1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 1: Welcome everyone to this edition of Amy and TJ. And 2 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:11,960 Speaker 1: you know, this is language that I'm not necessarily familiar with, 3 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: but I feel like we learn something new every day 4 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,640 Speaker 1: from our daughters and maybe even wait, what is the 5 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: generation that Sabine is? 6 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:20,480 Speaker 2: Oh? 7 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 1: My god, is it jen A? Now it hasn't like 8 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: gone back to the beginning of the alphabet. 9 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 2: Damn all these young folks. 10 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,920 Speaker 1: Yes, us gen xers are not familiar with so many 11 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 1: of the new terminologies out there for the dating world 12 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,919 Speaker 1: that so many people find themselves in. But this has 13 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 1: been fun. Like I guess this all comes from TikTok 14 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: and Instagram, all sorts of new dating trends and dating 15 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 1: red flags that folks should be looking out for. So 16 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,600 Speaker 1: if you're in the market or on the market so 17 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: to speak, for a relationship, we have a list of 18 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: new dating trends that you need to be aware of. 19 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: And I'm actually gonna see you haven't seen any of 20 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: these so far, so I'm curious I have. Let me see. Okay, 21 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:11,119 Speaker 1: I have ten trends dating trends slash red flags. These 22 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: are terms that are now being used in the dating world. 23 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: I want to see how much of them you're up 24 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,640 Speaker 1: on and I'd love to hear your best guess on 25 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 1: what you think they are, and then we can discuss 26 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,520 Speaker 1: what they are and why they've become such a trend. 27 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 2: And is Jen alpha? By the way? 28 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 1: Okay, so I had the a thing, but it was Alpha? Okay, 29 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,520 Speaker 1: Jen Alpha, Jen Alpha? Are they not dating yet? Are 30 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: they they're too young to date? 31 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 2: No? 32 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: Well give it like two years, babe, and she's going 33 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: to start dating. She's going to start knowing all of 34 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:40,119 Speaker 1: these terms. 35 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 2: It's ridiculous. 36 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 1: She's twelve, yeah, going on thirty twelve. Okay, all right, 37 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 1: So the first new dating trend and I do think 38 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: you might know this one because you and I talked 39 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: about this. But the first one I want to discuss 40 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: is shreking. What do you think shreking is? 41 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 2: I remember the Shreking. Yes, it had to do with 42 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,560 Speaker 2: the character Shrek. It had to do When I first 43 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 2: heard it, it sounded fun like shreking because it was. 44 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 1: A cartoon character Princess Fiona. 45 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 2: And but this is very negative. It has to do 46 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:20,919 Speaker 2: with dating somebody you think is less attractive in hopes 47 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 2: that they'll treat you better. 48 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 1: Correct. Okay, you just nailed it. Ding Ding Ding, ing ding. 49 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,680 Speaker 1: But here's the funny thing. So shreking is and look, 50 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: I think we've all heard this. In fact, I heard 51 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: my daughter's talking about this, saying so and so is 52 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: dating beneath her because she likes the attention she gets. 53 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: So they have friends who are deliberately dating guys who 54 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,239 Speaker 1: they don't think are as attractive as they are because 55 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: they want to be treated better. Okay, so they get 56 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 1: the princess treatment. 57 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:52,639 Speaker 2: Dear lady. Is this not an old thing that we're 58 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 2: just attaching a name? Yes, okay, we're just calling it. 59 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: You know what it is. I think here's the difference 60 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: between this generation and maybe ours. These kids admit to 61 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: it like they're like, yeah, I'm shreking, Like I don't 62 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 1: think anyone would admit to it. No, I love him. 63 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: He's got a great personality and yeah, I mean he 64 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 1: takes care of me. This is actually acknowledging what's going 65 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 1: on that and I and I don't know that it. 66 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,799 Speaker 1: I was just assuming it was women doing it with men. 67 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: I can't imagine men would do it, you know what. 68 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: This is something that singularly I think women do. Can 69 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: you imagine a man would this be true? Dating Okay, 70 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: dating a woman who he thinks is less attractive than 71 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,079 Speaker 1: him because he likes how she takes care of him. 72 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: Oh okay, that is a thing, isn't it. No, I 73 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: don't know you were laughing, so I just didn't know. 74 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 2: Imagio, that's why you were laughing amongst some of my friends. Okay, 75 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 2: but no, I'm trying to think of a single case instance. 