1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,320 Speaker 1: Please submit you're a strawberry letter to Steve Harvey FM 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry letter. We could be reading your 3 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:09,039 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:14,200 Speaker 1: this one. Hold on tight, we got it for you. 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,639 Speaker 1: Hibbertes the Strawberry letter. You're excited about this letter? I 6 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 1: see all right, here we go. Yeah, subject. She can 7 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: have a side piece, but I can't. Dear Stephen Shirley, 8 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,920 Speaker 1: I am a sixty year old man and I have 9 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: been married for sixteen years. My wife is thirteen years 10 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: younger than I am, and we don't see eye to 11 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: eye on a serious issue. In the beginning, our sex 12 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 1: life was great, but over the years we simmered down 13 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,480 Speaker 1: a bit. A year ago, I went through a very 14 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 1: serious health issue and during that time our sex life suffered. 15 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: I made a full recovery, and when I was ready 16 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: for some action, my wife was acting like she was 17 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,840 Speaker 1: afraid to touch me. I had to beg for sex, 18 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,120 Speaker 1: and when we did do it, it wasn't very exciting. 19 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: One day I just told her that I was not 20 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: being satisfied, and she told me that while I was sick, 21 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,320 Speaker 1: she found other ways to get a little pleasure. She 22 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: told me She had always been attracted to one of 23 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: her female friends, but she suppressed her feelings until recently. 24 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: She told me that she enjoys being with this chick 25 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: and will not stop seeing her, but she does still 26 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: love me and hopes this doesn't break up our marriage. 27 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 1: Not to be totally honest, I have a younger female 28 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,680 Speaker 1: friend that I see once a week for some really 29 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 1: great sex. So I guess we were both keeping a secret. 30 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 1: I told my wife all about my chick on the side, 31 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: and she got very upset. She told me that she 32 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 1: will not allow me to have an affair on her. 33 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 1: She said that I could fall in love with my 34 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: side chick and leave her for this younger girl. I 35 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 1: told her that's not the case, but she gave me 36 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: an ultimatum that I have to stop seeing my side 37 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:03,000 Speaker 1: chick or she'll file for divorce. This makes no sense 38 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: to me. Why should I leave my side chick if 39 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 1: she is not willing to leave hers. She's got a 40 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: lot of nerve. What should I do? Well, obviously, you 41 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: can't have it both ways. I mean, your wife isn't 42 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: going to stand for it, even though even though your 43 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: wife is seeing someone on the side too. Your wife 44 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: is cheating too. Somehow I feel, and this may be 45 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: the key point here, sometimes how I feel like you 46 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: know she thinks because she's seeing a woman and not 47 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 1: a man, that it's not cheating, because she kind of 48 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: alluded to it in the letter when she said, you know, 49 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 1: she enjoys seeing the side chick she's not gonna see her, 50 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: and that you're not gonna have an affair on her. 51 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: It doesn't seem to look like she thinks that she's 52 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 1: actually having an affair, but she is. This is still cheating. 53 00:02:56,080 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 1: She's still bringing another person into the marriage. So you 54 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,919 Speaker 1: have options too. You can call her bluff and tell 55 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: her that she has to stop seeing her side chick 56 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: or you'll divorce her. How about that She's not the 57 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: only one who can give ultimatums in this marriage. But 58 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,920 Speaker 1: both of you, guys, are wrong, and two wrongs do 59 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 1: not make a right. You're wrong for cheating on your 60 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: wife and she's wrong for cheating on you. Your marriage 61 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 1: needs are a reset, a reboot. You need to start 62 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 1: over if you can in this particular situation, which means 63 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 1: both of you need to stop. Your wife says she 64 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 1: still loves you, and if you still love her, maybe 65 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: there is a chance to save your marriage. You know, 66 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: maybe you both are gonna. Let me just say this. 67 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: In order to do that, you both are gonna have 68 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: to let your side pieces go, your wife and you. Okay, 