1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:06,159 Speaker 1: Andree Martinez in Real Life Podcast. This episode and conversation 2 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:10,600 Speaker 1: is powered by I Do Say Hello. Everybody's Edie Martinez. 3 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Takeaways. This Takeaways episode is 4 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: regarding the Ashanti interview. I know we are backed up 5 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: on these, so we're gonna drop a bunch of them 6 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: at one time, and then the goal is to um, 7 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 1: you know, in between each interview kind of take a 8 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 1: moment to reflect on anything that we want to add, 9 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: or maybe some of your comments or just our own 10 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,200 Speaker 1: takeaways the things that you know stuck with us after 11 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: the interviews. So so so if you ever have a takeaway 12 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,319 Speaker 1: about a about an interview or an episode, please leave 13 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: it in the comments because we do read them and 14 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: it does help inform, like these conversations, what really matters 15 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: to you and what you connect to. So we do 16 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: read and appreciate all comments and of course subscribe to 17 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: the Edge Martinez I r L podcast. UM and so 18 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 1: in a Shanty's Interview, one of the things that we 19 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: talked about in the episode was this article that was 20 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: written about or Goti's appearance on Drink Champs Um and 21 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: what happens when women say no. That is the name 22 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: of the article. Uh, and no, not just in a 23 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 1: big way, not like when people are women are forced 24 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: to do something, but like when women pull away from 25 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: a situation and the cussions of that, especially when it's 26 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:20,120 Speaker 1: like a work relationship. Um, I just thought that was 27 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: I thought the article was really well written, and we 28 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 1: have the author on the phone. Hi, Candice, Hi, it's 29 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 1: so nice to meet you. First of all, thank you 30 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 1: so much for today. Thank you for having me. I'm 31 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 1: so excited. So I found can this benbow on Twitter 32 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 1: after some people had tagged her because I referenced the 33 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: article and they and they do it was your right away, 34 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: which is so dope. It was so funny because I 35 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: was watching it and I said, I think she's talking 36 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: about my article, and my friend was like, no, she 37 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: is talking about so it was. It actually was just 38 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 1: an honor. Like I told you, I'm on the on 39 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: the social is like you are are one of my idols. 40 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: So the fact that you had even read it had 41 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 1: just been an honor. But while I was listening to 42 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 1: Ashanti tell her story, it did remind me that so 43 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:17,920 Speaker 1: many women go through these kinds of experiences that we 44 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: never know until they talk. Right, we would have never 45 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: known the levels of just share, manipulation and control that 46 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: she had experienced at his hands. Has she never said 47 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: a word. The interesting thing to me was, I remember 48 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,400 Speaker 1: in your article you were saying that you didn't think 49 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: actually a shanty should say anything, because part of it 50 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 1: has she has always taken this this high road in 51 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 1: that this guy has completely at every turn, found a 52 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: way to really just disrespect her, and she has always 53 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: found this way to just like stay above it. But 54 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 1: what was really interesting was that I had to check 55 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: myself when I watched her with you, because the truth 56 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 1: is that we all get to tell our stories and 57 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: share our stories whenever we feel like it, if we choose, 58 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: And so I had to catch myself and say, yeah, 59 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,519 Speaker 1: it's not a It's not always that women should take 60 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: this high road, as men get to say and do 61 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: whatever they want. That's part of the problem, right, is 62 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 1: that we feel like we can't speak or that we 63 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 1: shouldn't speak. But her ability to share her truth and 64 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 1: her honesty freed other women Like I was looking at 65 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: comments that she retweeted and comments that people shared as 66 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: she trend it that day, and it gave a lot 67 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 1: of women courage to be really honest about their own 68 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: experiences and say like, I didn't realize that what I 69 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: had experienced was manipulation and control until you said something. 70 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: And so that's the power that we That is the 71 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 1: beauty of our power when we step in it, and 72 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: we get to step into our power however we want to, 73 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 1: whether we want to talk, whether we want to not speak. 