WEBVTT - One Sentence That Can Change Your Life 0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:06.760 Welcome everyone to this edition of Amy and TJ. It 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:11.520 is Saturday, September twenty seventh, and I happened to be 0:00:11.600 --> 0:00:17.120 reading this amazing buzz feed article TJ. And the headline 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:20.840 was one sentence that can change your life. 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:23.880 Oh, you fell for the clickbait? You fell for it? 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:28.320 I did. But then, yes, they were really really good. 0:00:28.360 --> 0:00:31.480 I think there were thirty three of them, and I 0:00:31.560 --> 0:00:33.919 read every one of them, and I was I think 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:36.080 I was reading them aloud to you, and I think 0:00:36.120 --> 0:00:40.440 I was annoying you kind of like no, yes, And 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:42.000 I said, you know what, you know what. I'm going 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:43.680 to stop because I can see you're not in the 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:45.400 mood for this. But this is going to be a 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:48.559 great podcast because I yes, because I actually wanted to 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.519 get your take. First of all, do you think one 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:56.840 sentence like hearing one thought can actually change someone's life? 0:00:56.960 --> 0:01:00.880 Of course again absolutely again changes the life all the time. 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:05.119 One thought, one statement like you know I do? 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:07.240 Will you marry me? Yeah? 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:09.400 They could change everything. You're fired. 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:15.240 Okay, Yes, those are very practical, actionable. These are more 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:18.960 thought provoking, but they just get you thinking about all 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:24.200 the ways that we trip ourselves up. So anyway, I 0:01:24.240 --> 0:01:27.000 picked seven of them that I thought were the best, 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:28.920 or the ones at least that spoke to me the most. 0:01:29.040 --> 0:01:31.199 What's the title again of the article seven? 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:33.760 One sentence that can change your lientence that. 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:34.640 Can change your life? 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:37.000 So am I going to agree that each of these 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:38.800 sentences might change my life? 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:41.600 I'm curious to get your take. We can see how 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:44.800 we both read or perceive, or just how we react 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:48.480 to them. But this first one I really liked, and 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:49.240 I think you will too. 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:50.680 Where these coming from? Just random? 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:54.040 Yes, brandom people wrote in and gay and some of 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:57.080 them had experiences attached to them, but they were really 0:01:57.080 --> 0:02:00.560 cool in thought provoking. Here's the first one. Everyone you 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:05.520 meet knows something that you don't. 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:09.000 Yeah, I certainly agree with that. It's not something we 0:02:09.080 --> 0:02:13.840 keep in mind. I don't think too often we run 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:17.079 into people, let's just say, even lower on the totem pole, 0:02:17.160 --> 0:02:20.160 we don't give people that we think are beneath us 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:24.040 in a professional manner, in a socioeconomic manner, or a 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:25.600 matter of public status. 0:02:26.840 --> 0:02:27.519 You can't. 0:02:27.560 --> 0:02:30.080 You don't have anything to teach me, And we dismiss 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:34.480 those people too often. Man, I learned stuff from college 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:39.120 kids I met this weekend. Listening to them. So, yeah, 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:41.520 that's something we need to keep in mind. Take with you, 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:43.400 and that should be practiced. You shouldn't have to keep 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:43.960 that in mind. 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:47.240 I never thought about this, but how life changing is 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:51.600 it if instead of being judgmental or dismissive, you're curious 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:54.960 because you want to learn from somebody, no matter how old, 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:59.360 how young, whether you think you are more educated and 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:03.720 there you know, just have nothing to give you in 0:03:03.800 --> 0:03:07.320 terms of intellect. If you actually flip that and always 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:09.640 considered when someone came up to you, even someone who's 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:13.120 annoying you, you could put this into practice for all 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.239 sorts of different people you meet that you might maybe 0:03:16.280 --> 0:03:19.320 have a negative initial reaction to. If you just tell yourself, 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:24.520 I they know something I don't. Everyone you meet knows 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:28.239 something that you don't. It just puts perspective into place. 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:31.480 You are not the end all be all, and you 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:34.480 don't know everything, and we still all have so much 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:35.840 to learn from one another. 