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Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's The Velvet's

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Speaker 1: Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson. I steal some of your

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Speaker 1: energy level today, like you're a beach of B twelve

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Speaker 1: of B twelve twelve be till twelve twelve twelve Yeah,

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Speaker 1: B twelve shot man, I was going through I mean

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Speaker 1: I posted these these Uh wow, I need a BE

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Speaker 1: twelve big time. Let me start that over. You know,

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Speaker 1: today we're talking about love and dating and relationships, and

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Speaker 1: we used to call it love and sex and I

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Speaker 1: sort of was like, I mean, we're not sex experts.

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Speaker 2: God, we're not.

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Speaker 1: So it's more about like relationships, love, sex, all of

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Speaker 1: that comes into it, and we're really just sitting here

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Speaker 1: wanting to talk to you guys about it as friends,

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Speaker 1: not experts. We say that over and over and over

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Speaker 1: because obviously we're not. We don't like have it all

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Speaker 1: figured out clearly, clearly, but it is something that we

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Speaker 1: all have in common, and I think everyone has a

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Speaker 1: lot of fears or a lot of thoughts or experiences.

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Speaker 1: So I've been going through all of the questions that

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Speaker 1: I've posted on my Instagram today and just getting all

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Speaker 1: the answers for us to do this podcast and I'm

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Speaker 1: going through a breakup, and I think I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: this is like, you know, some days in a breakup,

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Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, this is going to be okay, and

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be okay, or even within the day

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Speaker 1: you have these moments and then you'll just have a

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Speaker 1: crash a little bit and it's just sad, and like,

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Speaker 1: I think that's just the process of it, of grieving

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Speaker 1: and moving on. And so I think being in the

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Speaker 1: midst of this all day has sort of just yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's been a lot for me in the state of

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Speaker 1: where my life is right now.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean I would hope that some of the

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Speaker 2: people would make you feel not alone. I mean I

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Speaker 2: haven't seen all the responses, so yeah, maybe there's that

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Speaker 2: maybe try to yeah, energy positive.

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Speaker 1: Spin on a beach twelve. Yeah, I think it is good.

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Speaker 1: I mean it it does definitely help me not feel alone.

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Speaker 1: And I think a lot of us actually have way

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Speaker 1: more similarities amongst all of the love, fears and challenges,

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Speaker 1: and so yeah, it definitely feels sad. I think I'm

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Speaker 1: just in a little funk today. If I'm being really

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Speaker 1: honest with you guys here.

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Speaker 2: It is here we go, we all go through it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I could totally sit here and be like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, we're so greatful, and I just can't do

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Speaker 1: that anymore. I've been talking about it on my Instagram too,

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Speaker 1: And it's not to be like Debbie Downer. It's just

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Speaker 1: like this is reality, right, Like life isn't perfect and

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Speaker 1: life isn't always easy. That doesn't mean it can't be

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Speaker 1: great and that there isn't happiness enjoy amongst that. But

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Speaker 1: it's just like you.

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Speaker 2: Can't be happy without sad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you actually get you actually feel happier if you

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Speaker 1: allow yourself to feel the sad. I think the whole

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Speaker 1: like dynamic the difference of that, like if you if

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Speaker 1: you really work through your feelings, the dark parts of them,

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Speaker 1: it only lifts up the positive feelings even more because

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Speaker 1: you embrace them more. And like I think the happiness

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Speaker 1: or the joy that comes after the really sad times,

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Speaker 1: you just appreciate it.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you believe it. I think we live in a

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Speaker 2: world where it's like people say, like pick your chin up,

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Speaker 2: like right, it's like bad to be sad, and I.

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Speaker 1: Think it's like I don't agree that that.

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Speaker 2: I think it's actually kind of great that you're able

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Speaker 2: to be sad and be honest about it and show

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Speaker 2: that vulnerability, because there's like a weird sort of it's

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Speaker 2: brave to do that.

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Speaker 1: Thanks, it's part of my enneagram number. Or really uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: in all feelings.

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Speaker 2: As for you're really uncomfortable comfortable comfortable, I say, God,

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Speaker 2: that's about you. That is a really terrible existence to

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Speaker 2: be uncomfortable in all feelings.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, no no, I'm very comfortable in all

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Speaker 1: feelings being exactly how I am good. Actually, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm not comfortable right now, but

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, this is.

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Speaker 2: Just what you're okay with it.

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Speaker 1: I'm just like it's like I'm not going to try

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Speaker 1: to pretend like I'm not somewhere. I am right, if

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Speaker 1: that makes sense, right. And there's moments like I feel

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Speaker 1: like this is another thing about grief that I've really

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Speaker 1: I want to keep talking about because I think that

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Speaker 1: it's again, like you said, people try to breeze past

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Speaker 1: this stuff, and it's like, just because I'm sad in

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Speaker 1: this moment right now, it's three forty five on Thursday

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Speaker 1: that we're recording this.

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Speaker 2: Nothing like the last minute.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's like in this moment, I am sad,

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Speaker 1: but like in an hour or after we record this,

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Speaker 1: I could have a total switch of emotions. You know,

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Speaker 1: like you really do go through the range, and it

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean like you're stuck in something just because you

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Speaker 1: allow yourself you.

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Speaker 2: Don't feel reckon. Yeah, you feel your way through things

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Speaker 2: where a lot of people think they're way through things.

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Speaker 1: Right. Oh my god, you and Marv, I'll tell you what.

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Speaker 2: Look at you.

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Speaker 1: You're just a basic astrologer over there. It's so true.

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Speaker 1: But I mean Marv said, I'm actually here on this

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Speaker 1: earth to teach people how to feel through things. And

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Speaker 1: because I have no other option, Like I can't when

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Speaker 1: I try to think through things, I literally go crazy

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Speaker 1: because my body is just it communicates to me all

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Speaker 1: this time.

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Speaker 2: Because you're I feel like when we all try to

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Speaker 2: rationalize things, like we try to think around the feelings,

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Speaker 2: so our rational minds don't necessarily line up with like

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Speaker 2: what our emotional minds are telling us. And it's a

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Speaker 2: lot easier to think your way through it if you

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Speaker 2: are willing to accept the emotion that you're feeling. Does

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Speaker 2: that make sense?

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to make.

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Speaker 2: You kind of have to be like, oh, I'm sad.

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Speaker 2: Now let me think about the sadness and what's making

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Speaker 2: me sad and why I'm sad in those things, and

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Speaker 2: then once you understand that, then you can think your

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Speaker 2: way out of it. But if you're just like, no,

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Speaker 2: think happy thoughts, you haven't dealt with the sadness.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So, I mean, I was sitting here reading all

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Speaker 1: these love questions and I'm like, yeah, I'm sad. I

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Speaker 1: still love you know, my ex. It doesn't like just

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Speaker 1: switch overnight or whatever. And it's like, even if the

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Speaker 1: breakup needed to happen, it's just like you can still

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Speaker 1: feel that emotion. And so I'm just letting myself feel it.

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Speaker 1: Feel it girl, Yeah, there it is.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Now you have all these students listening to you

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Speaker 2: that you're here.

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Speaker 1: This is how you share the world, This is this

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Speaker 1: is what you were put on earth to do. What

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Speaker 1: I mean again, look at this positivity with Kelly Anderson. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so that's mine. Be sad that you're sad, but also

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Speaker 1: can we talk about the fact that you walked into

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Speaker 1: my house today and I was like, holy shit, you've

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Speaker 1: lost weight. It's been a week since I've seen you.

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Speaker 2: A week and I lost thirteen pounds this week.

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Speaker 1: My gosh, if you guys listened to our podcast last week,

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Speaker 1: Chip started a new diet called the Meddi DM Weight

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Speaker 1: Loss Many Weight Loss, and it really got you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean I've I've eaten so much lean protein

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Speaker 2: over the last seven days. But it's crazy because it's

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Speaker 2: like I have to eat between nine hundred and eleven

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Speaker 2: hundred calories, which sounds like what, like that's you can

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Speaker 2: eat a cheeseburger at McDonald's that has fourteen hundred calories,

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Speaker 2: you know, but when you're eating lean protein, and literally

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Speaker 2: the only greens I could eat last week were like romain, lettuce, spinach,

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Speaker 2: kale or broccolini. That was it because they're all really

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Speaker 2: super low carb. When you're eating that much lean protein.

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Speaker 2: There is thirty five calories in an ounce of chicken,

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Speaker 2: so it takes a lot of chicken to get to

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Speaker 2: nine hundred calories. Like there were some days I had

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Speaker 2: seven hundred calories and I was full of energy. I'd

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Speaker 2: have three meals and two snacks, but like my snacks

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Speaker 2: are like you know, sugar free jell o.

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Speaker 1: Sure you know, and you can you do like almonds

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Speaker 1: and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Now the second week, I can I can have twelve

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Speaker 2: almonds a day. Twelve, yeah, twelve. It's a slippery slope,

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Speaker 2: is what my doctor told me. Stay away from nuts

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Speaker 2: because it's She's like, it's not six handfuls, it's you

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Speaker 2: can have six twice a day.

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Speaker 1: Is that a life lesson? Stay away from nuts?

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Speaker 2: Well? You good? Good thing? They come in bears.

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Speaker 1: Also, can we talk about your can I sell this?

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Speaker 1: So she was talking about his blood work and he's like,

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Speaker 1: you know what's so crazy is that she found She

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Speaker 1: told me that I have super low testosterone and like

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Speaker 1: it's been a thing, what since you were an elementary she.

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Speaker 2: Said, based and when I told her that when I

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Speaker 2: started gaining weight, because my weight is yoyad like my

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Speaker 2: whole life, and it was like I started gaining weight

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Speaker 2: in like elementary school. And she told me that based

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Speaker 2: on the things that I had said to her and

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Speaker 2: when I started gaining weight, that she thought I might

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Speaker 2: have low testosterone. And I don't remember the unit of measure,

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Speaker 2: but it was like whatever that unit of measure was,

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Speaker 2: twenty one is testicular failure and I'm at a twenty

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Speaker 2: six and in the range I need to get up

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Speaker 2: to like ninety. So she wants me to start doing

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Speaker 2: hormone replacement therapy, which, by the way, Dak Shepherd does.

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Speaker 1: Oh god.

