1 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:08,995 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:29,475 Speaker 1: What a freaking candy ass lying, hypocritical, self contradicting little 3 00:00:29,715 --> 00:00:36,435 Speaker 1: paranoid snowflake. Elon Musk is my commitment to free speech, 4 00:00:37,155 --> 00:00:41,115 Speaker 1: the new stalin of Twitter wrote on November six, extends 5 00:00:41,155 --> 00:00:44,795 Speaker 1: to not banning the account following my plane, even though 6 00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:49,875 Speaker 1: that is a direct personal safety risk. Then he banned 7 00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:53,315 Speaker 1: the account following his plane. Must then banned the kid 8 00:00:53,515 --> 00:00:56,915 Speaker 1: Jack Sweeney and his account at elon Jet. And he 9 00:00:57,035 --> 00:00:59,235 Speaker 1: is a kid, He's a teenager, he's a college freshman, 10 00:00:59,515 --> 00:01:02,915 Speaker 1: the account he had just boasted about not banning. He 11 00:01:02,995 --> 00:01:05,795 Speaker 1: did this after first trying to bribe but Sweeney, and 12 00:01:05,875 --> 00:01:08,195 Speaker 1: after the kid had had the audacity to propose a 13 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:11,875 Speaker 1: compromise in which the information was delayed in some way. 14 00:01:12,235 --> 00:01:16,675 Speaker 1: Then Wednesday night, Musk put out some story about some 15 00:01:16,795 --> 00:01:20,555 Speaker 1: guy in a car following another car that supposedly was 16 00:01:20,555 --> 00:01:24,195 Speaker 1: connected to his Musk's family. Then the Kai got on 17 00:01:24,355 --> 00:01:29,275 Speaker 1: top of Musk's family these cars hood and Musk stated 18 00:01:29,435 --> 00:01:33,155 Speaker 1: as if fact that it all happened, if it happened 19 00:01:33,435 --> 00:01:38,555 Speaker 1: only because of information gleaned from the at elon jet account. 20 00:01:38,635 --> 00:01:42,355 Speaker 1: And he promised legal action is being taken against Sweeney 21 00:01:42,395 --> 00:01:48,315 Speaker 1: and organizations who supported harm to my family. Musk's hyperbolic 22 00:01:48,355 --> 00:01:51,195 Speaker 1: panic about this has since grown from my commitment to 23 00:01:51,235 --> 00:01:54,035 Speaker 1: free speech extends to not banning the account following my 24 00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:57,835 Speaker 1: plane to quote, they posted my exact real time location 25 00:01:58,075 --> 00:02:05,675 Speaker 1: basically assassination coordinates unquote, as the icka will. Philip Bump 26 00:02:05,675 --> 00:02:09,475 Speaker 1: of The Washington Post writes, identifying the location of an 27 00:02:09,515 --> 00:02:15,635 Speaker 1: airplane provides assassination coordinates to like the operator of a 28 00:02:15,755 --> 00:02:20,555 Speaker 1: Patriot missile battery. I give Phil's account to like Saturday 29 00:02:20,555 --> 00:02:23,715 Speaker 1: at lunchtime. And by the way, this I was on 30 00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:27,995 Speaker 1: that plane, Muskie and bleat. This contradicts Musk's earlier claim 31 00:02:28,035 --> 00:02:30,915 Speaker 1: that he wasn't on that plane tracked by Sweeney's account. 32 00:02:32,635 --> 00:02:37,075 Speaker 1: On Wednesday, mush had also promised any account doxing real 33 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:41,195 Speaker 1: time location info of anyone will be suspended, and then 34 00:02:41,355 --> 00:02:45,875 Speaker 1: he tweeted video reportedly of the driver who purportedly was 35 00:02:45,995 --> 00:02:49,955 Speaker 1: driving near the Musk family car. It panned down to 36 00:02:50,035 --> 00:02:53,195 Speaker 1: the license plate of the car and it asked Musk 37 00:02:53,515 --> 00:02:58,275 Speaker 1: asked everybody on Twitter, quote anybody recognized this person or car, 38 00:02:59,115 --> 00:03:03,075 Speaker 1: disseminating the license plate and asking for an idea of 39 00:03:03,075 --> 00:03:05,595 Speaker 1: the car, or the license, flight or the person. That 40 00:03:05,675 --> 00:03:09,915 Speaker 1: is the legal definition of doxing. And interestingly, there is, 41 00:03:09,955 --> 00:03:13,395 Speaker 1: as of this recording, no criminal case known nor complaint 42 00:03:13,475 --> 00:03:17,115 Speaker 1: filed in Los Angeles where Musk claims this took place, 43 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,595 Speaker 1: nor in fact, any evidence that it did take place. 44 00:03:21,355 --> 00:03:25,675 Speaker 1: Then Jack Sweeney opened another tracking account at elon jet 45 00:03:25,795 --> 00:03:30,155 Speaker 1: at Mastodon Masterdon, one of the rivals for Twitter. And remember, 46 00:03:30,195 --> 00:03:34,275 Speaker 1: all the flight information is publicly available. It's completely legal, 47 00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:38,995 Speaker 1: promulgated by hundreds of websites and social media accounts. The 48 00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:42,795 Speaker 1: info has been used to track everybody from Russian oligarchs 49 00:03:42,835 --> 00:03:48,595 Speaker 1: to baseball free agents. At this point, last night things 50 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:53,195 Speaker 1: escalated and Elon Musk suddenly did his Thelma and Louise 51 00:03:53,315 --> 00:03:58,035 Speaker 1: bit into the Grand Canyon of Twitter. Other Twitter users, 52 00:03:58,075 --> 00:04:02,315 Speaker 1: including prominent liberals like the independent gad Fly journalist Aaron Rupar, 53 00:04:02,795 --> 00:04:06,675 Speaker 1: reported on at elon jet at Mastodon linked to it, 54 00:04:07,035 --> 00:04:13,115 Speaker 1: and the purge began. Rupar was permanently suspended without ever 55 00:04:13,235 --> 00:04:17,595 Speaker 1: being notified why by Twitter. Drew Harwell the Washington Post 56 00:04:17,635 --> 00:04:21,635 Speaker 1: then wrote, Twitter just suspended a competitor's account at joined 57 00:04:21,715 --> 00:04:25,155 Speaker 1: Mastodon because it posted a link to its own websites 58 00:04:25,275 --> 00:04:29,715 Speaker 1: version of at elon Jet public legally acquired data that 59 00:04:29,795 --> 00:04:33,995 Speaker 1: Twitter decided two days ago was against the rules. Loving 60 00:04:34,115 --> 00:04:39,915 Speaker 1: the free speech, he added, Harwell attached screenshots. Harwell, it 61 00:04:39,955 --> 00:04:43,075 Speaker 1: turned out, had emailed Musk on Tuesday about why Musk 62 00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:45,675 Speaker 1: had reinstated a series of prominent q and on accounts. 63 00:04:45,915 --> 00:04:50,035 Speaker 1: Musk had replied, simply, L. O. L. Harwell is not 64 00:04:50,235 --> 00:04:53,035 Speaker 1: an independent. He is of the Washington Post. And you 65 00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:56,915 Speaker 1: would think Musk would empathize with the Washington Post since 66 00:04:56,955 --> 00:05:00,035 Speaker 1: it is owned by another mega rich guy named Jeff Bezos, 67 00:05:00,195 --> 00:05:03,435 Speaker 1: and they must have a club or a secret handshake 68 00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:07,435 Speaker 1: or a tree house or something. Harwell was then permanently 69 00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:11,635 Speaker 1: banned without notification or explanation. We would need a forensic 70 00:05:11,755 --> 00:05:15,635 Speaker 1: pathologist to get the sequence exactly right. But Musk apparently 71 00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:19,395 Speaker 1: then banned CNN reporter Donnie O'Sullivan, who had interviewed the 72 00:05:19,435 --> 00:05:24,355 Speaker 1: elon Jet at Mastodon guy Sweeney and his grandmother without 73 00:05:24,395 --> 00:05:27,915 Speaker 1: being notified or being told why again, and either right 74 00:05:27,955 --> 00:05:30,835 Speaker 1: before Donnie got hit or right after it. Musk also 75 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,115 Speaker 1: banned Ryan Mack, who was the tech reporter at the 76 00:05:33,155 --> 00:05:36,435 Speaker 1: New York Times. Neither The Times nor Ryan have received 77 00:05:36,435 --> 00:05:40,115 Speaker 1: any explanation about why this occurred, said a spokesman for 78 00:05:40,155 --> 00:05:47,235 Speaker 1: The Gray Lady. This is when I got whacked. I'd 79 00:05:47,275 --> 00:05:50,035 Speaker 1: love to say I was that guy in the Godfather 80 00:05:50,155 --> 00:05:55,315 Speaker 1: movie and the baptism scene, Philip Talia, who Michael Corleone, 81 00:05:55,395 --> 00:05:58,875 Speaker 1: Musk's henchman machine gunned while he was in bed with 82 00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:01,835 Speaker 1: the lady with not so many clothes on. But frankly, 83 00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:04,155 Speaker 1: I was just sitting here, icing my torn rotator cup 84 00:06:04,195 --> 00:06:07,115 Speaker 1: and reading Twitter and getting more and more piste off, 85 00:06:08,155 --> 00:06:10,355 Speaker 1: and I suggested on Twitter, we should do a mass 86 00:06:10,435 --> 00:06:13,995 Speaker 1: protest requiring only a few quick steps. I tweeted, So 87 00:06:14,115 --> 00:06:17,835 Speaker 1: here's a plan. A everybody r t the screenshot that 88 00:06:17,875 --> 00:06:20,235 Speaker 1: apparently got the account of Drew Harwell of the Washington 89 00:06:20,275 --> 00:06:24,675 Speaker 1: Post suspended b and recreate the tweet word for word 90 00:06:24,755 --> 00:06:28,315 Speaker 1: with the link see and linked to Aaron Rupar's piece 91 00:06:28,315 --> 00:06:32,395 Speaker 1: that got him permanently suspended. I