Speaker 1: That's my colleagues. We'll start commenting on everything I get
Speaker 1: my assistant eyes at people and meeting. Why does my
Speaker 1: coworker keep taking credit for all my idea? Have any
Speaker 1: wisdom for me? Hi? I'm Alison Green. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Aska Manager podcast, where I answer questions from listeners about
Speaker 1: life at work, everything from what to say if you're
Speaker 1: allergic to your coworkers perfume to what to do if
Speaker 1: you drink too much at the company party. Let's get started.
Speaker 1: Starting a new job can be nerve racking, getting to
Speaker 1: know a bunch of new people and new information, learning
Speaker 1: a new culture, making a good impression, figuring out new expectations,
Speaker 1: all while you're still figuring out where the bathrooms are
Speaker 1: and where to get a good burrito for lunch. Our
Speaker 1: guest today is about to start a new job and
Speaker 1: she has questions. Hi, and welcome to the show. Hi. Also,
Speaker 1: thanks for having me, Thanks for being here. So you
Speaker 1: are about to start a new job and it's been
Speaker 1: a while since you were the new person somewhere, and
Speaker 1: you have a bunch of questions that you want to
Speaker 1: talk through, all centered around getting off on the right
Speaker 1: foot at the new place. Does that about sum it up.
Speaker 1: That's absolutely right. I've been in my curtel for about
Speaker 1: five years and UM in the industry for about ten,
Speaker 1: and this is just very new to me. I haven't
Speaker 1: um for for a while anyway. I haven't started a
Speaker 1: new job in a while, so I want to make
Speaker 1: sure I get going right. It's weird to start a
Speaker 1: new job, I think, after you've been somewhere else for
Speaker 1: a while. So I'm going to give you a bunch
Speaker 1: of general advice about starting a new job, and then
Speaker 1: let's dive into your specific questions. If that sounds good, perfect, okay.
Speaker 1: So I think that one big thing to frame the
Speaker 1: whole conversation around is don't get overwhelmed. And at the
Speaker 1: same time, you are going to get overwhelmed because there's
Speaker 1: going to be a huge amount of new information getting
Speaker 1: thrown at you during your first week, everything from who
Speaker 1: to talk to about the retirement planned how to actually
Speaker 1: do your job, and you are not going to retain
Speaker 1: all of it, and that is completely normal. So don't
Speaker 1: panic if you feel like you can't remember everything that
Speaker 1: is coming at you. It would be really surprising if
Speaker 1: you could remember it all. I don't think i've ever
Speaker 1: seen a new hire who could remember everything they were
Speaker 1: told during their first week. So don't freak out if
Speaker 1: you feel like you're not retaining everything, um not to
Speaker 1: the extent that you can. It's smart to write things down,
Speaker 1: and you should keep all that paperwork that they give
Speaker 1: you on your first day. Like I think people never
Speaker 1: look at it again after day one, But actually, if
Speaker 1: you hold onto it unlike your third or fourth week,
Speaker 1: you should pull it out again and take a look
Speaker 1: at it then, because you're much more likely to retain
Speaker 1: more of it than it's going to have more meaning
Speaker 1: to you once you have a bit of a structure
Speaker 1: built in your brain to sort of place it all
Speaker 1: in at that point. If that makes sense, Yeah, it does.
Speaker 1: And I mean it's three or four weeks in, it's
Speaker 1: still appropriate to go back and ask more questions, right, absolutely, yeah,
Speaker 1: And really, I mean I think in most jobs it
Speaker 1: takes at least a few months to feel like you
Speaker 1: know what you're doing and not realizing that you have
Speaker 1: constant questions that you need to ask someone. And sometimes
Speaker 1: it's even more like six months, depending on the job.
Speaker 1: So if you're a month in and you still feel
Speaker 1: a little over your head and you still realize you
Speaker 1: have questions. That is completely normal, and in the vast
Speaker 1: majority of cases that is going to go away in time.
Speaker 1: There's usually a point later where suddenly you realize that
Speaker 1: everything has clicked and you're in a flow, but it
Speaker 1: takes a few months for most people. Yeah, bet great.
Speaker 1: And then, related to feeling overwhelmed, take notes because you
Speaker 1: are going to have all these details coming at you.
