Speaker 1: Hey, hey, Hey, it's up.
Speaker 2: I sound way more cheerful than I feel. I feel
Speaker 2: so run down.
Speaker 3: It's that mid January, holidays are over. What's the lead
Speaker 3: to look forward to in life? Still getting dark at
Speaker 3: four pm and it's negative million degrees type of vibe?
Speaker 3: Is that what I'm feeling?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Plus taxis it's coming. I paid taxes today and I
Speaker 2: was like, wait what. I had a big scare, but
Speaker 2: then turned I didn't know as much as I thought,
Speaker 2: but still it's like I can't even shake that big scare.
Speaker 2: It's almost like, you know, you think there's like a
Speaker 2: monster in your closet and your parents turns on the light.
Speaker 2: It's like there's no monster, but you're still looking at
Speaker 2: the clost like there was a monster. I just feel like, ah,
Speaker 2: I feel you.
Speaker 1: I know, it's just uh.
Speaker 2: And then I started my IVS, so I feel like
Speaker 2: I'm on an emotional roller coaster.
Speaker 1: But it took me a while to realize. I'm like,
Speaker 1: why am I so wild?
Speaker 3: Because you're being pumped full of hormones?
Speaker 1: Right? Yes, it took me a minute to realize until
Speaker 1: until Superman was like, what is your deal?
Speaker 2: I'm like nothing, nothing, And then I was like, wait,
Speaker 2: isn't the shots? And I was reading he was like,
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure it's the shots. So yeah, so I
Speaker 2: was first of all, I was scared to death because
Speaker 2: I'm not scared of needles, like but I mean, no
Speaker 2: one says, yeah, a needle, right.
Speaker 1: I mean you know, unless you know, I don't know, unless.
Speaker 3: You're I did when I got milkshakes afterward, but no
Speaker 3: one gives me those anymore.
Speaker 2: But like, so the way it works is that they
Speaker 2: have me on like these two types of medicine, so
Speaker 2: I have to take you have to be a chemist.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: I was so nervous about the first one. I actually
Speaker 2: drove to the doctor's office early morning to just do
Speaker 2: it in front of them, because you have to like
Speaker 2: mix the sailing mixture with just four vials of powder,
Speaker 2: like mix it yourself, wait really yes, and then pull
Speaker 2: it out like I mean you literally are like a chemist.
Speaker 2: And then after all of that, then you have to
Speaker 2: poke yourself. And so it was I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: Every morning I get a little bit of anxiety about
Speaker 2: doing the mixture right and then and then at night
Speaker 2: it's really easy, like the I guess whatever the medicine
Speaker 2: is like almost like in a pen pen form, so
Speaker 2: literally just kind of like put the pen against your
Speaker 2: stomach and push your medicine in the needles self actually
Speaker 2: doesn't really hurt. I would say on the scale of
Speaker 2: one to ten, it's a two. But just the fact
Speaker 2: of like you know, sticking a needle in your belly,
Speaker 2: it's like, yay, not fun.
Speaker 3: Times kind of goes against that base human instincts not
Speaker 3: to impale oneself.
Speaker 2: So yeah, but but yeah, so we'll see. So I
Speaker 2: guess from what I understand, which I probably should know more,
Speaker 2: but honestly, I just I'm tired that I think what
Speaker 2: this medicine is doing is actually lowering my hormones on purpose.
Speaker 2: So basically this medicine is pulling the rubber band back.
Speaker 2: And then I'm gonna take a slingshot medicine like you know,
Speaker 2: like I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, like I don't know a week where it's actually.
Speaker 2: Gonna like pop me forward, like you know, you let
Speaker 2: go of the yeah and then all of a sudden
Speaker 2: like because normally, as a woman, you know, you produce
Speaker 2: one egg a month, so the pop forward is to say.
Speaker 1: Ovulate and then hopefully you produce a ton of eggs.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know anywhere from I don't know
Speaker 2: more than one to like ten fifteen.
Speaker 1: I don't know how many women can produce.
Speaker 2: So then from those eggs, so you know, at least
Speaker 2: for me, they'll you know, they'll teak the eggs out,
Speaker 2: you know, combine it with Superman his sperm, and then
Speaker 2: like hopefully embryos grow, and then they'll choose you know,
Speaker 2: up to two healthy embryos, because you still have the
Speaker 2: there's still a chance that one of them is not
Speaker 2: gonna make it, and they'll put two inside. Well, she's
Speaker 2: gonna put two, and then it may be twins, it
Speaker 2: may not.
Speaker 3: You're gonna go for two, Okay.
Speaker 2: Well she said, well not because she was like, honestly,
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to for it's not for you to
Speaker 2: have twins. It's just that there's a there's always a
Speaker 2: high likelihood of one not making it. So it's really
Speaker 2: so you can be guaranteed, like, you know, not guaranteed,
Speaker 2: but you have a you know, a higher chance of
Speaker 2: one making it.
Speaker 1: But I don't hope it for twins, even though I'm
Speaker 1: kind of.
Speaker 3: Not Oh my god, yeah, we're gonna have to cancel
Speaker 3: the show. If you have twins, I know you're gonna
Speaker 3: do that.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to take like a month because not
Speaker 2: even a month month.
Speaker 3: Okay, we'll cross that bridge it comes to.
Speaker 2: And then from there so I don't know, I mean
Speaker 2: so what So typically what happens is so you go
Speaker 2: through the cycle of like shot shot shots, fulling shot,
Speaker 2: pull the eggs, you know, mix it with with with
Speaker 2: your partner's sperm, grow, grow, grow embryos, put one inside,
Speaker 2: hope it grows.
Speaker 1: If it doesn't, then you start all over. Shot shot shot.
Speaker 1: So some people are like on their fifth or six, seventh,
Speaker 1: tenth cycle, you know.
Speaker 3: That's what they consider like a round of ibs. It's
Speaker 3: from the hormones to the insemination and then like the
Speaker 3: incubating of the embryos.
Speaker 2: Yeah for the most part, and so and then if
Speaker 2: it you know, if it doesn't, then you.
Speaker 1: Go for another round. So that's a full round.
Speaker 2: So this is my very So those of you who
Speaker 2: have been following my journey, you're like, you're just now
Speaker 2: getting to it. Yes, I had fibroids, and then I
Speaker 2: had so many that they removed them. It's called scar
Speaker 2: tissue and I had to have two surgeries to move that,
Speaker 2: and it was just all of this this full year
Speaker 2: and some change. But I think I had my fibward
Speaker 2: search I want to say, like January, which like actually
Speaker 2: right like right about now, January twenty fifth, I think,
Speaker 2: And and now it's January twenty second, so literally almost
Speaker 2: a year to date.
Speaker 1: So it took a.
Speaker 2: Year of like preparing my uterus for to be able
Speaker 2: to carry babies. So that's why I'm just now getting
Speaker 2: because most people don't have to go through all this,
Speaker 2: like if they're getting IBF, they might not have a
Speaker 2: fiber issue, so they just kind of go and start
Speaker 2: the process.
Speaker 1: But it's been a long time of preparation for me.
Speaker 3: Man weill fingers no, and.
Speaker 1: Who would have thought.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, you know, and when you're young, you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: please don't be PREGGI good, Please do't get pressure plae
Speaker 2: to get pregnant. Meanwhile, now it's like you bending over
Speaker 2: backwards doing hulu oups, you know.
Speaker 1: To get pregnant. It's so strange how life happens, because you.
Speaker 2: Know, you could be fifteen and you're like, no, I
Speaker 2: just looked at a penis and now I'm pregnant and
Speaker 2: as a thirty nine year old woman, I'm like, please
Speaker 2: come on, overes. So yeah, I mean, like I said,
Speaker 2: it's I didn't realize it's not until you start talking
Speaker 2: about IVA that you find out just how many women.
