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Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeart Radio.

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Speaker 2: Saren.

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Speaker 3: Hey, he's my favorite person who I do this show with?

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Speaker 3: Elizabeth Duntan.

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Speaker 2: How I'm good, I'm good. Listen. You know what's ridiculous

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Speaker 2: I do?

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Speaker 3: Okay? You know about my cinematic favorite route, Tom Cruise.

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Speaker 3: Yeah right, I put emphasis on that my favorite road.

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Speaker 3: So it's like it's continental because it's it's it should be.

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Speaker 3: It's more than American. This is my love is it's expanding.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why. It's much like the Mission Impossible series,

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Speaker 3: it's international, Like like, why, Liza, why do I love

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Speaker 3: Tom Cruise? Like I've told you before about the running

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Speaker 3: I love that. I told you about how he had.

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Speaker 2: Like pumps his little arms.

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Speaker 3: Yeah run, why did you talk about that? Was you

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Speaker 3: talking about that? He has a he had a fame

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Speaker 3: that I told you about the knee injury. And if

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Speaker 3: it wasn't for the knee injury wrestling, he wouldn't have

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Speaker 3: become a multi billion dollar movie star. Yeah. Think of

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Speaker 3: all the all those jobs he created because of that

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Speaker 3: one knee injury. Well, I've got another thing for you, Elizabeth,

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Speaker 3: and this is ridiculous. Tom Cruise, my cinematic guy. He's

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Speaker 3: a scientologist now, you know, right, But he didn't always

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Speaker 3: want to be a scientologist. But he and I have

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Speaker 3: a commonality. We both thought about becoming Catholic priests.

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Speaker 2: Oh he did, did he?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 2: And you did? I did.

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Speaker 3: I thought about joining the Seminary when I was a Jesuit.

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Speaker 3: I was. I thought about it. I was like, I

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Speaker 3: could totally be a priest. I could rocket to sit

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Speaker 3: there and do like math and like you know, sit

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Speaker 3: there in the castle. They're like, you don't do that anymore.

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Speaker 3: You can't be a monk. I was like, I can't

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Speaker 3: be like like my man Meerson. No, okay, probably could.

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Speaker 2: There's probably some monk positions open.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there's very few of them, though I think the

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Speaker 3: old guys would lock him down. Anyway. My point was

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Speaker 3: he got still time, I got knocked off my path.

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Speaker 3: You know how Tom Cruise got knocked off his path?

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Speaker 2: El Ron Hubbard hit him with a volcano.

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Speaker 3: No, he was at the Seminary. He took a step

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Speaker 3: further night did he actually getting like he signed up?

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Speaker 3: Was at the Seminary. But then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 3: like his Thomas Cruise just jumped out and He's like,

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Speaker 3: I gotta run, and he ran to a bar and

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Speaker 3: he got drunk, and he got some drunk with his

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Speaker 3: friends that when the priests saw him, they're like, this

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Speaker 3: life aid for y'all. And then you got kicked out

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Speaker 3: of the seminary and he became Tom Cruise.

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Speaker 2: Interesting, So we had all these opportunities to not have Tom.

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Speaker 3: Cruise exactly like the guy who invented the saxophone. He

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Speaker 3: could not be stopped.

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Speaker 2: That's ridiculous, right, that is? You know what else is ridiculous?

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Speaker 2: The state of our email inbox? Oh yeah, this is

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Speaker 2: ridiculous Crime A podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists,

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Speaker 2: and cons. It's always ninety nine percent murder free and

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Speaker 2: one hundred percent ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: Can I say something up for up Top? Yeah, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: I normal I would say you damn right, but I

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Speaker 3: have to correct myself. I'm gonna use this moment to

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Speaker 3: say I said you're my favorite person I do this

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Speaker 3: show with, But really I do it with two people,

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Speaker 3: you would, producer d I'm sorry, Producer. I didn't mean

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Speaker 3: to like step on you. I met co host, but

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Speaker 3: my brain goes so quick. I'm like, I do the

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Speaker 3: show with mostly I'm at the talking part, but producer,

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Speaker 3: do you do the talking? So forgive me.

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Speaker 2: You're like, you're my favorite person who talks. That's not me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like that I hear in my headset.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, if listeners, if you hear a bleep earlier over person,

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Speaker 4: is that's what happened.

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Speaker 3: So please forget me. Producer.

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Speaker 2: You have to be like a parent. I love you

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Speaker 2: both equally. Yeah, I know I'm terrible to navigate this.

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Speaker 3: I step on myself all the time.

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Speaker 2: We always ask people to send us emails. We do,

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Speaker 2: and we read those emails. Yes we do, but no

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Speaker 2: one answers those emails.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't think it has a send function.

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Speaker 2: No, I think so we broke it. I snapped that

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Speaker 2: button off. We do read them, though, and then I

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Speaker 2: have proof of that today, do you. I am going

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Speaker 2: to go through the mail bag from the last few months.

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Speaker 3: You actually brought a bag. That's amazing.

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Speaker 2: And this this is from after the point where one

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Speaker 2: of our interns, Breakston, accidentally deleted all the messages.

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Speaker 3: I remember him.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we got rid of him so I can name

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Speaker 2: names now. He was the worst Breakston. He was like

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Speaker 2: a version of that classic Reddit post about that kid Kevin,

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Speaker 2: and if you aren't familiar, google Reddit classic Kevin and

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Speaker 2: then prepare to laugh so hard.

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Speaker 3: You far.

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Speaker 2: Right? Oh yeah, yeah this up.

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Speaker 3: And then.

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Speaker 2: I like his parents didn't know what school he went to,

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Speaker 2: and he went to a public school and they tried

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Speaker 2: to pay tuition.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So Breakston was almost like that. I made a cake

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Speaker 2: one time to bring in for everyone here in HQ.

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Speaker 2: Do you remember this? I think I do, And I

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Speaker 2: put it on the counter in the kitchen and it

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Speaker 2: was like, so cute, all these decorations case and Breakston

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Speaker 2: put his grubby hands right into it and pulled a

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Speaker 2: chunk out of center.

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Speaker 3: Yea, he said he want the best part.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And then we couldn't We couldn't let him answer

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Speaker 2: the phones here because he always said, no, I hate

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Speaker 2: that his hands like they'd be like, hello, oh can

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Speaker 2: I speak with Dave Coustin. No, I hate that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Lake Breakston, stop that.

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Speaker 2: So we were free of him. And now I've been

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Speaker 2: forwarded most of the messages that we were able to recover,

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Speaker 2: Thank God, I know. And here we are. So I've

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Speaker 2: got some good messages and some good shorties that people

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Speaker 2: have suggested. You know, the crimes that are great and ridiculous,

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Speaker 2: but they don't have enough information to make a full exive,

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Speaker 2: so like I can vamp for time, but not that much.

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Speaker 2: So let's start with a message.

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Speaker 3: Please.

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Speaker 2: This is from Jade in Manchester, UK.

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Speaker 3: I know where that is. I know.

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Speaker 2: I was just listening to your ice cream van episode

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Speaker 2: and it reminded me of a story my father used

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Speaker 2: to tell when we were kids in the early nineteen eighties.

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Speaker 2: Living in Manchester, the local ice cream van was very

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Speaker 2: popular with the parents. As well as selling ice cream

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Speaker 2: for the kiddies, the ice cream man also had an

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Speaker 2: illegal side gig of selling slash renting bootleg movie videos.

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Speaker 2: My father told me the ice cream man would be

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Speaker 2: one of the first people in line whenever a new

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Speaker 2: movie came out at the cinema. He would then record

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Speaker 2: the latest blockbuster Ghostbusters Indiana jonesleg make copies and sell

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Speaker 2: them out of the van.

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Speaker 3: Got bootlegs.

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Speaker 2: They were always really dodgy and would have people coughing

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Speaker 2: and standing up to to the toilet.

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Speaker 3: In them in the crowd.

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Speaker 2: It was the cheapest and quickest way for a family

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Speaker 2: of five to see a new movie. Years later, my

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Speaker 2: father also told me the ice cream man would also

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Speaker 2: rent bootleg poorn videos to the dads, but I was

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Speaker 2: never told how he got hold of that.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, with the camera, what do you know that

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Speaker 3: walking back and forth Jade was amazing.

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Speaker 2: So bootleg movies, I think they're the best. And to

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Speaker 2: buy them from an ice cream from Manchester. Perfect. So

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Speaker 2: let's let's stay over on that side of the pond.

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Speaker 2: I have a brit who pulled a pretty ridiculous crime.

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Speaker 2: And this was recommended to us by Soren r Over

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Speaker 2: in the UK. He just said, he said he was

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Speaker 2: just from the UK General Ballpark. He didn't give us

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Speaker 2: a county or city or what have you, just UK.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, Soren, he tipped us off to a guy

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Speaker 2: named Michael Fagan, a cursed name if ever there was.

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Speaker 2: He was born. Michael Fagan was born in Clerkenwell, London,

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Speaker 2: in nineteen forty eight. His dad was a safe cracker,

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Speaker 2: like a cracker of safe, not a non dangerous cracker,

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Speaker 2: and he.

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Speaker 3: Was when he was thirty four MIAs.

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Speaker 2: When he was thirty four, Michael broke into a place,

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Speaker 2: not just a place, he broke into a palace. A palace,

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Speaker 2: oh Buckingham palace, Oh and he did it twice in

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Speaker 2: one month. What Yeah, so it check it out. It's

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Speaker 2: early nineteen.

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Speaker 3: Eighty two, Are you kidding me?

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Speaker 2: And it should be noted that security was pretty tight there,

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Speaker 2: or it should have been, because when you think about it,

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Speaker 2: we're talking about nineteen eighty two. I've been reading a

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Speaker 2: really great book that I was tipped off to by

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Speaker 2: a number one badass journalist and all around hilarious and

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Speaker 2: brilliant guy, Zach Budrick. Yeah, he's an environmental reporter for

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Speaker 2: The Hill. He referenced a book called There Will Be Fire.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the Ivory plot to blow up Margaret Thatcher.

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Speaker 2: Fantastic book, really lucky. Yeah, I recommend it. I'm loving

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Speaker 2: it anyway. So this nineteen eighty two, we're in the

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Speaker 2: middle of the troubles the Buckingham Palace. You know, break in.

