1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:04,880 Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya read an iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in and today is the 3 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 2: first day of Tanya and Becca's book club. So the 4 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 2: book of topic is Untamed by Glennon Doyle. 5 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:28,600 Speaker 3: Yes, I read this book. 6 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 2: I think it came out in twenty twenty, so I 7 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 2: think I read it pretty much right when it came out. 8 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 4: And I read it shortly after you. 9 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 2: And it was so there were so many parallels as 10 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 2: I was reading it to my own life and situation. 11 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,480 Speaker 3: I was just I remember reading it being like, oh. 12 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,199 Speaker 2: My gosh, this is exactly if I was an author 13 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 2: and had away with words. This is exactly how I 14 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 2: would describe it or say it. So we are kind 15 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 2: of going through and reading it and just going to 16 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 2: kind of talk about things that resonated with us. You 17 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 2: don't actually need to read the book. I think it's 18 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,679 Speaker 2: a great book to read. But if you're like I'm 19 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 2: not a reader, I don't have time, you can just 20 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 2: tune in and hear a. 21 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 3: Chit chat about it. 22 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know, we're all we're doing this in 23 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 1: hopes that we can lock Glennon Doyle. 24 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,039 Speaker 4: In the club. 25 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:17,560 Speaker 3: By the way. 26 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 4: So I message her, so you Glennon? 27 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 3: No, no, yeah, okay. 28 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 2: I messaged Glennon so I had posted the photo of 29 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,960 Speaker 2: the four of us from the soccer game. She saw 30 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 2: it but didn't do anything, didn't hurt it, didn't hurt it. 31 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,320 Speaker 2: So then I was like, oh, it was so great meeting, 32 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 2: like thanks for being so warm, Like sorry, I was 33 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 2: like spewing my like words at you, but whatever, you know, 34 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:43,399 Speaker 2: saw it? 35 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 3: No, re. 36 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 4: So I don't know how to do them. 37 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 2: That's like, it's like when didn't this happen to someone 38 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 2: where they's we talked about like a grace per Oh no, 39 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 2: it was like I messaged Jesse Williams and we were 40 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 2: always saying, like we saw it. 41 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 3: That'd be devastating. 42 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, she's she's now seen and not replied twice. Yeah, 43 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 4: I mean a charm. 44 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 2: No, I gotta take a break. My ego can't handle it. 45 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 2: Is the thief of success success, yes, okay, but I'm 46 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 2: going to. 47 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:17,799 Speaker 3: Just give it a break. 48 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:18,119 Speaker 1: Yeah. 49 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 4: I mean it's gonna take us minute to get to 50 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 4: the book. 51 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, Well hopefully we'll make progress again. 52 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 4: I know, I can't believe you were seen and not 53 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 4: replied and I. 54 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 3: Replied to, it's okay, she's busy. 55 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 4: Okay, look good for So it's not looking good for us, It's. 56 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 2: Okay, Alas, we are going to continue the journey of Untamed. 57 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:38,799 Speaker 4: Yes we are. 58 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 3: So the book starts out with. 59 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 2: Her talking about she goes to a zoo with her 60 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 2: kids and they have a cheetah run right where they 61 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,359 Speaker 2: have like a dog that did you listen to this 62 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 2: part or read this part? 63 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 4: Is this the prologue? 64 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 3: Yeah? No, okay, so she this was this part is 65 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 3: so crazy. 66 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 2: So she starts out the book and she's saying they 67 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,079 Speaker 2: go to the zoo and her kids wanted to go 68 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 2: to the cheeta run. So they go to the cheetah 69 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 2: run and that the trainer is like has a dog 70 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 2: with her and she's like, oh, this is Tabitha. Tabitha 71 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 2: is the cheetah and she's like, this is Tabitha's friend Mini. 72 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 2: They were raised together and they are best friends and whatnot. 73 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 2: So all of a sudden, they released this like pink 74 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,240 Speaker 2: bunny like that's like a stuffed animal or something, and 75 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 2: it is on like a string or something, and the 76 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 2: cheetah like launches after and starts chasing it and Glennon 77 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 2: recognizes that the cheetah is just focused on getting this 78 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 2: like dirty old rabbit, and it's just been trained to 79 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 2: chase this rabbit and then it gets its reward, and 80 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 2: that's it doesn't even realize the power or like the 81 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 2: wild that it contains because it's just been raised in 82 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 2: this cage to perform for these people, right, And so 83 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 2: she talks about how I wrote these in my notes, 84 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 2: So she just talks about how. 85 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 3: The cheetah just does what it's expected to do. 86 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 2: It just like does the things that it was taught 87 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 2: and brought up to do, and it doesn't even realize 88 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 2: the power that it holds if it just like remembered 89 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 2: it's wild. So that's where the whole thing comes from, untamed, 90 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 2: like this is a tamed wild animal. Yeah, And how 91 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 2: we as people are tamed to go a train to 92 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 2: just follow the bunny and chase the bunny and have 93 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 2: our head down, not even look to the right or left, 94 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 2: and just go on the path that we're taught to do. 95 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,280 Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my gosh, that really. I 96 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,160 Speaker 3: remember reading. 