Speaker 1: Welcome everyone to this edition of Amy and TJ. It
Speaker 1: is Saturday, September twenty seventh, and I happened to be
Speaker 1: reading this amazing buzz feed article TJ. And the headline
Speaker 1: was one sentence that can change your life.
Speaker 2: Oh, you fell for the clickbait? You fell for it?
Speaker 1: I did. But then, yes, they were really really good.
Speaker 1: I think there were thirty three of them, and I
Speaker 1: read every one of them, and I was I think
Speaker 1: I was reading them aloud to you, and I think
Speaker 1: I was annoying you kind of like no, yes, And
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, you know what. I'm going
Speaker 1: to stop because I can see you're not in the
Speaker 1: mood for this. But this is going to be a
Speaker 1: great podcast because I yes, because I actually wanted to
Speaker 1: get your take. First of all, do you think one
Speaker 1: sentence like hearing one thought can actually change someone's life?
Speaker 2: Of course again absolutely again changes the life all the time.
Speaker 2: One thought, one statement like you know I do?
Speaker 1: Will you marry me? Yeah?
Speaker 2: They could change everything. You're fired.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yes, those are very practical, actionable. These are more
Speaker 1: thought provoking, but they just get you thinking about all
Speaker 1: the ways that we trip ourselves up. So anyway, I
Speaker 1: picked seven of them that I thought were the best,
Speaker 1: or the ones at least that spoke to me the most.
Speaker 2: What's the title again of the article seven?
Speaker 1: One sentence that can change your lientence that.
Speaker 2: Can change your life?
Speaker 3: So am I going to agree that each of these
Speaker 3: sentences might change my life?
Speaker 1: I'm curious to get your take. We can see how
Speaker 1: we both read or perceive, or just how we react
Speaker 1: to them. But this first one I really liked, and
Speaker 1: I think you will too.
Speaker 2: Where these coming from? Just random?
Speaker 1: Yes, brandom people wrote in and gay and some of
Speaker 1: them had experiences attached to them, but they were really
Speaker 1: cool in thought provoking. Here's the first one. Everyone you
Speaker 1: meet knows something that you don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I certainly agree with that. It's not something we
Speaker 3: keep in mind. I don't think too often we run
Speaker 3: into people, let's just say, even lower on the totem pole,
Speaker 3: we don't give people that we think are beneath us
Speaker 3: in a professional manner, in a socioeconomic manner, or a
Speaker 3: matter of public status.
Speaker 2: You can't.
Speaker 3: You don't have anything to teach me, And we dismiss
Speaker 3: those people too often. Man, I learned stuff from college
Speaker 3: kids I met this weekend. Listening to them. So, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's something we need to keep in mind. Take with you,
Speaker 3: and that should be practiced. You shouldn't have to keep
Speaker 3: that in mind.
Speaker 1: I never thought about this, but how life changing is
Speaker 1: it if instead of being judgmental or dismissive, you're curious
Speaker 1: because you want to learn from somebody, no matter how old,
Speaker 1: how young, whether you think you are more educated and
Speaker 1: there you know, just have nothing to give you in
Speaker 1: terms of intellect. If you actually flip that and always
Speaker 1: considered when someone came up to you, even someone who's
Speaker 1: annoying you, you could put this into practice for all
Speaker 1: sorts of different people you meet that you might maybe
Speaker 1: have a negative initial reaction to. If you just tell yourself,
Speaker 1: I they know something I don't. Everyone you meet knows
Speaker 1: something that you don't. It just puts perspective into place.
Speaker 1: You are not the end all be all, and you
Speaker 1: don't know everything, and we still all have so much
Speaker 1: to learn from one another.
Speaker 3: Even a child can teach you plenting. And now I'm
Speaker 3: just talking about all the new slang on TikTok. I
Speaker 3: mean every kids people have different experiences. I yes, always listen,
Speaker 3: always pay attention, and always appreciate that you are going
Speaker 3: to walk away from somebody better and smarter because of
Speaker 3: something they.