69 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: shut up, Tommy, You're gonna have to do that. You're 70 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: gonna have to let that go and concentrate and work 71 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: on your marriage. That's the only way this is going 72 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: to work. Steve, all right, let me jump right into 73 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 1: this letter because this is ignorant, Tommy. I know this 74 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: is what you've been waiting on. But sorry, I'm gonna 75 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: go ahead the subject. She can have a side piece, 76 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 1: but I can't. Now, we got a sixty year old 77 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: man here that's been married for sixteen years to his 78 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 1: wife who's thirteen years younger than him, and they got 79 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: a problem because in the beginning their sex life was 80 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: great and then over the years he say it simme 81 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 1: it down. And then something happened to the brother. He 82 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: went through some serious health issues. I don't know what 83 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: that was. But I don't know if he had a 84 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: heart attack. I don't know if he I don't know 85 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,359 Speaker 1: what happened. I don't ain't any number they could happen. 86 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 1: I don't but something to hell happening serious healthy and 87 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: during that time they sex life hit a dry spell. 88 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,719 Speaker 1: It to suffer. So then the dude say, he fully 89 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: came out of the healthy you and he ready for 90 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,599 Speaker 1: some action, but his wife started acting funny. She didn't 91 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 1: want to touch it. So then he say he got 92 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: a beg to get some action in the bedroom. So 93 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 1: then when they finally do, he say he didn't like 94 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:17,480 Speaker 1: it wasn't exciting, And then he finally told her he 95 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 1: ain't being satisfied. Well, she said, she told him, well, 96 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:28,359 Speaker 1: why you was sick? Damn shee the redding vials just 97 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: starting to go out the window. Time through remember that 98 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:36,480 Speaker 1: vile and say through sickness in health or through through 99 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: sickness and in health. Well, she said, she said why 100 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: he was sick? She found other ways for a little pleasure. 101 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,039 Speaker 1: Now he go to kick her. She said she was 102 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: always attracted to one of her female friends, but she 103 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 1: didn't want to act on it because they was married. 104 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,159 Speaker 1: But now she didn't. Told the dude that she enjoyed 105 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 1: being with this and will not stop seeing her. She 106 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: told him that, but then she said, but she still 107 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 1: loved me and hope this don't break up our marriage. Wow? 108 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: What what marriage is she talking? But I lost the 109 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:23,320 Speaker 1: marriage thing when the man got sick and you started 110 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:28,719 Speaker 1: sleeping with your girlfriend. All right, Steve, hang on, we 111 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: got a problem. Sixty year old man he married sixteen years, 112 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,839 Speaker 1: his wife thirteen younger than him. They had some cool 113 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 1: sex life, then he got to some problems with his health. Uh, 114 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 1: he got sick, then he got healed and he ready 115 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 1: for action, but his wife don't want to be bothered 116 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 1: no more. And finally he confronted her with him not 117 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 1: being satisfied because he got to beg for it. She 118 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: snaps off and tell him, while you were sick, I 119 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 1: found other ways of pleasure myself, he said. How she said, 120 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: I've always been attracted to my girlfriend, but I ain't 121 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: act on it now. She told me that she enjoyed 122 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 1: being with this chick and that she's not gonna stop 123 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: seeing her. But she told her man she still loves him, 124 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: and I hope this don't break up our marriage. Now 125 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,840 Speaker 1: here's the part we gotta get to, he said. Now, 126 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 1: to be totally honest with you, I have a younger 127 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 1: female friend that I see once a week for some 128 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 1: really great sex. So I guess we're both keeping a secret. 