Speaker 1: Well, come back to another episode about me this I'm
Speaker 1: your host, Kevin Pollock, Yes that Kevin? How am I?
Speaker 1: Are you being real right now? Coming at me? Bro? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: thank you for asking. I'm feeling a h and again,
Speaker 1: thank you for your concern, but I digress. Let's meet
Speaker 1: in no particular order. Let's quickly check in with Craig
Speaker 1: Kowski for his year end movie preview, Cacao, Kevin, west
Speaker 1: Side Story is coming out? Yes, uh, Spielberg's West Side
Speaker 1: Story actual Puerto Ricans in the movie. I'm hearing, but
Speaker 1: still gang members dancing ballet, so it all evens out
Speaker 1: in the end. Heard good things though, excited and that's
Speaker 1: that's it. That's the movie. There's also that thing with
Speaker 1: the rock and it's on Netflix. You can watch it now.
Speaker 1: It turns out West Side Stories takes place in Santa Monica. Uh. Now,
Speaker 1: let's check it with Christoph Aarado for his end of
Speaker 1: year surf report. Christoph, thank you. Kevin. Um, I'm actually
Speaker 1: currently looking at the ocean this very moment, and what
Speaker 1: it's saying to me is, though I only got incrementally
Speaker 1: better at actually surfing, everything else in my life became
Speaker 1: exceedingly better because of surfing. Wow, yeah, yeah, sen Master.
Speaker 1: I started to realize I was judging myself, calling myself
Speaker 1: a bad surfer because I'm still a beginner. But you know,
Speaker 1: your body doesn't know if you're a bad surfer. You
Speaker 1: probably knows you're getting reps out there. You probably knows
Speaker 1: your course tightening your lower back muscles. Like Gary feels me,
Speaker 1: and I just kind of blew, who are guest days?
Speaker 1: But he feels me. I hope you feel me. God, Gary,
Speaker 1: I love you, Thank you? Yeah? Please, come on, you're kidding?
Speaker 1: Uh speaking to much? Hey, there's carry any Williams. Let
Speaker 1: me just say hello America, but not hello to Puerto Rico. No.
Speaker 1: And I know what you're saying, Gary, They're part of us,
Speaker 1: as they say in their country. No. No, Marilyn Garrila,
Speaker 1: how did you discover the truth about Santa Claus? Um?
Speaker 1: I was looking at a painting in my aunt has
Speaker 1: to lease house or from the south we say ain't
Speaker 1: pesta le and my ain't has to lease house? And
Speaker 1: there was a bridge in this painting, and I asked
Speaker 1: my mom, how does Santa Claus get across there? Because
Speaker 1: I thought about the big sleigh and it was a
Speaker 1: tiny little surridge and she goes, you know they ain't
Speaker 1: no Santa Claus. Yeah, I'm sorry. That was your mom
Speaker 1: or your aunt. That was my my mom in my
Speaker 1: aunt's house. Yeah, your mom said the final day, no
Speaker 1: Santa Claus. Oh man, did you say? Yeah? You did
Speaker 1: know and try to please. I was like, yeah, my son.
Speaker 1: My son, however, told me when he was I guess
Speaker 1: he was too. He was lying on his back fixing
Speaker 1: the chimney flu with me and he looks up and goes,
Speaker 1: there's no Santa Claus. I was like, why would you
Speaker 1: say that? He was two years old? And he goes,
Speaker 1: he would never fit down this chimney reindeer can't fly,
Speaker 1: and he'd never make it around the world on time.
Speaker 1: There's no Santa Clauses too to at two? Yeah, did
Speaker 1: you enroll him at Stanford? Immediately? He's now at Brown,
Speaker 1: but I didn't even Stanford. I'm with you, and look out,
Speaker 1: it's James Ceney, Johnny Jim Jean. What is your favorite
Speaker 1: thing about Christmas? Well, I mean, I love family. I
Speaker 1: love being a Brown family. I like to get together
Speaker 1: with family a few days before Christmas so I can
Speaker 1: enjoy the actual season and then it culminates on the
Speaker 1: big party with family. Question, if I may just for clarification,
Speaker 1: because I'm feeling the passion and I'm digging it. You're
Speaker 1: not talking about your family, right, yeah, talking about my family.
Speaker 1: If I could get all my friends to come and
Speaker 1: hang out with my family too, I would do that,
Speaker 1: Like the more the merrier. My family is always well
Speaker 1: willing to invite people in, but nobody ever, it's just us.
Speaker 1: But it's fine. I like, we have a great time.
Speaker 1: You're all invited and that and last but not even
Speaker 1: a lump of coal. If you think oft least it's
Speaker 1: Joey Greer chronic cock block. If you could correct a
Speaker 1: few things that Santa does each year, what would they be? Wow?
Speaker 1: If you think, first off, get off the book, get
Speaker 1: on an iPad or something. I mean, let's digitize it
Speaker 1: all and it's gonna take a little while to transfer
Speaker 1: the records. And the medical industry was doing that for
Speaker 1: like a decade or so, and that that was a
Speaker 1: gave people job. So right, you know, I gave people jobs.
Speaker 1: So let's just like opportunity are there. I'd also, I
Speaker 1: know that the sleigh runs on reindeer yet the reindeer
Speaker 1: eat coal. That's something a lot of people don't talk about.
Speaker 1: So Santa does support the coal industry. And I think
Speaker 1: it should be electric. I know it should be. I
Speaker 1: don't even think I know it should be. And the
Speaker 1: last thing that I would change is the outfit. Huh
Speaker 1: outfit because you're going style or colors or what? Oh
Speaker 1: I didn't think. I think colors are conn I guess
Speaker 1: stay with the colors. But style has gotta change. Style
Speaker 1: has got And I've seen a couple of movies do
Speaker 1: it where they give Santa like a dope coat, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, kind of like a Triple X
Speaker 1: and Diesel. I remember ven Diesel and Triple X big coat.
Speaker 1: He's beven Diesel and Triple X. I don't know how
Speaker 1: to describe him. And so he's he's got this big
Speaker 1: coat and he's got like like the fur right up
Speaker 1: on the shoulders, and it's just like he's always like
Speaker 1: always were like a like a hermo or something that's
Speaker 1: like you don't think it would I don't know how
Speaker 1: comfy or thick the checko was, but it made sense.
Speaker 1: It made sense. This is kind of like he's hardcore
Speaker 1: like that he's triple X. Uh, and so Vin Diesel
Speaker 1: and triple xes when I'm speaking and uh not in
Speaker 1: this this. I believe the sequel ice Cube plays triple X.
