WEBVTT - Just Say No To Celebrity Diets with @kat.defatta 0:00:01.240 --> 0:00:03.880 Maybe that's Lisa, and we're just two girls that want 0:00:03.880 --> 0:00:07.360 to have a conversation with you. Dear sixteen year old Andrea, 0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:12.360 Hey gorgeous, Dear younger Lauren. Each episode is stories from people. 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:15.760 I would deprive myself by myself obsessively because I was 0:00:15.800 --> 0:00:18.360 eating healthy. I couldn't understand that I had a problem 0:00:18.360 --> 0:00:21.079 with food. Losing my period scared me the most. My 0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:24.159 story starts when I was around seven. That's when I 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:27.400 started to hate my body. Body image is like our 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:31.319 inner picture of our outer self. Healthy behaviors play a 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:33.720 much bigger role at all health than the actual number 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:37.239 on the scales. Internal dialogue could be so powerful and 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:40.080 often it's super negative and critical in a way that 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:42.360 we wouldn't talk to other people that we care about. 0:00:42.479 --> 0:00:44.760 When you start to share your story, that gives other 0:00:44.800 --> 0:00:46.920 people the courage to share theirs. I know you would 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:49.159 be proud now of how far you have come in 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:53.640 your relationship to food, exercise, and to yourself. I felt freedom, 0:00:53.880 --> 0:00:57.600 I've gained relationships. I've found my true sense of self worth. 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:01.360 There's one thing I need you to take away. You're 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:06.720 going to be okay, Hey outweigh fam amy here and 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:09.600 I have Cat Defata next to me. She will be 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:13.360 joining me for today's episode, which if you've ever tried 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:18.040 a celebrity diet or heard celebrities talk about this or that, 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:20.840 or shoot, you've even listened to my four Things podcasts 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:22.560 from back in the day, or heard me on the 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:26.480 Bobby Bone Show before talking about some crazy diet or 0:01:26.600 --> 0:01:30.880 plan that I was doing. Sometimes people in the public 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:34.360 eye have no idea the harm that they're doing. If 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:36.959 I don't consider myself to be a celebrity, especially to 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:41.480 the caliber we're going to be discussing about today, like Beyonce, Reese, Witherspoon, 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.600 Jane Fonda, and now I'm not calling out these people 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:47.560 like they have endorsed something or they're doing something wrong. 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:53.480 But I think diet culture, magazine culture, online click bait 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:58.600 will be like, hey, guess what Beyonce's doing the Master Clans. 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:00.920 Do we have any idea of he's really doing it? 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:03.120 Unless she posts about on her Instagram, I don't know. 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:04.960 I mean that's where the facts are. You can maybe 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:10.560 see people doing stuff online, but magazines and articles or 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:13.080 news they pick it all up wanting you to click 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:16.880 on it and think, Okay, if I just drink lemonade, 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:20.560 maple syrup, and cayenne pepper for fourteen days. I'm gonna 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:23.720 look like Beyonce. So Cat and I are going to 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:26.200 break down some of what we have to deal with 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:29.840 is everyday humans trucking along, like driving in our car, 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:32.560 list in the Bobby Bones Show, and hearing some offbeat 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:36.880 diet advice. Because I take full responsibility for being a 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:39.679 catalyst for that. I was at one point in time. 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:42.560 I mean, people would ride into my four Things podcast 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:45.720 and say, hey, you know, love you so sorry, but 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:48.320 I had to stop listening because I'm being triggered by 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:52.320 certain things. I remember, Yes, I remember listening, and that 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:55.280 there was always talk about, oh my gosh, I did this, 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:57.359 and this is just coming back to me. There's always 0:02:57.360 --> 0:03:01.160 talk about some green juice, glowing green smoothie. Yes, I 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:03.760 remember I made it. It was disgusting. I didn't know 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:06.040 I I actually I did like it. I did not 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:08.440 like the flavor of it. But I remember. I mean 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:10.040 that probably was like four or five years ago. For 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:13.680 oh for years, Yes, that was it had fallen. I 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:17.440 started me. Yes, I influenced a lot of people, and 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:19.359 I was very adamant that you had to have hot 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:23.240 lemon water every morning, a green smoothie for breakfast, maybe 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:27.120 even for lunch, and then vegetables and maybe some keen 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:31.200 wa for dinner or something. I adopted that for myself 0:03:31.280 --> 0:03:33.880 when I was trying to get pregnant, and it was 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:36.320 a plan I went on someone I had talked to, 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:38.760 actually a girl I went to church with in North Carolina. 