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Speaker 2: You'd think that, like the rest of the country, the

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Speaker 2: place would be a little long guard. You think they did, though,

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Speaker 2: I mean they had revolving spikes and barbed wire at

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Speaker 2: the top of the wall around the outside. Really, that

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Speaker 2: doesn't stop Michael. The first time he gained entry by

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Speaker 2: shimmying up a drain pipe and popping in a window.

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Speaker 3: Okay, how do you get over the fence?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. And he poked around for a little bit.

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Speaker 2: He had legitimately he had cheese and crackers. Yeah, he

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Speaker 2: went and got himself some cheese and crackers. Someone saw

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Speaker 2: him and called security and so he hid and was undetected.

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Speaker 3: He just broke in and had a snack.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just wandered around. He gets away from a snack, yes,

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Speaker 2: And he was trying to get out, and he set

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Speaker 2: the alarm off and then security thought it was just

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Speaker 2: a glitch in the system, so they ignored it. They

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Speaker 2: just shut it off. So we wound up hanging out

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Speaker 2: a little bit more and then.

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Speaker 3: He left, took a little nap.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Fast forward a few days, He's hanging out at

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Speaker 2: his local Irish pub and it comes on TV that

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Speaker 2: the Queen fellow. Yeah, well, Sagan, I know I'm not

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Speaker 2: making any guesses. It comes on TV that the Queen

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Speaker 2: is staying at Buckingham Palace over the weekend. The flag

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Speaker 2: is up over the palace. You can guess how this

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Speaker 2: fun fact went down at the pub. Yes, so Michael

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Speaker 2: bets these pals that he's drinking with five pounds each

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Speaker 2: that he could get into the Queen's bedroom that night.

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Speaker 3: Do they know he's done this?

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Speaker 2: No, So seven people at the bar and each of

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Speaker 2: them gave him five pounds. They're like, you're on, there's

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Speaker 2: no kidding. So he gets to Buckingham Palace. He's like, later,

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Speaker 2: chaps off he goes. He gets to Buckingham Palace, he

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Speaker 2: climbs that twenty foot spiked wall. And this time he

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Speaker 2: didn't just get into like the public area of the

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Speaker 2: palace where he had done before. He went into the

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Speaker 2: area where the royal family actually lived and ate and

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Speaker 2: slept and just like lazed about. Wow, he got into

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Speaker 2: the royal apartment.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to their like chambers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So he grabs a bottle of wine, starts strolling around.

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Speaker 3: So I went to Prince Andrew's place. Go on.

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Speaker 2: So this was said to be the biggest breach of

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Speaker 2: security in the modern history of the English world.

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Speaker 3: I can't believe that this would be massively embarrassing for them.

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Speaker 2: He did the old drain piped a window trick again,

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Speaker 2: and then he made it onto the balcony of a

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Speaker 2: bedroom and there's there are more than two hundred bedrooms

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Speaker 2: in Buckingham House with the Queen. Well, he had a

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Speaker 2: one and two hundred chance of selecting a very special bedroom. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and he hit the jackpie. He got onto the balcony

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Speaker 2: of Queen a in this bedroom. He goes in. Queen's

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Speaker 2: asleep and according to him, like she sleeps sitting up

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Speaker 2: in a four poster bed.

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Speaker 3: Get out of it.

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Speaker 2: Her eyes. Her eyes are covered with a sleeping mask,

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Speaker 2: so she may have her eyes open like a.

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Speaker 3: Horse, Elizabeth. I am still stuck with her sleeping sitting up.

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Speaker 2: Maybe she broke her collar bone.

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Speaker 3: Okay, but what So he comes in and there's the

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Speaker 3: Queen and she's sitting up like.

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Speaker 2: With a sleeping mass. Think she was snoring, but probably,

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Speaker 2: but she couldn't see who he was. She just hears something.

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Speaker 2: She does hear him though, Yeah, So he creeps over

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Speaker 2: to the bed and he sits at the end of it.

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Speaker 2: She she wakes up. She's like, is that you Philip Way?

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Speaker 2: And so he like clears his throat and he does

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Speaker 2: this super posh English accent. Uh huh, No, it's me Michael,

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Speaker 2: And so she just freaks out.

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Speaker 3: She's just like, why put on the name because.

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Speaker 2: It's fun and cups So he like she rips off

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Speaker 2: hersking was like ah, she's positive as curtains for her.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, she's got an irishman sitting on the end

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Speaker 3: of her bread in nineteen eighty two.

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Speaker 2: He's full of beard. He has love in his heart,

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Speaker 2: agape love.

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Speaker 3: Oh, he's like a bed warmer.

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Speaker 2: He wanted to soothe her soul. He says to her,

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Speaker 2: quote relaxed, sister, you don't have to worry. I'm Irish.

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Speaker 2: Like at this point she's probably just peeing. Like that's it.

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Speaker 2: That is the punchline of the century. So she says,

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Speaker 2: what do you want from me?

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Speaker 3: Okay, negotiate?

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Speaker 2: She says, all I want is a kiss?

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Speaker 3: What? Yeah, he wants a kiss from the queen.

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Speaker 2: Yikes?

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Speaker 3: Why peopleways want to kiss from queen?

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Speaker 2: What does she say?

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Speaker 3: What did she say?

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you in like a thick Brooklyn accent,

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Speaker 2: she said, do you know who I am? I'm the

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Speaker 2: Queen of England.

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Speaker 3: She name checks herself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, She's like, p s yeah, I'm the queen. Like

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Speaker 2: do you have the right room where you're trying to

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Speaker 2: find you.

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Speaker 3: Know totally, I I own everything here, you know.

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Speaker 2: That right Ann's places down the hall and so he's too.

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Speaker 2: He says, quote, I don't care who you are. I'm

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Speaker 2: Michael Fagan from Ireland and I'm here for a kiss,

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Speaker 2: like if I'm one hundred percent sure I'm about to die.

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Speaker 3: Yeah where he's a kind of an Irish poet, like,

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Speaker 3: give me a kiss.

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Speaker 2: Now He's like, no, kiss a shooter in the post.

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Speaker 3: Apocalyptic movie and he's like, oh did the beat?

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Speaker 2: So she would say no, and then he'd try to

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Speaker 2: convince her, and this went on for a long time.

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Speaker 3: Kidding she can't scream or do anything. She's no bell

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Speaker 3: to ring.

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Speaker 2: Now there is? She She picks up the phone next

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Speaker 2: to the bed. Okay, guns, no one answers for answers,

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Speaker 2: he gets impatient. He said, quote, for God's sake, woman,

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Speaker 2: would you give me a kiss? And then the queen,

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Speaker 2: according to him, said quote, I shouldn't even be massaging

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Speaker 2: your back, Like wait, what.

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Speaker 3: What are you are you making?

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Speaker 2: I'm missing something in this that what I was like,

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Speaker 2: does the queen insist on bodyworks on someone? She's like,

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Speaker 2: I haven't even rubbed your back yet. You think I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna kiss you anyway? So Michael he told this story

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Speaker 2: when he was arrested, but then he took it all

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Speaker 2: back into a twenty twelve interview with The Independent.

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Speaker 3: Yes, because of course the Queen's not gonna yeah.

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Speaker 2: So he said in that interview that as soon as

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Speaker 2: he appeared in the room, she cut out to go

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Speaker 2: get help. She called the palace switchboard twice to ask

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Speaker 2: for the police, but no one showed up. That part

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Speaker 2: it did happen. So she went back to the room,

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Speaker 2: used her bedside alarm bell and then no one shows up.

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Speaker 3: T which he leaves the bedroom and then comes back.

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Speaker 3: God has to come back to the bedroom. She realized

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Speaker 3: that's where her alarm is.

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Speaker 2: Her like, you know what, I've fallen and I can't

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Speaker 2: get yeah, exactly, life alert. So she then runs back

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Speaker 2: out in the hall, she sees a maid who's just

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Speaker 2: like doo.

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Speaker 3: Do do twos. It's like a clapper like clap off.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, and so the maid she yells out and the

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Speaker 2: maid comes to help her, and the queen and the

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Speaker 2: maid usher Michael quote into a nearby pantry on the

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Speaker 2: pretext of supplying him with the cigarette. What they're like, well,

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Speaker 2: you know what you need to smoke?

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Speaker 3: Total, are you kidding me?

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Speaker 2: I got a case of Benson and hedges the roll. Yeah,

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00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:10,920
Speaker 2: And so let's just go on the pantry. There was

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Speaker 2: supposed to be an armed guard outside of her bedroom.

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Speaker 3: Door all night long, I would assume.

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Speaker 2: But this all happened during a shift change. What, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you can have. There was this guy, the dooty footman,

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Speaker 2: Paul Wybrew. He was out walking them corgies when this

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Speaker 2: all went down. Uh huh, taking him out for a piddle.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: He gets back, he sees this whole messoudn't be Yeah,

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00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:36,200
Speaker 2: runs to help. They're pushing Michael into the pantry, but

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00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:39,400
Speaker 2: he still wants more time with the queen. So why

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Speaker 2: Brew he stalls Michael, He's like, quote all right, but

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00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,120
Speaker 2: let her get dressed first. That's what he tells them.

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Speaker 3: They're so British about it.

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Speaker 2: And then the footman asked Michael if he wants a drink,

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00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:52,200
Speaker 2: and Michael says, quote yes, please, I'll have a scotch.

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Speaker 3: Like they don't want to embarrass the men, Like I

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Speaker 3: don't want to. Let's let's get you a smoke and

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Speaker 3: a drink.

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Speaker 2: This is how Michael tells it.

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Speaker 3: Quote, Wow, nobody's swinging. Nobody's like you don't need to

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Speaker 3: get here?

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00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,880
Speaker 2: What oh? He would have been Yeah. In in modern time,

348
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,880
Speaker 2: I don't know anyway. This is how he tells it.

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00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,440
Speaker 2: Quote the footman came and said, cool, right, you look

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Speaker 2: like you need to drink. He took me to the

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Speaker 2: Queen's pantry across the landing, where I presume she cooks

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Speaker 2: her baked beans and toast and whatever, and takes a

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Speaker 2: bottle of famous Grouse from the shelf and pours me

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Speaker 2: a glass of whiskey.

