looking forward to meeting him. So I met him,
Speaker 1: a great guy. And then, uh, he happens to be black,
Speaker 1: at least they we thought he was black. Dogs No,
Speaker 1: Gandhi's was Indian. He's half Mexican and half did you ask? Okay,
Speaker 1: So he's okay, but he's very dark skin compared to
Speaker 1: me and scary, right and so, and he has curly
Speaker 1: hair and we said, okay, okay, So I thought he
Speaker 1: might be black anyway, he's not. He's not, but we
Speaker 1: thought he might be. Anyway. Uh, We're in this big
Speaker 1: room with chafing dishes and food, and you can go
Speaker 1: on either side of the table, right, so you can
Speaker 1: go around the other side, and it's fruit and vegetables.
Speaker 1: And once I was turkey and stuffing or whatever, and
Speaker 1: so I was on the turkey and stuffing side, of course,
Speaker 1: and Scary was on the vegetable side, and I got
Speaker 1: I was wondering if he had met this we'll call
Speaker 1: him Mike, and so I don't know if this was
Speaker 1: a guy standing next to me. I didn't go on
Speaker 1: the food line. And uh, I said, hey, hey's Scary.
Speaker 1: Have you had a chance to meet Mike? And he
Speaker 1: says he looks up, he sees me and this guy
Speaker 1: is standing next to me, which I didn't notice, who
Speaker 1: happens to be black as well, or again uh black.
Speaker 1: And he goes, oh, yeah, hey, yeah, I'm at him,
Speaker 1: and he says it in a way that implies that
Speaker 1: the guy next to me is Mike. And he's like, hey, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm ad him. Yeah. So the guy says, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not Mike Man. Mike's over there. Because the guy
Speaker 1: picked up the vibe that you were saying, oh, you
Speaker 1: have dark skin, you must be Mike, and that you
Speaker 1: were confusing the two. So I left my ass off
Speaker 1: privately when I walked away, because you definitely mammanned him
Speaker 1: like you really didn't though. See that's where you're wrong.
Speaker 1: Not according to Mike number two. I thought you thought
Speaker 1: the guy behind you was Mike. So Brodie thinks that's him, right,
Speaker 1: So I said, Hi, how are you? What's your name?
Speaker 1: I knew Mike was, but the guy picked up on
Speaker 1: that immediately was like, no, I'm not Mike Man all right.
Speaker 1: I didn't do any I didn't do it on purpose,
Speaker 1: and I know, but it was an awkward moment, wasn't
Speaker 1: It was awkward for you know, it was awkward because
Speaker 1: knowing you, it definitely could have happened my poor tenderloin.
Speaker 1: And I walked away. I feel like you're I think
Speaker 1: you actually thought it was for a second. Not I
Speaker 1: never thought it. I met him, like ten, I met
Speaker 1: him just a few minutes earlier, and I couldn't I
Speaker 1: can't miss that hair. He did have funky hair, like
Speaker 1: noticeable hair. But obviously Mike number two got the impression.
Speaker 1: You have to admit that he definitely thought you were
Speaker 1: saying all Mike's look alike. Right, So for a minute
Speaker 1: down my call. By the way, are we going to
Speaker 1: post a picture of the box of snow flakes? Yes?
Speaker 1: After yes, by the time this podcast comes out. So
Speaker 1: backstage there's all the So Jingle Bowl tours twelve cities,
Speaker 1: and not every city has the same artists. Katie Perry
Speaker 1: only playing Los Angeles Kiss FM and Los Angeles. Some
Speaker 1: people are only like Taylor Swift only playing New York
Speaker 1: Manhattan's e one hundreds of gingle Bowl Friday's birthday. As
Speaker 1: a matter of fact, she's thirty years old tomorrow when
Speaker 1: you hear this Friday. And but the same crew. We
Speaker 1: have a national Jingle Bowl team at I Heeart Radio
Speaker 1: and they take everything and go from city to city, uh,
Speaker 1: setting up the concerts. So last night in Philadelphia, qua
Speaker 1: jingle Boat the well Wells Fargo can Arena. Obviously, every
Speaker 1: time I say arena, you give me ship it was
Speaker 1: Far Center. Thank you, I'm making funny you because you
Speaker 1: keep I think it was the Wells Fargo Arena. But
Speaker 1: this is maybe the second one, and they tell the
Speaker 1: first one down. I think the first one was the
Speaker 1: Wells Fargo. Anyway, it doesn't matter, beautiful, beautiful building, by
Speaker 1: the way, love it, Okay. So in the back hallways
Speaker 1: we were in the backstage, and but all the the
Speaker 1: in a little hallway, all the green rooms and the
Speaker 1: backstage rooms and everything, there were boxes like crates. One
Speaker 1: of them was a giant black crate by the way,
Speaker 1: also not Mike, and a little Scary. For a second
Speaker 1: was like, is that Mike? Uh? It was said Katy
Speaker 1: Perry on it, but Katy Perry wasn't there, but it
Speaker 1: was Katie Perry stuff. So in one of the hallways
Speaker 1: was cardboard boxes and it said Lizzo and Halsey and
Speaker 1: it was confetti. And then I guess Katie Perry does
Speaker 1: like a snow thing in Los Angeles for Christmas, where
Speaker 1: maybe her her part of her stage thing is to
Speaker 1: make it snow. So all the boxes said some of
Speaker 1: them said Katie Perry and said her pile, and a
Speaker 1: lot of them just said snowflakes. Love it. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna post a picture. I took a picture at Scary
Speaker 1: and another one without love. I love snowflakes. So I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is where they they ship them
Speaker 1: in out in boxes. Now it's like fucking snowflakes. Flakes
Speaker 1: really piss me off. Actually they make me eat. They
Speaker 1: make me want to eat. And I tell you how
Speaker 1: to delete a snowflake off the elves straight in morning
Speaker 1: show account. Right, this is your first episode listing. You
Speaker 1: never heard the brooken By podcast. Go back and listen
Speaker 1: from zero and then finally listen in order. I played
Speaker 1: listen to order jingle in a while. By the way,
Speaker 1: if you're offended by the term snowflake, you're you're a snowflake.
Speaker 1: Here's snow flake. Yeah, So that we're like, we got
Speaker 1: a big kick out of the fact that a boxes
Speaker 1: of snowflakes. So then we walked by that stack of
Speaker 1: boxes three or four times. Lizzo had gone on stage already,
Speaker 1: she had already performed, and there was a box that
Speaker 1: said Lizzo on it because we had passed it like
Speaker 1: six times. Now, granted it could be Lizzo's box for
Speaker 1: Friday night, but she hadn't used the Lizzo box last night.
Speaker 1: What's in it? I wonder? So I walked by and
Speaker 1: I go, well, guess Lizza didn't need the box. So
Speaker 1: Gandhi from our show says, I dare it? Open it up?
Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't do it. It's like, so I ran
Speaker 1: back because everyone was walking. What was it? And I
Speaker 1: ripped open the box. It was just confetti, nothing special.
Speaker 1: It was Lizzo confetti. Okay, it was those pieces, right,
Speaker 1: So did you take a DNA test to prove that
Speaker 1: I did? I did, and uh it was Minnesota Vikings colors.
Speaker 1: We're getting seriously, holidays are upon us, of course, and
Speaker 1: it's really difficult. It's a seg to hold back on
Speaker 1: the eating all that in the industry, it is difficulty.
Speaker 1: Somehow You've kept track all year, Brodie, you are a
Speaker 1: better man than I. Well, but it knows that, yeah,
Speaker 1: because you know, you know me fourth quarter scary, fall
Speaker 1: off the wagon, eat everything inside, and uh, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do my detox and about it. No, I know you,
Speaker 1: but you think you got something really going that that
Speaker 1: works for you. And that's it works for a lot
Speaker 1: of people. And I've out to see TV commercials and
Speaker 1: I feel like those are almost as good as our
Speaker 1: radio commercials. It also feels like, hey, they're joining my
Speaker 1: club because you knew about it first, Like, who are
Speaker 1: these people talking about Noon, We've been talking about Noon.
Speaker 1: I think it was gosh was it February? Downloaded the
Speaker 1: app and I started using it. Um Noon is an
Speaker 1: app that but it re retrains you how to eat,
Speaker 1: not necessarily what to eat. You can still eat what
Speaker 1: you want, but it guides you into eating the right amount,
Speaker 1: the right frequency of those items you want. Chocolate cake.