0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:42.040 She had trouble getting pregnant, so she was trying this 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:46.240 meal plan. So I bought the book, did the thing. 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:50.040 I got certain results, and then I it became an 0:03:50.040 --> 0:03:53.480 obsession to where I traveled with lemons everywhere. I went 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:56.280 to Haiti, I went to other countries with lemons in 0:03:56.360 --> 0:04:01.080 my bag because I needed hot lemon water every day. 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:04.880 Or I thought I'm failing at the plan. And I 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:06.760 mean I would deviate here and there, but I would 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:09.560 try to set my morning up just right, like as 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:11.160 long as I did the hot limon water. I mean, 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:14.480 I shipped green smoothies to Haiti in my I mean 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:16.719 I brought it myself. I didn't ship it ahead of time, 0:04:16.720 --> 0:04:19.280 but I would freeze them, wrap them up real good, 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:21.880 put them in my luggage that I would check and 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:23.679 then just cross my fingers and hope that they didn't 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:28.840 explode on the plane. And I would call that extreme behavior, yes, yes, 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:32.320 And I influenced friends that would be with me, my 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:35.640 you know family. That was a thing that I definitely 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:40.160 screamed from the rooftops. And I would like to just 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:45.640 apologize because I think you have some kind of platform 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:49.279 and you're trying something that you think is like the 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:51.840 thing at the moment, and I would do all kinds 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:54.600 of different things, but I actually thought in that time 0:04:54.640 --> 0:04:57.600 I was super healthy well. And the other thing is 0:04:57.720 --> 0:05:01.960 maybe regardless of all of you're disordered eating, maybe that 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.159 worked for you, that doesn't mean it's going to work 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:06.800 for everybody else. And I think that's the issue and 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:08.640 some of what we're going to talk about today is like, 0:05:08.760 --> 0:05:12.120 maybe that plan was working for your friend, it doesn't 0:05:12.120 --> 0:05:14.600 necessarily mean it's gonna work. Right. I never got pregnant, 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.719 by the way, in case you're like, oh, I'm trying 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:18.520 to get pregnant, what is it? I want to try it. 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:22.200 And I just have to be more aware and more 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:26.560 conscious about how I speak. I'm still not perfect. Cat 0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:29.880 is an expert. Lisa my co host for Outweigh as 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:33.120 a registered dietitian. She has made it her passion to 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:37.400 redefine what it looks like to be in that space. Again, 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:40.560 we talk about all the different people online. They're part 0:05:40.560 --> 0:05:43.480 of this movement, and once you are aware of it, 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:45.599 you start to see it everywhere and it just makes 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:48.440 you smile real big, like, oh, we're not alone. Bobby 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:52.799 keeps telling me, I'm woke now, but us certain things 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:54.960 on the Bobby Bone Show. So what I want to 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:58.599 bring up now is absurd celebrity diets. And this is 0:05:58.640 --> 0:06:01.480 something that we mentioned and on the Bobby Bones Show, 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:03.839 and I immediately pulled it and thought, I want to 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:07.720 talk about this on Outweigh, not what they're doing and 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:10.839 what the diets are, because again that's not what this 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:13.280 podcast is for. We're not here to give you tips 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:16.000 and tools for you to continue on with any sort 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:20.360 of patterns. But I just feel like it's click bait 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:23.279 to where sometimes even on the show, we know that's 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:24.960 going to be what's interesting for people to hear in 0:06:25.000 --> 0:06:28.360 their cars that yeah, oh, Reese Witherspoon did a fourteen 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:32.640 day baby food diet or something like that. Snooky had 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:37.960 some cookie cookie diet. Taylor Swift was drinking like cheese, 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:40.640 seeds soaked in water. Again not giving like all the 0:06:40.680 --> 0:06:43.279 full details, but like these little things that you see 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:46.719 somebody else doing and you think that for whatever reason, 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:50.960 if you're trying to latch onto something they have or 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:53.839 a body part that you want, you think by doing 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:56.880 this one thing, you're suddenly going to get it, which 0:06:56.880 --> 0:07:00.960 I can guarantee you. Even though I is doing the 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:06.239 lemon and the smoothies and eating pretty light, I still 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:09.760 had days where my body was starving so naturally I 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:13.520 binged even before my eating disorder came back, like full 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:17.280 blown purging behavior. That was only after the death of 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:19.040 my mom in two thousand and fourteen. So I would 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:21.760 say for four years from two thousand ten thousand and fourteen, 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:25.000 I just had binges, but I didn't ever feel the 0:07:25.040 --> 0:07:27.040 need to get rid of anything. My body was so 0:07:27.120 --> 0:07:28.880 hungry and I'd be like, why can't I stop eating? 