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Speaker 1: Coming up on you need therapy.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna have to make some fundamental changes. I mean

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Speaker 2: all the way, from how I treat my body, to

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Speaker 2: how I treat my mind, to the things that I

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Speaker 2: believe about myself, to moving out of my comfort zone

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Speaker 2: of I don't know, being a bit more confident in

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Speaker 2: my strengths and gifts and abilities, to you know, just

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Speaker 2: making the choice to eat breakfast in the morning. I

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Speaker 2: started to realize that not being an expert isn't a liability,

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Speaker 2: it's a real gift. If we don't know something about

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Speaker 2: ourselves at this point in our life, it's probably because

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Speaker 2: it's uncomfortable to know. If you can die before you die,

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Speaker 2: then you can really live. There's a wisdom at death's door.

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Speaker 3: I thought I was insane.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I didn't know what to do because there

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Speaker 2: was no internet.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, man, I'm like, I feel like everything

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Speaker 3: is hard. Hey, y'all, my name is I'm a human

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Speaker 3: first and a licensed therapist second. And right now I'm

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Speaker 3: inviting you into conversations that I hope encourage you to

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Speaker 3: become more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others, and

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Speaker 3: the world around you.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to You Need Therapy.

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Speaker 3: Hi guys, and welcome to another beautiful Monday episode of

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Speaker 3: You Need Therapy podcast. My name is kat I am

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Speaker 3: the host, and quick reminder before we get into anything,

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Speaker 3: although this is a podcast hosted by a therapist, it

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Speaker 3: does not serve as a replacement or a substitute for

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Speaker 3: any mental health services. However, we always hope that it

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Speaker 3: helps you along whatever journey you're on, and I don't

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Speaker 3: really have to hope with this one. I know that

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Speaker 3: this episode is going to impact anybody who is actually

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Speaker 3: listening to it. You are in for a treat today.

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Speaker 3: Mike Foster is joining us on the podcast. And if

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Speaker 3: you are an avid listener of You Need Therapy, you

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Speaker 3: have heard me reference Mike Foster one, two, maybe, three, four,

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Speaker 3: five times. He is a counselor. He is a former

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Speaker 3: podcast host. His podcast is Fun Therapy. You can still

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Speaker 3: go listen to all the episodes. Two of the most

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Speaker 3: memorable podcast episodes I've ever listened to are of his,

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Speaker 3: and they are I think they're from twenty seventeen. You

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Speaker 3: can look them up. One is with John Acuff and

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Speaker 3: one was with Annie f Downs. They were very important

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Speaker 3: in my life when I listened to them. So he

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Speaker 3: is a former podcast host, he is a speaker, he

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Speaker 3: is an author, and he is an all around from

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Speaker 3: what I gathered in my experience of being with him,

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Speaker 3: an amazing human. And I was actually very lucky to

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Speaker 3: be able to talk to him right after the launch

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Speaker 3: of his new book, The Seven Primal Questions, and y'all,

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Speaker 3: like I said, you're in for a treat. This was

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Speaker 3: such a cool interview for me because Mike has been

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Speaker 3: somebody I've I feel weird saying this, I feel like

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Speaker 3: a fan girl, but he's somebody that I've been looking

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Speaker 3: up to from afar, from instagram land for years, and

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Speaker 3: I was happily surprised, a little shocked that he agreed

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Speaker 3: to come on the show and talk with me. And

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Speaker 3: I did actually text my friend right after our interview,

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Speaker 3: and I was like, I feel like I was just

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Speaker 3: a fangirl meeting like Taylor Swift backstage. And the cool

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Speaker 3: thing is his wisdom and his graciousness and how he

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Speaker 3: showed up really did live up to the hype of

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Speaker 3: what I had imagined him to be and what I

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Speaker 3: hoped for, So I really appreciate that he felt very authentic,

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Speaker 3: which you guys will pick up on. This interview is

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Speaker 3: going to leave you connecting so many dots as it

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Speaker 3: was for me. It's going to leave you wanting to

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Speaker 3: ask so many more questions to yourself, to the people