Speaker 1: But this is this is then Diesel's triple X. So
Speaker 1: the coat that I'm speaking about is that's the new style, right,
Speaker 1: Obviously keep the same colors, Ryan, keep it red and
Speaker 1: then the white trim, the white fluff. But you know,
Speaker 1: get that like a nice like trench er, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, like a thick boy. That's where you
Speaker 1: can just like but still move. But sounds okay, Let's
Speaker 1: do a damn show. All of our shame suggestions are
Speaker 1: gathered from our listeners, emails or from our patron v
Speaker 1: i p s to become patron store of the show
Speaker 1: and enjoy exclusive content like standalone bonus scenes that we
Speaker 1: record just for you video. Also of all these recording
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Speaker 1: Are some big perks. Just head on over to patron
Speaker 1: dot com slash alchemy this. If you'd like to have
Speaker 1: mad a scene suggestion by email. Love to read your emails,
Speaker 1: Please right to the podcast at alchemy This email at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com that's alchemy. This email seen one comes
Speaker 1: from patron v I P Andrew and it's a doozy,
Speaker 1: he wrote, or they wrote, Hey alchemists, Andrew here. I've
Speaker 1: had four of my suggestions used during the three years
Speaker 1: i've been listening. Well, all right, good on you, Andrew,
Speaker 1: pretty good. The first one was you that was used
Speaker 1: as a new Patreon member. Kevin found it too difficult
Speaker 1: to copy and paste my name. Yeah, well, Andrew, Uh,
Speaker 1: so you know you spelled fucking paste wrong? All right, bro,
Speaker 1: and you're in your little missive so U have a seat.
Speaker 1: What does it say past past? Yeah, let's have a
Speaker 1: little chuckle with Andrew. You can't instatly Andrew the bye uh.
Speaker 1: And then he goes on to explain his suggestion, farts
Speaker 1: that smell like subway was my suggestion, sweet sweet pride um.
Speaker 1: Let's see. Just to make this clear, Joey's not holding
Speaker 1: anyone back. I was joking. Joey brings to chaos and
Speaker 1: I love it. Chris made me have some thoughts about
Speaker 1: my hometown of Charleston, South Carolina with his views from
Speaker 1: his visit. I love this place, but I also get it.
Speaker 1: Suggestion Charleston horse Carriage tour guide from Sweden knows nothing
Speaker 1: about the city, Kevin, get out of my grandma's bare bedroom,
Speaker 1: Andrew School school scool me, sir, me and my quote
Speaker 1: unquote wife would know quote unquote Yeah, we were legally
Speaker 1: were married, but emotionally with common law. We we lived
Speaker 1: together long enough that it was just a simple signature
Speaker 1: in a couple years and what's coming eight years? Eight years.
Speaker 1: We would love, we would love a tour around your city,
Speaker 1: but preferably preferably on I'm sorry, I have I have
Speaker 1: what is called chronic nova kaing syndrome. My bottom my
Speaker 1: wife his bottom lip has absolutely no control, so it
Speaker 1: kind of you'll notice it has a vibration to it,
Speaker 1: and sometimes if there's wetness on the vibration, it becomes
Speaker 1: a spray buss bus. You want me to get the
Speaker 1: salad bar guy, the Plexi glass also, I want the
Speaker 1: salad bar guy first, all right, and then I want
Speaker 1: you also to talk to this the Plexi gas guy.
Speaker 1: But I really want the salad bar guy over here
Speaker 1: right now, alright, because I got some the croutons, sorry,
Speaker 1: just some workship. But you know you say that you
Speaker 1: guys aren't emotionally attached. But she gets you. She understands that. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: she getting for love making gold. We are we had
Speaker 1: ourself tested. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I gotta put the
Speaker 1: salad down. I can't. I can't look at the cells
Speaker 1: right now. I'm gonna go. Alright, guys, we're gonna need
Speaker 1: some more baby corn over here. Let's get baby corn
Speaker 1: over here. Good looking, good cherry tomatoes? Alright? Did you
Speaker 1: say the cherry you want? The cherry tomatoes or the
Speaker 1: cherry tomatoes? Which one did you want? What did they say?
Speaker 1: You said chairry tomatoes? But all right, you're right, stand stand,
Speaker 1: you're right, you're right. This is not about right a rome. Goddamnit,
Speaker 1: this is not about righting rome. Which one do you won't? Tomatoes?
Speaker 1: All right? I got miss misspoken. What do we do
Speaker 1: with the tomatoes? We got a ship ton of cherry tomatoes?
Speaker 1: Here should tomatoes? Well, well, we'll hold us off to
Speaker 1: the side. Listen, today is the big day we all know. Okay,
Speaker 1: we've got a lot of people. Were looking at three
Speaker 1: thousand people coming through the salad bar. Okay, so I'm
Speaker 1: sure if we ran into the tomatoes, we can use
Speaker 1: the tomatoes some some some of the birds are eating
Speaker 1: the tomatoes. Should we away moved the tomatoes, get rid
Speaker 1: of the birds, Get rid of the birds, get rid
Speaker 1: of the birds if I might. Yeah, I can kill
Speaker 1: two of them birds with one stone if you would
Speaker 1: like me to God damn stand, yes, yes, please, yes,
Speaker 1: please give me five minutes and I will have this
Speaker 1: place the birds. Now there's two. Okay, good, because there's
Speaker 1: more than two birds. But yeah, sir, did you need something?
Speaker 1: I know you're right. You work for the guy, the
Speaker 1: horse carriage guy. Right, yeah, what's going on? You tell
Speaker 1: me you're at my place of business for me? Perhaps? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I wanted to get his sald to go please. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: he didn't send for me. He doesn't need to hear
Speaker 1: from me. Well not right now, he sent me. Yeah, okay, cool,
Speaker 1: all right, So I'll just give you is you there is?
Speaker 1: Because this is the number one tourist attraction in Charleston. Look,
Speaker 1: I appreciate me and my wife. I hear you. But
Speaker 1: all I'm saying is, I mean, the connection is so real.
Speaker 1: I understand. It's just not a love connection. It's a
Speaker 1: fact connection. It's a science pat connection. I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: you all the tour, but I'm gonna give you the
Speaker 1: Charleston Love Tour. Bu sorry you interrupt at the salad
Speaker 1: guy bar? Uh with the salad guy bar? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: what about the salad bar? Did everybody come to attention please?
Speaker 1: All the members of the Salad of the Guy Convention.
Speaker 1: Do I have the guys here represented as well? Ye?
