WEBVTT - Ep. 158 — Fertility Chronicles & Credit Repair 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:20.560 Hey, hey, Hey, it's up. 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:23.760 I sound way more cheerful than I feel. I feel 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:24.720 so run down. 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:29.800 It's that mid January, holidays are over. What's the lead 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:32.360 to look forward to in life? Still getting dark at 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:35.880 four pm and it's negative million degrees type of vibe? 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:36.800 Is that what I'm feeling? 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:37.800 Yes? 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:41.640 Plus taxis it's coming. I paid taxes today and I 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:43.680 was like, wait what. I had a big scare, but 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:45.240 then turned I didn't know as much as I thought, 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:47.720 but still it's like I can't even shake that big scare. 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:49.920 It's almost like, you know, you think there's like a 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:52.239 monster in your closet and your parents turns on the light. 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:54.840 It's like there's no monster, but you're still looking at 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:59.720 the clost like there was a monster. I just feel like, ah, 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:01.240 I feel you. 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:03.360 I know, it's just uh. 0:01:03.400 --> 0:01:07.240 And then I started my IVS, so I feel like 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:09.160 I'm on an emotional roller coaster. 0:01:10.000 --> 0:01:11.880 But it took me a while to realize. I'm like, 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:12.920 why am I so wild? 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:16.000 Because you're being pumped full of hormones? 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:19.880 Right? Yes, it took me a minute to realize until 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:21.960 until Superman was like, what is your deal? 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:27.360 I'm like nothing, nothing, And then I was like, wait, 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.280 isn't the shots? And I was reading he was like, 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:34.399 I'm pretty sure it's the shots. So yeah, so I 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:35.959 was first of all, I was scared to death because 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:38.520 I'm not scared of needles, like but I mean, no 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:40.400 one says, yeah, a needle, right. 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.760 I mean you know, unless you know, I don't know, unless. 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:46.160 You're I did when I got milkshakes afterward, but no 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:47.240 one gives me those anymore. 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:51.440 But like, so the way it works is that they 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:53.440 have me on like these two types of medicine, so 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:55.400 I have to take you have to be a chemist. 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:56.080 I'm like, oh my god. 0:01:56.080 --> 0:01:57.760 I was so nervous about the first one. I actually 0:01:58.200 --> 0:02:00.760 drove to the doctor's office early morning to just do 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:02.440 it in front of them, because you have to like 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:06.360 mix the sailing mixture with just four vials of powder, 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:10.720 like mix it yourself, wait really yes, and then pull 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:13.000 it out like I mean you literally are like a chemist. 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:15.080 And then after all of that, then you have to 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:18.359 poke yourself. And so it was I'm not gonna lie. 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:20.640 Every morning I get a little bit of anxiety about 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:23.040 doing the mixture right and then and then at night 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:26.000 it's really easy, like the I guess whatever the medicine 0:02:26.000 --> 0:02:29.000 is like almost like in a pen pen form, so 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:30.800 literally just kind of like put the pen against your 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:35.640 stomach and push your medicine in the needles self actually 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:37.280 doesn't really hurt. I would say on the scale of 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:40.400 one to ten, it's a two. But just the fact 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:42.160 of like you know, sticking a needle in your belly, 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:43.920 it's like, yay, not fun. 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:47.040 Times kind of goes against that base human instincts not 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:48.280 to impale oneself. 0:02:49.040 --> 0:02:53.760 So yeah, but but yeah, so we'll see. So I 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:56.440 guess from what I understand, which I probably should know more, 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:59.800 but honestly, I just I'm tired that I think what 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:05.080 this medicine is doing is actually lowering my hormones on purpose. 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:08.560 So basically this medicine is pulling the rubber band back. 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:11.760 And then I'm gonna take a slingshot medicine like you know, 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:12.440 like I don't. 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:15.320 Know, like I don't know a week where it's actually. 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:17.359 Gonna like pop me forward, like you know, you let 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:19.960 go of the yeah and then all of a sudden 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:22.760 like because normally, as a woman, you know, you produce 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:25.519 one egg a month, so the pop forward is to say. 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:29.519 Ovulate and then hopefully you produce a ton of eggs. 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:32.000 You know, I don't know anywhere from I don't know 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:34.600 more than one to like ten fifteen. 0:03:34.600 --> 0:03:35.920 I don't know how many women can produce. 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:38.600 So then from those eggs, so you know, at least 0:03:38.600 --> 0:03:40.720 for me, they'll you know, they'll teak the eggs out, 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:45.080 you know, combine it with Superman his sperm, and then 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:49.720 like hopefully embryos grow, and then they'll choose you know, 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:53.360 up to two healthy embryos, because you still have the 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:56.520 there's still a chance that one of them is not 0:03:56.520 --> 0:03:58.760 gonna make it, and they'll put two inside. Well, she's 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:01.680 gonna put two, and then it may be twins, it 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:02.000 may not. 