knew what I was 92 00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:36,075 Speaker 1: doing here. Elon Musk has already proved himself on Twitter 93 00:06:36,195 --> 00:06:38,795 Speaker 1: and everywhere else he's ever worked, including Tesla and the 94 00:06:38,795 --> 00:06:40,875 Speaker 1: rest of these crazy ideas like the invention of the 95 00:06:40,915 --> 00:06:44,555 Speaker 1: subway and the tunnel. He has already proved himself, not 96 00:06:45,035 --> 00:06:50,355 Speaker 1: much of a businessman, certainly nothing resembling a free speech absolutist, 97 00:06:50,395 --> 00:06:53,715 Speaker 1: and not very good with truth or even explaining why 98 00:06:53,755 --> 00:06:58,555 Speaker 1: he changed his mind if he has one. I expected 99 00:06:58,595 --> 00:07:00,995 Speaker 1: a suspension or a band for doing this, but at 100 00:07:00,995 --> 00:07:03,595 Speaker 1: this point I was in for a surprise. When I 101 00:07:03,635 --> 00:07:06,995 Speaker 1: went to post that link mastered on dot social slash 102 00:07:07,195 --> 00:07:11,555 Speaker 1: at elon jet, a notice automatically came up on Twitter, 103 00:07:11,635 --> 00:07:15,195 Speaker 1: reading tweet not sent. Your tweet couldn't be sent because 104 00:07:15,275 --> 00:07:19,515 Speaker 1: this link has been identified by Twitter or our partners 105 00:07:20,155 --> 00:07:24,435 Speaker 1: as being potentially harmful. So I broke the link into words, 106 00:07:24,475 --> 00:07:26,835 Speaker 1: and I tweeted it anyway, and I added, you literally 107 00:07:26,915 --> 00:07:30,155 Speaker 1: can't tweet the masted on link, which is then I 108 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:34,475 Speaker 1: broken into words. My protest thread continued five and whoever 109 00:07:34,595 --> 00:07:37,715 Speaker 1: is still left here to address the suspensions of Donnio 110 00:07:37,795 --> 00:07:41,475 Speaker 1: Settleman of CNN and Ryan mack RT what happened to them? 111 00:07:41,835 --> 00:07:45,435 Speaker 1: See you on the other side, friends, And then I 112 00:07:46,115 --> 00:07:48,915 Speaker 1: posted a little video of the end of Doctor Strange 113 00:07:48,955 --> 00:07:53,035 Speaker 1: Love where the cowboy rides the atomic bomb straight down 114 00:07:53,115 --> 00:07:56,835 Speaker 1: to the target. Within minutes, my account was suspended. Then 115 00:07:57,035 --> 00:07:59,275 Speaker 1: it popped back into service briefly, and I replied to 116 00:07:59,315 --> 00:08:03,075 Speaker 1: some tweets and retweeted some others. Then that stopped. Then 117 00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:07,435 Speaker 1: the notice changed to your account is permanently suspended. After 118 00:08:07,475 --> 00:08:11,315 Speaker 1: a careful review, we determined your account broke the Twitter rules. 119 00:08:11,835 --> 00:08:15,435 Speaker 1: Your account is permanently in read only mode, which means 120 00:08:15,835 --> 00:08:21,275 Speaker 1: you can't tweet, retweet, or like content. Incidentally, they're wrong 121 00:08:21,315 --> 00:08:24,435 Speaker 1: about that. I just checked again. Yes I'm a Twitter ghost, 122 00:08:24,435 --> 00:08:27,835 Speaker 1: but I can still retweet and like and read the 123 00:08:27,915 --> 00:08:31,795 Speaker 1: latest ad for a sequined Bolivian throwing dagger, available now 124 00:08:31,835 --> 00:08:34,955 Speaker 1: for just nineteen dollars or three for twenty two dollars. 125 00:08:37,235 --> 00:08:41,435 Speaker 1: Within an hour, the rest of Don musk Leone's targets 126 00:08:41,475 --> 00:08:44,395 Speaker 1: were gushing blood all over the nice clean sheets of 127 00:08:44,435 --> 00:08:48,795 Speaker 1: the Twitter Morgue the Twitter account of the Mastedon site, Gone, 128 00:08:49,435 --> 00:08:53,755 Speaker 1: Matt Binder from Mashable, Gone, Michael Lee from The Intercept, 129 00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:59,035 Speaker 1: Gone Tony Webster, another gadfly, Gone Steve Herman from the 130 00:08:59,115 --> 00:09:03,475 Speaker 1: Voice of America. And congratulations Elmo the Voice of America. 131 00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:06,155 Speaker 1: The Voice of America has now been banned by you 132 00:09:07,075 --> 00:09:11,835 Speaker 1: and the Kremlin. A little after nine Eastern Elon Musk 133 00:09:11,875 --> 00:09:15,155 Speaker 1: tweeted about all this, criticize me all day long, He's 134 00:09:15,195 --> 00:09:18,515 Speaker 1: totally fine, but docksing my real time location and endangering 135 00:09:18,515 --> 00:09:23,315 Speaker 1: my family is not. I retweeted that from my dog's account, 136 00:09:23,315 --> 00:09:26,515 Speaker 1: adding none of us docks to you, snowflake, which is 137 00:09:26,555 --> 00:09:31,635 Speaker 1: exactly literally true, and it's true for victim zero here 138 00:09:31,675 --> 00:09:34,395 Speaker 1: as well Jack Sweeney of the elon Jet account, and 139 00:09:34,395 --> 00:09:38,235 Speaker 1: I also sent Apartheid Clyde back a copy of his 140 00:09:38,275 --> 00:09:40,755 Speaker 1: tweet about how his commitment to free speech extending to 141 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:44,395 Speaker 1: not banning Sweeney's account, a commitment that will last a 142 00:09:44,515 --> 00:09:50,915 Speaker 1: lunchtime happily. Even people who would be dictators, whether of 143 00:09:50,915 --> 00:09:55,075 Speaker 1: a country, an industry, or a social media website, can 144 00:09:55,115 --> 00:09:58,755 Speaker 1: never actually shut down all the critics, nor especially all 145 00:09:58,835 --> 00:10:03,115 Speaker 1: the leakers. Richard Nixon learned this, so did Trump, and 146 00:10:03,195 --> 00:10:08,075 Speaker 1: so now as Musk. The account bands were labeled direction 147 00:10:08,235 --> 00:10:12,035 Speaker 1: of Ella in Twitter's internal systems, reported The Washington Post 148 00:10:12,155 --> 00:10:15,515 Speaker 1: last night. According to two former employees in contact with 149 00:10:15,595 --> 00:10:20,715 Speaker 1: Twitter's staff, you've got another leak, Eong and no. Ella 150 00:10:21,315 --> 00:10:23,995 Speaker 1: is not what Ellen calls himself whenever he goes to 151 00:10:24,155 --> 00:10:27,755 Speaker 1: his happy place. To again quote the Post, she is 152 00:10:28,155 --> 00:10:32,355 Speaker 1: Ella Irwin, the company's head of trust and safety, who 153 00:10:32,395 --> 00:10:35,555 Speaker 1: has carried out many of Musk's orders since he purchased 154 00:10:35,555 --> 00:10:38,475 Speaker 1: the company in late October and began up ending its 155 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,715 Speaker 1: rules in the name of what he called quote free 156 00:10:41,755 --> 00:10:46,715 Speaker 1: speech unquote Bravo Washington Post. So this Ella is the 157 00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:51,955 Speaker 1: Chris Lift of Twitter. Ella Irwin, the always useful LinkedIn 158 00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:55,275 Speaker 1: advises us has a twenty year career in things like 159 00:10:55,395 --> 00:11:00,475 Speaker 1: marketplace abuse, consumer trust, global trust and policy that places 160 00:11:00,515 --> 00:11:04,035 Speaker 1: like Amazon and Google and e Harmony at wait e 161 00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:08,075 Speaker 1: harm Any. Well, she's flushed all that in terms of 162 00:11:08,075 --> 00:11:11,595 Speaker 1: a career down the drain happily. Before that, Ella was 163 00:11:11,635 --> 00:11:15,915 Speaker 1: a call center operations manager at Great Western Bank in Northridge, California, 164 00:11:15,955 --> 00:11:20,715 Speaker 1: and I understand they are hiring again. Ella. Ella Irwin 165 00:11:20,795 --> 00:11:23,555 Speaker 1: has not tweeted on her own since December ninth. Her 166 00:11:23,555 --> 00:11:27,555 Speaker 1: account is Ella g Irwin. She did issue a brief 167 00:11:27,595 --> 00:11:30,835 Speaker 1: statement to the website The Verge quote without commenting on 168 00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:33,875 Speaker 1: any specific accounts. I can confirm that we will suspend 169 00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:37,795 Speaker 1: any accounts that violate our privacy policies and put other 170 00:11:37,955 --> 00:11:42,515 Speaker 1: users at risk on quote now. Not referring to specific 171 00:11:42,555 --> 00:11:45,875 Speaker 1: accounts was prudent because claiming that Donnie O'Sullivan or Aaron 172 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:49,955 Speaker 1: Rupar or me or the voice of America quote put 173 00:11:50,035 --> 00:11:55,675 Speaker 1: other users at risk is slander and to it legally actionable. 174 00:11:56,715 --> 00:11:59,755 Speaker 1: Oh and thanks, by the way to the media magazine Variety. 175 00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:07,235 Speaker 1: Their headline of this story reads reads Twitter suspends accounts 176 00:12:07,315 --> 00:12:12,195 Speaker 1: of Keith Ullerman, Aaron Rufar and more journalists who cover 177 00:12:12,275 --> 00:12:15,315 Speaker 1: Elon Musk. I would be embarrassed at top billing in 178 00:12:15,355 --> 00:12:17,555 Speaker 1: this considering I was just in the background here. But 179 00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:23,955 Speaker 1: you know, Ego as ego. Seriously, this kind of purge was, 180 00:12:24,155 --> 00:12:27,115 Speaker 1: of course inevitable. It is hard to believe Twitter could 181 00:12:27,155 --> 00:12:29,355 Speaker 1: have gone downhill from where it was six weeks or 182 00:12:29,395 --> 00:12:32,155 Speaker 1: six months or six years ago, but it has plummeted 183 00:12:32,475 --> 00:12:37,435 Speaker 1: like a safe in a road Runner cartoon. Racism, misogyny, threats, 184 00:12:37,515 --> 00:12:43,395 Speaker 1: inducements to violence, anti lgbt Q, scumbaggery, and actual doxing 185 00:12:43,435 --> 00:12:47,355 Speaker 1: have exploded on Twitter, and ads are everywhere they used 186 00:12:47,395 --> 00:12:51,395 Speaker 1: to be for cars and computers and travel. And now 187 00:12:51,475 --> 00:12:57,995 Speaker 1: therefore this sequined throwing daggers. We seriously at this podcast. 