1 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff Mom Never Told You from how Stuff 2 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:13,640 Speaker 1: Works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm 3 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,159 Speaker 1: Caroline and I'm Kristen. Kristen. There's been a lot in 4 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: the news, not not lately, just I think in general 5 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 1: about our aging population. UM. You know, baby boomers getting older. 6 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: It could tax our health care system. It's also going 7 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:34,239 Speaker 1: to tax our caregivers. There's been a lot of studies 8 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: into this, this aging baby boomer population, but one population 9 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,240 Speaker 1: that hasn't really been looked at closely is the child 10 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 1: caregiver population. These are kids between about the ages of 11 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:49,560 Speaker 1: eight and eighteen who are caring for older people, whether 12 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: that's their parents or their grandparents in their own homes typically, 13 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: and they have kind of been overlooked. Yeah, there's been 14 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: more attention paid to child caregivers or young careers as 15 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 1: they're referred to UM in Australia and the u K. 16 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: But there's actually only been one large scale study conducted 17 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: in the US on our American young caregivers and their families, 18 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: and that was conducted in two thousand five by the 19 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: National Alliance for Caregiving in the United Hospital Fund, and 20 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,039 Speaker 1: it was actually commissioned in two thousand three by the 21 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: US Administration on Aging, because there was this recognition that, 22 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: like you said, there was this population out there of 23 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: kids who weren't getting any attention and kind of falling 24 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:40,319 Speaker 1: through the cracks precisely because they are kids taking care 25 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 1: of older people and don't necessarily have the same resources 26 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: to advocate for themselves, right. And the study really revealed 27 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: the size and scope of this group and focused on 28 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: their issues, their mental health issues, confidence issues, things that 29 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 1: they have to deal with in caring for older people. 30 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: And Josephine a Carbonel of Health and Human Service says said, 31 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: you know, they are aware that children have always played 32 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: this role in families, especially in minority communities, where they 33 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,800 Speaker 1: frequently act as interpreters and care for their siblings, you know, 34 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 1: not just older people, but siblings as well. And then 35 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: she goes on to say, but this report reveals that 36 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: a significant percentage of these children are providing much more 37 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: personal and complex, complex tasks. Yeah. And in talking to 38 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 1: USA Today about this, Gail Gibson Hunt, who's the president 39 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: of the National Coalition for Caregiving, says, this is a 40 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 1: failing of our health care system because, like you mentioned 41 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: at the top of the podcast, Caroline of this aging 42 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 1: population is putting more stress on the health care system. 43 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,360 Speaker 1: And as we'll look at the demographics of who these 44 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: child caregivers are, we see that they are having to 45 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:54,520 Speaker 1: fill in the gaps where there isn't enough income or 46 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: health insurance or medical resources to to take care of 47 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 1: these older people's medical needs. Yeah, and one person who 48 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 1: was actually recognized for her good work in this area 49 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 1: is Connie Salski. Excuse me. She's the head of the 50 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:13,640 Speaker 1: nonprofit American Association of Caregiving Youth. She was also just 51 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: named one of CNN's Top ten Heroes of and she 52 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: said in a CNN article, the kids don't have a voice, 53 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 1: so they need somebody to be their voice and their advocate. 54 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 1: When these children see the recognition they so deserve, along 55 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 1: with the academic and skill support they need, they were 56 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: able to remain in school and have confidence in themselves 57 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: and become basically healthy adults. Because one of the big 58 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:38,119 Speaker 1: issues is, you know, if you're some kid taking care 59 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 1: of your mom or your sister, or your grandmother somebody 60 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: like that, you might not have time to do all 61 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,400 Speaker 1: of the regular kid things you need to do, like 62 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: go to school or just play with your friends. Yeah. 63 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: And one of the reasons why Saskalski started that nonprofit 64 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: was because she was also a child caregiver um when 65 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: she was thirteen years old. In fact, she helped out 66 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: a lot taking care of her grandfather and sad story, 67 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 1: she actually found him dead when she went to give 68 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 1: him his medication, and obviously that had a huge impact 69 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 1: on her and a huge impact for motivating her to 70 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 1: start the American Association of Caregiving Youth. Well, yeah, so 71 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,559 Speaker 1: let's look at who these kids are and how many 72 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 1: there are, because, like Kristen mentioned, this two thousand five 73 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:29,839 Speaker 1: study is really the only big, large scale study of 74 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: these kids. And in the US, they found that the 75 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,840 Speaker 1: number of child caregivers is somewhere between one point three 76 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: and one point four million children between the ages of 77 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: eight and eighteen. And it's one thing. I mean, it's 78 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: stressful to be a kid in this situation, but I 79 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 1: can't imagine being an eight year old taking care of 80 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,919 Speaker 1: an older person. They also found that of the twenty 81 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: eight point four million households that have a child between 82 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: eight and eighteen living there, three point two percent have 83 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,480 Speaker 1: a child caregiver. Yeah, and to put that into a 84 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:06,160 Speaker 1: little bit of perspective, those numbers, Uh, it's roughly equivalent 85 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: to more than the total third through twelfth grade students 86 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: in New York, Chicago, and Washington, d C. Combined. UM. Now, 87 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: this is a tiny sliver of the overall like unpaid 88 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 1: caregiver population. You compare that one point three to one 89 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:27,159 Speaker 1: point four million kids to the forty four million plus 90 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:32,160 Speaker 1: unpaid adult caregivers. But nevertheless, that's still a significant population 91 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: when we consider the ages of you know who is 92 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: doing this unpaid work. Because the study also found that 93 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 1: there's a pretty even distribution among eight year olds through 94 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,720 Speaker 1: UM eighteen year olds about thirty thirty thirty, from eight 95 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,280 Speaker 1: to eleven year olds, twelve to fifteen year olds, and 96 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 1: sixteen to eighteen year olds. It's also pretty evenly split 97 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 1: between gender between male and female male versus fifty one 98 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,280 Speaker 1: percent female. For the gender of the caregivers, Uh, they 99 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: found that they tend to live in households with lower 100 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 1: incomes than do non caregivers. They're also less likely to 101 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: live in two parent households. That's s versus so, I mean, 102 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: if there's no one else in the home to care 103 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,479 Speaker 1: for the sick parent or sibling or grandparents it might 104 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: fall on the child right. And on top of that, 105 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:27,479 Speaker 1: a majority of the child caregivers were the only kid 106 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,040 Speaker 1: in their household, or at least the only They might 107 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: have had siblings, but they were the only ones who 108 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 1: had the responsibility of the household caregiving. So they might 109 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,480 Speaker 1: be the oldest among and have younger siblings as well, 110 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,480 Speaker 1: but sixty of them were the only ones in their 111 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:46,280 Speaker 1: house doing this kind of work. And who are they 112 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: taking care of, Caroline? Most of them are taking care 113 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 1: of a parent or grandparent, and out of that primarily 114 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: the mother and grandmother. Uh So seventy of those cared 115 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,720 Speaker 1: for our female and be has of that female caregivers 116 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,479 Speaker 1: are much more likely to be in the same sex 117 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 1: caregiving relationships, So a daughter caring for a mother or 118 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: grandmother as opposed to a son caring for, you know, 119 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: a father or grandfather. And in terms of the age 120 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:19,440 Speaker 1: of the these care recipients, as they are termed between 121 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 1: forty and fifty nine years old, those are probably the 122 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: parents and then are sixty to seventy nine years old, 123 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: and that's where that grandparent population probably comes in. Um 124 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: And in doing this research, I hadn't really thought about 125 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 1: it before. Even though it was a pretty significant part 126 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: of my life at the time. But when I was 127 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: in middle school, probably part of elementary school as well. Uh, 128 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 1: my great aunt actually came to live with my family, 129 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: and it was kind of an all hands on deck 130 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 1: effort to get her daily routine, um taken care of 131 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 1: in terms of getting the meal, taking her on walks, 132 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: or you know, if there was anything that she needed. 133 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: And there was actually a period of time when I 134 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 1: was being homeschooled and my mom had gone back to 135 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: work and from you know, during her work hours, like 136 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 1: my great aunt was my responsibility. And the good thing 137 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: is she was you know, she wasn't a handful and 138 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 1: there she didn't have a severe medical condition to where 139 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: you know, they were leaving me with something that I, 140 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,200 Speaker 1: as at that age, wouldn't be able to take care of. 141 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: It was simply making lunch, watching matlock together, things like that. 142 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 1: Um so so yeah, I guess I'm part of this population. Interesting. 