74 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: But she I had to. I had to check myself 75 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 1: when I when I watched it. I love that. I 76 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: love that. Listen, everybody's in a constant state of checking 77 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: ourselves all the time. That's the problem with this world 78 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 1: is everybody like gets canceled and you do something wrong 79 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,360 Speaker 1: and nobody wants to hear from you, but nobody's got 80 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 1: it right at ever, Like your whole life should be continuous, 81 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: you know, self checking and self correcting. And I think 82 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: this is an opportunity, um for people to kind of 83 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,920 Speaker 1: look at that. And you know, Earth too, I think 84 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: this is an opportunity, hopefully for Earth, because I don't know, 85 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 1: he may just get angry because the pieces of the 86 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: story that he disagrees with or deems untrue. Um. But 87 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: maybe underneath that or that is my hope anyway, that 88 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 1: there's space for self correcting and healing and maybe just 89 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: even if nothing else, understanding each other, Understanding how Ashanti 90 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 1: felt in those times when it was over, how she 91 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: feels now, how she feels to have had hear her 92 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 1: story in that manner, in that way, in that type 93 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: of language, and if not, you know, just somebody that 94 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: maybe somebody's in a relationship like that and needs to 95 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: you know, handle it better and to be mindful of 96 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: how a situation like that could end up or feel 97 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:19,679 Speaker 1: to someone. Um And so for that, I'm really glad 98 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: that she allowed herself to be vulnerable and share her story. 99 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:28,600 Speaker 1: I I really feel like it resonated with a lot 100 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 1: of people. I saw it in the comments, and I 101 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 1: think part of it to Angie is that we all 102 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 1: could we all could feel and know that she felt safe, 103 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: because there are a lot of other places and I 104 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: said it in my follow up piece that would have 105 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,359 Speaker 1: jumped at the chance to interview her and would have 106 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 1: found ways to nuance behavior or justify or make her 107 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,919 Speaker 1: feel like she had to to take his side or 108 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 1: understand his perspective, when the truth is is that, yes, 109 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: this is an opportunity for men, whether they're in the 110 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: music business, or whatever profession. This is an opportunity for 111 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: men to be self reflexive and say, what what does 112 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 1: it feel like for this kind of unbalanced power dynamic 113 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: that makes women feel as though they have to make 114 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: certain decisions not because they want to, but because they 115 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 1: have to make these decisions with their career in mind. Right, 116 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 1: what would it mean from me to move ethically in 117 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:38,039 Speaker 1: a way that takes that pressure off of them? Because 118 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,160 Speaker 1: I wouldn't want that pressure on me, and I don't 119 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:49,359 Speaker 1: I don't think that men are often given enough room 120 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: or space opportunity to think through those things. Um, And 121 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: when we push them to do it, it's always particularly 122 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: in the moment that we're in, where where we see 123 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: so many movements and so many moments coming together to 124 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:11,000 Speaker 1: hold people accountable in ways that they've never been. There's 125 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 1: kind of this knee jerk reaction to well what about me, Well, 126 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 1: you know, this kind of this kind of push well, 127 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 1: because nobody wants to get canceled, so they jump to 128 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 1: defend themselves, right, And what really matters is to say, 129 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: how do we stop and say, yeah, it probably wasn't 130 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 1: the best thing for me to say that she couldn't 131 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: record just because I was in my feelings that she's 132 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 1: in a relationship, right, And if you're not in a 133 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: music business, what does it mean when you when you 134 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: withhold opportunities, when you with whole promotions, ways of advancements, 135 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:53,600 Speaker 1: just because women aren't interested or they make a different decision. 