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:32.760 And was smart, Yeah, that's why I wanted food. Yes, 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:35.040 I think that those though to speak on that is 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:38.040 one of the reasons that they're so use the word 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:42.000 clickbait is because extreme behaviors and extreme results, that's what 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:45.960 draws people to things that's like sexy, extreme anything that's 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:48.640 what we want as a culture. I haven't heard about 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:50.960 the baby food diet, but like, yeah, it's like, oh 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.040 that's crazy. Let me see if I can look into that. 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:55.000 What's that going to do for me? Yeah? I think 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:58.280 it's just the idea of blending everything up. Not that 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:03.520 she was getting like Gerber Gerber baby food, but so 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:07.480 you're getting everything. And actually the plan that I followed 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:10.000 for a while, she would talk about just for simpler digestion, 0:08:10.640 --> 0:08:14.800 you blend everything, so it's just you're getting the nutrients, 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:17.600 but it's already broken down for you and your body's 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:19.880 having to not do a bunch of work, and it 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:22.320 moves through the other thing I want to point out 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:25.040 when it comes to celebrities, any kind of celebrity, is 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:28.600 that that's their job, especially for athletes. People look at 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:30.280 a lot of athletes and like what are what are 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:32.600 they eating? What is I don't know, like sports people, 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:35.320 but like the Peyton man who's married to Giselle tom Brady, 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:37.400 tom Brady, Oh my gosh, no, no, I'm so glad 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:43.920 you're saying this. I before before, yes, before I was 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:49.120 awakened for your woke because tom Brady was talking about 0:08:49.160 --> 0:08:53.320 how he didn't consume night shades because of inflammation, which 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:57.880 what is night shades? People might not well, bell peppers, tomatoes, mushrooms. 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:01.160 Because again, he is a per professional athlete and his 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:04.920 job is to perform as one of the top quarterbacks 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:08.560 of all time. So I'm sure, yes, for his job 0:09:08.640 --> 0:09:11.720 he tries out different things to keep inflammation down. But 0:09:12.080 --> 0:09:14.880 then I thought, well, if Tom Brady is doing it 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:22.520 and don't need to ask me, I thought, for whatever reason, 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:25.520 I need to to eliminate night shades, and I did 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:28.720 for quite some time. And I like salsa. I love salsa, 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:31.240 and I remember one time putting salsa on something and 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:34.120 I thought Tom Brady would never do this. And I 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.400 don't even know it's because I read an article that 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:39.440 was my point when I was making because Kat and 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:42.560 I did not discuss this beforehand where we were going 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:44.760 to go. So that is hilarious, Yes, it is. That's 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:47.160 his job is to be a professional athlete, and so 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:50.800 the workouts he's doing and the foods he's eating, those 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:53.800 are designed by people that he worked very closely with. 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:55.959 Not to say it's good for him or bad for him. 0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:57.840 I don't know if that diet is long term or 0:09:57.840 --> 0:09:59.920 if he has his own stuff, I don't know that. 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:02.720 At the point is we shouldn't be looking for people 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:05.040 who are trying to change your body for a movie 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:09.000 role or trying to get into the Olympics. We shouldn't 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:10.880 be looking at don't even get me started on the 0:10:10.880 --> 0:10:13.760 movie role thing. Because speaking of the Bobby Bones show, Eddie, 0:10:14.120 --> 0:10:17.680 our video producer, he just read Matthew McConaughey's book green 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:20.840 Light and read that it's okay, very good. I just 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:23.920 started the audio version, Are your audio or Audio? Because 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:27.000 his voice, he's really good at it. So the book 0:10:27.000 --> 0:10:29.960 I'm currently like reading with my eyeballs is maybe you 0:10:29.960 --> 0:10:31.920 should talk to someone, which makes me think of Cat 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:33.960 because Cats a therapist, and that book is written by 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:36.439 a therapist. So I will recommend that one here to y'all. 