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:04.800 You're gonna go for two, Okay. 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:07.520 Well she said, well not because she was like, honestly, 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:09.000 I'm not trying to for it's not for you to 0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:12.040 have twins. It's just that there's a there's always a 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.240 high likelihood of one not making it. So it's really 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:17.120 so you can be guaranteed, like, you know, not guaranteed, 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:19.160 but you have a you know, a higher chance of 0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:19.960 one making it. 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:22.240 But I don't hope it for twins, even though I'm 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:22.600 kind of. 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:24.880 Not Oh my god, yeah, we're gonna have to cancel 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:27.480 the show. If you have twins, I know you're gonna 0:04:27.560 --> 0:04:27.920 do that. 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:31.159 I'm gonna have to take like a month because not 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:32.119 even a month month. 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:36.919 Okay, we'll cross that bridge it comes to. 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:42.400 And then from there so I don't know, I mean 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:45.279 so what So typically what happens is so you go 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:47.679 through the cycle of like shot shot shots, fulling shot, 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:51.200 pull the eggs, you know, mix it with with with 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:55.679 your partner's sperm, grow, grow, grow embryos, put one inside, 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:56.480 hope it grows. 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:59.920 If it doesn't, then you start all over. Shot shot shot. 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:02.400 So some people are like on their fifth or six, seventh, 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:03.400 tenth cycle, you know. 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:05.680 That's what they consider like a round of ibs. It's 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:08.760 from the hormones to the insemination and then like the 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:10.240 incubating of the embryos. 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:13.000 Yeah for the most part, and so and then if 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:14.160 it you know, if it doesn't, then you. 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:16.039 Go for another round. So that's a full round. 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:18.240 So this is my very So those of you who 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:19.920 have been following my journey, you're like, you're just now 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:22.880 getting to it. Yes, I had fibroids, and then I 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:25.320 had so many that they removed them. It's called scar 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:27.560 tissue and I had to have two surgeries to move that, 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:30.240 and it was just all of this this full year 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:32.640 and some change. But I think I had my fibward 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:35.479 search I want to say, like January, which like actually 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:37.440 right like right about now, January twenty fifth, I think, 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:40.239 And and now it's January twenty second, so literally almost 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:40.960 a year to date. 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:42.120 So it took a. 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:46.680 Year of like preparing my uterus for to be able 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:49.279 to carry babies. So that's why I'm just now getting 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:50.719 because most people don't have to go through all this, 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:52.880 like if they're getting IBF, they might not have a 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:55.359 fiber issue, so they just kind of go and start 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:55.880 the process. 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:57.960 But it's been a long time of preparation for me. 0:05:58.640 --> 0:06:01.479 Man weill fingers no, and. 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:02.159 Who would have thought. 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:04.880 Meanwhile, you know, and when you're young, you're like, oh, 0:06:04.920 --> 0:06:06.560 please don't be PREGGI good, Please do't get pressure plae 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:09.760 to get pregnant. Meanwhile, now it's like you bending over 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:13.839 backwards doing hulu oups, you know. 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:17.840 To get pregnant. It's so strange how life happens, because you. 0:06:17.760 --> 0:06:20.080 Know, you could be fifteen and you're like, no, I 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:22.600 just looked at a penis and now I'm pregnant and 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:25.120 as a thirty nine year old woman, I'm like, please 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:29.400 come on, overes. So yeah, I mean, like I said, 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:32.320 it's I didn't realize it's not until you start talking 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:35.520 about IVA that you find out just how many women. 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:37.640 My doctor told me that that it. 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:45.800 Concerns the fertility industry that how how our fertility men 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:50.479 and women has significantly dropped over the years, that it's much, yeah, 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:53.719 much lower. Like there's a trend of it just going down, down, down, 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:55.000 And I'm like, wow, why do you think that is? 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:55.680 She was like, I don't know. 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:58.480 Honestly, they don't know is it's stress, is a diet. 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:01.440 They don't know why less and less women are fertile 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:03.200 and less and less men honestly are fertile. 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.599 Because that's interesting, Like that's the first time I've heard 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:08.960 fertility being down, because you hear like birth spain down, 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:11.720 which I think is a symptom of just people getting 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:13.760 married older and not wanting kids, in the economy and 0:07:13.800 --> 0:07:16.240 all kinds of stuff. But fertility, Wait, are we are 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.600 we actually gonna be end up in the Handmaid's tail? 