188 00:12:58,075 --> 00:13:00,955 Speaker 1: We were going to buy a brief campaign on Twitter 189 00:13:01,195 --> 00:13:03,595 Speaker 1: to reach likely listeners who were not following me there 190 00:13:03,595 --> 00:13:05,955 Speaker 1: for whatever reason, looked at the lay of the land 191 00:13:05,995 --> 00:13:09,075 Speaker 1: on Twitter, and we canceled the bye. The bye was 192 00:13:09,235 --> 00:13:16,955 Speaker 1: exactly five hundred dollars. American Twitter is not worth five 193 00:13:17,195 --> 00:13:24,275 Speaker 1: hundred dollars anymore. The big news organizations who are actually 194 00:13:24,275 --> 00:13:27,035 Speaker 1: the backbone of news Twitter aren't happy. And what else 195 00:13:27,155 --> 00:13:30,515 Speaker 1: is there on Twitter? There's a Korean boy band Twitter, 196 00:13:30,915 --> 00:13:35,515 Speaker 1: there's went Drill Twitter, and there's news Twitter. Quote. Twitter's 197 00:13:35,595 --> 00:13:39,315 Speaker 1: increasing instability and volatility should be of incredible concern for 198 00:13:39,355 --> 00:13:42,195 Speaker 1: everyone who uses Twitter, said a CNN spokesperson after the 199 00:13:42,195 --> 00:13:45,715 Speaker 1: suspension of Donny O'Sullivan. CNN says it has asked Twitter 200 00:13:45,755 --> 00:13:49,435 Speaker 1: for an explanation and would quote reevaluate our relationship based 201 00:13:49,435 --> 00:13:54,355 Speaker 1: on that response flatly. Barring an immediate reversal of this 202 00:13:54,515 --> 00:13:57,475 Speaker 1: by Muskie and the appointment of some grown up to 203 00:13:57,555 --> 00:14:00,395 Speaker 1: run the place in his stead, any news organization that 204 00:14:00,435 --> 00:14:03,915 Speaker 1: remains on Twitter or lets its journalists continue to tweet 205 00:14:04,075 --> 00:14:09,235 Speaker 1: is taking its own reputation in its hands. Now, it 206 00:14:09,235 --> 00:14:12,795 Speaker 1: would be cathartic to go on a full rant against Musk, 207 00:14:13,075 --> 00:14:16,035 Speaker 1: but what exactly would be the point of that? Only 208 00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:18,555 Speaker 1: he and the right wing vermin that he let back 209 00:14:18,635 --> 00:14:22,195 Speaker 1: onto the website and the Republicans he endorsed after claiming 210 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:25,035 Speaker 1: he was politically neutral and that his attempt to memory 211 00:14:25,075 --> 00:14:27,875 Speaker 1: hold January six is some sort of false flag or 212 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:32,315 Speaker 1: big tech censorship moment, either coincidentally with or in coordination 213 00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:36,515 Speaker 1: with Trump. Only they actually buy that all this was 214 00:14:36,595 --> 00:14:40,595 Speaker 1: some sort of free speech triumph. Only they believe he 215 00:14:40,675 --> 00:14:44,115 Speaker 1: is acting responsibly or consistently, or even just as an adult. 216 00:14:44,955 --> 00:14:48,755 Speaker 1: He's just another moneyed knitwit, although he seems to have 217 00:14:48,795 --> 00:14:51,675 Speaker 1: dedicated himself to burning as much of that money on 218 00:14:51,755 --> 00:14:54,075 Speaker 1: fire as quickly as he can, in a way that 219 00:14:54,195 --> 00:14:57,475 Speaker 1: might make even Kanye West say dude, hey, hold on 220 00:14:57,515 --> 00:15:02,355 Speaker 1: a moment. As for the washed up fascists, Musk resuscitated 221 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:05,835 Speaker 1: like Glenn Greenwald and Tom can't somebody find me a 222 00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:08,395 Speaker 1: shirt that fits me so my nipples don't poke through it? 223 00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:12,195 Speaker 1: Fitting celebrating the bands. A month ago, they were denying 224 00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:14,595 Speaker 1: Twitter had any right to ban anybody for any reason 225 00:15:14,635 --> 00:15:17,795 Speaker 1: at all. They were the people who hallucinated that there 226 00:15:17,835 --> 00:15:19,595 Speaker 1: was one set of rules for right wing Twitter and 227 00:15:19,595 --> 00:15:21,675 Speaker 1: one set of rules for left wing Twitter. They are 228 00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:24,035 Speaker 1: now celebrating the fact that there now really is one 229 00:15:24,035 --> 00:15:26,155 Speaker 1: set of rules for right wing Twitter and one set 230 00:15:26,155 --> 00:15:29,595 Speaker 1: of rules for left wing Twitter. They should remember that 231 00:15:29,635 --> 00:15:33,195 Speaker 1: with the consistency this Musk wife has shown recently. Next 232 00:15:33,235 --> 00:15:37,635 Speaker 1: week we will all be back and they will all 233 00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:40,955 Speaker 1: be suspended. But I did want to point one thing 234 00:15:40,995 --> 00:15:44,275 Speaker 1: out here in conclusion. The bottom line here is this 235 00:15:44,995 --> 00:15:49,875 Speaker 1: Elon Musk just isn't very bright. I realized that the 236 00:15:49,955 --> 00:15:52,795 Speaker 1: fascists he's been pandering too are not very bright either. 237 00:15:52,875 --> 00:15:57,275 Speaker 1: But still, if on April you tweet, as Musk did, 238 00:15:57,875 --> 00:16:00,915 Speaker 1: I hope that even my worst critics remain on Twitter, 239 00:16:01,035 --> 00:16:05,035 Speaker 1: because that is what free speech means. And not eight 240 00:16:05,075 --> 00:16:08,755 Speaker 1: months later you fabricate a flimsy excuse to ban your 241 00:16:08,795 --> 00:16:13,115 Speaker 1: critics and your competitors. You have to have somebody around 242 00:16:13,155 --> 00:16:15,435 Speaker 1: you who was willing to remind you that this is 243 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:19,995 Speaker 1: not mission impossible here, your old tweets don't automatically self 244 00:16:20,075 --> 00:16:26,755 Speaker 1: destruct in ten seconds. Hell. On November, No this November, 245 00:16:27,835 --> 00:16:31,435 Speaker 1: Elon Musk wrote, as he is obvious to all but 246 00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:34,755 Speaker 1: the media, there is not one permanent ban on even 247 00:16:34,795 --> 00:16:40,395 Speaker 1: the most far left account Well, I don't know about that. 248 00:16:41,155 --> 00:16:45,515 Speaker 1: I'd ask those most far left account holders, but we 249 00:16:45,595 --> 00:17:03,755 Speaker 1: all got banned last night. Still ahead, Okay, quite seriously, 250 00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:06,475 Speaker 1: I did tear my rotator cuff quite a while ago, 251 00:17:06,675 --> 00:17:09,435 Speaker 1: which is why Thursday's Countdown was an encore edition about 252 00:17:09,435 --> 00:17:13,755 Speaker 1: my late dog Mishue and my dog Stevie. The whole tear. 253 00:17:13,835 --> 00:17:16,075 Speaker 1: Things actually going great, but we had to move to 254 00:17:16,115 --> 00:17:18,395 Speaker 1: more aggressive rehab on Wednesday, and believe it or not, 255 00:17:18,435 --> 00:17:21,955 Speaker 1: my typing hand ended up going numb. Now it's just 256 00:17:22,155 --> 00:17:26,035 Speaker 1: sore and suspended. I don't want to act like a 257 00:17:26,075 --> 00:17:28,595 Speaker 1: martyr here, but who am I kidding? I always want 258 00:17:28,595 --> 00:17:30,595 Speaker 1: to look act like a martyr here. But since we 259 00:17:30,635 --> 00:17:33,635 Speaker 1: are both still here for several minutes last night, I 260 00:17:33,675 --> 00:17:37,795 Speaker 1: was thinking, I wonder if Elon Musk suspended us as 261 00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:41,635 Speaker 1: a diversion so nobody would remember Trump making a fool 262 00:17:41,675 --> 00:17:44,835 Speaker 1: out of himself with those cartoon baseball cards, which was 263 00:17:44,955 --> 00:17:49,755 Speaker 1: also only yesterday. Some thoughts on that. And it is 264 00:17:49,795 --> 00:17:52,155 Speaker 1: after all Fridays with Thurber, So listen to the rest 265 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:54,955 Speaker 1: of this. Listen to the rest of the podcast. All right, 266 00:17:55,235 --> 00:17:59,435 Speaker 1: I'm playing in pain here. That's next. This dis countdown. 267 00:18:06,715 --> 00:18:13,235 Speaker 1: This is countdown with Keith Olberman. This is countdown with 268 00:18:13,395 --> 00:18:19,595 Speaker 1: Keith Olberman. This is countdown with Keith Olberman. This is 269 00:18:19,675 --> 00:18:24,355 Speaker 1: countdown with Keith old Woman. This is countdown with Keith Olberman. 