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Speaker 1: My uncle forced my grandpa on a carnivore diet, so

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Speaker 1: I called protective services. And this comes directly from one

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Speaker 1: of our own and the subreddits. I have so many

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Speaker 1: opinions about this. Everyone's gonna open up and we're gonna

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Speaker 1: learn so much of this episode because I have so

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Speaker 1: many opinions. Okay, here we go.

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Speaker 2: Two.

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Speaker 1: Just give the characters up front fake names. Use for

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Speaker 1: Amminimity me female twenty eight. My mother will call Paula

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Speaker 1: female sixty one. My uncle, my mother's youngest sibling, we'll

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Speaker 1: call boot Scoot Junior, male fifty six. My grandfather boot

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Speaker 1: Scoot Senior, also referred to as Pap mal eighty three.

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Speaker 1: My sister Carla female thirty six, my now deceased aunt

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Speaker 1: Bibie female fifty four when she passed in the middle

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Speaker 1: of the children to my grandma and Pap, just in

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Speaker 1: case I have to include them for any reason. My

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Speaker 1: husband Keannu thirty three male. All right, so we have

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Speaker 1: all the characters.

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Speaker 2: All the characters we got boot Scoot Junior, Bootscoot Senior,

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Speaker 2: and then some months Yes.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, this comes from non four M

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Speaker 1: three and zero on on the R sage. Okay, not

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Speaker 1: story time Sebready, here's a bit of context, so that

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Speaker 1: maybe there aren't many questions. So my grandfather has always

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Speaker 1: been her mudgety old man. He's reminiscent. These are big

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Speaker 1: words of Clint Eastwood's character in the movie Grand Terino

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Speaker 1: if you need a picture painted, but add about seventy

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Speaker 1: five pounds. At least he was much heavier at the

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Speaker 1: time when I saw him at a distant relatives funeral

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Speaker 1: over a year ago. He's very opinionated, has been verbally

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Speaker 1: abusive to the people in his younger years, and even

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Speaker 1: a little bit on the physical side of bubu to

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Speaker 1: his wife when she was live. So he ostracized himself

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Speaker 1: from most of the younger family that way. Yes, he

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Speaker 1: calmed down with old age, but that doesn't negate the

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Speaker 1: things that he's done. So my nuclear family is low contact.

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Speaker 2: That makes sense. Is this? Wait? Is this Bootscoot junior?

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Speaker 1: Bootsgoo Senior sounds like boot Scoot senior.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, so not not the best guy.

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Speaker 1: I'm the best guy either. My mother moved back to

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Speaker 1: our town earlier this year after living near California for

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Speaker 1: almost twenty years, so she now lives with me and

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Speaker 1: my husband and children. When Bootscoot Junior got divorced, he

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Speaker 1: eventually moved in with boot Scoot Senior to help take

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Speaker 1: care of him as he got older. My mother had

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Speaker 1: tried for a time to be his character taker about

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Speaker 1: four to five years ago now, but she is an

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Speaker 1: out lesbian and our senior is very homophobic, so she

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Speaker 1: had to step down because he was saying awful things

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Speaker 1: to her. So for the last three years approximately, Bootscoot

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Speaker 1: Junior had been taken care of Senior. Now Bootscoot Junior

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Speaker 1: is an add duck.

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Speaker 2: So Bootscoot Senior school Junior. Yes, maybe maybe learning a

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Speaker 2: thing or two.

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Speaker 1: I am all here for a little conspiracy theory diving,

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Speaker 1: but he goes a bit far. When he moved in

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Speaker 1: with Senior, Junior was heavy set by his own words,

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Speaker 1: that's not my judgment, so he was trying to lose weight. Well,

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Speaker 1: somewhere along the line he learned of something called the

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Speaker 1: carnivore's diet. It's literally three rules only meat only, drink

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Speaker 1: water only, season it with salt. Junior began to lose

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Speaker 1: weight rapidly.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm so confused, Powell.

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Speaker 1: It does. There's some people on TikTok that went like

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Speaker 1: super viral. They eat three pounds of meat every day.

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Speaker 1: A pound?

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Speaker 2: Is that? Because don't you you need like you need

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Speaker 2: veggies and you need like other things to stay healthy.

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Speaker 1: I believe your This is just from me listening to

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Speaker 1: my mother and you guys know who I am. Your

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Speaker 1: blood naturally produces certain whatever you need.

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Speaker 2: Maybe some people do it in more.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, some people's blood like blood supplies what they need regularly.

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Speaker 1: They can go on that kind of diet. But other

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Speaker 1: people can't do that.

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Speaker 2: The only thing that I'm wondering about is like scurvy,

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Speaker 2: you know, because if you don't eat any vitamin CEA,

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Speaker 2: but vitamin C is like oranges and citrus and stuff,

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Speaker 2: and so if you're not eating any of that stuff,

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Speaker 2: you're losing your teeth.

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Speaker 1: That's true. I've seen that on TikTok where people like

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Speaker 1: I haven't had any headaches anymore. I feel great in meat.

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Speaker 1: I don't buy it, but I don't buy that we

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Speaker 1: had doctor assumed that he was my grandfather's older brother

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Speaker 1: because of how good he looks. A curious Google search

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Speaker 1: without digging at all will bring up all the awful

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Speaker 1: things about this diet it can go to cause heart disease,

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Speaker 1: kidney problems, clout cancer, and in some cases, and that

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Speaker 1: just the first couple of things listed. One of the

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Speaker 1: big problems though, that it causes significant nutrients deficiency because

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Speaker 1: you're not getting any vitamins and minerals you need from

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Speaker 1: just meat and water and salt. Now to the actual incident,

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Speaker 1: Bootscoot Junior decided that he didn't like his father's way,

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Speaker 1: and since he was doing the cooking and cleaning and

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Speaker 1: the food shopping, decided to put his eighty three year

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Speaker 1: old father with diabetes on his die with him. Mel

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Speaker 1: pre No, when you have diabetes, you need salt like

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Speaker 1: you need more meat.

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Speaker 2: No, you need like you need a very specific kind

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Speaker 2: of meat like food and diet and stuff yourself. You

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Speaker 2: have to get a certain amount of sugar, is Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So you get them on barbecue chicken, then you put

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Speaker 1: them on some uh some goat meat, and then after

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Speaker 1: that finish it off with some mass.

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Speaker 2: Grandfather is not gonna survive this diet. I'm so stressed.

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Speaker 1: A part of the carnivore diet is the you can't

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Speaker 1: cut it unfortunately because of it because of our low

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Speaker 1: contact with them due to our opinions and ideologies, we

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Speaker 1: didn't see how bad things were getting. So my mom

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Speaker 1: gets a call from her brother saying that Pap is

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Speaker 1: in the hospital and they're trying to transfer him to

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Speaker 1: a nursing facility because of how weak and lethargic he is.

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Speaker 1: Mom asked what happened. Junior told her Pop fell and

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Speaker 1: hit his head, so he brought him in. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: until my mother and I and my sister went to

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Speaker 1: visit path the next day that we saw how bad

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Speaker 1: they really was. Pappy is so skinny that you can

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Speaker 1: see every bone in his body. He's lost terror due

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Speaker 1: to the malnourishment. He's so weak he can't chew and

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Speaker 1: he can't swallow without help. He's wearing napers doppers, and

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Speaker 1: when he talks, he damn near whispers, as if if

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Speaker 1: he talks all he's usually sleeping. And he had lost

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Speaker 1: about all but tu's toes to his diabetes.

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Speaker 2: This is this is abuse. I get that man out

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Speaker 2: of there. I feel like you could send this guy

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Speaker 2: to like this, the junior to jail, like call the

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Speaker 2: police on him. That's crazy. If he if he's in

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Speaker 2: charge of taking care of the father, he cannot be

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Speaker 2: letting him live this way.

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Speaker 1: I work as a CNA. I see this stuff daily,

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Speaker 1: but this was significant decline very quickly. Booscoo Junior showed

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Speaker 1: up to visit while we were looking at him and

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Speaker 1: was acting as if Pap was one hundred percent fine.

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Speaker 1: Told us my sister had needed to drive from her

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Speaker 1: state to visit because he wasn't dying and he probably

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Speaker 1: gonna come home soon. We asked him about what he's

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Speaker 1: been feeding Pap, and that's when he went off on

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Speaker 1: his carnivore diet tangent. He says he's never been healthier

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Speaker 1: or felt better. He said it cured PAP's diabetes. He

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Speaker 1: said he's done his research and Pap doesn't need his

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Speaker 1: insulin anymore. Said me and my mom and my sister

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Speaker 1: could do it with trying because they are way overweight.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't pretend to be skinny here, but yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: chunky with But what the hell?

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Speaker 3: He Oh my god, he.

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Speaker 1: Said, if aunt Biebie had been on this die, she

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Speaker 1: would have lived longer to At this point, I'm realizing

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Speaker 1: how delusional this manage. Right now?

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Speaker 2: Okay, wall, I'm sorry. Is he not giving his diabetic

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Speaker 2: father insulin either he isn't.

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Speaker 1: He swears he did his research, but it doesn't take

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Speaker 1: more than a minute long Google search to find everything

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Speaker 1: wrong with his diet. But he can control his own

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Speaker 1: body and life, so we on that. But to force

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Speaker 1: your eighty three year old father onto the diet so too,

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Speaker 1: stop checking his blood sugar or giving him insolin is

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Speaker 1: something else. Entirely. I genuinely believe that Pap is nutrient

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Speaker 1: deficient and that's what causes plummeted downhill.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely absolutely, that's what's causing it.

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Speaker 1: Facility is literally assessing him to be put on hospice.