Speaker 1: My doctor told me that that it.
Speaker 2: Concerns the fertility industry that how how our fertility men
Speaker 2: and women has significantly dropped over the years, that it's much, yeah,
Speaker 2: much lower. Like there's a trend of it just going down, down, down,
Speaker 2: And I'm like, wow, why do you think that is?
Speaker 1: She was like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Honestly, they don't know is it's stress, is a diet.
Speaker 2: They don't know why less and less women are fertile
Speaker 2: and less and less men honestly are fertile.
Speaker 3: Because that's interesting, Like that's the first time I've heard
Speaker 3: fertility being down, because you hear like birth spain down,
Speaker 3: which I think is a symptom of just people getting
Speaker 3: married older and not wanting kids, in the economy and
Speaker 3: all kinds of stuff. But fertility, Wait, are we are
Speaker 3: we actually gonna be end up in the Handmaid's tail?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Right, She was like, honestly, that you know that there's
Speaker 2: an overall fertility issue happening. And I don't know if
Speaker 2: she met in the United States or like worldwide, but yeah,
Speaker 2: so she was like, you know, more and more folks
Speaker 2: that you wouldn't expect to have, you know, a fertility
Speaker 2: issue are She's like, like, you two, like, I don't drink.
Speaker 2: I've never had. I don't smoke, I never have. You know,
Speaker 2: I exercised fairly, you know, I mean, well, let me
Speaker 2: not lie. I don't but I don't drink it, I
Speaker 2: don't smoke, okay, but but yeah, so you know, I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 1: I just feel I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: I am scared because I'm feeling overwhelmed by business right now,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, how does the baby fitness all this?
Speaker 3: Well I'm doing when you've got two of them in
Speaker 3: your arms, you just make room. You'll you'll do it.
Speaker 3: You're not the first working mom. You can do it.
Speaker 3: You can do it. You'll find a way. Yeah, you'll
Speaker 3: find me.
Speaker 1: Williams can win a Grand Slam and have a baby.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, that's just don't compare yourself to her,
Speaker 3: because she seriously she's got Beyonce's nanny on speed dial.
Speaker 3: That's different.
Speaker 1: Sure, but you.
Speaker 3: Really, You've made me think about my own fertility. I
Speaker 3: need to you guys know, I need to see some
Speaker 3: doctors in my life. But I'm really it's not like
Speaker 3: it's an immediate plan, but I'm definitely i'd rather know
Speaker 3: now so I can because you know, I'm thirty one
Speaker 3: right now, and I feel like I'm at a point
Speaker 3: where I should at least see what's happening under the
Speaker 3: hood a little bit more than I have. It's been Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's been over a year since I went back to
Speaker 3: the gynecologist. So that's not healthy. I'm going to do better.
Speaker 1: It's good.
Speaker 2: Like, you know, you don't want to find out you
Speaker 2: have fibroids from randomly like wait what and so or
Speaker 2: not you. But I'm just saying in general, like I
Speaker 2: never I never thought about checking my fertility, you know,
Speaker 2: like you just you know, as a woman, you just assume, like, well,
Speaker 2: of course I could have a baby, it's just whether
Speaker 2: or not do I want to or not. But I
Speaker 2: never thought because I'm like, I'm one of five girls,
Speaker 2: you know, Like I was like, uh, I come from
Speaker 2: a fertile family, like my grandma had like you know,
Speaker 2: eight children or whatever, and so but that's not you know,
Speaker 2: one she didn't have them as late as I'm having
Speaker 2: my first, you know, so it sometimes there's a fertility
Speaker 2: issue that only that only comes up if you wait.
Speaker 2: So like my my younger sister, she had two kids
Speaker 2: boom boom, you know, back to but like like she
Speaker 2: got married and literally within a year had her first
Speaker 2: and then a year later had her second. But she
Speaker 2: also had them in her like in her early thirties.
Speaker 2: So maybe if I would have, you know, had my
Speaker 2: first kid at thirty, it wouldn't I wouldn't have had
Speaker 2: an issue.
Speaker 1: So but yeah, so it's just good to.
Speaker 2: Know where you stay and like going if you're thinking
Speaker 2: that you might want to have kids in the future.
Speaker 1: Because honestly, my doctor was like.
Speaker 2: Uh, Tiffany, you know, like you like, she was like,
Speaker 2: you should have been here yesterday. I was like, oh, thanks,
Speaker 2: because apparently I guess what is it called?
Speaker 1: Is it called follicles?
Speaker 3: That's a word, but how are you using it?
Speaker 2: I know, I'm like, there are I think, don't quote me.
Speaker 2: So anyway, like inside, like I guess attached to your
Speaker 2: you TuS, I want to say.
Speaker 1: I'm probably wrong, but.
Speaker 2: Right, So women have a number of follicles, So I
Speaker 2: think you can have like I don't know how many
Speaker 2: you can have on each side, you know, but each
Speaker 2: of those fonnicles produces an egg. But some women have
Speaker 2: like ten, you know. And so for me, I'm down
Speaker 2: to four. If you don't have any follicles, you cannot
Speaker 2: produce any egg, then you are truly you're truly not fertile.
Speaker 1: No more eggs.
Speaker 2: And so when I was like wow, when she said
Speaker 2: I was down the four, I didn't know if I
Speaker 2: was like, okay, so four compared to what And she
Speaker 2: was like, you know, I would have to go to
Speaker 2: see like the most women have. But she said, for example,
Speaker 2: women can have ten, and I was like okay. And
Speaker 2: for my age, although I'm thirty nine. At thirty nine,
Speaker 2: I guess a typical thirty nine year old would have
Speaker 2: more than four. So I don't know why it could
Speaker 2: be hereditary. It could be, but see, like I wish
Speaker 2: if I would have known, I mean, I don't know
Speaker 2: that I would have been like, hey, Superman, let's get
Speaker 2: this baby pop in.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I would have sided.
Speaker 2: But let's just say I waited another two years, you know,
Speaker 2: and I lost two more follicles. You know, I don't
Speaker 2: know if I was born with a lot a little
Speaker 2: because I've never checked my follicles or whatever before. So
Speaker 2: when she said that, I was like wow. So basically,
Speaker 2: for me, time is of the essence. You know, men
Speaker 2: can have like kids until they're like, you know, one
Speaker 2: hundred and one.
Speaker 1: But how do you mean?
Speaker 3: Oh, sorry to interrupt, but I was going to ask
Speaker 3: how do you? And I wonder if other women listening
Speaker 3: have the same fear. But I've had friends, you've had miscarriages,
Speaker 3: and I almost feel like preparing to have a kid
Speaker 3: is also like mentally preparing for what can go wrong.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm a natural pessimist and it's not always
Speaker 3: a good thing, but I wonder if that's crossed your mind,
Speaker 3: and if you have like a plan for how you
Speaker 3: might handle it, or if your doctor has talked about
Speaker 3: that possibility at all.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: I haven't mentioned this before, but actually I had a
Speaker 2: miscarriage a year ago. That's how I found out that
Speaker 2: I had five words, and so it was like it
Speaker 2: was only I was only like two months in two
Speaker 2: and a half, so I knew I was having like
Speaker 2: crazy pains. It was like Superman and I had just
Speaker 2: gotten married. Not even it wasn't a year ago, it
Speaker 2: was you know, no, no, it was because I had
Speaker 2: the five words surgery not that long after, but I
Speaker 2: found out I was pregnant.
Speaker 1: I was like, what, Okay, it's good.
Speaker 2: But then like soon after, like you know, only like
Speaker 2: like a month or two in, I just was having
Speaker 2: like really terrible stomach pains and it was like, I
Speaker 2: don't know, I felt like I was getting kicked in
Speaker 2: the stomach, and so I went to the emergency room and.