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Speaker 2: And because here we go and I had actually asked

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Speaker 2: my pre my like general care doctor about this month ago,

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Speaker 2: and he's like, I don't think you need it, So

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Speaker 2: I kind of just brushed it off. But like, this

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Speaker 2: is blood work that shows that I actually do and

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Speaker 2: it can improve a lot of things like mood, energy level, erections,

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Speaker 2: all of it. You know, it's not just like it's

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Speaker 2: not just sex drive stuff. It's like everything. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: when we were talking about it earlier, Kelly was like,

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Speaker 2: wait a minute, what if you start taking this stuff

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Speaker 2: and then all you want to do is have sex

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Speaker 2: of women.

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Speaker 1: I was like, what if all of a sudden, you're

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Speaker 1: not You're not You're like your testosterone level has just

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Speaker 1: been really low.

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Speaker 2: Like I find out that it's just like it wasn't

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Speaker 2: that I wasn't interested in women. I just wasn't interested.

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Speaker 1: You just weren't interested.

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Speaker 2: Thought that was gay. And then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: out to my way through.

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Speaker 1: Guys, actually we're here to tell you guys.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I asked her who I would date and she goes,

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Speaker 2: I don't know a lot of options.

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Speaker 1: Literally, all you do is hang out with single women.

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Speaker 1: Oh boy, Well a girl can dream.

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Speaker 2: That you.

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Speaker 1: All of a sudden that we're dating.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, why would.

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Speaker 1: It be awkward?

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Speaker 2: Well, just like having to break the news to the

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Speaker 2: rest of our friends and I guess still listeners.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that day.

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Speaker 2: But I don't think we have to worry about it.

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Speaker 1: We'll let you guys know if Chip starts his testosterone

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Speaker 1: treatment and all of a sudden it's straight but TVD, TVD,

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Speaker 1: All right, should we get into this?

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Speaker 2: Sure?

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Speaker 1: Okay, So the first question that I asked on my

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Speaker 1: Instagram was how many people have you guys said I

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Speaker 1: love you too? These are all Also, this is a reminder.

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Speaker 1: This is the month of Love, and so everything we've

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Speaker 1: talked about on the Velvet Edge podcast this month has

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Speaker 1: been love related, relationship related, when love goes wrong, or

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Speaker 1: if you have dysfunctional love or addicted love. There's Kelly

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Speaker 1: McDaniel's podcast about mother hunger, why we pick the people

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Speaker 1: we pick, and all of the rest of the month

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Speaker 1: is going to be in line with that as well.

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Speaker 1: So this month, obviously our sex, dating and Relationships podcast

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Speaker 1: is really geared towards things about love, Valentine's Day, just

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Speaker 1: the month of love, and so I wanted to know

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Speaker 1: how many people you guys said I love you too.

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Speaker 1: First of all, can we talk about all the math

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Speaker 1: that this involved for me? And you know this is

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Speaker 1: not much strong.

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Speaker 2: I had to add, like you couldn't add or count well?

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Speaker 1: I count well, there were so many, So this isn't

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Speaker 1: This is what I was trying to tell you earlier.

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Speaker 1: I've been spending all of my day going through these answers,

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Speaker 1: which I am so appreciative because you guys really came

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Speaker 1: with your A game on these responses. So I was

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Speaker 1: tallying through them and then I had to do percentages.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it was like so official, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: who do I think I am? You know I'm not

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Speaker 1: good at math. This is a mess up. When we

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Speaker 1: were having to add up like group dinners, I'm always like,

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Speaker 1: either figure it out. I can't do it. Yeah, just

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Speaker 1: tell me what I okay? So, anyway, how many times

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Speaker 1: have you said it? Chip?

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Speaker 2: I counted I think four, me too. Yeah. My first

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Speaker 2: one was my high school girlfriend and I did I.

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Speaker 1: Was like, I love tests for st Yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: still kicking them.

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Speaker 2: The second time was my first boyfriend for sure, and

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Speaker 2: then my last two like serious relationships.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the same for me. My high school boyfriend

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Speaker 1: who I dated for nine years, which is really bizarre.

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Speaker 1: I said it to him first, and then I've had

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Speaker 1: three other serious relationships that I've said that word in.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I can like kind of look back on

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Speaker 2: a couple maybe, like, yeah, my first boyfriend. One was

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Speaker 2: like I thought I loved him, you know, like it

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Speaker 2: was so many years ago at this point that it's

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Speaker 2: like hard for me to go back and be like,

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Speaker 2: I absolutely did.

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Speaker 1: Did you say it to him? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I definitely said it.

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Speaker 1: Is he a part of the four?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a part of the four?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, But you don't know, if you really.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I actually I can't remember what

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Speaker 2: I was feeling. Like, I know that it was like

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Speaker 2: everything was heightened because it was like my first experience.

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Speaker 1: A guy, and I see what you're saying.

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Speaker 2: It very well could have been like that. I was

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Speaker 2: more excited about, like the idea of it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's an interesting point. And there were a lot

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Speaker 1: of people who wrote in saying that they had. Like

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Speaker 1: Abby says, I've said it eight times, but only three

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Speaker 1: were real. The rest I was weak and desperate. Rachel

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Speaker 1: said five, counting teen years and twenties. Only one one

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Speaker 1: of those resonates now is true love. Looking back, Money

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Speaker 1: said romantic, I love you fifteen, but in retrospect, I

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Speaker 1: only loved or truly loved three of them. So I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I guess a lot of people like go,

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Speaker 1: like when you're in high school or younger, maybe say

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Speaker 1: it a bunch and then you realize I was fortunate

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Speaker 1: enough that obviously the nine year relationship guy like I

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Speaker 1: truly experienced real love, right, And so I actually didn't

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Speaker 1: say it again for many, many years after that because

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Speaker 1: I think I've realized what it was. And so anyone

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Speaker 1: I dated, like temporarily or briefly, like I just knew

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Speaker 1: I didn't love them or couldn't love them yet, like

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Speaker 1: I had the experience of knowing what it felt like.

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Speaker 2: Well, I wonder how many people someone has said it

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Speaker 2: to them and they just say it back to like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: not feel that, like let that just be awkward space. No.

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Speaker 1: It makes me sort of freaked out about like hopefully

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Speaker 1: we're at the age now. I mean, I'm almost forty

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Speaker 1: or in your forties where people would know authentically that

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Speaker 1: they're in love. But it's kind of scary if you're

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Speaker 1: like in your twenties and people are doing that, to

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Speaker 1: think are people just saying.

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Speaker 2: It like yeah, I mean, it's kind of freaky. I'm

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Speaker 2: trying to remember, Like I can't remember if any of

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Speaker 2: mine were that situation or not where you just said it,

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Speaker 2: where yeah, or I like just responded with I love

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Speaker 2: you too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't think they were the first time they

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Speaker 1: said it. You could do that. This is again where

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Speaker 1: I go like if I can't, if I'm not really

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Speaker 1: feeling something, I.

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Speaker 2: Can't say my most recent one, I said it first, Okay,

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Speaker 2: so I can't remember who said it first in the

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Speaker 2: other one, so I really those brains olds are dead

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Speaker 2: along with the relationships.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never said it first.

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Speaker 2: I wonder if that has to do with you being

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Speaker 2: a woman. I think so, like it's just patriarchal bullshit.

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Speaker 1: Actually that's not true. I said it first one time,

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Speaker 1: but it was like he had hinted at something and

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Speaker 1: maybe it was just like I think I said it.

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Speaker 1: I think I was.

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Speaker 2: Also like I love you too.

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Speaker 1: I know he had said stuff before. This was maybe

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Speaker 1: the second guy I said I love you too, but

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Speaker 1: everyone else said it first, but I was right there

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Speaker 1: like I felt it too, and so it was like

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Speaker 1: it's sort of this like unsaid maybe you know where

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Speaker 1: the people are emotionally and they're like rite in line

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Speaker 1: with them, like there's been no one who's ever said

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Speaker 1: it to me that. I was like, yeah, I like

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Speaker 1: that response you gave a couple of weeks ago though,

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Speaker 1: that was like we're reading the same.

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Speaker 2: We're on this I'm reading the same book, but we're

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Speaker 2: just not on the same chapter, on.

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Speaker 1: Different chapters, said.

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Speaker 2: Something along I'm reading that book too, or we're just

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Speaker 2: in different chapters.

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Speaker 1: Something like that, so you know that you're kind of

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Speaker 1: getting there. That would still make me a little but hurt.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's like, look, but I would much rather know

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Speaker 2: that someone's like, hey, I'm on my way.

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Speaker 1: To that and when they said it, you would that's honest.

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Speaker 2: That is honest. Yes, yeah, And it's like you know,

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Speaker 2: when is the right time to say it, like the

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Speaker 2: first time that you feel it, Like you don't want

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Speaker 2: to be like, oh, I love you, like right, you

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Speaker 2: need to process that feeling. Make sure that it's real, yeah,

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Speaker 2: so that when you do say it, it's actually truth.

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Speaker 2: So it's like an awkward thing like hey baby, there's

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Speaker 2: something I need to tell you, Like no, like I

355
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Speaker 2: feel like you want it to feel really natural and

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Speaker 2: just honest. So I feel like when someone drops that

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Speaker 2: on you and you're not ready to say it, like

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Speaker 2: it's such a sweet answer, like I'm walking that path,

359
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Speaker 2: like let me get there, like I'm feeling it, Like

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Speaker 2: I always.

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Speaker 1: Know when it's like the simple thing that they're doing.

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Speaker 1: It's like a it's like a daily task and you

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Speaker 1: look at them and you just fucking love how they're

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Speaker 1: doing it, or there's some weird quirk that they have

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Speaker 1: and you find yourself smiling because you just you're just

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Speaker 1: so overwhelmed with that feeling. To me, that's when I

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Speaker 1: always know, like it's true less.

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Speaker 2: Right, Or when you're like leaving I don't know if

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Speaker 2: you're going on a trip or something or like and

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Speaker 2: you're just like god, it's like you missed them in

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Speaker 2: such a way that you know it's long.

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Speaker 1: You just know you do you want another percentages because

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Speaker 1: I spent a lot of time.

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Speaker 2: Yes, well I'm going to take a I'm gonna take

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Speaker 2: a guess that they might be accurate or they might

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Speaker 2: not be.

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Speaker 1: They are actually triple chat. Okay, but I want to

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Speaker 1: know your guess. What do you think the most or

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Speaker 1: the highest number was?

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Speaker 2: Like what the average or what I.

381
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Speaker 1: Wanted you to guess what the majority of people said

382
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Speaker 1: as the highest percentage? Does that make sense?