76 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 1: I feel like it's the opposite with men, but maybe 77 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: I'm wrong. Oh that's funny. So yeah, you're getting shrecked. Okay, wait, 78 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: so actually it's funny you should say that, because that's 79 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: not exactly what getting shrecked is. So shreking is dating 80 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: someone you're not physically attracted to in the hopes they'll 81 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: treat you better. But getting shrecked means you dated an 82 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: ogre and did not get treated like a princess. So 83 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: you just got shrecked, that's what. That's what. 84 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 2: So you got the tides got turned on. You essentially 85 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:19,520 Speaker 2: tried to do it and it failed. 86 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, I got shrecked. So even the guy who I 87 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: thought was beneath me still treated me like crap. I 88 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:25,239 Speaker 1: got shrecked. 89 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 2: Okay, Damn, they're related, but different okay, correct treking Okay, yep, 90 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,599 Speaker 2: shreking right again. I make sure we're on the same page. 91 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 2: This is an awful thing to do to somebody. 92 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 1: It's terrible. It's manipulative, and you're doing it so that 93 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 1: your ego gets filled. That's not love. That's manipulation. Yeah, 94 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 1: I think so, so yes, And that is not love, folks, 95 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 1: That is manipulation. That is me trying to make sure 96 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,599 Speaker 1: that I feel safe at all costs, even at the 97 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 1: cost of my partner. 98 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 2: The part this sucks is then somebody thinking that's funny, 99 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 2: like you're bragging about it allmost that part is that's 100 00:04:58,680 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 2: that's tough. 101 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: All right. So so the second dating trend is called 102 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 1: bank seeing. 103 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 2: I saw that kind of doing. Okay, what bank see is. 104 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 1: The artist, correct, the street artist who's known for mysterious art. 105 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:14,839 Speaker 1: It pops up and then it goes away. 106 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,479 Speaker 2: The dating a dating trend. Okay, So can we go 107 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 2: with that? Is it possible? This is my guess. Is 108 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:25,160 Speaker 2: it a trend of doing just that, of being there 109 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 2: one minute and then. 110 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: Poof, yes, disappearance, Yes, you nailed it. In the context 111 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 1: of dating, bank seeing refers to a calculated and planned 112 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: breakup the person who dumps distances themselves in their partner 113 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: for some time, and that abruptly announces a breakup. So 114 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,039 Speaker 1: you got bank seed. 115 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 2: Okay, that is very much a a narcissistic that's an 116 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 2: ego driving thing to where you don't want to be 117 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 2: held responsible for not wanting to be in the relationship, 118 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 2: so you distance yourself. You're essentially creating an excuse. 119 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 1: Correct, So you're distancing yourself. You're probably driving the other 120 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: person crazy trying to figure out what's going on. So 121 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: you're creating a mystery the other person. Yeah, the other 122 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 1: person has no idea what's going on, but they definitely 123 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,039 Speaker 1: feel the distance and they're starting to freak out and 124 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: panic and spiral. This is so mean and then just 125 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: abruptly and ounce of breakup like it was something that 126 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,720 Speaker 1: everyone was expecting, when actually no one was expecting it. 127 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: This coming right, So yeah, bank sing that's the thing, 128 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 1: and uh yeah right, I mean it's an appropriate name 129 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: for uh what happens? Okay, Uh, the next the next 130 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:33,160 Speaker 1: dating trend is actually a red flag. Gen z Ors 131 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: call this a red flag in relationships. It's called yap trapping. 