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:19.640 No? 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:24.720 Right, She was like, honestly, that you know that there's 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:27.600 an overall fertility issue happening. And I don't know if 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:31.040 she met in the United States or like worldwide, but yeah, 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:32.920 so she was like, you know, more and more folks 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:35.680 that you wouldn't expect to have, you know, a fertility 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:37.720 issue are She's like, like, you two, like, I don't drink. 0:07:37.760 --> 0:07:40.200 I've never had. I don't smoke, I never have. You know, 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:43.400 I exercised fairly, you know, I mean, well, let me 0:07:43.440 --> 0:07:48.000 not lie. I don't but I don't drink it, I 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:52.800 don't smoke, okay, but but yeah, so you know, I 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:53.160 don't know. 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:55.320 I just feel I'm not gonna lie. 0:07:55.520 --> 0:08:00.920 I am scared because I'm feeling overwhelmed by business right now, 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:04.160 and I'm like, oh, how does the baby fitness all this? 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:07.480 Well I'm doing when you've got two of them in 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:10.120 your arms, you just make room. You'll you'll do it. 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:14.040 You're not the first working mom. You can do it. 0:08:14.160 --> 0:08:16.360 You can do it. You'll find a way. Yeah, you'll 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:16.640 find me. 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:19.960 Williams can win a Grand Slam and have a baby. 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:23.080 Well, I mean, that's just don't compare yourself to her, 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:26.720 because she seriously she's got Beyonce's nanny on speed dial. 0:08:26.920 --> 0:08:27.520 That's different. 0:08:27.520 --> 0:08:28.440 Sure, but you. 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:31.000 Really, You've made me think about my own fertility. I 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:33.760 need to you guys know, I need to see some 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:36.520 doctors in my life. But I'm really it's not like 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:39.160 it's an immediate plan, but I'm definitely i'd rather know 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:41.800 now so I can because you know, I'm thirty one 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:45.480 right now, and I feel like I'm at a point 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:47.719 where I should at least see what's happening under the 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:49.880 hood a little bit more than I have. It's been Yeah, 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:52.720 it's been over a year since I went back to 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:56.200 the gynecologist. So that's not healthy. I'm going to do better. 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:56.720 It's good. 0:08:57.160 --> 0:08:58.520 Like, you know, you don't want to find out you 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:02.760 have fibroids from randomly like wait what and so or 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:04.520 not you. But I'm just saying in general, like I 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:07.520 never I never thought about checking my fertility, you know, 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:11.160 like you just you know, as a woman, you just assume, like, well, 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:13.520 of course I could have a baby, it's just whether 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:15.440 or not do I want to or not. But I 0:09:15.559 --> 0:09:17.840 never thought because I'm like, I'm one of five girls, 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.040 you know, Like I was like, uh, I come from 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:22.400 a fertile family, like my grandma had like you know, 0:09:22.920 --> 0:09:26.080 eight children or whatever, and so but that's not you know, 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:28.720 one she didn't have them as late as I'm having 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:33.000 my first, you know, so it sometimes there's a fertility 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:37.400 issue that only that only comes up if you wait. 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:40.200 So like my my younger sister, she had two kids 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:42.880 boom boom, you know, back to but like like she 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:45.520 got married and literally within a year had her first 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:47.600 and then a year later had her second. But she 0:09:47.720 --> 0:09:50.840 also had them in her like in her early thirties. 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:53.200 So maybe if I would have, you know, had my 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:55.760 first kid at thirty, it wouldn't I wouldn't have had 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:56.360 an issue. 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:59.400 So but yeah, so it's just good to. 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:01.120 Know where you stay and like going if you're thinking 0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:02.560 that you might want to have kids in the future. 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:04.760 Because honestly, my doctor was like. 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:09.360 Uh, Tiffany, you know, like you like, she was like, 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:11.800 you should have been here yesterday. I was like, oh, thanks, 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:13.959 because apparently I guess what is it called? 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:15.120 Is it called follicles? 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:18.160 That's a word, but how are you using it? 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:22.440 I know, I'm like, there are I think, don't quote me. 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:26.960 So anyway, like inside, like I guess attached to your 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:29.840 you TuS, I want to say. 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:30.560 I'm probably wrong, but. 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:35.800 Right, So women have a number of follicles, So I 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:37.640 think you can have like I don't know how many 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:40.360 you can have on each side, you know, but each 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:42.800 of those fonnicles produces an egg. But some women have 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:46.600 like ten, you know. And so for me, I'm down 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:49.040 to four. If you don't have any follicles, you cannot 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:52.040 produce any egg, then you are truly you're truly not fertile. 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:53.360 No more eggs. 