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Speaker 2: How? I just like numbers came.

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Speaker 1: Back with the most. Yes? Is right?

385
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Speaker 2: Does that make is this a yes or no question?

386
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Speaker 1: I thought the question the number people? This is so complicated.

387
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Speaker 2: Math is like Spanish to me. I think eight, eight.

388
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Speaker 2: I don't know what like some girls said fifteen so much?

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Speaker 1: Oh my, you think people? No, No, you're doing highest

390
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Speaker 1: number as the most Is that what you're saying. I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: You guys did not in this so like this is

392
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Speaker 2: off the cuff. This is live.

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Speaker 1: I think they know this is off the cuff. This

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Speaker 1: is so pathetically like.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, you're asking me what do you think the

396
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Speaker 2: average number is? I think two?

397
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:13,840
Speaker 1: Is it average? Though?

398
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,480
Speaker 2: Yeah? If you're like taking the number of people divided,

399
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Speaker 2: like you said six, he said seven, she said eight,

400
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Speaker 2: and together by the number of people, that's the average.

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Speaker 1: It's an average. Okay. See, I don't even know that.

402
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Speaker 2: It's not even the maths, it's the terminology.

403
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Speaker 1: I thought it would be the majority of people said

404
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Speaker 1: X number.

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Speaker 2: Well that I mean that would that kind of says

406
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Speaker 2: the same thing, like the majority of people says it three.

407
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:44,320
Speaker 1: Okay, Well so your guess is too. Yeah, you are correct.

408
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:45,119
Speaker 2: Look at me.

409
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Speaker 1: Oh my god. Plan twenty seven point six percent said

410
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Speaker 1: to followed very closely by three.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I see what you're saying. That is the majority

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Speaker 2: because you went percentages. Okay. Yeah.

413
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 1: So I also thought about it because a couple of

414
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Speaker 1: people wrote in their age, and I think that plays

415
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 1: a factor because you know, like I'm thirty nine. I've

416
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 1: said it four times, which feels like a pretty appropriate

417
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:16,439
Speaker 1: number for my age. Like I've had four serious boyfriends.

418
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Speaker 1: I've dated a lot more guys, but like I knew

419
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Speaker 1: I didn't love those guys, you know, or they were

420
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 1: short to them. Well, I didn't love them, so I

421
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Speaker 1: just left them. But they weren't serious relationships, you know,

422
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 1: and so like you don't get to that level with somebody.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, and then like a couple other people had

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Speaker 1: had a few higher number than four, but they were

425
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Speaker 1: a age appropriate for that, and I mean, I don't

426
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Speaker 1: I'm saying appropriate. I don't. This isn't judgy, but it's

427
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Speaker 1: just like I think that's like about right. So probably

428
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Speaker 1: a lot of our listeners fall into the two to

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Speaker 1: three category range. Do you want to know the third yes? One?

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Speaker 2: Huh?

431
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 1: Seventeen point six percent said one, and I think a

432
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,280
Speaker 1: lot of them set it to the per and they

433
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Speaker 1: got married to Wow his eyes.

434
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Speaker 2: I'm laughing because I was just thinking about the like

435
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Speaker 2: debucle we just went through to get to these percentages.

436
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Speaker 1: I just have to say them because there's time a.

437
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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I love it. I just hadn't seen your lists,

438
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Speaker 2: so I didn't know what was coming.

439
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Speaker 1: Average majority was, so I.

440
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,479
Speaker 2: Mean that makes sense. It's so funny, like I know

441
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,600
Speaker 2: so many people like cool people, and maybe this is

442
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,120
Speaker 2: something even weird to say aloud, but I've thought it before, like, hey,

443
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,280
Speaker 2: people that like marry their high school sweetheart, I'm like,

444
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:39,160
Speaker 2: that's sex with one person their whole life, right, I mean,

445
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 2: I'm not it's not judgment. It's just like I can't

446
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 2: wrap my head around there. Yeah, especially because like I'm

447
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say any names, but like people

448
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,199
Speaker 2: that are like really interesting and magnetic and good looking.

449
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 2: And it's like people that you would have thought, like

450
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,399
Speaker 2: would have fucked their way through college, but were with

451
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 2: their high school sweetheart married them, and it's the only

452
00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 2: person they probably ever slept with.

453
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,399
Speaker 1: It saves you a lot of heartache. Yeah, good for

454
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 1: those seventeen point six.

455
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 2: Percent, Like, do you think there's a chance that they're

456
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,919
Speaker 2: just bad in bad like their whole lives because they haven't.

457
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 1: I would hope they like explore with their partner, but

458
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 1: could be.

459
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,159
Speaker 2: But if neither of them knows what good is or

460
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:20,360
Speaker 2: has anything to compare it to. Yeah, I don't know if.

461
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,040
Speaker 1: You should ask them about it. Yeah, he just whispered.

462
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 1: Somebody heard it. I'm just like, I didn't want to

463
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:25,240
Speaker 1: know that about that person.

464
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,640
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know. I'm just assuming.

465
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,159
Speaker 1: I would assume you're assuming bad in bed because I

466
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 1: would too. Fourteen percent said four. Ten point six percent

467
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 1: said five. And then it gets smaller and small and smaller.

468
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 1: There was one person, one person who has said it

469
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 1: twenty times.

470
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 2: Somebody needs to learn the meaning.

471
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. Then there was a couple of people who wrote

472
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 1: me in not a couple. There's a lot actually, and

473
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 1: they were like, I'm one of those people who just

474
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,400
Speaker 1: says it a thousand times a day, you know, likes.

475
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 1: I'm wondering if, like the people that exist like that,

476
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 1: who just say it all the time, doesn't it lose

477
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 1: its luster when you're saying it to everybody all the time?

478
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,440
Speaker 1: I love you by love you mean it?

479
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I think it does. When I was

480
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:10,719
Speaker 2: a kid, my mother used to say, you better tell

481
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,280
Speaker 2: me you love me before you go to bed, Like

482
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 2: what if I die in my sleep? Yeah, Like she

483
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 2: would say that shit to me, And I said to her,

484
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 2: I was like, wouldn't you rather me say it when

485
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 2: I mean it? Like, you know, I love you. You're

486
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 2: my mom, right, But like, wouldn't it just melt your

487
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,400
Speaker 2: heart if I was like, good night, mom, I love you, right,

488
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 2: instead of being like that's if I'm not a parent.

489
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 2: But like, so maybe I'm wrong and I just don't

490
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 2: know how parents feel. But to me, if my kid

491
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 2: was like just set it out of the blue, I'd

492
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 2: be like, like I would probably not sleep that night.

493
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 2: I'd be so happy.

494
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I think you as a parent, or my

495
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: experience around kids is you're you say it to them

496
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:46,320
Speaker 1: and they say it back most of the time, but

497
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 1: it's still yah.

498
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 2: But it's like, yeah, love you love you too, and

499
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 2: it's like they don't if there's no meaning behind it

500
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 2: other than.

501
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 1: You on that.

502
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

503
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 1: So I'm going to read this last one and then

504
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 1: let's move on to the next question. But Grace, I

505
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 1: just loved it answer. Grace wrote in and said, one

506
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,879
Speaker 1: time I said it to a boyfriend with hearing aids,

507
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 1: then he took them out because it just slipped out

508
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 1: of my mouth. So she basically said it to this

509
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 1: guy and he took his hearing aids out and pretended

510
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 1: not to hear. So I read that he was like

511
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 1: what and missed it?

512
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 2: What?

513
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 1: Sorry about that, Grace. Hey, the next question, do you

514
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:23,639
Speaker 1: believe in soulmates?

515
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 2: Do you? Chip? I do, but I also don't. I

516
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 2: think they can be platonic. I just I mean, I

517
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 2: think that there are people out there that and I

518
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 2: think I don't think that it's like I have a soulmate,

519
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 2: you know, like I think that there are plenty of

520
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:43,320
Speaker 2: souls out there that are good mates for my soul.

521
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 2: I think about all the time with some of my

522
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 2: closest friends, Like of all the people in the billions

523
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 2: of people in the world. Like, the fact that I

524
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 2: can have as like strong a connection with somebody as

525
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 2: I do is remarkable to me. And the only explanation

526
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,879
Speaker 2: is that it was supposed to be and that to

527
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,439
Speaker 2: me is a soulmate. I don't necessarily know that I

528
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 2: believe in like your soulmate being like the person you've fallen.

529
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: In love with, see like a one soulmate for the

530
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 1: rest of your life.

531
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know that that exists. And I do

532
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 2: think that like someone that you are romantically involved with

533
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 2: and in love with can also fill the role of

534
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 2: a soulmate. I don't know that I believe that there's just.

535
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 1: One that was kind of the majority of their spons

536
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: I mean my response would be similar in that, like

537
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 1: I feel like my soul has many mates and my friends.

538
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 1: You know, there's definitely people in my life who I'm like, oh,

539
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: my soul is so connected to them, and we were

540
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 1: supposed to be together in this lifetime. And if you

541
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:42,199
Speaker 1: are an astrology person or a spiritual person like that,

542
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 1: like Marves, they believe that you kind of have the

543
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: same people in your lifetimes over and over and over.

544
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 1: They just come in different forms. I mean, I said

545
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,920
Speaker 1: this on the last podcast, but he always has told

546
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 1: me that my ex boyfriend was a brother in a

547
00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: past life, which I'm like, gross, But but we've been

548
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 1: in each other's lives before and I've felt that, like

549
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 1: you know that feeling you have with people where you're

550
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 1: just instantly connected and you know how it feels like

551
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: you know them. That's why they say that happens. So

552
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 1: I mean, if you want to look at soulmates under that,

553
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 1: under that, guys, then yeah, that way.

554
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 2: I was going to ask, like, I mean, that's that

555
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 2: seems like it would sort of be the like nail

556
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 2: on ahead definition, like a soulmate would be someone that

557
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 2: you actually are friends from a past life, you know,

558
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 2: or romantic relationship or whatever. Siblings, Yeah, your souls are connected.

559
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so I think it just depends. But there's

560
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,640
Speaker 1: always that thing where it comes in where people are like, oh,

561
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:38,399
Speaker 1: he's my soulmate, and I actually don't know that. I

562
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 1: feel that I've had a soul's mate in a romantic relationship.

563
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: Like I think there's been certain people who have been

564
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 1: in my life for reasons, and all of my relationships

565
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 1: have served a major purpose in my growth and evolution.

