1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. Wherever 6 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: you are in the world, it is so great to 7 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: have you here. Back for another episode. Thank you for 8 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:41,479 Speaker 1: tuning in. Today we're going to talk about consistency. A 9 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: big question I get is how to build consistency in 10 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 1: our twenties. I think during this decade we all have 11 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 1: a lot of really huge visions and ambitions and ideas 12 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: about our life. It's also the time when we are 13 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,960 Speaker 1: having to achieve certain goals and milestones, such as graduating UNI, 14 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 1: or pursuing our career, or being entrepreneurial, and all of 15 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: that comes with a level of consistency that is important 16 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: for our success. But the truth is that none of 17 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 1: our visions, none of our ideas about our life, are 18 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:25,759 Speaker 1: going to come true if we are not consistent and disciplined. 19 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: We often engage in a lot of fantasy thinking myself included, 20 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 1: but a lot of us then struggle with the follow through. 21 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 1: We struggle with procrastination, we struggle with motivation. It's only 22 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:46,759 Speaker 1: natural to feel distracted or to lack motivation. However, when 23 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: motivation fails, consistency and habits will sustain us. They will 24 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: step in and keep us on track. There are safety 25 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: net if we take the time to build them and 26 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 1: work on creating sustainable habits towards our goals. There is 27 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 1: a quote I repeat all the time that relates to this, 28 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 1: which is that the secret to success is consistency. And 29 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:19,800 Speaker 1: that really applies to anything. It applies to our careers, 30 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 1: it applies to academia and studying, It applies to our 31 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: side hustles, but also to things like our relationships and 32 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 1: personal goals around things like fitness or our ambitions in 33 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 1: really any area. So today we're going to dive into 34 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 1: the psychology behind motivation and staying consistent. What is the 35 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 1: secret ingredient and the science behind consistency? How can we 36 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:53,520 Speaker 1: build long term habits? Why do we sometimes struggle with 37 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: motivation and procrastination or worst of all, all or nothing thinking, 38 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: especially in our twenties. And I guess finally, how can 39 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 1: we use consistency and how can we harness consistency to 40 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 1: prevent burnout and stay focused whilst still enjoying our lives. 41 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 1: We have a lot of goals, right, A lot of 42 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: us want to achieve big things or even small things. 43 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: Every one of us, I think, even as humans, we 44 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,799 Speaker 1: all have something that we want to do to make 45 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: our lives better. But sometimes that can consume us, and 46 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 1: particularly in our twenties, we are meant to have fun. 47 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: This is a decade that we are meant to enjoy 48 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: and we want to be balanced. So how can we 49 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: utilize the psychological concepts behind consistency to ensure our cups 50 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: are full whilst we are still striving towards our goals. 51 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: This is the episode to get motivated, This is the 52 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: episode to sustain us, to build those habits, to build 53 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: our consistency. So if there's something a goal you have 54 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 1: in mind and you're ready to achieve it, you're ready 55 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 1: to get there. Let's get into how we can do 56 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: that and how we can stay consistent. As always, let's 57 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 1: start with the basics. Let's start at the very beginning 58 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 1: with the building blocks. So what exactly is consistency. So 59 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 1: consistency as it relates to human behavior refers to behaving 60 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:31,479 Speaker 1: in the same dependable way. It's an adjective that we 61 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: can use to describe someone. We can call someone consistent, 62 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 1: but it's also a verb because consistency requires action, and 63 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: it can be really hard to master, because I think 64 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:48,040 Speaker 1: our world has become full of distractions, and sometimes our 65 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,840 Speaker 1: goals as well can be really ambiguous, and finding a 66 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 1: path forward is quite hard. I think about that in 67 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 1: terms of my own experience with this show. You know, 68 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: when I first started, I didn't really have the biggest 69 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,039 Speaker 1: ambitions for it. It was just kind of something that 70 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: I found fun. But the further I got into it, 