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:39.640 Even a child can teach you plenting. And now I'm 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:42.880 just talking about all the new slang on TikTok. I 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:46.480 mean every kids people have different experiences. I yes, always listen, 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:48.920 always pay attention, and always appreciate that you are going 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:52.160 to walk away from somebody better and smarter because of 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:52.760 something they. 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:55.400 Gave you if you were open to it. That's the 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:57.520 big if. All right, So I love that everyone you 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:01.080 meet knows something that you don't. All right, here's this 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:06.120 is so me. Oh, I love this. A coworker once 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:10.320 told me. Nobody on their deathbed says I wish I 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:16.320 had worked more. Ain't that perspective if you can consider 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:20.200 that when you're trying to plan your day or figure 0:04:20.240 --> 0:04:22.520 out how you're spending your time. And it's not about 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:27.279 being lazy or unmotivated or justifying being unemployed because you 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:30.000 don't feel like it. But this is to the people 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:33.320 who work their asses off to the point that they 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:36.320 forget to enjoy their life. And I think so many 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:38.719 of us fall into this. I can tell you this. 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:46.400 Before cancer, I proudly and repeatedly bragged about the vacation 0:04:46.600 --> 0:04:51.640 days that I didn't take because I thought that meant 0:04:51.920 --> 0:04:56.839 I was a hard worker and that that should be applauded. 0:04:57.080 --> 0:04:59.200 And it should, But not to the extent in which 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:01.560 you sacrifice things that you'll never get back. 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:08.400 Does anyone even now in their current life think man 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:11.240 whereshd I work more. It doesn't seem like any of ours. 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:13.599 I mean, obviously we get the point being made on 0:05:13.640 --> 0:05:16.640 the deathbed, the regrets and always it's the thing you're 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:21.440 always harping on. Nobody ever regrets the things they did. 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:23.960 They regret the things they didn't do, same kind of 0:05:24.720 --> 0:05:29.719 deathbed idea. But I I don't know. I guess I did. 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:30.440 It, and we guess. 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:33.920 Our industry is pretty unique in that way that it 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:36.880 is as a bad honor that you worked sixteen hours. 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:39.880 It's insanity, it's it's it's. 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.840 Unhealthy, and that's why your chest feels that way, and 0:05:44.000 --> 0:05:48.640 that's why your marriage is where it is, right, that's 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:51.800 but yeah, it's at what point do you do that? 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:54.520 And sometimes people will tell you have to wait till 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:56.640 you get to a certain place or status in life 0:05:56.640 --> 0:05:57.000 that you. 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:57.920 Can take a break. 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:01.080 Maybe that's reasonable, but it's still something to carry around, 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:03.359 even it's not a hard rule. At whatever age you are, 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:04.880 that's got to be in the back. 0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:05.080 Of your mind. 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:07.040 And you don't know what age you get to be. 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:09.600 No one knows how old we're going to be when 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:13.000 our health deteriorates, when we aren't able to travel anymore. 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:15.760 When we have a sudden illness, when there is an accident, 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:18.080 you just don't know, so you can't just take it 0:06:18.120 --> 0:06:20.080 for granted. Oh I'll do it in ten years. I'll 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:22.080 do it when I've got this much money, or when 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:26.080 I'm established here. I always say this too, I've never 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:28.960 regretted a vacation like, oh I wish I hadn't taken 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:32.400 that vacation. Maybe I've regretted who I've vacationed with, but 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:36.080 I certainly am not regretted taking a vacation. I mean, 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:37.920 I'm kidding when I say that, but you know what 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:42.440 I mean. No, but here once again, I just loved 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:47.400 this life changing sentence. A coworker once told me, nobody 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:50.880 on their deathbed says I wish I had worked more. 0:06:51.400 --> 0:06:56.400 All right, I think I think you're going to I 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:58.920 think you're gonna like this one. You might say, EU, 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:01.760 but I think you're gonna get it because you've said 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:07.200 something similar to me as this sentence. When people drive 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:11.600 like assholes, tell yourself that maybe they just need to 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:12.800 poop very badly. 