97 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 2: It the first time and being like, oh, I get that, 98 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 2: but like for some reason, hearing it again this time 99 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 2: I was like, that is so accurate to how I 100 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,679 Speaker 2: feel like for me, like how I lived my life 101 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:38,280 Speaker 2: was just like. 102 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 3: You're good. You're a good girl. 103 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 2: You follow the rules, you stay in this lane, you 104 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,840 Speaker 2: go after this goal, and that's what you do. You 105 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 2: don't like look to the right or left. Yeah, And 106 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 2: I was like, whoa, this is so good. 107 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 3: I can't believe you didn't read that part. 108 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, prologue, you know, if it's really that important, it 109 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:03,159 Speaker 1: should be chapter one. Like the prologue to me is 110 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 1: very throwaway. 111 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 2: Well yeah, in those cases, I said, I don't really 112 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,280 Speaker 2: resonate in the sense of being like a wild animal 113 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 2: or anything like that, but in the way of following 114 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,359 Speaker 2: rules and expectations that other people have of you. 115 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: But that's the whole overarching, overarching theme of the book, 116 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 1: is being untamed, so like how we all live our lives, not. 117 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 4: Being wild, we just do kind of. 118 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: And what I found to be interesting was early on 119 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,679 Speaker 1: she said that at ten years old is when kids 120 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 1: start to hide who they really are to fit society's ideals. 121 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 4: And I was like, that is so interesting. 122 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: Because like when you're a kid and you don't really 123 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,039 Speaker 1: like realize what's going on, you are you're just so yourself, 124 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And then there is a 125 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:54,160 Speaker 1: point where like when you start to wear do you 126 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:55,919 Speaker 1: you want to start to wear deodorant because you're like 127 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 1: aware of like people saying people smell or like whatever, 128 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,280 Speaker 1: you start shaving, Yeah, you know what I mean. And 129 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,280 Speaker 1: it's like around ten. 130 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 2: That's so funny because I literally wrote my notes like 131 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 2: I don't have a memory. I don't have a memory 132 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 2: of when because she talks about when they lose the 133 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,359 Speaker 2: spark is at ten years old, when you lose like 134 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 2: the spark of just like being wild. Yeah, And I 135 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 2: couldn't place a memory. But then when you just said that, 136 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,119 Speaker 2: it was I think I remember needing to shave because 137 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I can't have I can't have 138 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:26,279 Speaker 2: hair on my legs. 139 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, like I remember that because that's like around sixth grade, 140 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: and I remember maybe fifth grade, but I remember so 141 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: specifically because I went to a Catholic school. I was 142 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:44,400 Speaker 1: Serbian Orthodox. I could not have been like more not 143 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: like my classmates, you know what I mean. Like everybody 144 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 1: was doing first communions and coming to school in the 145 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 1: white dresses and my parents didn't know. So I was 146 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: in like a white and blue dress, you know what 147 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 1: I mean. Like I was that girl that was like 148 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: in this school and was kind of not like everybody else, 149 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,479 Speaker 1: and that's all I wanted to be. I just wanted 150 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,360 Speaker 1: to be like everybody else, you know what I mean. 151 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,279 Speaker 1: Like I just wanted to be like that. And it's 152 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,360 Speaker 1: so crazy because now I'm really proud of like who 153 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 1: I am and where I came from. But I remember 154 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 1: then being like embarrassed that I had a slava and 155 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 1: I didn't have a first communion and like all that stuff, 156 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,560 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But like I remember feeling 157 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 1: so much that and I wanted to fit in so bad. 158 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: And everybody started shaving their legs at a certain age, 159 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 1: and my parents wouldn't let me shave my legs. So 160 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 1: I would go into the trash, like the bathroom trash 161 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 1: and find like my sister's old razors that she like 162 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 1: threw in there, or my mom's and I would use those. 163 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 1: I would like hide them in a drawer in my 164 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: room and I would use those to like dry shave 165 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 1: my legs. 166 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, isn't that crazy. 167 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 3: That's a very common experience. 168 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 2: So my mom had that where she went to shave 169 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 2: her legs and shaved it dry and just had cuts 170 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,239 Speaker 2: like up and down her leg Yeah, talk about. 171 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, I remember like so vividly. 172 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: I remember feel it from the trash can, put it 173 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 1: in a drawer in my room and like hide that 174 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: I was shaving. 175 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 2: Well, so this is this is fascinating to me because 176 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 2: so Robbie's kids are one of them's. 177 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 3: Ten eleven eleven. Okay, you talk about. 