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Speaker 1: Junior says he only failed once, but Pap is covered

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Speaker 1: in bruises until he fell more than once. So after

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Speaker 1: a long sense of talk with my mother, my sister,

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Speaker 1: and my husband, who is also a CNA, my mom

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Speaker 1: asks if I would make an honest call to adult

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Speaker 1: protect his God. Yeah, wow, I said absolutely, While apparently

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Speaker 1: either the hospital or the facility already had because he

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Speaker 1: had an active caseworker and a report had been made

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Speaker 1: the day after he was transferred from the hospital to

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Speaker 1: the nursing home and wellness facility. We left a message

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Speaker 1: as the caseworker was out in the field, so I

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Speaker 1: wasn't able to talk to them directly, and it was

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Speaker 1: a Friday, so I'm hoping to talk to them on Monday.

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Speaker 1: We went to visit Pap again on Saturday and Junior

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Speaker 1: showed up. He started giving the aid a hard time

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Speaker 1: for giving Pap a mushed up brownie, despite Pap saying

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Speaker 1: he really liked it and wanted it.

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Speaker 2: He's finally getting food that's not meat.

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Speaker 1: Then he got mad, saying he was questioned earlier that

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Speaker 1: day by Adult Protective Services about why Pop was up skinning.

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Speaker 1: He told them it was because he just doesn't want

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Speaker 1: to eat those days that much, except anyone can tell

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Speaker 1: he's too weak to chew and the meat isn't exactly

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Speaker 1: easy to chew to begin with. We left before he

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Speaker 1: could start pointing fingers, but not before he handed a

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Speaker 1: steak to one of the nurses and told him to

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Speaker 1: heat it up for you, the PAP who doesn't have

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Speaker 1: his dentures. I feel like Junior is a danger to

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Speaker 1: himself and others. By the way, you won't be a

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Speaker 1: danger if you joined us live every weekday at three

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Speaker 1: pm PSC on YouTube. It's taper for Rofhile I feel

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Speaker 1: like he is delusional. You're not wrong, girl. He thinks

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Speaker 1: doctors are all liars and government lackeys. If you don't

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Speaker 1: immediately agree with him about this, cardvoar, diet shitannery your

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Speaker 1: enemy numero uno. So when APS calls back on Monday,

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Speaker 1: would I be the A hole if I called him

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Speaker 1: out told them everything I've learned? How do you reason

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Speaker 1: with someone so reasonable? My Pap wasn't a saint by enemies,

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Speaker 1: and the love I felt for him as a child

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Speaker 1: is doormat to be frank. But when my mother is hurting,

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Speaker 1: Grandma died when I was seven, and she was close

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Speaker 1: with her. She's losing her last living parent, and it

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Speaker 1: may very be because of their own little brother's negligence.

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Speaker 1: So RADI am I the A hole?

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Speaker 2: I think that you would be the a hole if

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Speaker 2: you don't tell, Because this is this is not like,

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Speaker 2: oh he's weird guy. This is a person's life seems

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Speaker 2: to be at risk. Someone's being treated really your grandfather's

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Speaker 2: being treated really terribly and obviously like he wasn't a

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Speaker 2: good guy, Like he's mistreated you and your family in

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Speaker 2: the past. But no one deserves one deserves this when

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Speaker 2: they're that old, so definitely call Adult Protective Services and

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Speaker 2: let them know what you know, because this is this

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Speaker 2: is not safe. My girlfriend's mother stole ten k from me.

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Speaker 2: I'm calling the police. My relationship with my girlfriend's mother

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Speaker 2: has recently turned sour after she took my Transformer toys

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Speaker 2: from my flat to give to her grandson. She stole

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Speaker 2: the transformers. I'm presuming they're worth a lot. She has

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Speaker 2: refused to give them back, saying that someone in the

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Speaker 2: twenties shouldn't have toys in their flat up. The issue

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Speaker 2: is that they are collectibles in addition to toys, since

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Speaker 2: the majority of them date to the nineteen eighties. Their

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Speaker 2: combined value is estimated to be roughly ten to eleven

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Speaker 2: koh haven't gotten them appraised, but that is what I'll

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Speaker 2: put down if I make the report. I informed her

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Speaker 2: of the value, but she brushed it aside by stating, well,

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Speaker 2: they're just toys. I even told her I'll go to

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Speaker 2: the store to pick some toys for her grandson, but

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Speaker 2: she doesn't want that and refused by saying they don't

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Speaker 2: make them like they used to. By the way, this

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Speaker 2: comes from Russo DOL eighty six on the r slashaka

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Speaker 2: storytime Subreddit. I'm sorry, did she like break into his house?

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Speaker 2: When did she steal these toys? That's insane. My girlfriend

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Speaker 2: and I have spoken about this, but she doesn't want

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Speaker 2: to become involved and prefers that I handle it on

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Speaker 2: my own red flag.

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Speaker 1: That's your mom, that's her mom.

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Speaker 3: Her mom stole your stuff.

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Speaker 2: I told her that I have exhausted all options and

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Speaker 2: that the next logical step is probably to report the

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Speaker 2: items as stolen. Also, who kind of because if she

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Speaker 2: gave the toys to her grandson, he's probably like open them,

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Speaker 2: you know, because sometimes with collectibles they have them in

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Speaker 2: the packages and stuff. Dealing something worth ten K isn't

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Speaker 2: a misdemeanor either. This is a felony level theft. Additionally,

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Speaker 2: the mother took them by entering my flat using my

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Speaker 2: girlfriend's key. That's literally My girlfriend said she would speak

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Speaker 2: to her mother and ask her not to do anything

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Speaker 2: similar ever again. But I should let this one go

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Speaker 2: and not escalate the matter because if I reported it,

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Speaker 2: we would be done. You should be done. Yep, she

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Speaker 2: literally stole your stuff. Doing it now, your girlfriend's not

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Speaker 2: doing anything about it, and it's like, just let it go.

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Speaker 2: Just let it go. It would be different if your

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Speaker 2: girlfriend said, oh, like, you know, just let it go.

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Speaker 2: I'll get the stuff back, and she gets it back. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's different. She said she would only talk and involve

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Speaker 2: herself if I promised to not do anything about it.

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Speaker 2: And I should value our two and a half your

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Speaker 2: relationship more than some plastic toys. No one is listening

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Speaker 2: to ape about the value of these toys.

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Speaker 1: That's not what we're debating the relationship over. It's about stealing.

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Speaker 2: Ten K worth of stuff. Also, just even if it

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Speaker 2: wasn't ten k, she stole his stuff. I don't understand

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Speaker 2: why she isn't valuing our relationship and getting my stuff

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Speaker 2: back from her family. Yeah she's she's saying, oh, I

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Speaker 2: should value the relationship over the toys. You should value

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Speaker 2: the relationship over your wrecking, you know, protecting your mom

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Speaker 2: who's a thief.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, why don't you prioritize a relationship over the month?

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Speaker 2: I just want my things returned. I genuinely find it

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Speaker 2: hard to believe she's siding with her mother. We've already

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Speaker 2: been into a few arguments over this over the past

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Speaker 2: several days, and I don't think things will get better.

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Speaker 2: A part of me believes that her mother will likely

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Speaker 2: sell them for a profit or something and then purchase

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Speaker 2: the cheaper ones for her grandson to give him on

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Speaker 2: his sixth birthday. This kid is only six, he doesn't

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Speaker 2: care what toys he gets.

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Speaker 1: It might be starting his entrepreneurial journey.

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Speaker 2: So many I don't want to involve the police and

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Speaker 2: ruin my relationship with my girlfriend or her mother. Up

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Speaker 2: until now, her mother has been nothing but nice to me.

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Speaker 2: Is there a more effective a pro to take advice?

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Speaker 2: And there are some relevant comments, but I feel like

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Speaker 2: if your girlfriend's not supporting you, it's kind of game over. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: relevant comments Opie. When told to go over and get

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Speaker 2: them back, Opie says, get them out. I don't know

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Speaker 2: where they are, most probably in their house, but I

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Speaker 2: don't think she'll let me search her house for my stuff.

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Speaker 2: Asking for it hasn't worked. And Airplane Corn says, hang

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Speaker 2: the f on. She can answer your house to steal

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Speaker 2: your crap, but she won't let you into her house

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Speaker 2: to get your stolen property back. Bro, I can't effing

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Speaker 2: even get the f out of here. Tell your girlfriend

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Speaker 2: to take you over there and let you in and

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Speaker 2: look for your crap also said, child recipient of your

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Speaker 2: stolen property is a relation to your girlfriend. Tell her

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Speaker 2: to get you in touch with that child's family so

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Speaker 2: they can return your stolen property. If your girlfriend want

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Speaker 2: to either, then she's morally complicit in you being robbed.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: King Alistair says, sure you want to be with a

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Speaker 2: girlfriend who supports her mother and theft instead of just

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Speaker 2: going and taking those toys and bring them back to you. Oh,

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Speaker 2: he says, I see what you're saying. But other than

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Speaker 2: this one thing, the rest of our relationship has been good.

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Speaker 2: But I think sometimes one big thing is enough to realize, oh,

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Speaker 2: this person is not right for me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Limitless Megan says, here's the thing. Her mother led herself

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Speaker 2: into your home to intentionally steal from you. But she's

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Speaker 2: not gonna say anything. She's taking the keyback, she's not

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Speaker 2: demanding things get returned. She's doing nothing, and she will

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Speaker 2: punish you if you do the one thing you have

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Speaker 2: left to do. Basically, your girlfriend is helping her mom

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Speaker 2: steal from you, and I'm guessing agrees with her mom

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Speaker 2: about your toys. Quote. Are you sure your girlfriend wasn't

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Speaker 2: in on them being taken? And why is it okay

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Speaker 2: for her to throw your two and a half year

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Speaker 2: relationship away so her mom can get away with literally

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Speaker 2: stealing from you? And why would you want to preserve

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Speaker 2: a relationship with someone who thinks so little of you,

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Speaker 2: your feelings and your belongings. And there is an update

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Speaker 2: to finish this story off. But I do think I

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Speaker 2: think file a police report with a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: I am curious with the girlfriend. Does his girlfriend live

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Speaker 1: with Opie?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't think so.