Speaker 1: Do I have? The salad guys can also be used
Speaker 1: as a plate if it's just all I'm literally just realized.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I called this meeting today, which is about
Speaker 1: clear up what's it about? I wanted to clear up
Speaker 1: who the heck it's a salad guy ball and who
Speaker 1: the heck is a salad bar guy? But all the
Speaker 1: hubbub and the hullabaloo and the Harper lore that's strolling
Speaker 1: the heads, confusing the whole damn situation the town always
Speaker 1: and ever no salad guy. Well see this is how
Speaker 1: this is, This is why we this is why we
Speaker 1: can have nice things but don't keep them for long. Hey,
Speaker 1: salad guy bar, skip people. Hey, salad guys, we uh
Speaker 1: we want to meet you guys for a little dance
Speaker 1: off in the alley tonight. You know, Charleston's most famous alley. Okay,
Speaker 1: I know this for a fact because of my brother
Speaker 1: works that alley. The actual Puerto Ricans are down there
Speaker 1: dancing right now, actual ones, the actual Puerto Rican you're
Speaker 1: gonna let's meet somewhere else. Lets me somewhere else. Actual
Speaker 1: Puerto Ricans are very they're very kind of off time
Speaker 1: to portrayed often in cinema. It makes even afraid. Of course,
Speaker 1: my father say, you can't trust the film. I just
Speaker 1: think we should go find a different tour guide. I'm
Speaker 1: not attached to this guy. He's too local. He's too
Speaker 1: he's got his own idea of what he wants to
Speaker 1: show us. People kiss over there. Maybe maybe, maybe if
Speaker 1: we have somebody who like us, who can look at
Speaker 1: their tool with a fresh, fresh eyes, and it would
Speaker 1: be better, but be a better too far. We're fresh eyes, alright, sir.
Speaker 1: I've got the results from the three tests we ran
Speaker 1: regarding your lower lip and the excess salivation. Maybe we
Speaker 1: have my wife in here, if he'd likes to take notes.
Speaker 1: Oh sure, sure, you're inviteer on in. Maybe could you
Speaker 1: come in. It's definitely something you want to share with
Speaker 1: your wife. Thank you for letting me come in. Doctor,
Speaker 1: I take all the notes and appointments. Did you need
Speaker 1: a piece of paper or writing utensil? And you'll notice
Speaker 1: I have this little iPad and I'll just what is that?
Speaker 1: What is that? It's a it's a tablet with a pen.
Speaker 1: It was depended through me. Well, I've got some great
Speaker 1: news and some just okay news. Great news, I would
Speaker 1: I start with a just okay news. Okay, they didn't
Speaker 1: seamlessly work your way for a great close with the
Speaker 1: great news. That's that's you know. My son always to
Speaker 1: suggest that to me he's a singer. He's been on
Speaker 1: that mass singer show. Do you know that shows mass singer? Yeah? Church,
Speaker 1: it is down at the church. Yes. Did they put
Speaker 1: a mask on and then make the kids sing? Did
Speaker 1: you didn't tell my name? Did you? Well? No, no,
Speaker 1: of course, He's like, that's part of the whole deals.
Speaker 1: I can't no one can know who I am. I'm
Speaker 1: behind the mask. Five minutes, five minutes, thank you five? Yeah? Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I said thank you five, I said my son. I said,
Speaker 1: my son, okay, okay, okay, But I like daisy search
Speaker 1: did they get ready? To me? Also, I'm like the
Speaker 1: only non celebrity here you know. Do you have a
Speaker 1: new mask this week? I do, I do? What are
Speaker 1: you going? Uh? It's uh, well, I'm not gonna they
Speaker 1: give it to me. It's a big bird face with
Speaker 1: the tomato on the beach. It's supposed I guess they're
Speaker 1: turning like it's like the Charleston State flag. Alright, so
Speaker 1: I've killed all of the birds outside, there's one that
Speaker 1: did manage to get away from me. Oh oh, sounds
Speaker 1: like so it's a competent rival for you staying. I
Speaker 1: would like permission that you said to stop throwing stones
Speaker 1: at these birds and get something heavy on, some heavy atillery.
Speaker 1: I'd like to shoot it in the neck. And here's
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you paid leaves
Speaker 1: until you track down and kill this one specific bird
Speaker 1: sounds to me like this. I'll do you for better.
Speaker 1: I will play you to let me leave and kill this.
Speaker 1: But this birders well, sing me. That's too. Do I
Speaker 1: need all of them? I try to know if I
Speaker 1: need you. Oh, I know you will. I know you will. Hey,
Speaker 1: godspeed A thank thank you sir. All righty I need
Speaker 1: more Caesar sauce. Can I get more season? And now
Speaker 1: it's time to reveal who is the masked singer and
Speaker 1: the bird costume with a tomato in its mouth. Please
Speaker 1: take off your head singer. He looks like a couple
Speaker 1: of different celebrities. The doctor's son. What the doctor a
Speaker 1: commercial commercial? We need socks and you need socks that
Speaker 1: can fit your feet. You're on What are you doing? Ted?
Speaker 1: Why don't we just break away from this tour and
Speaker 1: and and hire somebody off the streets. We'll just take somebody.
Speaker 1: They'll be fresh. Look at that guy over there where
Speaker 1: the non American clothing, very non American. He looks like chocolate.
Speaker 1: And I had that snap the Trenchers chocolate. That's what
Speaker 1: I was gonna say. Let me let me tap him
Speaker 1: on the shoulder, excuse him me, sir, Yes, how could
Speaker 1: I help you? My wife and I had a quote
Speaker 1: unquote wife, Let me do this right my quote wife
Speaker 1: end quote, and I need a tool of this beautiful
Speaker 1: say so. It's like a common law thing or exactly, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: It's actually a very common in Sweden. We were don't
Speaker 1: don't get married very often. That's wonderful here. Now I
Speaker 1: have taken the liberty of still in a carriage and
Speaker 1: if you could take us on just a wild Mr.
Speaker 1: Mr Toad ride. An that's what yes like, a Mr.
Speaker 1: Toad's wild ride. So you to go clip and a
Speaker 1: clop through. I tell Trumpston absolutely, we want to see
Speaker 1: the highs and where less the loads, starting with the
Speaker 1: loads and then saying left to work your way up
Speaker 1: to the hive better. Geez jeez. Students started to interrupt
Speaker 1: the Puerto Rican singing time. I went to shoot the
Speaker 1: bird's right before my very eyes, his head threw off
Speaker 1: and he changed into what I considered to be half man,
Speaker 1: half bird. I don't know if a man screwed the
Speaker 1: turkey on turkey screwed the lady. I don't know how
Speaker 1: it works, but that has seen one. He said the
Speaker 1: magic words, A man screwed the turkey, and it's the
Speaker 1: end of the scene. Sink two comes from listener Andy.
Speaker 1: World War three breaks out between factions of people who
Speaker 1: pronounce it both and people who pronounce it both, looking
Speaker 1: forward to finding out how this mango between a text
Speaker 1: email and its spoken intro. Andy from San Antonio. You
Speaker 1: can pick other one. What do you mean, you can
Speaker 1: pick either one? Just choose, that's up to me. I
Speaker 1: don't have to go to a committee. I don't have to.