71 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,920 Speaker 1: the further I fell in love with it. Suddenly it 72 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 1: became more than just a passion, and it became an ambition, 73 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 1: and I became a lot more goal directed. But it 74 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:20,039 Speaker 1: was hard to kind of understand how I could be 75 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,920 Speaker 1: consistent in it and how I could sustain this behavior 76 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 1: and sustain my passion and my motivation for it. And 77 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: what I found was that breaking things down and creating 78 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: sustainable habits was the easiest way to still have fun 79 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 1: doing it, but also kind of get shit done. If 80 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 1: you want anything in life, the truth is that you 81 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:46,040 Speaker 1: do have to be consistent you have to be aligned 82 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 1: to your purpose in a manner that is steadfast and focused. 83 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: That doesn't mean having every hour of your day planned 84 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,719 Speaker 1: out or needing to be robotic, absolutely not. I think 85 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: it's more about incremental daily behaviors from which we can 86 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: achieve our goals. Everyone listening to this has a goal 87 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: in mind. I want you to sit back and reflect 88 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 1: on what that is. We all have something we're striving towards. 89 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: It's very natural and only natural, I think, as humans 90 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 1: to want to be better, and that doesn't have to 91 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:28,599 Speaker 1: be something large and intense, like being a millionaire or 92 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 1: owning a Lamborghini or becoming president. It can be something 93 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: as simple as drinking more water or doing your dishes 94 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 1: every day. Goals are so subjective, but I think the 95 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 1: formula to achieving them is very much the same. From 96 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:50,360 Speaker 1: a psychological perspective. Struggling with consistency is a universal experience. 97 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,360 Speaker 1: So much can get in our way and can jeopardize 98 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: our goals. There are things like distructions. I think, especially 99 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,040 Speaker 1: our phones captivates so much much more of our attention 100 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:04,919 Speaker 1: these days. There is procrastination, which we know is linked 101 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: with perfectionism and an inability to start a task or 102 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: concern about an outcome that means we can't even begin, 103 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: And then there's also a lack of motivation. Motivation is 104 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: very fickle, and there's a lot of science that explains 105 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: why that is the case. Our brains have limited time 106 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: and limited resources. Essentially, at the end of the day, 107 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: when you think about your brain and your mind, it 108 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 1: really can only hold so much information, and when we 109 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: are incredibly focused on a goal, that is going to 110 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: take up a lot more brain space than the rest 111 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 1: of the things that we have going on in our lives. However, 112 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 1: those things are still important. So I think about this 113 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,360 Speaker 1: in terms of studying for your final exams. That is 114 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 1: a massive goal for a lot of us that we 115 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 1: want to do well academically, and when we're so focused 116 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 1: on that, that takes up like fifty percent of our 117 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,680 Speaker 1: brain capacity, spending time at the library, staying up to 118 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: date with coursework, going through the motions. But that motivation 119 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: can be hard to sustain because other things are going 120 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: to come up and take up more space. Say a 121 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 1: member of your family gets sick, or you need to work, 122 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: you're struggling financially. That is going to come in and 123 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 1: carve out the mental space that we had devoted to 124 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: our goal so that we can repurpose it and devote 125 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,600 Speaker 1: it to the other things that are important to us. 126 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 1: So that is why I think motivation can sometimes be 127 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,200 Speaker 1: very hard to get a handle on. And in those 128 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: situations in which you have a lot going on, in 129 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 1: which there are so many things demanding your attention such 130 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 1: that your motivation can fail you, consistency and positive habits 131 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 1: are what's going to sustain you. And I think a 132 00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,319 Speaker 1: lot of us are looking for a cheat sheet or 133 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 1: a shortcut to our ambitions. But the secret ingredient is 134 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 1: actually not that secret. It's hard work and it's consistency. 