136 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 1: If men had those experiences, they would be livid. So 137 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 1: what do in me for you to sit back and say, 138 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 1: I need to be self reflective enough that the kind 139 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: of respect, the kind of integrity, the kind of character 140 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: that I want people to recognize me for I need 141 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 1: to create the environment and so the people around me 142 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 1: can flourish. That's so good because I I really appreciate 143 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: when people have a perspective that's just it's solid, and 144 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: it's like you have a clear perspective, but you're also 145 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 1: you know, sometimes it's like black and white with everybody, 146 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: and I see some shades of gray. And your in 147 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: your writing and your thoughts. And even when you talked 148 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: about drink Champs, how like you're like, I love drink Champs. 149 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,640 Speaker 1: This is the same place that gives Patti LaBelle her flowers. 150 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 1: But you were disappointed in the way that they handled 151 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: the interview, right, and so, but you could instead of 152 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: just condemning them completely, you show the full picture of 153 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 1: why there's disappointment in this moment, not let's cancel drink chimps. Yeah, 154 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 1: and I think we have unfortunately too much of that. 155 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 1: My mom used to say that none of us are 156 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: the worst thing that we've ever done, and we're not 157 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: always the best thing that we've ever done. We live 158 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: in the middle of it. And so what does it 159 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 1: mean to say you had a terrible moment? Moments like 160 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: we need to hold you accountable. That accountability might be uncomfortable, right, 161 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,960 Speaker 1: That accountability may come with some consequences and some implications 162 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: that you didn't expect. They can be tangible or not. 163 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 1: But if you allow yourselves to be held accountable and 164 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:37,119 Speaker 1: and reconcile and and and find ways to redeem yourself 165 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: and the moment, there's no reason why can't be embraced. 166 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: How do we get how do we get better? How 167 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: do we course correct? How do we like lift people 168 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,440 Speaker 1: up instead of like canceling them when these moments happen. 169 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,320 Speaker 1: If we don't do that, if we don't offer a 170 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: place to check people when we don't like things, but 171 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 1: also continue the conversation and learn from it, and I 172 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 1: think Nori. Honestly, I know Nori for many years. I 173 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 1: think he's taken these moments to heart. I think he's 174 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 1: made some mistakes. I think he knows that. I think 175 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,200 Speaker 1: he truly loves his platform. I think he truly loves 176 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: the culture. I think he wants to do well. I mean, 177 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 1: I hope he doesn't mind me sharing this, but after 178 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:13,079 Speaker 1: my Ashanti interview, he sent me a lovely message about 179 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: how well I handled that interview and he couldn't have 180 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 1: done the same, and thank you for being such a 181 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 1: like a role model. Like he he wants to be better, 182 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,200 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. He but he's Nori and 183 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 1: it's Drake Chaps and he's sitting there and he's drinking 184 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: and they're smoking and they're talking ship and this guy 185 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 1: is at a table and you know that he thinks 186 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: he's just free and comfortable. But you do have a 187 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 1: platform and people are listening and it does affect other people. 188 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: And I think he's starting to kind of understand how 189 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 1: to kind of navigate that. It's it's it's it's tough 190 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,680 Speaker 1: for people, you know, but he does great things. I 191 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,840 Speaker 1: absolutely adore Nori. I love Nori. I hated that episode IRV. 192 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 1: I actually love IRV, you know what I'm saying. I 193 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: just hate the way he handled this. I think there's 194 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:51,760 Speaker 1: a learning opportunity for him here. I think it's a 195 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 1: learning opportunity, like I said, for everybody here. So I've 196 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:59,319 Speaker 1: never I've never met Nori. I had in my journalism days. 197 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 1: I had an opportunity to interview her once, and he 198 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: was extremely gracious and kind and hilarious. So like so, 199 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: it was it was disappointing um to see to see 200 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 1: kind of this dissolution of that. But I have always felt, 201 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: even in these few moments, big major moments where Nori 202 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 1: has been held accountable, that he's trying to get it right. 