Speaker 1: You're there's no way you're going to remember all of them,
Speaker 1: so just like carry something to take notes with you
Speaker 1: everywhere you go. You know, I think I say that,
Speaker 1: but I know a lot of people religiously take notes
Speaker 1: and then never look at them again. Of those, for sure,
Speaker 1: there is something for some people about the act of
Speaker 1: writing things down that does seem to lodge it in
Speaker 1: your brain a little bit more than if you never
Speaker 1: wrote it down. So I still think there's some benefit
Speaker 1: to doing it, even if you aren't really good about
Speaker 1: going back and looking at them. But this is a
Speaker 1: time I think where like you know, the end of
Speaker 1: your first week, beginning of your second week, pull out
Speaker 1: the notes and take a look, because I bet there
Speaker 1: will be something in there where you'll think, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: so glad that I am remembering this. Yeah, definitely, even
Speaker 1: if it just I'm this type of person, I'll write
Speaker 1: a note and it'll just jog the whole conversation for
Speaker 1: me when I look back at it. So that makes
Speaker 1: sense exactly. And sometimes you might realize you didn't have
Speaker 1: a question about the topic at the time it was
Speaker 1: being discussed when you were taking notes, but now a
Speaker 1: week and a half in you have more context and
Speaker 1: it's going to jog questions for you that you'll realize
Speaker 1: you need to ask. Yeah, for sure. Let's see. Another
Speaker 1: big thing is culture, So you want to really make
Speaker 1: a point of paying attention to the office culture. Every
Speaker 1: office is going to have these sort of unwritten rules
Speaker 1: about how we do things here, and sometimes they're so
Speaker 1: ingrained in the culture that people who work there can't
Speaker 1: even spot them in order to articulate them to newcomers,
Speaker 1: but they can tell when someone's not following them. So
Speaker 1: for your first couple of months, I would say, pay
Speaker 1: a lot of attention to help people operate, So like,
Speaker 1: watch things like are they all exactly on time for
Speaker 1: meetings to the minute, And it's a huge faux pat
Speaker 1: to walk in a few minutes late or same thing
Speaker 1: for time of arrival in the morning. Actually, some offices
Speaker 1: are are pretty laws a fair about it, and others
Speaker 1: are not. Um and stuff like, you know, do people
Speaker 1: mainly use email or slack to communicate or do they
Speaker 1: pop by in person? And how do they handle lunch?
Speaker 1: And who gets copied on emails? All of those little
Speaker 1: things about how the office operates that you really just
Speaker 1: kind of pick up by watching pay attention to that
Speaker 1: stuff because you're going to learn it eventually anyway, but
Speaker 1: if you make a concerted point of watching for it
Speaker 1: in the beginning, I think it will help you learn
Speaker 1: the culture more quickly, and you're it's going to feel
Speaker 1: like a more familiar environment where you fit in more
Speaker 1: quickly as well. I hadn't even thought of that, a
Speaker 1: little little office quirks that um, yeah, I've gotten used to,
Speaker 1: And now that I'm looking back, I'm thinking, did I
Speaker 1: set that example for the people who were new at
Speaker 1: my last job? That's really interesting and it's I think
Speaker 1: it's going to feel weird to you. It would feel
Speaker 1: weird to anyone starting in a job, because you're so
Speaker 1: used to the culture at your old office and you're
Speaker 1: going to see differences, and some of them will be
Speaker 1: things that I bet you wouldn't have even thought of
Speaker 1: if someone said, like, tell me about what your current
Speaker 1: office is, like, what's the culture like? There are things
Speaker 1: that are so ingrained and so unconscious that you wouldn't
Speaker 1: even think to name them, but you're going to become
Speaker 1: really aware of them at this next job because of
Speaker 1: the contrast. Yeah, definitely. Well, I'm coming from a very
Speaker 1: small company, um and where you know it's very casual
Speaker 1: and going into a much more corporate office and there's
Speaker 1: hundreds of people in the building and um that that
Speaker 1: alone is very overwhelming. But to consider each of those
Speaker 1: cultural nuances within that larger corporation is is a big
Speaker 1: deal for me. So that makes a lot of sense
Speaker 1: to follow that. By the way, do you know if
Speaker 1: you're gonna be like in your own office or in
Speaker 1: a cube or in an open office space? I don't
Speaker 1: know yet. Um I believe it's going to be a
Speaker 1: cubical kind of situation. Okay, if it were a completely
Speaker 1: open office, well, first of all, you would have my sympathies.
Speaker 1: But second, if it were an open office, I would
Speaker 1: say there's I think there's even more practices that you
Speaker 1: would find that had evolved about how people work in
Speaker 1: that space, like stuff like no one ever takes a
Speaker 1: call and speaker phone if you're lucky, and and will
Speaker 1: be really rate if you do, or just like modulating
Speaker 1: their voices or so forth. So if you did end
Speaker 1: up in a shared space, I would say, really watch
Speaker 1: how people navigate that, right, because it's it's so easy
Speaker 1: to run a foul of unspoken rules in that kind
Speaker 1: of environment. Yeah, definitely. And then I think there is
Speaker 1: a whole category of stuff about getting aligned with your boss.
Speaker 1: So do you have a feel for your new boss yet, Like,
Speaker 1: do you have a sense of what that relationship might
Speaker 1: be like? Yeah, it seems um, very friendly, very open. Uh.