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Speaker 1: That if she was living with OPI that is my

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Speaker 1: other concerns.

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Speaker 2: She has a key to the apartment, but I do

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Speaker 2: believe that she doesn't live with him.

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Speaker 1: If she live with him, she probably want to stay

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Speaker 1: together because she has nowhere else to go.

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Speaker 2: Update. I broke up with my girlfriend good because she

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Speaker 2: continued to take her mom's side and threaten to break

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Speaker 2: up with me. Well yeah, just like call her bluff, right, Okay,

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00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,639
Speaker 2: let's do it. Police report has also been filed. Smart

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Speaker 2: wrote down the estimated value to be thirteen K when

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Speaker 2: the police asked for me for it. Fingers crossed now

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00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,520
Speaker 2: relevant comments. Queen Silly says, don't forget to get your

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Speaker 2: lock change. Definitely, she's already broken in Yeah, good point,

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Speaker 2: Opie says, already asked the building manager to do that.

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Speaker 2: They should get changed by the end of the week,

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Speaker 2: and embarrassed help says, does the theft of ten K

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Speaker 2: plus worth of stuff increase the potential charges that girlfriend's

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Speaker 2: mom's could mom could face, not to mention that they

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Speaker 2: may become damaged while in her possession if she doesn't

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Speaker 2: try to sell the Opie says, according to the police, yes,

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Speaker 2: that is why they asked me to add three K

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Speaker 2: to my estimation. They would have to be appraised once retrieved,

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Speaker 2: though for charges to be pressed. Mundane Currency says, everything

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00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,480
Speaker 2: will be out of the box now. No way a

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Speaker 2: kid understands value, which is what I'm saying, unless she

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Speaker 2: sold them to collectors, in which case she will have

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Speaker 2: to pay you for them. And Opie says she hasn't

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Speaker 2: given them to him yet. She's waiting for his birthday,

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Speaker 2: which is in a few days, thank god.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I suspect she won't.

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Speaker 2: Give them to him now after knowing what they're worth,

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Speaker 2: and will try to sell them for profit. And there

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00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,359
Speaker 2: is an update two years later. I'm just gonna read

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Speaker 2: it because it's sort Oh my gosh, I wanted to

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Speaker 2: give you an update about my Transformers collection that was

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Speaker 2: stolen by my ex's mother. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to

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Speaker 2: recover any of that. No, that's but we settled for

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Speaker 2: seven K, so Opie basically lost about oh seven This

369
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Speaker 2: amount is definitely less than what I believe was fair.

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Speaker 2: But at this point I'm ready to move on. The

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Speaker 2: past two years have been incredibly tough and I just

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00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,199
Speaker 2: want to put this behind me. Thank you all for

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Speaker 2: your support. It meant a lot to me when I

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Speaker 2: needed this most that really, I mean, I'm glad that

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Speaker 2: op He's no longer in that relationship, but it does

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Speaker 2: that they didn't get what they were owed. I hope

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Speaker 2: that freaking six year old likes his Transformers.

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Speaker 1: I bet he's happy with them.

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Speaker 2: You better be freaking happy.

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Speaker 1: Oh man. I would do my best to find those

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Speaker 1: yeah Transformers. I wonder what they're worth now.

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Speaker 2: Probably less because like if he played with them, he

383
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 2: didn't really specify whether she gave them to the kid

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Speaker 2: or she sold them.

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Speaker 3: What a bummer.

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Speaker 1: I forbid my sister from announcing her pregnancy at my wedding,

387
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,919
Speaker 1: but she did it anyway. Projects I thirty female got

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Speaker 1: married last weekend, congratulate and it was supposed to be

389
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Speaker 1: the happiest day of my life. But drama unfolded and

390
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 1: now my family is split in half. No, I need

391
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 1: to know if my the a hole or if my

392
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 1: reaction was justified by the way. This comes from Outrageous

393
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Speaker 1: Gap seventeen six ninety on the Best of Redditors subreddit.

394
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 1: So backstory. My younger sister, twenty seven female, let's call

395
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Speaker 1: her Lucy, has always been the golden child of the family.

396
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 1: She's smart, beautiful, has always been the center of attention,

397
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 1: whether it's her birthdays and graduations or significant life events.

398
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:28,439
Speaker 1: I've always felt I was living in her shadow, but

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Speaker 1: I've never said anything. He goes well, She's my sister

400
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,440
Speaker 1: and I love her. Lucy got pregnant a couple months ago,

401
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,919
Speaker 1: and while I'm genuinely happy for her, I was also

402
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 1: relieved that my wedding day could finally be about me

403
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:46,119
Speaker 1: or once no one overshadows me, no unexpected news, just me,

404
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 1: my partner and our big day. A week before the wedding,

405
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,679
Speaker 1: Lucy called me and during what I thought was a

406
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 1: casual sisterly chat, she drops this bomb show wouldn't it

407
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 1: be amazing? If I propose my pregnancy during your recon

408
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,399
Speaker 1: it would be such a surprise. Wow, wouldn't it be

409
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,640
Speaker 1: great if I made your day about me like.

410
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Speaker 2: We usually do. Because she's been pregnant for like a months,

411
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,159
Speaker 2: and she's like she had all this time to announce it,

412
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:17,280
Speaker 2: but she's waited. She's waiting until she can steal the day.

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Speaker 1: She went on to explain that all of our family

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Speaker 1: would be there. She thought it would be such a

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00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 1: special moment for everyone.

416
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 2: It's a pea special moment. Get your own.

417
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,360
Speaker 1: I would say, yes, if you bay me half of my.

418
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Speaker 2: Wedding, Yeah, yeah, if you help out.

419
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,439
Speaker 1: I was stunned. I told her politely but firmly, that

420
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Speaker 1: I didn't think it was a good idea. I had

421
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 1: spent months planning this day and I wanted it to

422
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,919
Speaker 1: be about my husband and me, not a pregnancy announcement.

423
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 1: Lucy said I was overreacting and being selfish. She said

424
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: it wasn't a big deal and that everyone would be.

425
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 2: So happy, you and me happy.

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00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:58,400
Speaker 1: I read reiterated my stance no announcement at my wedding.

427
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 1: I thought that was it. We've talked about it the

428
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 1: day of the wedding. No fast forward to the reception.

429
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,679
Speaker 1: Everything was going beautifully. I was having the time of

430
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Speaker 1: my life until I noticed Lucy looking a bit smut.

431
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 2: No, she's got to do it.

432
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 1: That's when she tapped her glass for attention. My stomach

433
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,520
Speaker 1: dropped in front of all of our guests. She stood

434
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 1: up and announced her pregnancy. Anyway, the room erupted in

435
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:38,359
Speaker 1: cheers and congratulations. I was frozen in shock. It felt

436
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:42,160
Speaker 1: like a dream. People immediately swarmed her with hugs and questions,

437
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 1: and suddenly my wedding was no longer about me. It

438
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 1: was Lucy and her baby. I was furious. My husband

439
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: could see it, my bridesmaids could see it, and honestly,

440
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 1: anyone paying attention could see. I was upset, but I

441
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 1: didn't want to cause a scene where I left the

442
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 1: reception or crying in the bridal suite. My husband tried

443
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 1: to console me, but I was hard. Now here's where

444
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 1: things get worse.

445
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 2: I don't like things. See.

446
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 1: It was the next day Lucy sent me a text

447
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: saying I was being a drama queen.

448
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 2: Of course Lucy would say that.

449
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 1: And that everyone was happy for her. My parents are

450
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 1: taking her side, Oh my goodness, saying I should have

451
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 1: just let her have her moment.

452
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,120
Speaker 2: She has her moment every day, and.

453
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 1: That I'm being mature for being upset. But a few

454
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,399
Speaker 1: of my cousins and friends have reached out to me

455
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,639
Speaker 1: telling me that they thought what Lucy did was selfish

456
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:36,440
Speaker 1: and wrong. The family is now divided. Some say I'm overreacting,

457
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,719
Speaker 1: while others say Lucy was out of line. So am

458
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,679
Speaker 1: I the a hole for getting upset that my sister

459
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 1: hijacked my wedding?

460
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 2: She's not the ahole? Obviously not the ahole? And I

461
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 2: think that you need to stick by the family members

462
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,920
Speaker 2: that are on your side and kind of push those

463
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 2: other ones that are not taking your side, because I mean,

464
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 2: why are they so supportive of Lucy? It seems like

465
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 2: this has been a throughout your life and it's just

466
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 2: not serving you, yeah anymore to be around these people.

467
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,119
Speaker 1: Everything in a nutshell. My sister asked to announce her

468
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 1: pregnancy at my wedding. I said no, but she did

469
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 1: it anyways. Now I'm being called selfish and immature for

470
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: being upset about it? Am I the a whole? Comments?

471
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 1: Not the ahole? Go no contacts with her on her side.

472
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 1: She needs to learn that her actions have consequences. Silence

473
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,679
Speaker 1: is your best response to all of them f people

474
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: talking over your paid party for their selfish bs. I'm

475
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 1: on to two. At her baby shower, announce that you're

476
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:35,400
Speaker 1: pregnant even though you're not. That's pretty good. Come to three,

477
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 1: not the a hole. Send her the bill for her

478
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: announcement party. There we go, Yes, get paid. Explain to

479
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 1: your parents you told her and she did it. Anyways,

480
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:49,439
Speaker 1: she should pay, save your messages and video, offer to

481
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: go immediately to Small Claims Core. If she doesn't pay,

482
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 1: I would even figure out how far in the reception

483
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: this was done and charge her that percentage of all

484
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: the costs and blast her on social media. Good phrases

485
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,919
Speaker 1: and hashtags are hashtag golden child, hashtag entitled, hashtag made character.