270 00:18:24,795 --> 00:18:30,115 Speaker 1: My crazy friend, you know. This is countdown with you know, Keith, 271 00:18:30,955 --> 00:18:41,795 Speaker 1: This is countdown with Keith? Why not? So I'm gonna 272 00:18:41,835 --> 00:18:45,755 Speaker 1: give myself credit here. On Wednesday, when Trump burped out 273 00:18:45,835 --> 00:18:48,835 Speaker 1: news of his major announcement that had something to do 274 00:18:48,875 --> 00:18:53,675 Speaker 1: with America needing a superhero, I tweeted, remember Twitter, it's 275 00:18:53,755 --> 00:18:57,795 Speaker 1: some animated cartoon version of him, isn't it, which would 276 00:18:57,835 --> 00:19:02,395 Speaker 1: be goddamned funny since he's already the cartoon version of him. 277 00:19:02,395 --> 00:19:07,475 Speaker 1: I was so close digital trading cards of Trump at 278 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:11,115 Speaker 1: a peace that show him dressed up in a series 279 00:19:11,155 --> 00:19:14,155 Speaker 1: of outfits he could never fit in in real life. 280 00:19:15,795 --> 00:19:17,435 Speaker 1: This was the lead story till all of us got 281 00:19:17,475 --> 00:19:20,635 Speaker 1: suspended from Twitter, and again I keep thinking, did must 282 00:19:20,715 --> 00:19:23,115 Speaker 1: do that just so we'd forget about these Trump cards. 283 00:19:24,475 --> 00:19:28,395 Speaker 1: The illustrations on the cards are, to say the least unfortunate. 284 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:32,035 Speaker 1: Even Republicans are saying this is not a serious person. 285 00:19:32,155 --> 00:19:34,955 Speaker 1: He clearly did not look at them before they were released. 286 00:19:35,315 --> 00:19:39,115 Speaker 1: One illustration has him revealing some sort of Superman shirt, 287 00:19:39,195 --> 00:19:42,035 Speaker 1: only with the letter T instead of the letter S 288 00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:44,555 Speaker 1: on it, and there are rays coming out of his 289 00:19:44,635 --> 00:19:46,595 Speaker 1: eyes as he stands in front of Trump Tower. But 290 00:19:46,675 --> 00:19:49,755 Speaker 1: due to unfortunate cropping of the image it instead reads 291 00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:54,755 Speaker 1: not Trump tower but rump towel. There's another one with 292 00:19:54,835 --> 00:19:57,995 Speaker 1: him dressed up as a race car driver room room only. 293 00:19:58,035 --> 00:20:01,155 Speaker 1: The baseball cap he's wearing does not fit, and for 294 00:20:01,195 --> 00:20:06,355 Speaker 1: some reason it says Texas over his crotch. Another illustration 295 00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:09,195 Speaker 1: has him in a cowboy duster with mountains behind him, 296 00:20:09,235 --> 00:20:11,675 Speaker 1: and if you look closely enough, it appears that there 297 00:20:11,715 --> 00:20:15,715 Speaker 1: are two horses in the background having sex. There's also 298 00:20:15,795 --> 00:20:18,635 Speaker 1: one of him in some sort of flight suit standing 299 00:20:18,715 --> 00:20:22,995 Speaker 1: in space or I don't know, but again, next time, 300 00:20:23,435 --> 00:20:27,555 Speaker 1: don hire somebody else to draw them. There appears to 301 00:20:27,595 --> 00:20:30,995 Speaker 1: be fluid pouring out of the seat of Trump's pants. 302 00:20:32,995 --> 00:20:34,955 Speaker 1: So maybe I was wrong and it wasn't a drawing. 303 00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:40,075 Speaker 1: Baseball cards and trading cards and digital cards, I know 304 00:20:40,275 --> 00:20:44,035 Speaker 1: something about these things. Twenty years ago, my old friends 305 00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:47,035 Speaker 1: at Tops, for whom I was a consultant, tried something 306 00:20:47,075 --> 00:20:50,155 Speaker 1: called e tops where you bought the cards from them 307 00:20:50,195 --> 00:20:52,555 Speaker 1: and they kept them from or you and you had 308 00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,995 Speaker 1: a digital wallet full of the cards. And that went 309 00:20:55,035 --> 00:20:58,315 Speaker 1: fine for a couple of days, and then people said, wait, wait, wait. 310 00:20:58,395 --> 00:21:01,275 Speaker 1: The premise of baseball cards is you have them, they 311 00:21:01,275 --> 00:21:04,915 Speaker 1: really exist, you keep them in your house. There have 312 00:21:04,995 --> 00:21:07,235 Speaker 1: since been some more n f T like things in 313 00:21:07,315 --> 00:21:10,795 Speaker 1: sports cards, but they frankly have gone nowhere. So the 314 00:21:10,875 --> 00:21:14,435 Speaker 1: premise is bad and the execution is worse, unless you 315 00:21:14,435 --> 00:21:16,555 Speaker 1: want a picture of Trump with two horses behind him 316 00:21:16,555 --> 00:21:22,395 Speaker 1: having sex. All in all, they reminded me, and not favorably, 317 00:21:22,555 --> 00:21:25,155 Speaker 1: of a website that lets you select from thousands of 318 00:21:25,235 --> 00:21:28,395 Speaker 1: images onto which they will photoshop a photo of your 319 00:21:28,435 --> 00:21:31,595 Speaker 1: dog or your cat. I actually had them made. They 320 00:21:31,635 --> 00:21:36,995 Speaker 1: are terrific. They are seamless, they're perfectly sized, color corrected, 321 00:21:37,075 --> 00:21:40,515 Speaker 1: my girl Stevie as President in suit and tie at 322 00:21:40,515 --> 00:21:43,835 Speaker 1: the podium, my late Mishu as a doctor, Ted as 323 00:21:43,875 --> 00:21:46,595 Speaker 1: a ball player, Rose who loves to dig into corners 324 00:21:46,635 --> 00:21:49,875 Speaker 1: and hide under couches as an astronaut. And they were 325 00:21:49,915 --> 00:21:53,715 Speaker 1: like sixty bucks apiece before the discount, and they literally 326 00:21:53,755 --> 00:21:57,555 Speaker 1: could not be improved upon nice big prints. They look nice, 327 00:21:57,595 --> 00:22:01,115 Speaker 1: they're well made, kitchy as it sounds, they're perfect. On 328 00:22:01,155 --> 00:22:05,875 Speaker 1: the other hand, for only forty dollars more. Each Trump 329 00:22:05,955 --> 00:22:09,275 Speaker 1: just looks like a poorly photoshop douche bag in a hat, 330 00:22:10,075 --> 00:22:13,915 Speaker 1: or a poorly photoshop douche bag not in a hat 331 00:22:14,835 --> 00:22:18,115 Speaker 1: or a poorly photoshop douche bag standing in front of 332 00:22:18,355 --> 00:22:24,275 Speaker 1: rump towel with horses having sex behind him. I mean, 333 00:22:24,315 --> 00:22:26,435 Speaker 1: for crying out loud. For ninety nine dollars, you can 334 00:22:26,475 --> 00:22:29,115 Speaker 1: go on eBay and you can buy a used ticket 335 00:22:29,195 --> 00:22:33,915 Speaker 1: to his inauguration, which has some historical value. However, stupid 336 00:22:33,955 --> 00:22:39,435 Speaker 1: that historical stuff is, or you know, go crazy buy 337 00:22:39,475 --> 00:22:42,715 Speaker 1: a used ticket to his first impeachment only eight d 338 00:22:44,515 --> 00:22:51,395 Speaker 1: trust me a much better investment. Back with Fridays with Furber, 339 00:22:51,835 --> 00:23:14,195 Speaker 1: next Nancy House to the number one story on the Countdown. 340 00:23:14,195 --> 00:23:16,435 Speaker 1: And since it is the weekend addition, it's time for 341 00:23:16,475 --> 00:23:20,635 Speaker 1: some James Thurber. The Catbird Seat combines two of my 342 00:23:20,715 --> 00:23:25,275 Speaker 1: all time favorite things, Thurber and baseball broadcasting. As Thurber 343 00:23:25,355 --> 00:23:27,835 Speaker 1: will reveal in the story, the title comes from a 344 00:23:27,915 --> 00:23:31,835 Speaker 1: catchphrase used by the Brooklyn Dodgers legendary announcer Red Barber, 345 00:23:32,235 --> 00:23:35,475 Speaker 1: the man who trained Vince Scully and is my late 346 00:23:35,515 --> 00:23:38,875 Speaker 1: friend Vin's only true competition for greatest baseball play by 347 00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:42,355 Speaker 1: play man of all time. I met Red Barber once 348 00:23:42,395 --> 00:23:45,875 Speaker 1: I interviewed him for CNN. He called me Keith throughout 349 00:23:45,915 --> 00:23:49,115 Speaker 1: the interview. I was so star struck. It's pretty much 350 00:23:49,235 --> 00:23:54,755 Speaker 1: all I remember from the interview. Anyway, Bert Lancaster bought 351 00:23:54,755 --> 00:23:57,475 Speaker 1: the movie rights to this story and he got Billy 352 00:23:57,595 --> 00:24:01,275 Speaker 1: Wilder to commit to direct it. Well, how come you've 353 00:24:01,315 --> 00:24:04,595 Speaker 1: never heard of this perfect sounding film, The Catbird Seat, 354 00:24:04,915 --> 00:24:09,315 Speaker 1: directed by Billy Wilder. They sold the rights and in 355 00:24:09,435 --> 00:24:13,075 Speaker 1: nineteen sixty the film was made, but they relocated it 356 00:24:13,115 --> 00:24:18,115 Speaker 1: from Manhattan to Scotland, starring Peter Sellers dressed up as 357 00:24:18,155 --> 00:24:23,715 Speaker 1: an old man as Mr Martin. It's okay unless you've 358 00:24:23,755 --> 00:24:28,195 Speaker 1: read the story or had it read to you from 359 00:24:28,195 --> 00:24:36,275 Speaker 1: the Thurber Carnival, The Catbird Seat by James Thurber. Mr 360 00:24:36,315 --> 00:24:38,835 Speaker 1: Martin bought the pack of camels on Monday night in 361 00:24:38,875 --> 00:24:41,995 Speaker 1: the most crowded cigar store on Broadway. It was theater 362 00:24:42,115 --> 00:24:45,355 Speaker 1: time and seven or eight men were buying cigarettes. The 363 00:24:45,395 --> 00:24:47,595 Speaker 1: clerk didn't even glance at Mr Martin, who put the 364 00:24:47,635 --> 00:24:51,235 Speaker 1: pack in his overcoat pocket and went out. If any 365 00:24:51,355 --> 00:24:54,315 Speaker 1: of the staff at F and S had seen him 366 00:24:54,435 --> 00:24:58,915 Speaker 1: by the cigarettes, they would have been astonished, for it 367 00:24:58,995 --> 00:25:01,515 Speaker 1: was generally known that Mr Martin did not smoke and 368 00:25:01,595 --> 00:25:06,435 Speaker 1: never had. No one saw him. It was just a 369 00:25:06,435 --> 00:25:08,875 Speaker 1: week to the day since Mr Martin had decided to 370 00:25:09,035 --> 00:25:14,875 Speaker 1: rub out Mrs Old Jean Barrows. The term rub out 371 00:25:15,715 --> 00:25:19,395 Speaker 1: pleased him because it suggested nothing more than the correction 372 00:25:19,635 --> 00:25:24,235 Speaker 1: of an error, in this case, an error of Mr Fitzweiler. 