Speaker 1: He both interviewed me with a very open and honest
Speaker 1: kind of tone and then also called me um just
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago to welcome me once I did
Speaker 1: formally accept and Um, so far seems really open, really
Speaker 1: friendly and welcoming and consider it. He seems like he'll
Speaker 1: be you know, open to working with me and and
Speaker 1: seeing how we're going to work together. So I, um,
Speaker 1: it feels good. He's really really good. Good. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so your boss may initiate this when you start. But
Speaker 1: if he doesn't, sometime during your first week, try to
Speaker 1: sit down with him and talk about what your goals
Speaker 1: should be for you, like your first month and your
Speaker 1: first six months, and ask if there are things that
Speaker 1: you should be reading or reviewing or people you should
Speaker 1: be meeting with to help you get up to speed.
Speaker 1: That is stuff that your manager should proactively take care
Speaker 1: of talking to you about, But that doesn't necessarily mean
Speaker 1: that he will be has Some managers, many managers, really
Speaker 1: are pretty bad at training and orienting people, and it
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily mean that's the sign of a bad manager.
Speaker 1: Like I think training is a whole separate skill set
Speaker 1: unto itself, and some people are pretty decent managers, but
Speaker 1: not super thoughtful trainers. So if you aren't getting this
Speaker 1: stuff flowing at you from him, don't hesitate to raise
Speaker 1: it on your own. Oh that's great. I've I've never
Speaker 1: thought of that, of sitting down and just asking, like,
Speaker 1: what do you expect of me for this particular time period,
Speaker 1: But that would be actually really helpful for me. I
Speaker 1: thrive on that kind of thing. We're having set goals
Speaker 1: is really important to me, and meeting those goals or
Speaker 1: exceeding those goals. Just it's a feel good moment for
Speaker 1: me and also shows them what I can do. I
Speaker 1: really like that idea good. Yeah, And I think there's
Speaker 1: there's this weird feeling when you're new at a job
Speaker 1: where you're just kind of floating and you're not anchored
Speaker 1: to any specific expectations yet the way that you might
Speaker 1: be six months down the road often always and it
Speaker 1: can be hard to know, like I feel really overwhelmed.
Speaker 1: Am I even doing an okay job? Am I where
Speaker 1: they would expect me to be? Or am I really
Speaker 1: messing those up? And if you have, if you've talked
Speaker 1: explicitly like Okay, here is what we are expecting from
Speaker 1: your first month, your first three months, your first six months,
Speaker 1: then you do have something to anchor those feelings against
Speaker 1: and you'll be able to tell, Okay, we talked about
Speaker 1: like I should accomplish a B, C and D in
Speaker 1: my first month, and I'm on track to do that,
Speaker 1: and it's going to take away some of that free
Speaker 1: floating anxiety that I think otherwise can be really common
Speaker 1: when you're new. Well, that sounds great. Along the same lines,
Speaker 1: don't hesitate to ask your manager questions about anything. Really,
Speaker 1: it's okay to ask what can I look at to
Speaker 1: get a better understanding of X? Or with this project
Speaker 1: that you're asking me to do, are there samples of
Speaker 1: this type of project from the past that I could
Speaker 1: look at to see how it's been approached previously? You know,
Speaker 1: really anything like that is I mean, if I were
Speaker 1: your manager and you're asked me those questions, I would
Speaker 1: be thrilled. So don't be shy about doing that. And
Speaker 1: it's also totally okay to check in with your boss
Speaker 1: and aska things are going. Like after you've been there
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks, maybe two or three weeks, you
Speaker 1: can check in with him and you can ask if
Speaker 1: there's anything he wants you doing differently, or if there
Speaker 1: are areas where he wants you to focus in more.
Speaker 1: And again, that is stuff that he should tell you proactively.
Speaker 1: But not all managers are on the ball with that
Speaker 1: kind of thing, or some just take longer to get
Speaker 1: around to it. So by you asking the question and
Speaker 1: making it clear that you really welcome feedback, you can
Speaker 1: sometimes get useful input earlier and sometimes often actually it's
Speaker 1: just gonna be, Yeah, everything is going great, you're picking
Speaker 1: up what we want you to pick up and it's
Speaker 1: really nice to have that reassurance. Oh yeah, and that's
Speaker 1: that's honestly one of the reasons that I'm leaving my
Speaker 1: current company is I never got feedback, or if I
Speaker 1: got feedback, it's really only felt negative. Um. And I
Speaker 1: think everybody wants to feel like they're doing a good
Speaker 1: job sometimes and um, so I was ready for something
Speaker 1: like that. And one of the things that sold me
Speaker 1: on my new job is, um, they actually showed me
Speaker 1: a little bit about their feedback formula and it's basically
Speaker 1: a three segment This is what you're doing, good, keep
Speaker 1: doing it. This is something that I can deal with,
Speaker 1: but like from a manager's perspective, but you could improve
Speaker 1: upon it, and these are deal breakers I need to change.