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Speaker 3: in your life, maybe to Mike. And we started chatting

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Speaker 3: about how he got to be where he is and

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Speaker 3: what led him to do the work he's doing. Then

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Speaker 3: we spent some time talking about an Instagram post that

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Speaker 3: he put up that had a profound impact on me,

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Speaker 3: and then he blew me away with what is what

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Speaker 3: he is teaching in his new book, The Seven Primal Questions,

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Speaker 3: and the book is described as a simple way of

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Speaker 3: seeing your hidden programming, emotional needs, and supernatural gifts in

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Speaker 3: a transparent way. And we talk about it for the

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Speaker 3: bulk of the episode. I already ordered five of them,

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Speaker 3: so I ordered them. Nobody's giving me these for free,

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Speaker 3: I am telling you I this conversation left me so

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Speaker 3: excited that I immediately went and was like, I need

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Speaker 3: to buy these for myself all the people that work

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Speaker 3: for me, and I need a couple lecture ones to

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Speaker 3: lend to a friend. So this is going to be

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Speaker 3: something that not only impacts my work as a therapist,

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Speaker 3: but also the work of being a human. And I

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Speaker 3: am so excited to get to share this with y'all.

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Speaker 3: I think I've said that about fifteen times already, So

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Speaker 3: let's get to it. Here is my conversation with Mike Foster.

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Speaker 1: Welcome.

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Speaker 3: I'm so so excited to be talking to you today.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Thanks, So I'm excited to connect with you too.

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Speaker 3: So what's funny is I have podcast, this podcast, and

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Speaker 3: it's called You Need Therapy, and I'm a therapist. But

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Speaker 3: I started this podcast after listening to your podcast years

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Speaker 3: and years ago. Well I guess not years, it feels

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Speaker 3: forever ago. But the reason I really really wanted to

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Speaker 3: have you on two things. I didn't know you were

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Speaker 3: coming out with a new book, which is very exciting

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Speaker 3: that this is the time I get to talk to you.

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Speaker 3: But there were two podcasts that you had on Fun Therapy,

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Speaker 3: two episodes that they're like five years old, but I

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Speaker 3: still referenced them all the time. One was with John

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Speaker 3: Acuff and one was with Annie f Downs. I still

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Speaker 3: reference things that you said and they both said.

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Speaker 1: In those episodes.

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Speaker 3: And then in January you posted something on Instagram. It's

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Speaker 3: weird betiming of things. It was so impactful also to

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Speaker 3: multiple people in my life, like all to It's like

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Speaker 3: we all needed to read that together. So that was

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Speaker 3: the initial reason why I wanted to talk to you

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Speaker 3: and get to meet you. And now we get to

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Speaker 3: also talk about your book. But I was thinking about

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Speaker 3: all that and what I wanted to start with, and

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Speaker 3: I think the best way to start this conversation is

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Speaker 3: just for my own selfish desire, is to hear a

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Speaker 3: little bit about how you got to where you are.

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Speaker 3: So a therapist, counselors, you have a podcast, you're an author,

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Speaker 3: you're a speaker, you host all of these workshops, But

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Speaker 3: how did you get to this chair that you're in?

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Speaker 2: I think, you know, it's so much of what we

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Speaker 2: do in our life, especially whether it's career. I think

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Speaker 2: our priorities or the kind of work that we want

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Speaker 2: to do is so informed by our own story, right,

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Speaker 2: And most of it's informed by our story of pain.

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Speaker 2: And so I think for me, I had a lot

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Speaker 2: of pain in my early childhood that I spent a

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Speaker 2: lot of years trying to figure out what it meant

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Speaker 2: and how it was impacting me. And as I began

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Speaker 2: to slowly heal from that and get understanding and awareness

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Speaker 2: and new freedom around my own pain. I think that

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Speaker 2: the natural desire for all of us is then to

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Speaker 2: invite others into the things that we've experienced. And so

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Speaker 2: I think for sure kind of where I landed is

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Speaker 2: because of my story. I would say my mission, my

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Speaker 2: mission in life is to blow up environments of denial.

