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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com.

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Speaker 1: All you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: We could be reading your letter live on the air,

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Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right here,

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Speaker 1: right now, and you never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 1: You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We

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Speaker 1: got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter,

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Speaker 1: subject a game of cat and mouse every night. Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, my husband and I got married two months

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Speaker 1: ago and I haven't been getting any sleep. I need

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Speaker 1: your help on how to get my husband to calm down.

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Speaker 1: I married a very religious man and he wanted to

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Speaker 1: be a pastor, but changed his mind about a year ago.

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Speaker 1: Because of that, he already thinks he is one. He

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Speaker 1: insisted we wait until marriage to have sex, so we

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Speaker 1: did kind of. We pooled around once just to see

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Speaker 1: if we were compatible, and it was great. So I

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Speaker 1: was excited for a married life with him. As soon

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Speaker 1: as I said I do, he was ready for some action.

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Speaker 1: We had sex between the wedding and our reception while

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Speaker 1: I was trying to change into my second dress. I

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Speaker 1: was not even in the mood, but he started quoting

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Speaker 1: scripture about how a woman is supposed to treat her man.

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Speaker 1: I tried to stay at our reception as long as

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Speaker 1: I could because he kept whispering to me all that

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Speaker 1: he was going to do to me that night. I

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Speaker 1: was too tired for all of that, and he didn't care.

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Speaker 1: We have had so much sex since that night, and

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Speaker 1: I have to run, hide and make up excuses to

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Speaker 1: get a break from pleasing him. Don't get me wrong,

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Speaker 1: it's fantastic, but too much of a good thing is

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Speaker 1: a problem. He likes the game of cat and mouse

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Speaker 1: and capturing me all over the house. I suggested we

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Speaker 1: try sex at lunchtime, and he said it will make

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Speaker 1: him too tired to finish his day In the mornings.

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Speaker 1: He said he has to prepare mentally for his day,

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Speaker 1: so sex won't work. He only wants to have sex

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Speaker 1: at night, all night, like three times a night. I

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Speaker 1: sat him down and set him down and told him

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Speaker 1: we have to compromise, and he looked so defeated that

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Speaker 1: I felt bad for him. We're both thirty, and my

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Speaker 1: aunt said he will settle down soon. At what age

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Speaker 1: does a man settle into a sensible sex schedule? How

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Speaker 1: do I handle this? Well? I would think a sensible

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Speaker 1: sex schedule would be one that you guys, you know,

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Speaker 1: to use your word compromised about, And right now that's

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Speaker 1: not happening. You know, maybe as he gets older forties, fifties,

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Speaker 1: maybe he'll slow down. Then he wanted to be a pastor,

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Speaker 1: you said, but he changed his mind. I really don't

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Speaker 1: think that's how that works. When you have a call

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Speaker 1: in your life to be a pastor but you have

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Speaker 1: other problems. You're trying to get him off you. That's

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Speaker 1: what you're trying to do. And this is something because

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Speaker 1: if you're complaining this soon into the marriage, it's only

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Speaker 1: been two months, okay, you're newly was that's what you're

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Speaker 1: supposed to be doing. You're supposed to be doing it,

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Speaker 1: doing it a lot, Okay, Then later on, like your

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Speaker 1: aunt said, it slows down. But this is your issue.

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Speaker 1: It's important to you. You're right. Sometimes too much of

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Speaker 1: a good thing, is, you know, too much? It can

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Speaker 1: be your husband has lived a sheltered lifestyle trying to

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Speaker 1: be a pastor and all that, and he's trying to

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Speaker 1: get it in as much as he can without any

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Speaker 1: regard to your feelings. It's all his way or no way.

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Speaker 1: He even quotes the Bible to get you to try

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Speaker 1: and guilt you into having sex with him. He could compromise,

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Speaker 1: like you say, with you do some morning, some lunchtime,

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Speaker 1: some afternoons. But no, he says, that doesn't work for him.

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Speaker 1: But what about you? You know? And then nighttime you

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Speaker 1: know is good of course, but not all night. You

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Speaker 1: got to go to sleep at some point. Again, your

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Speaker 1: man needs to learn and understand the meaning of the

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Speaker 1: word again, compromise if you guys are going to be

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Speaker 1: happy in this marriage. And that's the thing. You guys

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Speaker 1: have years to be together, God willing, So what is

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Speaker 1: the rush? Slow it down just a little bit, that's

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Speaker 1: all you're asking. This is not a race, it's a marriage.