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:38.840 It's so good. But I did just start the audio 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:41.680 Matthew McConaughey book because Eddie read it and said it 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:44.640 was so good. And then he in the book talked 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:47.280 about the diet he went on for Dallas Buyers Club 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:51.400 and he had to lose fifty pounds or something ridiculous 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.720 how much. I'm not in that part yet, but Eddie 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:57.600 said he had two egg whites for breakfast, five ounces 0:10:57.640 --> 0:10:59.559 of fish for lunch with some vegetables, and then five 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:02.000 ounces of fish with some vegetables for dinner. And that's it. 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:05.720 If you haven't seen Dallas Buyers Club, it's about a 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:10.439 person who ended up with HIV and so Matthew McConaughey 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:14.880 playing that character had to have his body get to 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:18.880 that stage. And so now Eddie, because he's reading that 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:21.440 and he wants to trim up in the new year, 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:25.360 has been on what he's calling the Matthew McConaughey, which 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:27.839 that wasn't Matthew's intent of putting it in his book, 0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:30.640 but again, that was for his job. He was doing 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:33.520 it for a role. And I just roll my eyes 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:37.520 at Eddie every morning and laugh because it's not going 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:41.720 to be sustainable and his body needs carbs. And also 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:44.520 he's not playing the role of a sick person on 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:47.920 TV or a movie. Well, and that's not even to say, yeah, 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:50.040 he's doing that for that role. And I even think 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:53.559 that's sad that that's encouraged in some spaces, because there's 0:11:53.640 --> 0:11:57.120 plenty of stories that I've read about, whether they're athletes 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:00.240 or actors that have had to been on certain diets 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:02.720 and their bodies look certain ways for certain things, and 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:05.080 then once they're not in that space anymore, they have 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:07.520 a really hard time sitting and being with their body 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:10.480 because it doesn't look that way anymore because they've developed 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:12.840 that's the whole point of diets. They help us develop 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:17.160 disordered eating, which turns into eating disorders. So even though 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:20.520 Matthew McConaughey did that for a movie and that was 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:23.480 his job, I don't, as a therapist works with this, 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:25.400 don't want to be like that's okay that he did 0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:27.240 that for that reason, because that could have really hurt 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:28.800 him as well. I'm not to that part of the 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:31.000 book yet, so I don't know how it affected him. 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:32.840 But there are plenty of people that has and there's 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:36.679 plenty of like gymnasts and and ice skaters specifically, who 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:39.480 had to look a certain way for their sport and 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:42.040 how to do extreme behaviors for their sport. It might 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:44.640 have even promoted them while they are doing them, and 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:47.079 then now that they are in that space anymore, it's 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:49.440 been really hard on them to sit in what is 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.800 their actual normal set point for their body right, And 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:56.720 then that trickles down to us us, because then we 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:01.400 try the extreme thing they and we go back to 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:05.840 whatever or our body shifts and whatever season of life, 0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:08.840 and then we have trouble sitting with ourselves and it's 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:13.560 a domino effect. And I also another book, Speaking of 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:17.199 books that celebrities have written, I ordered Jane Fonda's book, 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:20.160 the one from a while ago, like two thousand and six, 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:24.040 called My Life So Far, because I saw an article 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:29.079 somewhere that she discussed openly her eating disorder, and I thought, 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:31.320 how in the world did I not know that Jane 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:34.320 Fonda had an eating disorder? And why it was interesting 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:36.560 to me is because as a kid, I have vivid 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:39.800 memories of my mom doing Jane Fonda workouts in our 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:44.199 living room. We had forest screen carpet, four a screen wallpaper, 0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:49.400 and apparently in the eighties four screen countertops like four 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:53.199 screen was really was in and my parents loved it. 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:55.840 But that's my that's where my brain goes as my 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:59.200 mom like on our four screen carpet in front of 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:04.760 the TV doing and scissor to three and pool weeds too, 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:07.600 three four, and Jane Fonda right there on the TV 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.880 just looking so cute and her leotard and her leggings 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:13.440 and her little what are those things called leg warmers? 