135 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 1: And when we employ certain habits and methods, that hard 136 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 1: work doesn't need to feel so burdensome. So I want 137 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: to focus on five key pieces of advice around building 138 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: consistency that I use on an almost daily basis, and 139 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 1: whatever goal you have in mind, I promise one, if 140 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 1: not all, of these things is going to help you. 141 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: The first one is microhabits. Microhabits are so valuable in 142 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: everyone's life. Essentially what they are, and as the name suggests, 143 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 1: they are small, daily things that are almost negligible that 144 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:55,600 Speaker 1: build to bigger, deeper, sustained life changing habits. The term micro, 145 00:09:55,840 --> 00:10:00,040 Speaker 1: meaning small, is the crucial component of this idea, and 146 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,599 Speaker 1: essentially the idea goes that if you start small and 147 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: build up to those bigger, larger goals, you are going 148 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,320 Speaker 1: to ensure long term success. You are going to retain 149 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: those behaviors, but you're also going to prevent burnout, and 150 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:22,959 Speaker 1: they're really easy to integrate. So a microhabit around getting healthier, 151 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:27,000 Speaker 1: around treating your body better might be something like I 152 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 1: want to have a glass of water the moment that 153 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: I wake up in the morning because I'm worried about 154 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: my hydration, or at least once a day, I want 155 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 1: to eat a piece of fruit, Or I just want 156 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 1: to walk to the train station every morning rather than 157 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: getting an uber, or I want to walk to work 158 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 1: rather than getting the train. These habits are things that 159 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: are not going to interrupt our life to the point 160 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: that they cause us discomfort or to the point where 161 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: they force us to change things rapidly. I think when 162 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: we go after a goal, our tendency is to start 163 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,079 Speaker 1: really big. Say, for example, you want to run, you 164 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: want to run a marathon. Often what we do is 165 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 1: we go out and we try and run as fast 166 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 1: and as hard and as long as we possibly can. 167 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 1: We start off day one with like a ten k, 168 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 1: and then the next day we are exhausted and we're 169 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,719 Speaker 1: so tired, and we give up because it's painful. But 170 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,839 Speaker 1: the idea behind micro habits is that you can get 171 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,960 Speaker 1: to that goal. Perhaps it's going to take you longer 172 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: than if you went all out, but it will be 173 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: more sustainable if you slowly build up based on these 174 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:43,439 Speaker 1: daily micro behaviors and actions that you can take. The 175 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 1: next tip and the next kind of piece of advice 176 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 1: I have to give is around short term versus long 177 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 1: term goals. You need a mix of both. Like I 178 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,439 Speaker 1: said before, when we set out to achieve something, we 179 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,199 Speaker 1: often only ever think about the end goal or the 180 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 1: finish line, and that can be incredibly dangerous. I'm sure 181 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,559 Speaker 1: you've heard this before, but all good things in life 182 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 1: should be approached as a marathon, not a sprint, because 183 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 1: life is not all about the huge successes, the massive celebrations, 184 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:24,640 Speaker 1: and the huge rushes of dopamine that they bring us. 185 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 1: And if we solely rely on reaching our big goals 186 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:32,959 Speaker 1: and our massive ambitions as our source of motivation, not 187 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 1: only are we going to lose that consistency, not only 188 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,679 Speaker 1: are we going to lose motivation, but will probably be 189 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:46,199 Speaker 1: seriously disappointed. So the secret to building consistency in this 190 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 1: domain is to utilize the power of incremental short term goals, 191 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 1: delayed gratification, and delayed reinforcement. We are used to receiving 192 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,200 Speaker 1: instant gratification from a lot of things in our life, 193 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 1: and when I talk about instant gratification, what I mean 194 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 1: is a very immediate dopamine hit. The example I give 195 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 1: is social media. When you turn on your phone, you 196 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 1: can immediately go on to Instagram and go on to TikTok, 197 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 1: and you will receive pleasant feelings from that. It will 198 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 1: give you dopamine because it is making you, It is 199 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 1: entertaining you essentially, and it is giving you something to 200 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:30,319 Speaker 1: look at and it's fun and it's enjoyable, and so 201 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 1: you get your fix almost