Speaker 1: Gave you if you were open to it. That's the
Speaker 1: big if. All right, So I love that everyone you
Speaker 1: meet knows something that you don't. All right, here's this
Speaker 1: is so me. Oh, I love this. A coworker once
Speaker 1: told me. Nobody on their deathbed says I wish I
Speaker 1: had worked more. Ain't that perspective if you can consider
Speaker 1: that when you're trying to plan your day or figure
Speaker 1: out how you're spending your time. And it's not about
Speaker 1: being lazy or unmotivated or justifying being unemployed because you
Speaker 1: don't feel like it. But this is to the people
Speaker 1: who work their asses off to the point that they
Speaker 1: forget to enjoy their life. And I think so many
Speaker 1: of us fall into this. I can tell you this.
Speaker 1: Before cancer, I proudly and repeatedly bragged about the vacation
Speaker 1: days that I didn't take because I thought that meant
Speaker 1: I was a hard worker and that that should be applauded.
Speaker 1: And it should, But not to the extent in which
Speaker 1: you sacrifice things that you'll never get back.
Speaker 3: Does anyone even now in their current life think man
Speaker 3: whereshd I work more. It doesn't seem like any of ours.
Speaker 3: I mean, obviously we get the point being made on
Speaker 3: the deathbed, the regrets and always it's the thing you're
Speaker 3: always harping on. Nobody ever regrets the things they did.
Speaker 3: They regret the things they didn't do, same kind of
Speaker 3: deathbed idea. But I I don't know. I guess I did.
Speaker 2: It, and we guess.
Speaker 3: Our industry is pretty unique in that way that it
Speaker 3: is as a bad honor that you worked sixteen hours.
Speaker 2: It's insanity, it's it's it's.
Speaker 3: Unhealthy, and that's why your chest feels that way, and
Speaker 3: that's why your marriage is where it is, right, that's
Speaker 3: but yeah, it's at what point do you do that?
Speaker 3: And sometimes people will tell you have to wait till
Speaker 3: you get to a certain place or status in life
Speaker 3: that you.
Speaker 2: Can take a break.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's reasonable, but it's still something to carry around,
Speaker 3: even it's not a hard rule. At whatever age you are,
Speaker 3: that's got to be in the back.
Speaker 2: Of your mind.
Speaker 1: And you don't know what age you get to be.
Speaker 1: No one knows how old we're going to be when
Speaker 1: our health deteriorates, when we aren't able to travel anymore.
Speaker 1: When we have a sudden illness, when there is an accident,
Speaker 1: you just don't know, so you can't just take it
Speaker 1: for granted. Oh I'll do it in ten years. I'll
Speaker 1: do it when I've got this much money, or when
Speaker 1: I'm established here. I always say this too, I've never
Speaker 1: regretted a vacation like, oh I wish I hadn't taken
Speaker 1: that vacation. Maybe I've regretted who I've vacationed with, but
Speaker 1: I certainly am not regretted taking a vacation. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm kidding when I say that, but you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. No, but here once again, I just loved
Speaker 1: this life changing sentence. A coworker once told me, nobody
Speaker 1: on their deathbed says I wish I had worked more.
Speaker 1: All right, I think I think you're going to I
Speaker 1: think you're gonna like this one. You might say, EU,
Speaker 1: but I think you're gonna get it because you've said
Speaker 1: something similar to me as this sentence. When people drive
Speaker 1: like assholes, tell yourself that maybe they just need to
Speaker 1: poop very badly.
Speaker 3: Yes, Uh, in some way, form or fashion, this is
Speaker 3: just a matter of giving people a break. Give everybody
Speaker 3: a little grace because you do not know what they're
Speaker 3: going through. You might not get good service from that waiter,
Speaker 3: and you know what, they might have just found out
Speaker 3: that there that lump actually is cancer.