178 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 2: The difference in both of the boys and how one's 179 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 2: so aware and the other one's just kind of. 180 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 4: Like still kidty he has no Yeah. 181 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 2: And that I thought about that when I was reading this, 182 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 2: because I was like, oh my gosh, there's there is 183 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 2: that shift where you're a kid and you have no 184 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:33,640 Speaker 2: worries or fears and everything's blissful. Yeah, and then there's 185 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 2: a moment where things change and it's things is just 186 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 2: so much more aware. 187 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, I've seen I can totally see it in 188 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 1: the two of them. And that's what likes so crazy. 189 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I think she's onto something with this 190 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,840 Speaker 1: ten ten year old thing. Yeah, Glennon and those what's up? 191 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 2: Well. She The way she talked about it was that 192 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:54,240 Speaker 2: when she met her wife, Abby, her Abby went to 193 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 2: ask her mom for approval to propose to Glennon. Yeah, 194 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 2: and her mom, with like tears in her eyes, was like, 195 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 2: I see the spark again. 196 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 3: I haven't seen this she was ten. 197 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I haven't seen her have the spark or 198 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 2: feel this alive since she was ten. And that's when 199 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 2: Glennon had this realization of like, does have Is that 200 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:15,720 Speaker 2: a universal thing that happens to everybody? 201 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 4: Yeah? It does? 202 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 3: Yeah girl? 203 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,960 Speaker 2: So sad Okay. So the next part that I really 204 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 2: resonated with. So when she talks about meeting Abby, she 205 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 2: says this was the first time. 206 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 3: She said it was the first time. 207 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 2: I chose something beyond what I had been trained to want, 208 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:39,280 Speaker 2: and I was like, whoa, that is exactly how I 209 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 2: felt when I met Haley. And I remember thinking like, 210 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 2: this could be very complicated in terms of my family, 211 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 2: my background, my following, you know, but I'm going to 212 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 2: choose myself. I'm going to choose this because it's the 213 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 2: first time I like really really like feel like I 214 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 2: want something. 215 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 4: Yeah. I remember when we used to think you didn't 216 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 4: have it in you. 217 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 3: Yeah. 218 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, because I just like, oh, maybe. 219 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 1: Becca's just like not gonna love like this, like she's 220 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,240 Speaker 1: never gonna love like this. 221 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 3: And you know what, I think I was always content. 222 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 2: I never experienced where I felt like miserable or I 223 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 2: was unhappy or I didn't have happiness or joy around me. 224 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,679 Speaker 3: I just think I was like content. 225 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 4: Yeah. 226 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,199 Speaker 2: I never knew the experience of like being so madly 227 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 2: in love with someone, like wanting something so badly, I 228 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 2: think until I met Hayley. And then I now I 229 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 2: realize want a loss that is for people. Yeah, because 230 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,680 Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, you can live a life of being fine. 231 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,080 Speaker 2: It can be fine, it can be just good enough, 232 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 2: but like you also can have a life with so 233 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 2: much more. 234 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 4: Yeah. 235 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 2: So and then she said creating a life with her 236 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 2: was the first original idea I'd ever had in the 237 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,280 Speaker 2: first decision I made as a free woman. 238 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:56,440 Speaker 3: And I'm like, wow, Glennon. 239 00:10:56,520 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 2: I think she was in her forties when she met Abby, Like, 240 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 2: that's such a long time. 241 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 3: To live, like for other people. And it's reminded me 242 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 3: that so many people live life just like their whole 243 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:11,840 Speaker 3: life is. 244 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,959 Speaker 2: Lived and then they get to a certain age and 245 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 2: they look back. I remember reading Evelyn Hugo actually, which 246 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 2: might be our next book club for five years from. 247 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 4: Now people get through this one and. 248 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 2: She the whole story is her kind of like looking 249 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 2: back at her life, and she was like, I didn't. 250 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,199 Speaker 3: I realized like I was living. 251 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 2: My life for other people, my whole life, and I 252 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 2: was thinking, like what a sad. That was a moment 253 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 2: where I go like, maybe I'm ready to come out 254 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,440 Speaker 2: with Haley because I don't want to live my life. 255 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 2: I don't want to look back and be like, oh 256 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 2: my gosh, I didn't share this part of my life 257 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 2: that was so like beautiful and special because maybe I 258 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 2: would disappoint people because they had different expectations for me, 259 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,199 Speaker 2: Like it felt so silly when you like put it 260 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 2: into this like huge perspective. 261 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, So I really that section. 