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Speaker 3: Are you kidding me?

356
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Speaker 2: I mean, hello, J Yeah, I am, I'm so judging.

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Speaker 2: Michael told The Independent that he really needed to find

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Speaker 2: a bathroom. You know, he'd had a bunch of paints

359
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:37,680
Speaker 2: at the at the Puppy's been drinking on that one

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Speaker 2: long night. But like he said, everything was poorly marked. Quote.

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00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:46,440
Speaker 2: I found rooms saying Diana's room, Charles's room. They all

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00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,960
Speaker 2: had names on them. But I couldn't find a door

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00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,960
Speaker 2: which said WC. All I found were some bins with

364
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,840
Speaker 2: quote corky food written on them. I was breaking my

365
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,760
Speaker 2: neck to go to the toilet. What do I do?

366
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,200
Speaker 2: Pee on the carpet? So I had to pee in

367
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Speaker 2: the corky food?

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00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,160
Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? He's like, I couldn't find an umbrella,

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Speaker 3: stand a peon.

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00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,080
Speaker 2: Finally security shows up, then the cops, then more security.

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Speaker 2: Michael gets arrested.

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Speaker 3: Finally somebody actually shows up like hey, let's get rid

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Speaker 3: of the and.

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Speaker 2: They gently escored him up. He got sentenced to two

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Speaker 2: years in jail, but he only served a few months

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Speaker 2: and then they let him out for good behavior. And

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Speaker 2: legend has it that the queen sent him a couple

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Speaker 2: of letters while he was in prison.

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Speaker 3: No, I do not believe that.

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00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,320
Speaker 2: I don't know that's what they said.

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Speaker 3: What Yeah, the actual which is amazed.

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00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:32,720
Speaker 2: So when he got out, you.

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00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,520
Speaker 3: Think that they actually had like a real conversation and

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00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:35,919
Speaker 3: maybe she was like, you know what, I took your

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Speaker 3: advice and I thought about.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe he influenced all sorts of.

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Speaker 3: You know, he's working on trucks, like so maybe like

388
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,159
Speaker 3: they like they were talking about like, oh, you know,

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00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,119
Speaker 3: I was working on this, uh you know lander over

390
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,040
Speaker 3: the other day. Maybe they kissed maybe and then yeah,

391
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Speaker 3: and then the maid was like make them kiss.

392
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:58,520
Speaker 2: Maybe he's Charles's real dad, like you know, a retcon. Anyway,

393
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,560
Speaker 2: So he gets out, he goes back home to dairy

394
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 2: in Northern Ireland. Years later, he said he didn't regret

395
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Speaker 2: the trespassing.

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00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:07,560
Speaker 3: I bet not.

397
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,240
Speaker 2: What did he say about this episode in his life?

398
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,719
Speaker 3: I made fifteen pounds.

399
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,000
Speaker 2: It's brought me adversity, but I can laugh about it,

400
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:16,160
Speaker 2: and that's the main thing.

401
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,720
Speaker 3: So irish, I love that way to go. That's incredible.

402
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:26,119
Speaker 4: Is this what inspired the now disgraced Morrissey to sing?

403
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 4: So I broke into the palace with a sponge and

404
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,280
Speaker 4: a rusty spanner and the queen is dead?

405
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:31,080
Speaker 2: Perhaps?

406
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,920
Speaker 3: I don't wow, deep pull producer.

407
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, actually could be.

408
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 3: That was like top of mind for me as soon

409
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 3: as you started. I did not.

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00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, apparently this whole episode was depicted in that show

411
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,520
Speaker 2: The Crown, but I don't watch it.

412
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,920
Speaker 3: Really, yeah, I don't watch The Crown. I'm not really

413
00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 3: a royal. My sister loves the Royals shot on Mags,

414
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,920
Speaker 3: but I personally, you know me, it's all osmotic process

415
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,640
Speaker 3: of like, oh, I've heard about this, I've seen that.

416
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:58,280
Speaker 2: Right right, that's not a great story, Thank you, Soren. Yeah, excellent,

417
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,320
Speaker 2: excellent tip. Let's take a break. I'm gonna go pee

418
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,520
Speaker 2: in the corky food and you get a glass of

419
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,400
Speaker 2: scotch and when we come back.

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Speaker 3: Hey, Dave, you want to give me a kiss.

421
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:29,720
Speaker 2: More from the mail bag. Hello, Saren.

422
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 3: Done pretty good?

423
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,680
Speaker 2: I'm good. I peed in the corky food.

424
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 3: You look relaxed that so I was about to say, that's.

425
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,439
Speaker 2: Gonna be my new you know, we had what was it,

426
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 2: the Cincinnati ice cream truck. My other new euphemism is oh,

427
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,640
Speaker 2: she's been peeing in the corky food.

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Speaker 3: Uhbeth.

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00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,680
Speaker 2: I got more listener mail and suggestions. I do need

430
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,480
Speaker 2: to note that if you sent something and we don't

431
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 2: talk about it today, and that's gonna be a lot

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Speaker 2: of people because we get a lot of mail, well,

433
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 2: please do not have hurt feelings. I just want that

434
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 2: out there. Yes, Like you know, we never want to

435
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 2: slight anyone or ignore them. There's a lot to juggle

436
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,480
Speaker 2: and we're not always very good at it, but you know,

437
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:11,400
Speaker 2: just keep that in mind.

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00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:15,159
Speaker 3: Whatever. Definitely and definitely deeply appreciate any emails readers. Oh

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00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,160
Speaker 3: my god, completely, you guys are some funny people.

440
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,880
Speaker 2: Here's a note that we got. Hello. First off, thank

441
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 2: you for the podcast. It's my favorite and always gives

442
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:27,000
Speaker 2: me an interesting story to tell my sister. Second, I

443
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,440
Speaker 2: have a story on my own. It's not too illegal,

444
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,959
Speaker 2: I think, but hopefully it's still interesting. Before the pandemic,

445
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:36,639
Speaker 2: my sister, Mom and I visited my grandmother living in Russia.

446
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 2: We traveled to Moscow and went through a lot of museums,

447
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:44,120
Speaker 2: one of which was the Diamond Fund, which housed the crowns, scepters,

448
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,200
Speaker 2: and other jewels of the Russian royal families. The only

449
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 2: thing is traveling in Russia as a foreign tourist is

450
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,479
Speaker 2: a different experience than traveling as a Russian tourist. The

451
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 2: line ticket tickets to see this museum for regular tourists

452
00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 2: was incredibly long outdoors and not even opened the whole

453
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 2: business day. My mom read about another ticket office specifically

454
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,359
Speaker 2: for foreigners. We found the spot, which was a nice

455
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 2: indoor office with plenty of empty room, but we had

456
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:13,480
Speaker 2: to keep up the foreign act. My sister and I

457
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,879
Speaker 2: speak English natively, so we were instructed to approach and

458
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 2: ask for tickets for all four of us. The woman

459
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 2: at the front friendly started this process, and then my

460
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,560
Speaker 2: grandma passed her Russian retirement card as she's used to

461
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 2: in case that gives her a discount, so the jig

462
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,360
Speaker 2: was up. The woman spoke to my mom in Russian

463
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,200
Speaker 2: with a hushed angry tone. This office is only for foreigners.

464
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 2: My mom beckoned to us, replying, they're foreigners. You aren't

465
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 2: going to separate them from us, are you. Meanwhile, I

466
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 2: stood there trying to look clueless, as if I had

467
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,920
Speaker 2: no idea what they were saying, trying to save the act,

468
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,880
Speaker 2: and thankfully the woman right, the woman sold us the tickets,

469
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 2: though begrudgingly. I don't think you can really consider this

470
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 2: a con It wasn't even completely successful, but I sure

471
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,439
Speaker 2: felt like a con artist in the moment. Finally, I

472
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 2: have a story suggestion. Search up the Morris Worm. It's

473
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,400
Speaker 2: a nineteen eighty eight internet virus that shot off ten

474
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,439
Speaker 2: percent of all computers connected to the Internet, and it

475
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,080
Speaker 2: was all because of an accident. Still, its creator was

476
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 2: credited as the first person to be convicted under the

477
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 2: Federal Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. And that's from Alexia RK.

478
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 3: No, thank you, Alexia.

479
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, Alexia, I love a little bit of ticket soft scamming, Like,

480
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 2: oh yeah, I support it, I mean, and I really

481
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,920
Speaker 2: love the wall me part of it, like you gotta

482
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 2: sell the performance. Well done, Alexia. So what's the Morris Worm? Uh?

483
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 3: It's a actually nineteen eighty eight, Elizabeth, Okay, what is

484
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:42,440
Speaker 3: the Morris worm?

485
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 2: Elizabeth, Well, I looked into it, look at me, look

486
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 2: at me, and I can tell you about it. November two,

487
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,879
Speaker 2: nineteen eighty eight, eight thirty pm. I don't know the times,

488
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,920
Speaker 2: that's it. And so this was in the early days

489
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 2: of the Internet, as she told us, when it connected

490
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 2: colleges and or like military and governments systems. This was

491
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 2: one year before the quote Worldwide Web was invented. So

492
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 2: at this point, again just government research. So you know that,

493
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 2: like Massachusetts Institute of Technology MIT sh yes, So computers

494
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 2: on the network started like seizing up, going black on

495
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:23,160
Speaker 2: this on this fateful day. Quote, we are currently under attack,

496
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,480
Speaker 2: wrote a concerned student at UC Berkeley in an email

497
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 2: later that night, very dramatic. Six thousand of the sixty

498
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 2: thousand computers connected to the Internet at that point were hit.

499
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 2: Whoa yeah, and this this wasn't a virus. A virus

500
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 2: needs software to host on a device. This was a

501
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 2: computer worm and those can just spread on their own,

502
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 2: which is so gross. So I don't know you asked

503
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:47,120
Speaker 2: me how.

504
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 3: I just really wanted to see your face whatever.

505
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 2: I have no idea. You're like, oh, well, it's I

506
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 2: don't know. It worms.

507
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,680
Speaker 3: It wormed around mostly and it just works.

508
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:58,959
Speaker 2: Wah, inch worm, inchworm? How do you do? So it

509
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 2: wasn't just Berkeley. All the big dogs got hit. I'm

510
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 2: talking Harvard, Princeton, Stanford, Johns Hopkins, NASA, University of Chicago,

511
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 2: I don't know, and the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory.