203 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 1: I think I think what happens the way that we 204 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 1: course correct right is that we have to have more 205 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:39,360 Speaker 1: spaces where those kinds of moments are possible, and then 206 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 1: we have to have more people who are willing to 207 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: be held in those kind of spaces. Right. So part 208 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,679 Speaker 1: of it is what does it mean to be one 209 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:56,080 Speaker 1: of the ones who who says, you know, like I did, 210 00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 1: I love drink Champs. I hated this. I hated a 211 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 1: couple of other episodes that they didn't. But you know, 212 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,439 Speaker 1: and I stood on that when people read it and 213 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 1: was like, how, like, no, we need to completely disavow 214 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: and I said no, like that, that doesn't that doesn't 215 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:19,040 Speaker 1: allow for people to learn, right, Like that doesn't allow 216 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 1: for people to learn. And I know that in the 217 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:25,560 Speaker 1: worst moments that I've ever had, I didn't. I don't. 218 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:27,959 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have wanted those to be my final ones. 219 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have wanted I and I and I and 220 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 1: they weren't because I had mentors, because I had colleagues 221 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: who were like, this is what you did wrong. Let's 222 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:44,880 Speaker 1: shift right and just in a way that that you 223 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,720 Speaker 1: can grow and you can learn from. Now, if I 224 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:51,319 Speaker 1: didn't grow, and if I didn't learn, and I continue 225 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 1: to find myself in these same positions opportunity after opportunity, 226 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 1: then that's that's that's a completely different story. But I 227 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 1: do think that you give people the space to grow. 228 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,200 Speaker 1: I will say this, I was really appreciative even in 229 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 1: your interview where Ashanti was like, no, I do believe 230 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: that that John did defend me. He could have done more. Yeah. 231 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 1: I love that they have the relationship where she could 232 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,960 Speaker 1: be honest about that with him. Right, that like like 233 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 1: he ain't he who can't be swit cling all the time? Right? 234 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 1: But but the fact that she there was enough love 235 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,800 Speaker 1: in their relationship with each other for her to say, 236 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna hold your fee to the fire and for 237 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 1: him to allow his feet to be held to the fire. 238 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 1: And even in that moment, she could still say that's 239 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 1: my brother and I love him. You know that that. 240 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 1: I think those moments, when we see those kind of moments, 241 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: it shows that it's possible for you to make a mistake. 242 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 1: It's possible for you to do something that everybody is 243 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,839 Speaker 1: like would and it not It not be the end 244 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 1: of relationships, and it not the end of opportunities if 245 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: you're willing to acknowledge what you did wrong and find 246 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,600 Speaker 1: a way to move forward. I mean, what a what 247 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 1: a better world it would be, Um if that were 248 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 1: how we handled all situations. What do you think about 249 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:18,200 Speaker 1: how fat Joe showed up in this scenario? So, first 250 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: of all, I love him in a way, his his 251 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: the way that he has come into his own in 252 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 1: this space has just been beautiful and amazing to watch. 253 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:34,360 Speaker 1: But and he's become he already was a statesman. But 254 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: I think that the way that he has developed into 255 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 1: a content creator really allows him to be this kind 256 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 1: of genuine respected statesman in hip hop that he deserves. 257 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,440 Speaker 1: And so for him to be able to come out 258 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 1: in this moment and say uh like no, not okay, 259 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 1: and we surround her, I appreciated it. And I want 260 00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 1: to see more of that in other space things and 261 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: with other women in hip hop who are not experiencing 262 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,520 Speaker 1: kind of respect and respect period that they should be 263 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 1: getting from other colleagues and other artists. So when he 264 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:16,240 Speaker 1: did that, he really modeled like, no, like we need 265 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 1: to stand against the disrespect and at some point enough 266 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 1: is enough. And so when he did that for me, 267 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 1: it was like, I really hope that other men see it, 268 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,040 Speaker 1: other other folks and men and brothers in hip hop 269 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 1: see it and say we're gonna do the same when 270 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:36,320 Speaker 1: we see other women who are being publicly disrespected and 271 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 1: and call it out and say it's not cool. Yeah. 272 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,240 Speaker 1: I thought it was great. As his friend, I was like, Okay, 273 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: that's enough. I didn't want to see a war breakout 274 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 1: over this. I loved his sentiment and I love the 275 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 1: way he shows up friends. He shows up for what'sariety 276 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 1: shows up for the culture. And you know, Joe somebody 277 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 1: who's made mistakes and has learned, and he has needed 278 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,560 Speaker 1: some grace to like of course correct the different points 279 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: of his life and his career. So you know, it's 280 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 1: it's I would say, us too, and and it leads 281 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: to probably a bigger piece that I think we're seeing 282 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 1: all over with the trends of us losing so many 283 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: artists right now. I think that what we see, what 284 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 1: we saw, I mean, what we saw in in Joe 285 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 1: and what we that moment that we got we're talking 286 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:23,600 Speaker 1: about with with Ashanti and Jah is the benefits and 287 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 1: the beauty of being able to watch our artists age 288 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:31,960 Speaker 1: and grow up right, because because with age and maturity 289 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 1: comes wisdom, right that that you're able to say I 290 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 1: did and said some dumb stuff when I was in 291 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 1: twenties and my thirties, and and probably like I I have, 292 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 1: I've grown, I've learned somethings learned. This is the wisdom. 293 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 1: I'm recognizing the moments and the times that we're in 294 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 1: and so this is the beauty of being able to 295 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:57,560 Speaker 1: see them age and grow up right, and that like 296 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 1: I hate that so many of them are being robbed 297 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 1: of that opportunity, right, because we might not have gotten 298 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:11,399 Speaker 1: that from a Fagio ten fifteen years ago, but we 299 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,680 Speaker 1: got that now, and and it came with the level 300 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 1: of weight and wisdom that you only get as you, 301 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 1: as you age and you grow up. And so that 302 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:24,240 Speaker 1: has been the beauty of seeing artists that that I 303 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:28,880 Speaker 1: grew up listening to watching them become fathers and grandfathers. 304 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 1: I for sure, as a twenty year old, five year 305 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 1: old radio personality, couldn't have the conversations that we're having 306 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,720 Speaker 1: on this podcast. You know, that comes from experience, That 307 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,399 Speaker 1: comes from like a willingness to be kind of a 308 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: little more naked, a little more vulnerable, a little bo 309 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:45,679 Speaker 1: and and seeing the you know, seeing the beauty and that, 310 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,879 Speaker 1: seeing the importance of that, appreciating the honesty, and and 311 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 1: people who are willing to give it back to me. 312 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 1: I think, you know, you you only get that with experience, 313 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:57,479 Speaker 1: with growth, with age, with all that type of stuff. 314 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,879 Speaker 1: So I can't wait to see what you do. Not 315 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:04,119 Speaker 1: some gonna read all your articles now, Canvas. I'm excited, 316 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 1: like I think that we're I think that we are 317 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,560 Speaker 1: in a very interesting time, in a very interesting moment 318 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: where we if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. I 319 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,960 Speaker 1: think that's one of the reasons why we loved we 320 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 1: love this in real life, like the fact that that 321 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:27,440 Speaker 1: they're You have created this space that in the podcast fear, 322 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:31,160 Speaker 1: we don't really have a lot of right when people 323 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 1: know that they're not coming for these gotcha moments, right 324 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:39,000 Speaker 1: that they're not they're not coming to to have to 325 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:43,000 Speaker 1: to be on guard, but can really truly be themselves. 326 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: You've created that and we need more of it. So 327 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 1: I think that what you've done in this season, what 328 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 1: these conversations have done, I think it's created and shown 329 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:56,440 Speaker 1: the need for more of this, and so I hope 330 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,399 Speaker 1: that we see more of it. Thank you for that, 331 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 1: and yes you, when people like you show up and 332 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 1: and share a conversation like this, you're contributing to the 333 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,719 Speaker 1: more of it. So thank you so much for today. 334 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:11,680 Speaker 1: You're amazing. Likewise, thank you, and thank you to everybody 335 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 1: who tuned in. By the way, if you haven't seen 336 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,560 Speaker 1: the Ashanti interview, you listen to this whole podcast without 337 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,160 Speaker 1: actually seeing the interview is kind of cool, but you can. 338 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 1: It's on my YouTube page and you can subscribe right here. 339 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,960 Speaker 1: But make sure you subscribe because you'll get updates for 340 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,680 Speaker 1: not just the conversations and the interviews, but these takeaways 341 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,200 Speaker 1: that run in between the interviews and that our audio only. 342 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,399 Speaker 1: So thank you guys for listening, and we'll catch you 343 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,160 Speaker 1: on the next one.