Speaker 1: You can have chocolate cake, you just can't have it
Speaker 1: every meal. Noon is a great way to track and
Speaker 1: keep up and and retrain yourself on what to do
Speaker 1: and how to maintain. And it's psychological too, because you
Speaker 1: feel better about yourself. It's about learning the healthier habits
Speaker 1: um and and having more energy. Yes, exactly. So they figured,
Speaker 1: why don't we combine that along with an online community
Speaker 1: and some support it and be held accountable all in
Speaker 1: one app. Well, let's put that all together. That's what
Speaker 1: newm is. You can compare notes and get advice from
Speaker 1: other users. You have uh, you have people assigned that
Speaker 1: you can reach out to and they give you guidance
Speaker 1: if you if you slip up, if you miss a
Speaker 1: day within the app, there will be someone who will
Speaker 1: tell you how to get back on the program how
Speaker 1: to help you unslipped, so to speak. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: did no food is good, bad or off limits. Noon
Speaker 1: teaches moderation and it can be used in conjunction with
Speaker 1: many pre existing population and the database of food when
Speaker 1: you enter, like, oh well, let me see how many
Speaker 1: calories is in this thing? How how much am I
Speaker 1: allowed to eat of this? The database and Noon is
Speaker 1: massive and we're always on the go. We we don't
Speaker 1: have a lot of time in our day to commit
Speaker 1: to this kind of stuff. Um, it's like ten minutes
Speaker 1: a day sets you just go to the app a
Speaker 1: couple of times, you check in, you monitor what you're eating.
Speaker 1: The app does all the rest. It helps you through
Speaker 1: the process. You've fallen off the wagon a few times,
Speaker 1: we all have. You know, we're human. And if you
Speaker 1: don't use the app for a few days, they give
Speaker 1: you an a leert and say, hey, everything good. What
Speaker 1: can we do it to have no shaming in this thing? Um?
Speaker 1: And you could always start the next day with a
Speaker 1: clean slate. That's what's great about Noon. Now Here is
Speaker 1: the easy pot how to get it right. It's free.
Speaker 1: You downloaded, sign up for your free trial at Noon.
Speaker 1: That's n O o M dot com slash Brooklyn. That's right,
Speaker 1: that's it. That's all you gotta do for your free
Speaker 1: trial visitingon dot com slash Brooklyn. All right, start your
Speaker 1: trial today noon dot com slash Brooklyn the less weight
Speaker 1: loss program that you will ever need. Hey, this is
Speaker 1: Joe Gatto from Practical Jokers, and you're listening to two
Speaker 1: guys from the second best borrow in New York after
Speaker 1: Statonland of course, the Brooklyn Boys with Scary and Brody.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you would play play the one of Joe
Speaker 1: Gatto saying good name first, what are you talking about? Well,
Speaker 1: a minute ago you played the Joe Gatto with Scary
Speaker 1: and Brody. But there is I think you took your
Speaker 1: phones not heard it? Nice? Try slipping in it, but
Speaker 1: I had Okay, that seems fair. That seems fair. Um,
Speaker 1: speaking of this time of year which we have been um,
Speaker 1: uh have you seen this catalog Victoria's Secret? No, I
Speaker 1: got a real problem. I got a real problem. Shopper Image.
Speaker 1: If you don't know Shopper Image. They used to have
Speaker 1: a store in every mall and it happened to that,
Speaker 1: well people started shopping online and you know, so Shopper
Speaker 1: Image sells the coolest gadgets, the the unique chairs and
Speaker 1: games and cameras and speakers and waterproof stuff, and they
Speaker 1: they haven't. They used to have a section for facial massages,
Speaker 1: but those were you know, vibrators and stuff. Brookstone had
Speaker 1: that too, say Brookstone kind of took over where so
Speaker 1: Brookstone I don't know if they still have it, but
Speaker 1: I remember a couple of years ago we walked in
Speaker 1: Brookstone basically get a free massage in the chair. But
Speaker 1: he does that, and they had a facial massage or
Speaker 1: area and it was all you know, the those Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was all you know, the fake penises. My kids
Speaker 1: are like, oh look, dad, face massages. I gotta go.
Speaker 1: They have Lilo's in there, you know Lilo Stitches Friend,
Speaker 1: No Lilo, that Leela. They're called the Leela Vibrator Uh
Speaker 1: collection there there. Yeah, I'm sure say something. When I'm
Speaker 1: killing time in Brookstone, I'm hanging out in the virtu
Speaker 1: are explains why you're walking funny? Okay, So there's there's
Speaker 1: a section. This is the holiday catalog that I had
Speaker 1: shipped Holiday Hits. It's called and there's some kid who
Speaker 1: looks very awkward playing a video game on the cover.
Speaker 1: He's not look, he's like my arm. Nobody's arm bends
Speaker 1: that way. But anyway, so it says gifts for guys.
Speaker 1: There's a U a hacker proof wallet like a bifold wallet.
Speaker 1: Way like, we're gonna be meeting more and more as
Speaker 1: these UM we can walk by people see things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can steal the freakings off the credit cards. You
Speaker 1: reredic cards. Radiot not a commercial. They have like a
Speaker 1: putting green. They have a golf club that shoots out beer.
Speaker 1: Look and the cool uh they have drones. They have
Speaker 1: virtual reality drones. You put the virtual reality goggles on
Speaker 1: and you fly the drone. I guess it look makes
Speaker 1: you It makes it look like you're flying over really
Speaker 1: cool places, but you're you're just standing in the same
Speaker 1: shitty neighborhood you always live in. UM. They have like
Speaker 1: a blow torch to lightwood, a a tool kit on
Speaker 1: wheels that your shopper shopper image, Thank you, shopper image.
Speaker 1: They're very good. Is not a sponsor and that's not
Speaker 1: why I'm bringing this up. And then they have like
Speaker 1: shower stuff. They have some kind of fat This is
Speaker 1: a fat belt that's kind of weird. Uh, and they
Speaker 1: have like your a backscratcher. They do a great job
Speaker 1: giving you products that they make you think you need,
Speaker 1: but you really don't. Now I need one of these.
Speaker 1: That's not my issue. Now, I'm not a woman. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you know that. I think I've mentioned
Speaker 1: that once or twice. Not. I checked every night, check
Speaker 1: every night, I do a visual check, I do a
Speaker 1: little lift up. I don't think they would want, you know,
Speaker 1: they would not. They would not. So I'm looking at
Speaker 1: gifts for her. And although there's a warming blanket um
Speaker 1: most of them. By the way, this one looks like
Speaker 1: this personal massager right there. That's a dil though. Well, okay,
Speaker 1: that's the thing. It's a double end. Time I see
Speaker 1: the word personal massager, it says the heat is amazing.
Speaker 1: Now it says it's velvety, velvety soft, come on now,
Speaker 1: velvety soft, cordless, easy to use, is spilt in heated,
Speaker 1: technologular motion. Choose from ten massage patterns and intensity, silicon
Speaker 1: silicone design, completely waterproof and washabowl for use in the
Speaker 1: shower or bathtub. Huh really right, but not it's not
Speaker 1: a gift from then that's their way Hold on a second.
Speaker 1: That's their way of slipping a vibrator right into the magazine.
Speaker 1: And you know, the same kid who's standing on the
Speaker 1: cover playing a video game, who may pick up that
Speaker 1: magazine that vibrator ad will go right over his head
Speaker 1: because it says personal massagy. Well that's how he's how
Speaker 1: he's sitting. Yeah, personal massage. But that's not my problem.
Speaker 1: So press first of them. Why can't a man have
Speaker 1: a person's I want to give? By the way, by
Speaker 1: the way, you do not want anything sharper in terms
Speaker 1: of when you're talking about a press, melvety soft. Right,
Speaker 1: But here's my problem. The next three pages are almost
Speaker 1: all her permanent and painless pesky facial hair removal products. Uh,
Speaker 1: touch up your face. It looks like a little thing
Speaker 1: that you zapped the skin on your face. Then it
Speaker 1: says for the ladies remove hair permanently with this cordless
Speaker 1: led home elect Charles is kit Hey ladies, Hey ladies.
Speaker 1: Then is the light therapy reduced the signs of aging
Speaker 1: using the wrinkle reducing neck therapy system? All right, so
Speaker 1: far I don't see where you're going with this. So
Speaker 1: my my problem is, let recap on what they have
Speaker 1: for men, they have electric razors. We shave our faces
Speaker 1: every day, no problem, drones, blow torches, beer dispensing, golf clubs,
Speaker 1: so a putting green. Basically like men's stuff, hobbies and
Speaker 1: for a tool kit. For women, it's not. It's self care. Well,
Speaker 1: not only self care, but almost there's all of these.