512
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:12,200
Speaker 3: Oh okay, right in your backyard.

513
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 2: It didn't strike every computer on the network. It only

514
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:19,439
Speaker 2: hit those that ran a certain version of the is

515
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 2: it eunix operating because people might be U, N I

516
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 2: X Y, you don't know. It's okay whatever, eunix. But

517
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,959
Speaker 2: it was still enough to wreck shop and it snuck

518
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 2: in through an email, and it was designed to stay hidden,

519
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:38,120
Speaker 2: so it's just worming around. It didn't damage or destroy files.

520
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:42,199
Speaker 2: It just slowed things down to like molasses speed. And

521
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 2: keep in mind they didn't have the like supercomputer processing

522
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,360
Speaker 2: levels that sure, yeah, definitely, things were already slow, and

523
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 2: you know they they didn't have like the mainframes and

524
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 2: the matrix and the hackathons and whatnot, yes, please talk,

525
00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:00,399
Speaker 2: so nothing would process or send and the U users

526
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 2: were stumped as to like how to find the thing,

527
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 2: and remove it. Some some places they just went ahead

528
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 2: and wiped their systems.

529
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 3: On the start fresh new computers.

530
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 2: They're like, control all, delete, boom everything. Others yeah, others

531
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 2: just unplugged from the network and they're like, we can't

532
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 2: risk this, and they were offline for a week working.

533
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 2: It was frustrating, but it was also really expensive. Losses

534
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 2: started out at like one hundred thousand dollars and then

535
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:28,160
Speaker 2: went into the millions. Oh really, yeah, I mean because

536
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 2: no one could sell anything on eBay. It's terrible. So

537
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,679
Speaker 2: there were those who spent every waking hour trying to

538
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 2: fix it, like, you know, just a lot of coffee,

539
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,159
Speaker 2: a lot of like hunched over a.

540
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 3: Screen, computer ratchets.

541
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 2: Everyone wearing like weird earth tones and oatmeal colors. You

542
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 2: know that there were those who, you know, probably like me,

543
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 2: who wanted to know who was to blame, who's the purp?

544
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 2: So right after the worm went live, the purp spoke, Yeah,

545
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 2: but not publicly and not with identification. The hacker had

546
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 2: been tinkering with his creation, honing it, like playing around

547
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 2: and thinking about what a god he would be if

548
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 2: he were to release this worm. Release the worm, that's

549
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 2: what he said. And he released it saren, he released

550
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 2: what happened? Then he felt really really bad. He felt terrible.

551
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 3: He's like, why did I do this? It's like, oh,

552
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 3: I'm ashamed.

553
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 2: I am become death destroyer of worlds. He's just, you know,

554
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 2: the bag of a gida everywhere. He called two friends.

555
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 2: He's like, hello, Michelle, guess what And he told him

556
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 2: what he did. He confessed and he's like, got totally

557
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,239
Speaker 2: out of control. I thought it would be cool and

558
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 2: now it's not cool. And he asked a friend to

559
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 2: send an anonymous message across the internet on his behalf,

560
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 2: telling everyone how sorry he was and explaining how to

561
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 2: get rid of the program.

562
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 3: Okay, that'd be the important part.

563
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 2: Right, here's the problem. No one could get messages on

564
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:58,119
Speaker 2: the network because it is stupid worm. Right, so they

565
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 2: couldn't get his stupid message. They could send postcard or

566
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 2: like they still did telegrams Western Union.

567
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:06,879
Speaker 3: Yeah they still do today.

568
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:11,439
Speaker 2: I know, well, Elizabeth, do you know? So? Uh? The

569
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 2: other friend that he talked to was like, forget this bro.

570
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 2: He called the New York Times. Wow, he left an

571
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 2: anonymous tip.

572
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,680
Speaker 3: He didn't even hold out to get paid. Now he's

573
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 3: just like I was going to get this off my hands.

574
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 2: I am so enraged with Yeah, he was like this,

575
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 2: someone needs to put a stop to this.

576
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 3: He doesn't want to call the police. He's like, I'll

577
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:29,120
Speaker 3: call the Yeah.

578
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 2: He's like, the police aren't going to understand what I'm talking.

579
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:35,439
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm just I'm just position. So he

580
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 2: told the paper that he knew who built the program.

581
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 3: Huh.

582
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 2: And he did explain that the creator didn't mean to

583
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 2: do harm and that it was just this experiment and

584
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 2: that it was actually so infectious, not due to the

585
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:51,439
Speaker 2: guy's ace programming, but because there was an error in

586
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 2: the programming.

587
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:55,880
Speaker 3: Replicating he had put.

588
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 2: Like a zero to put one, and then.

589
00:27:58,400 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 3: He couldn't even fix it.

590
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,440
Speaker 2: He could Yeah, He's like, oh no, oops. And so

591
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,880
Speaker 2: the hacker oops his way to infamy.

592
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 3: Wow.

593
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 2: And when he left the tip, the source referred to

594
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 2: the worm's author by his initials RTM. Okay, Well, so

595
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 2: the New York Times was back then full of very

596
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 2: smart people and.

597
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 3: Only sixty thousand. We have to check on these.

598
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,160
Speaker 2: Universales, right, So they took the information and they deduced

599
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 2: that the rogue hacker programmer had to be twenty three

600
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 2: year old Cornell University graduate student Robert Tappan Morris, Oh

601
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 2: there it is. Meanwhile, the worms cruising through the internet quickly,

602
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 2: crashing computers left and right. Everything's freezing, and who is

603
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 2: this Morris Zarin.

604
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 3: Do we know that he was intentionally trying to create

605
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 3: the worm's functions or because you said that it was

606
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 3: kind of a mistake the functionality.

607
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was like the respectively, I could create a

608
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 2: worm that would that would like really like slow everything down.

609
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 3: On so he intentionally wanted to.

610
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 2: And then it's as if like I was like, I

611
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 2: bet I can make like a big firecracker that would

612
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 2: go off, and then instead of putting like an M

613
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 2: a D and then like slide a stick of dynamite,

614
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 2: I bet that's gonna be great. And then oh so

615
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 2: he this Morris cat right, Harvard graduate in computer science.

616
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 2: His dad was an early innovator at Bell Labs.

617
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 3: Oh wow Central.

618
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he grew up surrounded by computers and networking

619
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 2: in mainframes and database the cybers and whatnot. The matrix.

620
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 2: Don't forget the matrix.

621
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 3: It comes later, but yeah, no, it was then.

622
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 2: At Harvard Morris made a name for himself with his

623
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 2: text skills. He was like Scooter Computer and mister Chips. Yeah,

624
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 2: total b b bops, so many bes. And he was

625
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 2: particularly adept with Unix. And that's a code, and that's

626
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 2: all I know about it. We're going to just leave

627
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 2: it lest it's like the O G Hipster code. It's

628
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 2: the drip coffee of code. I have no idea what

629
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 2: I'm talking about anyway. So he went to Harvard and

630
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 2: then he got into grad school at Cornell, future alma

631
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 2: mater of Andy Bernard, and so he this this right.

632
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 2: He was known for his technological prowess, especially in Unix.

633
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 2: And he's you know, so he's waiting for the academic

634
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 2: year to begin. He did some tinkerings his bored He

635
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 2: built a program spread slowly and secretly across the Internet.

636
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 3: How do I make digital cancer?

637
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 2: I am hoping that, as he was like tep tap

638
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 2: tap tap on his Amiga computer, that at some point

639
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 2: I'm hoping that at some point in the process he

640
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 2: leaned back in his desk chair and did like the

641
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 2: full throated volume building Villain's lab. Oh yeah, I hope

642
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 2: he dident.

643
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 3: Let's se him.

644
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he wanted to release his little darling into

645
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 2: the world, like me, writing inside jokes into my show

646
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 2: outlines that only Sarah TACIONI will understand that was his.

647
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 2: It was for him.

648
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 3: Are me pouring salmon oil into someone's air conditioning of

649
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 3: their cars?

650
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 2: Exactly?

651
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 3: Like come this summer, this is gonna be awesome.

652
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 2: So Morris is a smart puppy little fella. He didn't

653
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:14,479
Speaker 2: release the worm from his computer at home or at

654
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 2: Harvard or at Cornell. He stuck it to those pricks

655
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 2: at MI T and he hacked into their system and

656
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 2: sent it from there. So it wasn't that much of

657
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 2: a mistake. It wasn't that much of a noopsy, doesn't

658
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 2: at all. He's like, boom, how do you like them apples?

659
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 3: That bay.

660
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 2: Of course, the FBI got involved, and of course they

661
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 2: pretty quickly figured out it was Morris, And so all

662
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 2: of a sudden, he's got guys and suits on his doorstep,

663
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 2: not the Kuza, and more of them are interviewing his friends,

664
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 2: which they're calling his associates, which they're like, I am cool.

665
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 2: All of a sudden, and they're seizing his computers and

666
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 2: they're decrypting his files and so so much evidence and

667
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 2: it's all incriminating. This was a new frontier, this hacking,

668
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 2: Like what law.

669
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 3: Had he I did not ask, but did they even

670
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 3: have laws?

671
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 2: Because people hadn't even heard the word internet, daren. I

672
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 2: didn't hear that word until twenty fourteen.

673
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,239
Speaker 3: And I don't know if they even come up with like, oh,

674
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 3: this is like you know, I don't know, trespassing or

675
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 3: like electronics.

676
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 2: Check it out. Two years before he unleashed his worm. Yeah,

677
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 2: Congress passed the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of nineteen

678
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 2: eighty six. I am not kidding you. They saw so

679
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 2: many radio shack commercials and they're like this.

680
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 3: We got to make some staws here.

681
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 2: So this outlawed unauthorized access to protected computers.

682
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 3: They watched Rocky Ford, they went nuts, they.

683
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 2: Welled war games. Yeah, so like gatcha Morris, we got

684
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 2: a law. He was charged in nineteen eighty nine. In

685
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,239
Speaker 2: nineteen ninety, he was found guilty, and that made him

686
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 2: the first person convicted under the nineteen eighty six law.

687
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 3: Ow.

688
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 2: Interesting didn't do any time.

