1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:07,760 Speaker 1: Hi, Welcome back to the Carol mark Wood Show on iHeartRadio. 2 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 1: I got two similar emails from listeners, so I wanted 3 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 1: to get into what they were asking. It was about 4 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,799 Speaker 1: strife with family, and I'm going to read them to you. 5 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:24,079 Speaker 1: The first one says, quote, Carol, you talk about fighting 6 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:26,800 Speaker 1: with your family over politics. I was a Republican my 7 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: whole life and had two Democrat parents. They always thought 8 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: my politics were funny. They referred to me as Michael 9 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: p Heaton and we never argued. That changed in twenty 10 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:41,240 Speaker 1: sixteen with Donald Trump. Ever since then, politics became central 11 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: to their lives and they pick fights with me all 12 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 1: the time. They used to be fairly against illegal immigration, 13 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,840 Speaker 1: and now they're basically for it because Donald Trump doesn't 14 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 1: like it. We haven't spoken much since the November election, 15 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: and I can feel that they are so angry with me. 16 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: It really hurts to lose my parents. I'm an only 17 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 1: child and not yet married, so I feel very alone. 18 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: You talk about not cutting people off over politics, but 19 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,759 Speaker 1: they barely speak to me, and a formal cutting off 20 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:11,400 Speaker 1: wouldn't really change much except maybe give me closure. End quote. 21 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:13,120 Speaker 1: The second email is a. 22 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 2: Little bit more vague. 23 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 1: They write quote. Hello, enjoy your show and insight very much. 24 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,960 Speaker 1: I'd like to ask a question about family betrayal. How 25 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: do you get over being betrayed by family and friends 26 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: you had no idea, that never cared about you. Thank 27 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: you end quote. It's so painful to hear stories of 28 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: family strife like this. When I was on book tour 29 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: for Stolen Youth, people would come up to me barely 30 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 1: frequently and cry about their families falling out with them 31 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: over politics. The truth is it was almost always, i 32 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 1: think actually one hundred percent of the time a parent 33 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: who had a child move sharply to the left and 34 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 1: feel that they couldn't live with their parents feeling a 35 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: different way. So to the first emailer, I would say, 36 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: try again with your parents. They're being incredibly childish and 37 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 1: maybe you need to be the parent here. I would 38 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:08,800 Speaker 1: say to them that you don't like how they treat 39 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: you and that you won't stand for it anymore. But 40 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: remind them that politics is a means of making the 41 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: world better, or it should be. Everyone thinks they're doing 42 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 1: good and making the world a better place. They have 43 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 1: to be able to see that in you. It seems 44 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,920 Speaker 1: like you do see it in them, even if they 45 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: are being irrational right now. If this doesn't work, then 46 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,919 Speaker 1: a break from trying might be the path. Don't make 47 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: a formal declaration of cutting them off, just pull away 48 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: a bit too. Maybe they'll see the light and come 49 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,239 Speaker 1: back to you. To the second letter writer, it's harder 50 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 1: to gauge what went wrong here, but you sound like 51 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: you're in a lot of pain. How do you get 52 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,680 Speaker 1: over being betrayed by anyone? 53 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:51,079 Speaker 2: Really? 54 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: Time is the obvious answer. You wait and you move on. 55 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: I would also say try not to replay it in 56 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: your mind talk about it too much. You need to heal, 57 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,679 Speaker 1: and I feel like reliving it constantly stops you from 58 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 1: moving on. I wish you'd given more detail about what 59 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: went wrong, but it's bad that it's your family and 60 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 1: friends who you say betrayed you and never cared about you. 61 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,359 Speaker 1: My last piece of advice is, if you have someone 62 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: you do trust, just one person, ask them to give 63 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: you an honest assessment. If you're seeing the picture clearly, 64 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: it's the fact that it's both family and friends who 65 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: have betrayed you that kind of struck me as maybe 66 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: is it possible that you're not seeing the full picture? 67 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people think the answer to 68 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 1: family problems is just to cut them off and listen. 69 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: Sometimes it is. Sometimes there are bad people who you 70 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 1: need to get away from, even if you're related to them. 71 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 1: But that won't be because you have a difference of 72 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 1: opinion on something. And yes, if they betrayed you, if 73 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: they did something really terrible to you, then maybe that 74 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: is the cutting off moment. It sounds like that's already 75 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: happened in this case. If it's not, though, if it's 76 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 1: just arguments and things like that, maybe you can find 77 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 1: your ways back to each other. Thanks for listening. If 78 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: you think I got something wrong, or if you have 79 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,719 Speaker 1: a question of your own, email me at Carol Markowitz 80 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 1: Show at gmail dot com. I also post an anonymous 81 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:24,480 Speaker 1: form on x I'll post it today Friday, and you 82 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 1: can ask your question anonymously and I'll answer it on 83 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,119 Speaker 1: a future show coming up next and interview with Ami 84 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,080 Speaker 1: Kozak Join us after the break. 