486
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 1: Let everyone know she can't stand for anything to be

487
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 1: all about you, even at your own wedding. Let her

488
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 1: face the consequences or pony up the money. That is brilliant.

489
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:21,160
Speaker 1: This is the best comment. Suing and then going on

490
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 1: TikTok with it. Get ready with me explaining what your

491
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 1: sister did. That is my favorite comment ever.

492
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 2: Update.

493
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 1: Hey Reddit, it's me again, the one whose sister hijacked

494
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: her wedding with a surprise pregnancy announcement. First of all,

495
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 1: I just want to thank everyone who commented on my

496
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,480
Speaker 1: original post. I never expected to go viral, and reading

497
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 1: your responses really gave me some clarity I figured out

498
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: I owe y'all an update, especially since things have really

499
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,880
Speaker 1: escalated since then. What happened after the wedding. So after

500
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 1: the wedding, I took a few days to cool down.

501
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: I didn't want to respond to any of the family

502
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 1: drama immediately because honestly I needed some space to process everything.

503
00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 1: Lucy and my parents kept pushing for a result, insisting

504
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,399
Speaker 1: that I should apologize for storming out my own wedding

505
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,880
Speaker 1: and for making a big deal out of nothing. I

506
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 1: held firm, though I told them how deeply hurt I was,

507
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: how Lucy had completely disregarded my feelings and my boundaries.

508
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 1: I tried to explain that it wasn't just about the announcement,

509
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 1: it was about years of feeling like I always came

510
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 1: second to her. Unsurprisingly, Lucy doubled down and kepp calling

511
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 1: me dramatic and self centered.

512
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 2: Uh.

513
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: My parents were still on her side, repeating how everyone

514
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: was happy and that I should let it go.

515
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 2: That's the only thing they say. They're just not the

516
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 2: broken records. This is literally they're like, you're thalfash, you're

517
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,479
Speaker 2: making this about you. Just let it go. That's the

518
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 2: only things they say.

519
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:53,159
Speaker 1: Family divide. Now here's where things got even messy. My

520
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 1: cousins and some extended family caught wind of what was

521
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 1: going on. Thanks social media, and the family divide has

522
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 1: gotten even wilder.

523
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,880
Speaker 2: Everyone's taking size. We got a family civil war going on.

524
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 1: One of my cousins actually called Lucy out publicly, saying

525
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 1: what she did was attention seeking and disrespectful.

526
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 2: Well this is great because now it doesn't even have

527
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 2: to do anything.

528
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,200
Speaker 1: Bro, we got a civil war coming here.

529
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 2: Literally. Oh, he's just like, take a step back, let

530
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 2: my family do with the duncan.

531
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 1: That led to a full blown family argument in our

532
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,640
Speaker 1: group chat, with people picking sides. The weirdest part, some

533
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: family members who initially didn't say much are now telling

534
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 1: me they've always seen Lucy as a golden child too,

535
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 1: and they're really glad someone finally spoke up. Of course,

536
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 1: just didn't go over well with my parents. My mom

537
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 1: told me I was tearing the family apart, but I

538
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 1: needed to put an end to this nonsense. But I

539
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 1: wasn't the one who made it public, and I can't

540
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: control what other people say or think.

541
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, if someone else posted about it and was like, hey,

542
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 2: I notice this behavior. That's not a Bee's fault.

543
00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 1: The breaking point. What really shocked me, though, was how

544
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 1: my dad reacted. He's usually the peacemaker, but he straight

545
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 1: up told me that I ruin Lucy's big moment, her

546
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:11,719
Speaker 1: pregnancy announcement, and that I'm holding a grudge for no reason.

547
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 1: That hurt more than I expected because I always thought

548
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,679
Speaker 1: he at least understood where I was coming from. On

549
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,880
Speaker 1: top of that, my parents invited Lucy and her husband

550
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 1: over for dinner a few nights ago, but they didn't

551
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: invite me. When I asked why, my mom said that

552
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: they didn't want any more drama.

553
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 2: Lucy's causing the drama. This is so annoying. Lucy is

554
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 2: so manipulative, and the parents just eat it up.

555
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 1: This is so crazy. So now I'm not only dealing

556
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 1: with the emotional fallout from the wedding, but I'm also

557
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 1: feeling like I'm being pushed out of my own family.

558
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: I've been doing a lot of reflecting and honestly I

559
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: don't think I can keep pretending everything's okay for the

560
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: sake of keeping peace. I love my family, but I

561
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: can't keep sacrificing my feelings and self respect just to

562
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: avoid conflict. My husband has been super supportive through all

563
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 1: of this, and he he's encouraged me to set clear

564
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 1: boundaries with both my sister and parents. So, as hard

565
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 1: as it is, I've decided to go low contact with

566
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 1: Lucy and my parents right now. I'm not cutting them

567
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 1: out completely. I need space to heal and to figure

568
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 1: out or if I want to move forward with them.

569
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 1: Some of my cousins have reached out to say they've

570
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 1: supported me good and that's been a huge comfort during

571
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 1: all this. Am I they ale for density myself after

572
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 1: everything that has happened, not the a whole. We have

573
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 1: one comment I'm gonna read commenter one. Absolutely not the

574
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 1: A hole. I hate suggesting low contact or no contact,

575
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 1: but to be honest, it sounds like the only option

576
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 1: in the scenario if you wish to keep your self respect.

577
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 1: What Lucy did was terrible, and the way your parents

578
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 1: are taking her side is equally forward. I would get

579
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 1: closer to your cousins. They seem like your real family. Ope,

580
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: thanks for the sport. I agree, no low contact seems

581
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 1: necessary to keep myself respect. Lucy's actions her and my

582
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 1: parents siding with her make it worse. I'll definitely focus

583
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: on my cousins who've been supportive, appreciate your advice, and.

584
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 2: There you have it. That's it. I think that's the answer.

585
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 2: I think it's find your cousins, find your real family,

586
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 2: and drop these people who've been making your life all

587
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 2: about Lucy for years.

588
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,479
Speaker 4: The guy I'm dating won't stop talking about his female

589
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 4: best friend. I can't take it anymore.

590
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 2: Don't take it. I started seeing this new guy Beck

591
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks ago.

592
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 3: I had known him for a while before we began dating.

593
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 4: He is really sweet and awesome, and the first three

594
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 4: dates we went on went amazingly and I really enjoyed

595
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 4: being with them. By the way, this comes from throwaway

596
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 4: for Days on the Ours Last Okay Storytime subreddit. So

597
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 4: here's the problem. He has a very close friend Kim,

598
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 4: who seems to constantly be in the picture.

599
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 2: During date number four, he talked about her a lot,

600
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 2: like a lot, a lot.

601
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 4: She was somehow at the topic of every conversation and

602
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 4: When I would try to chain topics, he'd always find

603
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 4: his way drifting back to a memory of the two

604
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 4: of them shared together. Granted, they grew up together and

605
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 4: I also dated at some point, so it would make sense.

606
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 3: That they would have lots of memories in chemistry.

607
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 4: He also began telling me the trip the two of

608
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 4: them are planning to take, how they were taking her car,

609
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 4: staying in her family's house, et cetera. I tried to

610
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 4: ignore it at first and just let it go because

611
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 4: I too have a close friend of the opposite sex.

612
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 3: But we never do anything like the way they do.

613
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 4: Our relationship is platonic and the most we ever do

614
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 4: is play Xbox together. I asked him to be my

615
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 4: date to my brother's wedding, since I had plus one.

616
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 3: This was after about two weeks.

617
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 4: Of dating, and he declined, saying he had already made

618
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,080
Speaker 4: plans on that day to go bowling with some friends.

619
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 4: But after I spoke with a mutual friend of ours,

620
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 4: I found out she was going to be there and

621
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 4: that they had set it up together.

622
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 3: It's been two weeks, You're fine, he said.

623
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 2: He was going to bowling with his friends, which she's

624
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 2: his friend, right like I think. I think that's fine.

625
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know for in the place to be

626
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 3: jealous just yet.

627
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 2: No, I think too early.

628
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 3: We'll find out though there might be more that we

629
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 3: don't know. I was thinking of it for a while,

630
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 3: and the more I thought of it, the more it

631
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 3: bugged me.

632
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 4: So on our last date, I said I didn't want

633
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 4: to pursue a relationship anymore.

634
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 2: WHOA.

635
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 4: He was confused because I had been acting normal up

636
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 4: until this point. He asked me why, and I told him.

637
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 4: I said, I'm sorry, but it makes me uncomfortable how

638
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 4: close you are with Kim. You talk about her a lot,

639
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 4: and she seems to be a big part of your life.

640
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 4: And since we are not official, I would not try

641
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 4: and tell you what to do. I'm just gonna walk

642
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 4: away before it makes me uncomfortable.

643
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 2: Oh, he's allowed to do whatever she wants, right, If

644
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 2: she doesn't want to have this relationship, that's retally fine. Yeah,

645
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 2: I personally would not do that, But that does not

646
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 2: mean like, like, oh, he can do whatever she wants.

647
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 3: Oh right, yeah, right, who are we to tell you

648
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 3: what to do?

649
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

650
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 4: He did not take it well, said I was giving

651
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 4: him an ultimatum and trying to force him to choose,

652
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 4: and then I was being manipulative. I insisted that I

653
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 4: just wasn't okay with it and did not want to

654
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 4: date someone who had that kind of relationship with someone

655
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 4: who wasn't their girlfriend. We were they're not officially boyfriend

656
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 4: and girlfriend, and I felt that I needed to break

657
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 4: things off early before crap hit the fan. Well, I

658
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 4: got an uber home because I didn't want him to

659
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 4: drive me home. He was fuming, And later that evening

660
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 4: I get a text from a number I didn't recognize.

661
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 3: Can you guess who it is? You guessed it?