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Speaker 1: So after this honeymoon period, you can start to pace

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Speaker 1: yourself because you're gonna have to get some sleep at

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Speaker 1: some point. And he needs to know that just because

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Speaker 1: you're his wife and you're there, you know, that doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean that, you know, he gets to pounce on you

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Speaker 1: whenever whatever however he wants to. It's not just about him.

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Speaker 1: This is about you too, Steve. I have answers to

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Speaker 1: all these questions this woman has. And before we get

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Speaker 1: to him, let's go through some parts of the letter

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Speaker 1: that I found to be all interesting. A game of

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Speaker 1: cat and mouse every night, that's the name of subject.

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Speaker 1: Every night. We gonna do this every night. Now, she'd

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Speaker 1: been married to the husband for two months and she's

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Speaker 1: been getting no sleep, and she needs some help on

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Speaker 1: how to get her husband to calm down. She said,

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Speaker 1: I married a very religious man that he wanted to

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Speaker 1: be a pastor, but changed his mind by the year ago. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know you could do that. I didn't know

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Speaker 1: you could take your call and then just go. I

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Speaker 1: ain't even to do that. Well, I guess you could

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Speaker 1: not answered the call, but I guess you change your mind.

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Speaker 1: Y'all headed for some for some more rocket roles. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna just tell you that since he's a very religious man,

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Speaker 1: because of that, he already thinks he's won. So he

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Speaker 1: insisted that y'all waiting to marriage before y'all had sex,

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Speaker 1: And you did that kind of but your food around

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Speaker 1: one time. Make sure y'all was compatible. You know that happens,

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Speaker 1: that's life, and it was great. Okay, So you was

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Speaker 1: excited to have a married life with him. But as

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Speaker 1: soon as you said I do, homeboy was ready for action.

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Speaker 1: So right after the wed before the honeymoon, when you

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Speaker 1: was changing dresses for your reception, here he come. Oh,

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Speaker 1: boy was ready. And then you was trying to go

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Speaker 1: when I'm standing and go into your second dress, and

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Speaker 1: you weren't even in the mood, but he started quoting

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Speaker 1: scriptures about how a woman is supposed to treat her man.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna stop right there because I have several questions

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Speaker 1: at this point about this letter. All right, Steve, we'll

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Speaker 1: have part two of your response coming up at twenty

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Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour. Today's subject a game of

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Speaker 1: captain mouse every night. We'll get back into it right

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Speaker 1: after this. You're listening show, All right, Come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's strawberry letter. Finish up your respon the

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Speaker 1: subject is a game of cat and mouse every night. Well,

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Speaker 1: this woman and married this religious man who was called

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Speaker 1: to be a preacher, but a year ago he decided

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Speaker 1: he wasn't gonna do that because he wanted to live

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Speaker 1: a more Obviously, different lifestyle than pastor and would require

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Speaker 1: so he bagged out of that. But since he that,

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Speaker 1: he still think he's a minister. And so you all

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Speaker 1: decided not to have sex before you got married. But

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Speaker 1: then y'all went on the food around one time to

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Speaker 1: make sure y'alls comparable compatible. That's human nature. So happened.

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Speaker 1: It was good. So now you're really looking forward to

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Speaker 1: married life. But as soon as y'all said I do,

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about right after the vibe, he homeboard ready

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Speaker 1: for action. They pictures. No, no, damn all the pictures.

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Speaker 1: Out't took these pictures. But you know where my hand is,

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Speaker 1: thought you. So now y'all had sex between the wind

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Speaker 1: and and your reception. Wow. And then you were trying

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Speaker 1: to change into your second dress for the reception evening.

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Speaker 1: You weren't even in the mood, but he started quoting

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Speaker 1: scriptures about how a woman it's supposed to treat our man. Now,

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Speaker 1: let me ask you a question. Can y'all please send

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Speaker 1: all of us me and this scripture? What is the

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Speaker 1: scripture that he's getting all this sex on? Can send

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Speaker 1: us the scripture so we can have the scripture because

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Speaker 1: I'm very unfamiliar and if anybody knows the scripture that

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Speaker 1: make it a require minute that y'all do what we

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Speaker 1: want y'all to do and how you want to do

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Speaker 1: it in many times? Can you please send us a

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Speaker 1: copy of the thank you? What are you going to apply?