85 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 3: Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My 86 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 3: guest today is Ami Kozak. Amy is a comedian, musician, 87 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:49,279 Speaker 3: content creator, podcaster, and more recently an israel Jewish advocate. 88 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 3: He's the host of the podcast Amy's House, and his 89 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 3: band is called Distant Cousins. 90 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 2: Hi Ami. So nice to have you on. 91 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 4: Thank you for having me, Carol, pleasure to be here. 92 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 2: So what kind of music do you play at Distant Cousins. 93 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 4: Distant Cousins is what you'd call indie folk pop. You know, 94 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 4: a lot of three part harmonies, and for a long 95 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:15,039 Speaker 4: time it was pretty much in that sort of Mumford 96 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,919 Speaker 4: and Sons stompy kind of fun stuff. More recently we 97 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 4: started We just released a new album called Out of 98 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 4: the Darkness, which is sort of a homage to doing 99 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 4: actual Jewish themed music, a little more religiously themed. Each 100 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 4: of us come have like strong Jewish roots and backgrounds 101 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,720 Speaker 4: and have played in Jewish music scenes for a long time. 102 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,160 Speaker 4: The band itself was a little bit outside of that 103 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 4: for most of our time, but we all like love 104 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,599 Speaker 4: Jewish music and it's a part of us. So we 105 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 4: fell post October seventh, we were working on an album 106 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 4: and then turned our attention to putting out stuff that 107 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 4: really had a strong Jewish message and theme prayers, things 108 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 4: like that. So that's our most recent project. 109 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 3: Did you move into being more of a pro Israel 110 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 3: pro Jewish Advocate Post October seventh, was that the kind 111 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 3: of the turning point for you? 112 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 4: I mean not not in terms of personally, I always 113 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,719 Speaker 4: held the same views, but as far as yeah, using 114 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 4: my platforms to discuss such issues, yes, that was a 115 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 4: conscious choice. I never really spoke about other issues on 116 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:25,040 Speaker 4: my Instagram page before because it was primarily a place 117 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,840 Speaker 4: that I did. I used for comedy. I wasn't shy 118 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 4: about it. If I was on podcasts, I was happy 119 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 4: to discuss my opinions, But I know, I felt the 120 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 4: function of my social media presence was just strictly entertainment. 121 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,719 Speaker 4: Post October seventh, there was such a paradigm shift in 122 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 4: these sort of moral confusion taking place across the world 123 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 4: that just doing entertainment almost felt more inappropriate than adding 124 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,600 Speaker 4: commentary to the mix, because I was like, how can 125 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 4: we all just start laughing about stuff if you guys 126 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,599 Speaker 4: think it's okay for Jews to die, or some people 127 00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 4: are confused about this issue about Israel, and I felt 128 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 4: that we got to straighten some things out before, like 129 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 4: if comedy is like a reflection of a civilized society, 130 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 4: then in an uncivilized society, or I see the potential 131 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 4: for things to become uncivilized. You have to correct for that, 132 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 4: you know. 133 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 3: So I mean, have you lost followers because of this 134 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 3: or did they kind of know where you were even before. 135 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's sort of a net gain and loss. You know. 136 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 4: I probably lost anywhere from five to fifteen thousand over 137 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 4: the course of that, but I also gained a whole 138 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 4: community of people too, so I'm not really complaining. And 139 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 4: if you liked my impressions, but also, like Haramas, like work, 140 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 4: we're okay to not be affiliated, you know, right. 141 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 2: Any real life lost of friends or anything. 142 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 4: Not too much, but a couple of relationships, maybe some 143 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 4: some that stand out in particular that were Yeah, I'm 144 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 4: sure there's like collegial people who were. There's a few 145 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 4: here and there that only a few stung but not 146 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 4: for the most part, mostly support, mostly encouragement and all 147 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:10,239 Speaker 4: of that, and that's been really nice. But a few 148 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 4: people that did surprise me. And it's just part of life. 149 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 4: I guess that people will disappoint you sometimes and take 150 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 4: very confusing positions on things. And that did happen a 151 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 4: little bit, mostly supportive and a lot of love, and 152 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 4: then a few, you know, disappointments. 153 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 2: Did you always want to be a comedian? 154 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 4: You know, I'd never thought I'd actually be a comedian. 155 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,560 Speaker 4: I came from the music world. I spent most of 156 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 4: my creative life when I started. Even growing up, music 157 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 4: was like the professional craftsmanship skill I was building. Comedy 158 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 4: was just the personality. You know. Comedy existed socially amongst 159 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:54,079 Speaker 4: my friends and peers and family, and I was always 160 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 4: kind of like the funny friend and the class clown, 161 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 4: and not in a mischievous way, but like that that 162 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 4: I was certainly known to be funny. Professionally, there wasn't 163 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,679 Speaker 4: as much of a clear path to do comedy, it was. 164 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,960 Speaker 4: It was more of the outline for me through music, 165 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 4: where I was playing music in as a young teenager 166 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 4: and singing and writing and playing in bands. And then 167 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:17,599 Speaker 4: I went to the Berkeley College of Music, where I 168 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 4: studied music to become a professional composer, producer, and player. 