Speaker 1: And what they told me is that most people never
Speaker 1: have anything on that third part, but it's there in
Speaker 1: case we do come across that. And it was just
Speaker 1: really reassuring to see that they have a formalized standard
Speaker 1: for giving that feedback, both good and bad. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: love that because it says that they're being really intentional
Speaker 1: about making it a normal, ongoing part of their culture
Speaker 1: and it's not going to be in office hopefully, where
Speaker 1: the one time you get feedback is on your annual
Speaker 1: performance evaluation in December exactly. And I never had a
Speaker 1: performance evaluation with my old company, so super excited to
Speaker 1: have anything. You're like the only person in the world
Speaker 1: he is excited about the prospect of a pervice evaluation.
Speaker 1: That's okay. Now, I'm actually right there with you. I
Speaker 1: think they're they're really it's really helpful. Frankly, let's take
Speaker 1: a quick break here and then come back and get
Speaker 1: into your questions. You know. One other thing I would
Speaker 1: say is, and we touched on this a little bit earlier,
Speaker 1: but I want to really dry it out. Don't be
Speaker 1: shy about asking for help when you need it, because
Speaker 1: sometimes I think when people are new, they hesitate to
Speaker 1: ask for help because they worry that it'll make them
Speaker 1: look like they don't know what they're doing. But you're new,
Speaker 1: and it's normal to not know exactly what you're doing.
Speaker 1: People expect you to have questions and to need help,
Speaker 1: and frankly, it's more alarming if a new person doesn't
Speaker 1: ask any questions. And most people will be perfectly happy
Speaker 1: to answer questions for you, especially if you save them
Speaker 1: up in batches, you know, as opposed to peppering people
Speaker 1: throughout the day with them, But most people will be
Speaker 1: very open to it if you say, hey, do you
Speaker 1: have ten or fifteen minutes later this week where I
Speaker 1: could sit down with you and go over some of this. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's great. One other thing kind of on that note,
Speaker 1: you know, I know that there's another person in the
Speaker 1: group who is going to be doing the exact same
Speaker 1: work that I'm doing, and she's been doing it, of
Speaker 1: course for longer, you know, would it be okay if
Speaker 1: as I finish a part of a project or a project,
Speaker 1: you know, just say ask her, can you check this?
Speaker 1: Make sure I'm doing it right. I don't want to
Speaker 1: sound not confident, but I want to make sure before
Speaker 1: I get too far ahead that I'm not just totally
Speaker 1: screwing their system up. Yes, absolutely, I think for sure
Speaker 1: the first one or two times that you do it absolutely.
Speaker 1: Whether or not to continue doing it after the first
Speaker 1: one or two times, I think depends on how complicated
Speaker 1: and difficult the work is generally understood to be. Um, okay,
Speaker 1: But but you could ask that to you. You could say,
Speaker 1: is this the kind of thing that would make sense
Speaker 1: to have you do maybe for my first month or
Speaker 1: does it make more sense to just do it my
Speaker 1: my first one or two times? Okay, makes sense, you know,
Speaker 1: before we get into your questions. Actually, one other thought
Speaker 1: that I have that people don't always think about when
Speaker 1: they start a new job is to avoid getting drawn
Speaker 1: into office clicks or office politics. I mean, you want
Speaker 1: to be friendly to people, of course, but just have
Speaker 1: in the back of your head that you don't have
Speaker 1: all of the context yet and you can't truly understand
Speaker 1: what might be going on in a particular disagreement or
Speaker 1: a particular conflict, and you can harm your own standing
Speaker 1: if you take a side prematurely. So in your first
Speaker 1: month or so, if people try to get you to
Speaker 1: weigh in on any office conflicts, I would stay neutral.
Speaker 1: And that is especially true if you hear anyone bad
Speaker 1: mouth and your boss or bad moth in anyone really,
Speaker 1: because it could be that they're right, but maybe you're
Speaker 1: talking to the office slacker or the person with the
Speaker 1: worst judgment in the company and you don't know it
Speaker 1: yet because you're new. So I would just say avoid
Speaker 1: waiting into that kind of thing for a while. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: that makes a lot of sense. I hadn't even thought
Speaker 1: of that. All the office gossip, I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: want to deal with it. It's I think it's so
Speaker 1: easy to get ensnared into it early on because someone
Speaker 1: starts being friendly and you think, oh great, someone's being friendly,
Speaker 1: and then before you know it, you're being pulled into
Speaker 1: that kind of conversation. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be cognizant of
Speaker 1: that for sure. Well, so that is my initial monologue here.