Speaker 1: And she was like, uh, are you shying? You're pregnant.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I took like a number of test
Speaker 2: I had so many five boards they couldn't even see.
Speaker 1: And I didn't even know that I had five words.
Speaker 2: And I was like what And I lost the baby
Speaker 2: and I was I mean, it was like a mix
Speaker 2: between like I don't want to I felt like I
Speaker 2: felt it more after than during, because I was more shocked,
Speaker 2: like I have five woids, you know, and so but he.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry, that's my IVF shot reminder.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm keeping that in you.
Speaker 2: So, so what I what I learned was like I
Speaker 2: had so many five woords so here's the thing that
Speaker 2: even it was better for me to have had that mischaracter,
Speaker 2: like you know, I was like, like I said, a
Speaker 2: little under three months because my all the five boids
Speaker 2: combined were like the size of me being like four
Speaker 2: months pregnant, meaning that that those fibers are taking so
Speaker 2: much space the baby would not have been able to
Speaker 2: grow past six months, like as far as size, you know,
Speaker 2: So imagine having a miscaracter at six months, you know.
Speaker 1: So that's what I found out, and so of course
Speaker 1: I right away it was like, well I want to
Speaker 1: get rid of them.
Speaker 2: I mean, there's all these natural remedies and things that
Speaker 2: you can you could try, but I was like I
Speaker 2: didn't want to wait like two years for something to work,
Speaker 2: and so you know, I decided to have the five
Speaker 2: word surgery. It actually went really really well. I had
Speaker 2: a really good doctor. My recovery was I mean, I
Speaker 2: thought everyone's five word surgery was kind of like that.
Speaker 2: And so a number of my friends had it after me,
Speaker 2: and they didn't have as their.
Speaker 1: Recovery was much harder. For My recovery was really.
Speaker 2: Like after a couple of days, I felt like almost
Speaker 2: myself again. I had to remind myself you have stitches
Speaker 2: like sit, you know, settle down. So the surgery was fine,
Speaker 2: but then I kept getting the scar tissue because I
Speaker 2: had so many fibers removed. And so finally I think
Speaker 2: I mentioned like in a previous episode they had to
Speaker 2: put with that the iud into me like the thing
Speaker 2: that you normally put in with Yeah, just basically the
Speaker 2: whole by us open. And also I didn't realize and
Speaker 2: so I recently spoke to my doctor to release medicine
Speaker 2: so the five boids wouldn't grow back, because you know,
Speaker 2: five boards are not something that you can you can
Speaker 2: remove them, but they can come back. And since she
Speaker 2: knew I was gonna be recovering for a long time,
Speaker 2: I could a year later be back with five boids.
Speaker 2: So I don't have five boys and out.
Speaker 1: Thank god.
Speaker 2: I just got checked maybe like a week ago. But yeah,
Speaker 2: so now that's why for me, time is really of
Speaker 2: the essence. It's like Tiffany now, like everything has to
Speaker 2: be on hold. If you want to have a kid,
Speaker 2: you basically have to, you know, do it now. And
Speaker 2: so yeah, it's so, I mean, I can't say I'm
Speaker 2: prepared for a miscarag but I know that it's possible,
Speaker 2: and I don't know. I know people who are like
Speaker 2: on cycle seven. I don't know what that must feel like,
Speaker 2: where you try again and you.
Speaker 1: You know, you go again and put the embrys. I
Speaker 1: don't know what that must feel like.
Speaker 2: So I just you know, one cycle at a time,
Speaker 2: and you know, prayerfully that this is my this is it.
Speaker 1: You know, I do this cycle.
Speaker 2: It takes really well, and I don't have to do
Speaker 2: it like, you know, again and again. That's why I'm
Speaker 2: kind of hoping for twins because I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: I do not want to go through this process again.
Speaker 2: And I think I really would like to have like
Speaker 2: more than one kid because we have Supergirl, but she's twelve,
Speaker 2: and I feel like there's nothing like growing up with
Speaker 2: a sibling close in age. Yeah, and so I would like,
Speaker 2: you know, if I have the opportunity, I want to
Speaker 2: give that, you know, to my child because they'll have
Speaker 2: a sister. But you know, I know, like Lisa, I
Speaker 2: was nine when my baby sister, Lisa was born, so
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm an adult.
Speaker 1: You know, we didn't actually grow up playing together, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean Supergirl's a lost cause anyway.
Speaker 1: She is ready supergirls, like bring the baby.
Speaker 3: Home for now, for now. You know when she when
Speaker 3: when you came home his wife, she reacted so well
Speaker 3: to that.
Speaker 1: No, I know, yeah yeah, but yeah, so I mean.
Speaker 3: Wait, do you need to do you need to go
Speaker 3: take shot or something? I heard that job.
Speaker 2: No, I have, like I put it, you have a
Speaker 2: two hour window, so I have plenty. Okay, yeah, but
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, whenever I hear it, I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, no, no more shot. It's something else being a woman,
Speaker 1: I tell you.
Speaker 3: Listen. I was just complaining to my husband, like I
Speaker 3: haven't talked to my mother in law since Christmas. And
Speaker 3: I was adding, you know, a week after Christmas. I
Speaker 3: was like, well it's been a week. And now I'm
Speaker 3: thinking it's been a month and I haven't called her.
Speaker 3: And I was just like, man, you know, do you
Speaker 3: feel guilty for not talking to my dad or my mom?
Speaker 3: And am I? And He's like, what, I don't think
Speaker 3: he even texts either of them, Like, no one, there's
Speaker 3: no expectation for him to visit them or call them.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, do you see what's happening here? Like
Speaker 3: I'm actually stressed out, and she's mad at me for
Speaker 3: not communicating more. And it's just like such a double standard.
Speaker 3: So I know that's it's different than you know, the
Speaker 3: fertility things, but yes, it is something being a woman.
Speaker 3: There's just such it's just such a different game, such
Speaker 3: a different game because.
Speaker 1: You're expected to still like do everything.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, you took a shot, okay, so you're
Speaker 2: gonna show up and still come to work. Oh you
Speaker 2: like you know, Oh yeah, a miscarriage, oh you know,
Speaker 2: but you still have to like show up. And it's
Speaker 2: just like, oh, it's just.
Speaker 3: What Superman going through? What's he up to?
Speaker 1: For real? You know?
Speaker 2: Like I mean honestly, I mean obviously we have amazing husbands,
Speaker 2: but it's not the same.
Speaker 1: Like today, I literally was.
Speaker 2: Like, like I came from the accountant. I was feeling
Speaker 2: so overwhelmed, and I was like, oh, man, like I
Speaker 2: have to make dinner when I come home, and then
Speaker 2: I have to take front of me.
Speaker 1: So I came home and he saw my face. He's like,
Speaker 1: are you okay? I was like, what do you want
Speaker 1: with your chicken? He was like, man, I can make dinner.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, it's fine because it's said.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make dinner more often, you know, And he
Speaker 2: was like, honestly, I really I'm not.
Speaker 1: I don't want to eat your dinner, right.
Speaker 3: I'll just.
Speaker 1: Take But it's like, you know cause I feel guilty
Speaker 1: about that too.
Speaker 2: Because I'm like, oh, I don't make dinner as much
Speaker 2: as I should. And my good step mom, I feel
Speaker 2: like Supergirl still hates me half the time.
Speaker 1: Some days she's like, hey, taping.
Speaker 2: Other days I'm like, good morning, and it's crickd So
Speaker 2: I'm like, what have I done to you?
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm just like and then I'm like, I want
Speaker 1: to be a good donner. You want to be a
Speaker 1: good friend.
Speaker 3: You're starting Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: I know that.