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Speaker 2: And that's really because I grew up in a context

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Speaker 2: of great denial, of great pretending. And so I think

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Speaker 2: about the very core of my mission, and when I

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Speaker 2: say denial, it's like whether really helping people see truth

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Speaker 2: right and to embrace it and to step into it

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Speaker 2: and to tell truth because truth is such a powerful

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Speaker 2: liberating force. I found that to be true in my life.

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Speaker 2: We say to my client's life, and the denial could be, hey,

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Speaker 2: it's just the way I think about myself, or the

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Speaker 2: way that I see certain relationship or the way I

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Speaker 2: see my past. There might be a lot of like

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Speaker 2: denial around that. And if we can just come in

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Speaker 2: and maybe turn up the lights and blow away the

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Speaker 2: fog a little bit and see truth, like, that's just

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Speaker 2: such a powerful transformative thing. So I think for me, fundamentally,

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Speaker 2: it all starts at the beginning of what like those

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Speaker 2: big imprints of how the pain of those imprints, the

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Speaker 2: trauma of those imprints, the processing of those imprints, and

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Speaker 2: then really creating the mission from that to say I

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Speaker 2: want to help others not be stuck and what I

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Speaker 2: was stuck in for too many years of my own life.

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Speaker 3: You know what is interesting is hearing you say that

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Speaker 3: and knowing how I the path that led me to

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Speaker 3: become a therapist is I hear over and over from

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Speaker 3: either clients, which it's really cool when you have a

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Speaker 3: client and they come to therapy and then they're like,

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Speaker 3: I think I want to be a therapist. Is a

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Speaker 3: really cool experience. But I hear so often through client

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Speaker 3: and then just through people that I've met through the podcast,

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Speaker 3: is well, I could never be a therapist or in

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Speaker 3: these helping professions because of my stuff. And I think

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Speaker 3: it comes from a place of not knowing all of

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Speaker 3: the insides of the helper and you seem to have

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Speaker 3: it all together or you know all of this, you know,

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Speaker 3: you know the right things to say. I don't know

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Speaker 3: how why I thought this, just because I didn't know

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Speaker 3: any better. I thought therapists like had programmed like things

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Speaker 3: that they said to every client, like it just you.

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Speaker 3: You were taught what to say. And then I like

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Speaker 3: got to school and I was like, wait, so we

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Speaker 3: have to like kind of come up with it ourselves.

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Speaker 3: But I love hearing you say that, Like this journey

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Speaker 3: where I am it came from obviously, this place where

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Speaker 3: I felt pain. Then I found some sort of healing,

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Speaker 3: and then I realized, oh, I can help people then

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Speaker 3: come into this place that I know, And I'm curious

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Speaker 3: this as a human being but also as a male,

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Speaker 3: is the path from pain to healing?

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Speaker 1: What was that?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: Was therapy a thing in your life? Did you?

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Speaker 3: Did you go to therapy? Was it a mentor?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 3: How did you get to a place from paying to

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Speaker 3: this healing process?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I think it's a couple of key things that

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Speaker 2: happened to me on my journey. A lot of the

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Speaker 2: work that I do with people right now is around

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Speaker 2: experiential therapy psychodrama, because that again was sort of my

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Speaker 2: pathway to really understanding myself. I went to a six

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Speaker 2: day program of group therapy all day and it was

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Speaker 2: all psychodrama and experiential stuff, and it was incredibly powerful

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Speaker 2: for me to understand the forces that were happening inside

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Speaker 2: of me what it meant, got that clarity, and then

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Speaker 2: really felt incredibly empowered to live a different way from

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Speaker 2: that experience. I go to two hours of therapy a

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Speaker 2: month myself. I do that because I believe it's important

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Speaker 2: to do that type of work. It just benefits every

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Speaker 2: aspect of my life, whether it be my marriage, or

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Speaker 2: me personally or me as a dad. It's really important.

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Speaker 2: And the other thing I do. The thing I say

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Speaker 2: is that I pay them to listen to me, because

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Speaker 2: most of my posture in the world is listening to

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Speaker 2: others and I love getting to do that Monday through Friday.