143 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 1: How long does she live with you guys? She lived 144 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 1: with us for a long time. Um, I don't know, 145 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 1: maybe six years, seven years. Uh yeah, I would actually 146 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,560 Speaker 1: have to go back and ask my mom. I can't 147 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 1: remember precisely. Hong she lived with us UM but the 148 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,959 Speaker 1: most common conditions my great aunt came to live with 149 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,439 Speaker 1: us because she had had multiple strokes. But the most 150 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 1: common condition dealt with any situations are Alzheimer's or dementia 151 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:12,559 Speaker 1: UM and followed by heart, lung and kidney disease, arthritis, 152 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:16,479 Speaker 1: and then diabetes. Yes, and most of the child caregivers 153 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 1: do help the person that's they're taking care of with 154 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 1: at least one activity of daily living that's like bathing, dressing, 155 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: getting out of bed and stuff like that. Nearly all 156 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 1: the study found help with instrumental activities of daily living, 157 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 1: which is doing the shopping, the household tasks, and the 158 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: meal prep. So they looked at, you know, the task 159 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: that these kids are doing, and they found that caregivers 160 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,680 Speaker 1: who help with the normal activities of daily living, the 161 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:46,200 Speaker 1: A d L s perceived themselves as having more responsibility 162 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 1: than do non A d L caregivers and that they're 163 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 1: twice as likely to feel often that people expect too 164 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: much from them. And on top of performing those daily tasks. 165 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 1: And this was something that I did not have any 166 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:02,120 Speaker 1: ex aarens with us is something my parents completely took 167 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:05,079 Speaker 1: care of. But one out of six of these child 168 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:10,960 Speaker 1: caregivers actually will help uh the care recipient communicate with 169 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:15,319 Speaker 1: doctors or nurses. Fiercent of those twelve and older help 170 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,239 Speaker 1: make phone calls and arrangements for the care re scimpiens 171 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 1: to help care for the person. And also female caregivers 172 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: are more likely to spend time, on top of doing that, 173 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 1: taking care of siblings as well. Now that that sounds 174 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: completely exhausting, I mean all of these responsibilities for a 175 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,680 Speaker 1: young person, and that's true. That's not just me saying that. 176 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 1: Uh So. Researchers in the UK and Australia have done 177 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 1: a lot more studies and research into this than in 178 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 1: the US, and they have found that being a caregiver 179 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: is exhausting for these kids and they are more likely 180 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: to fall asleep in class and fall behind on assignments. 181 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:56,199 Speaker 1: Not only that, these kids tend to feel socially isolated 182 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: because you know, like we mentioned, they don't really have 183 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,200 Speaker 1: time to hang out or bring ends home like you know, 184 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,719 Speaker 1: non caregiver kids do. Uh At the two thousand five 185 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 1: studies showed that fewer of these caregiving kids report having 186 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,960 Speaker 1: a lot of time for themselves, so they're giving up 187 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: a lot of sort of there there being a kid, 188 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 1: time to take care grown ups. Yeah, I mean, and 189 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 1: this makes total sense because caregivers stress is extremely common 190 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 1: among those forty four million plus adults who are you know, 191 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 1: the unpaid caregivers in their home taking care of older parents, 192 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 1: UM and other adults. And for instance, like research has 193 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 1: found that for just adults, they're more likely to have 194 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: health problems with their own including heightened risk of depression, 195 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: taking more sick days, weaker immune response, lower wound healing, 196 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: higher rates of obesity, and higher risk of cognitive decline. 197 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 1: So of course we're going to see some related issues 198 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 1: among child caregivers. Now I don't think it's quite as 199 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 1: acute for most of them because the responsibilities placed on 200 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,480 Speaker 1: a majority of child caregivers are much less than the 201 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: ones that might be carried by the adults. UM. But 202 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,360 Speaker 1: like you said that, the main concern I think for 203 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 1: people when they're looking at this population is um, how 204 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:19,719 Speaker 1: that stresses affecting them and possible social social isolation is 205 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 1: affecting them during these very formative years. Because I think, uh, 206 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,560 Speaker 1: there's been some criticism of people from uh this is 207 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,719 Speaker 1: more going on in the UK saying hey, we don't 208 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 1: need to like victimize these kids. You know, children are 209 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: very resilient, they can do these things. We don't need to, 210 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,679 Speaker 1: you know, paint them as like what is me? Their 211 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 