169 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 4: And there's no like option of like the school of comedy. 170 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 4: You could major in comedy. You learn on the streets 171 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 4: a little. I don't know if that's for better or worse, 172 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 4: because there's a lot of skill in comedy writing and craft, 173 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 4: but it's just the culture of comedy doesn't isn't as 174 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 4: educational overtly. You learn it more by doing it in 175 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 4: the streets of in the trenches. But I always looked 176 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,679 Speaker 4: at comedy with like this distant like, huh, it's like 177 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 4: this child I was neglecting because I had these skills 178 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 4: of impressions and comedic ideas. But when you're in the 179 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 4: entertainment business, you're kind of like the different paths are related, 180 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 4: but they don't usually intersect. You know, even within music itself, 181 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 4: are you writing for TV? Are you writing further artistually 182 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 4: writing original music? And so there wasn't really an avenue 183 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:10,559 Speaker 4: or space to like nurture the comedy until social media. 184 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 4: I started taking to TikTok and Instagram and YouTube and 185 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:17,439 Speaker 4: using that as an outlet to put out and express 186 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 4: my comedic ideas and was able to build up a 187 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 4: audience around the comedy and then began to perform. And 188 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 4: you stand up about five years ago or so, having 189 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 4: performing as a musician for a long time, but then 190 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 4: go opening up the comedy lane and that it sort 191 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 4: of pulled me in, you know, the universal healthland. 192 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,960 Speaker 3: I think it's better to learn it on the streets. Actually, 193 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,440 Speaker 3: because I didn't go to school for writing, but I 194 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 3: became a writer, and I you know, I've been fairly 195 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 3: successful at it. And would you do music school again? 196 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,079 Speaker 3: My college boyfriend went to Berkeley. I went to Northeastern, 197 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,640 Speaker 3: so I was also in Boston. I don't know that 198 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 3: many like people who went to music college that would 199 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 3: do it again. 200 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, because you learn doing right. It's one of those 201 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 2: things like comedy. 202 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 3: No. 203 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 4: I agree that most of the stuff I've learned is 204 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 4: in the streets of like the trenches of actually doing 205 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,679 Speaker 4: it and working. That's just true of I think probably 206 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 4: any field Berkeley probably could have been half as long, 207 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 4: you know, like it's when you try to curriculumize things, 208 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 4: especially in the creative world, which I think you develop 209 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:29,079 Speaker 4: by doing than sitting learning about doing is not really 210 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:32,560 Speaker 4: going to do it. But there's you know, being Having 211 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 4: the Berkeley alumni community was helpful in those early days. 212 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 4: I don't want to discount that. And also having certain 213 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 4: skills that I learned at Berkeley we probably could have 214 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 4: learned in other places. But you build a nice foundation 215 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 4: of things, and I find that I'm in positions now 216 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 4: where better to have it and not need it than 217 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 4: need it and not have it where I've built up 218 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,959 Speaker 4: a foundation of skills that was probably in like those 219 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 4: first two years of Berkeley helpful at a certain point. Though, Yes, 220 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,599 Speaker 4: like you, you do get to this place of like 221 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,839 Speaker 4: how much time can we spend talking about music and 222 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 4: creating versus creating and so it can be sluggish in 223 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 4: that sense, and that's the it's hard to say doing 224 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 4: it again or not doing it because you don't know 225 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,440 Speaker 4: what you don't know and what you would have had 226 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 4: or not had. But yeah, you also have to de 227 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 4: educate yourself coming out of schools where you like try 228 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 4: to show off your education and your work and you 229 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 4: kind of lose touch with what like a sensibility. You know. 230 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 4: I'm grateful for the opportunity and the being able to 231 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 4: like having not have it to like be doing another 232 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,679 Speaker 4: major while trying to pursue passionate you know, so at 233 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,679 Speaker 4: least it was there for that. But you know, it 234 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,959 Speaker 4: is true, Will I will agree that most of the 235 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 4: skills and craft get built on top of or post 236 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 4: the formal education. 