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:16.720 Yes, Uh, in some way, form or fashion, this is 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:19.960 just a matter of giving people a break. Give everybody 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:22.840 a little grace because you do not know what they're 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:25.960 going through. You might not get good service from that waiter, 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:27.560 and you know what, they might have just found out 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:31.080 that there that lump actually is cancer. 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:33.360 Just give everybody a. 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:36.480 Beat, no matter how mean and nasty of a human 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:39.320 being they seem to be. We all have bad moments, 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:41.560 and I bet you anything you can explain away your 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:44.680 bad moment because what had a bad day, got bad news, 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:45.680 didn't get enough rest. 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:46.400 I got it right. 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:49.960 You can excuse yourself. Well, stop judging everybody else by 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:53.800 their worst actions and judging yourself your best intentions, and 0:07:53.920 --> 0:07:56.120 give people a freaking break. 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:58.880 I know, you know. It just reminded me, babe, when 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:02.600 I when I I just got word the day before 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:05.080 Thanksgiving that I was going to have to go through 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:08.080 six rounds of chemo. I was devastated. I had been crying. 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:10.360 I walk on a train and my friend was trying 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:12.440 to figure out what train I was on. I had 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:16.320 accidentally wandered into the no talking or the quiet train, 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:19.560 and all I was doing I had like once to 0:08:19.600 --> 0:08:21.400 say what train I was on, and this guy yelled 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:24.320 at me, go shit and started screaming at me. And 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:26.320 it was the day and I literally lost it, and 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:31.000 I thought to myself, never underestimate what someone might be 0:08:31.080 --> 0:08:34.240 going through, And that personally happened to me, and I 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:37.240 do try to remember that. What I also loved about 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:41.520 this sentence was that it did put humor into it. 0:08:41.960 --> 0:08:45.360 So if you're angry, if you tell yourself that, you'll 0:08:45.400 --> 0:08:48.480 actually start laughing. So not only might you feel compassion, 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:51.920 but you'll also get the humor of it too. So yes, 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:55.840 once again, for you, when people drive like assholes, tell 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:59.800 yourself that maybe they just need to poop very badly. 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:02.439 Some fun with this before somebody will do. And I'll say, 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:04.040 you know what, give him a break, he has to 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:07.880 wear that shirt. Whatever you have to tell yourself. 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:08.200 Yep. 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:09.280 Just give people a beat. 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:11.960 Yep. Even if it means laughing a little, it is. 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:12.600 Oh. 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:15.400 And it also it frees you of resentment and anger 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:19.080 that only eats you up inside. That person doesn't even 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:22.680 know you're mad, so you're only harming yourself. Yes, okay, 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:26.520 that which kind of leads me to the next life 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:31.360 changing sentence. How about if you always just ask yourself 0:09:31.400 --> 0:09:35.000 this when you're feeling all those negative feelings, here's the sentence, 0:09:36.200 --> 0:09:41.200 Can you do anything? About it. Does that speak to you? 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:44.720 Uh, there's a tattoo on my arm and says surrender. Yes, 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:45.439 that speaks to me. 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:47.760 I thought surrender was shorter than the sentence you read, 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:49.040 so that's why I went, it's not really. 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:50.480 A sentence if it's just one word. 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:52.480 It's but it was just you see this is what 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:53.400 I mean. You don't listen. 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:56.520 You didn't hear me finish my statement here? Oh my good, 0:09:56.600 --> 0:09:57.360 see what I deal with? 0:09:57.400 --> 0:09:57.760 Folks? 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:06.200 Oh christ on sale. But yes, to that point, it's 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:12.240 that moment I find that I am upset about something 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:15.480 that's happening, and as soon as I realize there is 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:17.200 not a thing in the world I can do about 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:21.000 what's happening. Now I am the idiot for being upset 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:23.559 about it. Why put myself through the ect. We're all 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:24.960 gonna be in the I'm gonna be in the same 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:28.200 spot no matter whether I'm crying or whether I'm dancing. 