Speaker 1: A lot of them are wrinkle and face hair removers.
Speaker 1: How do you say, Merry Christmas, get rid of your mustache?
Speaker 1: Here you go, Hey, you know those wrinkles on your neck?
Speaker 1: I love you? Like the Peloton commercial. The Peloton commercial
Speaker 1: got a lot of heat because they were like dudes
Speaker 1: giving his wife an exercise bike like she should be
Speaker 1: working out. I'm not gonna get into that right now,
Speaker 1: but my point is, can you now listen if you
Speaker 1: want Okay, that's where I'm going. If your wife wanted it,
Speaker 1: I feel like you should just buy it for horror
Speaker 1: or tell her to go buy it, like order it
Speaker 1: and buy it whatever. But that doesn't be a Christmas
Speaker 1: present or hank president. My girlfriend loves to cook. I'm
Speaker 1: she may I may buy her some you know, pots
Speaker 1: and pans and things. Okay, not the ross romantic, but
Speaker 1: you know what that says a little bit. It might say,
Speaker 1: I know you have a love for cooking. Here's some
Speaker 1: pots that to help with your journey. You're a chef.
Speaker 1: I live for your cooking. Well that's what I wanted
Speaker 1: to be. But you know what they're gonna tell me.
Speaker 1: They're gonna say, oh, you know what, cook for me.
Speaker 1: That's not what I'm doing here. You know, the one
Speaker 1: year I got a lot of heat from this entire
Speaker 1: morning show was the year that I bought her a
Speaker 1: kitchen aid mixer. She never had one. Guess what they're expensive?
Speaker 1: And she like, they started to fifty and then they
Speaker 1: go up like three and don't get me started on
Speaker 1: the attachments for the meat grinder and the spaghetti maker
Speaker 1: and missed that and the and this fucking every piece
Speaker 1: of metal that attaches to the damn thing. You're in
Speaker 1: a you're in over a thousand bucks. You want the
Speaker 1: big you want the big glass bowl instead of the
Speaker 1: freaking metal one. And Brodie, I swear to you the
Speaker 1: year that I bought that, everyone looked at me funny
Speaker 1: because Telly, would you get would you get? Girlfriend? Said?
Speaker 1: I got her kitchen a kitchen need Mixerbalt Cobalt blue
Speaker 1: was it cobalt blue. That's very nice. She loved it.
Speaker 1: She loved it. It was great. I love it. Okay,
Speaker 1: you started immediately making cakes and batters and mixes, and
Speaker 1: she used it every chance she got, because I know
Speaker 1: that cooking is her second favorite thing to do. Okay,
Speaker 1: But what if hear me out here? What if you say, hey, Robin,
Speaker 1: I got your something for Christmas? You know I love you.
Speaker 1: Here's a face zapper mustache remover. What would she say
Speaker 1: to that? That's off the table. I can't do that right.
Speaker 1: What if you got her a neck wrinkle remover? What
Speaker 1: if you got her a personal massager? Well, that and
Speaker 1: she would be into vice versa. It would be into her.
Speaker 1: You'd be cool with that, would you? Would you buy
Speaker 1: your woman a personal face? Yeah? Why not? But but
Speaker 1: the neck see the wrinkle remover. Now you're getting that's
Speaker 1: going too far, because see, cooking speaks to a hobby
Speaker 1: that she loves, which, as you said, it opens the
Speaker 1: door for that. It's not necessarily like ye grill me
Speaker 1: a steak in this, you know, because it's a non glamorous,
Speaker 1: non fancy present. But when you start speaking about personal
Speaker 1: care and things that are irreversible, like getting older. I
Speaker 1: don't think that's I don't I think that's a bad gift.
Speaker 1: There's a difference in the gift of cookware versus neck remo,
Speaker 1: you know, wrinkle remover. How about this, The fat freezer
Speaker 1: chin and Next sculpting system achieve a more radiant, fat
Speaker 1: free appearance. The fat free chin and Next sculptings. Now,
Speaker 1: people are listening to this podcast who got these presents
Speaker 1: for their loved ones, and they're like, what are you
Speaker 1: guys crazy? You guys are crazy. I would love that, okay.
Speaker 1: Or I bought that from my my girlfriend or wife
Speaker 1: and she loved it. But you understand it's a two
Speaker 1: part problem here. I'm a woman right now listening to
Speaker 1: this podcast, and I wouldn't mind that, okay, But why
Speaker 1: did the guy get all the tools, the cool stuff,
Speaker 1: Because we don't give a fuck. We're lazy, fat slobs.
Speaker 1: We don't care about ourselves. Is that why we have
Speaker 1: to have our tool our tools on wheels and sucking
Speaker 1: moles growing out of my freaking back and hair coming
Speaker 1: out of my ears. They do have a care, they
Speaker 1: do have a they do have a nose trimmer, okay,
Speaker 1: And they do have a face shaver and a back shaver.
Speaker 1: But here. But here's what I'll say, because my wife said,
Speaker 1: when I showed her this, she said, well, you know, uh,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with buying a guy a nose tremor? They
Speaker 1: guys want nose tremors. I said, here's the difference, men,
Speaker 1: bye bye. Genetically, being men, we have a hair in
Speaker 1: our nos and it sometimes grows longer than our knows, right,
Speaker 1: so you want to trim and to trim that ship up.
Speaker 1: But women don't want to be told they have a mustache.
Speaker 1: They don't like if I have a mustache, I get
Speaker 1: a trimor for it, I'll turn that mustache off. Genetically,
Speaker 1: according to society, I'm supposed to have a mustache. Women
Speaker 1: genetically estrogen Uh, estrogenally not a word? What the fun
Speaker 1: is that? Right? Don't normally have a lot of facial hair. Okay,
Speaker 1: So my point is, where are the cool gifts for women? No?
Speaker 1: I know where you're going with this now, now I understand,
Speaker 1: but there's not It's not like page four has like
Speaker 1: golf clubs for women. Guys like gadgets, and we don't
Speaker 1: give a funk about our health or our body or
Speaker 1: the way we look, I get that appearance, and women
Speaker 1: believe oppositly they care about all of that. I tweet
Speaker 1: us at David Brodie had scary Jones at the Brooklyn Boys. Ladies, ladies,
Speaker 1: do you want your man or your woman? You know?
Speaker 1: I would imagine if you're a lesbian, it's even worse.
Speaker 1: There's not even other woman saying you're harry, like, hey,
Speaker 1: I don't need it, but you do, like it's I
Speaker 1: think it's worse lesbians tweets. Is it worse if another
Speaker 1: woman tells you you get wrinkles and mustaches? Lee's at, dude,
Speaker 1: did you just miles lesbians? It's up? Males don't do that.
Speaker 1: I only said Leslie's because back in the days of
Speaker 1: smart beep and beepers, you couldn't write lesbians. So you
Speaker 1: know you have the code words with the numbers where
Speaker 1: you know you turned turned that. I don't think some
Speaker 1: people look look the letters on the phone, the numbers
Speaker 1: on the phone, and then you turn it upside down.
Speaker 1: You can make boobies. You could write boobies, which is
Speaker 1: like to let the number zero zero three, so shell oil, right,
Speaker 1: but you could you don't calculator couldn't do lesbians. You
Speaker 1: can only write Lezzie's. Okay, that's a sad, which is
Speaker 1: down seven. How did we as a society? How did
Speaker 1: we advance? Three? Five five one three five l Leslie's
Speaker 1: ends with a with a S five and you have
Speaker 1: to go backwards. Don't have to do that. You know
Speaker 1: your headache. Welcome to smart people, So so let me
Speaker 1: ask you questions. You're going to defend your slur because
Speaker 1: in the eighties you use the pager and like to
Speaker 1: type it out. Nineties nineties, Yeah, okay, that's right. All right,
Speaker 1: you're you're you're dragging your wagon today. But I'm a
Speaker 1: little I'm not as tired as you. I'm really tired.
Speaker 1: I do how you know what? Let me I did
Speaker 1: promise the rest of the Disney all right, so let
Speaker 1: me tell you what happened. So I told you about
Speaker 1: four rides being broken down. I told you about the
Speaker 1: uh African ron at the African restaurant on I got ron.