237 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm trying to picture how a comedy college would 238 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 3: teach you how to do, you know, impressions of doctor 239 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,080 Speaker 3: Becky and. 240 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:56,319 Speaker 4: I wouldn't really do that, but I would say that 241 00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 4: good stand up and most good comedy timing is writing 242 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:04,680 Speaker 4: is good writing, and writing is really something a skill 243 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 4: to be developed, and you know, there's workshops and things 244 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 4: like that. You know the best thing through this. I 245 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,679 Speaker 4: don't know if there's any other way but by doing it. 246 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:16,599 Speaker 4: But there's technique and all this kind of stuff that 247 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,319 Speaker 4: you learn when you get into the comedy space and 248 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 4: meeting other comedians and you read about some of their 249 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 4: ideas and things. It's a very technical craft to it, 250 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 4: no matter what style or skills you're offering, whether it's 251 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 4: impressions or icing on the cake, like learning how to 252 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,680 Speaker 4: craft real jokes and real material is is that element 253 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 4: of it that I think people don't realize, and it's 254 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 4: sort of spoken and unspoken in the comedy world, Like 255 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 4: good stand up is Seinfeldt is good writing. You think 256 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 4: someone's up there just riffing and being funny, but when 257 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 4: you're really writing and focusing on that, that's what makes 258 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:57,840 Speaker 4: your material pretty fool proof and resilient in the performance space. 259 00:13:58,280 --> 00:13:58,959 Speaker 2: Yeah, you could tell. 260 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 3: I think with better commute, the turn of phrase really matters, 261 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 3: the language they use, the words, who is your favorite 262 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 3: person to impersonate? 263 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,959 Speaker 4: Oh? I get asked this a lot. I don't know, 264 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 4: you know, I've had Uh. I'm grateful to the Gary 265 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 4: Vees and the Jordan Peterson's and the donald and all 266 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 4: the all the material they've given me to work with. 267 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,720 Speaker 4: So I leave it to the fans usually to decide 268 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 4: what their favorite people like the Dave Ramsey's. I like 269 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 4: some of the women, like doctor Becky and Kamala because 270 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 4: it's always a nice stretch to try to take on 271 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 4: those challenges and I think it's fun. 272 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 3: The Doctor Becky one almost doesn't fit with the other ones, 273 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 3: like they're all sorts of I guess. Dave Ramsey's also 274 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,600 Speaker 3: not a political guy, but you just find her interesting, 275 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,400 Speaker 3: right it comes through that you think that she's like 276 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 3: you amusing. 277 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 4: Sure, yeah, I mean she's a fan the the the 278 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:57,360 Speaker 4: other U. It's you know, it's all like what the 279 00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 4: Ola Carte algorithm feeds me, and that's that's what's my world. 280 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 4: So I am I'm a little I'm a comedian, I'm 281 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,920 Speaker 4: politically engaged. I know a lot about the the you know, 282 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 4: the intellectual dark web world. And I'm also a father, 283 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:15,280 Speaker 4: so like the parenting stuff comes my way. I do 284 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,600 Speaker 4: take a lot of aim at like the guru culture 285 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 4: of the online space that's a fun place to play, 286 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 4: of the Tony Robbins, and just the advice culture that 287 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 4: is podcasting and everyone's got the most best way to 288 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 4: optimize your life. There's a lot of fun there with 289 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 4: the Simon sin X and the Gary vs. The Dave Ramsey's, 290 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 4: the people. You know, there's fun to be had in 291 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 4: all those places where everyone's giving their take constantly on 292 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 4: different things. So I like to parody that world a 293 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 4: lot because it's just it tickles my fancy, my brain. 294 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 3: So you have four kids. I the first comment I 295 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 3: ever left on your page. I mean I'd been following 296 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 3: you for a while, but you mentioned you had four kids, 297 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 3: and I was like, you look like you're quite young 298 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 3: to have four children. 299 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 2: Did you get started as a teenager. 300 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 4: I'm still a teenager, so I've been kind of irresponsible. 301 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:06,480 Speaker 4: But what was the question? Did I get started as No? No, 302 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,040 Speaker 4: you just kind of stay consistent. I think I started 303 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 4: in mid twenties, like twenty seven, twenty seven, and every 304 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:17,080 Speaker 4: two years had that regimen. Yeah, you can get it 305 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 4: done efficiently, not not crazy. But I like them all 306 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 4: batched in the trenches because then like you know, you 307 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 4: get it, you get it all kind of over it, 308 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 4: you could say in a way, in a way, yeah, 309 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 4: I'll miss that time. It's such a good time. But 310 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 4: you know, it's nice when they're close to when they're 311 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 4: a clan of a close of a close tribe of 312 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,800 Speaker 4: age group, it's it's nice. 313 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 5: And the reason your child is throwing a tantrum those 314 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 5: are old feelings. Then my child stabbed me with a 315 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 5: butter knife. I said, hey, is there a better way 316 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 5: we could have done that? As mommy's bleeding out from. 317 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 4: The next Yeah, do you do that? 318 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 2: Gentle parenting? 319 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 4: Gentle parenting? 320 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 2: Isn't that what it's called? 321 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 4: That? 322 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 2: Just the why did you stab me in the neck? Parenting? 