Speaker 1: I just choose, you can pick other one, okay. And
Speaker 1: what authority are you insisting this with. I guess the
Speaker 1: cashier's authority. Sure, I just get some sort of I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm a manager here. Um, is there a problem? He's
Speaker 1: telling you you choose one or the other unless you
Speaker 1: expected you could just both with you? Okay. First of all,
Speaker 1: that's not how I pronounced it. Second of all, were
Speaker 1: you watching from some monitor or something? What do you
Speaker 1: think managers do? Yeah? I was you See that little
Speaker 1: booth over there, There's a TV screen and I could
Speaker 1: watch all four registers at the same time. So Mr,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, speak for the manager. Mr Thompson. Were you
Speaker 1: sitting in the booth over there? Because I thought you
Speaker 1: were in the booth. I was in the booth. Okay.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go back to the back now and
Speaker 1: finish cleaning. I am mixing color rocks with ammonia, and
Speaker 1: I think it's going to do a great job. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you. I've got an eye on both of you,
Speaker 1: so keep up the good work, right, okay? So, uh,
Speaker 1: if we could you you were saying I could use both,
Speaker 1: and my question is why, why is the choice mine?
Speaker 1: What did you say and what gives you I could
Speaker 1: choose from either or or you? Yeah? What did you say?
Speaker 1: What did you say? I'm sorry, I'm waiting here in line,
Speaker 1: but I would like to help this guy out here?
Speaker 1: He said you could choose? Thank you both? So you
Speaker 1: don't understand? No, I guess you don't understand. Why don't
Speaker 1: I help you understand? Hey? Hey, hey, both of you
Speaker 1: need to calm down. I can't have violent don't understand
Speaker 1: what that mean. We don't understand what that but we
Speaker 1: don't acknowledge a nonsense? Okay, what did you say? There's well,
Speaker 1: how about this US two will take both of you
Speaker 1: two out in the parking lot. Let's do let's do that.
Speaker 1: What do you say, big guy, new best friend? Let's
Speaker 1: do that? Yeah, to cover here, so let me just
Speaker 1: put a little to cover out. Can you put a
Speaker 1: hold on the bleach ammonia thing? And for this register,
Speaker 1: let's kick this guy's ass. Do you guys give me
Speaker 1: one seconds? Give me one second? Hey, he dead? Well,
Speaker 1: can you call I know at your naptime? Son? Son,
Speaker 1: It's so good to hear from you. Listen, I'm not
Speaker 1: calling to chat. I'm calling because I need your help.
Speaker 1: Oh it's it's just nice to hear from your son. Okay, Dad, listen,
Speaker 1: I just need your help. I just oriented because you
Speaker 1: woke me up from my nap. That's okay, Dad. Look,
Speaker 1: you're huge and you're often angry. I'm a big guy.
Speaker 1: I'm bed ridden. I haven't been outside in years. What
Speaker 1: if I told you I ran into a couple of bolts.
Speaker 1: What that's right, Dad, We're down at the We're done.
Speaker 1: It stands liquor and I just rolled out of bed.
Speaker 1: Mr Thompson, get back in that bed, sir. All right.
Speaker 1: Both is not a Legit have been pronunciation. The word
Speaker 1: is pronounced both. It's both, And I'm gonna where is
Speaker 1: it again? I'm rolling. We're there. Uh listen, gentlemen, I
Speaker 1: just want to let you know I got some backup coming.
Speaker 1: So if you want to make a call, maybe you should.
Speaker 1: I'm giving you fair warning. Okay, Well both of us
Speaker 1: could probably bring in some recruitments. I think you should.
Speaker 1: I think you should. Okay, this is jeopardy. Let's get
Speaker 1: right back to it. Get ready, You've you've chosen your
Speaker 1: category and the question and The answer is this man
Speaker 1: killed Abraham. Lincoln killed Abraham? Easy? Easy? Who is Edgar
Speaker 1: Wilkes Bull? That is correct for it's not. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: it's not. That's not correct. That's correct for, mayam, mayam.
Speaker 1: I'll take potent potables for correctly correct. Also, did you
Speaker 1: see Edgar that was on John? Will both well? John
Speaker 1: and Edgar interchangeable? Is that true? It's a Latin roote?
Speaker 1: They both have a j. Now, now that's not correct.
Speaker 1: You didn't say it correctly. We'll take care of this
Speaker 1: on the commercial break. Folks will be right back after
Speaker 1: this moment. If you want socks, the best socks to get,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? All right? Look, obviously this is
Speaker 1: turned into a much bigger deal, but you guys brought
Speaker 1: this upon yourself. As you can see, we've got we've
Speaker 1: got the coast Guard here and uh and some parts
Speaker 1: of the navy. Well there's no water here, so I
Speaker 1: don't want to do there's no water. They're not gonna
Speaker 1: be able to do anything, the navy, and I mean
Speaker 1: also the merchant Marines. We're here, Yeah, the merchant Marines
Speaker 1: are here. What are you selling now? Oh God, look
Speaker 1: that there's a toaster that cooks bacon. What all right?
Speaker 1: This is it's a great deal. Alright, it's gonna be
Speaker 1: This is gonna be a masaker. Okay. People are gonna
Speaker 1: get hurt, some people might even die. But I think
Speaker 1: it's worth it because we can't live in a world
Speaker 1: where people are willy nilly with the way they pronounce words. Understood,
Speaker 1: understanding on do you know what's going on? I'm sorry
Speaker 1: to say something I was in the middle of saying, understood.
Speaker 1: What were you asking? Spring to my my seems like
Speaker 1: only partner in this fight against the merchant, Marines, the Navy.
Speaker 1: So and do toast both. No, no, no warranty because
Speaker 1: it will never break down and it's guaranteed. Lifton, Lifton, Gortzma,
Speaker 1: I speak with you in the office. Yeah, what's going on? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You have been in my employee as a voiceover commercial
Speaker 1: guy for how many years? Would you say? Six years? Exactly? Accurately?
Speaker 1: Six years? You have now for forty nine attempts try
Speaker 1: to do a sock commercial and you've let someone else
Speaker 1: interrupt you. Don't you think it's time you grab yourself
Speaker 1: by your own gonads and pull yourself up tall and
Speaker 1: stood up at that mic and finish your commercial. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's fine. Honestly, it's it's not that big
Speaker 1: a deal. I'll get it done. I'm gonna show you
Speaker 1: a photo of my dead father who died with a
Speaker 1: frown on his face for me not finishing things. Do
Speaker 1: you want that to be your dad? Jesus? Did you
Speaker 1: dig him up? Dug him up? I done him up,
Speaker 1: and I had to have had his face reconstructed to
Speaker 1: make a frown, the frown that he died with. Yes,
Speaker 1: this is a reconstructed dead man's face. Remind me again,
Speaker 1: why would dig in this show? Well, my father died
Speaker 1: with disappointment and I realized I didn't get a photograph
Speaker 1: of it. So I want to dig him up now
Speaker 1: so I can show employees as well as friends what
Speaker 1: he looks like when you disappoint some How long has
Speaker 1: he been in this hole? I mean six years? I hope,
Speaker 1: right right? That's going to be a pretty gruesome grimace
Speaker 1: on his face. That is not yours to decide how
Speaker 1: is primace is going to look. Your job is to
Speaker 1: dig him up that you then gently let me slide
Speaker 1: twenty dollars in your back pocket, all right? When you
Speaker 1: say gently I already did it. Does that answer your question? Damn, God, damn,
Speaker 1: you're good, You're very good. Oh, both full both both
Speaker 1: full folk. Here at the beginning of World War three,
Speaker 1: you can see two factions are entering the fighting film
Speaker 1: doing their chance. We're gonna pull one of them aside
Speaker 1: right now and speak to him. Hello, serremy, I speak
Speaker 1: with you both. Yeah, how can I help you? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry getting wreck. You're chanting and you're worring. But
Speaker 1: it seems that you have a real bone to pick
Speaker 1: with the other side over a simple l in a word.