262 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 3: I was like, wow, it. 263 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:03,439 Speaker 1: Is so interesting because I do think that a lot 264 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 1: of people go a certain path, whether it's what they 265 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: choose to do professionally or who they choose to marry 266 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 1: or whatever it may be, because that's like the pressure 267 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: that's put on them. 268 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,160 Speaker 4: And then I think you do you get to an 269 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 4: age where you're like, what did I do all this for? 270 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 3: Yeah? Dark, because if you can say what did I 271 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,120 Speaker 3: do all this for? 272 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 2: And your answer is I did this for other people's expectations, 273 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 2: then you didn't live because you accommodated, right. 274 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 4: But you don't even realize it. No, you don't realize it. 275 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why, like I've always been so you know, 276 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,920 Speaker 1: I've actually had some people message me being like, uh, 277 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,200 Speaker 1: you know, how can you support a modern woman that 278 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,320 Speaker 1: wants to stay at home but a stay at home mom? 279 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: And I'm like, because being a modern woman is doing 280 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 1: what you want no matter what anybody else thinks or 281 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 1: wants of you. And if like some people, like some 282 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:03,400 Speaker 1: people want to be stay at home moms and like 283 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,360 Speaker 1: that's the desire of their heart, then that's what they 284 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:05,839 Speaker 1: should do. 285 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,239 Speaker 4: But I feel like a lot of people. 286 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,200 Speaker 1: Don't want to do that, and that's the expectation that's 287 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 1: put on them, and so sometimes they do, like they'll 288 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 1: give up their career so that they that they can 289 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 1: be a stay at home mom, and then they end 290 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 1: up regretting it for the rest of their lives. 291 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,840 Speaker 2: I think wanting to be right now in my life, 292 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 2: I think wanting to be a stay at home mom 293 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 2: is like one of the most. 294 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 3: Like modern woman things you could ever do. I think 295 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 3: that might be the hardest job. Yeah, I really do. 296 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,559 Speaker 5: I fear sometimes we swung too hard the other way. 297 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,440 Speaker 5: It's because you know, I talk to women that like 298 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,319 Speaker 5: aren't career focused, and they always feel like, oh, I'm 299 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:40,680 Speaker 5: not accomplishing enough. Yeah yeah, I'm like, you don't have to. 300 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 4: I don't know. 301 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 5: It makes me sad. 302 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:42,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel that. 303 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 2: I agree, and I think we've swung in the I 304 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:49,560 Speaker 2: think we've swung in the opposite direction. And I think 305 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:54,079 Speaker 2: that if you are taking on raising children in this generation, 306 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 2: in this world that we live in, I think you're 307 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 2: taking on one of the biggest roles because you're literally 308 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 2: raising and staying home with the next generation. And that's 309 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 2: not to say if you are career focused and want 310 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 2: to do it all that you can't. I'm just saying, like, 311 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 2: I think we've almost that that's become a negative. 312 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,920 Speaker 3: Thing is so twisted, and how we see things. 313 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 4: I'd like to be a hybrid. 314 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 3: I see you as a hybrid. I think there's beautiful balance. 315 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 1: But I also think how consumed I was with my 316 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 1: dog and still am, like I almost wanted to bring 317 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 1: her today because I don't like leaving her. I can't 318 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 1: imagine what it's going to be like with a baby. 319 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 1: It's probably going to be times one billion, So yeah, 320 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: mark this recording. 321 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, this'll be one of those that people send us 322 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 2: and they're like, remember when Tanya said that balance. 323 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 3: Let's take a break. 324 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 2: And then we're going to come back and talk about 325 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 2: blowjobs section of the book. 326 00:14:45,160 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 6: Yes, it is all right, all right, we are back. 327 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,680 Speaker 2: So the next section or part of the book was 328 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 2: called blowjobs, which is a great conversation and I wanted 329 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 2: to ask you about this because yeah, I. 330 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 3: Know you do. But Glenning goes to her therapist. 331 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: Not getting them giving them, Yeah that would be interesting. 332 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks for clarifying that. Yeah, so Glennon, after she 333 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 2: falls in love with Abby, she goes to her therapist 334 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 2: and she goes, I've fallen in love with a woman. 335 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 2: And even if in her therapist is like no, like 336 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,640 Speaker 2: this is not going to go anywhere. This is a 337 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,360 Speaker 2: horrible idea, Like you gotta you know, get out of this. 338 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 2: And you have a husband or you're trying to work. 339 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 3: On your marriage. What is a phase? Is a phase? 340 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 2: And the whole backstory which she didn't really get into this. 341 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 2: I don't know how when what part she gets into this, 342 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 2: but Glennon's husband cheated on her, and so they were 343 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 2: her whole story with her books. Before she met Abby, 344 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,080 Speaker 2: they were like trying to rekindle their marriage and like 345 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,840 Speaker 2: stay together and get through with the kids, work through it. 346 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 2: And so she tells her therapists She's like, I just 347 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,120 Speaker 2: get so angry, like I think I'm okay, and then 348 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 2: he gets on top of me and I just feel 349 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 2: filled with rage. I don't I can't. I can barely 350 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 2: even lay there. I don't want to have sex with them. Like, 351 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 2: even if I don't like move forward with Abby, what 352 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 2: am I supposed to do about this feeling I have 353 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 2: towards my husband? 