323 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:09,440 Speaker 4: The gentle parenting? Right. I was raised by boomers, so like, 324 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,440 Speaker 4: I guess I balance it. I think it's worth making 325 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 4: fun of because it's fun. But I do think some 326 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 4: of that does really work. You do, like sympathizing with 327 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 4: a kid and just saying and like the things of 328 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 4: like yeah, I know that, like not having to challenge 329 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,399 Speaker 4: everything a kid says unless it's like overtly disrespectful, but 330 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 4: just understanding that kids just want to be heard and understood, 331 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 4: and when you do that, it tends to you know, 332 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 4: disarm and like de escalate very quickly. That stuff's true 333 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:43,120 Speaker 4: from what I've seen. 334 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was born in Russia. I don't think so. 335 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, it depends on what they're doing, you know, if 336 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 4: I get at the right like firm, it depends on 337 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:54,879 Speaker 4: like what the behaviors are. 338 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 3: Like. 339 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 4: I don't think there's a I don't think it's mutual exclusive. 340 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,639 Speaker 4: I don't know what the gentle parenting. You have to 341 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 4: be specific as to what you're saying, because I think 342 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:06,600 Speaker 4: that there's you cannot tolerate certain things and still have 343 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 4: your standards while de escalating and listening to a child. 344 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,680 Speaker 4: You know, like there's behavioral thresholds they can't cross, there's 345 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,440 Speaker 4: things they can't say, and you can say that you 346 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 4: can't say that without in different ways, you know, and 347 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 4: then sometimes you just lose it and pull out the 348 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 4: old stops and you grab a kid and say, Okay, 349 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 4: that's it, you're going to be here. Now, you're going 350 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,680 Speaker 4: to be on you know, and you assert. I think 351 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 4: having a little bit of fear in trepidation of parents 352 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:35,200 Speaker 4: in some way, there's an element of respecting those boundaries 353 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,920 Speaker 4: and of authority, Like I don't think that that. I 354 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 4: think there's a generation of parents who have mistakenly lost 355 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:45,439 Speaker 4: that the sort of fu mom culture kind of thing 356 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 4: is a problem. So I mean, I see both sides 357 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,120 Speaker 4: of it, but I think there's value to be gained 358 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:54,399 Speaker 4: from different I think parents taking out their own stress 359 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,440 Speaker 4: on their kids, like being short tempered with their kids 360 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 4: because their stress is valid. And I try to catch myself, like, 361 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 4: is the reason I'm rushing this bet time? Or that 362 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,199 Speaker 4: is because I have to go do something, or it's 363 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 4: because like this is the best way to do it, 364 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 4: and they have to you know what I mean, Like 365 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 4: what's really motivating my stress here? And you know, having 366 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,159 Speaker 4: standards and not tolerating certain things is valid, and I 367 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:18,000 Speaker 4: enforce that, but also trying to understand why kids acting 368 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:21,119 Speaker 4: a certain way, and like I'm just interested in getting 369 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,000 Speaker 4: past that. And it's hard when your egos involved and 370 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,640 Speaker 4: you feel like you're being either maybe disrespected or something 371 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,879 Speaker 4: and the kid's melting down. But you have to be 372 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,680 Speaker 4: like I'm emotionally mature, so I don't have to go 373 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 4: like crazy here. I can be like huh. 374 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 3: You know, but a lot of parents are being disrespected. 375 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,360 Speaker 3: I mean, not to go too deep into the whole 376 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 3: parenting thing, but I see a lot. I get a 377 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,160 Speaker 3: lot like my kids are, you know, thankfully, very pretty 378 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,879 Speaker 3: well behaved, and I get a lot of like, how 379 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,119 Speaker 3: do you, you know, discipline them? 380 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 2: But it's a lot of like with my eyes. I 381 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,879 Speaker 2: disciplined them with my face is really the answer here. 382 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 3: And I don't think a lot of parents are kind 383 00:19:57,119 --> 00:20:00,400 Speaker 3: of enforcing that, you know, deadly eye threat anymore. 384 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure, the mom, that's it, just that's all 385 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 4: you need really have that. 386 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,400 Speaker 2: For the audio listeners who's giving a hard look, Yeah. 387 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,399 Speaker 4: Like you know, you may if you could do it 388 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,960 Speaker 4: with just a gaze. Yes, they've lost a lot of that. 389 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 4: I do think so. But I think that you can 390 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 4: also risk if you just like kind of don't have 391 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:25,119 Speaker 4: a consistency or principle and just kind of lose it 392 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,400 Speaker 4: here and there and just try pure like wrath. Yeah 393 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,119 Speaker 4: you might. You might might work while they're children, and 394 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,960 Speaker 4: then it won't work at all when they're older. People. 395 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 4: You want to build people, I think you're trying to 396 00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:40,240 Speaker 4: build people who like respect a certain measure of authority, 397 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 4: but also kind of can understand and work out their 398 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 4: feelings and work out what's going on internally so that 399 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 4: they can you know, it's it's very hard, but yeah, 400 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,159 Speaker 4: gentle parenting like trying to trying to like ask like 401 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,639 Speaker 4: permission about every little thing. You know, it all can 402 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,360 Speaker 4: go too far. And I'm sure and yeah, and I don't. 403 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,920 Speaker 4: I don't subscribe to the least that you have to 404 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 4: be buddies with your children and that comes. That's the paramount. 405 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 4: That you have to be friends. They'll have friends. They 406 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,040 Speaker 4: only have two parents, so that's a different thing. 