Speaker 1: Do you think this is the way you want to
Speaker 1: see the world in? Yeah? I think so. Okay, go
Speaker 1: back to it. I'm here, He's god damn bull fiends.
Speaker 1: There's two of them right there. Once you step up now,
Speaker 1: I don't specifically want to fight you over this. You're
Speaker 1: bigger than I, begger than everybody here, everybody here. But
Speaker 1: let me ask you, how do you spell the word
Speaker 1: both spe Oh h h, that's not it's I don't
Speaker 1: know what to tell you. I don't know. Please stop
Speaker 1: holding my shirt set tight. Hello, everyone, Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Miriam Webster Society. We just had in from the Battle
Speaker 1: film a request to add the letter not only to
Speaker 1: the alphabet, but to the Miriam Webster Dictionary by either
Speaker 1: a show of hands or applause. It's so hard when
Speaker 1: we do the applause voting to really know, because Carrie
Speaker 1: always makes a lot of noise and I only have
Speaker 1: like I can't. Can we just do regular voting with
Speaker 1: raising of hands? Who would like by a show of
Speaker 1: hands or applause to vote with only raising of hands?
Speaker 1: And we like that by a show I think that's
Speaker 1: very good, very good. Then we will merely go with
Speaker 1: a show of hands. Who would like the letter both
Speaker 1: added to the Miriam Webster Dictionary by show of hands? Okay?
Speaker 1: Can you count out loud? Because it's hard for me.
Speaker 1: The reason I use that i'm legally blind. I wish
Speaker 1: I could. That's why I always ask. Some of the
Speaker 1: people in the audience are raising two hands and they're
Speaker 1: putting him a kind of like cactus style away from you,
Speaker 1: and nobody comes in around you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: They're doing some serious work and they're making sure that
Speaker 1: let us get put in correctly and the word just
Speaker 1: pronouncing all that in that book, So just just let
Speaker 1: into few people is that what. No, No, No, nobody
Speaker 1: in around, No nobody. I know people I recognize, Let
Speaker 1: them in. No nobody, cousins. What do you tell nobody?
Speaker 1: No one in around? Excuse me? Let me just get
Speaker 1: by you. I'm Lancaster Meriam. No, no, not nobody, nobody
Speaker 1: in around. Excuse me here part of nobody? Do you
Speaker 1: know who I am? Clearly not. I'm Dictionary Dennist, Dictionary, Diary.
Speaker 1: You got Webber and Dictionary. Look getting I am not
Speaker 1: a Webber or a Webster. Good Sir, Mercaster, Miriam, Dictionary.
Speaker 1: Excuse me? I need to mean going on there? Right,
Speaker 1: We're not let anybody go inside. I just stand. Do
Speaker 1: you know who I am? No? I don't know who
Speaker 1: anybody Bryan Britannica. Let me in there. No listen, Brian Skater,
Speaker 1: Wait a second, scatter you you're mistaking me for what
Speaker 1: are you talking with. Look there's a lot of dead people.
Speaker 1: Look at all these cars overturned and on fire. Your
Speaker 1: entire shop is smoldering ashes. Yeah, I've also overturned it
Speaker 1: on fire. I know, Pops, I know, Pops. It's gonna
Speaker 1: take a while for them for the flames to get
Speaker 1: to any part of me. That that's serious. What do
Speaker 1: you say we end this war? I say we're doing good,
Speaker 1: the two of us versus all you assholes. I think
Speaker 1: we've got something. So you don't want to end the
Speaker 1: war no way. We've taken on the merchant Marines, the Navy,
Speaker 1: your father, the coast Guard, and you're happy with this.
Speaker 1: You're happy with all this destruction you've caused. I just
Speaker 1: want to be able to say word. You keep saying.
Speaker 1: You keep seeing two of us. But who's this other
Speaker 1: person you're referring to. He's my cashier. He just had
Speaker 1: to take a break because it's California state law. Okay, Hi,
Speaker 1: slap when I slap the teeth out of you got
Speaker 1: a lucky shot hot. I'm okay. High students together around.
Speaker 1: We're going to study Earth history today. Put down, put
Speaker 1: down the all. We love planets more studying Earth history.
Speaker 1: We're Martians, but we still respect our ex neighbors. Who
Speaker 1: can tell me in a phrase why Earth ended? In
Speaker 1: a phrase that's not for the question at the end, Yes,
Speaker 1: kill yeah, Earth ended because it was stupid and filled
Speaker 1: with hate. Egg zact Lee, thank you. No. I think
Speaker 1: specifically you're referring to the both Wars. I'm sorry this
Speaker 1: guy again the Wars the world. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: on Mars. We saved what we meant? What did you say?
Speaker 1: The bol Wars? Mr and Mrs Team and thank you
Speaker 1: so much for meeting me in my office. I know
Speaker 1: it's a kind of short notice, but we wanted to
Speaker 1: let you know that Brilliant has been passing around some literature,
Speaker 1: some both literature and you know that is outlawed here
Speaker 1: on Mars. So we're not sure where he got or
Speaker 1: how he did. We just want to bring that to
Speaker 1: your attention and lets you know that he has at
Speaker 1: the moment been he's been handing out and passing around.
Speaker 1: What are you Mrs Tittuman, I mean that he has
Speaker 1: articles that will that promote both the pronunciation and the
Speaker 1: yeah yeah yeah, But how is this is our son,
Speaker 1: Brian chr It is your son, Brian? How is he
Speaker 1: sharing it? You said he's passing it around verbally and physically. Yes,
Speaker 1: he's just unsolicited handing out pamphlets or something. Yes, Mrs Teatman,
Speaker 1: that is correct, yes, right right? Do you have any
Speaker 1: evidence of this? Do you haven't? Actually do yeah? I
Speaker 1: have here right here, So if you look at this
Speaker 1: this you know, outdated Texas marrying Webster dictioner. Here, you're
Speaker 1: going to see that he's highlighted both uh and well
Speaker 1: I know we see that it's highlighting, which just there's
Speaker 1: no evidence that he did it. Do you have any
Speaker 1: videos and we do actually, and let me just pull
Speaker 1: this out of here. If you look, it's actually another
Speaker 1: Marrion Webster. I know it's strange, but if you open
Speaker 1: it up, it's a small computer. And if I just
Speaker 1: press here, mars is that took that out here? Look
Speaker 1: at that? And everybody gather around, gather around. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: got the good reading here. We're at we're at school, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I think it's time we really learned. Okay, what
Speaker 1: is it? What is it? Though? Let's learn the truth
Speaker 1: about the both wars tell us And it goes on
Speaker 1: like that for about a half hour more and we
Speaker 1: have different angles and different encounters. So I mean, it's there,
Speaker 1: it's there. We just want to bring this to your attention. Man. Well,
Speaker 1: I just see your son having a conversation I don't
Speaker 1: really seem corrupting you stupid having a conversation that destroyed
Speaker 1: the earth and forces. What is your issue with us? Son,
Speaker 1: And why did you call us in? You know, my
Speaker 1: husband is having a conversation that destroyed the Earth and
Speaker 1: he's bringing it to Mars. What is your problem though?