662
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 4: It was kiss Kim texted me a paragraph about how

663
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 4: Beck was crazy about me and she thinks I'm wrong

664
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,479
Speaker 4: for judging her when I haven't even met her, and

665
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 4: how I heard him and he was being manipulated.

666
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 2: Okay, I think that both Beck and op Yeah seem

667
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 2: to forget that they've only been together for two weeks.

668
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 2: I responded, saying that I did not judge her at all,

669
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 2: just that the nature of their relationship did not sit

670
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 2: well with me and I wanted to.

671
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 4: End things before they got complicated. She responded saying that

672
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 4: I need to give him another chance and that maybe

673
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 4: me and her should meet so that I can see

674
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 4: that she isn't a threat and we could all be friends.

675
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 4: I didn't respond to her, and shortly after his mom

676
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 4: and my mom texted me, telling me I'm overreacting. It's

677
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 4: a massed into a much bigger deal than I thought

678
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 4: it would be. I don't want to be with him

679
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 4: or even try again because of how dramatic I feel

680
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 4: that everyone is being. I've repeatedly been accused of being insecure,

681
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 4: among other things, and I literally cannot believe.

682
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 2: That it's blown up like this.

683
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 3: I'm not an insecure person.

684
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 4: I just got a really bad vibe from the situation

685
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 4: and didn't want to be a part of it.

686
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 2: Am I wrong for this? Should I give him another chance?

687
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,799
Speaker 2: Should I talk to this girl? What do we think?

688
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 3: There's another update?

689
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 2: But let's answer this honestly.

690
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,720
Speaker 3: No, Yeah, no, don't give him another chance?

691
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 2: Right? Like? Do I think that op? Maybe you know,

692
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 2: read into the situation a little bit too much? Yeah? Possibly,

693
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 2: I agree, but also kind of proven right now, like

694
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 2: these people, I don't want to be part of it, right,

695
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 2: Like the bad vibes she got seems to be pretty accurate. Yeah,

696
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 2: So it's like you're good again. You went on a

697
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 2: couple of dates over the course of two weeks. Yeah,

698
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 2: you don't know anyone anything here. Yeah, this is truly

699
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,800
Speaker 2: so dramatic. A relationship should not be this dramatic two

700
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 2: weeks in. No, they're not even official, I'm sorry. Within

701
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 2: the course of a month. Yes, you can break up.

702
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 2: You can break it off for literally any reason.

703
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:04,760
Speaker 3: Now for the update.

704
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 4: I did not respond to Kim, but instead explained things

705
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 4: to my mom and she sided with me completely. She

706
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 4: told me that Beck had called his mom, who was

707
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 4: a former coach of mine.

708
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,839
Speaker 3: Okay, so they're a little involved somehow, and.

709
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,840
Speaker 4: Told her that I yelled at him and tried to

710
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 4: manipulate him because I was feeling insecure, I was lying, buying.

711
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 4: He said that I broke up with him when he

712
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 4: wouldn't do as I said, and she presumably contacted my

713
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,040
Speaker 4: mom afterwards. As you will see from my post, this

714
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 4: was not true. I told my mom this and describe

715
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 4: the situation. She understood how I felt and why I

716
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,439
Speaker 4: loved him, and said that he sounded like a prick

717
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:41,400
Speaker 4: and she was happy I didn't bring him to my

718
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 4: brother's party for his wedding. I blocked Kim's number and

719
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 4: did my best to gently explain to his mom what

720
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 4: really happened, understanding the whole time. She'd probably believe her

721
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,399
Speaker 4: son over me, but surprisingly she didn't. She did say

722
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 4: that he genuinely cared about me, and evidently I was

723
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 4: a hot topic of conversation for a while before all

724
00:35:57,239 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 4: of this. She said he was crazy about me and

725
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 4: was excited to see where our relationship would go. While

726
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,479
Speaker 4: she admitted her son was immature at times but meant well,

727
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:07,360
Speaker 4: she was very nice about all of this, so I

728
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 4: really appreciated that I was genuine and understanding. I said

729
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,399
Speaker 4: that while I understood, I couldn't just ignore the red

730
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 4: flags presented to me since nothing has changed other than

731
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 4: him trying to have other people convince me it's fine.

732
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 3: Well, then I made the right decision.

733
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 4: She said she understood, and that was the end of

734
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 4: it with her, at least ominous.

735
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 3: The worst with Kim did not end leave her alone.

736
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 4: I know, please stop, You're making it worse by being

737
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 4: so involved, Like, why are you so upset? The worst

738
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 4: with Kim did not end until I almost had to

739
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 4: quit my DoorDash job.

740
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 3: It's not with door Dash, but for the sake of anonymity.

741
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 4: I primarily delivered to elderly or families with children. But

742
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 4: as I was unloading girl she's out front of a

743
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,240
Speaker 4: house who had only ordered bread, cheese, and bacon.

744
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 2: I was a little confused, mostly.

745
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 3: Just horrified when I realized who it was.

746
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 2: Do you know?

747
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 4: Was Kim had ordered from my line and gotten me

748
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 4: to deliver to her house. She somehow found out I

749
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 4: was working in her area. I didn't know it was

750
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:14,880
Speaker 4: her area, and I guess she did her best to

751
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 4: get a hold of me. So yeah, I met her,

752
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 4: not by choice, but I did. She ordered from her

753
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,879
Speaker 4: mother's name, I'm guessing because it wasn't a Kim who

754
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 4: had ordered it. She immediately began questioning me about if

755
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 4: I was still talking to Beck and if we were

756
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 4: going to get back together, if I had gotten over

757
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 4: myself yet. However, her expression told me she already knew,

758
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,399
Speaker 4: but was trying to annoy me in any way possible, just.

759
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 2: In general being an absolute be.

760
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 4: I was polite at first until she asked me about

761
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 4: getting over myself, to which I said, off Freddit's advice,

762
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 4: So it really is Yrga's fault. Oh well, I asked

763
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 4: if she had gotten over the fact that her boyfriend

764
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 4: gotten dumb.

765
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 2: There you go.

766
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 3: She didn't take that well and didn't take the bag

767
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:56,759
Speaker 3: of bait game.

768
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 4: I was trying to give her fine by me because

769
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 4: legally customer declines a product, you bring them, you refund

770
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,320
Speaker 4: them and keep whatever it is, since you usually can't

771
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,880
Speaker 4: turn a food item. So I'm eating some crispy I

772
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 4: mean freedom makeing as I type, look at you, you're

773
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 4: just waiting only up. Honestly, I left and it's been

774
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 4: pretty quiet. I have a new date to my brother's

775
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 4: wedding party thing and he is delightfully just a friend.

776
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 3: But Beck and Cam don't know that.

777
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 4: So I'm gonna be posting lots of pictures all night.

778
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 2: Yes, but also maybe, like maybe we don't need a

779
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 2: You don't need to do that back in camp you again,

780
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 2: two weeks.

781
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,840
Speaker 4: We've both planned on this, by the way, and he

782
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,439
Speaker 4: knows everything, so it's even a funnier in that way.

783
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 3: But you can plan on joining us live on YouTube

784
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 3: every week day three pm PST. Just top our profile.

785
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 3: You have always be there.

786
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,359
Speaker 2: You're always there, truly. I think you need to block them.

787
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 3: You get two weeks, you need to block them.

788
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:53,760
Speaker 2: This is stop talking to them. They're weird.

789
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 4: So insane. Yeah, this is so insane. Beck has been

790
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 4: stalking my social media. There you go, more stocking unlike

791
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 4: and then liking posts.

792
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 2: He even so so high school. It's like he's trying

793
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 2: to get you to notice that he's looking. Yeah, exactly.

794
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,439
Speaker 2: It's like, oh god, he should do the mature thing

795
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 2: and post Instagram stories so and then see if they've

796
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:23,280
Speaker 2: watched They watch it, Yes, mature. Yes, it's like everyone else,

797
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 2: everyone else.

798
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 3: Stories just for a certain person.

799
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 2: Yes, and you just wait and your scroll. Yes are

800
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 2: we are we speaking off of experience now.

801
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 4: He even reported a picture of mine that had me

802
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 4: and another mail in it. He'll probably be like this

803
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 4: for a little while longer and then drop everything. But

804
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,320
Speaker 4: it's kind of funny to watch. Honestly, you actually dodged

805
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 4: a bullet massively, really did. I'm moving on and overall

806
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 4: am single and happy. Thanks for the advice, read it.

807
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 4: I appreciate you guys. That is the end of the story.

808
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,399
Speaker 2: Man. Actually, you know, I just kind of take the bag.

809
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:59,360
Speaker 2: You didn't really dodge the bullet, You kind of The

810
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 2: bullet is a bludger and it's chasing me. Around. Yeah.

811
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're just like you're wearing the right protection and

812
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 4: running away in yes right ways. Yeah, but that is honestly,

813
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 4: that is honestly really funny to watch though she's so

814
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:15,239
Speaker 4: obsessed with me.

815
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 2: After two weeks, it is so sad.

816
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's kind of like a little okay, but also like, no,

817
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,240
Speaker 4: I have to actually deal with it, So you're good.

818
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 2: My girlfriend said no to my proposal, but she still

819
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 2: wants to work on a relationship.

820
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:29,880
Speaker 3: Just give her some time for a second.

821
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 2: I have decided to come on here to see if

822
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 2: I can find positivity as I'm really struggling to come

823
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,399
Speaker 2: to terms with this. We've been with each other for

824
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 2: six years. Wow. She's happy with me, but not so

825
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 2: happy with some aspects to the relationship, but she doesn't

826
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,879
Speaker 2: exactly know what's missing. By the way, this comes from

827
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 2: duco Zuzu ten on the Okay Storytime separatedit, so we've

828
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 2: been speaking quite a lot about it, and she's been

829
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 2: quite reassuring. To be fair to her, she feels I

830
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,920
Speaker 2: didn't consider her feelings as we've not really touched on

831
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 2: the marriage subject. She doesn't really feel ready for marriage

832
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 2: right now and doesn't know if she ever wants marriage.