566
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 1: But like if it was like a soulmate connection, does

567
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 1: that mean you stay with him for the rest of

568
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:57,479
Speaker 1: your life?

569
00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 2: Well, I think maybe it means that there's something easy

570
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 2: about it. Yeah. Now, Like I feel like all of

571
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 2: us have had really rocky relationships that we've to a

572
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 2: varying degrees like fought to like make it work, but

573
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 2: there's just something in there that's rearing its head, like

574
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:14,959
Speaker 2: this isn't gonna work, and you see it and you

575
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 2: try to work around it, but it's there and ultimately

576
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,360
Speaker 2: it hasn't worked out. I feel like when you meet

577
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 2: a soulmate romantically, whether it lasts for a long time

578
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 2: and is who you're with forever, it's just easy. Like

579
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 2: there's just something that's already there that like you can't see.

580
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like there I've probably experienced that

581
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,640
Speaker 2: even in some like just dating, you know, short term

582
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,360
Speaker 2: dating things where you're like, wow, there is a connection

583
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 2: here that I've never had before and it didn't work out.

584
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 2: So maybe it was a soulmate that just it didn't

585
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 2: work out romantically.

586
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 1: You know, or they were meant for a certain season,

587
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 1: which is a lot of what you guys wrote us

588
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 1: wrote into us about you don't believe in one soulmate

589
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 1: for the rest of your life, but you do feel

590
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 1: like you're constantly evolving, and so you're tracting in a

591
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,919
Speaker 1: different soulmate that you might need during that time. Right, So,

592
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 1: like Tina said, no, you're constantly evolving and attracting different soulmates.

593
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 1: They feel different space. Mirin said, no, you can have

594
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: a deep connection to different people based on where you

595
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,399
Speaker 1: are in your life. Mary said, I think you find

596
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 1: someone who is worth making it work, even with both

597
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: of your imperfections. So she's speaking to the like, is

598
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 1: there one soulmate for the rest of your life? And

599
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: she's saying no, But you can fall in love with

600
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 1: someone and be in a relationship or situation that you

601
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: feel they're worth it, and so you do the work.

602
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,439
Speaker 1: When things come up, you work together to try to

603
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,959
Speaker 1: work through them, and you can stay together. That's kind

604
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,679
Speaker 1: of a different dynamic, though, what is a soulmate in

605
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 1: what isn't?

606
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well, I mean I feel like if the definition

607
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 2: is kind of what we're saying that we think it is,

608
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,359
Speaker 2: then the word's sort of been co opted for the

609
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,679
Speaker 2: wrong thing, like, oh, you're my soul mean I just

610
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 2: think that so cheesy and yeah, I think so too.

611
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 1: And unrealistic because like if everyone, if you operate under

612
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: the thing of like, oh you have one so many, well,

613
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 1: then what if you get divorced or something or something

614
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: or they die right, and it's like, are you just screwed?

615
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 1: Like I remember watching there was this episode of Sex

616
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 1: in the City and Charlotte is reading this book and

617
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, she says you have two or you

618
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 1: have three great loves in your life, two or three

619
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 1: great loves in your life. And Carrie's like, okay, cool,

620
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 1: so I'm done because she had Aiden and Big, so

621
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: it must have been too. But if so, if you

622
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 1: operate under some sort of like situation like that real

623
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 1: structure like that, it's like, then what happens if you

624
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 1: don't get it right for a minute. I just think

625
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 1: that our souls call in what we need at the

626
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: time to keep evolving and growing, and so even sometimes

627
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 1: in our painful relationships, that can be the case where

628
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: that that was what your soul needed to get to

629
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 1: this next place in your life or evolt.

630
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 2: Open up your mind's eye so that you can actually

631
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 2: see what you haven't been seen. And then you're then

632
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 2: a real soulmate walks in the door, you know, and

633
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 2: you might not have been in a place to even

634
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 2: recognize it.

635
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 1: Well, you might not have been evolved in that.

636
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

637
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, it all serves a purpose, I believe. Okay, So

638
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 1: then the next question would be what is your number

639
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 1: one fear around love? Do you have one?

640
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 2: To Yes, what I wrote or I mean I didn't

641
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 2: write it. I did write it, But never finding it,

642
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 2: I think is my biggest fear. And it's it's kind

643
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 2: of like this weird like self fulfilling prophecy sort of

644
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 2: circle because I'm also like, I have an incredible fear

645
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 2: of rejection, which then makes me not go search for love,

646
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 2: which then makes me not find it, if that makes sense. Like,

647
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 2: I don't think rejection is my main fear. I think

648
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 2: the big fear is not finding it, but I continue

649
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 2: to put barriers in place. That makes sense to me

650
00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 2: that it's that makes it a reality. Yeah, And I

651
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 2: don't know, I don't know why.

652
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 1: Actually a lot of people came back with that similar response,

653
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 1: like making yourself vulnerable to love is scary enough. But

654
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 1: then also the other huge one that we got was

655
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: losing it, right, And what that would feel like if

656
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 1: it went away again, and so then you're like, oh,

657
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,200
Speaker 1: I'm never going to find it. But like you said,

658
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 1: it's a self fulfilling prophecy. In some ways, mine is

659
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: that things won't work out and I'll feel heartbreak again.

660
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: So like I get in the relationship and I feel

661
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 1: the love stuff, and then I'm like, oh God, what

662
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 1: if this goes away again? Because I've felt such heartbreak

663
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 1: in the past from bad breakups, right, and so I

664
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 1: don't want to don't want it again, but I can't.

665
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 1: I don't know, I can't block myself to love because

666
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 1: I just want to keep letting.

667
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 2: Well, what's that song lyric that's like, it's better to

668
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 2: have loved and lost than's never been loved at all

669
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 2: or never felt love at all? What's that lyric something

670
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 2: like that? I mean it's a really.

671
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: Like poem or something.

672
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's it's kind of spot on, Like

673
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 2: you know, it's you can either choose to never feel

674
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 2: love to protect yourself for the fear of losing it, yeah,

675
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 2: or you can experience what we all need and want

676
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 2: to feel and maybe have to suffer the consequences of

677
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 2: losing it. I just think it's like it's six to

678
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 2: one a half dozen of the other. It's like you

679
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 2: have to choose what the greater evil is and and

680
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 2: decide what way you want to like fit in there.

681
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: Well, it's sort of like what you were saying to

682
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 1: me at the beginning of this podcast. If we didn't

683
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: feel sad, then we wouldn't know what happy feel like.

684
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 1: And so if you don't feel love, then yeah, I mean,

685
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: I guess you wouldn't feel heartbreak. But are you living

686
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: every day in heartbreak because we're meant to connect with people.

687
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 2: Noh, no, I do. I think it's like you're it's

688
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 2: a constant heartbreak.

689
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think this is like the I'm like, why

690
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: did I do this to myself?

691
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 2: Right? No, she's about to start crying. I hear a voice.

692
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 1: It is. It's really hard because I'm like, I am

693
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: about to cry.

694
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 2: I see it. Oh God, here we go.

695
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 1: Okay, let me get my thought. So I was gonna

696
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 1: say though, I feel like, yeah, like it sucks right now,

697
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 1: but I mean I've been through stuff before and it's like,

698
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:20,479
Speaker 1: you do get to the other side of it, And

699
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 1: would I take back the love pieces?

700
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 2: No?

701
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: Wow, I didn't touch anything Chip's computer just started talking.

702
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 1: It was like Kelly's showed up and it's just trying

703
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: to help me out.

704
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 2: What was that.

705
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: I'm not sure Susan is gonna be really upset with you. Yeah,

706
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't think I would ever try

707
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 1: to hold myself back from loving again and try and

708
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 1: trying to avoid this feeling, because even though I'm in

709
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: pain right now, the love that I felt was still

710
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: worth it wasnificant. Yeah, does that make sense? So I

711
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: think it is true what you say, like it's better

712
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,480
Speaker 1: to have love and loss, but it's scared, and I

713
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 1: think that's what most of us feel when the daily

714
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: is the losing it or one of the things. A

715
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 1: lot of people wrote back. I've had multiple people say

716
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 1: that they would they're worried that they're in a relationship

717
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 1: and it's so good and the person will just fall

718
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 1: out of love. So it's like, even we can't really

719
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 1: let ourselves all the time be comfortable in these love

720
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 1: relationships are things when they're going good, because we're like,

721
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's going to end.

722
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 2: Well, you know what's funny about that statement, Like what

723
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 2: that they're more worried about someone falling out of love

724
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 2: with them than them falling out of love with somebody else.

725
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, we give we give people so much power over us,

726
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: but it's just fear. That's when I know I'm living

727
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 1: in fear is when I'm so worried about what someone

728
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 1: else is going to do that I can't even like

729
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 1: think about what I am going to do or think

730
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: or feel or any of that because I'm just like,

731
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: oh God, I don't you know, you just want to

732
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 1: avoid bad feelings, right, I think that only comes when

733
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: we have had pain in our life.

734
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean, look, I think it's just a

735
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 2: sort of we all want to live in like this

736
00:33:56,640 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 2: like copeaseetic space. And that's you know. I learned this

737
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 2: every day through management because I have to deliver bad

738
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 2: news either to the artist or to partners that we're

739
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:10,200
Speaker 2: working with, and it's like, if I can deliver bad

740
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:14,320
Speaker 2: news with as much love and honesty as as possible,

741
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 2: it makes it so much easier because the truth is

742
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 2: is like shit's going to happen, Like shit's going to happen,

743
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 2: and if we can all approach it with like grace

744
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 2: and humility and love, it makes it it's so much

745
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 2: easier to get through because there are definitely times when

746
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck, I just don't even want to deal

747
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 2: with it, Like if I maybe if I just never

748
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 2: mentioned it, it'll go away, but it doesn't, Like it

749
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,799
Speaker 2: just gets worse if you do that, So, you know,

750
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 2: I think it's the same way in a relationship. It's

751
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,839
Speaker 2: like I I look back on some of you know,

752
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 2: my even my most recent breakup, and I'm like, God,

753
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:54,359
Speaker 2: I fucking handled it wrong, like really, just because there

754
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 2: were like probably things that I should have said, just

755
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 2: to be honest, but I didn't say I'm because I

756
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 2: didn't want to hurt his feelings, you know, And and because

757
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 2: of that, I think he was just like, where is

758
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 2: this coming from? Kindsight is yeah, Like and like, I

759
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 2: don't know, I was kind of a pussy about it. Wow,

760
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 2: And that's that's a takeaway, Like I don't ever want

761
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:22,839
Speaker 2: to do that again. And I can't even give you

762
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 2: specific examples. I just remember that, Like all I could

763
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 2: say was I don't know, like I just don't I'm

764
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 2: not feeling it. Yeah, And maybe that was my truth

765
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 2: in the moment, but I'm just like I I in hindsight,

766
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 2: I just knew that I hadn't handled it right.