354 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 3: And what is the therapist say, Tanya, have you tried blowjob? 355 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 1: A lot of women say that they're less intimate and 356 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 1: they can do that, And I'm like, this just goes 357 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 1: to show you finding a good therapist is crucial because 358 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 1: if that's her suggestion, that blew my mind. And this 359 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: wasn't like twenty thirty years ago, this was pretty recent. 360 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:56,400 Speaker 3: Within the decade. 361 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's crazy. 362 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: But also like if I went to my therapist and 363 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 1: said I don't want to touch my husband and she said, 364 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,000 Speaker 1: have you tried blowjobs? 365 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 4: I'd be like give me my money back. 366 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 2: I just found it interesting in the sense that I 367 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,960 Speaker 2: know that you love them, but like most of my 368 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,600 Speaker 2: friends I talk to, they're kind of like, I mean, 369 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 2: I'd rather sometimes just have sex and have to give 370 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 2: a blow like that feels like more work, and like 371 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 2: that feels like giving more. 372 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 3: So I was you're hard to ask because you what 373 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:30,960 Speaker 3: you're generous. 374 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,199 Speaker 4: To me. It's less work to give a blowjob than 375 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:34,840 Speaker 4: to have sex. 376 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 3: Well, I guess that's how the therapist felt. 377 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,959 Speaker 5: Yeah, like, do you find it to be less intimate? 378 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 1: Interesting question. I don't find it to be less intimate. 379 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,640 Speaker 1: I do find it to be a different type of intimate. 380 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:52,760 Speaker 1: I do think sex is more intimate. 381 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:53,640 Speaker 5: Yeah. 382 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,440 Speaker 3: So maybe she's saying. 383 00:17:55,280 --> 00:18:00,159 Speaker 1: Is it's more mechanical the blowjob, Yeah yeah, yeah, the 384 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 1: means to an. 385 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 5: End your job is in it. 386 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 1: It's not like there's like a loving exchange of eyes, 387 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,399 Speaker 1: like we don't make eye contact, you know, could you 388 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 1: imagine now? 389 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:15,200 Speaker 2: I honestly, yeah, that's exactly what I imagine for you. 390 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,640 Speaker 4: Just like why that's so the thought of that makes 391 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,200 Speaker 4: me want to cry. 392 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 5: Wish it is. 393 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,040 Speaker 4: Less intimate though, So she is right with something, But 394 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:29,440 Speaker 4: I just. 395 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 3: Can't imagine feeling. 396 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 2: I can't imagine saying like I'm having a really hard 397 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 2: time connecting with someone and like like being intimate with 398 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,919 Speaker 2: someone in this suggestion is to give a blowjob. I'm like, 399 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,439 Speaker 2: absolutely not. Yeah, that's like never gonna happen. 400 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 4: No. 401 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 2: So, needless to say, I'm assuming that maybe she's not 402 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 2: with that therapist, or I don't want to make it up. 403 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,679 Speaker 1: I would hope or maybe let this be a lesson 404 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 1: to us all that a good therapist is key. 405 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:57,960 Speaker 4: Key. 406 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 3: So the next topic was the Golden Girls in high school. 407 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,199 Speaker 2: I think I can't remember when the ones, Yeah, the 408 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 2: Golden Ones, but I can't remember what the I think 409 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,120 Speaker 2: it was called tick marks. 410 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, tick marks because. 411 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 2: She she cheated and uh did the marked herself to 412 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,120 Speaker 2: be on the homecoming court? 413 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:16,400 Speaker 4: Yeah? 414 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,879 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. To me, the concept of the Golden Ones 415 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 1: was like the popular kids in high. 416 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:26,480 Speaker 4: School mm hmm. And I thought I wanted to talk. 417 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:28,159 Speaker 1: About like high school, like were you one of the 418 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,359 Speaker 1: Golden Ones in high school? 419 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 2: I think, my whole life I've been a golden One. 420 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 2: But not in a way where I'm like bragging. I 421 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 2: knew you were gonna say that, Not in a way 422 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 2: of like bragging being the popular girl, but more and 423 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,399 Speaker 2: like I knew what to do to get approval from people. 424 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,560 Speaker 2: So like I knew how to act to have approval 425 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 2: for my teachers, I knew how to act to have 426 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 2: approval from everyone in my life. I knew how to 427 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,439 Speaker 2: be the best student. I just knew how to be 428 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:55,480 Speaker 2: the golden child. Child, Yeah, the golden one. So I 429 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 2: went to a really small school, Like I graduated with 430 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 2: thirty people. So I I did make homecoming court and 431 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,359 Speaker 2: I was homecoming queen. 432 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,200 Speaker 4: You were homecoming queens, yes. 433 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 2: But like. 434 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:13,119 Speaker 3: School, and so I felt. 435 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:17,520 Speaker 5: Queen as a ride Wow in the presence of royalty royalty, 436 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,400 Speaker 5: I thought you were going to bring me a crown 437 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:19,919 Speaker 5: or something. 