373 00:25:25,715 --> 00:25:27,835 Speaker 1: Mr Martin had spent each night of the past week 374 00:25:27,875 --> 00:25:30,915 Speaker 1: working out his plan and examining it as he walked home. 375 00:25:30,995 --> 00:25:34,355 Speaker 1: Now he went over it again for the hundredth time. 376 00:25:34,515 --> 00:25:39,355 Speaker 1: He resented the element of imprecision, the margin of guesswork 377 00:25:39,435 --> 00:25:42,955 Speaker 1: that entered into the business. The project, as he had 378 00:25:42,995 --> 00:25:48,395 Speaker 1: worked it out, was casual and bold. The risks were considerable. 379 00:25:48,675 --> 00:25:53,675 Speaker 1: Something might go wrong anywhere along the line, and therein 380 00:25:53,955 --> 00:25:57,195 Speaker 1: lay the cunning of his scheme. No one would ever 381 00:25:57,315 --> 00:26:01,675 Speaker 1: see in the cautious, painstaking hand of Irwin Martin, head 382 00:26:01,675 --> 00:26:04,675 Speaker 1: of the filing department at F and S, of whom 383 00:26:04,755 --> 00:26:08,555 Speaker 1: Mr Fittweiler had once said, man is fellow little, but 384 00:26:08,675 --> 00:26:13,995 Speaker 1: Martin isn't. No one would see his hand, that is, 385 00:26:14,955 --> 00:26:20,235 Speaker 1: unless he were caught in the act. Sitting in his 386 00:26:20,275 --> 00:26:23,995 Speaker 1: apartment drinking a glass of milk, Mr Martin reviewed his 387 00:26:24,075 --> 00:26:28,235 Speaker 1: case against Mrs Old Jean Barrows, as he had every 388 00:26:28,355 --> 00:26:32,395 Speaker 1: night for seven nights. He began at the beginning, her 389 00:26:32,555 --> 00:26:37,115 Speaker 1: quacking voice and braying laugh at first profaned the halls 390 00:26:37,195 --> 00:26:42,195 Speaker 1: of F and S. On March seven, Mr Martin had 391 00:26:42,235 --> 00:26:46,195 Speaker 1: a head for dates. Old Roberts, the personnel chief, had 392 00:26:46,275 --> 00:26:50,515 Speaker 1: introduced her as the newly appointed special adviser to the 393 00:26:50,555 --> 00:26:54,755 Speaker 1: President of the firm, Mr Fittweiler. The woman had appalled 394 00:26:54,915 --> 00:26:59,155 Speaker 1: Mr Martin instantly, but he had not shown it. He 395 00:26:59,195 --> 00:27:01,875 Speaker 1: had given her his dry hand, a look of studious 396 00:27:01,875 --> 00:27:06,555 Speaker 1: concentration and a faint smile. Why hell, she said, looking 397 00:27:06,555 --> 00:27:08,955 Speaker 1: at the papers on his desk, are you lifting the 398 00:27:08,995 --> 00:27:13,715 Speaker 1: ox cart out of the ditch. As Mr Martin recalled 399 00:27:13,755 --> 00:27:18,355 Speaker 1: that moment over his milk, he squirmed slightly. He must 400 00:27:18,395 --> 00:27:20,875 Speaker 1: keep his mind on her crimes as a special advisor, 401 00:27:20,955 --> 00:27:25,115 Speaker 1: not on her peccadillos as a personality. This he found 402 00:27:25,155 --> 00:27:28,395 Speaker 1: difficult to do. In spite of entering an objection and 403 00:27:28,515 --> 00:27:31,355 Speaker 1: sustaining it, The faults of the woman as a woman 404 00:27:31,875 --> 00:27:34,875 Speaker 1: kept chattering on in his mind like an unruly witness. 405 00:27:35,595 --> 00:27:40,035 Speaker 1: She had for almost two years now baited him in 406 00:27:40,075 --> 00:27:43,395 Speaker 1: the halls, in the elevator, even in his own office, 407 00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:47,635 Speaker 1: into which she romped now and then like a circus horse. 408 00:27:48,875 --> 00:27:52,595 Speaker 1: She was constantly shouting these silly questions at him. I 409 00:27:52,835 --> 00:27:55,555 Speaker 1: lifting the ox cart out of the ditch. Are you 410 00:27:55,635 --> 00:27:58,555 Speaker 1: tearing up the pea patch? Are you hollering down the 411 00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:01,715 Speaker 1: rain barrel? Are you scraping around the bottom of the 412 00:28:01,715 --> 00:28:05,795 Speaker 1: pickle barrel? Are you sitting in the hat married set? 413 00:28:08,435 --> 00:28:12,995 Speaker 1: It was Joey Hart, one of Mr Martin's two assistants, 414 00:28:14,115 --> 00:28:18,115 Speaker 1: who had explained what the gibberish meant. She must be 415 00:28:18,155 --> 00:28:21,795 Speaker 1: a dodging fan, he had said, Red Boba announces the 416 00:28:21,835 --> 00:28:24,715 Speaker 1: dodging games over the radio, and he uses these expressions, 417 00:28:24,995 --> 00:28:29,075 Speaker 1: picked them up down south. Joey had gone on to 418 00:28:29,155 --> 00:28:32,715 Speaker 1: explain one or two tearing up the pea patch meant 419 00:28:32,795 --> 00:28:37,555 Speaker 1: going on a rampage, Sitting in the catbird seat meant 420 00:28:37,675 --> 00:28:40,315 Speaker 1: sitting pretty like a batter with three balls and no 421 00:28:40,435 --> 00:28:44,555 Speaker 1: strikes on him. Mr Martin dismissed all this with an effort. 422 00:28:44,995 --> 00:28:48,075 Speaker 1: It had been annoying, it had driven him near to distraction, 423 00:28:48,395 --> 00:28:51,075 Speaker 1: but he was too solid a man to be moved 424 00:28:51,675 --> 00:28:57,995 Speaker 1: to murder by anything so childish. It was unfortunate, he reflected, 425 00:28:58,035 --> 00:29:01,155 Speaker 1: as he passed onto the important charges against Mrs Barrows, 426 00:29:01,475 --> 00:29:04,755 Speaker 1: that he had stood up under it so well. He 427 00:29:04,755 --> 00:29:11,315 Speaker 1: had maintained always an outward appearance of polite tolerance. Why 428 00:29:11,835 --> 00:29:15,755 Speaker 1: I even believed you liked the woman mispaired, his other assistant, 429 00:29:15,835 --> 00:29:20,195 Speaker 1: had once said to him. He had simply smiled a 430 00:29:20,275 --> 00:29:22,795 Speaker 1: gavil wrapped in Mr Martin's mind, and the case proper 431 00:29:22,875 --> 00:29:26,955 Speaker 1: was resumed. Mrs all Jean Barrows stood charged with willful, blatant, 432 00:29:26,995 --> 00:29:30,995 Speaker 1: and persistent attempts to destroy the efficiency and system of 433 00:29:31,075 --> 00:29:34,955 Speaker 1: F and S. It was confident material and relevant to 434 00:29:34,955 --> 00:29:38,955 Speaker 1: review her advent and rise to power. Mr Martin had 435 00:29:38,955 --> 00:29:41,515 Speaker 1: got the story from Miss Pair, who seemed always able 436 00:29:41,555 --> 00:29:46,995 Speaker 1: to find things out. According to her, Mrs Barrows had 437 00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:51,155 Speaker 1: met Mr Fitweller at a party where she had rescued 438 00:29:51,235 --> 00:29:54,355 Speaker 1: him from the embraces of a powerfully built, drunken man 439 00:29:54,635 --> 00:29:57,555 Speaker 1: who had mistaken the president of F and S for 440 00:29:57,635 --> 00:30:03,195 Speaker 1: a famous retired middle Western football coach. She had led 441 00:30:03,275 --> 00:30:05,955 Speaker 1: him to a sofa and somehow worked upon him a 442 00:30:06,155 --> 00:30:11,195 Speaker 1: monstrous magic. The aging gentleman had jumped to the conclusion 443 00:30:11,235 --> 00:30:14,515 Speaker 1: there and then that this was a woman of singular attainments, 444 00:30:14,795 --> 00:30:17,395 Speaker 1: equipped to bring out the best in him and in 445 00:30:17,435 --> 00:30:21,235 Speaker 1: the firm. A week later, he had introduced her into 446 00:30:21,395 --> 00:30:28,475 Speaker 1: F and S as his special adviser. On that day, 447 00:30:28,715 --> 00:30:34,235 Speaker 1: confusion got its foot in the door. After Miss Tyson, 448 00:30:34,395 --> 00:30:36,875 Speaker 1: Mr Brundage and Mr Bartlett had been fired, and Mr 449 00:30:36,915 --> 00:30:39,715 Speaker 1: Munson had taken his hat and stalked out mailing. In 450 00:30:39,955 --> 00:30:43,955 Speaker 1: his resignation letter, Old Roberts had been emboldened to speak 451 00:30:44,035 --> 00:30:47,795 Speaker 1: to Mr Fittweiler. He mentioned that Mr Munson's department had 452 00:30:47,835 --> 00:30:51,915 Speaker 1: become a little disrupted, and hadn't they perhaps better resumed 453 00:30:51,915 --> 00:30:56,075 Speaker 1: the old system there. Mr Fittweler had said, certainly not. 454 00:30:56,875 --> 00:31:00,555 Speaker 1: He had the greatest faith in Mrs Barrow's ideas. They 455 00:31:00,715 --> 00:31:04,595 Speaker 1: require a little seasoning. Little seasoning is all, he had added. 456 00:31:04,755 --> 00:31:09,395 Speaker 1: Mr Roberts had given it up. Mr Martin reviewed in 457 00:31:09,515 --> 00:31:12,595 Speaker 1: detail all the changes wrought by Mrs Barrows. She had 458 00:31:12,595 --> 00:31:15,595 Speaker 1: begun chipping at the cornices of the firm's edifice, and 459 00:31:15,675 --> 00:31:19,835 Speaker 1: now she was swinging at the foundation stones with a pickaxe. 460 00:31:21,795 --> 00:31:23,915 Speaker 1: Mr Martin came now in his summing up to the 461 00:31:23,955 --> 00:31:29,675 Speaker 1: afternoon of Monday, November two, just one week ago. On 462 00:31:29,795 --> 00:31:33,595 Speaker 1: that day, at three pm, Mrs Barrows had bounced into 463 00:31:33,635 --> 00:31:37,315 Speaker 1: his office boom. She had yelled, are you scraping around 464 00:31:37,355 --> 00:31:41,755 Speaker 1: the bottom of the pickle barrel? Mr Martin had looked 465 00:31:41,755 --> 00:31:44,795 Speaker 1: at her from under his green eye shade, saying nothing. 