1: parents are bad for not hiring a nurse to come 212 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,080 Speaker 1: in and do this for them. But the statistics do 213 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 1: clearly show that, um, there are some more negative behaviors 214 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:55,119 Speaker 1: linked to being a child caregiver, right, just like anxiety 215 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,800 Speaker 1: and depression. The two thousand five study brought this up 216 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 1: and was confirmed in a twin twelve study in the 217 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 1: Journal of Behavioral Health Services and Research that these kids 218 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 1: are more likely to feel, at least sometimes that no 219 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: one loves them, and this is particularly evident among kids 220 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: eight to eleven. Young caregivers are more likely to complain 221 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: that they feel worthless or inferior at least sometimes, and 222 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 1: that age group. The older age group twelve to eighteen 223 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,600 Speaker 1: year olds, are slightly more likely than non caregivers to 224 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:25,320 Speaker 1: have sudden mood changes. So there's there's a lot of 225 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,440 Speaker 1: anxiety there when you're sort of when the role is 226 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 1: reversed child and child had grown up. Yeah, and I 227 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 1: can definitely attest to frustration that can come with having 228 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,959 Speaker 1: to take care of an older person. In that situation, 229 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,679 Speaker 1: and it's confusing when you're a kid because you know 230 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:48,679 Speaker 1: that you're supposed to love this older person and respect them, 231 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: especially for me, Like I remembered my great aunt from 232 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 1: times when uh, you know, she was fully able bodied 233 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 1: and she always got us really neat Christmas presents and 234 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,079 Speaker 1: gave us, you know, Eskimo pies, and I always look 235 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 1: forward to going to her house and it was a 236 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 1: completely different experience having to take care of her. So 237 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 1: I think there's a lot to be said there for 238 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 1: that role reversal, as you put it. And um, because 239 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 1: of that, well, you'll see a lot of escape behaviors 240 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: that can happen among child caregivers basically like wanting to 241 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 1: kind of get away from the situation, take a break 242 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 1: if they can. Yeah, and that's definitely an outlet. I mean, 243 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:35,480 Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with behaviors like reading for hours, going 244 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 1: for walks, you know, going to play outside and stuff 245 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 1: like that. It's just when those escape behaviors take up 246 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 1: a lot of time, when they're spending inordinate amounts of 247 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 1: time by themselves, that it becomes it sort of just 248 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,600 Speaker 1: gets in the way of them forming relationships with other 249 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 1: kids or maybe bonding with the other members of their family, 250 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 1: stuff like that. Well, and as they grow up, there 251 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,520 Speaker 1: were there were anecdotes of this in the articles that 252 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 1: we read about child caregivers among these older teens and 253 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 1: who are now becoming full fledged adults, of avoiding marriage, 254 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 1: not really wanting to start a family of their own 255 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: because of a certain feeling of responsibility, but also residual 256 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 1: guilt of if they start their own life and move away, 257 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,920 Speaker 1: then who's going to take care of this person? You know, 258 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 1: you have to stay close to them exactly. Well, I 259 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,760 Speaker 1: mean we've we've talked about all the anxiety, the depression, 260 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 1: you know, the the escape behaviors. Is there anything positive 261 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,160 Speaker 1: that comes from young people taking care of their elders? Absolutely? Um, 262 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 1: I mean, there is evidence that a lot of these 263 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:43,200 Speaker 1: kids grow up to be more mature and responsible adults 264 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 1: who are closely connected to their families. Yeah, these kids 265 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,960 Speaker 1: do show evidence of high self self esteem, more empathy, 266 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,600 Speaker 1: and a strong sense of belonging to their family. And 267 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 1: a lot of them actually grow up and go into 268 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,360 Speaker 1: the healthcare or social work field, so they just transition 269 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: what they're used to at home into a career of 270 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 1: caring for other people. Yeah, and I think that it 271 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 1: is important to to recognize that there are positives from this, 272 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: because when a majority of these households are earning less 273 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 1: than dollars and you're in a single parent situation a 274 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 1: majority of the time, it's also clear that it's not 275 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 1: it's not adults doing bad things to kids and putting 276 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 1: too much responsibility on kids, although I'm sure that certainly happens. 