407 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,240 Speaker 2: We're going to take a quick break and be right 408 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 2: back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. What do you worry about. 409 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,720 Speaker 4: Once upon a time? Not much, because like there was 410 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 4: a normalcy bias that existed sort of up until I 411 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 4: want to say, COVID, and then once like COVID was 412 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,400 Speaker 4: a real paradigm shift for me where I like saw 413 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:39,240 Speaker 4: such a collapse of respect for civil liberties. And you 414 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 4: kind of got a glimpse in this past couple five 415 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 4: since twenty twenty of like how like you've got a 416 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 4: taste of why and an understanding of why Historically, you know, 417 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,880 Speaker 4: civilizations and societies collapse or go dark or go bad, 418 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,600 Speaker 4: and how people can turn on each other. And so 419 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 4: you saw that one with COVID and then post October 420 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,359 Speaker 4: seventh seeing how, you know, the rise of sort of 421 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:05,000 Speaker 4: the just thirst for anti Semitism that's dying to be quenched, 422 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,200 Speaker 4: which I sort of didn't really see and I didn't 423 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,680 Speaker 4: think was there in the early like first term Trump 424 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,800 Speaker 4: and Trumped arrangement that was going on saying, oh my god, 425 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 4: Nazis everyone. I'm like, yeah, maybe just those guys holding 426 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 4: tiki torches, but they're not ascended in the culture. But 427 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 4: now in this post like October seventh world, you're seeing 428 00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:26,479 Speaker 4: both the far left anti semitism that has just been 429 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,760 Speaker 4: completely you know, fuel has been poured on it, and 430 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,640 Speaker 4: we always knew it was there, but it's really out 431 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,560 Speaker 4: front and center. And then unfortunately, you get the sense 432 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:39,640 Speaker 4: of the America first isolationists, far right anti semitism that's 433 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,560 Speaker 4: playing with this idea of we're going to talk about 434 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,920 Speaker 4: you because we're such free speech warriors that we're just 435 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,880 Speaker 4: going to requestion everything like the Holocaust and start peddling 436 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 4: those nasty cartoons again. And it kind of starts in 437 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,440 Speaker 4: like the culture of like what becomes sort of acceptable 438 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,680 Speaker 4: in the norms and pushing that overton window. And to 439 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 4: see that gives you a sense that as an Orthodox 440 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 4: Jew you feel pretty alone. So feeling pretty alone is 441 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:09,480 Speaker 4: like that when push comes to shove, you know, if 442 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,040 Speaker 4: you know, there's only fifteen million Jews, and when push 443 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,120 Speaker 4: comes to shove, a lot of people are perfectly fine 444 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:18,200 Speaker 4: either supporting it, perpetuating or kind of pretending it's not there, 445 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 4: or looking the other way because they don't want to eh, 446 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,240 Speaker 4: you know, And that that's concerning in like a world 447 00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 4: like where what are the kids going to grow up 448 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:29,359 Speaker 4: in and what could what could what could happen? And 449 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 4: what allows it to happen. It's like, it's not just 450 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,200 Speaker 4: like terrorists that are going to hurt you, but like 451 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,680 Speaker 4: people who make apologies for terrorism or pretend that it's 452 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 4: not motivated by what's motivated by. 453 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, my only point of optimism on that. And I 454 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,160 Speaker 3: am obviously concerned about. 455 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 2: All the same things. 456 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,680 Speaker 3: I'm definitely more concerned about it on the left or 457 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 3: just generally in the mainstream because I lived in Brooklyn 458 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,359 Speaker 3: when the attacks began on Hasidic people in Borough Park 459 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,520 Speaker 3: and in Williamsburg, and I watched, you know, kind of 460 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,480 Speaker 3: the Jewish left. Who I was, I mean, I was 461 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,359 Speaker 3: always I was always a conservative, but I was in 462 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 3: the reform world, completely ignore it in a way that 463 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 3: they would have never done for any other group. So 464 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 3: that sort of might like the violence and the actual 465 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,399 Speaker 3: you know, real world consequences of that, but I am 466 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 3: I am growing more concerned with what you talk about, 467 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,440 Speaker 3: which is, you know, the relitigating the Second World War, 468 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,840 Speaker 3: Winston Churchill suddenly not a hero. All of that, I 469 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 3: think is you know, in the parlance, that not good 470 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 3: for Jews. But even if it has nothing to do, 471 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,000 Speaker 3: you know, even if the conversation is not about Jews, 472 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,399 Speaker 3: let's say about Winston Churchill, I still think it's not 473 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,880 Speaker 3: good for us overall. But I would say my point 474 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,399 Speaker 3: of optimism is the more I travel around America, the 475 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 3: less that really exists. 476 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:45,920 Speaker 1: I think. 477 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 3: I saw, you know, I was in rural Michigan for 478 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,720 Speaker 3: a bunch of time, and I saw you know, churches 479 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 3: with pray for Israel on the on the signs. And 480 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,560 Speaker 3: I met an uber driver who found out I was 481 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,359 Speaker 3: Jewish in South Carolina and hugged me and said she 482 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 3: praised for his every night. 