Speaker 2: Just give everybody a.
Speaker 3: Beat, no matter how mean and nasty of a human
Speaker 3: being they seem to be. We all have bad moments,
Speaker 3: and I bet you anything you can explain away your
Speaker 3: bad moment because what had a bad day, got bad news,
Speaker 3: didn't get enough rest.
Speaker 2: I got it right.
Speaker 3: You can excuse yourself. Well, stop judging everybody else by
Speaker 3: their worst actions and judging yourself your best intentions, and
Speaker 3: give people a freaking break.
Speaker 1: I know, you know. It just reminded me, babe, when
Speaker 1: I when I I just got word the day before
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving that I was going to have to go through
Speaker 1: six rounds of chemo. I was devastated. I had been crying.
Speaker 1: I walk on a train and my friend was trying
Speaker 1: to figure out what train I was on. I had
Speaker 1: accidentally wandered into the no talking or the quiet train,
Speaker 1: and all I was doing I had like once to
Speaker 1: say what train I was on, and this guy yelled
Speaker 1: at me, go shit and started screaming at me. And
Speaker 1: it was the day and I literally lost it, and
Speaker 1: I thought to myself, never underestimate what someone might be
Speaker 1: going through, And that personally happened to me, and I
Speaker 1: do try to remember that. What I also loved about
Speaker 1: this sentence was that it did put humor into it.
Speaker 1: So if you're angry, if you tell yourself that, you'll
Speaker 1: actually start laughing. So not only might you feel compassion,
Speaker 1: but you'll also get the humor of it too. So yes,
Speaker 1: once again, for you, when people drive like assholes, tell
Speaker 1: yourself that maybe they just need to poop very badly.
Speaker 3: Some fun with this before somebody will do. And I'll say,
Speaker 3: you know what, give him a break, he has to
Speaker 3: wear that shirt. Whatever you have to tell yourself.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: Just give people a beat.
Speaker 1: Yep. Even if it means laughing a little, it is.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: And it also it frees you of resentment and anger
Speaker 1: that only eats you up inside. That person doesn't even
Speaker 1: know you're mad, so you're only harming yourself. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: that which kind of leads me to the next life
Speaker 1: changing sentence. How about if you always just ask yourself
Speaker 1: this when you're feeling all those negative feelings, here's the sentence,
Speaker 1: Can you do anything? About it. Does that speak to you?
Speaker 2: Uh, there's a tattoo on my arm and says surrender. Yes,
Speaker 2: that speaks to me.
Speaker 3: I thought surrender was shorter than the sentence you read,
Speaker 3: so that's why I went, it's not really.
Speaker 1: A sentence if it's just one word.
Speaker 2: It's but it was just you see this is what
Speaker 2: I mean. You don't listen.
Speaker 3: You didn't hear me finish my statement here? Oh my good,
Speaker 3: see what I deal with?
Speaker 2: Folks?
Speaker 3: Oh christ on sale. But yes, to that point, it's
Speaker 3: that moment I find that I am upset about something
Speaker 3: that's happening, and as soon as I realize there is
Speaker 3: not a thing in the world I can do about
Speaker 3: what's happening. Now I am the idiot for being upset
Speaker 3: about it. Why put myself through the ect. We're all
Speaker 3: gonna be in the I'm gonna be in the same
Speaker 3: spot no matter whether I'm crying or whether I'm dancing.
Speaker 3: So I'll go dance.
Speaker 1: You know, I have seen you have that recognition in
Speaker 1: that moment where you're like, and I've actually been surprised,
Speaker 1: like wow, you're kind of handling this really well, and
Speaker 1: you're like, what can I do about it? Like I've
Speaker 1: actually heard you say yes a version of this sentence
Speaker 1: many many, many times when things.