Speaker 1: I told you about the men's bathroom. So two more
Speaker 1: things happened. One was minor, one was major. So I
Speaker 1: went to get um a cheeseburger. We're starving. We're Hollywood
Speaker 1: studios and nothing food wise, real food is open before
Speaker 1: I think eleven am, which I don't understand because you
Speaker 1: get to the park eight nine o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1: We got there at seven to be first on in
Speaker 1: Star Wars Land, So why would you serve breakfast? There's
Speaker 1: no food. So I saw people moving not far from
Speaker 1: the haunted the Tower of Terror. What are you trying
Speaker 1: to Tower of Terror? I don't go on the Tower
Speaker 1: of Terror, so I forgot the name of it for
Speaker 1: a minute. Anyway, so I see that they're opening up
Speaker 1: the gates, so I run up. I said, are you
Speaker 1: open yet? Well, not technically, but we'll we'll we'll take
Speaker 1: your order A fantastic so that the men you says, cheeseburger,
Speaker 1: let us in tomato. They said, you know what, Um,
Speaker 1: I'd like it cheeseburger with cheese and tomato. But that's
Speaker 1: all I want, I said, is there anything else on
Speaker 1: this cheeseburger? Anything? Any secret ingredients I should know about
Speaker 1: whatever it is, I don't want it, just the cheese
Speaker 1: and tomato, A my my burger. I already feel it's
Speaker 1: a problem. On the way, no problem, he says, no problem,
Speaker 1: puts into computer and again these people are the happiest
Speaker 1: people and the nicest couldn't be nice. And of course
Speaker 1: what I ordered to drink scary diet coke, no ice,
Speaker 1: very good. So the food comes out a giant sev
Speaker 1: you know, giant glass of dia PEPSI flow to what
Speaker 1: ice was? So I said, hey, I'm sorry, I'm sure
Speaker 1: it was the worst kind of ice. Crushed, Yeah, crushed
Speaker 1: like that is the worst ice. Can't get away from that.
Speaker 1: So I said, hey, I'm terribly sorry. Can I please
Speaker 1: have uh, diet coke without ice? Now? Unlike African Ron
Speaker 1: last week, well, Africa Restaurant Ron when he said, oh,
Speaker 1: would you like me to get that? Like it pretended
Speaker 1: like I didn't order it. He says, oh, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1: He says, you want this, you can keep it. Well,
Speaker 1: you're just gonna spill it out. Let's say, yeah, sure, No,
Speaker 1: probably took the extra soda. I get the cheeseburger watery soda.
Speaker 1: If it's free, no no, no. If you get it
Speaker 1: right away and drop a straw in it, you got
Speaker 1: like a minute worth a quality soda, the whole purpose one.
Speaker 1: So you didn't get water soda. But if you're drinking
Speaker 1: like that second, But if it's for free. All of
Speaker 1: a sudden, though he gave me the diet no ice.
Speaker 1: He's like, he'd just take it though, maybe you know
Speaker 1: what I gave right, And they gave me the free soda,
Speaker 1: no problems. They got my free soda, no problem. And
Speaker 1: I take the cheeseburger and the fries, and my kids
Speaker 1: ordered some things. We go over to the to the
Speaker 1: picnic table, the picnic table, and uh, I take a
Speaker 1: nice bit. I look at the I look in the bread.
Speaker 1: I look in the burger rather and I see it's tomato.
Speaker 1: No lettuce. No problem, because, as he said, only let
Speaker 1: us in tomato. I don't see lettice. Some golden I
Speaker 1: take a bite. Oh h no, some kind of horse
Speaker 1: radish spread like a a Chipotle horse radish burger sauce.
Speaker 1: Sounds good to me. It was, so I went, you
Speaker 1: know what, something other than catch up? Bring it on it? Well,
Speaker 1: I hate horse radish, really don't like it. I don't
Speaker 1: like it. Don't think religiously, I have to some of
Speaker 1: the best horse radishes are made by Jewish company gold.
Speaker 1: By the way, I want to point out today from
Speaker 1: a tribe hashtag tribe, Judaism a religion not a nationality.
Speaker 1: Thank you all right, address all your political spotlight. That
Speaker 1: was it just my one from a tribe. Okay. So
Speaker 1: I go back to the counter. He's listening. I'm okay
Speaker 1: with the ice, you know, like I get it. But
Speaker 1: you said, only let us in tomato. And there's some
Speaker 1: kind of horse sauce. He was, oh, yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: burger sauce like Arby's. No, it wasn't like that. It
Speaker 1: was just like a pinkish horse sauce. But he was
Speaker 1: on ter be sorry. So I had to get I
Speaker 1: got the uh, I got the free dessert. I got
Speaker 1: the free burger. They refunded the money. Was it white,
Speaker 1: by the way, it was a sauce white? Uh No, dude, No,
Speaker 1: it was pink. I said it was pink already. It
Speaker 1: was like a creamy pink, creamy pink. Yeah, horse sauce.
Speaker 1: So I got the burger for free, no problem. That
Speaker 1: was my last of the minor problems at Disney. Now
Speaker 1: now here' where I say, get all the music ready.
Speaker 1: So it starts off innocuously. We get to the park
Speaker 1: very early. We go on the Star Wars rides at
Speaker 1: Hollywood Studios, and then we go on Slinky Dog. Slinky
Speaker 1: Dog is in Toy Story World. This thing is there.
Speaker 1: We go nope, microphone there we go. Okay, all right, good,
Speaker 1: so we go on Slinky Dog. Slinky Dog is a
Speaker 1: lot of fun. It's a roller coast that it looks
Speaker 1: like the Slinky Dog, right, and it's a you know,
Speaker 1: on a scale one to tend like a four in
Speaker 1: terms of danger. It's just fast and fun. It's not high,
Speaker 1: it's not upside down. It's a fun family roll skip.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you wouldn't go on it, dude, that's a
Speaker 1: you know, it's not it's not a kid's roller coaster.
Speaker 1: It's a kid it's a kid like roller coaster. But
Speaker 1: it's fun. It backs up and then zooms forward. It's fun,
Speaker 1: all right, man, it's fun. Well, my daughter, my oldest daughter, right,
Speaker 1: the one that's in college, she has this really nice
Speaker 1: blue headband, electric blue headband that she wears. I joke
Speaker 1: around her. She looks like Axl Rose sometimes, but she
Speaker 1: takes us everywhere. It was it was a gift, very
Speaker 1: important to her. She's taken into Europe. It's been through
Speaker 1: a lot of tough times with her. She wears the headband. Now,
Speaker 1: is that like Lioness in the security blanket. But not
Speaker 1: like that. Nope, not at all, but it means a
Speaker 1: lot too hard. Whatever. It's like a long scarf that
Speaker 1: she wears, so it like goes down the back of
Speaker 1: her hair. It's a long scarf. Well, coming around the
Speaker 1: last big turn, I hear her go, oh damn it.
Speaker 1: The headband flew off and landed at the base of
Speaker 1: the ride. Now the ride is not over lagoon. It's
Speaker 1: just it's a it's a small it's a The roller
Speaker 1: coaster is not sprawling, it's just it kind of goes
Speaker 1: in this in a medium sized area. It goes up
Speaker 1: and around and around and round. But it's not like
Speaker 1: it's a massive wooden roller coaster. So we get off
Speaker 1: the ride and there's three people working at the Slinky
Speaker 1: Dog ride. Hey, Eric, my daughter lost the uh thing?
Speaker 1: Whatever gonna tell this? Well she's so, Eric says, Hey,
Speaker 1: we can't uh, we can't get to the you know,
Speaker 1: we don't know where it is. We don't know where
Speaker 1: on the ride. We can't look until the ride shuts
Speaker 1: down at ten o'clock tonight or eleven it was eleven o'clock.
Speaker 1: Maybe the ride shuts down, right and at this point
Speaker 1: it's like eight o'clock in the morning. We're there early.
Speaker 1: So my daughter is like getting a little emotion, a
Speaker 1: little upset, like, oh my god, where could this scarf be?
Speaker 1: So I said, so he said, look, let me get
Speaker 1: your information. And what happens is we sweep the rides
Speaker 1: at night and we send them all to Disney Springs
Speaker 1: and they put everything together, we log it and then
Speaker 1: if you have a lost and found, they'll deliver it
Speaker 1: to your hotel room. Now we were in Disney. This
Speaker 1: was Thursday morning. We're in Disney Thursday, Friday getting on
Speaker 1: a plane Saturday morning. Only that Thursday and Friday Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: in the day after. Okay, so I said, well, let's look. Now,
Speaker 1: the platform where you get on the ride is actually
Speaker 1: pretty high up. It's not like down at the bottom
Speaker 1: and you go up. It's it's about two stories up.
Speaker 1: So if we, so I said, Eric, can weak look
Speaker 1: over the railing and see if we can see it.