Speaker 2: Say, And to be fair, I'm like, yo, these shots
Speaker 2: are something else because I'm like, Tetha, you weren't wild
Speaker 2: like this before.
Speaker 1: And it's not until I was talking to my best
Speaker 1: friend Drina. She was like, so I think the shots
Speaker 1: aren't and now I'm laughing. I am truly feeling crazy.
Speaker 2: So yes, so if i'm you could feel free to
Speaker 2: really be on in because I know the shots definitely
Speaker 2: have me on a roller coaster ride.
Speaker 3: No, well, I'm really happy that you're sharing, and I
Speaker 3: mean come on, we I think everyone listening can relate,
Speaker 3: at least in some parts what you're going through. So well,
Speaker 3: good vibes, nothing but good vibes, good baby vibes, and
Speaker 3: uh yeah, keep us posted.
Speaker 1: We'll do now.
Speaker 3: For my Debbie Downer segue, I feel like we need
Speaker 3: some kind of sad gong or something. Day thirty three
Speaker 3: of the government shut down. Yeah, my husband's contributing nothing
Speaker 3: to the household, and yet he's still having to go
Speaker 3: to work every day. It sucks. Like there's people who
Speaker 3: if you're if you're considered non essentially, you don't have
Speaker 3: to go to work, and yes, that sucks because you
Speaker 3: know you're not working, you're not getting paid. But he's
Speaker 3: considered essential, so he still has to go to work
Speaker 3: and still isn't getting paid. And he's like it's never
Speaker 3: been busier, so he's still working late. He had to
Speaker 3: go to work on Saturday. Like, when is this madness
Speaker 3: gonna end? I read some article about a guy who's
Speaker 3: like making Star Wars figurines to make extra income and
Speaker 3: how people are trying to find side hustles just to
Speaker 3: just to kind of make ends meet, and I just
Speaker 3: I can't. I can't take it much longer.
Speaker 2: No, you know, it's so crazy because having a government
Speaker 2: job was supposed to be like the safest job you
Speaker 2: can get, like that, you know, super secure, great insurance,
Speaker 2: and now it's like is it you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, tax sis is going to be interesting. You mentioned
Speaker 3: that earlier. I don't even know. I mean with the
Speaker 3: irs already being like kind of a shit show. Now
Speaker 3: when you consider the I mean, they're saying that they're
Speaker 3: going to do their best to get everything out on
Speaker 3: time per usual. But they're saying that, but I don't
Speaker 3: know if it all you know, things will actually happen,
Speaker 3: because what are we supposed to start getting w well,
Speaker 3: you don't know, but the end of Jenny right.
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, yeah, and it even affects everyone, like I
Speaker 4: two of my companies, I switched from an ES Corp
Speaker 4: to a SA corp that's different that that means I'll
Speaker 4: be taxed differently.
Speaker 2: Submitted this stuff in November through my account. Of course
Speaker 2: he did it December. They were like closed, and so
Speaker 2: now he's trying to call because we have to do
Speaker 2: our taxes and so we don't know how to file
Speaker 2: am I an escorp, am I a C Corp.
Speaker 1: And there's nobody to ask. That's totally.
Speaker 2: That's the difference is like tens of thousands of dollars
Speaker 2: in taxes because if they say no, we're not going
Speaker 2: to allow you to be a sea corp, then I
Speaker 2: owe more. And if they say yes, you could be
Speaker 2: a sea corp, than I owe less, and so you
Speaker 2: know it, even though well, yeah, no, oh, there's no
Speaker 2: there's no one to answer.
Speaker 1: He's called and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you have to be you know, you have
Speaker 2: to be approved. And he's like, well, we're gonna we're
Speaker 2: gonna move forward with the thinking that you're a CE corp.
Speaker 2: But they might come back and say otherwise, or they
Speaker 2: might say, hey, you could be a sea corp, but
Speaker 2: you can't. It can't be since January first. We'll only
Speaker 2: let you since when you're filed in November. So there's
Speaker 2: no it could be three different answers and so that
Speaker 2: so it affects, It affects let's shut down. It's affecting everyone,
Speaker 2: even if you don't directly work for the federal government.
Speaker 2: And it's just I don't I don't like what's the
Speaker 2: end goal here? You know, well, I know what the
Speaker 2: end goal is.
Speaker 3: But the wall chaos distraction. Well, it's also impacting people
Speaker 3: in the mortgage process. We've heard about that recently. So
Speaker 3: if you're like a federal worker and your bank is
Speaker 3: asking you for, you know, records of your payment in
Speaker 3: the middle of an underwriting phase. They don't just do
Speaker 3: that at the beginning of a loan application. They'll come
Speaker 3: at the very end too. If you're like closing and
Speaker 3: do another check of all your records, and if all
Speaker 3: of a sudden you know you've been furloughed, that could
Speaker 3: that could you know, throw a wrench in your plan
Speaker 3: unless you kind of talk to your lender. But on
Speaker 3: the on the bright side, we did recently write a
Speaker 3: story about a bunch of banks kind of offering assistance
Speaker 3: to federal workers who've been furloughed. So if you've got
Speaker 3: loan payments due, or you're going to miss your credit
Speaker 3: card payment or something like that, call up your bank
Speaker 3: and check out their website and see if they offer
Speaker 3: any kind of financial hardship program. They're typically used after
Speaker 3: like natural disasters. But it's been good to see banks
Speaker 3: doing the right thing and agreeing to work with workers,
Speaker 3: because this is seriously out of anybody's hands except for
Speaker 3: our elected officials.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, that has been really good to see.
Speaker 2: I've seen a lot, and I've seen a lot of
Speaker 2: people giving and like restaurants like offering free lunches, and
Speaker 2: it's just you know, there's been a lot of just
Speaker 2: like heartwarming things.
Speaker 1: But it would just be nice for people.
Speaker 2: I honestly, I can't imagine, you know, when I was
Speaker 2: a preschool teacher.
Speaker 1: Being like, oh, no check for no check for the
Speaker 1: whole month. I don't even know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 6: It's time for questions. I guess guess the song ah
Speaker 6: was it's time for questions?
Speaker 3: I yeah, I don't do it again, but I don't.
Speaker 2: Know, oh, because you know, I was trying to think, like,
Speaker 2: what's the second part of the melody?
Speaker 1: Oh, I get a I went.
Speaker 2: For those of you guests, I want you to tweet
Speaker 2: us at the BA podcast and let us know if
Speaker 2: you know what that tune is, the questions tune.
Speaker 3: You can rewind it to hear it again, but don't
Speaker 3: actually do it again.
Speaker 1: All right, so you could email us your questions.
Speaker 3: Ask Brown Ambition Podcasts at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: I'm actually gonna dig into the Dreamcatchers group on Facebook Extreamcatchers,
Speaker 2: Colon Live Richer with a bunch Ofista. This question comes
Speaker 2: from Well, because this is a private group, I'm not
Speaker 2: going to say her her name. I'm going to say
Speaker 2: her name is Maria. Maria says, what are you?
Speaker 1: What is your thought?
Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on paying a credit prepare agency
Speaker 2: monthly to clean up your credit compared to doing it yourself? Also,
Speaker 2: is it better to dispute items or negotiate a settlement
Speaker 2: for deletion? So credit pair versus doing yourself dispute or
Speaker 2: negotiat a settlement for deletion?
Speaker 1: This is Maria? What say you, Manadra?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Credit repair, I mean this is one of those topics
Speaker 3: that or one of those things that isn't necessarily nefarious
Speaker 3: or predatory but easily can get into that can get
Speaker 3: into that lane. So you have to really be careful
Speaker 3: when you're vetting, when you're vetting a credit repair firm,
Speaker 3: and make sure that your expectations of them are realistic
Speaker 3: and that the value of them taking the time to
Speaker 3: do something that you could do yourself is worth it
Speaker 3: to you to pay for it. That would be my warning.