483 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,399 Speaker 2: Just all kinds of really good. 484 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,479 Speaker 3: People, and there's so many good people even online kind 485 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,639 Speaker 3: of defending us. I like to be optimistic about it, 486 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 3: but you know, obviously I hear you. 487 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:14,639 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm optimistic. I just I also am now aware 488 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,640 Speaker 4: that like I was also optimistic in the first two 489 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 4: weeks of COVID right, I was like, they're not going 490 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,879 Speaker 4: to shut things down. That doesn't happen. True, I'm an 491 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,280 Speaker 4: optimist October seventh, They're not going to turn on Israel 492 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 4: when we've just witnessed like come us terrorist that is proudly, 493 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:38,680 Speaker 4: proudly like like I was optimistic in that, well, the 494 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,960 Speaker 4: people to the right of center are supportive of Israel 495 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 4: and supportive of the Jewish community. They see the difference 496 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,440 Speaker 4: from they see the difference between civilization and barbarism. But 497 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 4: then you started seeing Tucker Carlson's and you know, prominent 498 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,200 Speaker 4: media figures starting to turn and change that narrative and 499 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:58,320 Speaker 4: build huge bases of communities that are hostile. So I 500 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,720 Speaker 4: was going to say, generally, the right of center I 501 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,639 Speaker 4: always found was a at least I'm Jewish on the 502 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,680 Speaker 4: Jewish and Israel stuff. But then you start I was 503 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,680 Speaker 4: an optimist, and I'm like, so it didn't surprise me that, 504 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 4: like the college campuses and across Europe, they're marching, even 505 00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,920 Speaker 4: though you know, like the scale and to the degree 506 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,880 Speaker 4: within a day or so after October seventh, sh I've 507 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,560 Speaker 4: seen that was disturbing. But then you start to see 508 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 4: it from all these different corners and you're like, geez, 509 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 4: that's I And so I maintained my optimism that the 510 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 4: majority of people are still sensible. At the same time, 511 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,760 Speaker 4: it doesn't take a majority to turn things and collapse 512 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 4: things over. It takes a very willed, strong willed minority. 513 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 3: You know. 514 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,920 Speaker 4: I think Iran, once upon a time and still is, 515 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,720 Speaker 4: has a majority of you know, a moderate population that 516 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,920 Speaker 4: grew up in the seventies, like you know, freer and 517 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 4: we're co opted by a pretty nasty minority, but powerful 518 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 4: and committed. So it's hard. You got to keep both 519 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,040 Speaker 4: both eyes open now in a way to be on guard. 520 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:53,480 Speaker 1: For sure. 521 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,520 Speaker 2: That's one of the lessons of our history. Definitely. 522 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,199 Speaker 3: So what advice would you give to a six ten 523 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,920 Speaker 3: year old Amy, Like, what would you tell yourself. 524 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:07,960 Speaker 4: Stop fathering children out of no I It's a hard 525 00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:13,240 Speaker 4: question because you know, the sixteen year old self has 526 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 4: to be in that state to get to the thirty 527 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,320 Speaker 4: eight year old self. Like, so it's always hard to 528 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:24,800 Speaker 4: retroactively go back and say, you know, to give advice 529 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,320 Speaker 4: from the position you're in now, because it won't be 530 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 4: true in a way. Like what's true for me now 531 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,520 Speaker 4: and how I look at things and approach things has 532 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:40,680 Speaker 4: to be arrived at through a long growth process, you know, like, oh, 533 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,000 Speaker 4: don't do it this way, do it this way. It's 534 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:47,399 Speaker 4: like well, you know, like whether it's career advice or 535 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:51,480 Speaker 4: things like that, but like the focus hard work, building skills, 536 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,879 Speaker 4: you know, in terms of not complaining, don't blame other 537 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,240 Speaker 4: people for anything. You're the one who's ultimately account I 538 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:04,200 Speaker 4: mean I took to that stuff pretty quickly, and there's 539 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:10,560 Speaker 4: like really, I'm trying to think, Yeah, you know, it's 540 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,720 Speaker 4: hard because like now I'm in a place a little 541 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 4: bit more where I don't kid myself on what certain 542 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,159 Speaker 4: people are or aren't or what expectations to have about 543 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:23,080 Speaker 4: like someone's competence or ability or relying on things and 544 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:25,639 Speaker 4: not just and you're like like just being able to assess, 545 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,000 Speaker 4: you know, like you're naive when you're younger. Oh, no, no, 546 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,639 Speaker 4: because they they're developing this thing and it's going to 547 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,639 Speaker 4: be a thing. Like you know, when you're in the 548 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:38,240 Speaker 4: entertainment business, everything almost happens, and so just like keeping 549 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,600 Speaker 4: your head up. And but I did keep my head 550 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 4: up and continued like so I'm trying to think if 551 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 4: there's other anything I would tell myself other than well. 552 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 3: I like the idea of like there's nothing really to 553 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,960 Speaker 3: tell that. You know, the sixteen year old has to 554 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 3: survive and do the things wrong in order to get to. 555 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,800 Speaker 2: Where you are today. It's an answer, you know. 556 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and maybe you know, work in the summers 557 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 4: a little more. I don't know, I was, I was. 558 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,000 Speaker 4: I missed, I missed out on some of that. It 559 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 4: took I was a little not fair failure to launch, 560 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 4: but you know, trying