Speaker 1: Does that all make sense? Is there anything you want
Speaker 1: to ask about there before we get into your list
Speaker 1: of questions? No? I think it's Um, it's really helpful.
Speaker 1: I Like I said, it's just been so long that
Speaker 1: I feel like I am I'm ingrained in in what
Speaker 1: I know, and now I'm going into a totally unknown
Speaker 1: situation and things have probably really changed since I last
Speaker 1: started a job. So this is really helpful for sure. Good, Okay,
Speaker 1: tell me what's on your list? Oh, this is a
Speaker 1: good one. How do I introduce myself to my new coworkers? Uh?
Speaker 1: That's the elevator talk has always been something I've really
Speaker 1: struggled with, kind of that first burst of explaining who
Speaker 1: I am. What's the best way to do that that
Speaker 1: exudes confidence but not arrogance. I that's a great question.
Speaker 1: If your office is good about this, your manager or
Speaker 1: someone else is going to do a lot of the
Speaker 1: introductions for you. But if that doesn't happen, or if
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen with everyone, it's totally okay for you
Speaker 1: to just initiate it yourself. You can literally just walk
Speaker 1: up to someone and say hi, I'm Jane Smith and
Speaker 1: I'm the new graphic designer or whatever your role is,
Speaker 1: and then you say I just wanted to introduce myself
Speaker 1: and say hi, and then you can kind of tailor
Speaker 1: it from there, Like if it's someone who you think
Speaker 1: you'll be working with pretty closely, you could say, I
Speaker 1: think we'll probably be doing a lot of work together.
Speaker 1: I'd love to sit down and talk through any upcoming
Speaker 1: projects anytime you want, or anything along those lines. But
Speaker 1: people are usually going to take it from there. They'll
Speaker 1: introduce themselves, they'll welcome you. Some people will stop there
Speaker 1: at that point. For them, the introduction is done and
Speaker 1: then they're going back to work and that's it. But
Speaker 1: other people will ask you questions like what you were
Speaker 1: doing before this or so forth, So just watch for
Speaker 1: cues from them, because you'll usually get a feel for
Speaker 1: whether someone wants extended conversation or not. If you can't tell,
Speaker 1: and it's not somewhere like the elevator where obviously they
Speaker 1: don't need to instantly turn back to their laptop, I
Speaker 1: would say, if you can't tell, assume they're busy. Say
Speaker 1: something like it was great meeting you, I'm looking forward
Speaker 1: to working with you. But generally people will be pretty
Speaker 1: friendly and will make this pretty easy for you. And
Speaker 1: if someone doesn't, I would assume that is more about them,
Speaker 1: not about you. You may have just found the office grump. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. And then on the same note, you know,
Speaker 1: is there any informational no notes like stuff that I
Speaker 1: don't need to share right away? Um? I know, you know,
Speaker 1: stuff maybe about my previous company if it were negative,
Speaker 1: it's not particularly negative. But all dead leave for or
Speaker 1: a reason or anything personal. Is there anything that I
Speaker 1: just shouldn't divold right away for some reason? I would
Speaker 1: avoid bad mouthing your old company or getting into heavy
Speaker 1: details about why you left, so like if you left
Speaker 1: because you couldn't get a raise, or your manager sucked,
Speaker 1: or your job had become horribly boring. Don't get into
Speaker 1: that stuff people. You know, people won't usually ask why
Speaker 1: you left anyway, although they might ask what drew you
Speaker 1: to this job, the new one, or the new company.
Speaker 1: And if anyone does ask why you left and you
Speaker 1: don't really want to get into it, a good answer
Speaker 1: is to just respond with why you came to this
Speaker 1: new one. Or you could just say like, oh, I've
Speaker 1: been there five years, I was ready for something new.
Speaker 1: You can't say that if you were only there you
Speaker 1: or a year or two, that would sound odd, but
Speaker 1: I think you actually were there for a while. Yeah
Speaker 1: I was yep, I was there for just over five years. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so something like you know, i've been there five years,
Speaker 1: I was excited to do something new, and this job
Speaker 1: appealed to me because of blank that works perfectly well,
Speaker 1: and other topics I would have avoid. I think the
Speaker 1: only ones are really the ones that you would avoid
Speaker 1: with like a client. So no religion, no politics, no sex,
Speaker 1: the usual off limits one but but nothing special just
Speaker 1: because you're new. Well actually, I mean a caveat that
Speaker 1: you don't want to overshare because once you've been there
Speaker 1: a while and you've formed closer relationships with some people
Speaker 1: you might find the e d talk to them in
Speaker 1: a similar way to how you talk to friends outside
Speaker 1: of work, Like you might share a little bit more
Speaker 1: about your dating life or your family, but while you're new,
Speaker 1: there's more of a danger of seeming to overshare before
Speaker 1: you've really made those connections. So I think a good
Speaker 1: litmus test is would I share this with a client
Speaker 1: who I liked and had a warm relationship with, but
Speaker 1: still had real professional boundaries up with. So be warm,
Speaker 1: be friendly, don't feel like you have to hide major
Speaker 1: things like having a spouse or having kids, But at
Speaker 1: the same time, don't get really personal until there's more
Speaker 1: of a foundation. You know people better. That's great, that's
Speaker 1: really good, that's helpful. Um, And then I know, I
Speaker 1: mentioned earlier, I will be working with one person who
Speaker 1: I think is about my age. I know she just
Speaker 1: got married and we're gonna be doing the same thing.