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Speaker 2: But I also have to talk. I also have to

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Speaker 2: like just have somebody hold space for me. So that's

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Speaker 2: that's incredibly important. So there was like the therapy, the

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Speaker 2: kind of the intensives, some of those big moments that happen.

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Speaker 2: But I also think the other part of this for

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Speaker 2: me was at some point in our lives and at

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Speaker 2: some point in our journey, we get just get sick

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Speaker 2: and tired of agreeing with our pain. And I got

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Speaker 2: to the point where it's like this fundamentally doesn't work

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Speaker 2: for me, and I understand why I was there, I

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Speaker 2: had great compassion for my choices and my coping mechanisms

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Speaker 2: and all those things. It's like it wasn't a sense

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Speaker 2: of like anger at myself, but it was I had

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Speaker 2: to have sort of this honest conversation with Mike Foster

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Speaker 2: and say, do you want to continue to live this

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Speaker 2: way for the next you know, thirty or forty years.

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Speaker 2: My answer to that was no. And because my answer

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Speaker 2: was no, it compelled me to say, Okay, then we're

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Speaker 2: gonna have to make some fundamental changes. I mean all

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Speaker 2: the way from how I treat my body, to how

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Speaker 2: I treat my mind, to the things that I believe

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Speaker 2: about myself, to moving out of my comfort zone of

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Speaker 2: I don't know, being a bit more confident in my

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Speaker 2: strengths and gifts and abilities, to you know, just making

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Speaker 2: the choice to eat breakfast in the morning. It's like,

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Speaker 2: I so much of my I think, dysfunctional choices in

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Speaker 2: my life I was living in my pain was like

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Speaker 2: very antagonistic relationship towards my physical self, so like want

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Speaker 2: and eat till two o'clock in the afternoon, didn't exercise,

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Speaker 2: you know, slept like crap like things like that. So

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Speaker 2: those are I would say smaller things that we don't

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Speaker 2: really think about in terms of therapy, or you know,

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Speaker 2: how do we get through our pain? But they are

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Speaker 2: really important choices that I made, and say, listen, I

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Speaker 2: have got the fundamentally change what I'm doing if I

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Speaker 2: want a different outcome.

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Speaker 3: I thought you were going to say instead of we

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Speaker 3: get sick and tired of agreeing with our pain. I

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Speaker 3: thought you were going to finish that we get sick

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Speaker 3: and tired of being sick and tired, because I hear

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Speaker 3: that all the time.

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Speaker 1: But hearing you.

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Speaker 3: Say we get tired of agreeing with our pain feels

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Speaker 3: so much more like I have a choice in this,

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Speaker 3: like I can shift something and I'm sitting here. Obviously,

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Speaker 3: I very much appreciate you saying that you go to

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Speaker 3: therapy sometimes because you just want to talk and not

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Speaker 3: listen all the time. And that's one skill that I've

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Speaker 3: had to develop of being really present and then holding

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Speaker 3: my stuff for later. So sometimes in these conversations, my

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Speaker 3: head is, how does this apply to me?

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Speaker 1: How's this applying to me?

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Speaker 3: And it didn't feel like it was a active choice

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Speaker 3: to make changes to stop doing those things that at

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Speaker 3: one time were helpful, but then we're hurting me. But

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Speaker 3: hearing you say that, I'm like that was an active

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Speaker 3: choice because I eventually said this benefit that I keep

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Speaker 3: convincing myself I'm gonna get is never coming and I'm exhausted,

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Speaker 3: and so I'm gonna go do something about it. And yes,

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Speaker 3: we have to blow up the denial, and that's terrifying

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Speaker 3: and scary, but the same time, to not have to

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Speaker 3: go back into that, well here, let's try it again.

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Speaker 1: Let's try it again. Let's see if it feels better today.

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Speaker 3: Let's see if we get that thing today is the

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Speaker 3: best thing I think that I and I've seen other

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Speaker 3: people do for themselves in their lives. That's going to

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Speaker 3: be a note for me and something that I write

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Speaker 3: is at some point point, you got to get tired

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Speaker 3: of agreeing with your pain. Okay, So I would like to,

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Speaker 3: if it's okay with you, I want to read the

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Speaker 3: post that I thought was so meaningful.