to figure it out sixteen year 561 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,480 Speaker 4: old self, what was really stressing me of about that? 562 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 4: I mean it was hard to I couldn't even fathom 563 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 4: the idea of like the the way we're able to 564 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:33,560 Speaker 4: broadcast what we do as creators now then because you 565 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:38,280 Speaker 4: were just like right, yeah, I think I would say, like, 566 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 4: don't worry so much about labels. Don't let the labels 567 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 4: that you define as yourself like restrict you. I was 568 00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,640 Speaker 4: very into like, Okay, well I'm a bass player and 569 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,000 Speaker 4: a musician. I'm not these other things, so I need 570 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,200 Speaker 4: to like, like, the imposter syndrome is something I discovered 571 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,240 Speaker 4: as a term, but I certainly had a lot of 572 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 4: depending on what I was getting into. I just didn't 573 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,280 Speaker 4: know what that was called. Yea when someone when someone 574 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 4: find coined it and said it, I was like, that's 575 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 4: what that is. And I would say that that's normal, 576 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,520 Speaker 4: and don't let the labels of what you tell yourself 577 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,560 Speaker 4: as a creative identity or any identity that you're you know, 578 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,920 Speaker 4: in terms of stuff you're engaging in, like restrict you. 579 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:15,000 Speaker 2: It's a great term. 580 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,240 Speaker 3: I also I remember hearing it and really relating like, oh, yes, 581 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,120 Speaker 3: this is what this is what I've suffered through. 582 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 2: I don't know, I didn't know what it was at 583 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 2: the time, but it's common and it's good. It's good 584 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,200 Speaker 2: because it makes you kind of fight for what you 585 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 2: have right. 586 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:32,040 Speaker 4: And just you don't know anything about yourself. So keep 587 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 4: trying those different you know, it's important to try those 588 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,160 Speaker 4: different things without when you tell yourself I'm not of 589 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,680 Speaker 4: this or I'm not of that that's really what you 590 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 4: think other people might say about you if you try something. 591 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, well, I love this conversation. 592 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:49,280 Speaker 3: This has been really great, And here with your best 593 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:51,480 Speaker 3: tip for my listeners on how they can. 594 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:52,240 Speaker 2: Improve their lives. 595 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,400 Speaker 4: Sure, I think, you know, I mean I feel tesked 596 00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 4: with such a responsibility. You know, it's like your Peterson question, 597 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 4: how you can improve clean your bloody room. 598 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:05,560 Speaker 5: But besides that, you know, I would. 599 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:11,880 Speaker 4: Say, in all seriousness, like the richness and improvement in 600 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,200 Speaker 4: life comes first and foremost from the fundamental important things. 601 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:16,480 Speaker 4: Jordan Peterson says. 602 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 5: Life isn't Marguerite's on the beach, you know, it's how 603 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:20,800 Speaker 5: your wife greets you at the door. 604 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,880 Speaker 4: You know, like the day to day, every day finding 605 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 4: fulfillment in that in the mundane is I think more 606 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:33,920 Speaker 4: of a better recipe for real success than focusing on 607 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 4: vanity metrics and random goals and accomplishments and hitting those marks, 608 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,440 Speaker 4: Because if you don't enjoy the process along the way, 609 00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,680 Speaker 4: you're not really winning. Even if you hit particular goal, 610 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 4: it'll always underwhelm you, surprise, you feel surreal when you 611 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 4: perceive certain things as markers of success. When I think 612 00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:53,360 Speaker 4: the real fundamental stuff is the relationships you form, you know, 613 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:57,360 Speaker 4: picking the right partner in life, the right spouse, focusing 614 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:01,560 Speaker 4: on family, building a family around you. Like, those are things, 615 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,040 Speaker 4: at least for me. Like at the end of the day, 616 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 4: you could lose all the other stuff, but you could 617 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:10,360 Speaker 4: move on, but you couldn't lose the relationships and the 618 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 4: people and the family and the children and things like that. 619 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 4: I don't have illusions about the hierarchy of values. I 620 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:21,120 Speaker 4: value all the professional stuff obviously and want it and 621 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:24,000 Speaker 4: want to build it and build the empire. But also 622 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,440 Speaker 4: beneath all that, I know that at the end of 623 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:28,840 Speaker 4: the day, like who you come home to and what's 624 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:32,440 Speaker 4: around you in an interpersonal sense, is where the real 625 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 4: foundation of a successful life is. 626 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:37,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, that matters the most. 627 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,400 Speaker 4: I mean, of course, you know, because yeah, like even 628 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,560 Speaker 4: having a great and important career and stuff for life 629 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,720 Speaker 4: gets long after fifty and sixty and all that will 630 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,280 Speaker 4: could dissipate and go away, but the other stuff can 631 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 4: only deepen hopefully if you work. You're right. 632 00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:54,560 Speaker 3: I love it, he is Ami Kozak. Check out AMI's house, 633 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,040 Speaker 3: follow him on all the socials. 634 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,680 Speaker 2: Check out his band Distant Cousins. Thank you so much, 635 00:32:58,720 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 2: Amy for coming. 636 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 1: On, Thanks so much for joining us on The Carol 637 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,680 Speaker 1: Markowitz Show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.