Speaker 3: Go wrong, and the only time you usually see me
Speaker 3: upset is when somebody screws my plan up, and then
Speaker 3: I'm mad at myself, like why did I even trust
Speaker 3: this person?
Speaker 2: So I'm said, I screwed up in that moment.
Speaker 3: But no, I understand when you know what flights, flight delays,
Speaker 3: flight can't those things? Oh, how frustrating. Nothing in the
Speaker 3: world I can do. Why am I going to sweat it?
Speaker 1: I feel like when I'm in a cab or an
Speaker 1: uber and I'm stuck in traffic and I know I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be late. That is the most stress. I feel
Speaker 1: so much stress. And then you that is when you
Speaker 1: have to say, ain't nothing I can do about it?
Speaker 1: So yes, can you do anything about it? If you
Speaker 1: can just ask yourself that in the moment where you're
Speaker 1: feeling your blood just boiling, that is going to give
Speaker 1: you peace, because either you can or you can't, And
Speaker 1: then you have to get to the place of peace,
Speaker 1: which is called acceptance or surrender. As TJ's tattoo says,
Speaker 1: I I'm gonna I'm gonna see because I read the
Speaker 1: explanation behind it. I don't know how you're gonna feel
Speaker 1: about this next supposed life changing sentence, but I really
Speaker 1: appreciated it. I think you're gonnah, you're gonna get it.
Speaker 1: All sun and no rain makes a desert.
Speaker 3: I think I've heard something along these lines before. I
Speaker 3: guess it's just a caution. Every tale about you don't
Speaker 3: there's something necessary. There's another side that's necessary, and not
Speaker 3: just this thing that right, we love some sun and
Speaker 3: we seem to not want a rain cloud ever, right,
Speaker 3: don't we want to go through life never see another storm.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna work exactly well. And yes, that's one interpretation.
Speaker 1: Another one that this person wrote in about was we
Speaker 1: all want sunny skies, yes, but we all want to
Speaker 1: be happy, right, to be sunny, to be bright. But
Speaker 1: sometimes you're gonna have to cry. Sometimes the rain is
Speaker 1: gonna have to come. You're going to have to let
Speaker 1: that negativity, that emotion out in order to feel the sun,
Speaker 1: to recognize the sun, to appreciate the sun. You have to, yes,
Speaker 1: see the rain, but you have to let it out.
Speaker 1: So they were even making the point that the rain
Speaker 1: are tears. Do you ever cry? You cry of happiness.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't cry a lot anymore. I used to.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm thinking about that. Yeah, I used to shed
Speaker 3: many many tears. Yeah, I don't cry as much anymore.
Speaker 1: I see you cry when you're moved by other people's kindness,
Speaker 1: joy like generosity. You cry tears of joy and like
Speaker 1: you're moved emotionally, but not because you're sad or angry.
Speaker 1: I don't see that.
Speaker 2: I've always been that guy.
Speaker 3: I'm younger, I'm moved by things, yes, absolutely, and I
Speaker 3: will shed a tear. I did it plenty on television.
Speaker 3: No problem with that about it. Not trying to hide it,
Speaker 3: not a problem.
Speaker 1: I have not cried that much very lately. I am
Speaker 1: a crier. But I did appreciate this that it gives
Speaker 1: you at least you know. We do have to cleanse
Speaker 1: ourselves of and however we do it, but sometimes tears
Speaker 1: are a way out, and for a lot of us
Speaker 1: who do tend to cry, I felt like this this
Speaker 1: was permission and even acceptance that it's part of And
Speaker 1: if you don't, yeah, what do you have left? You
Speaker 1: can't just have sunshine, you have to have the tears.
Speaker 1: You have to have the dark times. So I liked
Speaker 1: that a lot. All right, when we come back the
Speaker 1: last two life changing sentences, one is fowards, one is
Speaker 1: three words, and I think they are two of the
Speaker 1: most powerful sentences that I heard on this entire list.