Speaker 1: I believe we're gonna be working a lot together. What's
Speaker 1: a great way to start off on the right foot,
Speaker 1: aside from just general niceties and don't be a jerk.
Speaker 1: Don't be a jerky is a good one. I would say,
Speaker 1: be warm and friendly toward her, but pay attention to
Speaker 1: her cues. If she is someone who is all business,
Speaker 1: she's probably not up for a long conversation about Game
Speaker 1: of Thrones, and that doesn't mean that she's being cold.
Speaker 1: She might just be focused on getting you trained because
Speaker 1: she's got other work that she has to get back to.
Speaker 1: So don't take it personally if you're not getting signs
Speaker 1: that she's open to chatting, but keep your tone warm
Speaker 1: and really pay attention to the training that she's giving you.
Speaker 1: Take notes and be engaged, because if you've ever trained anyone,
Speaker 1: you know how unsettling it is when the person you're
Speaker 1: training isn't showing any external signs that they're getting it,
Speaker 1: like taking notes or nodding or showing that it's registering.
Speaker 1: So be the opposite of that. Do take notes and
Speaker 1: do stay engaged. And that's a really good way to
Speaker 1: get on the good side of someone who's training you.
Speaker 1: I think. Um. The other thing I think is that
Speaker 1: you could ask her for her preferences for how you
Speaker 1: work together, Like you could ask her if you expect
Speaker 1: you're going to have a lot of questions for her.
Speaker 1: You could ask how she prefers you handle that. Does
Speaker 1: she want them piecemeal? As they come up, does she
Speaker 1: want you to save them up and ask them all
Speaker 1: in a bunch once a day that kind of thing,
Speaker 1: because that will show consideration for her. But really, as
Speaker 1: long as you're nice and you're paying attention, I think
Speaker 1: it should go fine. Oh that's great. That makes a
Speaker 1: lot of sense. And that's really funny too, because as
Speaker 1: I was training someone who's gonna be replacing some of
Speaker 1: my duties at my last job, he actually fell asleep.
Speaker 1: Was training him. What did I do? Um? I just
Speaker 1: kind of mudged him and reminded him that I'm not
Speaker 1: going to be here tomorrow. So so you were literally
Speaker 1: sitting there next to him talking to him and he
Speaker 1: fell asleep. Yeah, that was alarming. He's young, and yeah,
Speaker 1: he just I know, like the stuff was software stuff,
Speaker 1: so I know what's really boring. But it was just
Speaker 1: kind of like the nodding, the head nodding kind of thing.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh boy, I will say that. Years
Speaker 1: and years ago, in my early twenties, I had been
Speaker 1: in a job where I've been working from home for
Speaker 1: a couple of years, and so I got to keep
Speaker 1: my own schedule. So I am by nature and night
Speaker 1: owl and so I was working this ridiculous schedule where
Speaker 1: I would sleep until like noon, I would get up,
Speaker 1: I would work until late in the night. I was
Speaker 1: working all the hours. I was just doing them at
Speaker 1: odd times. Well, I changed positions within the organization and
Speaker 1: I had to work from the office again. And my
Speaker 1: first day in the office, it was after lunch, when,
Speaker 1: of course you're always a little sleepier. And I remember
Speaker 1: sitting in my new manager's office and she was training
Speaker 1: me just like in this situation. And I remember the
Speaker 1: horror of realizing that I was like physically struggling to
Speaker 1: keep my eyelids open and she could probably see it.
Speaker 1: It was mortifying. So hopefully this guy had the sense
Speaker 1: to be a little embarrassed by it. I made sure
Speaker 1: I wrote a lot of notes and left a lot
Speaker 1: of procedures, but it was it was interesting, for sure.
Speaker 1: So I guess maybe real number one, don't fall asleep. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean to answer your question about how to get
Speaker 1: off on a good foot with the person who's training you.
Speaker 1: I think you've had a very good example of what
Speaker 1: not to do, so I think I think so we'll
Speaker 1: pause here for a quick word from a sponsor, and
Speaker 1: then we'll come right back. What else is on your list?