Speaker 3: So read reviews, you know, check see if there there
Speaker 3: have been complaints about them online. The Consumer Financial Protection
Speaker 3: Bureau still publishes a report where they track, you know,
Speaker 3: complaints against different financial institutions. Uh, you know, and and yeah,
Speaker 3: I just have a hard time saying it's it's it
Speaker 3: can help, and I think it can be helpful in
Speaker 3: certain situations, especially for people who just feel over whelmed.
Speaker 3: But it's not like it's not like the panacea to
Speaker 3: all your problems. It won't solve everything. It's not a
Speaker 3: magic pill that'll remove all your debt and save all
Speaker 3: your woes. Like Tiffany always says, like, if poor credit
Speaker 3: histories on your report and it's true, it's it'll stay there.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's the thing about when you're like this,
Speaker 2: uh Maria saying, dispute items and negotiate a settlement for deletion.
Speaker 2: But here's the thing, and this is the thing that
Speaker 2: sometimes the disreputable credit repair agencies do. And I hate
Speaker 2: that so honestly that sometimes dream catches that they've got
Speaker 2: you thinking that disputing true items is the way to
Speaker 2: clean up your credit report. It's true, like when you
Speaker 2: dispute something, you're saying, hey, this is not true, but
Speaker 2: if you did indeed swipe your visa and oh, visa,
Speaker 2: that's true. So you're really not supposed to dispute that
Speaker 2: because and less visa says you owe five hundred when
Speaker 2: you know you only.
Speaker 1: Owe two hundred. You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So to me saying should you dispute items, will
Speaker 2: only dispute it if it's not true, or negotiate a
Speaker 2: settlement for a deletion. Now, negotiating a settlement, I mean
Speaker 2: to me, here's the thing. It really kind of depends
Speaker 2: on what it's worth to you. Now, if you owe
Speaker 2: fifty thousand dollars and you want to negotiate a settlement
Speaker 2: down to ten, it's going to be worth to me
Speaker 2: that's probably worth the hit to your credit report.
Speaker 1: But no, that.
Speaker 2: Because if basically they've forgiven forty thousand dollars worth of debt,
Speaker 2: you're likely going to have to pay taxes on what
Speaker 2: was not paid because what's not paid is considered income
Speaker 2: to the federal government, right, So that's one you have
Speaker 2: to keep that in mind. So you might have to pay,
Speaker 2: you know, twenty five thirty percent on that money that
Speaker 2: wasn't paid.
Speaker 1: But sometimes that's still worth it to some folks.
Speaker 2: But I've seen people settle, like, you know, five hundred
Speaker 2: dollars worth of debt, and it's not necessarily worth it
Speaker 2: if you can pay that off, because like having a
Speaker 2: settlement on your credit report can really give you a
Speaker 2: nasty thing. And I don't know that it's worth it
Speaker 2: for five hundred dollars, you know, So it's really up
Speaker 2: to you to decide.
Speaker 3: Is that being like more painful than or worse for
Speaker 3: your credit than just the continuous you know, non payment
Speaker 3: of debt, like if you're not being able to make
Speaker 3: your payments and finally you just settle it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I say this, So this is what was
Speaker 1: told to share it with me.
Speaker 2: Like I remember I was deciding whether it's to settle,
Speaker 2: and I and had already not. This is like when
Speaker 2: my mortgage I had already not paid for a longer
Speaker 2: period of time, and my friend MICHAELA who's a lawyer,
Speaker 2: was like, we're here now, Tiffany.
Speaker 1: Like I was like, oh no, no, I don't want it
Speaker 1: to because I was talking about foreclosure. And she's like, uh,
Speaker 1: you haven't paid your mortgage in a year.
Speaker 2: It was basically like your credit score is already in
Speaker 2: the gutter. This is just you kicking the can in
Speaker 2: the gutter. I was like, okay, So so basically, yes,
Speaker 2: if you are behind for a long time, then settling
Speaker 2: is not a huge thing. But let's just say I
Speaker 2: wouldn't come out the gate settling if you don't have
Speaker 2: to unless you're really going to save a significant amount
Speaker 2: of money that's worth.
Speaker 1: It because settling.
Speaker 2: Think you have to think about this way which you're
Speaker 2: telling future lenders, is I don't pay back, Like, if
Speaker 2: you lends to me, there's a high likelihood that I'm
Speaker 2: only going to give you some of your money back,
Speaker 2: and no lender wants to see that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and when you settle too, like, lenders typically won't
Speaker 3: settle with you unless you're really delinquent already, Like you
Speaker 3: your months behind on payments, so I would you know,
Speaker 3: if you miss one payment or you know, a few
Speaker 3: months of your payments, a lender may not be prepared
Speaker 3: to settle with you until it gets really bad. So
Speaker 3: you have to understand you maybe, like if you plan
Speaker 3: on settling, you you would have to have the stomach
Speaker 3: to watch your credit score tank because it takes a
Speaker 3: long time of non payment for them to be to
Speaker 3: consider settling that debt. But you know, and often with
Speaker 3: settling debt. Even if a credit repair gets you a
Speaker 3: debt settlement deal, which honestly you can do yourself simply
Speaker 3: by asking, you know, I can't pay ten, but I
Speaker 3: have six. Even if they did, often they require a
Speaker 3: lump sum payment right away. So if you don't have
Speaker 3: the money up front, that can be bad. I mean,
Speaker 3: it can be worthless because yes, they've negotiated for you,
Speaker 3: but you don't have the money to pay it off,
Speaker 3: so you're back where you started. That's one of the
Speaker 3: reasons why we recommend reaching out to agencies like the
Speaker 3: National Foundation for Credit Counseling. They have sort of a
Speaker 3: lift of you can they'll match you with a credit
Speaker 3: counselor and they can help you set aside money to
Speaker 3: pay off your debt and get you on a debt
Speaker 3: repayment plan through their system. And it's it can be
Speaker 3: I believe, like twenty five dollars a month to get
Speaker 3: that type of support from the NFCC. And they're a
Speaker 3: nonprofit and highly reputable, reputable, and I can I'm happy
Speaker 3: to share a link to their their site in the
Speaker 3: in the notes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like them, And so it's a NFCC dot org.
Speaker 3: Right, ORG, I believe, So let mean I can check,
Speaker 3: I'll send I'll put a link in the show notes.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: And then because to me, the only the only kind
Speaker 2: of entity that you can settle without taking like like
Speaker 2: this immediate hit that I've seen is like when I
Speaker 2: settled my my my hospital bill and so it didn't
Speaker 2: actually it went to like internal collections at the hospital,
Speaker 2: so they hadn't, like sad it to like the credit bureaus.
Speaker 1: So I was able to settle.
Speaker 2: But when I looked on my credit score, it didn't
Speaker 2: it didn't go on my credit report because they had
Speaker 2: not reported it yet that they sent it to their
Speaker 2: internal collections versus like the you know, the normal collections
Speaker 2: bureaus that report to you know, like Experience Equifacts, TransUnion,
Speaker 2: so hospital bills.
Speaker 1: There's a lot more flexibility when it comes to settling.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've definitely settled some. It's not that I didn't pay.
Speaker 3: I just forgot I didn't they had sent a bill
Speaker 3: for like you know how you go the doctor and
Speaker 3: you get some lab tests and then yeah, you get
Speaker 3: bills from like these random labs and you forget what
Speaker 3: they are because it's like two months later anyway, that
Speaker 3: happened and I ended up just I just kept being
Speaker 3: so frustrated, and she was like, look, do you want
Speaker 3: to just get rid of this for forty dollars? And
Speaker 3: I was like sure, and that was that was easy.