438 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:25,119 Speaker 2: But I when I was listening to it, I was 439 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:29,879 Speaker 2: like thinking about how that's perceived when you talk about it, 440 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,760 Speaker 2: Because when I think of high school, I don't think 441 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 2: of I think high school for some people like dictates 442 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 2: how the rest of their life is going to be 443 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,200 Speaker 2: like they are who they are in high school forever. 444 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,480 Speaker 2: And I never thought of high school that way. I 445 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,679 Speaker 2: thought of high school as like this is that time. 446 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:49,840 Speaker 2: I loved it and it didn't make or break me. 447 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 3: I don't think. 448 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,960 Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting because like I feel like my 449 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 1: life was an extension of my high school experience experience, 450 00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 1: and I'll tell you why I was not a golden one. 451 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:06,639 Speaker 1: I was not a golden one, but I was beloved 452 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,760 Speaker 1: by the golden ones. Does that make sense? 453 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,679 Speaker 3: That's what Glen Glennon said. She was. 454 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, So like they were, you know, the cheerleaders and 455 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 1: the jocks were kind of like the cool popular kids 456 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 1: in high school. I was always, like I still was 457 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 1: the tawny that I am now, always super expressives, super 458 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,360 Speaker 1: high energy. I was on ASB I was spirit commissioner, 459 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 1: like I was all the same type of that you 460 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:34,639 Speaker 1: see now. But the biggest, like football player, the biggest 461 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,840 Speaker 1: jock on our high school team is name's John Hale. 462 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 1: And he was like the most popular kid in school. 463 00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:43,359 Speaker 1: And he and I were like family, Like he loved me. 464 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,120 Speaker 1: I was like a little sister to him. 465 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:46,280 Speaker 4: And so. 466 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,280 Speaker 1: Because of that, I feel like everybody I was very beloved. 467 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,280 Speaker 1: Like everybody signed up to be in my musical Synergy Club, 468 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:56,159 Speaker 1: Like the whole football team signed up to be in it, 469 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 1: even though like nobody ever came to the meetings. Everybody 470 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 1: signed up because of like him, you know what I mean. Yeah, 471 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:05,160 Speaker 1: So it's interesting because I was never like a golden one. 472 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 1: So I was like I was on golden adjacent, golden adjacent, 473 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,200 Speaker 1: And that's why I feel like I kind of am now, 474 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 1: Like I'm not like a cool girl, but like I'm adjacent, 475 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:15,919 Speaker 1: I'm in the pool. 476 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 2: Well, I think around as you think of yourself as 477 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 2: the cool girl, you're not cool anymore, right, Like as 478 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 2: soon as you think. 479 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,480 Speaker 4: I think, the cool girls know they're the cool girls. 480 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,800 Speaker 3: But that to me makes them not cool. 481 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:36,239 Speaker 4: But they're still cool subjectively. Objectively, yes, cool girls are 482 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:40,960 Speaker 4: so cool. No, Like the cool girls know they're the 483 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 4: cool girls. 484 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, but to me, knowing that you're the cool girl 485 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 2: makes you less cool. 486 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,080 Speaker 4: Not really, though, I. 487 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,200 Speaker 5: Think so so truly cool girls don't know they're cool. 488 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,840 Speaker 4: Like the Alex Earl knows she's cool, doesn't make her 489 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:57,440 Speaker 4: less cool. 490 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,760 Speaker 3: I don't think she thinks of herself is cool. 491 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 2: I think she knows that she's loved and popular, but 492 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,760 Speaker 2: I don't think she thinks. I think she's self deprecating 493 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,240 Speaker 2: and doesn't take herself seriously. 494 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 4: Oh wow, Okay, you. 495 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 3: Know what I'm saying. 496 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:13,679 Speaker 2: Like I think alex Earl knows that she's love. She 497 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:17,000 Speaker 2: has like millions of followers, and that's people try to 498 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 2: imitate everything she does. But she's also very comes across, 499 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 2: very down to earth. It doesn't take herself seriously, shows 500 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 2: her vulnerabilities, Like I don't think of her thinking she's 501 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 2: too cool for anybody. 502 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 3: It's just my take. 503 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,440 Speaker 2: Speaking of someone in the scrubbing in group remembered you 504 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 2: from Spanish class. 505 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,720 Speaker 5: Yeah, wait, let me let me say I can find it. 506 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 5: It was such a thrillancy remember performances. 507 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,240 Speaker 3: I can't rememb she didn't remember. She remembered you talking 508 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 3: about it. 509 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 5: She remembers a lot of Shakira talk. But here we go, 510 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:09,840 Speaker 5: this is Alexa Drumma or maybe that's her married. I 511 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,880 Speaker 5: went to high school with Tanya and was just listening 512 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,399 Speaker 5: to her talking about singing Shakira in Spanish class. The 513 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,040 Speaker 5: only memory I really have of her is the one 514 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 5: day I was in her Spanish class before I got 515 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,960 Speaker 5: transferred out. I don't remember her singing, but she was 516 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:24,000 Speaker 5: definitely talking about Shakira and then ask her if there's 517 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,920 Speaker 5: anyone else in the group from Lo Sal and there's 518 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:31,200 Speaker 5: a There's a lot of comments on this. Oh my gosh, 519 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:32,040 Speaker 5: when'd you graduate? 