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Speaker 1: It's long.

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Speaker 3: Do you like people reading your writing to you?

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm totally fascinated, Like what post of the hundreds

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Speaker 2: of posts of the last few months? Yeah, six months,

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Speaker 2: I'm really curious.

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Speaker 1: You can maybe guess it.

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Speaker 3: As I preface this, but My motto for the past

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Speaker 3: like six months has been and I've talked about it

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Speaker 3: a lot on this podcast and on my friend's podcast

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Speaker 3: that I co host with her, and it's been trying

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Speaker 3: as cool, Like that has been my motto.

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people.

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Speaker 3: Which goes into why I liked this post so much.

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Speaker 3: A lot of people in my life, even just in

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Speaker 3: my personal life, they think that I just do well

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Speaker 3: at the things that I do, But it's just because

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Speaker 3: they see me doing well at the things.

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Speaker 1: That I share with them.

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Speaker 3: And there are so many things that I've wanted to

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Speaker 3: do that I've been in the back of my head,

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Speaker 3: whether it's like silly small things I want to do

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Speaker 3: on a weekend or a career thing, and so I've

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Speaker 3: made this motto for myself to say, like trying is cool,

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Speaker 3: Like that's the point. Are you familiar with the Five

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Speaker 3: Regrets of the Dying? It's yes, okay, So part of

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Speaker 3: it came from that, and one of them was I'm

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Speaker 3: summarizing this, but one of them was I wish that

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Speaker 3: I lived a life more true to myself versus the

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Speaker 3: life I thought others wanted me to live. And I

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Speaker 3: was like, I do not want to get to the

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Speaker 3: end of my life, and I don't want to say that.

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Speaker 3: All the other ones wouldn't bother me as much as that,

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Speaker 3: And so let me read this and then we'll talk

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Speaker 3: about it.

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Speaker 1: You're like, I'm picking up on it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so you wrote some thoughts on those who try.

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Speaker 3: Yesterday I was forced to cancel my Strongest Couple's workshop.

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Speaker 3: I had only one sign up, only one, and frankly,

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Speaker 3: I'm embarrassed. I promoted it, I invited lots of friends,

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Speaker 3: hundreds of people checked out the web page. My wife

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Speaker 3: and I had the food special surprises all planned out.

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Speaker 3: We were pumped, but still no one signed up. I

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Speaker 3: feel embarrassed, irritated, and frustrated with myself. I'm second guessing

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Speaker 3: my work and my message a bit. My confidence is rattled.

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Speaker 3: This is what happens when things like this happen. I

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Speaker 3: only share this because if you're a person who puts

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Speaker 3: things out in the world, you probably have experienced this

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Speaker 3: type of failure too, and when it happened to you,

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Speaker 3: you wanted to hide it away so you wouldn't look

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Speaker 3: bad or be embarrassed. For example, the book you published

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Speaker 3: that didn't sell, the event you hosted that few came

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Speaker 3: to the dream business that closed two years later. The

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Speaker 3: poem you wrote that no one understood that sure Thing

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Speaker 3: investment that collapsed, or your vulnerable Instagram posts that went unnoticed.

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Speaker 3: We're so good at looking successful but hate having mud

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Speaker 3: on our face. But failure is a sad cruelty of life,

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Speaker 3: and honestly we should share more of these moments and

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Speaker 3: a little less of our highlights. Then we wouldn't feel

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Speaker 3: so alone in all our failure. If we didn't hide

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Speaker 3: the things that didn't work, we would feel more connected,

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Speaker 3: sort of like we joined a family of people who

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Speaker 3: tried stuff and it just didn't work. The fact that

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Speaker 3: we tried makes us braver than those who didn't. Not better,

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Speaker 3: just braver and friends. That's something to be proud of.

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Speaker 3: So let's keep trying and then trying some more, because

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Speaker 3: that's what success in life.

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Speaker 1: Is all about.