Speaker 1: So stay tuned and welcome back to Amy and TJ,
Speaker 1: where we are discussing seven life changing sentences. This was
Speaker 1: a BuzzFeed article I saw. There were I think as
Speaker 1: many as thirty three thirty four different sentences, but these
Speaker 1: were my seven favorite. And this next one, well, the
Speaker 1: next two are very short and very simple, but pack
Speaker 1: a big punch. This one. The person who put this
Speaker 1: in or sent this in said that this changed his
Speaker 1: relationship in like completely, in every way. He finally learned
Speaker 1: this sentence and meant it when he said it, and
Speaker 1: he said the response was life changing. You might be right.
Speaker 1: Instead of challenging or arguing or defending or all of
Speaker 1: the natural responses when someone says something that you don't
Speaker 1: like or that you disagree with, he said, I've just
Speaker 1: learned that you might be right. And how it changes
Speaker 1: a conversation, it changes a room, and it changes your life.
Speaker 1: It changes your perspective.
Speaker 3: Okay, I haven't been using this in the right way.
Speaker 3: I guess what you're talking about, and that is the
Speaker 3: proper way to use such a thing. I often use
Speaker 3: it to be dismissive because I don't want.
Speaker 2: To talk about it.
Speaker 1: You say it sarcastically.
Speaker 3: I when someone especially wants to insult me or coming
Speaker 3: at me in some personal way, a challenge like that,
Speaker 3: my be rain. What do you say after you insult
Speaker 3: someone and they go, maybe you're right?
Speaker 2: That kind of.
Speaker 1: Shuts This wasn't meant to be used in that fashion.
Speaker 1: This person wrote in and said and actually said, when
Speaker 1: you really open your mind to that possibility, it a
Speaker 1: gives that other person piece, but it also gives you
Speaker 1: that same idea that maybe you still have something to learn.
Speaker 3: To each his and her own. And if that's the
Speaker 3: way you want to use it to change your life,
Speaker 3: I'm giving you another way to use it to change
Speaker 3: your life. When somebody is coming at you like as
Speaker 3: passionate as all get out, mad as hell, calling you
Speaker 3: whatever kind of name, like the woman on.
Speaker 2: The plane, which one is that one?
Speaker 1: Whose bag?
Speaker 3: Oh good lord, half Mercy American Airlines flight on the
Speaker 3: way to Fairvielle, Arkansas, on Thursday. Well, it was a
Speaker 3: six thirty flight lady sitting in one A. I hope
Speaker 3: your life gets better, ma'am. This was such an awful
Speaker 3: display of a human being. But I'm trying to give
Speaker 3: her grace. It's hard to do so when a woman
Speaker 3: cared more about an air mess bag than being considerate
Speaker 3: to every other passenger on a plane. True, and literally
Speaker 3: barked four seats away from me not to crush her bag,
Speaker 3: and I had to bark back, ma'am. Pipe down. Nobody
Speaker 3: is going to touch that bag. I assure you. Put
Speaker 3: a little base in the voice.
Speaker 2: Next thing I know, the flight attendant's coming back to
Speaker 2: retrieve the bag. Right.
Speaker 3: This is what we're talking about here with people. What
Speaker 3: I gave that woman was what she wanted, didn't I
Speaker 3: not a problem, ma'am. Nobody is going to touch your bag.
Speaker 3: And then she died away. She was a puppy the
Speaker 3: rest of the time, and she was scared to look
Speaker 3: up and all these things.
Speaker 1: She came over and said, I moved my bag, so
Speaker 1: you can put yours there now. But it was like
Speaker 1: twenty minutes later.
Speaker 2: Well, that is the same concept I'm saying with this phrase.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're right, you know what you said when you
Speaker 1: sat down and looked at me, you said, it's gotta
Speaker 1: be tough, gotta be tough to be her, to be her.
Speaker 1: So it's one way. Again, I don't think it was
Speaker 1: meant in that tone, but you can use it how
Speaker 1: you like. Apparently regardless, it's still a life changing sentence.