520 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,840 Speaker 4: What a year? I think two thousand and. 521 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:41,239 Speaker 5: Five Katie Smith, class of five, I'm sure. And then 522 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 5: people were asking, can you speak about the apples being 523 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:44,919 Speaker 5: thrown at people's heads or no? 524 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 3: Oh right? 525 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:46,440 Speaker 4: What were they saying? 526 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:46,720 Speaker 2: Uh? 527 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 5: No, clue what that's referring to. But if it's a 528 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,600 Speaker 5: Spanish class thing, I was only there for one day, 529 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,480 Speaker 5: she said, people throw apples at her head. That's cool. 530 00:24:54,760 --> 00:25:00,240 Speaker 5: I'm just I'm sorry I forgot about this. U No 531 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,320 Speaker 5: one knows what what you're talking about? The apples? 532 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:03,680 Speaker 2: Uh? 533 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, find Kelly Peterson in there, she'll know was talking about. 534 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:06,919 Speaker 2: This. 535 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,000 Speaker 5: Person also says you used to sing the one Try 536 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,680 Speaker 5: Hill theme song a lot. Wait is Gavin de Gras? 537 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 5: How's that song going? 538 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,959 Speaker 4: I have a do is think of me and Pizza Mine? 539 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 4: That's funny. I gotta get in that thread. 540 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a good thing. I know you're locked out 541 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 5: of Facebook. 542 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 3: Thrown was so funny. Oh my god. 543 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 1: The fact that that girl was only my Spanish class 544 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,680 Speaker 1: for one day makes sense because I did perform. 545 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 2: I believe that you performed. But the fact that she 546 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,879 Speaker 2: even just remembers the one day, that one day I 547 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:50,360 Speaker 2: think confirms that you're being honest about your performances. 548 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, And it wasn't like the apples. It wasn't like 549 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,680 Speaker 1: a mass apple throwing of like the seniors to all 550 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,720 Speaker 1: the sophomores. It was like my specific little group. So 551 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,680 Speaker 1: it was like an apple here and there. It wasn't 552 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,119 Speaker 1: like a mass apple throwing. 553 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,000 Speaker 3: And just to clarify because it's been a wile since 554 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 3: I just go to the apples. It was a whole apple. 555 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,359 Speaker 4: Yeah, it or like a bite out of it, like 556 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 4: it was like, yeah, a whole apple. 557 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,520 Speaker 3: Is that called like legit? 558 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a serious projectile. 559 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,119 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a lawsuit. 560 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:17,960 Speaker 4: I know. 561 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,479 Speaker 5: Was it Red Delicious? Granny Smith? Do you remember? 562 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:21,720 Speaker 4: I honestly don't. 563 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 3: Did you ever get hit? 564 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:23,399 Speaker 2: No? 565 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,160 Speaker 4: I didn't get you dodged them, I dodged them. Kelly 566 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 4: Peterson did she get hit? 567 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:28,200 Speaker 2: Yeah? 568 00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:29,560 Speaker 3: We should call it Kelly Peters. 569 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:31,439 Speaker 4: I wonder I think I do still follow her. 570 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 1: I think I like randomly was messaging her on Instagram 571 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:34,840 Speaker 1: about it. 572 00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 5: Do you remember the apples? 573 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 2: Can't forget that, You'll never forget happened to you. That's 574 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,600 Speaker 2: not something that would be my personality. That would be 575 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,439 Speaker 2: an extension of my life, yes, correct, post high school. 576 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, now, just dodging them, you know, like they can 577 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,120 Speaker 1: throw bricks. We'll constantly trying. 578 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:53,959 Speaker 4: I could throw make castles out of the bricks they 579 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:54,359 Speaker 4: threw at me. 580 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:55,439 Speaker 3: Damn. 581 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,159 Speaker 2: Well, she rounds out the whole thing of saying they 582 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:06,720 Speaker 2: were telling, they were telling votes for homecoming court. Yeah, 583 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,639 Speaker 2: and she needed two more to be on court, and 584 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 2: she was just shocked that she was even that close, 585 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,119 Speaker 2: and so she made her She ticked two more for 586 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,639 Speaker 2: herself and got on the court and all of a 587 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:21,840 Speaker 2: sudden she was on the homecoming court. And she was saying, 588 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,359 Speaker 2: she was like, the part that made me sad wasn't 589 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,679 Speaker 2: really that I did that. It was the desperation to 590 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 2: be loved, Yeah, you know, did to be accepted popular. 591 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, isn't that crazy? 592 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 3: It's crazy? 593 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 2: And I I think that that's why a lot of 594 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,159 Speaker 2: people there is that extension for my school, because if 595 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 2: you think about it, middle school and high school are 596 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 2: kind of like your formative years of how yeah you're 597 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,359 Speaker 2: treated and how you treat people. Correct, And I think 598 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 2: if if you're treated like someone who didn't feel like 599 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:57,160 Speaker 2: they were enough or couldn't be part of the popular group. 