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna read it to my wife. Yeah, now here's

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Speaker 1: another problem. And then she said, I tried to stay

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Speaker 1: at the reception as long as I could because he

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Speaker 1: kept pushing to me all that he was gonna do

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Speaker 1: to me that night. I was too tired for all that,

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Speaker 1: and he didn't care. You know, I've noticed a lot

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Speaker 1: of women because of the activities of the wedding day

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Speaker 1: and the reception, I've heard a lot of people say

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Speaker 1: that that night, that night of the wedding, it don't

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Speaker 1: be all that y'all thought it was gonna be because

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Speaker 1: she'd be wore out. Yeah, so you know, but he

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Speaker 1: don't care. The lady said, we have had so much

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Speaker 1: sex since that night that I got to run, hide

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Speaker 1: and make up excuses to break to get a break

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Speaker 1: from pleasing him. Then she tried to fix it. Don't

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Speaker 1: get me wrong, it's fantastic, No it ain't. But too

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Speaker 1: much of a good thing is a problem, and then

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Speaker 1: he want to play cat and mouse all night long

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Speaker 1: and then and that's what it's up. So she had

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Speaker 1: to go hide and then he find her. Now this

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Speaker 1: ain't Captain Mouth, this is hide and seek. The only

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Speaker 1: way you're gonna get out of this problem is from

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Speaker 1: now on, when y'all play hide and seek, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to leave the house back though completely sneak out.

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Speaker 1: Did you say, put a ladder up against the garage

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Speaker 1: and climb up on it and then kick the ladder open.

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Speaker 1: He will never find you up there, but you have

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Speaker 1: got to get out of that house. So now here's

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Speaker 1: the problem too. He don't like sex doing the day

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Speaker 1: because she didn't. Tried to tell him, let's have a lunch,

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Speaker 1: but he doesn't. He can't get it in the morning

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Speaker 1: because he wants to have sex. You know. He told

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Speaker 1: you that he can't compromise because I suggested to have

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Speaker 1: sex and lunch, he said, to make him too tired

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Speaker 1: to finish the day. Then in the morning he got

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Speaker 1: to prepare medley for his day, so sex won't work.

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Speaker 1: He only wanted to have sex any night. I set

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Speaker 1: him down and told him we got a compromise. He

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Speaker 1: looked so defeated. I felt bad for him. We're both thirty,

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Speaker 1: and my aunt said he will settle down soon. At

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Speaker 1: what age doesn't man settle into a sensible sex be cut?

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Speaker 1: How do I handle it? Well, let me help y'all

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Speaker 1: with that, because I know exactly when his ass is

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Speaker 1: gonna settle into a sensible sex schedule. As soon as

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Speaker 1: y'all have kids. Boom, settle case clothes, you ain't got

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Speaker 1: where about all this where you every night? And then

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Speaker 1: he gonna help out with these kids. He got to

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Speaker 1: get up in that two hour feed and scheduling all

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Speaker 1: that soon as y'all have kids. If I'll tell you

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Speaker 1: something else, if he tried to open a business, Oh,

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Speaker 1: he's gonna set his ass right on down, tired. Oh

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Speaker 1: you got to think now, See, so y'all just missing

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Speaker 1: a couple of things. Y'all ain't got no family started,

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Speaker 1: and y'all ain't got no real business going. Y'all both

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Speaker 1: at work. As soon as y'all get to have a

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Speaker 1: dreams and aspirations, as soon as y'all sit down and

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Speaker 1: fill out that vision board and find out what everybody

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Speaker 1: won't and think, And now you realize what it's gonna

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Speaker 1: take to make that vision board come through, come true. Oh,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna get on a sensible sexual schedule. Then you

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Speaker 1: can believe that some kids and some visions. All you

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Speaker 1: got to do is wan't more and have more and

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Speaker 1: here comes a whole bunch of sensible as six. Congratulations,

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Speaker 1: you are now into this sexual or sensibility phase of life,

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Speaker 1: and them kids gonna help you be real sensible. All right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: I sent you're a scripture. Yeah, I'll read it when

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Speaker 1: we come back. Send it to me too. Now I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna say, I'm gonna you ain't gonna want to come

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Speaker 1: all right? All right, thank you. You can hit us

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Speaker 1: up on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM to comment on

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Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter. You can also check out the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand. They're coming up next in a

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Speaker 1: sports talk with Tommy That should be fun. Yes, right

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Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to the Dame Harvey Morning Show