Speaker 1: It destroyed Earth? Right? Well, we just hear phone Mars.
Speaker 1: I mean just just by the sginn of our teeth.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's almost no chance of us. You want
Speaker 1: to play the blame. Sounds like we're spending a lot
Speaker 1: of time in this Martian classroom debating Earth history a
Speaker 1: defunct planet. Okay, al right, can't we learn a little
Speaker 1: more Martian history? Okay? Mr Tetaman, Okay, you want to
Speaker 1: just blame my son, that's what I'm here. I'm not
Speaker 1: blaming yourself. I'm just telling you what's happening. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: thanks for the heads up. You're welcome. Principal Skinner talk
Speaker 1: to you quickly, Sinner, you let the teetamans really run
Speaker 1: a hot type up your alley? Then, yes, serted, And
Speaker 1: you feel good about yourself? Or do you feel poorly
Speaker 1: about yourself? With one? I feel I feel poor? All right,
Speaker 1: That's all I wanted to ask you. I wanted to
Speaker 1: tell you something good. Good job, thank thank you, thank you, sir.
Speaker 1: I want to give you a raise. You know, it's
Speaker 1: just because, is there? Butter No, I just like to
Speaker 1: end my sentences. So I have a razor that does
Speaker 1: seemed to don't We will not know if he got
Speaker 1: the rais or what the raise was. See three comes
Speaker 1: from Patrie macholm maniac Nicholas mark Our not deprived, but
Speaker 1: there is there any clue about when Kevin will be back.
Speaker 1: I'm asking because we do have an ongoing conversation about
Speaker 1: good and bad comedy and performers. What, of course, we
Speaker 1: don't talk about anyone on the team, and especially not you,
Speaker 1: Joey m Well, here's my scene suggestion, back stabbing son
Speaker 1: of a bitch, nothing but respect, Nicola. I'll take a
Speaker 1: bud light please, all right? Would you like that in
Speaker 1: a bottle? And or a can? Sir? Bottles? Fine things?
Speaker 1: All right, I'm sorry, I just realized I said and
Speaker 1: or I I meant a bottle or I can forgive me.
Speaker 1: Here is one bottle of miklob like for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that'll do. Hey, cheers, cheers, do you sir? M hmm.
Speaker 1: Smooth and refreshing, Yeah, smooth and refreshing. It's not miklobe. Oh, ship.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, oh ship ship. I just gotta raise baby,
Speaker 1: I just gotta all the drinks on me. Everybody who's
Speaker 1: drinking right now? All on as you h alright, step
Speaker 1: in my office and close the door behind you. We're
Speaker 1: talking to raise today. Okay, so close the door behind you,
Speaker 1: all right, I sit down, all right? So then that race,
Speaker 1: Oh it gets better. You don't even know what happened next. Man,
Speaker 1: always it sounds like he was about to stick something
Speaker 1: in your button? What but what what do you think?
Speaker 1: What do you mean by that? You agree with him?
Speaker 1: Why you were playing giving the race? You made him
Speaker 1: sound like all sex stup? No, hold on, I know
Speaker 1: I'm talking about some hot pipes, alright, but the door
Speaker 1: but let me just all right, story, let me do this.
Speaker 1: I can double your pay double. But he's so intense,
Speaker 1: it's very rape. It's very third. Shut the door behind you,
Speaker 1: and then double. It's like, okay, come on, So what
Speaker 1: did he say? What do you say? All you have? Okay? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So the whole way I mean, I mean, it was
Speaker 1: a raise, It was a race. It was raised monitory
Speaker 1: or in his paloon? Was yeah? No, it was monitory okay, okay?
Speaker 1: Was its Okay, okay, tell me two co workers to fire.
Speaker 1: You'll take their wages and do their work. Wait what,
Speaker 1: Holy sh it, I can't believe he said that. Fu Wait, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you said yesterday. I think so. Just remember you're screaming
Speaker 1: and yelling about did you raise and buying everybody's drink.
Speaker 1: Just keep your voices down a little bit. My son
Speaker 1: is calling me. Hello, you got what when? Okay, bye, Sorry,
Speaker 1: I gotta go home. Guys, my son just got fired
Speaker 1: on it. Wait wait where did your son work at
Speaker 1: the market? Okay, emotionally, don't know how to deal with
Speaker 1: this right now. I just gotta go be with I'm
Speaker 1: just going to leave. I think we should lock the door.
Speaker 1: I have a little conversation with this guy. That's fair.
Speaker 1: You guys are gonna give me a race. That's gonna look. Man,
Speaker 1: you came in here very excited. We were excited for you.
Speaker 1: Come on, we're all cheering for you. I bought everyone
Speaker 1: everyone around drink. Then, uh, we're taking hot pipe action
Speaker 1: all of it. We're having a good time. I thought
Speaker 1: it was a good time, and then we find out
Speaker 1: you're getting people's sons fight. Hey, it's just it's just
Speaker 1: the market. That's how it goes. I don't know what
Speaker 1: to not your response? Should I get another drink? Can
Speaker 1: I get another drink? Yeah? Yeah, what would you like
Speaker 1: to wait? Don't serve this, don't serve this guy. Look,
Speaker 1: I have one job here, man, it's to serve drinks.
Speaker 1: If people want to drink, I serve drinks. I can't
Speaker 1: fall on one side of the fence of the But
Speaker 1: you gotta get back to your son. You said you
Speaker 1: had to he different. I'm a different guy. I'm a
Speaker 1: different guy. Wait a minute, Holy sh it, I just
Speaker 1: realized something. When I was four, my father told me
Speaker 1: that he had thought I had been born a twin,
Speaker 1: but they didn't watch me carefully, and then may have
Speaker 1: been two of me. And what the guy who just
Speaker 1: left here? Did he have this birthmark? Does anyone know
Speaker 1: who like right above his navel? Check this out? Is
Speaker 1: that Florence Henderson? That's Florence Henderson. Yeah, my god, I
Speaker 1: just don't understand. They said I was doing a job
Speaker 1: at the market. They said that they might even promote me,
Speaker 1: and then they just like pull the rug out from
Speaker 1: underre Okay, I don't know, son, I kind of have
Speaker 1: an idea of what might have happened. But how would
Speaker 1: you know? I was at the bar getting a free
Speaker 1: drink from a guy, the bar next to the market. Yes,
Speaker 1: we thought this guy had gotten the hot pipe up
Speaker 1: his cheaster, but apparently that I know. It's funny. It's funny,
Speaker 1: it's funny. I'm sad. I can't up laughing at the presban.