immediately. But what this has 202 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:38,679 Speaker 1: done to our brains is seriously disrupt our systems with 203 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 1: the distribution and release of dopamine. In the past, from 204 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 1: an evolutionary standpoint, our brains were not used to receiving 205 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 1: dopamine that quickly and that immediately, and without such little effort, 206 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,760 Speaker 1: and now we become so used to getting that hit 207 00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: instantly that when things require consistence, and when things are 208 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: requiring long term motivation and you may not receive that 209 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,679 Speaker 1: dopamine for some time, it becomes a lot harder for 210 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,439 Speaker 1: us to sustain the behaviors that will contribute to that 211 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,559 Speaker 1: and long term goals. Any long term goal that you 212 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:21,720 Speaker 1: have in mind, it will require delayed gratification. And what 213 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 1: this refers to is the ability to delay an impulse 214 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,240 Speaker 1: for an immediate reward, such as going on your phone, 215 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 1: to receive a more favorable reward later on. So if 216 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: you're trying to finish an essay, you could go on 217 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,840 Speaker 1: your phone every five minutes and get a little dopamine hit. 218 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 1: But what that's going to mean is that your essay 219 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,640 Speaker 1: is probably going to take a lot longer, and therefore 220 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 1: the kind of enjoyment you get from finishing it is 221 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 1: going to not be as fun because it's going to 222 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 1: have taken up more of your time and more of 223 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 1: your effort. But if you delayed those immediate hits of 224 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 1: dopamine from allowing yourself to be distracted or to go online, 225 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 1: the gratification you're going to get when you complete the 226 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 1: essay sooner, when its better quality is going to be 227 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 1: much more profound. Psychologists discovered this idea of delayed gratification 228 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 1: in something known as the marshmallow experiment. So essentially, in 229 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,720 Speaker 1: this experiment, they put participants in the room. The first 230 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: round of this experiment was actually done with children. So 231 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: they put these children in a room and in front 232 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 1: of them, they put a marshmallow and they said to them, 233 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,960 Speaker 1: please do not eat this marshmallow. I'm going to leave 234 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 1: the room. If you do not eat this marshmallow. Whilst 235 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: i'm away, I'll give you two marshmallows. And then they 236 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 1: would leave the room and they would see what the 237 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 1: children would do. And what they found was that a 238 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,440 Speaker 1: lot of the children would just eat the marshmallow. It 239 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 1: didn't matter that if they waited and they held off 240 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 1: on that immediate impulse, they would get two marshmallows, which 241 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: is more favorable than one. They could not delay that gratification, 242 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 1: And this experiment showed how delayed gratification grows over time 243 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,800 Speaker 1: and is often not fully developed in children. But it 244 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: also has been adapted to show how us this generation 245 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 1: humans nowadays are also a lot worse at this experiment. 246 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:23,240 Speaker 1: Now a lot of us are really struggling to delay gratification. 247 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,560 Speaker 1: We want to eat the marshmallow. We don't want to 248 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: wait for the bigger payoff. We want to feel that 249 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 1: dopamine hit. We want to enjoy our rewards straight away. 250 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: So the reality is though, that we do need delayed 251 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 1: gratification to sustain us. There are going to be times 252 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 1: in your life where you're not going to get the 253 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 1: outputs and you're not going to get the reward immediately. 254 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,920 Speaker 1: So we need to compromise and we need to find 255 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 1: a way to sustain our behavior despite wanting that immediate 256 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 1: dopamine hit. And that is the role of incremental gratification 257 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 1: and setting up small, achievable term goals that put us 258 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:07,199 Speaker 1: on the path towards long term success. This is how 259 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 1: you stay consistent. Instead of just giving yourself one goal, 260 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: like I want to get an A on this course, 261 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 1: you need to break it down into smaller incremental goals. 