767
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, So well, at least you learned that in hindsight,

768
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,839
Speaker 1: because you can do it differently the next time. As

769
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,240
Speaker 1: you were sitting here talking, I was thinking to myself,

770
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: I think the way that I'm trying to live my

771
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 1: life right now, and I think this is maybe one

772
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,399
Speaker 1: of the things getting me through even though maybe today

773
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:59,799
Speaker 1: it doesn't like or seem like it, but it is

774
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 1: a thing where it's like, Okay, it hurts right now,

775
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 1: but would you take away that pain? No, And it's

776
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: part of the human condition to feel all the things.

777
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 1: But like, no love or no relationship is for nothing,

778
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: like none of it is. And so looking through the

779
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 1: silver lining of what that relationship brought to your life,

780
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: which you learned, what I figured out, like even things

781
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,840
Speaker 1: I'm good at that I didn't know, you know, or

782
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: like like in this relationship, one of the main parts

783
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,720
Speaker 1: of it was there's kids, and I'd never been around

784
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 1: a kids in a relationship before, you know, But it

785
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 1: was something I greatly wanted in my life. And so

786
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 1: I got that experience. And as hard as that was

787
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:43,359
Speaker 1: to leave, too, it's still taught me so much about

788
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:47,239
Speaker 1: what that looks like and my capability is there or

789
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 1: how you know whatever, just just still sure. But I

790
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 1: think it's like we all, if we keep operating in

791
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 1: our lives from a place of fear, you do miss

792
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: out on so much. And so like what I'm trying

793
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 1: to say to myself right now is taking those lessons

794
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 1: and also just being curious to what the universe is,

795
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:10,319
Speaker 1: you know, is like opening up to me because I

796
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 1: don't believe the universe is cruel or like wants us

797
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: to be in pain. I think it's just again part

798
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 1: of being human that you will go through painful things.

799
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: But it's like, Okay, well, that relationship served this purpose

800
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 1: in my life for so many years, and I'm grateful

801
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 1: for it for that, and I'm grateful for those people

802
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:30,839
Speaker 1: for that. And how do I evolve and grow into

803
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 1: this next version of myself that can look back graciously

804
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 1: and kindly and lovingly versus like being angry, which I've

805
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 1: done and I still do. But it's just like that

806
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 1: doesn't make the relationship feel worth it, or it doesn't

807
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,800
Speaker 1: make love feel worth it, and so I'm not gonna

808
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 1: want to do it again if I stick in that place,

809
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 1: you know. And so I think it's like coming out

810
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 1: of it and just saying like, Okay, well I'm grateful

811
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,760
Speaker 1: for this, and maybe that didn't work in my life

812
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 1: for this reason, Like there's certain parts of it that

813
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: didn't work in the next relationship on me. We were

814
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 1: conscious of that, or maybe I changed and I grew

815
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,839
Speaker 1: and so like it served a purpose for as long

816
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 1: as it could, and then it was like we went

817
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: in different directions, you know, Like I think you can

818
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 1: just walk away from it with more of that kind

819
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: of learning and that makes you want to open up

820
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: in the future and keep loving, which is the point.

821
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 2: Right absolutely.

822
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: A lot of people wrote in about their biggest fear

823
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 1: being betrayal an abandonment, which is kind of both to me.

824
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 1: Have you ever been cheated on.

825
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 2: That? You know what high school girlfriend did?

826
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, what a bitch.

827
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 2: We're actually friends now. Well, you know, it's funny because

828
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 2: she was a year younger than me and I went

829
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 2: to We dated when I was a senior, and then

830
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 2: I went to college and we were still dating, and

831
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 2: she had sex with my one of my high school

832
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:55,319
Speaker 2: best friends older brothers at a Halloween party. And I

833
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 2: think this was even pre email, and I think I

834
00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 2: wrote her a letter and called her a whore.

835
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: In a letter. In a letter, it's like it's just

836
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 1: like would you write it?

837
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 2: You old horror. It sounds like so like you know romany.

838
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like she opens up her mailbox and I.

839
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 2: See the scarlet letter, and she wrote me back and said,

840
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 2: don't judge me by your morals, and like explained why

841
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 2: she did what she did.

842
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 1: And you're like, actually, I'm gay.

843
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:32,720
Speaker 2: Like I'm gay my job. So that was a valuable

844
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:37,320
Speaker 2: lesson too. It's like she was lonely, it wasn't working anyway,

845
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 2: and it was just kind of her way out really,

846
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 2: So it's like that didn't make her a whore. Yeah,

847
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,839
Speaker 2: I wanted to hurt her with words because I.

848
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,880
Speaker 1: Was hurting of of course, I never think that cheating

849
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 1: is the right an I mean, but like in high school,

850
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,399
Speaker 1: it's not like you have the tools to communicate, hey,

851
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 1: this isn't working, and like that's you cheat and you

852
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 1: do stupid stuff and then you realize that wasn't the

853
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 1: right way to do that to get out of this

854
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 1: relationship or whatever. But I have been cheated on. I

855
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 1: talk about that a lot, but and it fucked me up.

856
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 1: It still does. I mean, I think it's something that'll

857
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 1: take me. I'll take with me for the rest of

858
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 1: my life, and I try not to let it guide

859
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:15,320
Speaker 1: my relationships, but it definitely comes up. I mean, for sure,

860
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 1: if I'm triggered into something, my immediate thought is it

861
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 1: involves another woman, Yeah, and I just always will probably,

862
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,360
Speaker 1: But so it takes upon me being with a partner

863
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 1: who can understand that trigger and like I can be

864
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 1: open and honest with them about it, you know, and

865
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:32,799
Speaker 1: we can work together through it.

866
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I think we just it's just life

867
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 2: in general, Like we've kind of like live and the

868
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 2: grass is greener sort of space. Grass is always greener.

869
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:46,280
Speaker 2: So it's like even just the like someone who hasn't

870
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 2: been cheated on I know, well, I mean I have been,

871
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 2: but I don't think I carry it in the same way.

872
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 2: But I always feel like they're going to find somebody better,

873
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 2: you know, like, well that was screener kind of situation,

874
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 2: that was a fear of people's Yeah, and then they'll

875
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: just move on. Something that I really admire when you

876
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:11,839
Speaker 2: see a couple that's like really they have like a

877
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 2: really strong foundation in their relationship and they can like

878
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 2: they'll be like oh that girls, you know, like they

879
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,880
Speaker 2: can right in front of their partner recognize that someone

880
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,879
Speaker 2: is hot or they'll talk about it, and it's not

881
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:28,960
Speaker 2: there's no desire in it, it's just them being them.

882
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,919
Speaker 1: I think it takes a lot of safety, yeah, within

883
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 1: the relationship and knowing that you're safe and your partner

884
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 1: doesn't actually want anyone else, Yeah, do you know what

885
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:41,359
Speaker 1: I mean. Also, there's different kinds of cheating. I mean,

886
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 1: when we talked about this, like mine was a completely

887
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 1: different scenario than being cheated on one time, right, Like,

888
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 1: it wasn't that dynamic, and it was like a complete

889
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:54,439
Speaker 1: double life, and there was multiple people, and it never

890
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:56,439
Speaker 1: I was never in a secure.

891
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 2: Situation and someone's testosterone was in a good place.

892
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 1: Someone's a lot of things where Yeah, it it definitely

893
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 1: was like a completely different dynamic. And I think a

894
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 1: lot of people I know, I've gotten messages from people

895
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 1: who've been through is similar. And it's and I'm not

896
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 1: trying to downplay if you got cheated on or there

897
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: was an affair in your relationship that that was easy

898
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 1: at all. There are different levels of it though, And

899
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: so I think when you're like completely mind fucked for

900
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 1: many years and then you realize none.

901
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 2: Of it was true, trust.

902
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:30,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, the gas lading the line to your face. That

903
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:34,360
Speaker 1: is something that is really hard to You can't just

904
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 1: like completely.

905
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 2: Forget that experience.

906
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 1: No, you don't, but you can get better. You can

907
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 1: and have a happy Yeah, definitely, you can have a happy,

908
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 1: loving relationship. I think I'm just actually more aware of

909
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 1: like what a safe relationship looks like, probably than more

910
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 1: most people. Or it's like so on my radar, like

911
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 1: that safety and trust have to be in the relationship.

912
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,760
Speaker 2: And there's probably indicator that you are going to see

913
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 2: quickly than someone who hasn't experienced it.

914
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 1: That's exactly right. When has love failed you? And what

915
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,840
Speaker 1: did that teach you? So let's kind of keep it

916
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 1: positive and focus on what did that teach you?

917
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 2: When has it failed me? Yeah? I think my first boyfriend,

918
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 2: because I don't know, Look, there were definitely positives. It

919
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,359
Speaker 2: caused me to come out to my family like like

920
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 2: that relationship like changed my life, you know, because it

921
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 2: was something that I knew that I was going to

922
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 2: have to do for a really long time, but I

923
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 2: didn't want to do it until I felt like there

924
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 2: was someone that I really cared about. Okay, And you know,

925
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 2: I think love failed me there because I didn't really

926
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 2: know what it felt like. Yeah, and I thought I

927
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 2: was in it. And I because I thought I was

928
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 2: in it, I don't think I was participating in the

929
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 2: relationship in the way that I should have, or recognizing

930
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 2: signs that it wasn't gonna work, or all the things.

931
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 2: Because when we broke up, it like blindsided me. I

932
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 2: couldn't believe it, and and you know, ultimately it is

933
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 2: what it is. Like I survived it. It was fine.

934
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 2: I moved on, but like it sort of it gave

935
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:23,600
Speaker 2: me a new foundation. Yea, So like I kind of

936
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: set me free, It's really what it did. And it

937
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 2: set me on a path to like live an out

938
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,959
Speaker 2: open life. I like came out at work. My family knew,

939
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 2: like suddenly, like the fear of coming out was like

940
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 2: diminished greatly.