132 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 1: What do you think that is? 133 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 2: This isn't a dating train as a flag. 134 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 1: It's a trend that people have seen while they're dating, 135 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,480 Speaker 1: and they're saying it's a red flag. 136 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, trapping, gapping, yapping has to do with talking and 137 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 2: running your mouth too much. You trap, we'll kind of 138 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:54,600 Speaker 2: trap you trapped, but you. 139 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 1: Yep, I don't know what is Yeah, I mean you 140 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: kind of nailed it. Yeap trapping when someone dominates a conversation, 141 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 1: not letting the other person share their thoughts or feelings. 142 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: Gen Z's call this a red flag and relationship. So 143 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: I'm dating a yap trapper. 144 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 2: Someone who doesn't even allow you. It's not just a 145 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 2: person that talks too much, it's like you really don't 146 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 2: get a say. 147 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: That's also to me a narcissistic quality where you actually 148 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: don't care at all what the other person thinks or believes. 149 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 2: Oh my god, you shouldn't have give me this one. 150 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: Yeah trapping, thanks so much, your yap trapping, bab gap 151 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 1: trapping me. Let's see how that works for you. All right? 152 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: This next, this is so interesting. I want to know 153 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: what you think this trend is. The next trend is 154 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: called a nanoship. What is a nanoship? 155 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:50,280 Speaker 2: It's a relationship that requires the absolute minimum amount of 156 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 2: effort from the other person. Is that right? 157 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 1: You got you got it? You got it pretty well. Okay, 158 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 1: So a nanoship means two people in a casual and 159 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 1: non committed connection where they enjoy each other's company with 160 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 1: zero expectations. Is a nanoship possible? 161 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 2: Sweetheart? This is just two people having sex. 162 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: But you can't even expect the sex. See, there's no expectations. 163 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: You're just you're just coming together in a casual and 164 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 1: non committed connection. That could just be going to a movie. 165 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 1: That it's a nanoship. That sounds like a hell landscape. 166 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:33,080 Speaker 1: We don't know what's going on. Well, it is a 167 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 1: dating trend, so yes, it could be sex, but it 168 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: doesn't specifically say it's just about sex. Yes, it is 169 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: the trend described two people being in a casual, non 170 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: committed connection where they enjoy each other's company with zero expectations. Fine, 171 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:53,719 Speaker 1: a nano chefs different. Now, there's no how is that 172 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 1: actually possible? Do you think it's possible to actually be 173 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:57,679 Speaker 1: in a long term nanoship? 174 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,960 Speaker 2: Yes, friends with benefits is what they used to call it. 175 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I guess the friendship is even not expected. 176 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:08,719 Speaker 1: Like again, this sounds like zero expectations is zero? It's 177 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:09,840 Speaker 1: even lower than that. 178 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, they're just putting names and labels on these 179 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 2: things now, all right, all right? 180 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: So here here is the fifth dating trend to see 181 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,359 Speaker 1: if you know what this means. It's called cushioning. 182 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's gonna mean so much dating somebody? 183 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 2: Is this a rebound situation? Have anything to do with rebound? 184 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: It's closely related, but not exactly. 185 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 2: About this guest, A little bit do with maybe dating 186 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,440 Speaker 2: someone who is going to be a not going to 187 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 2: be a long term thing, but maybe a soft landing, 188 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,559 Speaker 2: if you will, after you went through something difficult with 189 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 2: somebody else. 190 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,679 Speaker 1: I could see why you would think that. And it's 191 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: closely related. Okay. So cushioning is a trend that means 192 00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 1: keeping someone as a backup option, safety net in case 193 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,680 Speaker 1: your primary relationship doesn't work out. So it's like a 194 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 1: side piece. Basically, you're cushioning a relationship. You've got a cushion. 195 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 1: You've got another person who's your backup plan if your 196 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 1: primary relationship doesn't work out. 197 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 2: Damn that's so, who are all cushioning? Which one? 198 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:18,120 Speaker 1: Well? 199 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 2: You're with, or the one you're got on stand by. 200 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: No, the one on standby is being cushioned. You're cushioning 201 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,679 Speaker 1: that person. So it's like you're you're that person's cushion. 