Speaker 3: So good question. Just watch out for credit repair firms
Speaker 3: up for instead a credit counseling nonprofit if you can
Speaker 3: start there.
Speaker 2: We have a good question, do you want to I
Speaker 2: want to ask another one. This one is nice and light,
Speaker 2: so I'm gonna say. Her name is Tiara. Sierra says,
Speaker 2: what are your What are some of your financial goals
Speaker 2: for twenty nineteen? Mine is to start saving for a
Speaker 2: down payment for a house and to take this IT
Speaker 2: class and start making some real money. Okay, Tiara, So
Speaker 2: what are your financial goals for twenty nineteen?
Speaker 3: Recover from home ownership in twenty eighteen. Yeah, rebuild back
Speaker 3: up my emergency fund to a place where I'm really
Speaker 3: happy and feeling confident. I would say, also, I know
Speaker 3: I have my own goals for my health. I think
Speaker 3: that's also tied up in financial wellness somehow. I mean
Speaker 3: I feel like if I'm not well and I can't work,
Speaker 3: then that puts my family at a disadvantage in my
Speaker 3: household at a disadvantage. So I'm working on that, yeah,
Speaker 3: And I I think career wise, I always think about
Speaker 3: those types of goals. I'm fortunate to be in a
Speaker 3: position where I feel like every other month there's new
Speaker 3: challenges and new things to sink my teeth into it.
Speaker 3: I'm always feeling challenged by the work. And one of
Speaker 3: the things that I've recognized though in the last sort
Speaker 3: of few months or not a few months, but the
Speaker 3: last year, is that I could definitely learn some skills
Speaker 3: that other people that I work with know instead of
Speaker 3: having to rely on them to do things for me.
Speaker 3: And it's not that I want to do their job,
Speaker 3: but I want to better educate myself about a particular
Speaker 3: strategy that feeds a lot of the direction of what
Speaker 3: we do here. Andy. I've already set up kind of
Speaker 3: conversations with the person who leads the team that does
Speaker 3: this part of the strategy for our company, and he's
Speaker 3: going to help me learn so that I can sort
Speaker 3: of walk into meetings feeling more confident in my own
Speaker 3: knowledge about the subject matter and then be able to
Speaker 3: call people on their bs when they're not, you know,
Speaker 3: doing what they say they're going to do or they're not,
Speaker 3: you know, giving us the direction that we need. And
Speaker 3: that's actually going to be a big game changer for me,
Speaker 3: I feel like in my career, because it'll make me
Speaker 3: even more valuable if I speak that, if I'm just
Speaker 3: multi lingual and other sort of types of strategies and
Speaker 3: conversations at the company smartiatti, I'm trying.
Speaker 1: Mine, honestly.
Speaker 2: I just I still feel like I'm not doing right
Speaker 2: by my retirement plan.
Speaker 1: And so one of my that's one of my.
Speaker 2: Big goals, is to one really feel comfortable like and like, Okay,
Speaker 2: this is my clear retirement plan. This is how much
Speaker 2: I'm going to have by this date, and you know,
Speaker 2: because right now I just feel like I'm throwing money
Speaker 2: in there and I'm like, I don't know what's happening.
Speaker 2: I'm just making money as a budgetista. But I feel
Speaker 2: like on the back end, I'm not quite as secure,
Speaker 2: like I'm good at savings, yes, and you know, we
Speaker 2: invested by purchasing you know, our house in the way
Speaker 2: that we did, but I don't feel like I'm solid
Speaker 2: in my retirement planning. And two, I I've already had
Speaker 2: like to talk with my parents, but I really want
Speaker 2: to sit down and like.
Speaker 1: Make sure that.
Speaker 2: There you know that their will is where it's supposed
Speaker 2: to be, and you know their long term health care
Speaker 2: plans they're supposed to be. So thankfully we're in a
Speaker 2: space where, you know, after talking with them for like
Speaker 2: like about a year, they're really comfortable. They're like, yes,
Speaker 2: So a friend of mine who's a lawyer and she
Speaker 2: does this.
Speaker 1: Is actually gonna come. I'm hoping by the beginning of February.
Speaker 2: That's why I asked her, and she's going to sit
Speaker 2: down with my parents and start the process of just
Speaker 2: having these things together. My dad had a really bad
Speaker 2: cough the other day and it wasn't anything because crazy,
Speaker 2: But my dad has never been like he's not. He
Speaker 2: doesn't have high blood pressure, he doesn't have diabetes, he
Speaker 2: doesn't like the stuff that plagues older people. My dad's
Speaker 2: in his seventies, does not plague and he plays tennis
Speaker 2: three times a week. I mean, I didn't even know
Speaker 2: what wheat bread was when I was a kid, but
Speaker 2: we just knew Daddy ate brown bread. That's what I
Speaker 2: used to call it, like, eh, brown bread. He's always
Speaker 2: been really, really healthy, so.
Speaker 1: When he had a call old. We were all like, wait,
Speaker 1: why is daddy coughing? No. Meanwhile, the doctor was like,
Speaker 1: you know, we poor man. We took that man to
Speaker 1: the murderer. Your doctor, no im because we have never
Speaker 1: when I I'm never. I was like, we were like,
Speaker 1: we don't know what's wrong. They were like, he has
Speaker 1: a cold. He's gonna be fine. My dad was not
Speaker 1: happy with us, Like I told you, I was fine.
Speaker 1: I was like, but that we definite see you sick.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, he's more than fine. He had a cold.
Speaker 2: They literally gave him like flow naise and like he's
Speaker 2: like allergies and a cold, flow naise and like us next.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh god, I know.
Speaker 2: But what it made me think of though, because like
Speaker 2: I said, you know, my dad's in the mid seventies.
Speaker 2: What it made me think of is that are we
Speaker 2: you know, prepared prepared? You know, like I said, he's
Speaker 2: in really good health. And you know, the doctor was
Speaker 2: like because I was like, oh, but he's getting a
Speaker 2: little skinny and my dad's like my doctor was like,
Speaker 2: when's the last time you saw an obese.
Speaker 1: You know, eighty year old. No. I was like, hmm,
Speaker 1: this is true.
Speaker 2: He was like, people get a little CLIBBERTI but he's fine.
Speaker 2: He plays tennis, he's healthy, he's happy, nothing's wrong. But
Speaker 2: it did make me think about the future. So I'm
Speaker 2: having my attorney and my friend Tony come and drop
Speaker 2: some paper.
Speaker 1: So that's like a big goal for me.
Speaker 2: I've really been thinking about like future planning and future
Speaker 2: planning for my family, like myself, my husband, a bonus
Speaker 2: bonus daughter, and then also planning for like my parents
Speaker 2: and making sure that like their wishes are fully expressive.
Speaker 1: We all know what that is, so that those are like,
Speaker 1: really my big main goals for twenty nineteen.
Speaker 2: Stop harassing my poor father, Yo, you have no idea.
Speaker 2: When they when they told us flown AI's and mucinex,
Speaker 2: the look he gave.
Speaker 3: I was like, They're like, thank you for giving us
Speaker 3: an opportunity to bill your insurance multiple thousands of dollars.
Speaker 1: I know, I was like, yikes.
Speaker 2: If I was like, darn it, if my dad ever
Speaker 2: really gets sick, he's never gonna want to go to
Speaker 2: the hospital.
Speaker 1: But still I had to. We had ten now.
Speaker 2: But it's just good to know that, like he's in
Speaker 2: great health, and it just goes to show you when
Speaker 2: you take care of yourself, you know, you know, if
Speaker 2: you're fortunate enough to live this to be a little older,
Speaker 2: that your body will take care of you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we should set some brown ambition goals.