941
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 1: See, this is what I was saying, Like he maybe

942
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 1: he wasn't like a soul made in the rest of

943
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 1: your life, but he has served your soul a major

944
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: purpose because it helped you live in your authentic reality.

945
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 1: That's a huge like takeaway. Yeah, totally, So, I mean

946
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 1: thanks to that guy. Yeah, until you get on these

947
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 1: test offs ramps and.

948
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 2: You're like, like why did he make me gay?

949
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 1: Okay? So I said being cheated on was the when

950
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 1: love had failed me, And I said that, or or

951
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,919
Speaker 1: in relationships where you just felt you realize that people

952
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 1: aren't who you thought they were or needed them to be,

953
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: and that's just it's really sad when you get to

954
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 1: that place, you know. And that was mixed into that

955
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 1: relationship too. But what that taught me was my own strength,

956
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:26,319
Speaker 1: Like if I survived the stuff that I survived back

957
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,239
Speaker 1: in the day, with that like it was one thing

958
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:30,760
Speaker 1: I walked away being like I am resilient as fuck,

959
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,760
Speaker 1: like there is and now that that has been true again,

960
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,880
Speaker 1: like just stuff I've faced, like I feel confident in

961
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:40,400
Speaker 1: my resilience that like I can get knocked down pretty

962
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 1: fucking hard, but I will always come back and I'll

963
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 1: come back stronger and better. And I feel like I'm

964
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:47,439
Speaker 1: like a Beyonce song right.

965
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,760
Speaker 2: Now, but like somebody signed up for a world worldwide

966
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 2: wrestling federation.

967
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 1: Have you seen me in boxing? I love no, but

968
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 1: I do feel that, like I don't. That's not to

969
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I'm just like I can come back

970
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 1: from anything. But it's just like you just learn that

971
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 1: about yourself that like you can knock me down, but

972
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,759
Speaker 1: like I will come back, and like it's just a

973
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 1: different version, and it's usually a much it's like a

974
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 1: better version of myself that I like a lot more.

975
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 1: Another thing that I learned from that was that when

976
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:24,320
Speaker 1: hardships come, they can be used to help you grow

977
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:28,479
Speaker 1: and evolve. Like there's stuff that I learned, either about

978
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 1: myself or about life about love that I just would

979
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: have never paid attention to or had any sort of

980
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 1: awareness about if I hadn't faced those challenges. And so

981
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 1: it helps me to dive so much deeper. I mean,

982
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:41,880
Speaker 1: it's probably why I'm on the path that I'm on

983
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,319
Speaker 1: now with being so curious about all this stuff I'm

984
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 1: curious about and like why people do the things they

985
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: do spirituality in general, Like it completely gave me a

986
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:54,799
Speaker 1: whole spiritual existence that I didn't have before. And then

987
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,760
Speaker 1: also I think something I've learned when love goes bad

988
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,960
Speaker 1: is that you will love again. Like I think one

989
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:03,359
Speaker 1: of the things that I thought back in the day

990
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 1: after that, because I was engaged to that guy and

991
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I can't. I don't

992
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:09,919
Speaker 1: think I'm ever going to love again, and I have

993
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 1: I mean I have twice since, and yeah, and maybe

994
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 1: they didn't work out ultimately, but they definitely served a

995
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,720
Speaker 1: major purpose in my life, all of them. And knowing

996
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 1: that my heart's capable of feeling the things that love

997
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 1: feeling again, and also like on a deeper level, because

998
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: I think that I've grown so much from that pain that,

999
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 1: like we said, like if I hadn't felt such a

1000
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 1: deep amount of pain, I don't know that I'd be

1001
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:38,759
Speaker 1: able to love as hard as I do. Like I

1002
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: think it's in my nature love, but I think like

1003
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 1: feeling so low definitely gave me the ability to feel

1004
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,319
Speaker 1: so much greater, like in a more intimate kind of

1005
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 1: love that I didn't know even existed before that. So

1006
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 1: it's good in a lot of ways. Amanda said to

1007
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,240
Speaker 1: what she learned when love went bad was to speak

1008
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,719
Speaker 1: up and when someone will never meet you needs to

1009
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 1: walk away. And after a divorce, nothing scares me, she said.

1010
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:09,760
Speaker 1: I love that Jesse said to stand up for yourself

1011
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 1: and not to settle endless summer. I see sometimes there

1012
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 1: are just these Instagram tects. You can't change someone who

1013
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 1: doesn't want to change, so love them for who they are.

1014
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:23,239
Speaker 1: That's a good one and if you can't love them

1015
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 1: for who they are, it's probably not the relationship for you.

1016
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:31,239
Speaker 1: Mary said, being cheated on taught me everything sad is

1017
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 1: for a time in your life's temporary. That's sort of

1018
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:37,839
Speaker 1: what I was saying. You will love again. This girl

1019
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,319
Speaker 1: said love fails me often because it's imperfect, but it

1020
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 1: teaches me to see past imperfection and love anyway. Any

1021
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:52,440
Speaker 1: thoughts taking it all in? This girl said this is

1022
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 1: sad to me, but she said my parents were incapable

1023
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,440
Speaker 1: of the love I needed as a child, But it

1024
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 1: taught me that I can give love to myself the

1025
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 1: love that I need, which I think that's why we're

1026
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:05,800
Speaker 1: all here anyway, because no one's going to love us perfectly, right,

1027
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 1: and so it's a lot of it's about how we

1028
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 1: love ourselves. Debbie said, not to give more than you

1029
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 1: want to and to preserve and grow yourself at the

1030
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,840
Speaker 1: same time. I think that's a huge one to keep growing.

1031
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:24,399
Speaker 1: What's the number one challenge you face in your love relationships?

1032
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 2: Chip protecting my independence? Ooh, same, Yeah. I have a

1033
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:34,759
Speaker 2: habit of like when I'm in a love relationship, of

1034
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 2: like giving myself over like completely, and then I resent

1035
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:49,279
Speaker 2: the other person because there aren't boundaries, and uh, yeah,

1036
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 2: that's what I want to I really want to avoid

1037
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 2: that in my next relationship. But I'm like, it's such

1038
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 2: an easy trap, I think to fall into because it's

1039
00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:00,839
Speaker 2: like when you're excited. When I'm excited about somebody, I

1040
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 2: like want to be with them all the time and

1041
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:07,920
Speaker 2: dive in and like make my life your life. And

1042
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 2: and I think, you know, it's really important to be

1043
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:14,359
Speaker 2: an individual in a relationship, like you have to show

1044
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:16,399
Speaker 2: up and be a part and do your part and

1045
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 2: be there, but like you have to have independence.

1046
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 1: I have a really hard time with that too. I

1047
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:25,399
Speaker 1: put that mind was not losing myself. Yeah, same thing.

1048
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 1: I mean it's hard though, because, like you said, life

1049
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 1: is so busy too, and so when you're especially if

1050
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:33,760
Speaker 1: you have kids, I think it's like you that becomes

1051
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: your priority is like the family, and so it's hard

1052
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 1: to not lose yourself and your independence amongst that person

1053
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 1: and then the children or even just that person in Joe,

1054
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 1: I've done it without kids too, but it's yeah, it's

1055
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 1: really hard. A lot of people said that not losing

1056
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 1: myself communication that was a huge one. That was like

1057
00:50:56,520 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 1: the big challenge that is that's the hardest between two people.

1058
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 1: I think in general, it's really hard. I think that's

1059
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 1: when a relationship doesn't work. There like if you can't communicate,

1060
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:07,719
Speaker 1: then like what is there?

1061
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,560
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny. I think the breakdown and communication

1062
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 2: often comes with people not wanting to fight, like I

1063
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:17,440
Speaker 2: don't want to make their feelings. I don't want to

1064
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 2: hurt their feelings. I don't want this to turn into

1065
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 2: a fight. But you know what, fighting is actually healthy

1066
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:26,360
Speaker 2: and also healthy fighting like yeah, but I don't mean punching,

1067
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 2: I mean arguing.

1068
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. I find that if you communicate about something, it

1069
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 1: doesn't turn into a fight. Actually it's It might be hard,

1070
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: and it might be a hard conversation, but then it

1071
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:39,919
Speaker 1: can be over right. When you don't communicate, it just

1072
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 1: builds and builds and builds, and then it last and

1073
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:45,239
Speaker 1: last and last, and it's resentment is.

1074
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:48,400
Speaker 2: A form of communicating, though it's an aggressive form of it.

1075
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:51,400
Speaker 1: There's a healthy fighting totally. I mean, I think if

1076
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:56,720
Speaker 1: you can disagree, like understand, there's two perspectives, talk through

1077
00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:59,439
Speaker 1: something and respect the other person, like have a quote

1078
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 1: unquote health healthy fight. I don't know to me. It's

1079
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,319
Speaker 1: just like you got to just talk about it and

1080
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,279
Speaker 1: then you got to just move on. But if you

1081
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,000
Speaker 1: can't talk about it, you really can't move on, right,

1082
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 1: That's a problem, Hannah said, trusting myself after not seeing

1083
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 1: red flags before. That's a tough one. I've dealt with

1084
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 1: that too, when you or when you see them and

1085
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 1: you ignore them and then you stay way longer and

1086
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 1: you're like, damn it, I saw all this.

1087
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 2: How about when say, it's like when your friend is

1088
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:29,680
Speaker 2: dating somebody and you see the red flags? When is

1089
00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:32,000
Speaker 2: it okay for you to say something?

1090
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. I know, it's like, it's such such

1091
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 1: a weird position because there's so many situations where I've

1092
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:41,839
Speaker 1: heard of that happening and the friend just gets mad

1093
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 1: at you. I think you have to wait till they

1094
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:44,319
Speaker 1: bring it up.

1095
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I had a I mean, this is obviously

1096
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:50,920
Speaker 2: it involves high school, so it's we weren't mature enough

1097
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 2: to really understand the situation. But one of like the

1098
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 2: people in our friends group was being cheated on and

1099
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,440
Speaker 2: we all knew it, oh well, that you have to,

1100
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:01,360
Speaker 2: and but we also knew that she wouldn't. And it

1101
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 2: was one of those things where it's like that came

1102
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:07,840
Speaker 2: true and it almost ended a friendship until she finally

1103
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 2: learned the truth. But yeah, I mean it was like

1104
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 2: those sorts of things. It's like that was scarring, like

1105
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:19,200
Speaker 2: out of their business.