833
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 2: I do need to dig in more, but knowing her,

834
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 2: it is scary. People worry about divorce, et cetera. She

835
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 2: wants to make a decision when she's one hundred percent certain.

836
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 2: She also feels I don't feel ready for marriage. I

837
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 2: see the engagement more as a pre commitment, but she

838
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 2: sees the two as one, so adds a lot of pressure.

839
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 2: Although financially I'm pretty good, she feels a lot of

840
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:22,839
Speaker 2: pressure because financially she isn't ready either. She started her

841
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 2: own business, but it's been going slow for her. We've

842
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 2: been renting for about a year and a half and

843
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 2: aren't ready to buy a house financially. We've had a

844
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 2: challenging year and she feels we've lost some of her intimacy.

845
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 2: I've had to go through reapplying for a job. We've

846
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 2: made the decision to terminate a pregnancy. Please don't give

847
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 2: your moral view on it. We feel terrible as it is.

848
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:43,399
Speaker 2: She's struggling a bit financially. I've got some minor health

849
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,240
Speaker 2: scares well. I need to really start looking after myself.

850
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 2: Around last April, we had a difficult talk where she

851
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 2: said she's not sure if we're spicy sleep compatible and

852
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 2: now she was worried we aren't. We had a very

853
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 2: deep discussion and I took it well and we showed

854
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 2: strength to strive through the reason this conversation came up

855
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 2: was because I felt she had lost her affection to

856
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 2: me a bit. In the discussion, I had to explain

857
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 2: myself because I suffer with prostatitis premature E, which has

858
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 2: made me feel very reluctant to have spicy sleep due

859
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 2: to the pure embarrassment. She never judged me on that

860
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 2: and has been really supportive to tell the truth, but

861
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 2: it's been very difficult for me. I have resorted to

862
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:23,319
Speaker 2: taking certain pills, but even throughout a relationship before moving in,

863
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 2: we've mainly had spicy sleep after drinking, whether it's a

864
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 2: little or a lot, as it gives me more confidence.

865
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 2: Moving forward to June, she ended up getting pregnant. We

866
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,799
Speaker 2: made the decision to not have a baby, which was

867
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:38,240
Speaker 2: really challenging and heartbreaking for us, although she still holds

868
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 2: it against me a bit. When she first told me

869
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 2: how my reaction said it all. When she first told me,

870
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 2: I explained to her that I was also very much

871
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 2: in shock, but because she's been adamant and scared about

872
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 2: the situation and saying she isn't ready. I couldn't then

873
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 2: convince her to keep a baby she doesn't feel ready

874
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:54,839
Speaker 2: for when I can see that, of course we want

875
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 2: a baby, but the timing wasn't right, and I didn't

876
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 2: want to push her into a decision. The termination had

877
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:02,799
Speaker 2: been tough, both mentally and physically with her from end

878
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 2: of let's say July all the way up until mid September.

879
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,799
Speaker 2: Mentally she was better, but physically struggling with bleeding for

880
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,280
Speaker 2: months and has only just come out of it now.

881
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 2: The timing of my decision to propose, in hindsight, was

882
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 2: awful and not thought full of her and mine and

883
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:20,080
Speaker 2: her opinion. We have been getting better and closer and

884
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 2: I wanted something positive to look forward towards the end

885
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 2: of the year. She feels this isn't something we need

886
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 2: to look forward to. I feel really stupid that I

887
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 2: went with this without really thinking properly about it. Maybe

888
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 2: it was pressure from people I don't know. We've always

889
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 2: said we don't need marriage to prove her love. It's

890
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:36,720
Speaker 2: all just a bit of paper, and I now truly

891
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 2: feel I have fallen into the pressure from other people,

892
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 2: given the constant questions, I've always told people we're in

893
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:45,919
Speaker 2: no rush. So I don't know why I've gone through

894
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,320
Speaker 2: with this and there is more, but just pausing really quick,

895
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 2: I think that they just need to have the talk more.

896
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 2: They just need to talk more. Yeah, because it seems like, oh,

897
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:56,920
Speaker 2: p I would say, oh, he probably did brush into it.

898
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 2: I think that I think both parties should kind of

899
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 2: know or kind of be expecting a proposal. I think

900
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,879
Speaker 2: it shouldn't be a complete surprise. I think there should

901
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 2: be a lot of conversations that go into it in

902
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 2: the lead up. Like I think the actual day and

903
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 2: how it happens should be the surprise, right that it's

904
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 2: coming shouldn't be a complete Yeah. I've heard like a

905
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 2: lot of people before they get proposed to be like.

906
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, so one of them is like when you're gonna propose,

907
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 5: like or they go ring shopping or something like just

908
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,799
Speaker 5: so you know, because I mean, yes, you want the

909
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 5: proposal to be a surprise, but they don't want the

910
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:29,840
Speaker 5: fact that they are proposing at all.

911
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, to be a surprise. Yeah, it should be something

912
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 2: you're kind of expecting. Yeah, And so it seems like

913
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,880
Speaker 2: Opete does recognize that, and it's like, oh, you know,

914
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 2: like I did make a mistake. I just went through

915
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 2: a hard year. That doesn't necessarily mean that your relationship

916
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:43,400
Speaker 2: is over. I think it's just like you need to

917
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 2: start having a lot of those hard conversations and figure

918
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 2: out do you maybe you do want to get married.

919
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 2: Maybe that is something that you know that is important

920
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 2: to you, And that's totally fine. Yeah, because I also

921
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 2: feel like too, if your finances also aren't in order

922
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 2: or like where you want them to be for a marriage,

923
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 2: Like I feel like, you know, people don't usually like

924
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:04,759
Speaker 2: long engagements, you know, so it's like if you're engaged,

925
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 2: then like a wedding is probably on its way in

926
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 2: like a year or something, and that's another expense. Yeah,

927
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 2: and you start planning now, you like you're supposed to

928
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 2: generally people get like their wedding dress like at least

929
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 2: six months before the wedding. Yeah, And so it's like.

930
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 4: That's such a big commitment, not even just like relationship wise,

931
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 4: but just like for planning a wedding. That's so much

932
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 4: to do and to pay for, so like it makes

933
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 4: sense that the timing is just wrong.

934
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you lost to like you had to, you know,

935
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 2: give up a baby. Right, it's a big deal. Lots

936
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 2: of stuff come right now. Just I think I think

937
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 2: it's just a conversation you need to have with your

938
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,720
Speaker 2: girlfriend and get on the same page exactly. Since the rejection,

939
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 2: I've explained how I feel heartbroken, vulnerable, rejected, unwanted, unloved.

940
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:47,839
Speaker 2: She's been reassuring me after questions I've asked, and her

941
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,760
Speaker 2: answers are she still loves me. She's still been insisting

942
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 2: she wants to try and work past this. She wants

943
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 2: us to work towards something. She still wants a future.

944
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:58,400
Speaker 2: It's just the whole something is missing and she doesn't

945
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 2: know what it is. Is making me over think and

946
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 2: it's terrible. She's saying, it's not necessarily spicy sleep and

947
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 2: me not lasting long enough, but just general intimacy. We

948
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 2: don't know whether it's been since moving in together and

949
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 2: fallen into the routine, routine trap at home with work

950
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 2: life too. She's saying, we probably lost a bit of

951
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:17,600
Speaker 2: a fun together physically or mentally. We've fallen into habits

952
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 2: on watching TV series, et cetera, a lot, being on

953
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 2: our phones, a lot, like in bed, for example, after

954
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 2: speaking about it. I do feel that technology has gotten

955
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 2: in our way personally. I hate it when we're both

956
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,400
Speaker 2: on our phone in bed. Even though I've addressed it,

957
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 2: I haven't led By example, we used to always kiss

958
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:35,479
Speaker 2: each other good night in bed, but we stopped doing

959
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 2: that quite early after moving in, whereas before when at

960
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 2: each other's parents, we always kiss good night. So moving forward,

961
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 2: we have some solutions which may help our relationship get

962
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,920
Speaker 2: better and build on the intimacy. See, this is the solution.

963
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 2: It's just talking it out.

964
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

965
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:53,760
Speaker 2: I totally feel for ope, hearing from a partner something's missing,

966
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 2: but I don't know what it is that is that

967
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,640
Speaker 2: would make me insecure, be like, yeah, am I what

968
00:46:57,680 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 2: am I doing wrong? Right? That'd be correctly. So that's

969
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:03,440
Speaker 2: also something that on her end, she needs to figure

970
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 2: that out and stop saying, oh, something's missing. But I

971
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 2: don't know, Like, that's totally not fair to you either.

972
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 3: Just need a little more time.

973
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think she can figure out the specifics and

974
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 4: keep that to herself.

975
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:14,879
Speaker 2: That's the thing. I don't think that you could say

976
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:16,440
Speaker 2: something's missing but I don't know what it is. I

977
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,319
Speaker 2: think you have to figure that out, and that's just

978
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:20,799
Speaker 2: a stress, yeah, like say something else. It could be like,

979
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 2: you know, I'm still figuring some stuff out about my

980
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 2: right what I want to, you know, moving forward for

981
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 2: a future. I've been reading a lot online and on

982
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:30,359
Speaker 2: here too, where you read about stories when the wife

983
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 2: first rejects proposals and then they live happily ever after.