Speaker 1: Yeah we should.
Speaker 3: I mean I think we need to be at Essence
Speaker 3: Fest recording this year. You always go without me because
Speaker 3: I always forget until it's like the week of essence
Speaker 3: Fest and you're like brown boosts and going to essence Fest.
Speaker 2: But you know what to be all the way, honest,
Speaker 2: essence is extra brown.
Speaker 1: And usually they're like, what are you doing tomorrow? I'm like,
Speaker 1: essence Fest, don't do this.
Speaker 2: They're like, hopefully so we Yeah, so, I mean definitely
Speaker 2: we're gonna work. Like you know, Dreina, I've got the
Speaker 2: best publicist in the world, but every year she does
Speaker 2: definitely does push early, and it's always me.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know that it's like side come.
Speaker 2: So hopefully we'll get like a little bit more notice.
Speaker 2: Well maybe we'll be able to go like a with
Speaker 2: a brand who's already going to be there, So.
Speaker 1: We'll we'll work. We'll work both angles.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I don't need like an invitation I'll just
Speaker 3: show up. All we need is, like, you know, a
Speaker 3: mic and a computer. We can just hang outside the
Speaker 3: front entrance and just pull people in. I'll be like
Speaker 3: Oprah Gale, turn down Ambition. What can go wrong? What
Speaker 3: can go wrong?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So are we good on questions?
Speaker 2: Hey?
Speaker 1: Guys, did I forget ask your questions? Please? We love
Speaker 1: your questions.
Speaker 3: Go ahead and email us at Brown Ambition Podcast at
Speaker 3: gmail dot com. You can also send us a message
Speaker 3: on Facebook, on Instagram, on Twitter. We're at the BA
Speaker 3: podcast on Twitter and Brown Ambition on Facebook.
Speaker 2: Yes, now it's time for a booster break or booster break.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go first, and I'm going to take a break.
Speaker 2: Have you seen I mean everyone's talking about it on
Speaker 2: the instagrams?
Speaker 1: The fire Festival? Oh document, which one? So?
Speaker 3: Yes, I've watched the one and I've yeah, I died
Speaker 3: it was so funny.
Speaker 1: You if you've watched the Hulu you will love the Netflix.
Speaker 1: Watch both.
Speaker 3: That's what I've heard. The Netflix one's supposed to be
Speaker 3: really good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is beyond And I don't even know if
Speaker 2: I want to break it or boost it.
Speaker 3: I don't know either way, you want to like boost
Speaker 3: the you want to like boost the poor people who
Speaker 3: were you know, the poor local Bahamians who were you know,
Speaker 3: left it broke by this whole festival, and then.
Speaker 2: Like and poor not asn't poor as in like this
Speaker 2: in case they all start reading, that's like not poor,
Speaker 2: like no money poor poor, like this is an unfortunate
Speaker 2: thing that happened to them poor.
Speaker 3: Just to be clear, money many people lost lots of
Speaker 3: money like I had. I heard one restaurant owner lost
Speaker 3: like tens of thousands of dollars, Like she took it
Speaker 3: out of her Yeah, out of her own nest egg.
Speaker 3: I'm totally just stomping all over your boost. Sorry, I'll stop.
Speaker 1: No, it's no, no, you're right no, but the thank goodness.
Speaker 2: So they had her do an actual go fund me
Speaker 2: go fund me that they're going to work to make
Speaker 2: sure it's really herd, that she's going to get it.
Speaker 2: Last time I checked it was upward. It was up
Speaker 2: to one fifty, but she put up fifty thousand. So
Speaker 2: for those of you who haven't watched, the Fire Festival
Speaker 2: was supposed to be this big, huge music so think Coachella,
Speaker 2: but upscale. It was supposed to take place in the Bahamas.
Speaker 2: But there's a scam artist named Billy.
Speaker 1: I forget his last name, but anyway, he and jar Rule, which.
Speaker 3: Is how random I know hip hop mogul.
Speaker 2: Mogul is a stretch we'll just say former hip hop
Speaker 2: rapper or hip hop star.
Speaker 1: So they got together and well, what was I didn't
Speaker 1: know this.
Speaker 2: Originally Fire was an app so you can book like
Speaker 2: just like musical acts, and they wanted to promote the app,
Speaker 2: and someone suggested a festival, so they decided to have
Speaker 2: it in the Bahamas.
Speaker 1: But from the very beginning it was clear that it
Speaker 1: was a scam.
Speaker 2: So apparently this Billy guy is a master scammer that
Speaker 2: he's been scamming his whole life. And I don't think
Speaker 2: he thought that it would go as big because normally
Speaker 2: what he did would was that he scam and be
Speaker 2: able to easily keep the money because there was no
Speaker 2: real recourse. But this grew so big, so many people
Speaker 2: wanted to go to the Fire festival that they paid
Speaker 2: a ton of money, and it just grew, and because
Speaker 2: of social media and people, you know, he had people
Speaker 2: come to other countries and so he got investors involved,
Speaker 2: and he was like forging wire transfers to tell people
Speaker 2: that they were he sent the money. It was just
Speaker 2: a whole bunch of stuff that he did. And so
Speaker 2: he's now saving serving six years in federal prison as
Speaker 2: he should, if not longer. And yeah, so many people
Speaker 2: lost a ton of money or didn't get paid at all.
Speaker 2: But what it really was interesting was to see the
Speaker 2: power of social media and influencers, because that's why so
Speaker 2: many people like Kendall Jenner posted about fire, all these
Speaker 2: models posted about fire, and as a result, you know,
Speaker 2: it made.
Speaker 1: Like, you know, all these people want to go.
Speaker 2: But it's a really good like I would say, if
Speaker 2: it was me, I would say, hmm, watch the Hulu
Speaker 2: one first, because well maybe it depends because and the
Speaker 2: Holy one you get to really see how crazy this
Speaker 2: guy is.
Speaker 1: But in the Netflix one, it is.
Speaker 2: Both hilarious and ghastly.
Speaker 1: It's they're both really good though, But I definitely spent like.
Speaker 2: Two nights watching it, and I was just like, Wow,
Speaker 2: the audacity, the unmitigated goal of this guy.
Speaker 1: And then even after that, Mandy, even.
Speaker 2: After that he was out on bail and started a
Speaker 2: new scam while on bail.
Speaker 3: That kind of is like a pathological liar. He needs
Speaker 3: to be in jail forever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's what they said, that they're a psychologist,
Speaker 2: was like, you know, he's someone who will always be scamming.
Speaker 1: It's just part of him.
Speaker 2: And so yeah, it was, like I said, it was
Speaker 2: really good. So it's kind of like a boost break.
Speaker 2: It was like, there were really interesting documentaries and everyone's
Speaker 2: been talking about it.
Speaker 1: So I definitely highly recommend them both.
Speaker 3: Highly recommend yeah to do i'mb you say you're gonna
Speaker 3: boost a break, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do
Speaker 3: a break and a boost. So the break, I mean,
Speaker 3: it's a break and a boost at the same time.
Speaker 3: But I I've been living under a rock. And there's
Speaker 3: this reporter in Mississippi, Jackson, Mississippi, who she claims was
Speaker 3: told her natural hair was unprofessional she was wearing. She
Speaker 3: started wearing her hair natural on the air and her
Speaker 3: news director pulled her aside and said that it was unprofessional,
Speaker 3: aster to change it back, and then later on she
Speaker 3: was fired. And I'm brushing up on the details of
Speaker 3: the story, but it sounds like she's fouled a complaint
Speaker 3: with the EEOC. What does that stanforget? Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
Speaker 3: Okay EEOC, But anyhow, EEOC handles a lot of workplace
Speaker 3: litigation fouled by employees who have been wronged on you know,
Speaker 3: matters of inequality, so gender discrimination, race discrimination. So yeah,
Speaker 3: this story is really, uh, really shocking. I think it's
Speaker 3: not unusual because we've seen in the news lately, like
Speaker 3: you know, if you're a news reporter and a black
Speaker 3: woman as a news reporter, if you wear your her
Speaker 3: natural like, we've seen women get called out by callers,
Speaker 3: like to the show. There was that one viral clip
Speaker 3: of some like a voicemail that some uh news viewer
Speaker 3: like left this poor reporter because you changed her hair.