Speaker 1: I think the last thing I had was just how
Speaker 1: do I get people to like me? I mean, it's um,
Speaker 1: you know, I've been with this other company for five years.
Speaker 1: I've gotten to know the people who are going to
Speaker 1: laugh at my jokes. I'm kind of a um jokester,
Speaker 1: I guess. But how do I make sure people like
Speaker 1: me or at least don't hate me? Yeah? I think
Speaker 1: it helps to think about what you have appreciated from
Speaker 1: new colleagues who were the new hires in your old company,
Speaker 1: because probably most of the time you were just hoping
Speaker 1: that they are going to be a reasonably normal, nice
Speaker 1: person without any horribly annoying habits, And so if you
Speaker 1: show that you're that, that is going to get you
Speaker 1: a lot of the way there. It does help, though,
Speaker 1: I think to make a point of getting to know people.
Speaker 1: So even if you are someone who normally wouldn't spend
Speaker 1: a lot of time socializing with co workers, I think
Speaker 1: during your first month or two it's helpful to put
Speaker 1: in the effort to do it. Even if you're not
Speaker 1: going to keep it up, doing it at the beginning
Speaker 1: can help. And so that just means stuff like asking
Speaker 1: a co worker to get coffee with you or to
Speaker 1: grab lunch, And if you feel weird about doing that
Speaker 1: as a purely social overture, you can make it about work,
Speaker 1: like you could say, hey, I'd love to learn more
Speaker 1: about the work that you do, or you know, would
Speaker 1: you want to grab coffee and talk to me about
Speaker 1: project X, Y and Z, or even more low key.
Speaker 1: If you're not up for that, you can even just
Speaker 1: ask people advice for things like where to get lunch
Speaker 1: near the office, or where there's a good dry cleaners,
Speaker 1: or people love to be asked for advice. And actually,
Speaker 1: this is really interesting. There is research that shows that
Speaker 1: when someone is helpful to you or does you a favor,
Speaker 1: they actually like you more afterward. Really yeah, which is
Speaker 1: pretty interesting. So ask for advice and allegedly, according to science,
Speaker 1: that will help people feel warm and fuzzy thoughts towards you.
Speaker 1: Oh I like science. Yeah, awesome, Yeah, that's that's really
Speaker 1: helpful And that makes a lot of sense. I mean,
Speaker 1: I I'm naturally a helpful person. I like to help
Speaker 1: other people too, So that does write a line with
Speaker 1: kind of what I want to be doing and and
Speaker 1: how I want to be connecting with people. So that's great.
Speaker 1: That makes a lot of sense. You know, I am
Speaker 1: someone who likes obviously to give advice um and and
Speaker 1: likes to be helpful, and I can actually see it.
Speaker 1: I can see that at work. Like I when someone
Speaker 1: takes the time to ask me for my opinion and
Speaker 1: I take the time to give them advice and return,
Speaker 1: I do feel good towards them. I feel like, oh,
Speaker 1: they respected me enough to ask for my opinion, and
Speaker 1: now we've sort of had this thing that we connected
Speaker 1: over and I do have warm thoughts toward them afterward. Yes,
Speaker 1: let's see other stuff, you know, low key stuff. Ask
Speaker 1: about people's weekends, ask about the photos they have on
Speaker 1: their desks, pick up on any mentions of common interests.
Speaker 1: You know. One other thing to actually figure out if
Speaker 1: there is a connector type in your office, like the
Speaker 1: person who is the office social director, who's friendly with
Speaker 1: everyone and always seems to be involved when anyone is
Speaker 1: making plans. Make them one of the first people on
Speaker 1: your list to ask the coffee because if you connect
Speaker 1: with that person, that can be sort of an entry
Speaker 1: point to other people too. And sometimes if you mentioned
Speaker 1: to that person that you are eager to get to
Speaker 1: know other people that are they will kind of take
Speaker 1: you under their wing and help you do it. So
Speaker 1: if you spot someone like that, make a point of
Speaker 1: making an overture towards them. Well interesting, Yeah, that hannut
Speaker 1: that there's always somebody who's kind of the the connector
Speaker 1: that per person who puts everybody together. That makes a
Speaker 1: lot of sense to yeah, target that person. Okay, I
Speaker 1: can do that. You know, one thing we haven't talked about,
Speaker 1: and maybe it's not a question that you have, but
Speaker 1: the question of what to wear on your first day?