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:17.360 And I just thought she was the coolest. And so 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:20.040 when I would join my mom, it was about a 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:24.320 thirty minute work out and my sister and I that's 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:27.000 a memory that we have. So that's probably why the 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:29.240 Jane Fonda things stood out to me. But again, I 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:31.080 just saw her as this when I was a kid, 0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:35.760 this beautiful actress with workout tapes and my mom doing 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:39.960 them right. So I'm gonna share little just parts from 0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:42.360 the book that I think we'll give you a picture 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:44.040 of what we're talking about without you having to like 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:46.960 read this whole chapter. So she starts off by saying, 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:50.000 my feelings of imperfection centered on my body. It became 0:14:50.040 --> 0:14:53.280 my personal armageddon. She had a cat, by the way, 0:14:53.320 --> 0:14:56.040 just update you. She lost her mom to suicide, and 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:59.160 she had several step moms that had eating disorders and 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:00.640 they were just in her life life. And her dad 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:02.920 played a role too. So then she goes into that 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:07.080 my father was implicated as well. Dad had an obsession 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.560 with women being thin. The Fonda cousins have told me 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:12.920 that this was true of all the men in the 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:18.000 family going back generations. On his deathbed, Doe Fonda asked 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:21.560 his daughter, Cindy, have you lost weight? Yet? She wasn't fat. 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:25.600 In parentheses, she put eating disorders abound and fond of women, 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:29.240 and at least two of Dad's five wives suffered from bulimia. 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:32.800 Once I hit adolescence, the only time my father ever 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:35.160 referred to how I looked was when he thought I 0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:38.680 was too fat. Then it was always his wife who 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:41.320 would be sent to let me know he was displeased 0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:44.400 that he wanted me to wear a different, less revealing 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:48.480 bathing suit, a looser belt, or a longer dress. The 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:51.160 truth is I was never fat, but that wasn't what 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:54.320 mattered for a girl trying to please others. What mattered 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.080 was how I saw myself, how I'd learned to see 0:15:57.120 --> 0:16:02.200 myself through others judgmental, object defying eyes. And then there's 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:05.320 an astis here at the bottom of the chapter where 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:07.560 she said, I don't mean to suggest that all girls 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:10.640 who strive for perfection and feel inadequate end up with 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:13.880 an eating disorder, but too many do. Every decade, five 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:17.359 point six percent of people. Again, these statistics are from 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:20.280 several years ago, but she said every decade, five point 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:23.000 six percent of people with anorexy and believe me, a die, 0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:25.760 which is about twelve times higher than the annual death 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:29.120 rate due to all causes of death among females ages 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:33.600 fifteen to twenty four in the general population. So I 0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:37.040 have goose bumps even while I read it, because I 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:43.000 thought Jane Fonda loved herself and she how could she not? Yes, 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:47.280 there she is and as you read more again that's 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:50.560 just parts from one page, but you see into her 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:56.000 insecurities and how she didn't feel that way. And I mean, 0:16:56.560 --> 0:17:00.480 fortunately something in her father's family was pasted down to him, 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:02.680 which was then passed down to her. And there's a 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:05.280 lot of different factors that probably make us why we 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:08.320 are the way we are about our insecurities or our bodies. 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:11.080 But to have that right into your own home, and 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:13.800 then you know, she went and projected it on to 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:17.640 everybody else with her workout videos. And meanwhile she was miserable. 