1106
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 1: No, I always tell all my friends. I'm like, if

1107
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 1: you know something like that, you better tell them. But

1108
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:26,759
Speaker 1: I guess some of um wouldn't want to know that.

1109
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,359
Speaker 1: One's tough though cheating. To me, that feels differently if.

1110
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,200
Speaker 2: There's better fucking know that it's fact if you're going

1111
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:31,759
Speaker 2: to tell something.

1112
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:35,919
Speaker 1: Oh, I agree with that. Yeah, Becca said, I've never

1113
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 1: had a relationship where I didn't lose myself. I give

1114
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 1: everything to please them. Like we said, intimacy was one

1115
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 1: of the main ones we got back, uh, which is interesting,

1116
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:48,719
Speaker 1: Like I think a lot of people, I think as

1117
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 1: humans were wired for connection and so we want love,

1118
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:54,719
Speaker 1: but a lot of people truly fear intimacy. And so

1119
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,760
Speaker 1: you get in the relationship and you put your walls

1120
00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:59,279
Speaker 1: up and you're just like, I want this, But then

1121
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 1: we do the cell sabotaging stuff or whatever the wall

1122
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:07,719
Speaker 1: is because we're actually truly, like so scared of the

1123
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 1: thought of being fully seen.

1124
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:12,840
Speaker 2: It's scary it's incredibly terrifying.

1125
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:17,279
Speaker 1: Trust. That was a big one, a big challenge, a

1126
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 1: lot of that. I mean, I definitely think there has

1127
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 1: to be safety in the relationship, and I think it's

1128
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:25,760
Speaker 1: about finding a partner that you can communicate with, and

1129
00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:28,879
Speaker 1: then it's about like if you trust For me, at least,

1130
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 1: it's been like, if I'm trusting myself, then I know

1131
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 1: what to do about the relationship. But it takes a

1132
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:38,880
Speaker 1: lot for me to trust myself fully because I have

1133
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 1: all these voices in my head that I'll be like, oh,

1134
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 1: is this from the past? Are you bringing your old

1135
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 1: baggage in? Or like does this truly just not work

1136
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 1: for you in this capacity? So does that make sense?

1137
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think too. It's like it's really easy to

1138
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:55,840
Speaker 2: blame yourself for the things that have happened in the past,

1139
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:59,160
Speaker 2: and that makes it really difficult to trust yourself, right,

1140
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, when in fact, like being cheated on

1141
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 2: often doesn't have anything to do Oh didn't in your case,

1142
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 2: it didn't have anything to do with Yeah. I mean

1143
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:14,120
Speaker 2: sometimes I think there are there are surely cases where

1144
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 2: it has something to do with the person, But in

1145
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 2: your case, it didn't.

1146
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:22,919
Speaker 1: So this girl said not letting my hyper independence put

1147
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:26,839
Speaker 1: up walls to love. That's a hard one, Yeah, Brittany said,

1148
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:29,759
Speaker 1: I'm independent out of fear. I don't need anyone attitude.

1149
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,880
Speaker 1: I'm hard to love in that way. Do you feel

1150
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:32,719
Speaker 1: do you relate to that?

1151
00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:38,879
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean I I appreciate my independence a lot.

1152
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm forty six years old, I live alone,

1153
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 2: I've got great friendships, I kind of go and do.

1154
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:46,720
Speaker 2: I don't have any children, I don't have two dogs.

1155
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:51,319
Speaker 2: It's easy to hire a dog walker, right, So I

1156
00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 2: love my independence. I love that, like I can just

1157
00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:55,440
Speaker 2: kind of pick up and go and be wherever I

1158
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,920
Speaker 2: need to be, and I don't have to answer to anybody. Yeah,

1159
00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:03,480
Speaker 2: So that's difficult because the opposite of that is not

1160
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 2: being able to go and do all the things that

1161
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:08,400
Speaker 2: I've loved doing. But I think I'm also at a

1162
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:13,400
Speaker 2: age where it's like settling down is not as scary anymore,

1163
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 2: you know, Like I don't want to be out and

1164
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,880
Speaker 2: about all the time, and it would be nice to

1165
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 2: like have a romantic getaway and do some traveling with

1166
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:25,200
Speaker 2: somebody in that way. Yeah, but yeah, I mean I

1167
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:26,200
Speaker 2: definitely struggle with that.

1168
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, A lot of women wrote in and said insecurity

1169
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:33,439
Speaker 1: was the biggest challenge they face. That made me think about,

1170
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:35,560
Speaker 1: you know, I do this work with that guy, Jake Woodard.

1171
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,040
Speaker 1: I went to that conference, and he's been on the

1172
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:40,160
Speaker 1: podcast a bunch. He always says, if you're in a

1173
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:43,840
Speaker 1: relationship with a masculine man and he kind of operates like,

1174
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,960
Speaker 1: picture a stool, and if the stool is like wobbly,

1175
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 1: like if he's inconsistent, or he's kind of flighty, or

1176
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 1: you can't trust him because you know he's shown you

1177
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:57,440
Speaker 1: in the past that like he's not reliable, then why

1178
00:56:57,480 --> 00:56:59,799
Speaker 1: would you go stand on top of that stool? Like

1179
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 1: we're supposed to be able as the feminine energy to

1180
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:06,840
Speaker 1: bring our energy in in this creative flowing capacity, but

1181
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,680
Speaker 1: we need a sturdy foundation to stand on. And so

1182
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 1: if you're feeling insecure in a relationship, I wonder sometimes

1183
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 1: what kind of foundation is your partner providing for you,

1184
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 1: because as the masculine, that is the energy that they

1185
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 1: lead with. But I know I've been in relationships before

1186
00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:25,440
Speaker 1: where it's like, for whatever reason, if it was like

1187
00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:29,840
Speaker 1: emotional immaturity, or if the guy just wasn't there, like

1188
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 1: the wobbly feeling it makes me a crazy person. And

1189
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,040
Speaker 1: I because if I feel insecure, it's like, you do

1190
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:38,360
Speaker 1: everything you can to try to get secure in the

1191
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 1: relationship and make them the man you need them to

1192
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,360
Speaker 1: be or whatever it is, and it does it makes

1193
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:46,360
Speaker 1: you crazy. And that's when you have to trust yourself.

1194
00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:48,840
Speaker 1: It goes back to that to know, Okay, this isn't

1195
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 1: a situation that serves me. It all works together.

1196
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 2: It really does, really does.

1197
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 1: Let's talk about Valentine's Day really quick, because I know

1198
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:57,080
Speaker 1: we need to go. Let's leave almost.

1199
00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,080
Speaker 2: Leaving a good note on a way.

1200
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:01,000
Speaker 1: I feel like this always. It's like when the edge

1201
00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 1: is like a little bit like want want, I'm like,

1202
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:06,040
Speaker 1: I feel guilty about it a little bit. Just a

1203
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:11,200
Speaker 1: little email today, guys. You know part of the process life.

1204
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:16,040
Speaker 1: Do you do you like Valentine's Day? I asked the

1205
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:18,160
Speaker 1: question what do you think about Valentine's Day? And the

1206
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:20,240
Speaker 1: majority of the answer we're like, this is a bullshit

1207
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:23,520
Speaker 1: holiday that's for commercial reasons only. It's like America's way

1208
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:25,160
Speaker 1: to make more money. You know. It's like that.

1209
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 2: I mean, it's not untrue, like, yeah, it's a I

1210
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:30,120
Speaker 2: call it a Hallmark holiday.

1211
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 1: I know it is that am I the only cheesy one.

1212
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:35,240
Speaker 1: I just think it's like, why not embrace a time

1213
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 1: to celebrate the people you love, as long.

1214
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:39,800
Speaker 2: As it's not the only time you do that. Oh

1215
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:43,240
Speaker 2: I I think a lot of people uses an excuse

1216
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 2: to like, you know, check a box for a year, and.

1217
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:49,720
Speaker 1: It's well, that's bullshit, you know.

1218
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:52,480
Speaker 2: I think we should be letting the people we love

1219
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:56,920
Speaker 2: know that we love them all the time, right, and

1220
00:58:57,200 --> 00:59:00,120
Speaker 2: we shouldn't be bowing to corporate America, to Bible to

1221
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 2: candies and Teddy Bears and flowers and shit like that.

1222
00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 2: On a specific day, I did a little research and

1223
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:08,680
Speaker 2: just to see I was like, where did it even

1224
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:13,680
Speaker 2: come from? So, you know, I did super academic research

1225
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:20,600
Speaker 2: on Wikipedia dot com and dude, it has been It's

1226
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:24,800
Speaker 2: it's the Feast of Saint Valentine's, which he was a

1227
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:29,040
Speaker 2: He was a mart a Christian martyr, and he died.

1228
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 2: He was martyred in two sixty nine eighty, which is

1229
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:37,520
Speaker 2: weird to like read it. It's only like three numbers long.

1230
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,080
Speaker 2: And then in four ninety six eighty they started the

1231
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:46,640
Speaker 2: fest the Feast of Saint Valentine's, okay, to celebrate him,

1232
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:51,959
Speaker 2: and it has it's just sort of taken on. There's

1233
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:55,400
Speaker 2: like people go to there's all of his there's a

1234
00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 2: lot of things of his, including like his skull and

1235
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:03,000
Speaker 2: his crown of flowers. They are across churches in Rome,

1236
01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:08,000
Speaker 2: and people make pilgrimage to like go like seek love

1237
01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 2: at the altar of some of this stuff. So it's

1238
01:00:11,920 --> 01:00:14,439
Speaker 2: been going on since four hundred and ninety six.

1239
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:19,040
Speaker 1: A d wow. So that's the history. That's your history.

1240
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:24,400
Speaker 1: Lesson folks for the day from Chip Doors Chip. I

1241
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:27,760
Speaker 1: think personally it's sort of like that thing where it's

1242
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:30,680
Speaker 1: like you put an intention behind something, and of course

1243
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 1: I don't think this should be the only day, but

1244
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:35,880
Speaker 1: like why not take the time to have a celebration,

1245
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 1: and if you're not in a relationship, Like I mean

1246
01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:40,000
Speaker 1: this is coming from the single girl over here, but

1247
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:42,600
Speaker 1: it's like I'm going to see du Alipo with a

1248
01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:45,800
Speaker 1: bunch of my girlfriends, a bunch of my girlfriends and

1249
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 1: hip and I think we're going separately, but we.