202 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,719 Speaker 1: So just in case things get ugly in the primary relationship, 203 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: you've got your backup plan. It's got your cushion. So 204 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,559 Speaker 1: there are women or there are men who might be thinking, 205 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 1: am I being cushioned? 206 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 2: Do you have a cushion? 207 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:38,560 Speaker 1: Hell no, I don't. 208 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 2: Am I your cousion. 209 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: You're my primary and my only, my one and only. 210 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 2: Then you wouldn't have said primary. People only say primary. 211 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: Stop stop trying to make something where they're. 212 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 2: Not making anything. I'm listening to what you say. I 213 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 2: don't have a primary woman, You know that right, You're 214 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 2: not my primary, You're my one. Introduce he this is row? 215 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:00,880 Speaker 2: Is this my primary? 216 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 1: Is there is there ever a situation when that in 217 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 1: which that is acceptable? Only if both parties know yes, acceptable. 218 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,320 Speaker 2: Knock yourself out, that's what you want to do. If 219 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:14,680 Speaker 2: everybody's on the same page. No, that's never oka. 220 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: I was actually just watching couple's therapy and it's not 221 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 1: a throuple because the man has his primary relationship and 222 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 1: then he definitely and she's a secondary and she knows it. 223 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 1: Both women know it. They aren't together, so there's no 224 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:33,839 Speaker 1: throuble in that sense. But I was fascinated by having 225 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 1: someone be fully okay with being basically an acknowledged and 226 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:43,079 Speaker 1: accepted secondary relationship. 227 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,719 Speaker 2: And the two women acknowledge as well, which one of 228 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 2: them is the process? 229 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: Which one, yes, I did. I just saw that in 230 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: a recent couple's therapy and I was blown away by that. Okay, 231 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:56,959 Speaker 1: so we have five more dating trends to get through. 232 00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:00,080 Speaker 1: I want to know if you all just start thinking 233 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 1: before the break, if you think you know what a 234 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 1: micromance is, do you know what loud crushing is? What 235 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 1: about freak matching? Before we go to break, I have 236 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 1: to tell you about new leggings I've been living in lately. 237 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 1: They're from this brand called Tona, and fun fact here, 238 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 1: they were actually designed by the same visionary behind Lululemon, 239 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 1: So from that alone, you already know they're going to 240 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,560 Speaker 1: be pretty good. These leggings feel like a second skin. 241 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 1: They're super flattering, super comfortable, and somehow still supportive. I've 242 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 1: been wearing them on my morning runs and they've quickly 243 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 1: become my everyday lounging leggings too. And here's what makes 244 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,680 Speaker 1: them even better. Every pair you buy helps fund a 245 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 1: mental health counseling session for a teen in need. Tona's 246 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 1: on a mission to end teen suicide and self harm, 247 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,320 Speaker 1: which we think is so important and incredible, So we've 248 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,960 Speaker 1: partnered with Tona to give you twenty percent off your 249 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 1: order and free shipping. Head to tonaactive dot com and 250 00:12:55,880 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 1: use code iHeart for twenty percent off and free shipping. 251 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: Welcome back to this edition of Amy and TJ. We're 252 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 1: having some fun here trying to understand and actually we're 253 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 1: testing TJ's knowledge if he knows what all the latest 254 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 1: dating trends are for a lot of this comes from 255 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 1: gen Zers and maybe soon to be Jen Alpha's. 256 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 2: And I'm learned that I might be being cushioned right now. 257 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:38,439 Speaker 1: You are not stop. Yes, you are my guy, period. 258 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 1: There's no one else. 259 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 2: Stop. 260 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 1: All right, So we're going to go on to number six. 261 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,319 Speaker 1: He squeeze. We're going to move on to number six 262 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 1: in the dating trends. This one is called future proofing. 263 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: What do you think future proofing means? 264 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,200 Speaker 2: Is a dating trend? 265 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:56,160 Speaker 1: Yes? 266 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 2: Do you do it to somebody? Do you future trend? 