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:19.640 That was a season in her life where she wasn't 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.880 even in tune with what was going on. And now 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:25.440 she calls herself where she is in life now her 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:28.600 third act, and now she's learned to accept her body 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:32.280 and where she is. So I just think our conversation is, 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:35.439 why wait till your third act in life? I'm in 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:38.120 the probably my second act right now. I think that's 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:43.359 a good I think. I think the second act. I 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:46.919 think I don't know how they define it, maybe fifty 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:50.560 seventy or something. Well, I'm just making that up, but 0:17:50.960 --> 0:17:52.879 I just I like thinking of it in that way, 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:55.800 and why put it off? And why do we? Why? 0:17:55.880 --> 0:17:57.480 Why do we? Why does it take us so long? 0:17:57.560 --> 0:17:59.520 Cat Like, what do you think take so long for 0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:03.080 its to seep in? Even we see celebrities, maybe we'll 0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:07.399 stop following the latest clickbait because eventually that celebrity is 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.200 going to write a memoir about it in their third act, 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:12.359 and they're gonna be like, I can't believe I wasted 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:14.960 so many years worried about being thin. Well, you know, 0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:17.280 I was, as you're reading that, I was thinking that 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:19.439 with any of these diets, and I don't know how 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:21.040 eloquent I'm gonna be able to say this, but with 0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:24.040 any of these diets and with her and her workout 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:27.400 videos and all that stuff, we're sending out the message 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:29.680 that if you look like this or you do this stuff, 0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:32.399 and you get this body and you do this extreme 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:34.960 diet that you will be happy and you will love 0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:38.600 yourself more. And even for the people that are in 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.840 the spotlight, the beyonces that all of those kind of 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:44.560 people that like they are their bodies are part of 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:47.560 their brand. They don't need to look like that. There's 0:18:47.600 --> 0:18:50.359 no reason that that should be the goal of your 0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:53.720 brand is going to be having this body that every idealizes. 0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:57.800 I think that's one of the issues. Is nobody, nobody, 0:18:58.240 --> 0:19:00.560 no matter who you are, should have to do a 0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:03.760 workout that you don't like, or follow a meal plan 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:08.080 that makes you have to shrink your life in general 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:10.920 to look a certain way. But we send the message 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:12.800 that our bodies and what they look like are more 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:15.080 important than how we feel on the inside. And I 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:19.760 think that's overarching. That's why it's so attractive, because those 0:19:20.040 --> 0:19:24.040 diets and those workouts point us to what the world 0:19:24.080 --> 0:19:28.280 says will give us happiness and freedom from our insecurities, 0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:31.040 when really they just make them deeper. But we have 0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:33.639 to first get rid of the message that having a 0:19:33.680 --> 0:19:37.000 certain body and looking a certain way is that important. 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:39.920 That is everywhere in our culture. It's everywhere. It makes 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:42.480 me think of I love that we're talking about celebrities books, 0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:45.200 Jessica Simpsons. Oh my gosh, did I tell you to 0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:49.840 read that one? No? I don't think so was obsessed. 0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:52.720 Did you know they're turning it into an Amazon show? Yes? Yeah, 0:19:52.920 --> 0:19:55.160 and they're turning Maybe you should talk to Somebody into 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:57.240 a show too. I was thinking that it would be 0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:00.520 a great movie that they're going to do a show. Okay, awesome. 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:03.560 So I listened to Jessica Simpson's book a couple of 0:20:03.600 --> 0:20:06.120 months ago when I was like redoing my house. It's 0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:09.080 what I would listen to. And I've had so many 0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:12.159 clients read it too, because I grew up with Jessica 0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:16.560 Simpson and I never imagined but I remember when she 0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:19.200 talked about that mom picture, the mom jeans. I remember 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:22.560 when that happened. And I'm sure on the Bobby Bones 0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:27.040 Show I probably reported on it. Yes, I mean, why 0:20:27.359 --> 0:20:29.600 is it the fact that Jessica Simpson looks like she's 0:20:29.600 --> 0:20:32.560 gained weight a big deal? Also, she didn't gain weight 0:20:32.640 --> 0:20:34.800 like she just that was an angle of a picture. 0:20:35.080 --> 0:20:37.800 But why does it matter anyway? Like that? Like we 0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:40.720 have to pay attention to what we are allowing to 0:20:40.760 --> 0:20:43.760 fill up our brains because I don't care if Jessica 0:20:43.800 --> 0:20:47.560 Simpson gained fifteen pounds, but yet there is something when 0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:51.359 media and click bait does make it a thing, then 0:20:51.680 --> 0:20:54.440 it's like, oh, it's a gossip that gives something to 0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:56.879 talk about. If Jessica Simpson gaining ten pounds and I 0:20:56.880 --> 0:21:01.480 feel better about myself, oh a hundred percent. If I 0:21:01.520 --> 0:21:03.800 see that, okay, then I don't feel so bad looking 0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:05.840 the way I look. When like, that's just that's a 0:21:05.920 --> 0:21:08.800 humanity problem of why are we looking to put people 0:21:08.800 --> 0:21:10.520 down in certain ways so we can feel better. Why 0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:13.080