600 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 2: That's always gonna be deep within you. Even if you're 601 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 2: able to like move on and like have success, I 602 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,439 Speaker 2: think there's always going to be that feeling of like 603 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:10,159 Speaker 2: I need to prove myself. I feel like Taylor Swift 604 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,240 Speaker 2: has done that, Like she's written about how she wasn't 605 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 2: like part of the popular group, and I think that 606 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,399 Speaker 2: it's like she still has a. 607 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,320 Speaker 1: Fuel, like she has to keep going h and approved. Yeah, 608 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,199 Speaker 1: it gives you like a chip on your shoulder, but 609 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:23,800 Speaker 1: like that chip can be used for. 610 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,840 Speaker 4: Good, yeah or evil. Yeah, the choice is yours. 611 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:27,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 612 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:28,920 Speaker 3: Luckily Taylor's using it for good. 613 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 4: Yeah. 614 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,159 Speaker 3: But I thought that was an interesting conversation, and I 615 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:33,920 Speaker 3: thought that. 616 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:40,360 Speaker 2: Basically the whole the whole consensus, at least of the 617 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 2: part that we read, was that like, we have this 618 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,200 Speaker 2: one life, which I already touched on, and we live 619 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:51,360 Speaker 2: it for other people and other people's expectations, and it's 620 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,480 Speaker 2: not worth it, Like and I don't know, like when 621 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,400 Speaker 2: you get to I don't know if it's something monumental 622 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 2: happening in your life, like for me it was when 623 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,240 Speaker 2: I met Hayley. Yeah, but I always think like had 624 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,840 Speaker 2: I not met Haley, would there ever have been another 625 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 2: thing that happened in my life where I changed the 626 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 2: pad to choose for myself, you know, and you know. 627 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:09,040 Speaker 4: What I'm gonna do. 628 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 1: I didn't do it this time, but I when I 629 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 1: read the book the first time. 630 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:14,400 Speaker 4: I did too. 631 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,640 Speaker 1: I read the actual book, and I would highlight some 632 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,959 Speaker 1: of the like cause some of the one liners are 633 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,560 Speaker 1: so singy, and I want to bring those because I 634 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,160 Speaker 1: do feel like those are really impactful even if you 635 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:25,920 Speaker 1: haven't read the book. So next time we do the 636 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:27,960 Speaker 1: next couple, I'll highlight them. 637 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 4: Yeah. 638 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I also think that. 639 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 2: I also think that if you find something that fulfills 640 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,360 Speaker 2: you and it is on the path of expectation that 641 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,080 Speaker 2: people had for you, and you're happy and you find 642 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 2: joy in it, I don't think that's a negative thing. Look, 643 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 2: I never want to feel make people feel like if 644 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,560 Speaker 2: they don't have this like monumental shift in their life, 645 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 2: that they're doing something wrong. But I do think there's 646 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 2: a lot of people who settle in life for other 647 00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:56,800 Speaker 2: people's expectations. 648 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,560 Speaker 4: People will go to college when they don't want to 649 00:29:58,600 --> 00:29:59,120 Speaker 4: go to college. 650 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 2: That's someth It's just like personal life, it's work, it's 651 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 2: every aspect of your life. And I also think that 652 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:11,560 Speaker 2: it's okay if if the things that you were taught 653 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,240 Speaker 2: to do and it's taught to believe, if those fulfill 654 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,160 Speaker 2: you and you feel like you're living your life at 655 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 2: its best potential, that's a beautiful thing too. 656 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 3: I just never I think sometimes we're. 657 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 2: Like, you have to do your own thing and be 658 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,520 Speaker 2: your own person and step out of what you were taught, 659 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:32,240 Speaker 2: and that's not for everybody. I saw Noah Khan, you know, 660 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,680 Speaker 2: no a con Yeah, I love him. I love his music. 661 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,480 Speaker 2: But he has a song called You're Going to Go Far, 662 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,000 Speaker 2: and it's kind of like people have been posting videos 663 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 2: of them like leaving home and like going and forging 664 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,840 Speaker 2: their own path and saying like they almost feel guilty 665 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,240 Speaker 2: leaving their family behind and that it's hard to like 666 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 2: not feel guilt over like your parents getting older or whatnot. 667 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 2: And this girl posted that she was like, I I 668 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,480 Speaker 2: wish I could relate to the song, but I stayed 669 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:58,880 Speaker 2: in my small town and I'm a teacher and I 670 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 2: did everything that I was to do. And he commented 671 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,320 Speaker 2: and he was like, it's okay to stay And I 672 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 2: was like, what a beautiful like relief of like simple 673 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 2: words of saying like, it's also okay to not go 674 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 2: off and do something huge, right, but to make an 675 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:16,120 Speaker 2: impact where you are. 676 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:16,840 Speaker 4: Yeah. 677 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:17,840 Speaker 3: So I'll leave you with that. 678 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:19,560 Speaker 4: Wow, that's a great way to end it. 679 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 3: And we'll be back next week with five more chapters. 680 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:29,760 Speaker 2: Okay, so we're gonna do Dragons to Imagine, Imagine, Dragons. 681 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,160 Speaker 4: Dragon to Imagine. Wow. 682 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that song. That song gets me, so 683 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 3: it's so good. 684 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,960 Speaker 2: Okay, So Dragons to Imagine, and we will be back 685 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,560 Speaker 2: with the recap and we love you so much and 686 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 2: so talk to you next week. 687 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 4: Can't wait. 688 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:49,680 Speaker 3: Love you so much, babe,