262 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 1: For example, I want to get eighty percent on this quiz, 263 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:27,200 Speaker 1: and I want to get an A plus on my 264 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,960 Speaker 1: literature review, and I want to spend three hours a 265 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: day revising my content before the exam. When you do 266 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 1: these things you tick off, these small goals that give 267 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 1: you a sense of gratification and give you a sense 268 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,639 Speaker 1: of joy and happiness and allow your behavior to be 269 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 1: sustained towards the big goal, the end goal in site 270 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:54,879 Speaker 1: being that grade. We need to practice delayed gratification more 271 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,800 Speaker 1: often as well, and this can look something like waiting 272 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 1: two minutes after you're thirsty before taking a sip of water, 273 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,880 Speaker 1: or when you have an impulse to do something, practice 274 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 1: delaying your fulfillment of that impulse and this will translate 275 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 1: to your ability to maintain daily consistency, to maintain your microhabits, 276 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: and you'll see a big change by bringing in this 277 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:22,960 Speaker 1: idea of incremental gratification and delayed gratification into your daily life. 278 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,679 Speaker 1: My third tip is to not to get caught up 279 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:29,920 Speaker 1: in your failures. That can be quite hard, but when 280 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: we allow ourselves to only represent our self worth based 281 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,440 Speaker 1: on what we haven't achieved and based on our perceived failures, 282 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 1: that can really cause us to self sabotage and it 283 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,480 Speaker 1: jeopardizes our self esteem, which is the foundation of all 284 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 1: our behaviors and all of our consistent habits. If we 285 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,639 Speaker 1: only focus on the negatives, we kind of get lost 286 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:56,520 Speaker 1: in the weeds, and it really sabotages and derails our 287 00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:00,680 Speaker 1: efforts to stay consistent. I think about it in this way, 288 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 1: if one small setback is going to define our journey, 289 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 1: that journey is not going to last very long because 290 00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:13,200 Speaker 1: everyone is going to experience setbacks. And if you fall 291 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 1: over the first hurdle and don't get back up again, 292 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 1: you're kind of never going to finish the race. So 293 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,320 Speaker 1: you need to switch your mindset to one that is 294 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:25,240 Speaker 1: pro failure. You have to remind yourself that there is 295 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 1: no such thing as failure, only lessons. Any long term goal, 296 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 1: like I said, is going to come with setbacks, and 297 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,639 Speaker 1: it's going to come with hard work, and it's going 298 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,399 Speaker 1: to come with sacrifices. But if you only focus on 299 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 1: the negative side of things, it's very easy to give 300 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 1: up quite quickly. So I adopt this practice of celebrating 301 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: my failures. And I saw someone doing this the other 302 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: day and it made me so proud and so happy. 303 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 1: And essentially what it does is it makes you feel 304 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 1: that your failures are just as important as your successes. So, 305 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:03,040 Speaker 1: for example, if something doesn't go right, instead of feeling 306 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:06,320 Speaker 1: ashamed by that, instead of feeling this sense of stigma 307 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 1: and this sense of anxiety. What you do is you 308 00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:13,639 Speaker 1: celebrate the lesson that that contained. Maybe that involves having 309 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,640 Speaker 1: a glass of wine and saying, oh, my gosh, look 310 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 1: at me. I got sixty percent on that quiz. And 311 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,639 Speaker 1: you know what that means. It means that I've learnt 312 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,440 Speaker 1: so much from what I did wrong there, and I 313 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: can adapt my I can adapt my studying habits, I 314 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 1: can adapt my mindset and my outlook, and next time 315 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,199 Speaker 1: it's going to be even better, and I can avoid 316 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,879 Speaker 1: a greater pain later on during the semester. Or it 317 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 1: really does apply to everything. You need to celebrate your 318 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 1: failures and treat them with the same amount of success 319 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 1: and excitement as your success is essentially, and what that 320 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,160 Speaker 1: does is it allows you to no longer get caught 321 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 1: up in what is going wrong and caught up in 322 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 1: what you're doing wrong, which will allow you to stop 323 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:02,679 Speaker 1: self sabotaging your own journey. My next tip to building 324 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:08,639 Speaker 1: consistency seems counterintuitive, but it's rest. You need to rest. 325 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: We can become so consumed by an ambition or a 326 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 1: goal that we have in mind that we lose all 327 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 1: semblance of balance and all that is going to do 328 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:27,359 Speaker 1: is derail your ambitions and derail your success. You