1250
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:49,760
Speaker 2: See each other.

1251
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:53,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's just like okay, fine, like let's make

1252
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:55,400
Speaker 1: a fun plan. Like I just love any excuse to

1253
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:58,280
Speaker 1: make a fun plan. And so if that happens to

1254
01:00:58,320 --> 01:00:59,080
Speaker 1: be a holiday.

1255
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:02,720
Speaker 2: Fine, but are you mad if, like your significant other

1256
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 2: doesn't get you a present on value?

1257
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:06,919
Speaker 1: Well, I actually just appreciate a card like I would.

1258
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:08,960
Speaker 1: I prefer it to be. I'm such a words of

1259
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 1: affirmation person that as long as you know, like or

1260
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:15,240
Speaker 1: I would rather you write me a card that talks

1261
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:18,880
Speaker 1: about the real shit or the love you feel, or

1262
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 1: the look back on our year from the last year,

1263
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:25,920
Speaker 1: you know, just like something sentimental on February of course,

1264
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:29,440
Speaker 1: but like most people don't. And so if it's like

1265
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:32,720
Speaker 1: this excuse to do that, then great.

1266
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:35,240
Speaker 2: Right do I don't want someone to have an excuse

1267
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 2: to do it. I want someone to want to.

1268
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:38,960
Speaker 1: Do it, of course. I just think I look at

1269
01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:41,400
Speaker 1: it more as the reminder of, Oh, let me think

1270
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:43,920
Speaker 1: about all the love in my life and appreciate that

1271
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:47,040
Speaker 1: today and be really grateful for it and show my

1272
01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:48,479
Speaker 1: gratitude to the people that.

1273
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:51,480
Speaker 2: I love that show some gratitude to.

1274
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 1: I am going. Yeah, I've been listening to her music

1275
01:01:57,600 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 1: for like a week because I've needed dance parties to give.

1276
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 2: To repeat the first record on repeat.

1277
01:02:01,840 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 1: Same. Okay, here's the question, though, do you listen to

1278
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:05,520
Speaker 1: the one with Debaby or not?

1279
01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:06,560
Speaker 2: No? I don't.

1280
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:11,320
Speaker 1: I hate that he said the things you said because

1281
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:13,040
Speaker 1: I just love that version so much more.

1282
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:15,360
Speaker 2: But I mean the original version is amazing too.

1283
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:18,680
Speaker 1: It is. It's a I just the cancel culture I hate,

1284
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:20,080
Speaker 1: you know, And I'm just like, can you just not

1285
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:22,240
Speaker 1: come back and apologize and like learn.

1286
01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 2: The thing you didn't? Really?

1287
01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the problem.

1288
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:28,680
Speaker 2: I just apologize your mistakes. God, yeah, dumb thing.

1289
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:32,200
Speaker 1: Do you think it's cheesy to have sex on Valentine's Day?

1290
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:32,400
Speaker 1: That was?

1291
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,320
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny. I mean I think that plays

1292
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:39,280
Speaker 2: into the whole last question. Okay, I think yes, Like

1293
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:44,920
Speaker 2: it's like saving yourself for prom, Like there's nothing special

1294
01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:49,640
Speaker 2: about that day in particular. True, so why like why

1295
01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 2: put a weird marker on it? Like have sex when

1296
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:52,400
Speaker 2: you want to?

1297
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:53,960
Speaker 1: That's what a lot of people write it, and we're

1298
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:56,600
Speaker 1: like it just feels so forced. It's sort of like

1299
01:02:56,680 --> 01:03:00,920
Speaker 1: scheduled sex though again where I'm like the advocate of, like, Okay,

1300
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,800
Speaker 1: well you have an excuse to make for a sexy night,

1301
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 1: why not do it?

1302
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:06,640
Speaker 2: Well, if it falls on your scheduled night, then so

1303
01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 2: oh my god. I mean I guess, Look, if you're

1304
01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:12,160
Speaker 2: in a relationship where you're having to schedule things by

1305
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:14,440
Speaker 2: all means have sex on Valentine's Day because it means

1306
01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:15,840
Speaker 2: you might be getting extra night of booty.

1307
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 1: But what if your partner like draws you a bath,

1308
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:23,600
Speaker 1: then like makes it special? It doesn't. But do most

1309
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:25,600
Speaker 1: people do that on a fucking Tuesday?

1310
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:26,000
Speaker 2: I don't.

1311
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:29,920
Speaker 1: No, they should, they should, but they we don't. We

1312
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:33,000
Speaker 1: get busy in our lives. So I just say, take

1313
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:36,480
Speaker 1: the like extra special celebration time and use it.

1314
01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:39,840
Speaker 2: Well. I think we should take the sentiment of Valentine's

1315
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:43,080
Speaker 2: Day and try to inject it into more days of

1316
01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:43,440
Speaker 2: the year.

1317
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:46,880
Speaker 1: Okay, fine. Someone wrote in and asked, is Chip going

1318
01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:48,520
Speaker 1: to have sex on Valentine's Day?

1319
01:03:49,240 --> 01:03:52,400
Speaker 2: I hope maybe somebody at Dua Lipa think you will.

1320
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:55,520
Speaker 2: I don't know. There's definitely an be gay boys there

1321
01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 2: and maybe some women.

1322
01:03:58,240 --> 01:03:59,720
Speaker 1: Or where are we going after? For you though?

1323
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 2: That's funny, We're going. One of the people that I'm

1324
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:04,320
Speaker 2: going with is our friend Courtney is British, and I like,

1325
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:07,160
Speaker 2: in my mind when she says that she says door leaper, she.

1326
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:12,480
Speaker 1: Does she has ours. Yeah McIntyre, she calls Reaber door leaper,

1327
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:17,360
Speaker 1: door leaper. That doesn't sound that doesn't sound very sexy, though,

1328
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:19,480
Speaker 1: I don't think that's what you lead with whoever it

1329
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:20,600
Speaker 1: is you're taking home that night.

1330
01:04:20,720 --> 01:04:22,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, do you love door leaper?

1331
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:23,600
Speaker 1: Like?

1332
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:24,000
Speaker 2: What?

1333
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:27,920
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Well, I hope you guys maybe listen

1334
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 1: to this and it makes some fun plans for Valentine,

1335
01:04:30,040 --> 01:04:33,440
Speaker 1: whether it's with your girls, your gaze, your guy, whatever

1336
01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:36,920
Speaker 1: it is you're yeah, yourself. I mean, maybe it's like

1337
01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:40,000
Speaker 1: a self care thing. You set up a nice little

1338
01:04:40,080 --> 01:04:42,360
Speaker 1: yeah get them sage, set up a nice bass situation

1339
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:43,600
Speaker 1: for yourself.

1340
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:46,440
Speaker 2: Draw, bath, masturbate, be could.

1341
01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:49,440
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just don't think it has to

1342
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:51,120
Speaker 1: be cheesy. I think it's all about the intention you

1343
01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:54,400
Speaker 1: put behind it. So anyway, sorry for the email is today, y'all.

1344
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:58,440
Speaker 1: Just I'm having a day and it looks see I'm

1345
01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:01,320
Speaker 1: telling you, it passes like. I'm feeling much better now.

1346
01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:04,240
Speaker 1: We kind of talked about it, thanks to Absorbed all

1347
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:10,480
Speaker 1: your positive energy and lack of testosterone. Well, this concludes

1348
01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 1: all of the questions. Next time or next month, we'll

1349
01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:15,120
Speaker 1: have the same thing where I'll ask you guys some

1350
01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:17,360
Speaker 1: questions on Instagram, but you can always email us as well.

1351
01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 1: At the edge at velvet edge dot com. We will

1352
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 1: at the end of the month still have the listener

1353
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:26,440
Speaker 1: emails podcast. I couldn't think of that word while brings

1354
01:05:26,720 --> 01:05:29,360
Speaker 1: episode coming. So whatever's coming up for you this month?

1355
01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:31,520
Speaker 1: If we're saying something that is like, you're like, what

1356
01:05:31,680 --> 01:05:34,200
Speaker 1: if you want to write in about adult breastfeeding, you know,

1357
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:36,000
Speaker 1: any of the stuff we've talked about so far. I

1358
01:05:36,080 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 1: still feel shocked about that whole podcast. I don't really

1359
01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:39,520
Speaker 1: know how I feel about it.

1360
01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:42,040
Speaker 2: I might have seen the video that she referenced. What

1361
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:44,080
Speaker 2: video the one of you drinking breast milk?

1362
01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:47,000
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah, my friend found that video when

1363
01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:48,600
Speaker 1: I and she actually out to rest.

1364
01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:49,520
Speaker 2: I don't think.

1365
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:53,000
Speaker 1: Recollection was I go, it's like milk. No, it was

1366
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:53,439
Speaker 1: the app.

1367
01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:55,720
Speaker 2: Now your friend goes it tastes like milk, and you're like,

1368
01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:58,640
Speaker 2: whole milk, whole milk, which I'm very free.

1369
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:02,520
Speaker 1: So it was very shocking. Yeah, but anyway, you guys

1370
01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:04,800
Speaker 1: keep the emails coming to d Edge at velvet sedge

1371
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:06,640
Speaker 1: dot com. You can always hit me up on Instagram

1372
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:07,920
Speaker 1: at velvet edge Chip.

1373
01:06:08,520 --> 01:06:12,840
Speaker 2: I'm on Instagram at Chipdorschappy d O R s C.

1374
01:06:13,360 --> 01:06:15,400
Speaker 1: I love that you paused as if you're getting out

1375
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:17,360
Speaker 1: of saying that now, like that's just a thing.

1376
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:18,800
Speaker 2: She threw a look at me like.

1377
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:24,360
Speaker 1: I was like hello, silent pause. Anyway, as you guys

1378
01:06:24,400 --> 01:06:27,840
Speaker 1: go into this weekend and leading up to Valentine's Day,

1379
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:30,680
Speaker 1: it's Monday, it's the big day. I hope you make

1380
01:06:30,760 --> 01:06:34,680
Speaker 1: some special plans with a special someone or yourself, and

1381
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:40,120
Speaker 1: I hope that you continue to always live on the edge.

1382
01:06:42,400 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 2: Casual was a little close. Oka all right.

1383
01:06:46,200 --> 01:06:47,479
Speaker 1: Happy Valentine's Day, y'all.

1384
01:06:47,720 --> 01:06:48,240
Speaker 2: Bye bye,