984
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:36,239
Speaker 2: But I can't help overthink the situation, and this is

985
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:39,359
Speaker 2: what I'm finding very challenging. I accept her decision, it's

986
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 2: just I need to find positivity. One minute I'm positive,

987
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,759
Speaker 2: next I'm negative. And this obviously hurts her too. And

988
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,320
Speaker 2: she's been a lot closer with me the past few days,

989
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 2: showing the affection I guess I had been wanting. This

990
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 2: isn't going to help her in the long run, really,

991
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:54,560
Speaker 2: if I'm going to keep acting like this, So I

992
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:56,920
Speaker 2: really need to fix up and wake up. But it's

993
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:58,880
Speaker 2: only been a few days. I guess I've come here

994
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,680
Speaker 2: for advice and positive. I know I'll get some negative

995
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 2: comments like she's just waiting until she finds someone better,

996
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 2: et cetera. But if there's anyone with real advice and

997
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,400
Speaker 2: have been in this situation, I would be really grateful.

998
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 2: She doesn't believe we need any counseling because we need

999
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 2: to communicate work through this together, which I do agree.

1000
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:17,359
Speaker 2: But input is also really good. We're going to try

1001
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:20,480
Speaker 2: other things to bring the intimacy bond back. I do

1002
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:23,400
Speaker 2: think that's counseling. I mean, you've been together for six years.

1003
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 2: I think that counseling could be helpful. Yeah, I don't think.

1004
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:28,879
Speaker 2: I think some people are insecure, which is like fine, Yeah,

1005
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 2: that like it's it's like a sign of things going

1006
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 2: wrong or something like that.

1007
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 3: But it's like nice, it's just counseling.

1008
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:36,960
Speaker 2: Just counseling, you know everything. That's totally totally bad. She

1009
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 2: also actually said maybe this is what we needed, and

1010
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 2: it could hypothetically be true. I totally understand her point, though,

1011
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 2: if we go into marriage without solving our issue, this

1012
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,880
Speaker 2: could be more damaging. She wants us to solve our

1013
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 2: issues before making such a big decision, which I think

1014
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:53,320
Speaker 2: is good. Again, my negativity kicks in and she thinks

1015
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 2: maybe because she feels terrible, she wants to give me

1016
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 2: false hope. I am an overthinker, so this doesn't help

1017
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 2: me at all, but you know it does help. Joining

1018
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 2: us live every week to have three pmpst on YouTube.

1019
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 2: Just tap her profile and there is a little bit

1020
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 2: left to the story. But do you have any final thoughts.

1021
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:10,439
Speaker 4: One thing I heard some advice that I've heard someone

1022
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 4: say one time, is like, just for anyone in a relationship,

1023
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:16,800
Speaker 4: it's like, wait as long as possible, yeah, to get married.

1024
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 2: You know, there's no rush.

1025
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I feel like like there's a lot of

1026
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:24,360
Speaker 4: expectations around marriage just in general and people's cultures and whatever,

1027
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:26,480
Speaker 4: and then like with your age and stuff, and so

1028
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:28,439
Speaker 4: I think people do feel like they need to rush

1029
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 4: it a lot, and then they do and then it's

1030
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 4: like wait, but like I don't really know, and then

1031
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,359
Speaker 4: people will get cold feet or something like that. Yeah,

1032
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:37,799
Speaker 4: but if you're both like it makes sense to feel like,

1033
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 4: if you're both.

1034
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 2: In a space where it's like I cannot wait to

1035
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 2: be married to you, then like then that seems great. Yeah.

1036
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 2: I think it should be something like you are like

1037
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:49,840
Speaker 2: one hundred percent certain not yeah, exactly, yeah, and you

1038
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 2: know that the other person is to yes, you got it,

1039
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 2: and you've had those conversations you're both like, yeah, this

1040
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 2: is what we want right right. I want a future

1041
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 2: with you right forever. I've also canceled my plans with

1042
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 2: my friends this Saturday, not overly bothered, so we can

1043
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 2: do something together what she would like. I think she

1044
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 2: appreciated this, but given the circumstances, I want to put

1045
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,719
Speaker 2: her first. I suppose this stuff happens with a lot

1046
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,360
Speaker 2: of couples in long term relationships, and maybe this is

1047
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 2: what we needed to strengthen us. I hope. I feel

1048
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 2: she's been totally honest with me, and I've been telling

1049
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 2: her to only be honest with me about the situation.

1050
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 2: Thank you for your time. Well, and that's the end

1051
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 2: of that story. That's the end, man. I think I

1052
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:27,840
Speaker 2: think they're gonna be okay. My partner and I just

1053
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,800
Speaker 2: got engaged, but he won't stop lying to me.

1054
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:32,839
Speaker 1: You're done, is done.

1055
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 3: I am delighted to share that I recently got engage.

1056
00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 2: My partner and I began dating when we were both

1057
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 2: seventeen years old, and from the very beginning, we felt

1058
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:42,759
Speaker 2: a strong.

1059
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:45,320
Speaker 4: Connection and knew that we were meant to be together.

1060
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 4: We have had numerous conversations about marriage over the years,

1061
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 4: and we mutually decided to start planning for our future

1062
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 4: together when we both reached the age of twenty five.

1063
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Ackermru on the our

1064
00:50:57,040 --> 00:51:00,799
Speaker 4: slash Okay storytime subreddit. So everything was going wonderfully until

1065
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 4: he recently completed his studies.

1066
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 2: I'm aware that some people may.

1067
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 4: Advise us to take things slowly due to our age,

1068
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 4: but we are both resolute in our decision and.

1069
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,719
Speaker 3: Committed to building a life together. So here's a little

1070
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:12,439
Speaker 3: background story.

1071
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 4: I have been working full time for seven months while

1072
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,760
Speaker 4: also studying for a part time degree. In the meantime,

1073
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:21,240
Speaker 4: my partner recently graduated and is looking for a job. However,

1074
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:23,680
Speaker 4: it is challenging for him as a fresh graduate, and

1075
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 4: he is unsure of his next steps. As a result,

1076
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,760
Speaker 4: we are both feeling stressed and anxious about our financial situation.

1077
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 4: Our elders have always told us that the test of

1078
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 4: engagement is significant and if we remain strong, we will

1079
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 4: overcome it. Whenever we hear this phrase, we know we

1080
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:40,920
Speaker 4: can persevere because we have weathered storms and.

1081
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:42,720
Speaker 3: Hurricanes to reach where we are today.

1082
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:46,320
Speaker 4: We thought those challenges were difficult, but they pale in

1083
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:49,440
Speaker 4: comparison to our current situation. To make matters worse, my

1084
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 4: partner has been working as a hitch driver, which is

1085
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 4: illegal in our country.

1086
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,319
Speaker 2: Oh, what is a hitch. I don't know. But also

1087
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:58,800
Speaker 2: maybe you shouldn't tell on him. Yeah, right, telling the

1088
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:03,040
Speaker 2: internet right now. Hitch is long distance ride share professional

1089
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 2: driver who connects with riders heading to the same destiny

1090
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 2: as like a hitchhike. Oh okay.

1091
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:10,480
Speaker 4: He has a license to drive, but not to pick

1092
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:13,360
Speaker 4: up and drop off passengers. If he is caught, he

1093
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 4: could lose his license, face fines, or even be jailed.

1094
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:20,280
Speaker 2: Really hears as to where this is. Yeah, I didn't realize.

1095
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,680
Speaker 2: I didn't know hitchhiking was illegal. Yeah, I mean, I

1096
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:24,480
Speaker 2: don't think it is here. Maybe it's like if you

1097
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 2: charge them without like a Maybe, I don't know, that's

1098
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:29,360
Speaker 2: some sort of license. Interesting.

1099
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:32,440
Speaker 4: I have repeatedly advised him not to take risks and

1100
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 4: to find a part time job until he finds a

1101
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,959
Speaker 4: full time job that he enjoys. However, his reasoning often

1102
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 4: outweighs my concerns, so we reached a compromise. He agreed

1103
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:43,400
Speaker 4: to keep his location on so that I can ensure

1104
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:46,320
Speaker 4: his safety, and in return, he is allowed to continue

1105
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 4: hitching as he has done for many years. I trust

1106
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:52,520
Speaker 4: him to be cautious and avoid any unwanted legal situations.

1107
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:55,200
Speaker 4: The issue now is that he feels uncomfortable having his

1108
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 4: location share, as if he's being constantly monitored. I've tried

1109
00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:01,000
Speaker 4: to reassure him that this is solely from my peace

1110
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:03,800
Speaker 4: of mind. I experience anxiety and fear when he is

1111
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:07,360
Speaker 4: out there, especially since he is engaged in an illegal

1112
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 4: activity and driving at nights, driving strangers.

1113
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:11,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's dangerous.

1114
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:14,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, I am not afraid of him, but rather for him,

1115
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 4: as reckless drivers pose a significant risk, particularly during nighttime hours.

1116
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 4: My worries prevent me from sleeping soundly until I know

1117
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:25,360
Speaker 4: his whereabouts and that he is safe. Therefore, he eventually

1118
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 4: agreed to our arrangement. It was going well for a

1119
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:31,239
Speaker 4: while until that one night. I was texting him, but

1120
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 4: he was not replying. I know that he usually replies

1121
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:36,800
Speaker 4: after two or three texts, but this time he was

1122
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:40,360
Speaker 4: quiet and unresponsive. I started texting him after I finished

1123
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 4: work at ten pm, and until three am there was

1124
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,720
Speaker 4: no news from him. When I looked at his location,

1125
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:47,600
Speaker 4: it was at a place where he was not moving.

1126
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:51,239
Speaker 4: Usually the locations shared are accurate, but this time I

1127
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 4: was not so sure. My mind was racing and my

1128
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:55,920
Speaker 4: heart was palpitating so fast that I felt.

1129
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:56,560
Speaker 3: It in my throat.

1130
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 2: All sorts of scary scenarios ran through my head. Quickly

1131
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,799
Speaker 2: rented a car and went out to find him using

1132
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,879
Speaker 2: his last known location. Finally, he texted me back saying

1133
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:08,200
Speaker 2: that he was fine. I was angry and upset because

1134
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 2: I was so scared for him. I did not know

1135
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 2: what I would have done if he had not been

1136
00:54:12,239 --> 00:54:15,080
Speaker 2: safe and sound. I had thought that perhaps now he

1137
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:17,279
Speaker 2: is aware that I am out here looking for him,

1138
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:20,760
Speaker 2: he would find me to calm me down. However, instead

1139
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 2: he drove back home, leaving me alone in the eerie night.