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:55.240 And so when I was like wow, when she said 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:56.240 I was down the four, I didn't know if I 0:10:56.320 --> 0:10:58.800 was like, okay, so four compared to what And she 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:00.360 was like, you know, I would have to go to 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:03.040 see like the most women have. But she said, for example, 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:05.600 women can have ten, and I was like okay. And 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:09.120 for my age, although I'm thirty nine. At thirty nine, 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:11.720 I guess a typical thirty nine year old would have 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:14.080 more than four. So I don't know why it could 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:17.160 be hereditary. It could be, but see, like I wish 0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:18.679 if I would have known, I mean, I don't know 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:20.600 that I would have been like, hey, Superman, let's get 0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:21.280 this baby pop in. 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:23.400 I don't know what I would have sided. 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:27.040 But let's just say I waited another two years, you know, 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:30.640 and I lost two more follicles. You know, I don't 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:32.840 know if I was born with a lot a little 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:35.800 because I've never checked my follicles or whatever before. So 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:38.320 when she said that, I was like wow. So basically, 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:41.160 for me, time is of the essence. You know, men 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:42.800 can have like kids until they're like, you know, one 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:43.480 hundred and one. 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:45.240 But how do you mean? 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:47.640 Oh, sorry to interrupt, but I was going to ask 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:49.680 how do you? And I wonder if other women listening 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:52.800 have the same fear. But I've had friends, you've had miscarriages, 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:55.240 and I almost feel like preparing to have a kid 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:57.680 is also like mentally preparing for what can go wrong. 0:11:57.840 --> 0:11:59.880 I mean, I'm a natural pessimist and it's not always 0:11:59.880 --> 0:12:02.200 a good thing, but I wonder if that's crossed your mind, 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:04.079 and if you have like a plan for how you 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.560 might handle it, or if your doctor has talked about 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:08.360 that possibility at all. 0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:09.240 Well. 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:11.520 I haven't mentioned this before, but actually I had a 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:13.840 miscarriage a year ago. That's how I found out that 0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:18.240 I had five words, and so it was like it 0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:20.520 was only I was only like two months in two 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.600 and a half, so I knew I was having like 0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:27.120 crazy pains. It was like Superman and I had just 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:30.120 gotten married. Not even it wasn't a year ago, it 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:32.440 was you know, no, no, it was because I had 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:35.280 the five words surgery not that long after, but I 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:36.640 found out I was pregnant. 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:40.439 I was like, what, Okay, it's good. 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:45.440 But then like soon after, like you know, only like 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:48.600 like a month or two in, I just was having 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:53.240 like really terrible stomach pains and it was like, I 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:55.920 don't know, I felt like I was getting kicked in 0:12:55.960 --> 0:13:02.280 the stomach, and so I went to the emergency room and. 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:03.280 And she was like, uh, are you shying? You're pregnant. 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:04.880 I'm like, well, I took like a number of test 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:07.640 I had so many five boards they couldn't even see. 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:11.160 And I didn't even know that I had five words. 0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:14.400 And I was like what And I lost the baby 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:16.360 and I was I mean, it was like a mix 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:19.280 between like I don't want to I felt like I 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:22.880 felt it more after than during, because I was more shocked, 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:26.240 like I have five woids, you know, and so but he. 0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:31.560 Oh, I'm sorry, that's my IVF shot reminder. 0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:34.120 Okay, I'm keeping that in you. 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:40.559 So, so what I what I learned was like I 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:43.679 had so many five woords so here's the thing that 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:47.840 even it was better for me to have had that mischaracter, 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:50.040 like you know, I was like, like I said, a 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:53.880 little under three months because my all the five boids 0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:56.920 combined were like the size of me being like four 0:13:56.960 --> 0:14:00.280 months pregnant, meaning that that those fibers are taking so 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:02.520 much space the baby would not have been able to 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:06.360 grow past six months, like as far as size, you know, 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:11.920 So imagine having a miscaracter at six months, you know. 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:16.040 So that's what I found out, and so of course 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:18.520 I right away it was like, well I want to 0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:19.080 get rid of them. 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:21.120 I mean, there's all these natural remedies and things that 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:23.440 you can you could try, but I was like I 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:26.080 didn't want to wait like two years for something to work, 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:27.920 and so you know, I decided to have the five 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:31.200 word surgery. It actually went really really well. I had 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:34.240 a really good doctor. My recovery was I mean, I 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:36.200 thought everyone's five word surgery was kind of like that. 