Speaker 1: You might be right, all right, this is one I
Speaker 1: think is really going to speak to you. You have
Speaker 1: I have had to learn this because I have. I
Speaker 1: was raised to be polite and to not want to offend,
Speaker 1: and so sometimes in doing so, you're not fully transparent.
Speaker 1: You're not being fully truthful because you're trying to be polite.
Speaker 1: So here is a life changing sentence. This is the last,
Speaker 1: and I think probably the best, most actionable life changing sentence.
Speaker 1: It's three words clear is kind? Yeah?
Speaker 2: What is it?
Speaker 3: We're always usually trying to spare people's feelings, right, and
Speaker 3: we oftentimes end up not being straight with them about
Speaker 3: either how we feel or even about the job they're
Speaker 3: doing or how they're looking, or whatever it may be.
Speaker 3: I do this with you all the time, and it
Speaker 3: absolutely drives me crazy, and it drives you crazy. I
Speaker 3: guess I'm so literal in how I communicate because I'm
Speaker 3: trying to be clear and I expect the same level
Speaker 3: of clarity back, and that's not reasonable, I have learned,
Speaker 3: But I think it is a It is the nice
Speaker 3: kind is the word they use.
Speaker 1: It is clear, is kind.
Speaker 3: The thing to do is to look someone in the
Speaker 3: eye and be straight with them about whatever it may
Speaker 3: be and leave no ambiguity.
Speaker 1: That is the hard thing to do. It is the
Speaker 1: scary thing to do, but it is the right thing
Speaker 1: to do. And I agree with you, And it is
Speaker 1: so fascinating to be with someone who that is one
Speaker 1: of your like that's a huge part of who you are.
Speaker 1: And actually it's hard sometimes to be on the receiving
Speaker 1: end of it. But when you know it's true and
Speaker 1: you know it comes from love, it actually it emboldens
Speaker 1: me to feel like if you're coming from the right
Speaker 1: place and you're saying it out of love, it is
Speaker 1: the kind thing to do. But it is the hard
Speaker 1: thing to do. And I've not been conditioned to communicate
Speaker 1: like that, and I certainly I don't think had the
Speaker 1: confidence to communicate like that, but because I think it
Speaker 1: does take it takes confidence to know that you can
Speaker 1: look somebody in the eye and say something really hard
Speaker 1: but something they need to hear clear is kind And
Speaker 1: this comes like breaking up with someone. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: people are like trying. You know, we ghost people, right,
Speaker 1: We break up with people on text because it's hard
Speaker 1: to do the right thing. It's hard to be clear
Speaker 1: when clear is something you know they don't want to hear.
Speaker 3: Just ask yourself, is it what you would want to hear?
Speaker 3: Don't you want people to be clear with you? Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's a good one, but it is kind. It's the
Speaker 3: I don't know where that comes from. I don't know
Speaker 3: if I've always been like that or just so you
Speaker 3: get to a certain point in a certain age. We
Speaker 3: just adults. We don't have time to mess around. We
Speaker 3: don't have time to wonder. We just when have a
Speaker 3: lot of time left on this earth. You could relatively say, so.
Speaker 1: It's just we waste so many people's time making people
Speaker 1: think something's going to happen that we know isn't. It's
Speaker 1: it's crazy. So anyway, for me, that really struck home.
Speaker 1: I thought of you immediately, TJ, and then I just thought, wow,
Speaker 1: that might be the most life changing sentence of them all.
Speaker 1: So anyway, we hope you enjoyed and again total credit
Speaker 1: to BuzzFeed for putting this list together, but I just
Speaker 1: thought it was so cool. I wanted to share with
Speaker 1: all of you, and we want to thank you for
Speaker 1: listening to us. I'm ay Me Roboch alongside TJ. Holmes.
Speaker 1: We'll talk to you soon.