689
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 3: No, no, this is like I'm not root form, just surprised.

690
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 2: He got a fine, probation and four hundred hours of

691
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 2: community service. Okay, and then I feel like we're at

692
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 2: the beginning of Sneak at this.

693
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 3: Point, Yeah, one of your favorite films.

694
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, in my top five. I love that

695
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 2: movie so much. I think I have to watch it

696
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 2: again though. But what he did do is wake people

697
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 2: up to the dangers lurking on the Internet. Right after

698
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 2: the worm attack the Department of Defense, they created the

699
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 2: country's first computer emergency Response team, and then developers started

700
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 2: creating intrusion detection software and so on.

701
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 3: This was like early MacAfee kind of stuff.

702
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much. And then on the dark side of

703
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 2: the coin, the Morris Worm inspired a new generation of hackers,

704
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 2: and some say, on a quiet night, you can still

705
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 2: hear the haunting screams of the worm as it makes

706
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 2: his way through the tubes and caverns of the digital frontier.

707
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 3: Is that what that is?

708
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 2: Welcome to the matrix, brot hear. Let's hear from a listener.

709
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 2: Let's shift gears a little bit. Do you remember Hondo.

710
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 2: He's the rude dude who his house got broken into

711
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 2: and he wanted to remind us all that property crime

712
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 2: still hurts.

713
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 3: Oh yes, Yeah, it was a important message.

714
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, And we were letting him and the other listeners

715
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 2: know that we totally miserate, and we really only cheer

716
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 2: on burglars who steal from the violently rich. Yes, and

717
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 2: every day stuck, every day working folks like you and

718
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 2: me and Hondo don't deserve these sorts of things. Anyway,

719
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 2: Hondo reached out again. Here it is. Hey guys, it's

720
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 2: Hondo again. Thanks for the shout out a few weeks ago.

721
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 2: It meant a lot. You want to hear something ridiculous.

722
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 2: While we were cleaning up the mess where the burglars

723
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 2: broke into the safe, we found a receipt from a

724
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:29,360
Speaker 2: local supermarket. The receipt is for a scratcher redemption a

725
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 2: couple of weeks before the break in. It has the date, time,

726
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 2: store location, even the cashier's name on it. I'm one

727
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 2: hundred percent sure that the receipt does not belong to

728
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 2: myself or any of my family. LAPD has done nothing

729
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 2: with the lead, though, but I thought it was funny

730
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 2: that the burglar dropped a receipt with all the information

731
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 2: to get a space on camera and perhaps a license

732
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,800
Speaker 2: plate in the parking lot. I went to the store

733
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 2: and I asked to see the footage, but the manager

734
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 2: said they need a police order. Hopefully the detective will

735
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 2: get off his button do something. But unfortunately this kind

736
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 2: of crime in LA is not very important to them.

737
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's pretty rampid. I had people break into security.

738
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 3: I had one of those personal storage units. Yeah yeah,

739
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 3: and there's a little like gap at the top of

740
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 3: the wall, and so it's the person in the in

741
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 3: the storage unit next to mine broke through the top

742
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 3: of that and then pulled everything they would squeeze they

743
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 3: could squeeze through. But it turns out what they could

744
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 3: squeeze through was like fifteen guitars. Wait, yeah they were

745
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 3: my guitars there, my cousin guitars. Yeah, well my cousin,

746
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,879
Speaker 3: my cousin SKA bands guitars. But yes, like so he lost,

747
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 3: like and I went and I contacted the LAPD. I

748
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:36,800
Speaker 3: showed them all the stuff I had, all these pictures.

749
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 3: They have all of the cameras down in the self

750
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 3: storage place and they're like, yeah, man, I don't know

751
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 3: what to tell you. If you checked the eBay, maybe

752
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 3: you can get lucky and like what buy some of

753
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 3: them back, And that was their best advice.

754
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 2: So frustrating, and it happens so often, like they have.

755
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 3: The information I feel for you, Hondo.

756
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 2: I know someone who had their bike stolen and it

757
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 2: had an air tag on it and you could track

758
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,840
Speaker 2: it to like an apartment building, and they told the cops,

759
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 2: and the cops were like, I can't really, you know,

760
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 2: we don't know. They had all these reasons they couldn't

761
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 2: knock on the door. So the person got a group

762
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 2: of fools and went down there and taught themselves, which

763
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:11,840
Speaker 2: is not smart. It depends on who you posse. You

764
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 2: need at least like three four furries.

765
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I was as close as he could get.

766
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,280
Speaker 3: He was like, you got a Mophead.

767
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 2: Back to Honda. He continues, Anyway, I heard an interesting

768
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:24,439
Speaker 2: story recently and thought you guys would do a great

769
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:27,080
Speaker 2: job of telling it because it's funny. The story of

770
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 2: Lothar malscat an artist who was supposed to restore medieval

771
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 2: murals on churches in Nazi Germany. Instead, he had to

772
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 2: recreate the murals entirely. He made the mistake of leaving

773
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 2: wild American turkeys done by another artist in a mural,

774
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 2: and the Nazis said it was proof that the German

775
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 2: race had discovered the New World first. And after the

776
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 2: war he wanted credit for faking the Beloved and Beautiful Murals,

777
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 2: but no one believed him, so he sued himself to

778
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,760
Speaker 2: get the credit. There's much more to the story, involving

779
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,240
Speaker 2: more artists and crime, but I've written a long enough email.

780
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 2: I'd love to hear you guys cover the story. Keep

781
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 2: up the good work. Thanks. So I am going to

782
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 2: look into loth Art and if I can't work up

783
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 2: an entire episode for this cat, then I'm going to

784
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 2: try and put together some sort of art forger grab bag.

785
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,760
Speaker 2: You know I love art forgers. So thank you for that. Honda.

786
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 2: One quick email before we take a break. Hi, Elizabeth,

787
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 2: I know you hate the emails, so sorry. So not

788
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,320
Speaker 2: that you would ever watched nine one one, but do

789
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:29,240
Speaker 2: you think they've gone too far with the cruiseh disaster. Also,

790
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 2: I finally checked out the website and it's epic. Love

791
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 2: you guys, Mikayla. I don't even know where to begin

792
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,800
Speaker 2: when talking about the latest season of nine to one one. Mikayla,

793
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 2: I mean, for real, it's so unhinged and so campy.

794
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,720
Speaker 2: It so there's like the Cruise Ship three parter was nuts,

795
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 2: nothing made sense, it was pirates, and then it was

796
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,720
Speaker 2: like a lady from an old episode having an affair,

797
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,879
Speaker 2: and then it was a hurricane, and then LA Fire

798
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 2: Department performed a dangerous sea rescue in international waters. It

799
00:37:57,719 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 2: was just so much, and that's why I love the show.

800
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 2: It's all just too much Eddie causing that store clerk

801
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,320
Speaker 2: to go nuts and impersonate his dead ex wife. I

802
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 2: just can't. And I've recently been introduced to another show

803
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 2: full of crimes that I missed the first time around.

804
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 2: I'm watching it now and I'm currently on i think

805
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:19,800
Speaker 2: season three, a little show called Scandal. Scandal walked so

806
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 2: nine to one one could run. Yeah, it's the wildest

807
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 2: nonsensical telenovela and I can't stop watching it. And apparently

808
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 2: there are only a dozen people in Washington, d C.

809
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 2: And they're all plotting for and against them with each other.

810
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 2: Let's pause, MICHAELA. You can take a commercial break two

811
00:38:36,719 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 2: and two and all that be right back. This just

812
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 2: in a bunch of rude dudes. Hepped us to this

813
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 2: update to one of our most iconic stories. I'm talking

814
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 2: about Democracy manifest Yes. Yes, it was on October eleventh,

815
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 2: nineteen ninety one that the cameras captured a guy protesting

816
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 2: his innocence from dining and dashing as police escorted him

817
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 2: from the China Sea restaurant, Iconic, Iconic Australian. He did

818
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,799
Speaker 2: his whole speech about his succulent Chinese meal and someone

819
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 2: touching his penis and is great, Well, there's been a.

820
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 3: Reunion between him and the guy who touched him.

821
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 2: So Jack Carlson was the guy, and the arresting officer

822
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 2: is a guy named Stole Watt. Stole Watt, Yeah, not

823
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 2: pole pot, stole stole so like like like.

824
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 3: A mink stole, like stalls.

825
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 2: Okay, yes, star wars, Yes, in the snow. So those

826
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 2: two they get together. They went back to that very

827
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:02,280
Speaker 2: same Brisbane restaurant. Decades later, they enjoyed a succulent Chinese

828
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 2: meal together.

829
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:04,359
Speaker 5: Yeah.

830
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 2: Did you know video of that rant has been watched

831
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 2: millions and millions of times, that has been memed to

832
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 2: death And this was the first time they spoke since

833
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 2: becoming viral sensations. Yeah, So the press joined them as

834
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 2: they sat down and broke noodles together. They said that

835
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 2: they couldn't believe how notorious and well known the video

836
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 2: had he come. Jack told ABC News Breakfast that the

837
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,280
Speaker 2: whole skipping out on meals or like paying was stolen

838
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,360
Speaker 2: credit cards? Thing was quote a case of mistaken identity.

839
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 2: It was no, he said, quote, I was released. I

840
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 2: wasn't the person they thought I was.

841
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,280
Speaker 3: They went with the shaggy defense, just Australia style.

842
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 2: It wasn't night and so good, thank you. And then

843
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 2: the claim that someone you know, like touched on his

844
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 2: Jenny's that was quote probably made up, according to Jack.

845
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 3: We all heard it, I know.

846
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 2: But then Stole he was like quote. Jack has since

847
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:57,799
Speaker 2: said that he exaggerated that one.

848
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:02,480
Speaker 3: Oh, so he didn't. The moment he decided to go.

849
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:06,320
Speaker 2: For it, he gave quite the performance and mc patrick

850
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 2: reporters asked him the classic question about his acting. What

851
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 2: was your motivation?

852
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 3: Did they?

853
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 5: Yeah?

854
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 2: And he said he didn't remember. But what like Stole,

855
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 2: he's chatting the cops chattier. He's like, quote, I think

856
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 2: he would have been a great actor. I must say

857
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 2: Jack would have made a good detective in a different

858
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 2: line of work.