267 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 2: Do it to somebody? But you're doing it by your 268 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 2: own action, I'm. 269 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: F sure correct to your relationship. Yeah, I am. 270 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:09,960 Speaker 2: Future trending my relationship by is it? Am I making 271 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 2: decisions foreign advance or maybe to advance of this relationship 272 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,679 Speaker 2: and maybe getting ahead of myself and some of the 273 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 2: decisions I'm making a little bit. 274 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: I mean, that's part of it. So the actual definition 275 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 1: for future proofing when someone tries to future proof their 276 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 1: relationship by looking for partners who are emotionally stable, financially secure, 277 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 1: and have aligned goals. This trend prioritize stability and commitment, 278 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 1: so you're not necessarily looking for the butterflies or for 279 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: that person who is gonna, you know, make your heart sing. 280 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: You're actually being very strategic in who you're looking for. 281 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 1: You're looking for someone who is going to be stable, 282 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:54,480 Speaker 1: who's going to be committed, who's financially in a good place, 283 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 1: and so you will feel safe. So it's it's future proofing. 284 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,160 Speaker 1: So you are looking for that person who you think 285 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 1: you will have a stable, successful relationship with. 286 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,080 Speaker 2: Isn't that called mature dating? 287 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: It could be called mature dating as well, but I 288 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,120 Speaker 1: still think there are people. Let's just be honest. You're 289 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 1: looking for butterflies, You're looking for that head over heels 290 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 1: that I can't stand to be without them feeling, and 291 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 1: that those two things don't necessarily go together. So you're 292 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 1: actually actively saying, I am future proofing when you're dating. 293 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: I want to make sure I know this person is 294 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 1: going to be there for me, and I'm going to 295 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: pick the kind of person who will be. 296 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 2: But it sounds like you're having to compromise or settle 297 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 2: on the other thing. Can't the two things go hand 298 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 2: and in they. 299 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,720 Speaker 1: Can, but it's not the priority. The priority is the 300 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 1: future proofing. 301 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,360 Speaker 2: Shouldn't the priority be the future proofing. 302 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: Some would argue that it should be. 303 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 2: I'm arguing that maybe as yet, that might. 304 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 1: Be a more logical way, but it isn't necessarily the 305 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 1: romantic way or the emotional way to go forward. 306 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 2: Actually, that doesn't work. 307 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,160 Speaker 1: That just sounds like a business partnership. 308 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 2: It is, and then businesses fail daily exactly. 309 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's I think that's something that sounds 310 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: good on paper future but it actually is not good 311 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 1: in practice. 312 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 2: But if you can stay focused on that, if that 313 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,960 Speaker 2: is your priority in finding a mate that could be 314 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 2: your priority in every year of your marriage and saying 315 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 2: this is a solid partnership because we have a good 316 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 2: thing going a good business if you will in terms 317 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 2: of me and him, incorporate it, if you will. So 318 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,560 Speaker 2: if you stay focused in the love and you don't 319 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,280 Speaker 2: have to have butterfly, maybe that can work. 320 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 1: I if it works, whoever figures it out, like, I 321 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 1: appreciate that that works for you. So yes, this is 322 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 1: a trend now called future proofing, where like it just 323 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: there is an intention behind the dating. All right, I 324 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 1: wonder if you're gonna get this one because it sounds 325 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: like one thing and it's actually another. That's a hint. 326 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 1: But this dating trend of having a micromance. 327 00:16:54,480 --> 00:17:01,600 Speaker 2: Micromance, okay, techo. Logically, it's a relationship something micro. It 328 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:06,240 Speaker 2: seems focused, it seems small. Is there as a relationship 329 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 2: that's too puts too much emphasis of focus on one 330 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:09,360 Speaker 2: particular thing. 331 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,920 Speaker 1: You've got the focus right, You've got the small right. 