466 00:31:45,875 --> 00:31:48,675 Speaker 1: She had begun to wander about the office, taking it 467 00:31:48,715 --> 00:31:52,115 Speaker 1: in with her great popping eyes. Do you really need 468 00:31:52,355 --> 00:31:58,835 Speaker 1: all these filing cabinets, she had demanded. Suddenly. Mr Martin's 469 00:31:58,835 --> 00:32:03,835 Speaker 1: heart had jumped each of these files, he had said, 470 00:32:03,915 --> 00:32:06,915 Speaker 1: keeping his voice even plays an indispensable part in the 471 00:32:07,035 --> 00:32:11,035 Speaker 1: system of f and s. She had brayed at him, 472 00:32:11,235 --> 00:32:14,595 Speaker 1: while don't tear up the pea patch, and gone to 473 00:32:14,675 --> 00:32:18,555 Speaker 1: the door. From there she had bawled, but you share 474 00:32:18,635 --> 00:32:23,715 Speaker 1: have got a lot of fine scrap in here. Mr 475 00:32:23,715 --> 00:32:27,435 Speaker 1: Martin could no longer doubt that the finger was on 476 00:32:27,715 --> 00:32:32,275 Speaker 1: his beloved department. Her pick axe was on the upswing, 477 00:32:32,395 --> 00:32:36,235 Speaker 1: poise for the first blow. It had not come yet. 478 00:32:36,715 --> 00:32:39,435 Speaker 1: He had received no blue memo from the enchanted Mr 479 00:32:39,475 --> 00:32:44,915 Speaker 1: Fitweller bearing nonsensical instructions deriving from this obscene woman, But 480 00:32:44,955 --> 00:32:47,155 Speaker 1: there was no doubt in Mr Martin's mind that one 481 00:32:47,195 --> 00:32:52,275 Speaker 1: would be forthcoming. He must act quickly. Already a precious 482 00:32:52,315 --> 00:32:56,955 Speaker 1: week had gone by. Mr Martin stood up in his 483 00:32:57,035 --> 00:33:01,435 Speaker 1: living room, still holding his milk glass. Gentleman of the jury, 484 00:33:01,555 --> 00:33:07,115 Speaker 1: he said to himself, I demand the death penalty for 485 00:33:07,275 --> 00:33:13,595 Speaker 1: this horrible person. The next day, Mr Martin followed his 486 00:33:13,675 --> 00:33:16,515 Speaker 1: routine as usual. He polished his glasses more often and 487 00:33:16,595 --> 00:33:19,355 Speaker 1: once sharpened and already sharp pencil, but not even miss 488 00:33:19,435 --> 00:33:23,915 Speaker 1: pair noticed. Only once did he catch sight of his victim. 489 00:33:23,995 --> 00:33:26,875 Speaker 1: She swept past him in the hall with a patronizing hi. 490 00:33:28,075 --> 00:33:30,355 Speaker 1: At five thirty, he walked home as usual and had 491 00:33:30,355 --> 00:33:33,955 Speaker 1: a glass of milk as usual. He had never drunk 492 00:33:34,035 --> 00:33:38,035 Speaker 1: anything stronger in his life, unless you could count ginger Ale. 493 00:33:39,075 --> 00:33:42,395 Speaker 1: The late Sam Schlosser, the s of F and S, 494 00:33:42,435 --> 00:33:44,755 Speaker 1: had praised Mr Martin at a staff meeting several years 495 00:33:44,755 --> 00:33:49,515 Speaker 1: before for his temperate habits. One of our most efficient workers. 496 00:33:49,555 --> 00:33:53,315 Speaker 1: Neither drinks nor smokes, he had said, The results speak 497 00:33:53,395 --> 00:33:59,955 Speaker 1: for themselves. Mr Fittweiler had sat by, nodding approval. Mr 498 00:33:59,955 --> 00:34:02,235 Speaker 1: Martin was still thinking about that red letter day as 499 00:34:02,235 --> 00:34:04,475 Speaker 1: he walked over to the Shafts restaurant on Fifth, a 500 00:34:04,715 --> 00:34:07,835 Speaker 1: New Near st. He got there as he always did, 501 00:34:07,835 --> 00:34:10,835 Speaker 1: at eight o'clock. He finished his dinner and the financial 502 00:34:10,835 --> 00:34:13,115 Speaker 1: page of the New York Sun a quartered at the nine. 503 00:34:13,155 --> 00:34:16,195 Speaker 1: As he always did, It was his custom after dinner 504 00:34:16,235 --> 00:34:18,795 Speaker 1: to take a walk. This time he walked down Fifth 505 00:34:18,795 --> 00:34:23,315 Speaker 1: Avenue at a casual place. His gloved hands felt moist 506 00:34:23,435 --> 00:34:28,075 Speaker 1: and warm, his forehead cold. He transferred the camels from 507 00:34:28,115 --> 00:34:30,915 Speaker 1: his overcoat to a jacket pocket. He wondered as he 508 00:34:30,955 --> 00:34:33,955 Speaker 1: did so, if they did not represent an unnecessary note 509 00:34:33,955 --> 00:34:39,995 Speaker 1: of strain. Mrs Barrows smoked only Lucky's. It was his 510 00:34:40,075 --> 00:34:44,155 Speaker 1: idea to puff a few puffs on a camel after 511 00:34:44,235 --> 00:34:47,355 Speaker 1: the rubbing out, stub it out in the ashtray, holding 512 00:34:47,355 --> 00:34:51,475 Speaker 1: her lipstick, saying Lucky's, and thus dragged a small red 513 00:34:51,595 --> 00:34:55,395 Speaker 1: herring across the trail. Perhaps it was not a good idea. 514 00:34:55,835 --> 00:35:00,315 Speaker 1: It would take time. He might even choke too loudly. 515 00:35:02,635 --> 00:35:05,115 Speaker 1: Mr Martin had never seen the house on wet twelfth 516 00:35:05,115 --> 00:35:07,195 Speaker 1: Street where Mrs Barrows lived, but he had a clear 517 00:35:07,275 --> 00:35:11,195 Speaker 1: enough picture of it. Fortunately, she had bragged to everybody 518 00:35:11,235 --> 00:35:15,955 Speaker 1: about her ducky first floor apartment in the perfectly darling 519 00:35:16,155 --> 00:35:19,955 Speaker 1: three story red brick. There would be no doorman or 520 00:35:19,995 --> 00:35:23,075 Speaker 1: other attendants, just the tenants of the second and third floors. 521 00:35:23,555 --> 00:35:25,915 Speaker 1: As he walked along, Mr Martin realized that he would 522 00:35:25,915 --> 00:35:31,075 Speaker 1: get there before nine. He had considered walking north on 523 00:35:31,155 --> 00:35:33,435 Speaker 1: Fifth Avenue from Shrafts to a point from which it 524 00:35:33,475 --> 00:35:35,955 Speaker 1: would take him until ten o'clock to reach the house. 525 00:35:36,235 --> 00:35:38,715 Speaker 1: At that hour people were less likely to be coming 526 00:35:38,715 --> 00:35:41,395 Speaker 1: in or going out. But the procedure would have made 527 00:35:41,395 --> 00:35:45,235 Speaker 1: an awkward loop in the straight thread of his casualness, 528 00:35:45,275 --> 00:35:48,675 Speaker 1: and he had abandoned it. It was impossible to figure 529 00:35:48,715 --> 00:35:51,155 Speaker 1: when people would be entering or leaving the house. Anyway, 530 00:35:51,355 --> 00:35:54,355 Speaker 1: there was a great risk at any hour if he 531 00:35:54,435 --> 00:35:56,675 Speaker 1: ran into anybody, he would simply have to place the 532 00:35:56,755 --> 00:36:01,555 Speaker 1: rubbing out of Old Jean Barrows in the inactive file forever. 533 00:36:02,995 --> 00:36:04,515 Speaker 1: The same thing would hold true if there were some 534 00:36:04,875 --> 00:36:07,275 Speaker 1: in her apartment. In that case, he would just say 535 00:36:07,275 --> 00:36:10,715 Speaker 1: that he had been passing by, recognized her charming house, 536 00:36:11,675 --> 00:36:16,435 Speaker 1: and thought to drop in. It was eighteen minutes after 537 00:36:16,515 --> 00:36:18,715 Speaker 1: nine when Mr Martin turned into twelfth straight. A man 538 00:36:18,755 --> 00:36:22,555 Speaker 1: passed him, and a man and a woman talking. There 539 00:36:22,635 --> 00:36:24,795 Speaker 1: was no one within fifty paces When he came to 540 00:36:24,835 --> 00:36:27,995 Speaker 1: the house halfway down the block. He was up the 541 00:36:28,035 --> 00:36:30,555 Speaker 1: steps and in the small vestibule, and no time pressing 542 00:36:30,595 --> 00:36:33,315 Speaker 1: the bell under the card that said Mrs Old Jean Barrows. 543 00:36:33,355 --> 00:36:35,675 Speaker 1: When the clicking in the lock started, he jumped forward 544 00:36:35,675 --> 00:36:37,955 Speaker 1: against the door. He got inside fast, closing the door 545 00:36:37,955 --> 00:36:40,395 Speaker 1: behind him. A bulb in a lantern hung from the 546 00:36:40,395 --> 00:36:42,995 Speaker 1: hall ceiling on a chain, seemed to give a monstrously 547 00:36:43,155 --> 00:36:45,675 Speaker 1: bright light. There was nobody on the stair which went 548 00:36:45,755 --> 00:36:48,155 Speaker 1: up ahead of him along the left wall. A door 549 00:36:48,195 --> 00:36:50,435 Speaker 1: opened down the hall on the wall on the right. 550 00:36:51,395 --> 00:36:56,915 Speaker 1: He went toward it, swiftly on tiptoe. Well, for God's sakes, 551 00:36:56,995 --> 00:37:01,355 Speaker 1: let who's here? Baled Mrs Barrows, and her braying laugh 552 00:37:01,515 --> 00:37:04,635 Speaker 1: rang out like the report of a shotgun. He rushed 553 00:37:04,835 --> 00:37:09,035 Speaker 1: passed her like a football tacker, bumping her. Hey, quit shoving, 554 00:37:09,475 --> 00:37:12,515 Speaker 1: she said, closing the door behind them. They were in 555 00:37:12,595 --> 00:37:14,875 Speaker 1: her living room, which seemed to Mr Martin to be 556 00:37:14,995 --> 00:37:20,275 Speaker 1: lighted by a hundred lamps. What's after you? She said, 557 00:37:20,355 --> 00:37:24,315 Speaker 1: here's jumpy as a goat. He found he was unable 558 00:37:24,395 --> 00:37:30,075 Speaker 1: to speak. His heart was wheezing in his throat. I yes, 559 00:37:30,675 --> 00:37:34,235 Speaker 1: he finally brought out. She was jabbering and laughing as 560 00:37:34,275 --> 00:37:36,795 Speaker 1: she started to help him off with his coat. No, no, 561 00:37:37,235 --> 00:37:40,915 Speaker 1: he said, I'll put it here. He took it off 562 00:37:40,955 --> 00:37:43,835 Speaker 1: and put it on a chair near the door. Your 563 00:37:43,835 --> 00:37:47,195 Speaker 1: hat and gloves too, she said, you're in a lady's house. 564 00:37:48,275 --> 00:37:50,715 Speaker 1: He put his hat on top of the coat. Mrs 565 00:37:50,715 --> 00:37:54,435 Speaker 1: Barrows seemed larger than he had thought. He kept his 566 00:37:54,555 --> 00:38:01,115 Speaker 1: gloves on. I was passing by, he said, I I recognized. 567 00:38:02,475 --> 00:38:07,115 Speaker 1: Is there anyone here? She laughed louder than ever. No, 568 00:38:07,715 --> 00:38:10,955 Speaker 1: she said, we're all alone. You're why is a sheet? 