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you're set there in terms of
Speaker 1: how dressed up to be? That is, um, that is
Speaker 1: a perfect question that I have agonized over my office
Speaker 1: for several years now. Has been casual and low key,
Speaker 1: to the point of, you know, jeans and a sweatshirt
Speaker 1: are perfectly appropriate, and so yeah, I actually went on
Speaker 1: a bit of a shopping spree and but all new
Speaker 1: you know, business casual slacks and nice tops or dresses,
Speaker 1: sweater dresses. It's Minnesota, so it's um a little cooler
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. But is there something that's most
Speaker 1: appropriate for your first day of work? Kind of where
Speaker 1: so your sense from being there for your interview, is
Speaker 1: that their business casual as opposed to like formal business. Definitely. Definitely,
Speaker 1: the the men um the senior level men were all
Speaker 1: in suits mostly, and the women who are going to
Speaker 1: be kind of on my level, we're all wearing, you know,
Speaker 1: slacks and a nice shirt scar for something like that.
Speaker 1: So definitely more business casual, not very formal, but not
Speaker 1: the jeans and sweatshirts that I'm used to. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: is a real change. Yeah, I think for your first day,
Speaker 1: I might go just a very slight bit more formal
Speaker 1: than you all the rest of the time. But like
Speaker 1: if you would normally wear like nice pants and a
Speaker 1: nice top, I might just fancy it up a little bit.
Speaker 1: Like if you're someone who wears skirts, maybe you wear
Speaker 1: a skirt that day. Maybe you just wear the nicest
Speaker 1: of the new outfits that you've bought, Like just like
Speaker 1: a fraction of a tad, nicer fraction of a tad.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a unit of measurement, but
Speaker 1: I've made it one. Um, like just a little bit
Speaker 1: more formal than what you're going to wear the rest
Speaker 1: of the time. But it sounds like you have a
Speaker 1: good feel for what people in the office are wearing,
Speaker 1: and you've already assembled the clothes that you need to
Speaker 1: to do that. Yeah, I think so. I mean, I
Speaker 1: didn't see everyone, but I just see the people who
Speaker 1: I would be mostly working with, And it's kind of
Speaker 1: hard to gauge as a woman, knowing that you know
Speaker 1: your superiors. The two senior people above me are men,
Speaker 1: and they were both wearing suits when I'm up with them.
Speaker 1: But the woman who I'm going to be working with,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking I kind of tried to match her style,
Speaker 1: so whatever she was going with, I bought all of
Speaker 1: that and that's smart. Um, And I wondered during the
Speaker 1: hiring process, did you happen to interact with anyone who
Speaker 1: was a woman, like anyone in recruiting or were you
Speaker 1: only dealing with men just the woman who I was
Speaker 1: going to be working with directly. I had email and
Speaker 1: phone conversations with the HR representatives who were women, But
Speaker 1: aside from that, the only one I met is the
Speaker 1: person that I'm actually gonna be working with. Okay, because
Speaker 1: if you wanted to, you could email. Even the HR
Speaker 1: person who you only talked to on the phone, you
Speaker 1: could email her or you could email the coworker who
Speaker 1: who you did meet, and you could just say hey,
Speaker 1: from being there. My sense of the dress code is
Speaker 1: that it's this, but I just want to run that
Speaker 1: by you and make sure that that's right. But that's
Speaker 1: only if you really feel like you don't know. If
Speaker 1: if you're pretty confident that you know what it is,
Speaker 1: then I think you're fine going with that. I'm pretty comfortable,
Speaker 1: but that that is a good point. Um, And the
Speaker 1: people in HR were very approachable and easy to call
Speaker 1: and easy to talk to, so that that I could
Speaker 1: do as well. That makes sense, And they get that
Speaker 1: question all the time, so that's not going to seem weird. Okay, good,
Speaker 1: that's good. Anything else that you're wondering about, I don't
Speaker 1: think so. I mean, I start in four days and
Speaker 1: I'm um, I'm less nervous now. I've finished up my
Speaker 1: past job, so I'm kind of just wrapping up. I've
Speaker 1: got a couple of days off here, so I'm ready
Speaker 1: and we're in a go and this has been super helpful.
Speaker 1: I feel much more at ease about starting to meet
Speaker 1: new people. I'm a little bit anxious when I meet
Speaker 1: new people at first, but this has been really helpful. Good.
Speaker 1: I think it'll good. Great. Well, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for coming on. Yes, thank you, Alison, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the Asking Manager Podcast. If you'd
Speaker 1: like to come on the show to talk through your
Speaker 1: own question, email it to podcast at Asking Manager dot org,
Speaker 1: or you can leave a recording of your question by
Speaker 1: calling eight five five six work. That's eight five ft
Speaker 1: six nine seven five. You can get more ask a
Speaker 1: Manager at ask a Manager dot org or in my
Speaker 1: book Ask a Manager How to navigate clueless colleagues, lunch
Speaker 1: stealing bosses, and the rest of your life at work.
Speaker 1: The Ask a Manager Show is a partnership with How
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Speaker 1: I'm Alison Green and I'll be back next week with
Speaker 1: another one of your questions.