1140
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 2: When he arrived home, he told me to return home

1141
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:29,680
Speaker 2: and rest, since I am now aware that he is safe.

1142
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 2: I was taken aback. Yess.

1143
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:33,400
Speaker 4: I understand that I went out of my way to

1144
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,240
Speaker 4: find him even though he was actually safe. But couldn't

1145
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:38,400
Speaker 4: he spare a little time to ensure that I am

1146
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 4: safe as well? Isn't that common currency? I find it

1147
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 4: difficult to articulate, but it deeply upsets me that he

1148
00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:46,279
Speaker 4: did not show the same level of care towards me

1149
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,160
Speaker 4: as I did towards him. When I returned, I expressed

1150
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:52,080
Speaker 4: to him that his behavior was unacceptable and that I

1151
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:55,320
Speaker 4: was deeply hurt. His reasoning was that he was tired

1152
00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:57,759
Speaker 4: and could not keep his eyes open any longer. I

1153
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:01,000
Speaker 4: felt torn, but I'm unsure how to pres I questioned

1154
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:04,759
Speaker 4: the validity of my feelings, but nevertheless I communicated to

1155
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 4: him that I am unhappy. He apologized and mentioned that

1156
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:09,799
Speaker 4: we would talk further on my day off. My day

1157
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 4: off happened to be on a Saturday, and I had

1158
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:15,000
Speaker 4: classes that day. We had made plans to meet afterwards,

1159
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:21,960
Speaker 4: but he informed me that he was feeling unwell, so sorry. Naturally,

1160
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:24,279
Speaker 4: I did not want to compel a sick person to

1161
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 4: meet me, especially since we needed to discuss some important

1162
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 4: matters from the past few days. Despite my feelings of frustration,

1163
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:32,359
Speaker 4: I offered to buy him some food to help him

1164
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 4: feel better.

1165
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:36,160
Speaker 3: Considering that he is still my fiance. However, he declined

1166
00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 3: my offer.

1167
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,759
Speaker 4: Although I was hurt, I respected his decision. My next

1168
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:41,880
Speaker 4: day off was on a Tuesday, and I had planned

1169
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 4: to meet him again. However, he did not respond to

1170
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 4: my messages, even though I sent several texts in a row.

1171
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 4: I initially assumed that he was sleeping, but when I

1172
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:52,880
Speaker 4: checked his location, I noticed that it had.

1173
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:55,640
Speaker 2: Been turned off. Ahfuly suspicious.

1174
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:59,600
Speaker 4: This raised concerns and made me feel anxious about what

1175
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 4: my be happening. I decided to reach out to his

1176
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 4: sister to inquire if he was at home, but she

1177
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 4: informed me that he was not. I then contacted his mother,

1178
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,400
Speaker 4: who mentioned that he had gone out in the morning

1179
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:13,440
Speaker 4: and she had assumed he was with me. The news

1180
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:17,239
Speaker 4: left me feeling confused and upset. If he was going out,

1181
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:20,280
Speaker 4: why didn't he inform me. I sent him another message

1182
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:23,320
Speaker 4: asking why he was ignoring me and what the matter was.

1183
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,880
Speaker 4: He responded by saying that he had just woken up

1184
00:56:26,239 --> 00:56:28,719
Speaker 4: and was planning to clean the house. I suggested that

1185
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 4: he send me a short video message to show me

1186
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 4: that he was.

1187
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 2: Indeed at home and cleaning. This is getting a little

1188
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 2: bit yeah, maybe like maybe he is lying, but I

1189
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:41,520
Speaker 2: think op's maybe also overreaching at times too. I think,

1190
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 2: so I see like it's getting a little bit you

1191
00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:47,160
Speaker 2: scared that that he's like in an unsafe situation. Then

1192
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:49,359
Speaker 2: like I could see that, like send me a video,

1193
00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:51,440
Speaker 2: see that you're okay, because I don't trust it, you

1194
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:53,759
Speaker 2: know what I mean. But it's a very likely thing

1195
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:56,280
Speaker 2: that's happening is that he's cheating and in that case,

1196
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 2: it's not okay to ask for like a video proof.

1197
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 2: I don't know, it just leans into like lack of trust,

1198
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:05,239
Speaker 2: and that's that's something that like you need to have

1199
00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 2: a conversation with, right, rather than feeding into this, you know,

1200
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:12,799
Speaker 2: fear of being cheated on by like demanding that they

1201
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 2: start recording where they're going and making them show you

1202
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:18,760
Speaker 2: their phone. It's like it just feeds into it. Yeah,

1203
00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 2: Like just because like even if you don't trust them,

1204
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:24,280
Speaker 2: like you can't ask to do that.

1205
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's still you could just kind of at that point.

1206
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:28,320
Speaker 2: You got to deal with it on you. Yeah, it's

1207
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 2: like either you need to have a conversation where you

1208
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:34,000
Speaker 2: explain your insecurities and why you're feeling that way and

1209
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:37,280
Speaker 2: you talk about what can be done, or you break

1210
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:39,800
Speaker 2: up those like the two opshows. Yeah, he made me

1211
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:43,440
Speaker 2: feel uneasy for asking, and he openly admitted that he

1212
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 2: needed some time alone, so he went out to get

1213
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 2: breakfast and decided to take a stroll. He explained that

1214
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 2: he didn't want to let me.

1215
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 4: Know because he thought I would want to join. This

1216
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:54,080
Speaker 4: hurt me deeply because I wish he had just been

1217
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:57,080
Speaker 4: honest about not wanting me to come along rather than

1218
00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 4: hiding it. I was already feeling frustrated from the previous

1219
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 4: and these small untruths made me break down and express

1220
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:06,640
Speaker 4: my feelings to him. I would have understood his need

1221
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 4: for some time alone. I just couldn't understand the need

1222
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:10,320
Speaker 4: to be untruthful.

1223
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 2: After all, I am his.

1224
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 3: Fiance and I would have respected his space if he

1225
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 3: had asked.

1226
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 2: It also felt a bit unfair for him to choose

1227
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:19,600
Speaker 2: my day off for this, and I was looking forward

1228
00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:21,440
Speaker 2: to talking and working through things together.

1229
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:23,480
Speaker 3: But something that you can look forward to is.

1230
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:26,720
Speaker 4: Joining us live on YouTube every weekday at three pm PSD.

1231
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 2: Just top our profile. Habit ta happen. But I think

1232
00:58:29,200 --> 00:58:33,000
Speaker 2: Ope is right for being upset, like because they had

1233
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 2: established that, you know, they would talk about this on Saturday.

1234
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:38,959
Speaker 2: But I do think that like, on the other hand,

1235
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:42,200
Speaker 2: seems like there's a little bit of like anxious attachment

1236
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 2: going on here. Yeah. I'm not a fan of having locations.

1237
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:49,400
Speaker 2: It feels a little ichy to me. I personally want

1238
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 2: everyone's locations. I am the opposite, not because I wanted,

1239
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:56,680
Speaker 2: like I feel the need to know where my part

1240
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 2: like my partner is or something I just liked to

1241
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 2: little really have everyone. I knows that's just a me thing.

1242
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 2: But also I don't think I wouldn't say that I'm

1243
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 2: a jealous or you know, or at least in the

1244
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:15,320
Speaker 2: one relationship i've had it. Yeah, yeah, right, but yeah,

1245
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:17,960
Speaker 2: so I do like having everyone's location services.

1246
00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 4: I think, I think it can be fun sometimes, but

1247
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 4: it's also like, I don't know situations like this.

1248
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 2: I get that it depends on why you're asking it

1249
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 2: for it for sure, because I think there are some

1250
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 2: cases where couples get into this kind of unhealthy where

1251
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:32,240
Speaker 2: they're like, I want to know because I need to

1252
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:34,480
Speaker 2: know where you're at at all times. Whereas for me,

1253
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:35,080
Speaker 2: it's just like.

1254
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:41,760
Speaker 4: I've collected enough, but there is more to the story,

1255
00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:44,560
Speaker 4: so let's see what's happening. Honestly, this isn't the first

1256
00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:47,800
Speaker 4: time something like this has happened. He has been untruthful

1257
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:49,880
Speaker 4: and has made me feel low for a while now,

1258
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 4: and I'm beginning to realize that I deserve a relationship

1259
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:55,640
Speaker 4: with honesty and respect. Right now, I'm unsure of how

1260
00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:58,959
Speaker 4: to proceed, especially since I don't fully understand its perspective

1261
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 4: or reasons for acting this way. However, I feel that

1262
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:06,280
Speaker 4: being dishonest is not justifiable. I'm working on emotionally distingc

1263
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 4: myself so that if it eventually comes to a breakup,

1264
01:00:09,320 --> 01:00:11,600
Speaker 4: I'll know that I did my best and perhaps it

1265
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 4: is for the best. I'm just trying to stay calm

1266
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 4: and compose. But I could use some advice on how

1267
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 4: to handle the situation.

1268
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 2: And that is all she wrote. I think, yeah, I

1269
01:00:20,840 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 2: think it's a little bit. There's a little bit going

1270
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 2: on on both sides. I think they've been in this

1271
01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:29,120
Speaker 2: relationship since they were seventeen, yeah, and probably are a

1272
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:32,160
Speaker 2: little bit codependent. So sometimes you just like realize, you know,

1273
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:33,919
Speaker 2: this is not your life partner, and that's okay.

1274
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 3: I totally agree with that. That is the end of

1275
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:39,360
Speaker 3: the episode, So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1276
01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:41,360
Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.