Speaker 1: It turns out that that guy might be the reason
Speaker 1: that you're now sitting at Crisscross Apple Sauce on this
Speaker 1: plush carpet telling me that you've been fine. I took
Speaker 1: my chair with took my chair those pastards, son. I've
Speaker 1: never said this to you before. When I was young,
Speaker 1: I had a twin brother. What when I was young,
Speaker 1: I had a twin brother. No, I heard it. I
Speaker 1: believe it. I couldn't either. Two years ago, I've been
Speaker 1: going to that bar every day thinking that the bartender
Speaker 1: might be my twin brother. If it is, he'll take
Speaker 1: care of this guy for you. Okay, Well, there's no
Speaker 1: way that he has a Florence interson birthmark. Let you do.
Speaker 1: There's only three ways to find out one as so,
Speaker 1: you feel good about yourself, You feel good about getting
Speaker 1: the money when these other people are losing their jobs. This,
Speaker 1: this makes you feel happy, This makes you feel generous.
Speaker 1: You come in here, you want to buy a drinks.
Speaker 1: You think this is a good time. You know what
Speaker 1: you are, I'll say it. You're an s ob No, yeah,
Speaker 1: add to that. I know I'm a bartender. I don't
Speaker 1: usually uh give my opinion. You're back stabbing, sob boom,
Speaker 1: there you go labeled. All right, you need me to
Speaker 1: fill in while you go check on your son. Me. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: you don't have children. I don't have a different guy.
Speaker 1: I'm a different guy. That's a different guy. But first
Speaker 1: of all, back stabbing SLB. I don't need you to
Speaker 1: stand up for me to tell him who I am.
Speaker 1: I want. I'm standing up at least my backs in
Speaker 1: front of you. WHOA wait a minute, you say you
Speaker 1: got that raised with this kind of snappy panther. Let
Speaker 1: me tell you something right now. The markets are rough place,
Speaker 1: and people who get fired they get fired because they
Speaker 1: deserve to be fired. Okay, all right, you're talking about
Speaker 1: this man's son. Excuse him. It's a different night. It
Speaker 1: is not my son. I'm sorry to interrupted. I was
Speaker 1: at the market next door. Do you know if it's
Speaker 1: still open because all the lights are on, but nobody
Speaker 1: is IB has had any of the booths you worked there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what do you need? You know, let's get you a drinks.
Speaker 1: Get drinks? Would you like it? Budweiser, Like, I just
Speaker 1: need to get some greens for a Christmas salad. We'll
Speaker 1: have a drink first, Hey, dad, Um. At school, everyone
Speaker 1: is talking about what their dad's do for a living.
Speaker 1: And Tommy's dad's a firefighter and Steve's dad is an astronaut.
Speaker 1: And I told him I'm very proud that my dad
Speaker 1: is the manager of the market. Well, that's nice of you.
Speaker 1: You should have said boss boss on so and I
Speaker 1: am boss. Yeah, boss of the market, Boss of the market, Boston,
Speaker 1: the market. That's really cool, you know what I like?
Speaker 1: Because they were saying, well, Tommy's dad who's a firefighter,
Speaker 1: he saves people's lives. And Steve's dead who's the astronaut,
Speaker 1: he's trying to save all humanities lives by I said,
Speaker 1: I said, my dad get these things, my dead can get.
Speaker 1: What you're not realizing is those people are saving stuff
Speaker 1: that I've provided in the first place. People have livelihoods
Speaker 1: and things that they want to protect the house because
Speaker 1: I'm selling it at the market, so without me, they're
Speaker 1: just nobody's. That's like, get me a hug. One day,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be the boss of the market. I am.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, epotism. Where are the greens? And why do
Speaker 1: you smell like beer? What the hell is this? Know?
Speaker 1: I know we're supposed to have a Christmas salad, but
Speaker 1: where is the where the green? Look? Hey, you look good?
Speaker 1: Look good christ fucking morning. The Mord's name in main
Speaker 1: and the Christmas don't frank the Lord's name Jesus, Duncan.
Speaker 1: I'd go myself. Stop saying Christmas. Okay, every Christmas you
Speaker 1: get a hammer out of your ass. And you can't
Speaker 1: do the one fucking thing I asked. You can't do
Speaker 1: the one thing I asked, go down to the market.
Speaker 1: You're gonna go back, You're gonna so you better fucking walk.
Speaker 1: I walked to the market. I don't care. Hey, duncan
Speaker 1: you go into the market right now, buddy? Yet I
Speaker 1: wouldn't walk down that way. There's a lot of glass
Speaker 1: on the ground here. You should care. It's extremely glassy
Speaker 1: out tonight. Here, take the teas in my car. Duncan.
Speaker 1: We're neighbors in France. All right, you're a good neighbor.
Speaker 1: A Merry Christmas to you, buddy. All right, hey dunkey,
Speaker 1: you're gonna get in there, girl. Yeah. I wouldn't recommend it,
Speaker 1: my man, I wouldn't recommend it. Not tonight, Not tonight. Why,
Speaker 1: Officer Curt, Well, there's a lot of low hanging bars.
Speaker 1: You're driving in a certain amount of speed. It's gonna
Speaker 1: chet your heaf here. Just take my horse. It'll jump
Speaker 1: over those bars here. You're gonna take that horse somewhere.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about it. Would not recommending, my friend,
Speaker 1: would not recommend. There's a lot of cliff in mouth
Speaker 1: out there at night. I might have got it already.
Speaker 1: I kissed this horse. Take my scooter. Take my scooter.
Speaker 1: I'll take the scooter. Did you take your horse? I'll
Speaker 1: take the horse back that way with the office. Now
Speaker 1: you take the man. Christmas spirit of this town is crazy.
Speaker 1: You're gonna ride that scooter. I was saying about it.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do it. Why. What's going on the way
Speaker 1: your knees hang out to the side. Yeah, well, what
Speaker 1: if a kid comes out with a little bad knocks
Speaker 1: you were your favorite getting side? This toaster makes bacon?
Speaker 1: Was this? Mrs Miguel, We found your husband's toasted body.
Speaker 1: What a mile away from the market. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: he's fine, he's just toasted like he smells. You're not neighbor, right,
Speaker 1: You're not neigh No, no, no, no, I'm not. Oh
Speaker 1: does your neighbor have Do you mind if I pull
Speaker 1: up my shirt and just my pants down the lower
Speaker 1: my pelpac you can get a good side of my stomach. Sure? Yeah.