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:38.120 And so a number of my friends had it after me, 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:41.120 and they didn't have as their. 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:43.360 Recovery was much harder. For My recovery was really. 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:45.320 Like after a couple of days, I felt like almost 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:47.520 myself again. I had to remind myself you have stitches 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:50.360 like sit, you know, settle down. So the surgery was fine, 0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:53.320 but then I kept getting the scar tissue because I 0:14:53.320 --> 0:14:57.280 had so many fibers removed. And so finally I think 0:14:57.360 --> 0:14:59.840 I mentioned like in a previous episode they had to 0:14:59.840 --> 0:15:03.080 put with that the iud into me like the thing 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:05.520 that you normally put in with Yeah, just basically the 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.480 whole by us open. And also I didn't realize and 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:11.720 so I recently spoke to my doctor to release medicine 0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:15.000 so the five boids wouldn't grow back, because you know, 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:17.120 five boards are not something that you can you can 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:19.400 remove them, but they can come back. And since she 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:21.040 knew I was gonna be recovering for a long time, 0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:24.120 I could a year later be back with five boids. 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:25.360 So I don't have five boys and out. 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:25.800 Thank god. 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:28.920 I just got checked maybe like a week ago. But yeah, 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:31.200 so now that's why for me, time is really of 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:34.960 the essence. It's like Tiffany now, like everything has to 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:36.280 be on hold. If you want to have a kid, 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:39.600 you basically have to, you know, do it now. And 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:42.960 so yeah, it's so, I mean, I can't say I'm 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:48.040 prepared for a miscarag but I know that it's possible, 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:50.400 and I don't know. I know people who are like 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:53.160 on cycle seven. I don't know what that must feel like, 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:55.800 where you try again and you. 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:57.240 You know, you go again and put the embrys. I 0:15:57.280 --> 0:15:58.240 don't know what that must feel like. 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:00.000 So I just you know, one cycle at a time, 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:04.040 and you know, prayerfully that this is my this is it. 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:05.240 You know, I do this cycle. 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:08.200 It takes really well, and I don't have to do 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:09.800 it like, you know, again and again. That's why I'm 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:11.560 kind of hoping for twins because I'm not gonna lie. 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:13.720 I do not want to go through this process again. 0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:16.080 And I think I really would like to have like 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:19.120 more than one kid because we have Supergirl, but she's twelve, 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:22.400 and I feel like there's nothing like growing up with 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:26.040 a sibling close in age. Yeah, and so I would like, 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:28.360 you know, if I have the opportunity, I want to 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:30.080 give that, you know, to my child because they'll have 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:32.680 a sister. But you know, I know, like Lisa, I 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:34.760 was nine when my baby sister, Lisa was born, so 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:36.000 I was like, I'm an adult. 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:38.600 You know, we didn't actually grow up playing together, you know. 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:45.680 Yeah, I mean Supergirl's a lost cause anyway. 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:46.800 She is ready supergirls, like bring the baby. 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:49.920 Home for now, for now. You know when she when 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:53.440 when you came home his wife, she reacted so well 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:53.720 to that. 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:57.840 No, I know, yeah yeah, but yeah, so I mean. 0:16:57.920 --> 0:16:59.720 Wait, do you need to do you need to go 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:01.320 take shot or something? I heard that job. 0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:03.440 No, I have, like I put it, you have a 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:06.159 two hour window, so I have plenty. Okay, yeah, but 0:17:06.200 --> 0:17:07.840 I'm like, yeah, whenever I hear it, I'm. 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:11.240 Like, no, no more shot. It's something else being a woman, 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:11.679 I tell you. 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:14.800 Listen. I was just complaining to my husband, like I 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:17.320 haven't talked to my mother in law since Christmas. And 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:19.600 I was adding, you know, a week after Christmas. I 0:17:19.600 --> 0:17:21.240 was like, well it's been a week. And now I'm 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:23.439 thinking it's been a month and I haven't called her. 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:25.600 And I was just like, man, you know, do you 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:28.000 feel guilty for not talking to my dad or my mom? 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:31.160 And am I? And He's like, what, I don't think 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:33.160 he even texts either of them, Like, no one, there's 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:36.520 no expectation for him to visit them or call them. 0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:38.359 And I'm like, do you see what's happening here? Like 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:41.199 I'm actually stressed out, and she's mad at me for 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:44.280 not communicating more. And it's just like such a double standard. 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:47.359 So I know that's it's different than you know, the 0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:49.480 fertility things, but yes, it is something being a woman. 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:52.240 There's just such it's just such a different game, such 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:54.800 a different game because. 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:56.760