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:29.640 So I'll go dance. 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:33.040 You know, I have seen you have that recognition in 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:36.640 that moment where you're like, and I've actually been surprised, 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:39.599 like wow, you're kind of handling this really well, and 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:41.400 you're like, what can I do about it? Like I've 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:44.720 actually heard you say yes a version of this sentence 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:46.760 many many, many times when things. 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:48.360 Go wrong, and the only time you usually see me 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:53.520 upset is when somebody screws my plan up, and then 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:56.760 I'm mad at myself, like why did I even trust 0:10:57.040 --> 0:10:57.680 this person? 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:03.320 So I'm said, I screwed up in that moment. 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:08.040 But no, I understand when you know what flights, flight delays, 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:11.360 flight can't those things? Oh, how frustrating. Nothing in the 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:13.120 world I can do. Why am I going to sweat it? 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:15.400 I feel like when I'm in a cab or an 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:18.040 uber and I'm stuck in traffic and I know I'm 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:21.280 gonna be late. That is the most stress. I feel 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:24.040 so much stress. And then you that is when you 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:27.640 have to say, ain't nothing I can do about it? 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:30.400 So yes, can you do anything about it? If you 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:33.040 can just ask yourself that in the moment where you're 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:37.080 feeling your blood just boiling, that is going to give 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:40.480 you peace, because either you can or you can't, And 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:42.200 then you have to get to the place of peace, 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:47.200 which is called acceptance or surrender. As TJ's tattoo says, 0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:51.920 I I'm gonna I'm gonna see because I read the 0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:55.360 explanation behind it. I don't know how you're gonna feel 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:59.160 about this next supposed life changing sentence, but I really 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:01.920 appreciated it. I think you're gonnah, you're gonna get it. 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:07.720 All sun and no rain makes a desert. 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:13.760 I think I've heard something along these lines before. I 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:16.000 guess it's just a caution. Every tale about you don't 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:22.160 there's something necessary. There's another side that's necessary, and not 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:25.640 just this thing that right, we love some sun and 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:27.840 we seem to not want a rain cloud ever, right, 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:31.560 don't we want to go through life never see another storm. 0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:36.120 It's not gonna work exactly well. And yes, that's one interpretation. 0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:39.719 Another one that this person wrote in about was we 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:44.320 all want sunny skies, yes, but we all want to 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:46.880 be happy, right, to be sunny, to be bright. But 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:50.240 sometimes you're gonna have to cry. Sometimes the rain is 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:51.960 gonna have to come. You're going to have to let 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:55.960 that negativity, that emotion out in order to feel the sun, 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:59.360 to recognize the sun, to appreciate the sun. You have to, yes, 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:01.040 see the rain, but you have to let it out. 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:03.960 So they were even making the point that the rain 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:09.679 are tears. Do you ever cry? You cry of happiness. 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.760 Yeah, I don't cry a lot anymore. I used to. 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:15.920 That's good. 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:19.160 Yeah, I'm thinking about that. Yeah, I used to shed 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:22.120 many many tears. Yeah, I don't cry as much anymore. 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:27.880 I see you cry when you're moved by other people's kindness, 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:33.720 joy like generosity. You cry tears of joy and like 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:37.480 you're moved emotionally, but not because you're sad or angry. 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:38.640 I don't see that. 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:39.959 I've always been that guy. 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:43.200 I'm younger, I'm moved by things, yes, absolutely, and I 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:45.760 will shed a tear. I did it plenty on television. 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:48.319 No problem with that about it. Not trying to hide it, 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:49.200 not a problem. 