Speaker 3: That was really racist, and people will flood the comments
Speaker 3: and leave for you know, racist remarks or whatever. I
Speaker 3: used to do videos at Yahoo, and when I started
Speaker 3: transitioning my hair, you get like hair comments in the
Speaker 3: in the comments. Yeah, it was just like par for
Speaker 3: the course. However, like to actually get fired, I thought
Speaker 3: we were just beyond this. So it's just shocking to
Speaker 3: me to hear if these allegations are true that she
Speaker 3: might have been let go because of her appearance, and
Speaker 3: if her natural hair played a role in it, and
Speaker 3: she talks about how when she was hired, you know,
Speaker 3: she was wearing her hair straight and pressing it with
Speaker 3: flat iron, and you know what it takes, we all know,
Speaker 3: burning your hair to no end to get it to
Speaker 3: lay flat, and how you know, changing it halfway into
Speaker 3: her role or however long it was, you know, to
Speaker 3: have that pushback from her manager. Like I just yeah,
Speaker 3: it's like some it's like some traditional corporate environments. It's
Speaker 3: still like you're stuck in nineteen, you know, fifteen, which
Speaker 3: is just super super sad. But she's getting a lot
Speaker 3: of attention. So hopefully something good comes of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hopefully that would be honestly, yeah, because.
Speaker 2: I just yea, it's just unfortunate, and I just can't
Speaker 2: imagine because, like you said, I need too Like I
Speaker 2: you know, when I taught preschool, I had a fro
Speaker 2: or once I'm like a little Michael Jackson afro. But
Speaker 2: I was teaching preschool, no one was like hey, you know,
Speaker 2: and then after that the fro, I had twists, I
Speaker 2: had braids. But as a teacher, especially of little ones,
Speaker 2: no one, and plus I taught in Newark, where you
Speaker 2: know the majority of the kids look like me, so
Speaker 2: parents weren't like, hey, what's that hair?
Speaker 1: It's like you have the same hair as me, you know.
Speaker 2: So then I became you know, I started a budgetista
Speaker 2: where I could do whatever, but I mean to be
Speaker 2: all the way honest. I'm thinking to myself, if like
Speaker 2: my locks the way they are now, you know, they
Speaker 2: lay quote unquote neat, you know, so I don't know
Speaker 2: that I would be on TV with the fro, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, like like the real and like
Speaker 2: the news and stuff that I don't know they would
Speaker 2: they would accept me or allow me to be on
Speaker 2: if I really think about it, Like I'm wearing my
Speaker 2: locks the way I'm wearing them now because I like them.
Speaker 1: But you know, I mean I realize now that like you.
Speaker 2: Know, it's it's in alignment what with like you know what,
Speaker 2: even though their locks they look really neat. I've heard
Speaker 2: people say that like, oh my gosh, like you hair
Speaker 2: are locks, but they're really neat, And I'm like, and
Speaker 2: you know, it's almost like code for they almost look
Speaker 2: like regular hair, you.
Speaker 1: Know, pretty good for black hair exactly.
Speaker 3: So the coded language.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it is and it's hard, because yeah,
Speaker 2: it's hard.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 3: But I'll tell you one thing. You know, put me
Speaker 3: in the place of her news director, and it wouldn't
Speaker 3: have been an issue. Like, we need people who look
Speaker 3: like us and go, you know, identify with us to
Speaker 3: be in places of power, because then it becomes normal.
Speaker 3: It's unusual because and I'm not saying that we shouldn't
Speaker 3: have white people in leadership roles, like that's not at
Speaker 3: all what I'm saying. I don't want to be misconmistry,
Speaker 3: but we need to have more people sitting around the
Speaker 3: table having those types of conversations.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because people like you said, it must be really
Speaker 2: hard to walk the line when you're like, okay, so
Speaker 2: this is what she means by that.
Speaker 1: Okay, So but it's also good.
Speaker 2: Because I mean, I don't believe, I don't believe in coincidences,
Speaker 2: and that you.
Speaker 1: Know who you are, who you came from.
Speaker 2: All of those things are critical components of where you
Speaker 2: are now and your ability to be where you are
Speaker 2: because one, you know, like people can just look at
Speaker 2: you and be like, oh wow, man, it's in a
Speaker 2: position to power.
Speaker 1: And she wears her hair like big and beautiful.
Speaker 3: They don't always say that I will tell you people,
Speaker 3: but I will I will say one thing that I've
Speaker 3: struggled with. I haven't really struggled with anything on my team,
Speaker 3: but I do get people don't assume that I'm the
Speaker 3: boss sometimes and it's not like I let it bother me,
Speaker 3: but it does happen. I noticed the front desk person
Speaker 3: there was a new one recently, and she made a
Speaker 3: comment that led me to believe that, oh, she doesn't
Speaker 3: know that I run the whole team, you know, And
Speaker 3: it's it's just interesting. You have to kind of clock
Speaker 3: those types of assumptions. It's it's like it's the same
Speaker 3: thing like if a black woman tells you she's going
Speaker 3: to be a character in a movie and she wants
Speaker 3: you to guess who she's going to be, a lot
Speaker 3: of times people might guess like, oh, you're the villain,
Speaker 3: or oh you're the you know, you're like the rookie
Speaker 3: or whatever. Would you guess that they're the main character
Speaker 3: of the movie, like the lead in the film. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's just just interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very very very fascinating. That's code for it
Speaker 1: gets on my freaking.
Speaker 3: Mare sometimes sometimes.
Speaker 1: No, this has been awesome though, but yeah, well one
Speaker 1: last little boost. Did I talk about really want to
Speaker 1: see that movie Little with Marseilles.
Speaker 2: Yes, first of all, Marseille Martin.
Speaker 1: Right, it's a ray and is a Virginia King.
Speaker 3: No, no, no.
Speaker 1: It's Regina. I don't kill me black people.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna claim fifty percent white right now. I'm leaving
Speaker 3: you under the under the bus. Bye, I forget.
Speaker 1: Oh man, I'm like, it's the other Regina. Don't kill me,
Speaker 1: I know, just take my black card right now.
Speaker 3: Regina Hall, Regina Hall, you know, Okay, okay.
Speaker 2: You see you brought it back in. You brought it
Speaker 2: back in. So yeah, so that's just it just looks
Speaker 2: like a dope movie. And I just love all that
Speaker 2: black girl magic. So that's a nice little boost.
Speaker 3: I love it. Yeah, it looks really cute. I'll definitely
Speaker 3: see it.
Speaker 1: Ten husband, Wow, we went from everywhere. Isn't that so crazy?
Speaker 2: I went from overwhelmy, so like, I swear, now I
Speaker 2: got to take another shot.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I.
Speaker 3: Can't, man, I can do this for the twyms tip.
Speaker 1: My emotions are all over the place.
Speaker 2: It's it's the worst when you don't even know that
Speaker 2: your emotions until you realize you're like, wait.
Speaker 1: I'm not getting crazy. Oh okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3: So yeah, of course you are a vessel of life.
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
Speaker 3: Surround yourself in flowers and get it. Do a Beyonce
Speaker 3: photo shoot or something.
Speaker 1: Just like I haven't listened to a indie irey lately. Oh,