277 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 1: But in the big picture, I think, like Gail Gibson 278 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,800 Speaker 1: from the National Alliance of Caregiving said, this is a 279 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:44,360 Speaker 1: bigger conversation about health care and how our communities support 280 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,920 Speaker 1: each other and an entire network that ends up being 281 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: filtered down to sometimes a child. So in these situations, 282 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:58,480 Speaker 1: when you have a young caregiver, what what can you 283 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:02,440 Speaker 1: do to mitigate the risk? Well, Leanne Austin, who's a nurse, 284 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 1: wrote for Today's Caregiver about her own experience um with 285 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,160 Speaker 1: her children having to take care of her and she 286 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 1: actually was taking care of her mother at one point. 287 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:15,120 Speaker 1: She says that it's really important to communicate clearly with 288 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 1: your children or with your young caregiver in the house. 289 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:19,879 Speaker 1: She said that they need to know that they're not 290 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,119 Speaker 1: responsible for the adults or the siblings condition, because guilt 291 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 1: does play a significant role in the child's desire to 292 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,240 Speaker 1: be a caregiver. If they think that they could have 293 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,879 Speaker 1: done something better, if you know, they feel too guilty 294 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,439 Speaker 1: to go out and play with their friends, that they 295 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:35,160 Speaker 1: need to stay home. Provide simple and clear information about 296 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,640 Speaker 1: the condition and talk about it, but just not all 297 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 1: the time. It's not really dinner table conversation. You want 298 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 1: to let your kids know that, you know what this 299 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,080 Speaker 1: isn't all there is to life. Yes, you're helping me 300 00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 1: a lot by taking out the garbage or you know, 301 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:49,919 Speaker 1: making the beds or whatever you're doing, but you're also 302 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 1: you know, life is going on. This is not the 303 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 1: only thing that that we're about. Yeah, And she also 304 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: encourages adults to remain as independent as possible to diminish 305 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 1: possibility of the role conflict that we've talked about and 306 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 1: keeping in mind like what our age appropriate tasks for kids. 307 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:11,920 Speaker 1: I mean, I helped make a sandwich and put cottage 308 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 1: cheese on a plate that was very age appropriate for 309 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 1: a middle schooler to do, right, folding laundry, feeding Fido, 310 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: stuff like that. It's it's different when you're you know, 311 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 1: having your kids try to lift you out of bed 312 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: and stuff like that exactly. And there are support groups 313 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:31,159 Speaker 1: out there and resources, um, such as the organization that 314 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:35,240 Speaker 1: we've mentioned before, the American Association of Caregiving Youth that 315 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,200 Speaker 1: it's based in Florida right now, but it focuses on 316 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:45,280 Speaker 1: finding these populations and helping them with like getting someone 317 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 1: in the house, like a medical professional in the house 318 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:52,680 Speaker 1: if necessary for regular visits, getting the kids transported to 319 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,399 Speaker 1: and from school, getting them tutoring help if needed, just 320 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 1: making sure that the support is there that they need. 321 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,960 Speaker 1: And there's also a Young Care Network in the UK 322 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,399 Speaker 1: and Australia because, like we mentioned before, they have done 323 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 1: a lot more looking into this young population. You know, 324 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 1: there was one quote from CNN about, um, you know, 325 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: people just kind of don't want to think about this, 326 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 1: Like they don't want to think about the bad situations 327 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 1: that can happen when kids are taking on all of 328 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:24,120 Speaker 1: this extra responsibility of being essentially like a nurse almost 329 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 1: for their family. I mean, depending on obviously the responsibilities 330 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,240 Speaker 1: that they have to take on, but this is definitely 331 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:33,280 Speaker 1: something that deserves more attention. These kids need help. Yeah, 332 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 1: and we've we've touched a lot on or framed the conversation. 333 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 1: I should say more in terms of adults in need 334 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 1: of medical care for things like Alzheimer's or kidney disease. 335 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 1: But addiction is also um one big reason why some 336 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,480 Speaker 1: children will end up in caregiver roles, and so the 337 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:57,520 Speaker 1: Latin branch of Alcoholics Anonymous is another resource for kids 338 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:01,400 Speaker 1: as well who are going through this. Yeah, so I'd 339 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 1: like to give a shout out and see you know 340 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,639 Speaker 1: what listeners have gone through, if they've taken care of 341 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: older people in the home like you did, or if 342 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,120 Speaker 1: it's been more of a long term thing, you know what, 343 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 1: what complications or or positives have come out of the situation. Yeah, 344 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,440 Speaker 1: and I bet we have listeners out there right now 345 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: who are might have an older person living in their 346 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 1: home and giving that daily care for them. So we'd 347 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,640 Speaker 1: love to hear from you. Share your stories with us. 348 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,119 Speaker 1: Mom Stuff at Discovery dot Com is where you can 349 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,639 Speaker 1: send them, or of course you can always head to 350 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:37,600 Speaker 1: our Facebook and share your story with everyone. Now, before 351 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 1: we get onto our listener letters, have got a quick 352 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,359 Speaker 1: word here from our sponsor bringing us this episode of 353 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 1: Stuff Mom Never Told You, which is Jack Threads dot com. Now, 354 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,920 Speaker 1: these seasons are changing, Caroline. 