569 00:38:11,035 --> 00:38:13,915 Speaker 1: You funny man? Whatever has come over you. I'll mix 570 00:38:13,955 --> 00:38:17,395 Speaker 1: you a toddy. She started toward a door across the room. 571 00:38:17,795 --> 00:38:20,675 Speaker 1: Scotch and soda be all right, But say you don't drink, 572 00:38:20,755 --> 00:38:25,275 Speaker 1: do you? She turned and gave him her amused look. 573 00:38:26,075 --> 00:38:29,715 Speaker 1: Mr Martin pulled himself together. Scotch and soda will be 574 00:38:29,755 --> 00:38:32,755 Speaker 1: all right, he heard himself say. He could hear her 575 00:38:32,875 --> 00:38:36,715 Speaker 1: laughing in the kitchen. Mr Martin looked quickly around the 576 00:38:36,755 --> 00:38:39,915 Speaker 1: living room for the weapon he had counted on finding one. 577 00:38:39,955 --> 00:38:43,435 Speaker 1: There there were and irons, and a poker, and something 578 00:38:43,435 --> 00:38:46,035 Speaker 1: in a corner that looked like an Indian club. None 579 00:38:46,035 --> 00:38:49,435 Speaker 1: of them would do it. Couldn't be that way. He 580 00:38:49,515 --> 00:38:51,915 Speaker 1: began to pace around. He came to a desk. On 581 00:38:52,075 --> 00:38:54,715 Speaker 1: it lay a metal paper knife with an ornate handle. 582 00:38:54,955 --> 00:38:57,635 Speaker 1: Would it be sharp enough? He reached for it and 583 00:38:57,715 --> 00:39:01,355 Speaker 1: knocked over a small brash jar. Stamps spilled out of 584 00:39:01,395 --> 00:39:03,915 Speaker 1: it and fell onto the floor with a clatter. Hey, 585 00:39:04,475 --> 00:39:07,195 Speaker 1: ms His Barrows yelled from the kitchen, are you tearing 586 00:39:07,275 --> 00:39:12,035 Speaker 1: up the pea patch? Mr Martin gave a strange laugh. 587 00:39:13,035 --> 00:39:15,275 Speaker 1: Picking up the knife, he tried its point against his 588 00:39:15,355 --> 00:39:21,795 Speaker 1: left wrist. It was blunt. It wouldn't do. When Mrs 589 00:39:21,795 --> 00:39:26,395 Speaker 1: Barrows reappeared carrying two highballs, Mr Martin, standing there with 590 00:39:26,435 --> 00:39:30,035 Speaker 1: his gloves on, became acutely conscious of the fantasy. He 591 00:39:30,115 --> 00:39:35,195 Speaker 1: had wrought cigarettes in his pocket, a drink prepared for him. 592 00:39:35,275 --> 00:39:40,035 Speaker 1: It was all too grossly improbable. It was more than that, 593 00:39:40,115 --> 00:39:46,155 Speaker 1: it was impossible. Somewhere in the back of his mind 594 00:39:47,075 --> 00:39:53,875 Speaker 1: a vague idea stirred sprouted. For Heaven's sake, take off 595 00:39:53,915 --> 00:39:58,515 Speaker 1: those gloves, said Mrs Barrows. I always wear them in 596 00:39:58,555 --> 00:40:04,875 Speaker 1: the house, said Mr Martin. The idea began to bloom, 597 00:40:05,075 --> 00:40:09,315 Speaker 1: strange and wonderful. She put the glasses on a coffee 598 00:40:09,315 --> 00:40:11,475 Speaker 1: table in front of a sofa and sat on the sofa. 599 00:40:11,635 --> 00:40:15,715 Speaker 1: Come over here, you odd little man, she said. Mr 600 00:40:15,715 --> 00:40:18,555 Speaker 1: Martin went over and sat beside her. It was difficult 601 00:40:18,555 --> 00:40:20,515 Speaker 1: getting a cigarette out of the pack of camels, but 602 00:40:20,555 --> 00:40:24,115 Speaker 1: he managed it. She held a match for him. Laughing well, 603 00:40:24,195 --> 00:40:27,395 Speaker 1: she said, handing him his drink. This is perfectly Mira, 604 00:40:27,475 --> 00:40:34,475 Speaker 1: bless you with a drink and a cigarette. Mr Martin puffed, 605 00:40:35,115 --> 00:40:39,035 Speaker 1: not too awkwardly and took a gulp of the highball. 606 00:40:39,875 --> 00:40:42,875 Speaker 1: I drink and smoke all the time, he said. He 607 00:40:43,035 --> 00:40:47,035 Speaker 1: clinked his glass against hers. Here's nuts to that old 608 00:40:47,075 --> 00:40:52,195 Speaker 1: windbag fitweiler, he said, and gulped again. The stuff tasted awful, 609 00:40:52,875 --> 00:40:56,035 Speaker 1: but he made no grimace. Really, Mr Martin, she said, 610 00:40:56,075 --> 00:40:59,995 Speaker 1: her voice and posture changing, you are insulting our employer. 611 00:41:01,835 --> 00:41:05,795 Speaker 1: Mrs Barrows was now all special and isser to the president. 612 00:41:06,995 --> 00:41:10,755 Speaker 1: I am preparing a bomb, said Mr Martin, which will 613 00:41:10,835 --> 00:41:15,195 Speaker 1: blow the old goat higher than hell. He had only 614 00:41:15,235 --> 00:41:17,115 Speaker 1: had a little of the drink, which was not strong. 615 00:41:17,155 --> 00:41:20,995 Speaker 1: It couldn't be that. Do you take dope or something, 616 00:41:21,795 --> 00:41:27,355 Speaker 1: Mrs Barrows asked coldly. Heroin, said Mr Martin. I'll be 617 00:41:27,475 --> 00:41:30,995 Speaker 1: cooked to the gills when I bumped that old buzzard off, 618 00:41:31,675 --> 00:41:34,915 Speaker 1: Mr Martin, She shouted, getting to her feet, that will 619 00:41:34,955 --> 00:41:38,315 Speaker 1: be all of that you must go at once. Mr 620 00:41:38,355 --> 00:41:41,195 Speaker 1: Martin took another swallow of the drink. He tapped his 621 00:41:41,235 --> 00:41:43,715 Speaker 1: cigarette out in the ashtray and put the pack of 622 00:41:43,755 --> 00:41:46,715 Speaker 1: camels on the coffee table. Then he got up. She 623 00:41:46,915 --> 00:41:49,635 Speaker 1: stood glaring at him. He walked over and put on 624 00:41:49,675 --> 00:41:54,275 Speaker 1: his hat and coat. Not a word about this, he said, 625 00:41:54,395 --> 00:41:57,835 Speaker 1: and laid an index finger against his lips. All Mrs 626 00:41:57,875 --> 00:42:02,275 Speaker 1: Barrows could bring out was it really? Mr Martin put 627 00:42:02,275 --> 00:42:05,755 Speaker 1: his hand on the door knob. I'm sitting in the 628 00:42:05,875 --> 00:42:11,075 Speaker 1: catbirds seat, he said. He stuck his tongue out at 629 00:42:11,075 --> 00:42:18,675 Speaker 1: her and left. Nobody saw him go. Mr Martin got 630 00:42:18,715 --> 00:42:22,155 Speaker 1: to his apartment walking well before eleven. No one saw 631 00:42:22,235 --> 00:42:24,715 Speaker 1: him go in. He had two glasses of milk after 632 00:42:24,755 --> 00:42:28,595 Speaker 1: brushing his teeth, and he felt elated. It wasn't tipsy 633 00:42:28,635 --> 00:42:31,555 Speaker 1: in his because he hadn't been tipsy anyway. The walk 634 00:42:31,595 --> 00:42:34,675 Speaker 1: had worn off all effects of the whiskey. He got 635 00:42:34,675 --> 00:42:36,915 Speaker 1: in bed and read a magazine for a while. He 636 00:42:37,035 --> 00:42:41,835 Speaker 1: was asleep before midnight. Mr Martin got to the office 637 00:42:41,835 --> 00:42:44,315 Speaker 1: at eight thirty the next morning, as usual. At a 638 00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:47,075 Speaker 1: quarter to nine, old Jean Barrows, who had never before 639 00:42:47,155 --> 00:42:50,195 Speaker 1: arrived at work before ten, swept into his office. I 640 00:42:50,195 --> 00:42:53,755 Speaker 1: am departing to Mr Fittweiler. Now, she shouted. If he 641 00:42:53,875 --> 00:42:56,115 Speaker 1: turns you over to the police, it's no more than 642 00:42:56,155 --> 00:43:00,555 Speaker 1: you deserve. Mr Martin gave her a look of shocked surprise. 643 00:43:01,515 --> 00:43:05,835 Speaker 1: I beg your pardon, he said. Mrs Barrows snorted and 644 00:43:05,915 --> 00:43:08,115 Speaker 1: bounced out of the room, leaving Miss Pared and Joey 645 00:43:08,115 --> 00:43:11,955 Speaker 1: Hart staring after her. What's the man with that? Old 646 00:43:12,035 --> 00:43:16,395 Speaker 1: Daniel now, asked Miss Pared. I have no idea, said 647 00:43:16,475 --> 00:43:19,755 Speaker 1: Mr Martin, resuming his work. The other two looked at him, 648 00:43:19,795 --> 00:43:22,195 Speaker 1: and then at each other. Miss Peared got up and 649 00:43:22,235 --> 00:43:25,275 Speaker 1: went out. She walked slowly past the closed door of 650 00:43:25,355 --> 00:43:29,955 Speaker 1: Mr Fittweiler's office. Mrs Barrows was yelling inside, but she 651 00:43:30,075 --> 00:43:32,595 Speaker 1: was not braying. Miss Pared could not hear what the 652 00:43:32,595 --> 00:43:37,635 Speaker 1: woman was saying. She went back to her desk. Forty 653 00:43:37,755 --> 00:43:40,635 Speaker 1: five minutes later, Mrs Barrows left the President's office and 654 00:43:40,675 --> 00:43:43,595 Speaker 1: went into her own, shutting the door. It wasn't until 655 00:43:43,635 --> 00:43:46,755 Speaker 1: half an hour later that Mr Fittweiler sent for Mr Martin, 656 00:43:46,955 --> 00:43:50,355 Speaker 1: the head of the filing department. Neat, quiet, attentive, stood 657 00:43:50,355 --> 00:43:53,435 Speaker 1: in front of the old man's desk. Mr Fittweiler was 658 00:43:53,595 --> 00:43:58,355 Speaker 1: pale and nervous. He took his glasses off and twiddled them. 659 00:43:58,395 --> 00:44:03,035 Speaker 1: He made a small roughing sound in his throat. Martin, 660 00:44:03,555 --> 00:44:06,915 Speaker 1: he said, you have been with us more than twenty years, 661 00:44:08,315 --> 00:44:12,955 Speaker 1: twenty two, sir, said Mr Martin. In that time pursued 662 00:44:12,995 --> 00:44:18,315 Speaker 1: the President. Your work and your manner have been exemplary. 663 00:44:19,235 --> 00:44:23,075 Speaker 1: I trust so, sir, said Mr Martin. I have understood, Martin, 664 00:44:23,555 --> 00:44:26,315 Speaker 1: said Mr Fittweler, that you have never taken a drink 665 00:44:26,435 --> 00:44:32,715 Speaker 1: or smoked. That is correct, sir, said Mr Martin. Ah yes, 666 00:44:33,435 --> 00:44:38,195 Speaker 1: Mr Fittweiler polished his glasses. You may describe what you 667 00:44:38,235 --> 00:44:42,995 Speaker 1: did after leaving the office yesterday, Martin, he said, certainly, sir, 668 00:44:43,435 --> 00:44:46,395 Speaker 1: he said. I walked home. Then I went to Shrafts 669 00:44:46,395 --> 00:44:49,355 Speaker 1: for dinner. Afterward, I walked home again. I went to 670 00:44:49,395 --> 00:44:51,475 Speaker 1: bed early, sir, and read a magazine for a while. 