859
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:25,719
Speaker 3: Good detective.

860
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,960
Speaker 2: I guess the criteria were, you don't know.

861
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 3: So the two got a marvelous voice. I could listen

862
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 3: to it all day.

863
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 2: He has a presence, So.

864
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 3: That's not a detective. You're talking about maybe a radio announcer.

865
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 2: I don't know who's to say anyway, So they get

866
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 2: together and the reason was to unveil plans for a

867
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:46,359
Speaker 2: documentary about that fateful day Wow and Jack's troubled life.

868
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 2: And it's called The Man Who Ate a Succulent Chinese Meal.

869
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 2: That's the name of the came down a mountain I know, right,

870
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:55,919
Speaker 2: And it's going to come out early twenty twenty five.

871
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 2: It's going to delve into Jack's troubled past. Before the arrest,

872
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:02,239
Speaker 2: he said that most of his life since the age

873
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 2: of seven had been spent in institutions, homes, prisons. He'd

874
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 2: been a criminal and escape from jail three times. I

875
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 2: love it going on.

876
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 3: Good for him.

877
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 2: An Australian show.

878
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,400
Speaker 3: Told Your Freedom with his motivation, I sense that.

879
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:18,160
Speaker 2: Exactly, guy, that's his motivation. An Australian show called Earshot

880
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 2: recently covered his crazy life, including his first escape from

881
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:26,800
Speaker 2: jail in nineteen sixty six, the Bogo Road jail and

882
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 2: he jumped in order to escape. He jumped from a

883
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 2: train on the way to the court hearing. I know

884
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 2: he'd been busted for breaking and entering, but at the

885
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,839
Speaker 2: restaurant for the press off. Jack said that there's one

886
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 2: escape that he's quote pretty proud of. Apparently he impersonated

887
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:47,360
Speaker 2: a detective and walked out of his court cell before trial.

888
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 2: On another.

889
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 3: He knows how we walk, how we talk.

890
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 2: He'd been arrested for he broke into these cars and

891
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 2: they found all the tools on him total. Anyway, he

892
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 2: walks right out. He's had a lot of health challenges

893
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 2: of late, and I think he's come forward in order

894
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 2: to get some help with fundraisers and such. Yeah. Remember

895
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,840
Speaker 2: there was controversy as to his real identity. There was

896
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 2: that artist called Jack Kay whose real name was supposed

897
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 2: to be Cecil George Edwards. Cecil George Edwards. I think

898
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 2: that's him, but the story's still really muddy. Anyway, that's

899
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,240
Speaker 2: the update. We got a great email from a listener

900
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 2: named Kit. It begins, I run an out patient's psychiatry practice.

901
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 2: Someone broke into our office and it was totally ridiculous.

902
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 2: Close your eyes, oh snaps, eren kid wants you to

903
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 2: picture it.

904
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 3: Oh kid, bring it. Eyes are closed.

905
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 2: It's two am and you are a half eaten Costco

906
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 2: sized bag of checks picks just hanging out in a

907
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:54,359
Speaker 2: cabinet with some fellow snackis next to a first aid

908
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 2: kit in the kitchenette of an office suite shared by

909
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 2: a group of mental health providers. Suddenly, the piece is

910
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 2: disturbed by a loud crash. It is the sound of

911
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 2: someone's smashing down the back door, an emergency exit that

912
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 2: apparently is not connected to any sort of alarm. For

913
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 2: the next few minutes, you hear the thieves rummaging around

914
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 2: each office. Some f bombs are dropped as soon as

915
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 2: they realize there's literally nothing valuable in any of the

916
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,800
Speaker 2: offices you've been in. Some of them pretty much just couches,

917
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:26,800
Speaker 2: coffee tables, and inspirational wall art, like the cat dangling

918
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 2: from a branch with the caption hang in there. I'll

919
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:31,839
Speaker 2: tell you. One thief yells to the other, I found

920
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 2: one of those machines that squeeze your arm. The other

921
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 2: yells back, I saw a projector in the conference room.

922
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 2: Go grab it. I'm gonna look in the kitchen. You're

923
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 2: blinded by light as the cabinet door swings open. The

924
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 2: next thing you know, you're tossed in a sack with

925
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 2: the first aid kit, a couple kansas soup, a box

926
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 2: of tissues, the projector, San's power cord, and a blood

927
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 2: pressure cuff. I am dying, Zaren, and I'm worried that

928
00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:58,720
Speaker 2: Kit is going to steal my jibs.

929
00:44:58,920 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 3: Seriously amazing.

930
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 2: That was so amazing. The email continues. The thing that

931
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 2: makes this crime even more ridiculous is that one of

932
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 2: the providers left their office keys on the desk and

933
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 2: the thieves stole them. I guess they wanted to let

934
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 2: themselves back in if they got hungry for another can

935
00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 2: of soup. All told, the burglars made off with about

936
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 2: sixty seven dollars of loot. It cost about fifteen hundred

937
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,000
Speaker 2: dollars to fix the back door. Because the stolen keys

938
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 2: included the key to the front door of the building.

939
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 2: We had to change that lock and make a new

940
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 2: front door key for everyone in the building. Locksmith bill

941
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 2: twenty six hundred dollars. How's that for ridiculous? Love the show.

942
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:37,920
Speaker 2: Keep bringing us the hilariously ridiculous Kit.

943
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 3: Thank you, Kit.

944
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 2: That was a legend.

945
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:42,359
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you served it up.

946
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 2: That's totally ridiculous. I'm always blown away by like low

947
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 2: stakes crimes, and I suppose that's a sign of serious

948
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 2: desperation or drunken or drunken, but it's still ridiculous and

949
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 2: it's so frustrating with those repair bills. That's that's the

950
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:56,919
Speaker 2: unspoken part of time.

951
00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 3: That's the thing I regret most about my adolescent crimes

952
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:02,839
Speaker 3: is how much damage I did to people who would

953
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 3: then have to pay for it. I didn't think obviously,

954
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 3: I didn't think about it at the time. If I'm

955
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:09,720
Speaker 3: from graffiti to like, hey, let's you know, boat across

956
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 3: that lake and break into that cabin or whatever we

957
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,479
Speaker 3: came up with as an idea, I regretted people.

958
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, so there you maya culpa. I have another update.

959
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 2: Remember your nuns, not the Belgian ones, but the Texas ones.

960
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,319
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, fighting the good fight. O fallen in love

961
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 2: with the priest. So the bishop had accused Mother Girlock

962
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 2: the mother Superior in Austin. Yeah, she was like sexting

963
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 2: and drugs. She admitted to breaking her vow of chastity

964
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 2: on two occasions, but she said that she only spoke

965
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 2: to the priest by phone.

966
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:39,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, they didn't know.

967
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 2: It was a lot of heavy breathing. I was not

968
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 2: in my right mind, she said. Even the nune can fall,

969
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 2: which like yeah, you're human, get it. I'm not going

970
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 2: to start in on that. Like, let's just leave it

971
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 2: lay where Jesus flaying it is, I like to say,

972
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 2: because I can go on a rant anyway. The bishop

973
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:58,439
Speaker 2: released photos of Weed inside the monastery that he said

974
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 2: he got the pictures from a maintenance.

975
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 3: Her and the is in the photos.

976
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:04,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the nuns lawyer is like hash.

977
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's like a little plastic bong like it's

978
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:10,279
Speaker 3: a terrible novelty from the headshop. Yeah.

979
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 2: Uh so she mother girl like she was hospitalized in

980
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:19,080
Speaker 2: November twenty twenty two for seizures. She's taken pain medication, Like,

981
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 2: was that medication the good er? Well, it's nobody's business

982
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 2: but the sisters. She uses a wheelchair and a feeding tube,

983
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 2: so let's just let the lady do her thing. The

984
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:31,359
Speaker 2: Vatican initially gave the bishop authority over the nuns as

985
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:33,560
Speaker 2: part of his land grab to get his grubby paws

986
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:37,440
Speaker 2: on the monastery. He went to fire Mother girlock nuns

987
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:41,799
Speaker 2: wouldn't budge. Bishop said he was going to excommunicate him. Okay,

988
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 2: so the Vatican stepped in, Yes they did, and the

989
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 2: nuns now have a new boss. Yeah, oversight will now

990
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 2: belong to the Association of Christ the King in the

991
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 2: United States of America. Oh and that's the association that

992
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 2: oversees all Carmelite monasteries, and the Vatican is the one

993
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 2: that decreed it. So the bishop's out of a picture.

994
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 3: Nice.

995
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:08,920
Speaker 2: Nice right, here's a good email. Here we hear, we

996
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 2: go email. I am a fan of your podcast. I

997
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 2: started listening recently from the beginning and it's been a

998
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 2: riot to listen to. I feel like you might get

999
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,839
Speaker 2: a kick out of the shenanigans that have become commonplace

1000
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:26,040
Speaker 2: for my university town. Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario, Canada,

1001
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,040
Speaker 2: gained the reputation of a party school in two thousand

1002
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 2: and five when during homecoming celebrations, a car was flipped

1003
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 2: and burned during a large street party.

1004
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:34,439
Speaker 3: Oh down.

1005
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:37,919
Speaker 2: Each year since then has been a spectacle of some sort,

1006
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 2: with twenty sixteen being my absolute favorite, when three people

1007
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 2: were charged after a police horse was slapped the pandemic

1008
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,840
Speaker 2: front end or back. You'll find out the pandemic changed

1009
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 2: homecoming in twenty twenty one to a virtual event, so

1010
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 2: faux coming happened on Saint Patrick's Day and caused students

1011
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 2: at a street party to cause a roof to collapse.

1012
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's so much more that I'm forgetting, which

1013
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:06,320
Speaker 2: I have no doubt you could hunt down if you're interested.

1014
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:10,320
Speaker 2: Stuff like students swinging from power lines. It's usually pretty ridiculous.

1015
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 2: I was prompted to send this email when I hosted

1016
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,240
Speaker 2: a clothing exchange and someone brought a Queen's Homecoming Volunteer

1017
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,720
Speaker 2: two thousand and five ball cap, Big Fan, Thanks, Aaron.