129 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 1: She ain't keeping a secret. Dog, she told you she's 130 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: sleeping with her girlfriend. This is where the letter gets 131 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 1: very confusing to me. He said, I guess we're both 132 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 1: keeping a secret. So they get what this fool did. 133 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: I told my wife all about my chick on the side, 134 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: and she got upset. Damn. She told me she would 135 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: not allow me to have an affair on her. She 136 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 1: said that I could fall in love with this side 137 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 1: chicken leave her for this younger girl. I told her 138 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 1: that's not the case, so she gave me an ultimatum 139 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 1: that I gotta stop seeing my side chick or she 140 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: gonna file for divorce. This makes no sense to me. 141 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,720 Speaker 1: Why should I leave my side chick if she's not 142 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 1: willing to leave hers She's got a lot of nerves. 143 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 1: What should I do? Well, hey, stupid, let me talk 144 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 1: to your dumb ass for just a minute. This makes 145 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:34,319 Speaker 1: no sense to me. What I tell you? What don't 146 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 1: make no sense? What you tell a fault? Come on, 147 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 1: hire man, Thank now? What did you tell your wife 148 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 1: you was having a family with a younger chick once 149 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 1: a week? What possibly I could have made you go 150 00:08:53,360 --> 00:09:00,079 Speaker 1: into damn house and make that stupid ass announcement. You 151 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:09,199 Speaker 1: just pissed off everybody living us walking the house and 152 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:16,120 Speaker 1: who do that? Who do that? Who walks in the house, 153 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 1: and go, excuse me? I got a younger chick on 154 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: the side that I see once a week. This whole letter, 155 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 1: it just fell apart. It don't make no sense. It's 156 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: when he said he had this girl he see once 157 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: a week and said we both keeping secrets. And then 158 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,200 Speaker 1: your stupid ass right the next line, I told my 159 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: wife all about my chick on the side, and she 160 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 1: got very upset. Guess what he said after that. She 161 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 1: got a lot of nerves hold of dough. Oh hold up, 162 00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 1: wait a minute, excuse me, stop, she got a lot 163 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 1: of nerve. She got a lot of nerve. What now, 164 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 1: I understand, But that's what you say to yourself. You 165 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 1: don't say that. I'll loud thank you. So let me 166 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 1: just explain to you. What should I do is to question. 167 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 1: Listen to me, y'all, this is not a marriage. This 168 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: is not what this is. You all have some type 169 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,559 Speaker 1: of swinger type of arrangement that neither one of you 170 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:33,320 Speaker 1: agreed to, but both of you are participating in. So brother, 171 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 1: you don't have a marriage. You have an arrangement. That's all. 172 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: This is what you're tripping for your marriage over. She 173 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 1: got the chick on the side, and you got a 174 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 1: chick on the side. So what you're going tit for? Tat? Now? 175 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: She got a chick, you get a chick. So now 176 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,600 Speaker 1: what you're gonna do if she go get a dude? Hello, 177 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 1: let's make this announcement. She gotta do it. I wouldn't 178 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 1: got me a dude. Y'all playing too much. Now, let's 179 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:13,600 Speaker 1: end this. This relationship is over. Let's just get one 180 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:18,120 Speaker 1: of them non contested divorces seven hundred and fifty dollars. 181 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 1: Fill out the paperwork. Y'all have no assets. I can 182 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 1: promise you you don't have a house or nothing, because 183 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 1: you're all too busy doing stupid stuff. Nothing. Now it 184 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 1: ain't they an apartment somewhere? All right? Well, listen, email 185 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 1: us or instagram us your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter 186 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:41,720 Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey FM. One last thing, Shirley, you don't 187 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: walk in the house with a lot of assets and 188 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: tell your wife I gotta chick on the side. You 189 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 1: don't do that with that. I tell you that right now. 190 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:54,439 Speaker 1: I don't even with no friend, that's no lawyer, and 191 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:58,320 Speaker 1: you go to the hour no assets. If you walk 192 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,320 Speaker 1: in there, you have nothing. Also check out the Strawberry 193 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 1: Letter podcast. One of them little flat beds at the 194 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:13,760 Speaker 1: Chinese Bedroom fun time photo. Yeah you got and gold 195 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:18,760 Speaker 1: model and gold and you got a computer on an 196 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: Ikea table. All right, got we gotta get out of here. 197 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: Check out the Strutter on assets and Win it in 198 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:28,199 Speaker 1: told your wife you want a divorce? You check out 199 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the 200 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,199 Speaker 1: Stave Morning Show.