Speaker 1: Does your neighbor have this birth month? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god. You seriously you haven't
Speaker 1: answered me. Does your neighbor have this birth month? Yes,
Speaker 1: yes he does. Your neighbor might be Mike brother. Is
Speaker 1: my husband dead? No? No, no, he is toasted and
Speaker 1: he's smelling delicious. Oh my god, think what are you
Speaker 1: doing in this bar? I just gave you a raise
Speaker 1: to work for two other people. This is the guy
Speaker 1: to fight everybody, all right, and I'm the boss. You
Speaker 1: named the two people and that's why they got fired.
Speaker 1: This is the asshole that fired. Then say you fired
Speaker 1: both of them. That's not the way you say that.
Speaker 1: That's the way I say that word. Hey, what what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do right now is you're fired. Because you're
Speaker 1: you're fired. You yeah, you talk about duneto no rais
Speaker 1: okay because you at the bar. I've had people coming
Speaker 1: in looking for greens all day long and I had
Speaker 1: to say, oh, well there's nobody works here but you
Speaker 1: you're fired. Well, I'm a boss. I don't do so
Speaker 1: you You told people to leave for from a sale
Speaker 1: because I bus maybe I should stick around. That's not
Speaker 1: a good business bar. This is no way to work.
Speaker 1: You were supposed to do the work of two people.
Speaker 1: That's why they got fired. Instead, you celebrated at the bar.
Speaker 1: Good new son, you're would I now take as your uncle?
Speaker 1: Just call from the bar. Really, they got your job back.
Speaker 1: This is the greatest Christmas Evering bats outside singing shout
Speaker 1: for today. Let's go back to the fearlessness and yes
Speaker 1: and chure of Craig's drunk. He just went with the flow.
Speaker 1: Just say yes to each new vehicle, thinking about it.
Speaker 1: You're gonna take this thinking about it, thinking about it. Uh.
Speaker 1: Let's start our thank you with Mr James Heeney. James
Speaker 1: from the Black Void, Where are you? And how does
Speaker 1: that lighting work? I'm on the cover of the Doors album.
Speaker 1: Uh and yeah, and it's nice here. It's lonely without
Speaker 1: the members of the Doors. Um. But yeah and uh.
Speaker 1: You can check me out this season on YouTube at
Speaker 1: game Front. Okay, excellent. Um. I checked with our our
Speaker 1: engineering producer of the Stars to make sure this episode
Speaker 1: would drop after our live show at the Wedsnide Comedy Theater.
Speaker 1: But and that was fun, wasn't it. I can't believe
Speaker 1: Gary joined us. It was really a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: Uh and I had a great time. Guys. Actually the
Speaker 1: doctor says it will heal and that's good to the
Speaker 1: right doctor, James. Thanks very much, good luck with game Front.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Dr Chris Alvarado. I just want to say
Speaker 1: I don't think I mean the Doors is right, James,
Speaker 1: but I think you're this is more. You're more of
Speaker 1: like a Fuji's FOI La la la. That's all I got,
Speaker 1: you know what. I love everybody. Um uh. So this
Speaker 1: has dropped after our live show, but maybe before our
Speaker 1: San Francisco Sketch first show Sketch Best January nine pm.
Speaker 1: That's a Sunday one pm. Check us out. I've already
Speaker 1: heard from a couple of of our friends that are
Speaker 1: that are going to be there, which is exciting. So
Speaker 1: you're exciting addition to our cast. Were you going to
Speaker 1: mention that that's right, that's right. I wasn't going to
Speaker 1: mention it. Um um Jessica, Well everybody dirty, low down.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so she'll be joining us. That'll be exciting,
Speaker 1: you know. So our show was on the ninth, and
Speaker 1: then just tonight we get married on the twenty nine.
Speaker 1: So it's just it's just this is a lot. It's
Speaker 1: a lot happening there. We hope to see December or
Speaker 1: the twenty ninth of January, of January, because our show
Speaker 1: is January nine. Yeah, way to track that, James. And
Speaker 1: so Chris, you're inviting everyone all the listeners is what? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: everybody can come. Everybody can come. And I'm I'm looking
Speaker 1: at you, Swan Drizzle. I'm talking Chris b A. I
Speaker 1: want the hits, you know what I mean? Of course,
Speaker 1: to show up. That's that's what we want. Very cool
Speaker 1: weddings at Joey's house. Gary Anthony Williams, thank you to
Speaker 1: man being here, my friend. It is my absolute American pleasure.
Speaker 1: I will be up there at that San Francisco but
Speaker 1: I'll be there a couple of days before you guys
Speaker 1: are with my group, the black version, I think on
Speaker 1: the seventh. Hey, if it's still the Holidays when you
Speaker 1: hear this, I am. I think Disney's first black Santa
Speaker 1: in the movie Christmas Again on Disney as well as
Speaker 1: Disney Plus watch it with a white child. It's called
Speaker 1: Michigan Christmas Again. That's so cool. That's the tagline. Gregkkowski,
Speaker 1: thank you so damn much for being here. Oh my pleasure.
Speaker 1: Kevin James, I think it's the Queen two album cover
Speaker 1: you're thinking of. Yeah, that too. And John Wilkes Booth
Speaker 1: of course murdered. I was testing the group by saying
Speaker 1: Edwin Booth, though I'm not sure why man be Ale
Speaker 1: accepted it as an answer. Um, but Edwin Booth of
Speaker 1: course was John's brother, and I was just wanted to
Speaker 1: kind of cross promote the Drunk History episode from season
Speaker 1: one where we covered the Booth brothers, Edwin and John
Speaker 1: Booth played by Adam Scott and Will Forte. Yeah, thank
Speaker 1: you for that. Thank you for all of that. Joey Dreer,
Speaker 1: I want to piggyback on that. And John Wilkes Booth
Speaker 1: was held at the dry Tortugas and the largest brick
Speaker 1: building I believe in America in the Americas, and it's
Speaker 1: they call it dry on in the island because it
Speaker 1: means there's no natural water and they abandoned it. And
Speaker 1: he was the only prisoner. Actually I think it was
Speaker 1: him and the doctor who who helped him, but the
Speaker 1: doctor's name yuh. So it's a national park also the
Speaker 1: tom Cruise of his day. He was a giant, giant
Speaker 1: acting star on the on the level of a what
Speaker 1: we would consider to be a giant movie star today.
Speaker 1: It was John Wilkes Booth. Uh, his own stunts that
Speaker 1: his own stunts well into his and ran weird well
Speaker 1: enthusiastically every play he was sprinting. He's up front. Let's
Speaker 1: thank our engineer Pruce, of the stars, Mr Doug Baye,
Speaker 1: the fine folks that I heart media. So great to
Speaker 1: be back. Thank you for all your concerns and your emails,
Speaker 1: and uh please be kind to each other. Happy holidays everybody,
Speaker 1: until next time.