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:52.240 I have not cried that much very lately. I am 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:55.000 a crier. But I did appreciate this that it gives 0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:58.200 you at least you know. We do have to cleanse 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:02.720 ourselves of and however we do it, but sometimes tears 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:06.040 are a way out, and for a lot of us 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:09.400 who do tend to cry, I felt like this this 0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:13.240 was permission and even acceptance that it's part of And 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:16.160 if you don't, yeah, what do you have left? You 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:19.280 can't just have sunshine, you have to have the tears. 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:21.560 You have to have the dark times. So I liked 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:24.960 that a lot. All right, when we come back the 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:30.640 last two life changing sentences, one is fowards, one is 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:33.760 three words, and I think they are two of the 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:38.400 most powerful sentences that I heard on this entire list. 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:50.800 So stay tuned and welcome back to Amy and TJ, 0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:55.920 where we are discussing seven life changing sentences. This was 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:58.600 a BuzzFeed article I saw. There were I think as 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:02.560 many as thirty three thirty four different sentences, but these 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:05.480 were my seven favorite. And this next one, well, the 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:09.120 next two are very short and very simple, but pack 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:13.800 a big punch. This one. The person who put this 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:16.680 in or sent this in said that this changed his 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:23.040 relationship in like completely, in every way. He finally learned 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:27.800 this sentence and meant it when he said it, and 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:32.320 he said the response was life changing. You might be right. 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:37.800 Instead of challenging or arguing or defending or all of 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:41.480 the natural responses when someone says something that you don't 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:44.920 like or that you disagree with, he said, I've just 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:51.400 learned that you might be right. And how it changes 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:54.840 a conversation, it changes a room, and it changes your life. 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:56.239 It changes your perspective. 0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:58.880 Okay, I haven't been using this in the right way. 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:01.320 I guess what you're talking about, and that is the 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:04.200 proper way to use such a thing. I often use 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:07.320 it to be dismissive because I don't want. 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:07.760 To talk about it. 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:08.920 You say it sarcastically. 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:14.200 I when someone especially wants to insult me or coming 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:16.680 at me in some personal way, a challenge like that, 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:20.280 my be rain. What do you say after you insult 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:21.920 someone and they go, maybe you're right? 0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:23.200 That kind of. 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:26.920 Shuts This wasn't meant to be used in that fashion. 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:31.560 This person wrote in and said and actually said, when 0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:35.960 you really open your mind to that possibility, it a 0:16:36.160 --> 0:16:38.840 gives that other person piece, but it also gives you 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:42.440 that same idea that maybe you still have something to learn. 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:44.960 To each his and her own. And if that's the 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:46.360 way you want to use it to change your life, 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:48.840 I'm giving you another way to use it to change 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:53.160 your life. When somebody is coming at you like as 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:56.520 passionate as all get out, mad as hell, calling you 0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:58.240 whatever kind of name, like the woman on. 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:01.360 The plane, which one is that one? 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:02.080 Whose bag? 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:06.080 Oh good lord, half Mercy American Airlines flight on the 0:17:06.080 --> 0:17:08.680 way to Fairvielle, Arkansas, on Thursday. Well, it was a 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:11.720 six thirty flight lady sitting in one A. I hope 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:15.840 your life gets better, ma'am. This was such an awful 0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:17.840 display of a human being. But I'm trying to give 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:20.720 her grace. It's hard to do so when a woman 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:26.719 cared more about an air mess bag than being considerate 0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:31.040 to every other passenger on a plane. True, and literally 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:35.639 barked four seats away from me not to crush her bag, 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:40.119 and I had to bark back, ma'am. Pipe down. Nobody 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:43.000 is going to touch that bag. I assure you. Put 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:44.240 a little base in the voice. 