need 329 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:32,240 Speaker 1: a diversity of experiences and a diversity of stimulation to 330 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:37,160 Speaker 1: keep you sustained. If you want to be consistent towards 331 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,760 Speaker 1: a goal or an area in your life, you cannot 332 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,639 Speaker 1: purely be devoted to that goal because what's going to 333 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,160 Speaker 1: happen is you're going to hit a wall, You're going 334 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 1: to become burnt out, and you're going to quit. So 335 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: what I always recommend is kind of the eighty twenty rule. 336 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 1: And I've spoken about this before, but how it relates 337 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: to building consistence is that eighty percent of your time 338 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,280 Speaker 1: should be devoted to the work, it should be devoted 339 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 1: to your habits, but there has always got to be 340 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 1: that twenty percent that is devoted to the things that 341 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 1: make you happy beyond the context of striving towards your goals. 342 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:19,640 Speaker 1: What that allows for is your brain to receive stimulation 343 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,439 Speaker 1: and break up the day so that its motivation is sustained. 344 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:27,159 Speaker 1: So what that means is, instead of spending all day 345 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 1: in the library and then going home exhausted at eleven PM, 346 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,359 Speaker 1: go and see a friend for dinner and break up 347 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 1: your day, or go for a walk in the morning, 348 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 1: or do something that you actually like to do that's 349 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:40,480 Speaker 1: going to make it easier for you to return to 350 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:44,240 Speaker 1: the tasks at hand. And that really relates to anything. 351 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,320 Speaker 1: It relates to any goal. I know I'm using the 352 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 1: academia example quite a bit here, but I do think 353 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 1: it's because it's irrelevant in our twenties. But back to 354 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:56,399 Speaker 1: that one about drinking more water. If eighty percent of 355 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 1: your day is focused on staying hydrated, let the other 356 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:03,760 Speaker 1: twenty percent be focused on having a nice can of 357 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:08,400 Speaker 1: coke or a juice instead. You're allowed to give yourself 358 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,879 Speaker 1: rest days from your goals, and they are just as 359 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:17,440 Speaker 1: important as those action packed focused days as well. My 360 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: final major tip is to create a reasonable routine. I 361 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 1: am someone who has always struggled with routine. I find 362 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:30,000 Speaker 1: it really hard to stick to a certain schedule. I'm 363 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 1: very much ago with the flow person. But one of 364 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,159 Speaker 1: my friends said it this way, and I think that 365 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 1: it's really valuable how she presented it to me, and 366 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 1: that is to start, instead of jumping straight into a 367 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 1: daily routine, start with a monthly routine. What are the 368 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 1: things that you want to get done on a monthly basis? 369 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,720 Speaker 1: And when do you need them to be scheduled in 370 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 1: throughout the month. Once you have accomplished that, then you 371 00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,520 Speaker 1: move to a week by week basis. So say, for example, 372 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,440 Speaker 1: on a weekly basis, you want to work out three 373 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 1: times a week in order to achieve some kind of 374 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,680 Speaker 1: health or fitness goal you have. You can schedule those 375 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,479 Speaker 1: in the week where best suits you and try your 376 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,680 Speaker 1: best to follow that. And once you feel that you 377 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 1: have a good handle over your monthly schedule and then 378 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 1: your weekly schedule, move on to your daily schedule. It's 379 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,119 Speaker 1: about starting small. As we were talking about with the 380 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,920 Speaker 1: microhabits the worst, well, I guess the easiest way to 381 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 1: derail any goal that you have is to go all 382 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 1: in too quickly and to exhaust yourself and completely change 383 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:44,840 Speaker 1: your life. That's going to feel really unnatural. Our brains 384 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:50,119 Speaker 1: and our minds and our bodies like comfort. They like 385 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,680 Speaker 1: what is known. They do not like novel new experiences 386 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 1: that kind of shake our core and our sense of 387 00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:01,440 Speaker 1: kind of convenience and comfort. So if you immediately have 388 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,480 Speaker 1: this goal in mind and you change everything about your life, 389 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:08,680 Speaker 1: it's not going to be sustainable. So starting small and 390 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 1: building up to the big is an incredible way to 391 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 1: ensure that you are consistent with regards to your goals. 