671 00:44:51,515 --> 00:44:57,875 Speaker 1: I was asleep before eleven. Ah yes, said Mr Fittweiler. Again. 672 00:44:59,355 --> 00:45:01,795 Speaker 1: He was silent for a moment, searching for the proper 673 00:45:01,835 --> 00:45:03,835 Speaker 1: words to say to the head of the filing department, 674 00:45:04,755 --> 00:45:11,195 Speaker 1: Mrs Barrows. He said, finally, Mrs Barrows has worked hard, Martin, 675 00:45:12,275 --> 00:45:15,315 Speaker 1: very hard. It ringused me to report that she has 676 00:45:15,315 --> 00:45:18,315 Speaker 1: suffered a severe breakdown. It has taken the form of 677 00:45:18,315 --> 00:45:26,315 Speaker 1: a persecution complex accompanied by distressing hallucinations. I'm very sorry, sir, 678 00:45:26,835 --> 00:45:31,915 Speaker 1: said Mr Martin. Mrs Barrows is under the delusion, continued 679 00:45:32,035 --> 00:45:36,915 Speaker 1: Mr Fittweiler, that you visited her last evening and behaved 680 00:45:36,915 --> 00:45:41,875 Speaker 1: yourself in a an unseemly matter. He raised his hand 681 00:45:41,915 --> 00:45:45,195 Speaker 1: to silence Mr Martin's little, pained outcry. It is the 682 00:45:45,275 --> 00:45:49,875 Speaker 1: nature of these psychological diseases, Mr Fittweiler said, to fix 683 00:45:49,995 --> 00:45:54,355 Speaker 1: upon the least likely and most innocent party as the 684 00:45:54,395 --> 00:45:58,315 Speaker 1: source of persecution. These matters are not for the lay 685 00:45:58,355 --> 00:46:02,355 Speaker 1: mind to grasp, Martin. I've just had my psychiatrist, Dr 686 00:46:02,355 --> 00:46:04,635 Speaker 1: Fitch on the phone. UH. He would not, of course 687 00:46:04,875 --> 00:46:10,155 Speaker 1: commit himself, but he made enough generalizations to substantiate my suspicions. 688 00:46:10,995 --> 00:46:14,875 Speaker 1: I suggested to Mrs Barrows, when she had completed her 689 00:46:15,915 --> 00:46:20,355 Speaker 1: UH story to me this morning, that she visit Dr 690 00:46:20,435 --> 00:46:24,755 Speaker 1: Fitch before I suspected a condition to watch. She flew, 691 00:46:24,875 --> 00:46:29,515 Speaker 1: I regret to say, into a rage and demanded requested 692 00:46:30,115 --> 00:46:34,235 Speaker 1: that I call you on the carpet. You may not know, Martin, 693 00:46:34,315 --> 00:46:38,355 Speaker 1: but Mrs Barrows had planned a reorganization of your department, 694 00:46:38,675 --> 00:46:41,475 Speaker 1: subject to my approval. Of course, subject to my approval, 695 00:46:41,995 --> 00:46:44,915 Speaker 1: this brought you, rather than anyone else to her mind. 696 00:46:44,955 --> 00:46:48,355 Speaker 1: But again that is a phenomenon for Dr Fitch and 697 00:46:48,675 --> 00:46:54,355 Speaker 1: not for us. So Martin, I'm afraid Mrs Barrow's usefulness 698 00:46:54,395 --> 00:47:00,035 Speaker 1: here is at an end. I'm dreadfully sorry, sir, said 699 00:47:00,115 --> 00:47:04,235 Speaker 1: Mr Martin. It was at this point that the door 700 00:47:04,275 --> 00:47:06,795 Speaker 1: to the office blew open with the suddenness of a 701 00:47:06,915 --> 00:47:11,515 Speaker 1: gas main explosion, and Mrs Barrows catapulted through. It is 702 00:47:11,555 --> 00:47:14,715 Speaker 1: the little rat denying it, she screamed. He can't get 703 00:47:14,755 --> 00:47:18,715 Speaker 1: away with that. Mr Martin got up and moved discreetly 704 00:47:18,715 --> 00:47:22,475 Speaker 1: to a point beside Mr Fittweiler's chair. You drank and 705 00:47:22,595 --> 00:47:25,675 Speaker 1: smoked at my apartment, she bawled at Mr Martin, And 706 00:47:25,755 --> 00:47:28,275 Speaker 1: you know it. You called Mr Fittwiler an old wind 707 00:47:28,315 --> 00:47:30,595 Speaker 1: bag and said you were gonna blow them up when 708 00:47:30,595 --> 00:47:35,235 Speaker 1: you got coked to your gills on your heroine. She 709 00:47:35,315 --> 00:47:37,755 Speaker 1: stopped yelling to catch her breath, and a new glint 710 00:47:37,875 --> 00:47:41,475 Speaker 1: came into her popping eyes. If you weren't set to drab, 711 00:47:41,755 --> 00:47:46,595 Speaker 1: ordinary little man, she said, I'd think you'd planned it all, 712 00:47:47,155 --> 00:47:49,875 Speaker 1: sticking your tongue out, saying you were sitting in the 713 00:47:49,995 --> 00:47:53,395 Speaker 1: cat buried seat because you thought no one would believe 714 00:47:53,435 --> 00:47:58,275 Speaker 1: me when I told it. My god, it's really too perfect. 715 00:47:59,275 --> 00:48:02,675 Speaker 1: She brayed loudly and hysterically, and the fury was on 716 00:48:02,715 --> 00:48:06,155 Speaker 1: her again. She glared at Mr Fittwiler. Can't you see 717 00:48:06,195 --> 00:48:09,675 Speaker 1: how he has checked as you all fool? Can't you 718 00:48:09,715 --> 00:48:14,395 Speaker 1: see his little game? But Mr Fittweiler had been surreptitiously 719 00:48:14,475 --> 00:48:17,235 Speaker 1: pressing all the buttons under the top of his desk, 720 00:48:17,515 --> 00:48:20,395 Speaker 1: and employees of F and S began pouring into the room. 721 00:48:20,755 --> 00:48:24,675 Speaker 1: Stockton said, Mrs Pittweiler, you and fish bind will take 722 00:48:24,755 --> 00:48:27,595 Speaker 1: Mrs Barrows to her home. Mrs Powell, you will go 723 00:48:27,675 --> 00:48:30,555 Speaker 1: with them. Stockton, who had played a little football in 724 00:48:30,635 --> 00:48:34,115 Speaker 1: high school, blocked Mrs Barrows as she made for Mr Martin. 725 00:48:34,555 --> 00:48:37,395 Speaker 1: It took him and fish Mind together to force her 726 00:48:37,435 --> 00:48:40,675 Speaker 1: out of the door into the hall crowded with stenographers 727 00:48:40,675 --> 00:48:44,795 Speaker 1: and office boys. She was still screaming imprecations at Mr Martin, 728 00:48:45,155 --> 00:48:50,875 Speaker 1: tangled and contradictory imprecations. The hubbub finally died out down 729 00:48:50,915 --> 00:48:56,195 Speaker 1: the corridor. I regret that this has happened, said Mr Fittweiler. 730 00:48:56,795 --> 00:49:01,915 Speaker 1: I shall ask you to dismiss it from your mind. Martin. Yes, sir, 731 00:49:02,395 --> 00:49:05,995 Speaker 1: said Mr Martin, anticipating his chiefs that will be all 732 00:49:07,155 --> 00:49:12,715 Speaker 1: by moving to the door, I will dismiss it. He 733 00:49:12,755 --> 00:49:15,955 Speaker 1: went out and shut the door, and his step was 734 00:49:16,075 --> 00:49:20,235 Speaker 1: light and quick in the hall. When he entered his department, 735 00:49:20,235 --> 00:49:22,995 Speaker 1: he had slowed down to his customary gate, and he 736 00:49:23,035 --> 00:49:28,275 Speaker 1: walked quietly across the room to the double twenty file, 737 00:49:29,435 --> 00:49:36,275 Speaker 1: wearing a look of studious concentration. From the Thurber connorable 738 00:49:36,675 --> 00:49:46,955 Speaker 1: The Catbird Seat by James Thurber, I've done all the 739 00:49:46,995 --> 00:49:49,195 Speaker 1: damage I can do here. If you don't believe me, 740 00:49:49,555 --> 00:49:53,675 Speaker 1: ask elon Musk. Thank you for listening, at least for now. 741 00:49:53,715 --> 00:49:56,995 Speaker 1: My ability to promote this through Twitter is or to combat, 742 00:49:57,315 --> 00:50:00,835 Speaker 1: as the French say, so I am not being egotistical 743 00:50:00,875 --> 00:50:04,915 Speaker 1: this time. Get somebody new to subscribe, if you would 744 00:50:04,955 --> 00:50:08,275 Speaker 1: be so kind. Here are the credits. Most of the music, 745 00:50:08,315 --> 00:50:11,035 Speaker 1: including our theme from Beethoven's Ninth Theory, was arranged, produced, 746 00:50:11,075 --> 00:50:14,035 Speaker 1: and performed by Brian Ray and John Philip Chanelle, who 747 00:50:14,035 --> 00:50:17,675 Speaker 1: are the Countdown musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards by 748 00:50:17,715 --> 00:50:20,915 Speaker 1: John Philip Shanelle. Guitars based on drums by Brian Ray, 749 00:50:21,035 --> 00:50:24,475 Speaker 1: produced by t k O Brothers. Other Beethoven selections have 750 00:50:24,515 --> 00:50:28,235 Speaker 1: been arranged and performed by No horns allowed. The sports 751 00:50:28,315 --> 00:50:31,195 Speaker 1: music is the Oberman theme from ESPN two, and it 752 00:50:31,235 --> 00:50:34,115 Speaker 1: was written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN Inc. 753 00:50:34,595 --> 00:50:37,995 Speaker 1: Musical comments from Nancy Faust, the best baseball stadium organist ever. 754 00:50:38,355 --> 00:50:43,235 Speaker 1: Our announcers today were everybody. Everything else, though, was pretty 755 00:50:43,275 --> 00:50:45,755 Speaker 1: much my fault. So that's countdown for this the seven 756 00:50:46,315 --> 00:50:49,275 Speaker 1: tenth day since Donald Trump's first attempted to against the 757 00:50:49,315 --> 00:50:53,715 Speaker 1: democratically elected government of the United States. That's Donald Trump. 758 00:50:54,155 --> 00:50:57,715 Speaker 1: He and I were both suspended by Twitter arrest Trump now, 759 00:50:57,795 --> 00:51:02,875 Speaker 1: while we still can mare countdown Monday bulletin's as warranted 760 00:51:03,155 --> 00:51:06,435 Speaker 1: till then on Keith Overman, Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, 761 00:51:06,475 --> 00:51:17,915 Speaker 1: and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production 762 00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:21,715 Speaker 1: of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, 763 00:51:21,915 --> 00:51:25,435 Speaker 1: visit the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 764 00:51:25,515 --> 00:51:26,835 Speaker 1: you get your podcasts.