332 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,400 Speaker 1: But it's a little bit different. The term micromance means 333 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 1: focusing on small and meaningful gestures that are romantic, for example, 334 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:26,400 Speaker 1: sharing memes or taking walks like you are focused on 335 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,320 Speaker 1: the small things that make your romance what it is, 336 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,239 Speaker 1: which I actually think is cool. I was thinking it 337 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,359 Speaker 1: was a short lived romance, like I'll just have a 338 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,240 Speaker 1: short powerful romance. That's not what it is at all. 339 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,400 Speaker 1: It's actually about being intentional about those small, meaningful things 340 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,399 Speaker 1: you can do in the middle of your romance. So 341 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,960 Speaker 1: you're focused on you want a micromance where you want 342 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,480 Speaker 1: people to really or your partner and you to actually 343 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,360 Speaker 1: focus on all the little meaningful things. 344 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 2: That make right positive. 345 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think this is actually one of the best 346 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,879 Speaker 1: dating trends, the fact that there's even this acknowledgment that 347 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 1: it is those small little things that make people feel 348 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 1: special and actually foster a romance. So I love that one, 349 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:03,240 Speaker 1: all right? Or eight, here's the next dating trend. It's 350 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:07,200 Speaker 1: called on the same page. 351 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,120 Speaker 2: Yep, Okay, I got nothing there. 352 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 1: Okay. Two people who bond over shared passions or hobbies. 353 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 1: This trend is all about the importance of shared interests 354 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,480 Speaker 1: in building compatibility. So your focus when you're dating is 355 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 1: to find somebody who is on the same page as you. 356 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,359 Speaker 2: Ooh do we have that? 357 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: Well on a lot of things, and look, I think 358 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:28,879 Speaker 1: it can be good and it can be bad. You 359 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 1: don't want someone who's on the same page as you. 360 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: You somehow you think you're gonna avoid conflict or avoid 361 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,960 Speaker 1: different opinions. You're never gonna find somebody who's on the 362 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 1: same page with you. But I think on some big 363 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 1: things on hobbies that can be really bonding, like running, 364 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,919 Speaker 1: we're on the same page with running, horror movies, on 365 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,960 Speaker 1: the same page with horror movies, and those two things 366 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 1: take up a lot of our time, if we're being honest, 367 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 1: and to be able to have that shared interest creates 368 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 1: a bonding and a connection. So people want to look 369 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 1: for somebody who's on the same page as them. 370 00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 2: That makes sense. I was thinking of it as a 371 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,919 Speaker 2: matter of what happens when you can no longer be 372 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 2: distracted by the hiking trip or the biking trip or 373 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,119 Speaker 2: the mountain climbing. Whence somebody gets injured. Is the relationship 374 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:10,560 Speaker 2: we go away? 375 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:10,920 Speaker 1: Right? 376 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,440 Speaker 2: Do you depend too much? Can you? Can there be 377 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 2: a threat in depending too much on those things to 378 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,440 Speaker 2: drive you and then one day you realize, oh, this 379 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 2: was the. 380 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,160 Speaker 1: Only thing that we had in comment Yeah, I mean, 381 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,879 Speaker 1: I think, yeah, it's I think I do like the 382 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 1: idea of finding someone who you're compatible with, and that 383 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,760 Speaker 1: is easy to determine if you have shared interests. So 384 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 1: I think that could be definitely a positive thing. But yes, 385 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 1: there could be some cautionary tale to that as well. 386 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,440 Speaker 1: All Right, do you know what loud crushing is. 387 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 2: I'm gonna guess is a social media involved in the Yes? Okay? 388 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 2: Is that involved with going overboard if you will, or 389 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:53,320 Speaker 2: out of your way to declare to the world how 390 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:57,439 Speaker 2: you feel about this person you're either in or a 391 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 2: relationship with, or pursuing a relationship with. 392 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:04,320 Speaker 1: Ding Ding, You nailed it. Yes, open openly celebrating your 393 00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 1: crush or partner on social media, sharing the excitement of 394 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 1: new relationships. Loud crushing, you do. I'm like, please stop 395 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,680 Speaker 1: posting about me. I mean, I just it's embarrassing. Now 396 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:14,600 Speaker 1: I'm not that great. 