392 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,959 Speaker 1: Also set reminders for yourself as well. If you've got 393 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,440 Speaker 1: something in mind that you want to achieve, one of 394 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 1: the best ways to keep your brain engaged in that 395 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 1: long term goal and to stay consistent in the habits 396 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,600 Speaker 1: that are required for its success is to remind yourself 397 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:36,800 Speaker 1: as often as possible your reasons for being invested in 398 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 1: this and your vision. When I was at school, actually 399 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 1: one of my teachers told me to print out pictures 400 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:48,600 Speaker 1: of my dream university and the literal numbers of the 401 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,200 Speaker 1: grades that I wanted and place them around my desk. 402 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,399 Speaker 1: And I thought that was a little bit insane. I 403 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:55,960 Speaker 1: was like, that is, I do not want to be 404 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,080 Speaker 1: consumed by this goal. But what it actually did was 405 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,639 Speaker 1: allow me to stay more motivated because I had a 406 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,440 Speaker 1: visual que and a visual reminder as to why I 407 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 1: was pursuing a certain set of habits and a certain goal. 408 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: And so on those days when it was harder to 409 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,879 Speaker 1: really get out of bed and it was harder to 410 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,720 Speaker 1: not give into that instant gratification and go on my phone, 411 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,440 Speaker 1: that visual reminder acted as a safety net for my 412 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:26,400 Speaker 1: lack of motivation, and it was incredibly powerful. I also 413 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:31,119 Speaker 1: think that it's important to surround yourself with people who 414 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:35,399 Speaker 1: have similar goals and that will inspire you. This was 415 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 1: advice that was given to me by the wonderful Violet Benson. 416 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 1: She hosts the podcast Almost Adulting, and she told me 417 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 1: that the easiest way for us to fall off the 418 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,280 Speaker 1: bandwagon and to give up on our goals is to 419 00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,240 Speaker 1: be surrounded by people who don't believe in them, and 420 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,840 Speaker 1: to be surrounded by people who don't believe enough in 421 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,640 Speaker 1: their own goals. That is one of the worst things 422 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,080 Speaker 1: you can do, because we have to remind ourselves that 423 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 1: we are an amalgamation of our five closest people in 424 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 1: our lives, our five closest friends, our family members, our partners. 425 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,360 Speaker 1: Those people are what makes up our identity, and from 426 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 1: our identity stems our motivation. So it may seem harsh, 427 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:23,120 Speaker 1: but if you're around people who are going to pressure 428 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:28,080 Speaker 1: you into sacrificing your work to go and have fun 429 00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,480 Speaker 1: all the time, or are going to pressure you into 430 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,960 Speaker 1: feeling like your goals and your ambitions aren't worthy or 431 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 1: don't deserve or don't deserve your time, I guess you're 432 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 1: kind of not really setting yourself up for a great 433 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,160 Speaker 1: start there, You're not really setting yourself up for success. 434 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:48,800 Speaker 1: So really closely examine where you sit and where your 435 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 1: goals sit in regards to your environment, including your relationships. 436 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:58,399 Speaker 1: And it doesn't mean entirely cutting people out, that's ridiculous, 437 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,359 Speaker 1: But I think what it does mean is knowing what 438 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:06,600 Speaker 1: it's going to come at an expense of and reminding yourself, 439 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:10,200 Speaker 1: perhaps more often, why you can't go out and drink 440 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,800 Speaker 1: and why it's probably not great to spend every night 441 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 1: clubbing or every night hanging out with these people because 442 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:18,720 Speaker 1: you have a bigger goal in mind and you want 443 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:22,600 Speaker 1: to stay consistent. I've spent a large portion of this 444 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 1: episode really rattling on about consistency and motivation, and I 445 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 1: think maybe we need a breath of fresh air from that, 446 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:35,159 Speaker 1: because this is your daily reminder that not everything is 447 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:41,520 Speaker 1: about being productive. Our society is very success focused and 448 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,920 Speaker 1: success orientated, and I think that that can be dangerous 449 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:50,880 Speaker 1: because it convinces us that our outputs and our successes 450 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 1: are the sole source of our worth, and that's not true. 451 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 1: We can't forget that we are more than our achievements. 