0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:46.359 Next thing I know, the flight attendant's coming back to 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:48.120 retrieve the bag. Right. 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:50.879 This is what we're talking about here with people. What 0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:54.000 I gave that woman was what she wanted, didn't I 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:58.160 not a problem, ma'am. Nobody is going to touch your bag. 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:01.840 And then she died away. She was a puppy the 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:03.680 rest of the time, and she was scared to look 0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:04.840 up and all these things. 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:06.879 She came over and said, I moved my bag, so 0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:08.560 you can put yours there now. But it was like 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:09.520 twenty minutes later. 0:18:09.600 --> 0:18:13.400 Well, that is the same concept I'm saying with this phrase. 0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:16.960 Maybe you're right, you know what you said when you 0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:19.520 sat down and looked at me, you said, it's gotta 0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:23.200 be tough, gotta be tough to be her, to be her. 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:26.399 So it's one way. Again, I don't think it was 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:29.320 meant in that tone, but you can use it how 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:33.640 you like. Apparently regardless, it's still a life changing sentence. 0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:37.080 You might be right, all right, this is one I 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:39.639 think is really going to speak to you. You have 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:44.960 I have had to learn this because I have. I 0:18:45.000 --> 0:18:47.720 was raised to be polite and to not want to offend, 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:53.919 and so sometimes in doing so, you're not fully transparent. 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:57.000 You're not being fully truthful because you're trying to be polite. 0:18:57.600 --> 0:19:01.440 So here is a life changing sentence. This is the last, 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:06.000 and I think probably the best, most actionable life changing sentence. 0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:17.600 It's three words clear is kind? Yeah? 0:19:18.160 --> 0:19:18.720 What is it? 0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:24.120 We're always usually trying to spare people's feelings, right, and 0:19:24.200 --> 0:19:28.680 we oftentimes end up not being straight with them about 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:31.520 either how we feel or even about the job they're 0:19:31.520 --> 0:19:33.720 doing or how they're looking, or whatever it may be. 0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:36.040 I do this with you all the time, and it 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:38.800 absolutely drives me crazy, and it drives you crazy. I 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:43.000 guess I'm so literal in how I communicate because I'm 0:19:43.000 --> 0:19:46.280 trying to be clear and I expect the same level 0:19:46.320 --> 0:19:50.080 of clarity back, and that's not reasonable, I have learned, 0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:57.040 But I think it is a It is the nice 0:19:57.160 --> 0:19:58.160 kind is the word they use. 0:19:58.240 --> 0:19:59.880 It is clear, is kind. 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:02.320 The thing to do is to look someone in the 0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:05.120 eye and be straight with them about whatever it may 0:20:05.160 --> 0:20:07.040 be and leave no ambiguity. 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:10.240 That is the hard thing to do. It is the 0:20:10.320 --> 0:20:13.800 scary thing to do, but it is the right thing 0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:17.040 to do. And I agree with you, And it is 0:20:17.320 --> 0:20:21.920 so fascinating to be with someone who that is one 0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:26.160 of your like that's a huge part of who you are. 0:20:26.640 --> 0:20:28.959 And actually it's hard sometimes to be on the receiving 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:31.320 end of it. But when you know it's true and 0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:36.080 you know it comes from love, it actually it emboldens 0:20:36.119 --> 0:20:38.480 me to feel like if you're coming from the right 0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:43.479 place and you're saying it out of love, it is 0:20:43.520 --> 0:20:45.280 the kind thing to do. But it is the hard 0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:48.720 thing to do. And I've not been conditioned to communicate 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:51.840 like that, and I certainly I don't think had the 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:54.159 confidence to communicate like that, but because I think it 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:57.159 does take it takes confidence to know that you can 0:20:57.200 --> 0:20:59.960 look somebody in the eye and say something really hard 0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:03.359 but something they need to hear clear is kind And 0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:06.480 this comes like breaking up with someone. Oh my god, 0:21:07.240 --> 0:21:09.800 people are like trying. You know, we ghost people, right, 0:21:09.920 --> 0:21:14.000 We break up with people on text because it's hard 0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:17.159 to do the right thing. It's hard to be clear 0:21:17.600 --> 0:21:20.480 when clear is something you know they don't want to hear. 0:21:21.520 --> 0:21:23.600 Just ask yourself, is it what you would want to hear? 0:21:25.400 --> 0:21:27.080 Don't you want people to be clear with you? Yeah, 0:21:27.080 --> 0:21:29.000 that's a good one, but it is kind. It's the 0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:31.159 I don't know where that comes from. I don't know 0:21:31.160 --> 0:21:32.679 if I've always been like that or just so you 0:21:32.720 --> 0:21:34.119