Speaker 1: We look over the railing, I got Eric and Maria.
Speaker 1: Maria is now looking to help, and uh, I spotted.
Speaker 1: I spotted it's by the where the ride is the
Speaker 1: highest on the last turn at the base of the
Speaker 1: big metal poles, the blue scarf. I said, there, it
Speaker 1: is Eric down there. Great, we got the scarf, so
Speaker 1: I said, there, it is great. We'll sweep the ride later.
Speaker 1: It's now there's a there's a fence and a walkway
Speaker 1: when you go downstairs. The walkways for the staff to
Speaker 1: walk around the ride, and then there's a fence that
Speaker 1: keeps you from walking under the ride. I said, hey,
Speaker 1: can you guys get it? No, because we have to
Speaker 1: shut down the ride. You can't walk under the ride.
Speaker 1: That's the rules. I said, well could you. So there's
Speaker 1: a gate there it says gate number nine, so I
Speaker 1: know exactly where it is to take a picture of
Speaker 1: the gate, and about ten right ten ft away from
Speaker 1: the gate is the scarf. If you had a long stick,
Speaker 1: you could grab it. So I said, you can't, like
Speaker 1: just pause the ride for a second. No, park rules,
Speaker 1: can't do it. But you'll have it tomorrow and Disney
Speaker 1: Springs will log it and I'll get it to your
Speaker 1: hotel room tomorrow afternoon. It's all right, it's I take
Speaker 1: pictures Gate nine, scarf pole all right there, and you
Speaker 1: could see it in the pictures exactly where it is,
Speaker 1: and it's laying right on the on the on the
Speaker 1: like mulch right there. Story doesn't turn out well, what okay?
Speaker 1: So they so, okay, great, we'll go about our business,
Speaker 1: and uh we we go. We have a great day
Speaker 1: at Disney, except for the rides that broke down, and
Speaker 1: we go to sleep. We go to bed, wake up.
Speaker 1: Friday morning, our second and last day at the park,
Speaker 1: my wife gets an email. It says, at four thirty
Speaker 1: in the morning, We're terribly sorry. We understand you feel
Speaker 1: at a loss and found report. We were not able
Speaker 1: to find your item. So my wife reads this to
Speaker 1: me and she says, she looks at me, and I've
Speaker 1: told the story. My wife usually says to me, don't
Speaker 1: cause a scene. She says, go get him. When my
Speaker 1: wife says, go catt, I'm going to get them. So
Speaker 1: I throw on my clothes right and I go to
Speaker 1: the front desk. Asked to speak to the manager, you know, nicely,
Speaker 1: but give me the manager. Manager comes out, very nice,
Speaker 1: young lady at this is a Disney hotel. So these
Speaker 1: all Disney employees. I said, uh, this is the problem.
Speaker 1: She says, oh, well, you know what what they obviously
Speaker 1: didn't log it properly. But uh, you know, you can
Speaker 1: call Disney Springs. They open up at nine o'clock. I said, well,
Speaker 1: it's it's seven am because we're getting ready to go
Speaker 1: out the park. They don't open yet. That's how do
Speaker 1: I call them? What's the number? Well, you can't call him.
Speaker 1: They don't have a number. But from any guest services office,
Speaker 1: any of the parks, you can pick up a phone
Speaker 1: and dial them, or they can call for you. By
Speaker 1: the way, I'm guessing so far. Up to this point,
Speaker 1: they were just lazy. They didn't want to sweep to
Speaker 1: ride and they're just like, funk this guy. But the email,
Speaker 1: the email doesn't even even though you spotted it, right,
Speaker 1: So I said, so it says you're It says your
Speaker 1: lost item was not found. So I said, to my
Speaker 1: my go but here's the thing. It wasn't lost. It
Speaker 1: was dropped. There was a difference between lost and dropped.
Speaker 1: It was dropped and here it is in the picture. She's, well,
Speaker 1: just call from guest Services. I'm sure they have it.
Speaker 1: Not a problems. I spoke to Eric and Maria on
Speaker 1: the ride. They said we'll take care of it. And
Speaker 1: then a night we got that scarf. No scarf all right.
Speaker 1: So our plan was to go to Epcot early in
Speaker 1: the afternoon, then go over to um Animal Kingdom. We
Speaker 1: had park copper as. We had two day park operas,
Speaker 1: which means you go from all four parks and go
Speaker 1: on the two rides we like at Animal Kingdom, and
Speaker 1: then finished to night at Magic Kingdom. Boom boom, ready
Speaker 1: to go Space Mountain. We had fast passes ready to
Speaker 1: go over the Animal Kingdom for uh uh Avatar. It's
Speaker 1: important I mentioned that Avatar. You can't get fast fast
Speaker 1: Vavatar very difficult to get fast beast vatalk. So okay,
Speaker 1: By the way, how much is this freaking scarf? It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. It's sentimental and it was expensive. I think
Speaker 1: she got it in Europe. Whatever it was, it worth.
Speaker 1: But is it worth ruining your vacation over that? Now
Speaker 1: you're going to have kids, You're you're waiting, hold on,
Speaker 1: but you're about tom hearing in your voice you're about
Speaker 1: to dedicate many man hours to retrieving this scarf on vacation.
Speaker 1: You're on vacation, Brodie. Okay, let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: For my kids. I do anything, Okay. My daughter is
Speaker 1: upset about the scarf, which we saw is she a
Speaker 1: snowflake in training? No, dude, don't you have anything you
Speaker 1: care about? Yes? Go ask your girlfriend if she had
Speaker 1: a necklace or something that maybe her uncle gave you.
Speaker 1: You know, it's a it's a scarf, it's a okay.
Speaker 1: First of all, it was like a hundred and something dollars.
Speaker 1: It was expensive. Scarf understood, and it means a lot.
Speaker 1: Don't you understand like things things people? Okay? Alright, heartless, baster,
Speaker 1: heartless single. It would in my life, would if I
Speaker 1: dropped it on a roller coaster? Would I care about?
Speaker 1: Enough with you? Probably a fork? All right. So we're
Speaker 1: at Epcot, were like, you know what, we have an
Speaker 1: hour to get over then Animal Kingdom. And at the
Speaker 1: entrance right by the entrance the Epcot is your guest services.
Speaker 1: So I go in to guest services and the guy says, oh, hello,
Speaker 1: welcome to guest Services. What seems to me the problem, Well,
Speaker 1: my daughter dropped her scarf on a ride, and uh,
Speaker 1: we would, Oh, no problem, just tell uh, just tell
Speaker 1: this other girl here name was Stephanie. Tell Stephanie. We
Speaker 1: tell Stephanie. She goes, oh great, Yeah, just go to
Speaker 1: the front desk and tell them, So I tell a woman.
Speaker 1: I think the woman's name was like Tomka. To May said,
Speaker 1: like an exotic name. I don't remember what it was.
Speaker 1: She was from Asian country. You don't know what the
Speaker 1: name was. I can't reiterate the name. So we'll just
Speaker 1: say we'll say to Mika. For the stake of this conversation,
Speaker 1: I tell to Mika. She says, oh, we can't call over.
Speaker 1: They don't have a phone. So I saw, what, you
Speaker 1: can't call over they went on the phone. Well, how
Speaker 1: do I get in touch with them? If they find
Speaker 1: the item, they will contact you and they'll bring it
Speaker 1: to your hotel. Once again, it was never lost, so
Speaker 1: I said, it's not lost. It's at the It's at
Speaker 1: the Sliky Dog ride by door by gate number nine.
Speaker 1: It's right here's the picture. Um, yeah, sir, when they
Speaker 1: find it, they'll contact you. I said, Okay, I'm leaving tomorrow.
Speaker 1: I need to scarf before I go home. And I
Speaker 1: don't know where to ship it because my daughter is
Speaker 1: going to college. But then she's coming out from college.
Speaker 1: If I ship it to the house, she won't have
Speaker 1: it for two weeks. Like, what what's the policy? Oh, sir,
Speaker 1: She says, you know what I said. Can you call
Speaker 1: over to Hollywood Studios and see if one of the
Speaker 1: team there can walk over and see if the skull
Speaker 1: are is still there or if it's not there. I
Speaker 1: know they have it right, just see if it's still there.
Speaker 1: We don't have the manpower to do that. We don't
Speaker 1: have anybody who can go over and check. This is Disney.