397 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,679 Speaker 2: I'm just so excited. 398 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,679 Speaker 1: Do you know what? Do you know what I think of? 399 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 1: What I know? This has nothing to do with social media. 400 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,439 Speaker 1: This is wee before social media. But I always think 401 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 1: of Tom Cruise jumping on the couch with Oprah Winfrey 402 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,639 Speaker 1: loud crushing Katie Holmes. 403 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 2: That was loud crushing. 404 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,119 Speaker 1: I mean, it's like he that was ridiculous, and it 405 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,879 Speaker 1: seemed it didn't seem real. He was jumping up and 406 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,160 Speaker 1: down on a couch a grown man. 407 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 2: Your that's too much down the couch. No, nope, not 408 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 2: excited because he's excited about being in a relationship with you. 409 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 1: Nope. 410 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:50,399 Speaker 2: All right, well I'll keep my excitement myself again. 411 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,440 Speaker 1: Please stop with the social media post, babe. Okay, it's 412 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 1: just too much. It's embarrassing, all right. The final one 413 00:20:55,960 --> 00:21:00,879 Speaker 1: drum roll number tend dating trend. Here it's called freak matching. 414 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,119 Speaker 1: What do you think it is? 415 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 2: Okay? Is this dating someone who matches your particular maybe 416 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 2: odd or out of the mainstream interests, whether that is 417 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,920 Speaker 2: maybe you like free con. 418 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:23,359 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, exactly one hundred percent. According to this trend, 419 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:27,560 Speaker 1: a person finds someone who shares their unique interests. It's 420 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 1: about finding like minded partners. So yes, the more odd, 421 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,879 Speaker 1: the more curious. Yes, does my freak match your freak? 422 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,119 Speaker 1: Like that kind of a thing. 423 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 2: That is interesting? Our freaks match? 424 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,120 Speaker 1: I I do. I mean I think that's where people 425 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,200 Speaker 1: would say the horror movie because people don't understand people 426 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 1: who don't like horror movies do not understand anyone who 427 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 1: does like that's so just no like odd interests like 428 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 1: you and I both love dungeons and dragons, or we 429 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,879 Speaker 1: both are obsessed with some like video game that's like whatever, 430 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 1: it's some weird not even weird, but yes it could 431 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:06,919 Speaker 1: be unique, odd, different, but the two of you get it, 432 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 1: and you get it in each other. 433 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,600 Speaker 2: Around the world for Pokemon tournaments. 434 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,520 Speaker 1: There you go. That would be freak matching, so you know, 435 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,119 Speaker 1: to each his own. I think it's fun when they 436 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 1: put these phrases and these coin these hashtags around some 437 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:21,840 Speaker 1: of these dating trends. But the truth is, as you 438 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: kind of pointed out at the beginning, they're all they've 439 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 1: been around forever. There's nothing new that's happening. We just 440 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 1: have new ways of explaining some of these dating trends. 441 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,120 Speaker 1: And I think in that sense it's good because we're 442 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 1: talking about them, acknowledging them and the flaws behind some 443 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 1: of them, and maybe even the good that comes from 444 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 1: a lot of them. 445 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,520 Speaker 2: And it's just always good to be on the lookout. 446 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 2: That's okay. I mean, some of these have funny names 447 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 2: and all these things, but they are worth your time. 448 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,119 Speaker 2: And again, this was kind of fun. We're having a 449 00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,120 Speaker 2: good time with but and I expected to sit down 450 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 2: and just have a good time, but we go through 451 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 2: the Wow, this is really important stuff, right, Just about 452 00:22:55,480 --> 00:23:00,720 Speaker 2: every single one of them has impacted my relationship life 453 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 2: in some way, and maybe all of them even with you. 454 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. So it's it's fun to stay up with 455 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,639 Speaker 1: the young folks, but also to recognize some of the 456 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 1: habits that we all fall into and maybe the ones 457 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 1: that we should let go of. And with that, everyone, 458 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,040 Speaker 1: thank you so much for listening to us. I'm Amy 459 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:23,640 Speaker 1: Robach along with TJ. Holmes. Have a great day.