452 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,880 Speaker 1: We are more than our consistency, We are more than 453 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:09,040 Speaker 1: our habits. It's very easy, I think, especially in our twenties, 454 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 1: when we're really consumed by this pressure to be successful 455 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 1: and to achieve all these amazing goals and amazing milestones, 456 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:22,720 Speaker 1: it can be very easy to think that the only 457 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:27,000 Speaker 1: value that we have to society is what we put out, 458 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 1: and that our success is the only thing that matters. 459 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,200 Speaker 1: And that's not true. You need to see that your 460 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 1: identity and you need to recognize that your identity is 461 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,440 Speaker 1: more than just that. It's actually made up of five 462 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,240 Speaker 1: core buckets. It's made up of your relationships, of your hobbies, 463 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 1: it's made up of your values, your characteristics, and then 464 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 1: your achievements. And as someone who gets very hyper fixated 465 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 1: on one goal and can find that everything else around 466 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 1: me kind of gets blocked out by this hyperfixation, sometimes 467 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:07,840 Speaker 1: it's really important to deliberately remind yourself that life is 468 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 1: more than that. Life is more than your grades, Life 469 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 1: is more than your career success. It's more than some 470 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 1: fitness goal you have. It's also about enjoying your life 471 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 1: and pouring as much as you can into every single 472 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 1: domain so that you are happy. But back to what 473 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,719 Speaker 1: we were speaking about today. Let's quickly summarize those tips. 474 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 1: All of us want to be consistent, and I do think, 475 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:37,080 Speaker 1: like I said at the beginning, consistency is the easiest 476 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 1: way to sustain our motivation and to stay focused on 477 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:45,280 Speaker 1: our long term goals, but also enable us to enjoy life. 478 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:49,320 Speaker 1: So in order to build consistency, we need to focus 479 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 1: on our micro habits, the small, everyday things you can 480 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:57,680 Speaker 1: change in your life. We need to set both long 481 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:03,440 Speaker 1: term and short term goals, including focusing on delayed gratification 482 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 1: and incremental gratification. We also need to rest. We need 483 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 1: to not focus on our small setbacks and our small failures. 484 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 1: They are not what matters. And we need to create 485 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:20,400 Speaker 1: a reasonable routine, something that is actually very easy to integrate, 486 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 1: rather than going all or nothing straight away, because that 487 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,760 Speaker 1: is the easiest path to burn out and to kind 488 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 1: of falling off the bandwagon. So I hope that you 489 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: have enjoyed this. I hope that this has motivated you 490 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:37,320 Speaker 1: towards your goals. We are such an ambitious generation, I think, 491 00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 1: and a lot of us have these grand ideas in mind, 492 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:44,000 Speaker 1: and like I've said so many times throughout this episode, 493 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:47,720 Speaker 1: you're not going to get there without consistency. The secret 494 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 1: to success is consistency, and that is what's going to 495 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:55,600 Speaker 1: sustain you even when your motivation fails you. So I 496 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:59,840 Speaker 1: hope this has given you some practical, tangible advice and 497 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,160 Speaker 1: habits that you can implement in your own life. I'm 498 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,440 Speaker 1: rooting for you. I know you're gonna get it done. 499 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: I know you're going to achieve everything that you want. 500 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,360 Speaker 1: So hopefully with some of this information and some of 501 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 1: this psychology, you can make some of those dreams a reality. 502 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 1: And as always, if you enjoyed this episode, please feel 503 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,800 Speaker 1: free to leave a five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, 504 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,480 Speaker 1: wherever you are listening right now. If you have a 505 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:30,240 Speaker 1: friend in mind who needs to hear this episode, send 506 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,400 Speaker 1: them the link right now. You should send it to them. 507 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 1: It might help them out, might make their day. And 508 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,080 Speaker 1: if you have an episode suggestion, like I always say, 509 00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,440 Speaker 1: please feel free to follow us at that psychology podcast. 510 00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 1: I love hearing from you. I love hearing what's going 511 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:48,239 Speaker 1: on in your life and how psychology and science can 512 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,800 Speaker 1: explain some of those experiences. So please feel free to 513 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 1: share over there and give us some feedback, or just 514 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,360 Speaker 1: come and say hi whatever suits you best, and we 515 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,280 Speaker 1: will be back next week with another episode.