Speaker 1: They have ten thousand employees. You don't have one person
Speaker 1: with a broom and a sweeper, and and and and
Speaker 1: a scooper that can go, Oh, I'm you know, I'm
Speaker 1: over there, Roderick. I'll over by the Slinky Dog. I'll
Speaker 1: check the platform by gate by gate nine. No, they
Speaker 1: have nobody. Then she says to me, sir, I can't
Speaker 1: go myself. I have to stay here. I said, I'm
Speaker 1: sorry to Mika, did I ask you? Now? Keep in
Speaker 1: mind there's people there are other people with problems whatever,
Speaker 1: and my family now is behind me. I expect my
Speaker 1: family that will be covering their faces, but they're looking
Speaker 1: at me like, go get them dad. This is the
Speaker 1: first time in my life my whole family is like,
Speaker 1: go get him, dad. Right here. So the woman says
Speaker 1: to me, she says, I'm sorry, sir, I can't leave
Speaker 1: here and go check myself. Now. Did I ask you
Speaker 1: to get on a monterail or a tram or a
Speaker 1: bus and travel to another park, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: I know it doesn't have a monterail. Don't tweet me.
Speaker 1: I did not ask you to, Amika, I said, can
Speaker 1: you call someone? We don't have anybody. So what's the solution. Well,
Speaker 1: if they didn't get it last night, maybe they'll get
Speaker 1: it tonight. Well, if they didn't get it last night,
Speaker 1: what makes you think, thank you, that they're gonna get
Speaker 1: it tonight. They Parrick and Maria promised me they would
Speaker 1: get it. Now, I get an email saying we didn't
Speaker 1: find it. It wasn't lost. I need to speak to supervisor.
Speaker 1: I wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Deborah comes out. Debora,
Speaker 1: here's the problem. Well, I'm sorry, sir. We don't have
Speaker 1: anybody that can possibly go over there. We don't have
Speaker 1: the manpower, you know, the manpower. No, sir, and I
Speaker 1: can't go over there myself. Did I ask you to
Speaker 1: go over there yourself? I just talked to mikut an Esca.
Speaker 1: I want you to go, I said, give me the
Speaker 1: phone number. To call it Disney Spring. We don't have
Speaker 1: a phone number, So I don't have a phone number. Well,
Speaker 1: what's your phone number? We don't have a phone here either,
Speaker 1: what I said, So you don't have a phone. You
Speaker 1: want me to go home with no one to call
Speaker 1: once I get home, there's no way to get in
Speaker 1: touch with you people, right, I want a phone number.
Speaker 1: This is bullshit. I I want my scarf back, Sir,
Speaker 1: I said, well, maybe we can make good on the scarf.
Speaker 1: And we can't find the scarf I saw, I saw,
Speaker 1: I started, I start embellishing. Now I'm like, excuse me.
Speaker 1: My my daughter's dead aunt gave this scarf to her.
Speaker 1: This is when the lives come out because nothing's working.
Speaker 1: So now you're just throwing anything at the wall because
Speaker 1: it's hold on, so hold on, so I said, So
Speaker 1: as it turns out scary, her aunt gave it to
Speaker 1: her a year ago. But it happens to be dead
Speaker 1: now I saw it right, My sister law passed away,
Speaker 1: sound like, so I said, she just passed. It takes
Speaker 1: to get them right, because now I'm like, phew. I'm like,
Speaker 1: Debra Listen should be making sure I'm happy. Call over
Speaker 1: there and we don't have anybody over this certain I
Speaker 1: can't go myself again, Deborah. I didn't ask you or
Speaker 1: Tamka to leave this park and going our ride to
Speaker 1: the other park. I asked you to call over there
Speaker 1: and asked Bill, Hey, Bill, Bill, can you go check
Speaker 1: over You don't want to do it. I just don't, can't.
Speaker 1: There's no one gonna walking talking work in the ride. Sure,
Speaker 1: we can't shut down the ride. Well, I didn't ask
Speaker 1: you to shut down the ride. I asked you to
Speaker 1: shut down the ride last night. Well, sir, it's park policy.
Speaker 1: We can't shut down the ride. Stop telling me the
Speaker 1: park policy I know at the park policy is you
Speaker 1: can't shut down the ride. Although, now that you mention it,
Speaker 1: four rides broke down and shut down on their own
Speaker 1: while I was here, So clearly right shut down, So
Speaker 1: shut down Slinky Dog. People will just think it's a
Speaker 1: glitch like every other ride I've been on. Listen episode one,
Speaker 1: await you hear which one's broke down? So, so why
Speaker 1: can't you just shut down the ride for a second?
Speaker 1: We can't shut down the ride? Was okay? Good, fine, Okay,
Speaker 1: what am I gonna do here? Well, so we can
Speaker 1: replace the scarf. You're gonna replace the scarf? Are you
Speaker 1: gonna give me a two hundred all the gift card
Speaker 1: to cover the loss of the scarf and the and
Speaker 1: the sentimental value? Well? Sorry, he's what we can do.
Speaker 1: We can replace the scarf. We can give you a
Speaker 1: gift card and replace it with a Disney scarf here
Speaker 1: in the park. You don't want to Disney scarf? Give
Speaker 1: my daughter Donald fucking Duck scarf to replace her hand
Speaker 1: embroidered scarf that she got with A with a Disney scarf,
Speaker 1: I said, granted the sais here Disney, it's probably two.
Speaker 1: Is that what you want me to tell my daughter?
Speaker 1: You're gonna give her a Donald Duck goofy scarf to
Speaker 1: replace the scarf she had that her dead ant Gabor?
Speaker 1: Is that what we're talking about here? Well, sir, I
Speaker 1: don't know what else you want me to do. Well,
Speaker 1: I want you to tell me why the scarf that
Speaker 1: wasn't lost it was sitting there, wasn't collected, or if
Speaker 1: it was collected, where is the scarf? Well, sir, um
Speaker 1: what we'll do is um, uh, you know what, Let
Speaker 1: me get you a card of who to contact great,
Speaker 1: get me the card. Who to contact because I'm living here.
Speaker 1: You guys, you have the scarf you lost and found
Speaker 1: doesn't have a scarf. No one has a record a scarf,
Speaker 1: and I can't call anybody. All right, sir, hold on,
Speaker 1: I'll get you the contact information. Stay right here, okay, Debra. Thanks.
Speaker 1: I turned around. My family is like looking like, oh,
Speaker 1: they messed with the wrong person. So Debra goes in
Speaker 1: the back and she comes and goes. He goes, sir
Speaker 1: everything he needs on the card. All right, thank you
Speaker 1: very much. And I said I can call them. I
Speaker 1: can get in touch the anytime. Yes, she thank you
Speaker 1: and looks back into the back room door and leaves.
Speaker 1: And I'm walking she bolted, got the funk out of
Speaker 1: there and gave you some false information. And I walked
Speaker 1: and look as I'm walking out with the card, I
Speaker 1: see it's a po box. It's not a phone number,
Speaker 1: it's a po box to mail them a fucking letter.
Speaker 1: Oh hell now, So I go turn right around. I
Speaker 1: go to Mika, get her out here, get around here. Now.
Speaker 1: She gave me a peel box. So Deborah comes out
Speaker 1: like five minutes later. Yes, sir, canna help you. You
Speaker 1: gave me a business card with a po box. What
Speaker 1: are you gonna what? You want men to send a
Speaker 1: fucking telegraph to your customer service department? Where's the phone number? Oh,
Speaker 1: they don't have a phone. They don't have a phone.
Speaker 1: Really in twenty nineteen. You don't have staff to go
Speaker 1: to the ride to help me. You don't have a
Speaker 1: phone at Lost and Found. I said, you don't give
Speaker 1: a funk the number of a I asked the number
Speaker 1: at the customer relations. They don't have a phone, I said, Debra,
Speaker 1: who do I have to call? This is no one
Speaker 1: you can call, sir. Well, if we find the scarf,
Speaker 1: find the scarf, it's not lost. The problem and I
Speaker 1: I know, okay, you're gonna blow. The problem is they're
Speaker 1: so used to treating America like sheep and and people.
Speaker 1: I don't mean the sage. I love Disney. I already
Speaker 1: played my trip for next year. I love on five levels,
Speaker 1: right levels of of you can't do this. Finally, most
Speaker 1: people we just walk with the Alright, I'll write him
Speaker 1: a letter, flabber letter. I gotta write a fucking letter
Speaker 1: to a peel box pox. Not David Brodie, I said,
Speaker 1: somewhere between you and Robert Eiger. What's his name? The
Speaker 1: guy who runs the company? Eisener Eisner? Look up? Hold
Speaker 1: not hold on, hold on Eisener Il No Bob, I've no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no Ceo of Disney whatever. Okay, So Michael Eisner, it's Michael.