1018
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,839
Speaker 2: I was intrigued by the horse slapping. Let me fill

1019
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:26,800
Speaker 2: you in. I think I think we all are so

1020
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:30,839
Speaker 2: twenty sixteen, like Aaron said, Now, you would usually think

1021
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:33,760
Speaker 2: that I'd be outraged at a crime involving slapping and animals.

1022
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 3: Why I tried to apologize for my laugh, I don't know.

1023
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 2: This one has something I really love in it. Buckle up, FRIENDO. Okay,

1024
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 2: Three people, as she said, were charged after slapping Murnie,

1025
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:47,880
Speaker 2: a Kingston, Ontario police horse, and that during that homecoming celebration,

1026
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 2: Murnie was a new recruit, all bright eyed and silky made.

1027
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:55,680
Speaker 2: In all the present information, the officer riding Murnie is

1028
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 2: referred to as her partner, which I love so much

1029
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 2: it hurts. Oh yeah, so Mernie got slapped the first

1030
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,399
Speaker 2: time at two fifty five pm, and then again five

1031
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:08,760
Speaker 2: minutes later, and then a third time around three thirty pm,

1032
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,879
Speaker 2: and a woman was detained and then released. At the scene,

1033
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 2: two guys were arrested and they were charged with causing

1034
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 2: injury to a law enforcement animal.

1035
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:17,799
Speaker 3: Oh so they really tried to slap it hard.

1036
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 2: Well, here's the thing. You know how, I love when

1037
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 2: wild animals turn on people who are trying to keep

1038
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 2: them in captivity. Like the lady who had a chimp

1039
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:26,359
Speaker 2: in her suburban home and it ripped her face off.

1040
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:27,719
Speaker 3: I love that.

1041
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 2: Do it a good I love it. So the horse here,

1042
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 2: the victim took back some agency. There's a video and

1043
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 2: it's glorious. The woman who was detained to the scene,

1044
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 2: she like runs up behind the horse. But the horse

1045
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:43,000
Speaker 2: is beautiful.

1046
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:44,480
Speaker 3: But I hope she didn't hit the back end.

1047
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 2: Oh, it gives the rump a big old slap. Oh

1048
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:52,359
Speaker 2: she's funny. Now you've been around horses. Yeah, common sense, Yeah,

1049
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 2: this action lacks a sort of common sense. The horse

1050
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:58,799
Speaker 2: does what a horse would and should do. It gives

1051
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 2: old girl a swift backwards kick and sends her tumbling.

1052
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:06,800
Speaker 2: It is a thing of glorious beauty. I have watched

1053
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 2: it so many times. You know how seeing people get

1054
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,279
Speaker 2: hurt in videos or in real life gives me those

1055
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:13,839
Speaker 2: shooting pains, mostly my legs.

1056
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:15,239
Speaker 3: Its Yeah huh.

1057
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 2: We still haven't figured out what that's all about. But

1058
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:23,839
Speaker 2: this I felt no pain. Really, I felt power, because

1059
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 2: you know what, the summer of Dark Elizabeth continues.

1060
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:27,240
Speaker 3: It's so fired.

1061
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,960
Speaker 2: After the incident and the video showing up on Instagram,

1062
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:35,320
Speaker 2: Constable Steve Coopman told Global News quote, it could have

1063
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:38,880
Speaker 2: been a much worse situation. The animal still kept its composure.

1064
00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:41,879
Speaker 2: Luckily the animal didn't bolt and the officer wasn't armed.

1065
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 2: And yeah, bless oh yeah, because just go right open. Okay,

1066
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:50,800
Speaker 2: here's an email that's a little different. Hello, Elizabeth and

1067
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,800
Speaker 2: zaren So. I started listening to Ridiculous Crime about a

1068
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:56,640
Speaker 2: year ago, and only started listening from the beginning a

1069
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 2: few months ago. It has come to my attention that

1070
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:02,400
Speaker 2: we know a weird amount about y'all, but have some

1071
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 2: very large gaps missing. Me and a friend I listen

1072
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:09,359
Speaker 2: with have started referring to anything we know about your

1073
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 2: and y'all's lives has since been coined ridiculous crime lore.

1074
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 2: Please enlighten us and fill in a few of my

1075
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 2: blanks by answering some or none or all. Pick your

1076
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 2: poison of my various questions.

1077
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:22,279
Speaker 3: Oh they got real questions?

1078
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:23,719
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm going to read you the questions here

1079
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 2: and we'll pick some. Sure, Elizabeth, how did you get

1080
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 2: into podcasting?

1081
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:28,280
Speaker 3: Great question?

1082
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 2: How did y'all meet? It's obvious you knew each other before,

1083
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 2: But for how long and how well? Is there actually

1084
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 2: a wall full of story ideas? Why did you stop

1085
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:41,319
Speaker 2: asking us to confess to ridiculous crimes at the end

1086
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 2: of every episode? Who writes the show credits? What's your

1087
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 2: favorite type of hot sauce?

1088
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 5: Say?

1089
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 2: I was a dog in sunglasses? How would I get

1090
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 2: an intern position? What jobs have you had in the past?

1091
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:56,320
Speaker 2: I know Zaren was a journalist and Elizabeth was a

1092
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 2: teacher and author and for a short time work today's hardware.

1093
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,480
Speaker 2: How old are you? Guys? You don't sound old at all,

1094
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 2: but Elizabeth has talked about cassette tapes and it makes

1095
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:10,480
Speaker 2: me wonder, how, Elizabeth, how old is your Goodreads author profile?

1096
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,400
Speaker 2: Because I know you now live in California?

1097
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:12,719
Speaker 3: Again?

1098
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 2: If you ever do end up reading this email. Thank

1099
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:16,600
Speaker 2: you for your time, Brent.

1100
00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 3: Those are great questions, Brent.

1101
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 2: Those are good I can tell you about I'm locked

1102
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,760
Speaker 2: out of my good Reads author profile. They don't believe

1103
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:26,840
Speaker 2: that I'm the author, of course, and they don't let me.

1104
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 2: I do all their little thing of prove it up,

1105
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,680
Speaker 2: and they keep saying sorry, it doesn't and I don't

1106
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:32,640
Speaker 2: know what I'm doing wrong.

1107
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:33,640
Speaker 3: That's weird.

1108
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 2: So whatever, I hate good Reads for a lot of reasons.

1109
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 2: Let's see. So is there a wall full of story ideas?

1110
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 3: There is the big boards we called it literally is

1111
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 3: a corkboard too. I have a giant corkboard that I

1112
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:52,040
Speaker 3: maintained for Elizabeth because she doesn't like poking things into

1113
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 3: the corkboards. I'm like, I'll take care of it. So anyway,

1114
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:55,280
Speaker 3: it's a big.

1115
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:58,280
Speaker 2: Board question writing. So I write the cards.

1116
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:01,320
Speaker 3: Much better handwriting. And then Dave's got best taste in

1117
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,800
Speaker 3: the stories. So between the three of us we generally

1118
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:04,760
Speaker 3: kind of figure out.

1119
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 2: Some fox cards the index cards. Yes, I'm sorry I

1120
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:09,320
Speaker 2: should describe that subject on it.

1121
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 3: So there has some like mention of either like a

1122
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 3: recommendation from you guys, or possibly just like a three

1123
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,440
Speaker 3: word phrase that Elizabeth came up with and like some

1124
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:21,000
Speaker 3: fever dream and then wrote down and the interns like

1125
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:22,760
Speaker 3: gave it to us. We put on the big board.

1126
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 2: So you have some on the here at headquarters, on

1127
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 2: the big board that will never get made.

1128
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 3: Oh, like Nigerian dick theft.

1129
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 2: Nigerian dick theft. It's just fun to have up there.

1130
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, so we just keep that one up there, like, oh,

1131
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:34,600
Speaker 3: we'll get that there. It is never doing that.

1132
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:37,640
Speaker 2: Why why did we stop asking people to confess to crimes?

1133
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:39,799
Speaker 2: I think it was twofold.

1134
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 3: We didn't want to encourage people to do criminality and

1135
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:43,880
Speaker 3: some of them.

1136
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:46,080
Speaker 2: Are like, that's not really crime. Yeah, it was just

1137
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:47,239
Speaker 2: it just doesn't work it out.

1138
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 3: And sad stories, a lot of sad stories.

1139
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:55,920
Speaker 2: Who writes the show credits? We take turns telling the story.

1140
00:54:56,040 --> 00:55:01,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, so Elizabeth writes hers, and I write, Elizabeth, what.

1141
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 2: Is your favorite type of hot sauce?

1142
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 3: Daring, stolen? What's yours? Elizabeth?

1143
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:09,440
Speaker 2: Tiger sauce? I like tiger.

1144
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 3: I think, in all honesty, I'm pretty boring because the

1145
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 3: I still love the taste of mckilney's and everything. I

1146
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,760
Speaker 3: just compared to that, So really That is my favorite.

1147
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 3: The Maclanies like the old school tabasco sauce.

1148
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:24,399
Speaker 2: Okay, I walked into the kitchen at headquarters the other

1149
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:27,680
Speaker 2: day and you didn't see me, and I watched you

1150
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 2: grind half a container of pepper onto a sand. Love

1151
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 2: pepper so he gets more pepper?

1152
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 3: Oh yeah no, but I love like. I had to

1153
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:37,080
Speaker 3: learn how to say pimiento when I was traveling in

1154
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 3: Colombia because they don't keep it on the table. I'm like,

1155
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:42,359
Speaker 3: what does this just salt? Just salt? Like, where's my pimiento?

1156
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:44,239
Speaker 2: I stood there in the in the doorway and I

1157
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 2: was like, I hope he doesn't see me. This is creepy.

1158
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:49,359
Speaker 3: It's always in the air. Can smell it in the air.

1159
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:50,960
Speaker 3: When I'm dune. I grind so much pepper.

1160
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:53,240
Speaker 2: It's I've never seen a person eat that much pepper.

1161
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 3: People like, you know, when you go to a place

1162
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,560
Speaker 3: where they have like actual pepper grinder and you have

1163
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,239
Speaker 3: to ask for it. Now they do always the joke

1164
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,120
Speaker 3: with the cheese and there, oh I got to grind

1165
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:03,120
Speaker 3: the cheese. I'm bad for the pepper grinder. But the

1166
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:04,480
Speaker 3: person's like, I didn't know it was going to work

1167
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 3: out today, sir, what about the vinegar peppers? Do you

1168
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 3: like to use that for hot sauce? That's kind of

1169
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:15,880
Speaker 3: my thing for barbecue. You have much better taste than

1170
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:17,840
Speaker 3: I do, do you. Well, it's it depends on what

1171
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:18,319
Speaker 3: I'm eating.