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He says 371 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:58,720 Speaker 1: that being from Russia myself, I thought I would write 372 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:02,199 Speaker 1: to you regarding the you So, I really think the 373 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,439 Speaker 1: fact that they were imprisoned has nothing to do with 374 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,000 Speaker 1: what they did, although the excuse of the government is there. 375 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,639 Speaker 1: Putin could be criticized and called a tyrant for a 376 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,720 Speaker 1: harsh sentence they received, But what he did was essentially 377 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 1: a political move. As you said, a vast majority of Russians, 378 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,919 Speaker 1: myself not included, did not support Pussy Riot's actions. This 379 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,360 Speaker 1: could be due to the conservative nature of the society 380 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 1: or a number of other reasons. Really, the fact that 381 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,399 Speaker 1: they were convicted was due to the fact that although 382 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 1: some Russians dislike Putin, they dislike the West even more. 383 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 1: You have said that some journalists have reported that the 384 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:39,400 Speaker 1: public thinks the band's actions are sponsored by the Western powers. 385 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 1: So he decided to show his solidarity with quote his 386 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:46,399 Speaker 1: people by sentencing them to prison. Otherwise he would have 387 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,000 Speaker 1: appeared weak. The next logical move for him is to 388 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 1: show his benevolence and release them with a smile on 389 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,400 Speaker 1: his face and expect their thanks for it. I may 390 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: be wrong, but this sort of logic is very typical 391 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:02,080 Speaker 1: of the circus that is called government in Russia today. 392 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 1: And a couple of additional points. He says LGBT rights 393 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:09,200 Speaker 1: are practically non existent in Russia. Their protests are violently suppressed, 394 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:13,000 Speaker 1: whereas demonstrations of ultra right wing groups like skinheads are 395 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:17,560 Speaker 1: typically not touched at all, So thank you for the perspective, Dmitri. 396 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:22,119 Speaker 1: And I've got another email here about our Pussy Riot episode, 397 00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: and this is coming from Laura, and she writes, I 398 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,680 Speaker 1: was most interested in the overall Western take on the matter, 399 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,440 Speaker 1: as it strikes me how quick we are to forget 400 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,479 Speaker 1: our own history. Upon learning more about Pussy right from 401 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,640 Speaker 1: your lovely podcast, boy, thank you, I was immediately reminded 402 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 1: of the American guerrilla Girls from the twenties. I think 403 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,120 Speaker 1: it would be helpful for people to compare the two. 404 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,239 Speaker 1: While the quote unquote art the Gorilla Girls created and 405 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:48,520 Speaker 1: performed was indeed art in that it was expressing ideas, opinions, 406 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 1: and emotions, it was not art for expressions sake. When 407 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,040 Speaker 1: we look at Pussy Riot, we need to not think 408 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,320 Speaker 1: of them as a band creating music just for their 409 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 1: and others enjoyment, but a social and political movement for 410 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 1: women's rights, similar to our guerrilla masked women of the 411 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,879 Speaker 1: nineteen twenties, when America had our own women's rights phenomenon 412 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,040 Speaker 1: going on. I feel that by thinking back on the 413 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,320 Speaker 1: political and social situation for American women when in a 414 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 1: culture I can more easily relate to allows me to 415 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,359 Speaker 1: better see how Russians, supporters and non supporters of Pussy 416 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 1: Right alike must be feeling as their whole social and 417 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 1: political system is being freshly challenged in a way that 418 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,800 Speaker 1: is arguably old hat too. Americans and guerrilla girls are 419 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 1: still in existence today, and I'm not familiar with the 420 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: guerrilla girls from the nineteen twenties, so you might need 421 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:38,159 Speaker 1: to work into indeed. So in the meantime, thanks for 422 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,640 Speaker 1: all of your letters. Mom Stuff at discovery dot com 423 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 1: is where you can send them, And thanks for sharon 424 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 1: your insight with us on Facebook as well and tweeting 425 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,720 Speaker 1: us at mom Stuff podcast. Oh yeah, and for your 426 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 1: follows on Tumbler at stuff mom never told you dot 427 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: tumbler dot com. And if you'd like to get smarter 428 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,920 Speaker 1: during the week, why don't you head over to our website, 429 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:03,480 Speaker 1: it's how stuff Works. For more on this and thousands 430 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:10,680 Speaker 1: of other topics, visit how staff works dot com. MHM