Speaker 1: No Robert Eger. He replaced Robert, I said Robert. I
Speaker 1: said Robert Iger. At the time, I said, somewhere between
Speaker 1: you and Robert Iger is someone with a phone on
Speaker 1: his desk or horror that I can call. So who
Speaker 1: is between you and the CEO of Disney? I said,
Speaker 1: because I'm here every year and by the way, I
Speaker 1: just got Disney Plus. So someone has to help me
Speaker 1: because the scarf is to lay in there and it's
Speaker 1: gonna rain the night. Well, sir again, will contact you?
Speaker 1: Know you won't? I said, your information is in the system.
Speaker 1: She says to me, how are you gonna call me?
Speaker 1: You know people don't have phones. Second of all, once
Speaker 1: I leave here, I know how this game is played.
Speaker 1: Like Joe Pesci, they fucking the drive through. Once you
Speaker 1: pull out of the drive through, it's too late to
Speaker 1: go back. When his fucking pickles on your sandwich, like
Speaker 1: they fucked me a chick fil a. So he said,
Speaker 1: get me somebody above you. All right, sir, you know,
Speaker 1: please don't. We don't need to be upset when you'll
Speaker 1: be happy if you wanted me to be happy. You
Speaker 1: get my daughter's electric blue scarf with the embroidery in
Speaker 1: the butterflies. It's laying there by Gate nine. Well we
Speaker 1: don't know that certain, No, we don't know that. Well,
Speaker 1: so I can't go there and check myself. Don't say
Speaker 1: that again. I'm aware you're not going. So she says,
Speaker 1: all right back now, shews, I have to get someone
Speaker 1: from the third floor. Oh, we're getting to the third
Speaker 1: floor now. Now I got third floor guy coming down.
Speaker 1: Now we're getting somewhere. Third floor guy comes down. Doug. Hey, Doug,
Speaker 1: how are you doing. I understand there's a problem. You
Speaker 1: haven't been on the finding your door to scarf? Yeah, Doug,
Speaker 1: I found my daughters scarf. It's a slinky dog ride
Speaker 1: by Gate nine, by the big column. Here's the picture. Well,
Speaker 1: we have no record of it being checked in yesterday.
Speaker 1: Uh so either they didn't find it, uh that they
Speaker 1: didn't check. It's not lost. Doug again, can we get
Speaker 1: can we get past? I said, I need someone Doug
Speaker 1: to go to the park right now, or at the
Speaker 1: park and look and see if it's still there. He says, Sir,
Speaker 1: I can't go there myself. I have to work at
Speaker 1: a dog I didn't ask you. I didn't ask you
Speaker 1: to go to the park. I asked you to call someone.
Speaker 1: Can we call someone? Please get him on the walkie.
Speaker 1: Everyone's got walkie talkies headsets call someone. Well, so we
Speaker 1: can't shut that. I didn't ask you to shut down
Speaker 1: the ride, Doug, like, stop going through the checklist of responses, Doug,
Speaker 1: I said to do you know what, Doug, I feel
Speaker 1: like I called a third world country for help on
Speaker 1: my computer because you're all saying the same thing on
Speaker 1: the float chart, but you're not listening to me. It's
Speaker 1: not lost. So he says to me, well, sir, just
Speaker 1: so you know we're not responsible for lost items, it's
Speaker 1: not lost. I said, well that's good, Doug, because I
Speaker 1: didn't lose it. You know people lost it. It's right
Speaker 1: there in the picture. Therefore it's not lost. I said,
Speaker 1: maybe your staff, and if it's a stretch, I'm not saying,
Speaker 1: maybe your staff picked up the scarf when the ride
Speaker 1: shut down Wednesday last night right Thanksgiving, and I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna keep the scarf. It's a
Speaker 1: beautiful scarf. Maybe that happened, Maybe it got they relost stick,
Speaker 1: Maybe they threw it out, figured nobody cared. Maybe the
Speaker 1: morning shift didn't tell the night shift about the scarf. Right,
Speaker 1: he said, this is what he says to me. Well, sir,
Speaker 1: you know, uh, we find people lose money and jewelry
Speaker 1: a lot, really expensive stuff, and they don't take it.
Speaker 1: I really don't think they'll take your daughter's scarf. Oh
Speaker 1: so now you're condescending to me. Now, my daughter's scarf
Speaker 1: isn't worth stealing. That's your that's your excuse. Oh there's
Speaker 1: other stuff nicer. They could steal that, but they don't.
Speaker 1: So why would they take your scarf, sir? Because they
Speaker 1: don't take the money. I don't know. Maybe they like
Speaker 1: the scarf. Maybe the scarf fit in their pocket. Maybe
Speaker 1: they thought who would care about the scarf? Like scary
Speaker 1: Jones doesn't care about the scarf? So I said, and
Speaker 1: then you'll give me a peel box to contact customer service. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we don't have a phone number. You don't have a phone.
Speaker 1: In twenty nineteen, let me ask you a question, Doug.
Speaker 1: If in the real world, now we're in the real world,
Speaker 1: if you had a problem with best Buy or Apple,
Speaker 1: or or or Amazon and they didn't have a phone,
Speaker 1: how did you feel about that, Doug? Would you deal
Speaker 1: with those companies? Would you deal with a company in
Speaker 1: the real world with their customer service was a fucking
Speaker 1: po box? And he says, well, you know it's I
Speaker 1: can't really comment on the companies. No, I'm asking you
Speaker 1: as a human being, Doug. Can you please tell me
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna doing about my scarf? He says, we
Speaker 1: will contact you if we finally go. Nobody contacted me yesterday.
Speaker 1: I want verification from your dog. I write your name
Speaker 1: down Doug at at Epcot Center customer service. And now
Speaker 1: now I'm fit to be Tyson. You know what, Doug,
Speaker 1: I missed my window to go to Animal Kingdom. I
Speaker 1: missed my fast passtanding here argue with Tamika and Debora
Speaker 1: at you because you refuse to go call anybody or
Speaker 1: have somebody sent over there. And look, well who can
Speaker 1: I send over sir? We can't leave. I can't Doug.
Speaker 1: I didn't ask you to leave. I asked you to
Speaker 1: call over there. I Doug, we're done. Just know I'm
Speaker 1: gonna shred you on social media because this is bullshit.
Speaker 1: And I walk out and my my and I tell
Speaker 1: my family like, let's just go a Magic Kingdom. Let's
Speaker 1: just go. I go, this is not the end of it.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, Brodie doesn't give up. This can't
Speaker 1: be the end of the top end of it. So
Speaker 1: I go on social media and I and I get
Speaker 1: Disney customer Service on Twitter and I tell him what's
Speaker 1: going on. I go, it's bullshit. I'm having a hard
Speaker 1: time here, and nobody in the park wants to help me.
Speaker 1: Nobody is willing to help me. So they d I mean,
Speaker 1: and what's the problem. I tell him the problem? Okay. Oh,
Speaker 1: about an hour and a half later, at this point
Speaker 1: when they wrote me back on Twitter, it was a
Speaker 1: little while and they said, we're gonna look into it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to you. Okay. We had dinner reservent.
Speaker 1: I tell you about dinner last week. Yes, they had
Speaker 1: my reservation to use dinner for free. Okay, So we're
Speaker 1: waiting on line for our dinner. We had like to
Speaker 1: wait five minutes for dinner. I get a phone call.
Speaker 1: It's Doug. So first I get a tweet back that
Speaker 1: says you'll be contacted shortly. Great, Doug calls me, Doug,
Speaker 1: call me at nine o'clock. Scary Okay, the ride shuts
Speaker 1: down at eleven nine o'clock, Doug says to me, Mr
Speaker 1: Brodie High, Um, we found your daughter scarf. It's electric
Speaker 1: blue and white butterflies on it embroidered. Yeah, where'd you
Speaker 1: find it? Right by the by gate nine like you said,
Speaker 1: remember by the column right, I said, Hi, Doug, question
Speaker 1: for you. How you calling me nine o'clock if you
Speaker 1: didn't shut the ride down yet? Well, sir, we we did.
Speaker 1: We had to do. We got your scarf back to you.
Speaker 1: Didn't have a phone there, Doug. Yeah, yeah, dogs the
Speaker 1: dogs on the phone. He goes, yeah, Mr Proby, want
Speaker 1: you to be happy. Now. Look, I would like to
Speaker 1: believe that Disney did not notice that I'm who I
Speaker 1: am and just took care of it because they're good
Speaker 1: people and I love the company, I said, hight Doug.