1172
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:21,280
Speaker 4: Like they as has been revealed on the show previously,

1173
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 4: that Red's hot sauce, which comes in a couple of kinds,

1174
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:27,040
Speaker 4: I really like as a kind of all purpose uh

1175
00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 4: trulula for Mexican food, sure, and those like you know,

1176
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:35,239
Speaker 4: there's like a bottle, a clear bottle of peppers with

1177
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 4: covered in vinegar, and that's the best for barbecue for sure.

1178
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:44,160
Speaker 2: Definitely the best for barbecue. I agree with that. If

1179
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,840
Speaker 2: you're a dog in sunglasses and you want an intern position,

1180
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 2: then you just submit your resume to our head intern Mickey.

1181
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,399
Speaker 3: Yes, and we do need a pawprint, yeah.

1182
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:55,279
Speaker 2: And then as far as other interns, don't you don't

1183
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:56,839
Speaker 2: want It's the worst job in the world.

1184
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:58,239
Speaker 3: It's a lot of butts sniffing.

1185
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:05,680
Speaker 2: The aren't the dug So that I have one more message,

1186
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 2: Do we have any other questions?

1187
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:07,600
Speaker 3: Some other ones?

1188
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:10,799
Speaker 2: How did we meet a long time ago?

1189
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 3: I'm not telling you that. Next question, how old.

1190
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:14,439
Speaker 2: Are we a lady?

1191
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:17,640
Speaker 3: Never tell yes? Next question I like skipping.

1192
00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 2: What jobs have you had in the past, is Aaron

1193
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:21,280
Speaker 2: you were a journalist?

1194
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been a lot of things as a journalist.

1195
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:25,640
Speaker 3: Have been a house spanner. I've delivered kosher pizzas, I've

1196
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:29,880
Speaker 3: delivered Chinese food. I have gone around and tried to

1197
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:32,960
Speaker 3: sell TV shows to people. I've done all sort of

1198
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 3: been an ad man for a while. Yeah, I've been

1199
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 3: a bunch of stuff. What about you, Elizabeth?

1200
00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:46,440
Speaker 2: You know, drifter, smoker, hobo, nickel collector and saleswoman exactly,

1201
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:49,240
Speaker 2: exactly America's Sweetheart.

1202
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 3: That's lasting title.

1203
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:52,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I had that job for a while.

1204
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 3: You're what america sweetheart emeritus?

1205
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:59,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly a Maratha. How did I get into podcasting?

1206
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 3: The show opened the door and I walked right in.

1207
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 3: That's where we record men.

1208
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:06,120
Speaker 2: I told them. I told them that my name was

1209
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 2: something else. I was like, Hi, my name's Hillary Clinton.

1210
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:11,960
Speaker 2: I'm here for my podcast, and they bought it. Yeah,

1211
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:12,760
Speaker 2: and then here I am.

1212
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 3: I was I was actually woken up from induced coma,

1213
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 3: and they said, do you know what a podcast is?

1214
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 3: And when I said no, then they gave me.

1215
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 2: One exactly see that's how it works. I think that's it.

1216
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:24,960
Speaker 2: That's all the story. Yeah, that's good on that one.

1217
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 2: So let me give you one last message, Zarah and

1218
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 2: Elizabeth and Dave. I know that no one, not even

1219
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:35,760
Speaker 2: the poor poor interns, will check this email, but I

1220
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:38,439
Speaker 2: have no social media, so this is my only option

1221
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 2: to reach out to you all. I just wanted to

1222
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:42,720
Speaker 2: send a quick thank you message to all of you

1223
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:46,440
Speaker 2: for the wonderful show you all produced. As a physical therapist,

1224
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 2: I spend all day focused on my patients and their

1225
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:53,960
Speaker 2: complex medical, physical, and mental situations. I very much appreciate

1226
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:56,720
Speaker 2: your show as a part of my unwinding and self

1227
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 2: care when I get home. I'm not so sure how

1228
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:02,360
Speaker 2: much my cat's appreciate my snorting laughs, but they perk

1229
00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:05,800
Speaker 2: up at your voices. I very much appreciate your contributions

1230
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 2: to the world via Ridiculous Crime. I learned so much,

1231
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 2: laugh heartily, and regain my faith in humanity when I

1232
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:13,720
Speaker 2: listen to you all, and wish y'all were my best friends.

1233
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:18,640
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. Cc oh we hear this that

1234
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 2: the show is a relief from the garbage around us

1235
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:23,400
Speaker 2: in a way to unwind and like connect with it,

1236
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 2: and I want to say that the feeling is one

1237
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:27,280
Speaker 2: hundred percent mutual.

1238
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:28,000
Speaker 3: We do it for you.

1239
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, because like the insanity that is ridiculous crime

1240
00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 2: keeps us sane. I can't properly explain to you what

1241
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:38,600
Speaker 2: it means to connect with people I've never met like this,

1242
00:59:39,240 --> 00:59:41,400
Speaker 2: And like, sometimes I have a tough time of things,

1243
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:44,240
Speaker 2: like we all do, and when I come into headquarters

1244
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:46,120
Speaker 2: and I get to sit with my friends and tell

1245
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:49,400
Speaker 2: stories and escape, it is the greatest feeling in the world.

1246
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:52,400
Speaker 2: And so knowing that that great feeling makes other people

1247
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:55,600
Speaker 2: feel good goly. And I don't usually think of it

1248
00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 2: beyond that, right like I think of us we make it.

1249
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:00,080
Speaker 2: But then we hear from listeners who have us in

1250
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 2: their lives twice a week, and it's a little overwhelming,

1251
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:05,520
Speaker 2: you know. And people all over the world in places

1252
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:08,360
Speaker 2: I would only dream of visiting, like I'm looking at you, Cleveland,

1253
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,680
Speaker 2: they hear us, and they and they enjoy being part

1254
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:13,920
Speaker 2: of it, you know, And they are there. The listeners

1255
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 2: are totally a part of this. They're part of the conversation.

1256
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:19,000
Speaker 2: So when we get messages like this, my heart gets full.

1257
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 2: And that's something very necessary in this world totally.

1258
01:00:21,560 --> 01:00:24,400
Speaker 3: My little grinch heart just grew to twelve sizes. So

1259
01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 3: thank you, honestly, I mean it means the world to

1260
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 3: us because we do this for you guys. You know

1261
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 3: obviously there there is you know, iHeart and stuff like

1262
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:35,000
Speaker 3: we have to. We have people going, hey, you guys

1263
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 3: do stuff, but we really do it for you guys.

1264
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:38,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. That's all makes it so.

1265
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:40,120
Speaker 3: Happy to come in here and tell stories.

1266
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:42,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that we are all together in this. We're

1267
01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 2: totally together, is so, Zaren. What's your ridiculous takeaway?

1268
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:52,760
Speaker 3: My ridiculous takeaway, Elizabeth, thank you for asking is I

1269
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 3: think we need to tell more stories about crime, evolve,

1270
01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:00,920
Speaker 3: living legends who are still around so we can hear updates.

1271
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:02,400
Speaker 3: I like this here and the updates.

1272
01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:03,680
Speaker 2: I love the updates.

1273
01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:06,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, nothing against like the history ones. I love those two.

1274
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:08,760
Speaker 3: But being able to be able to hear from like

1275
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:11,800
Speaker 3: succulent Chinese meal man is awesome.

1276
01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:16,080
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what my ridiculous takeaway is. Thank you

1277
01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 2: for asking me.

1278
01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 3: I didn't really care, but okay, fine, okay, I'm trying

1279
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:21,360
Speaker 3: to take on your callous attitude.

1280
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:25,680
Speaker 2: It feels good, dark Elizabeth. Kids coming from a job

1281
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:32,760
Speaker 2: with her picture or there picture it. That's all I have. Oh, Dave,

1282
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 2: do we have a talk back?

1283
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:50,360
Speaker 3: We sure do? Oh God, I love je. Hi.

1284
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 5: What you guys do is amazing and I think you

1285
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:54,040
Speaker 5: guys couldn't really keep it up.

1286
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:57,920
Speaker 2: I was watching them on your past episode. Reason it

1287
01:01:58,080 --> 01:01:58,640
Speaker 2: was really good.

1288
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:01,760
Speaker 5: No, thank you, thank you.

1289
01:02:02,640 --> 01:02:05,080
Speaker 2: That's very nice. I thought there was more.

1290
01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:07,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't know. Yeah, what a sweet voice, though.

1291
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:10,040
Speaker 2: Dave's like, then she threatened your life, so I cult it.

1292
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:13,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's the last half.

1293
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:16,600
Speaker 2: You can find us online at ridiculous Crime dot com.

1294
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:20,360
Speaker 2: We're also at ridiculous Crime on Twitter and Instagram. Obviously.

1295
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:23,120
Speaker 2: You can email us at ridiculous Crime at gmail dot

1296
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:27,520
Speaker 2: com leave a talkback on the iHeart app reach out.

1297
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 2: Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaren Burnette,

1298
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:38,920
Speaker 2: produced and edited by Keeper of the Keeper of the

1299
01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 2: Emails Dave Kusten, starring annals Rucker as Judith. Research is

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Speaker 2: by Slapper of Horse Slappers, Marisa Brown and nineteen eighties

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Speaker 2: radio shack hacker Andrea Song Sharp and Tear. The theme

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Speaker 2: song is by Thomas Lee and Travis Dutton, two men

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Speaker 2: who enjoy a succulent Chinese meal. Post wardrobe is provided

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Speaker 2: by Botany five Hun Guest hair and makeup by Sparkleshot

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Speaker 2: and mister Andre. Executive producers are Ben. This meeting could

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Speaker 2: have been an email Bowlin and Noel. This email could

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Speaker 2: have been a rock opera.

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Speaker 5: Brown Ridicous Crime, Say It One More Time Piquious Crime.

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Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio four more podcasts.

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Speaker 1: My heart Radio visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

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Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.