Speaker 1: He said, We're gonna have the scarf sent over to
Speaker 1: your hotel and by the time you get back from
Speaker 1: dinner it will be there waiting for you. Fantastic, fantastic.
Speaker 1: So we go to dinner. They're on my reservation. But yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I get the free dinner, the whole thing, go to
Speaker 1: the park, go to Space Mountain. Great time. Great. The
Speaker 1: next day we're at the airport. The flight from Jet
Speaker 1: Blue is delayed five hours. Why because the plane in
Speaker 1: Newark had to be repaired. So they said, a new plane.
Speaker 1: We have to wait three and a half hours, then
Speaker 1: four hours. I get to what I did with Jet Blue.
Speaker 1: In a minute. My phone rings, Uh, yes, I can
Speaker 1: help you. Yeah, this is Michael from Disney Corporate. Hello, Michael,
Speaker 1: I understand you've had some problems. Our social media account
Speaker 1: contacted me. Said you got a concern. I said, oh, yes,
Speaker 1: very good. Yes, uh, he said, what would happened? I
Speaker 1: give him the whole thing. I give episodes one, oh
Speaker 1: eaight and one on nine. I give him the hall spiel.
Speaker 1: He says, that's terrible. That's not that's not how we
Speaker 1: do business. He said, he said, the guy on Space
Speaker 1: Mountain told you that it wasn't their fault. It was
Speaker 1: the people moving. Yet the whole thing and the restaurant
Speaker 1: we've taken name, and the scarf and the phone number,
Speaker 1: and the whole thing. I gave names, numbers, the whole thing.
Speaker 1: I said, Listen, Michael, I love Disney. I don't want
Speaker 1: to find fault with Disney. No, sir, we want you
Speaker 1: to find Listen, something's wrong. We want to know. I
Speaker 1: was the only way we get better. Well not not
Speaker 1: the people below him. They didn't want to know. They
Speaker 1: didn't give a fun right, I said. He said, we will.
Speaker 1: We will speak to the people on the rides you mentioned.
Speaker 1: We will look into the broken rides and make sure
Speaker 1: that they get that they're in working order. He said,
Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a VP. I have the authority to
Speaker 1: call the park. I want you to understand how much
Speaker 1: it means to us that you contacted us. I said,
Speaker 1: very good. He said, uh so, I'd like to do
Speaker 1: something for you and your family, your five people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he says, SE's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: you six fast passes. Hold on, hold on, six fast
Speaker 1: passes for the next time you come. I said, well, Doug,
Speaker 1: we come every year now. Six fast passes are worth
Speaker 1: a lot. They are, he said. And what we're gonna
Speaker 1: do is we're gonna give you two fast passes. For Avatar,
Speaker 1: which they're impossible to get. You go right on the ride,
Speaker 1: no waiting. They're a special fast pass. Due you didn't
Speaker 1: get free dessert, You've got free Viennese hour. Hold on,
Speaker 1: hold on. I'm doing well here, right, I said, Doug.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. That's very kind, he says. And uh,
Speaker 1: you and your family had park oppers for the two days,
Speaker 1: he says, I'm gonna give you and your entire family
Speaker 1: two day park hoppers. How much is that a couple
Speaker 1: of thousand dollars. It's a lot of money. Out of money,
Speaker 1: I said, Doug, I said, I said Mike, I said,
Speaker 1: you've done well here. Thank you, he said. We want
Speaker 1: you to be happy. You clearly did not have the
Speaker 1: Disney experience that you would hope for, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: I've never had a problem with Disney before, never go
Speaker 1: there every almost every year. And and by the way,
Speaker 1: anyone listening to this podcast know that the norm is fantastic.
Speaker 1: It's just I just a bunch of errors whatever, he said,
Speaker 1: All these things add up. I want you to have
Speaker 1: a better experience. Here's the thing. And uh, anyway, so
Speaker 1: I got park copperas fast passes. Listen a lot of
Speaker 1: people would have given up a long time before. My
Speaker 1: wife cried when I told her we got the park
Speaker 1: OPPERA passes not all worth it. I know it was,
Speaker 1: but you're You're an anomaly. You're gonna fight till the death.
Speaker 1: I'm going down fighting. We know that about you. But
Speaker 1: most people would have stopped far short in their arguments
Speaker 1: and just went back to their vacation. Myself included, okay,
Speaker 1: but hold on, Why does it take a guy like
Speaker 1: VP Mike to step in and do what he did
Speaker 1: right to get to that it should not? And again,
Speaker 1: I want to stress I've never had a problem with
Speaker 1: Disney in my whole life. But why answer me this
Speaker 1: my impression? Isn't it? Why isn't it that first couple
Speaker 1: of people want to I get it, you're new here.
Speaker 1: You can bring the manager out. But at that point
Speaker 1: when the manager has to get the guy from the
Speaker 1: third floor, the third floor guy, I know what's going
Speaker 1: on in the third floor where Doug works, But Doug
Speaker 1: came down no help. Like at some point when you're Deborah,
Speaker 1: you're the supervisor, when you go get dog when you're
Speaker 1: deaf con one. By the way, everyone gets that wrong.
Speaker 1: Def Con five and def Con one. It's the reverse
Speaker 1: order in the movies and what it really is when
Speaker 1: you're at the the highest level, right and it's like,
Speaker 1: this guy is upset and you go to you go
Speaker 1: to the third floor. We gotta we gotta code red here.
Speaker 1: You've got a guy here from New York. You want
Speaker 1: to come down here, Doug. When Doug comes down knowing
Speaker 1: it's a code red, Doug gotta take care of it, right,
Speaker 1: It's got to end with him. All Doug had to
Speaker 1: do was say, I will personally make sure you get
Speaker 1: your scarf back. And I wouldn't needed any free dessert.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have needed the fast I would have liked
Speaker 1: the fast passes. So my day at Animal Kingdom was ruined.
Speaker 1: My afternoon at Epcot was like and all the other
Speaker 1: stuff I mentioned last episode, and I told him all that,
Speaker 1: I'm like, dude, listen, all this stuff is going wrong.
Speaker 1: Just got my scarf. When he had to audacity to
Speaker 1: tell me, we're not responsible for lost items, and oh,
Speaker 1: we're not gonna steal your scarf because we could have
Speaker 1: stolen money and jewels. We don't do that. Why is
Speaker 1: but why aren't they trained at the basic level because
Speaker 1: because because Michael, it speaks so much about your shitty
Speaker 1: uh you know, employees. Michael. Michael was probably Michael who
Speaker 1: called me at one point in his life, was probably
Speaker 1: behind that counter and was so good at what he
Speaker 1: did he got promoted. The problem is once you promote
Speaker 1: those people, you gotta replace him at more Michael's. And
Speaker 1: what I got was third floor Doug, third floor. Doug
Speaker 1: should be back on the first floor until he earned
Speaker 1: his way back up to the third floor. What is
Speaker 1: the third floor if the third floor can't help me?
Speaker 1: It just sucks that you have to go through such
Speaker 1: lengths to get real results. Well, imagine if Michael hadn't
Speaker 1: called me, if all that happened and and you got
Speaker 1: your scarf back, dead no and dead beat Doug. Well,
Speaker 1: if I didn't go on social media, my guess is
Speaker 1: social media Disney contacted someone who contacted Dog and said, dude,
Speaker 1: get fucking scarf back. Because they clearly shut down the
Speaker 1: ride to get my scarf back, or they took the
Speaker 1: scarf the night before. It just didn't process. Just disgusting
Speaker 1: that we that we as consumers have to go so
Speaker 1: far right and this happens everywhere it's not just you know,
Speaker 1: you know, but we have to go so far to
Speaker 1: get decent customers. And a couple of people tweeted me
Speaker 1: when they saw what I was tweeting and said, oh
Speaker 1: my god. Also last episode there, want to wait. I
Speaker 1: thought I was crazy. I had the same less than
Speaker 1: fantastic experience there as well recently, so I think maybe
Speaker 1: someone's slipping. I think all the good people who working
Speaker 1: at Disney Plus and uh, they're not at the park
Speaker 1: right now. But again, go to Disney. You have a
Speaker 1: great experience. Don't let me anything I said, keep it
Speaker 1: from going there. Everyone's wonderful. But yeah, so I'm going
Speaker 1: next year. Thank you, Michael. I appreciate it. You can
Speaker 1: you can push people so far right now. You cannot
Speaker 1: push people from Brooklyn Boys Boys