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Speaker 3: I immediately sent this to like fifteen people because I

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Speaker 3: didn't know you. I just followed you, and I've heard

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Speaker 3: you on podcasts and all of that. But I am

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Speaker 3: not lying when I say I assumed that every single

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Speaker 3: thing you did, you had a waiting list for like

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Speaker 3: every single thing you did, and It wasn't this gratitude

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Speaker 3: of like, oh I'm glad that Mike Foster failed, Like

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Speaker 3: that would never be a thought in my head. But

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Speaker 3: it was like, oh, my gosh, I need to check

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Speaker 3: myself because if somebody who I think is successful and

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Speaker 3: somebody who I think would have no problem doing something

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Speaker 3: like this, if they have a struggle, then it feels

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Speaker 3: like it's more okay for me to have a struggle.

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Speaker 3: And it's something that I feel like I probably have

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Speaker 3: been preaching anyway or talking about and promoting. But then

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Speaker 3: it's like, well, I'm not successful enough to then post

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Speaker 3: those failures. That breaks this whole cycle of what you're

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Speaker 3: talking about. I love the line that said we would

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Speaker 3: have this little family and we'd feel more connected, and

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Speaker 3: then we would try more things, and then I think

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Speaker 3: we would have more of those successes that we want

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Speaker 3: to talk about. So I'm just curious, because I'm somebody

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Speaker 3: who benefited from that post, even like for you to

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Speaker 3: put that post up, because I think I would be

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Speaker 3: shaking as I was about to press post to that.

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Speaker 2: I was very very conflicted putting up that post because

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Speaker 2: in many ways, I'm exposing myself to a different perspective

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Speaker 2: on who I am and what people I think perceive

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Speaker 2: of me is he's got waiting lists of people who

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Speaker 2: want to get into his stuff, and instead of the

380
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Speaker 2: reality is some things work, some things don't work. I'm

381
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Speaker 2: insecure about certain things, I'm very confident about other things.

382
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Speaker 2: And so it's like, again, it just aligns with fundamentally

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Speaker 2: what I'm trying to do in the world is just

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Speaker 2: tell the truth. And I think there's so many opportunities

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Speaker 2: for us to tell partial truth or you know, most

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Speaker 2: of the truth, and this part of it, like the

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Speaker 2: post about those who try, was maybe the last ten

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Speaker 2: percent of the truth, okay, And I want I want

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Speaker 2: people to see all of it. And I don't do

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Speaker 2: it to get like people to necessarily think differently about me,

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Speaker 2: But I do it because I want to release something

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Speaker 2: in other people. Right, It's always about the work. It's like,

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Speaker 2: we can have this conversation right now together because I

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Speaker 2: went first and I told the truth about my own

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Speaker 2: failures of this workshop and the vulnerability and the embarrassment

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Speaker 2: of it. And that's why I believe, like fundamentally, like

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Speaker 2: if we can live in our relationships in that place

398
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Speaker 2: of like it's Okay, we're all going to be Okay,

399
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Speaker 2: we are all going to experience pain, but we're also

400
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Speaker 2: going to experience these really incredible moments of success. And

401
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Speaker 2: this is life. And I think so often the stories

402
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 2: that we're telling, or the way that we're positioning ourselves

403
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 2: or our brands or whatever we're trying to do, is

404
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 2: fundamentally moving us away from each other into isolation and performance,

405
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Speaker 2: versus bringing us together into connection through vulnerability.

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Speaker 3: So I've had this big struggle of how do I

407
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 3: promote something that I think is helpful without capitalizing on

408
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 3: or doing something that feels icky. It's such a weird place,

409
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Speaker 3: and I'm asking this to you because you're in the

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Speaker 3: same realm of business, where Like I think that there's

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Speaker 3: this assumption, and I'm part of the assumption that therapists

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Speaker 3: are just here to help people.

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Speaker 1: Period.

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Speaker 3: It's like we shouldn't make enough money to live and

415
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Speaker 3: we shouldn't have anything special, like we should just like

416
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Speaker 3: we should just be helping people. And so I struggle

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Speaker 3: with one therapy is also it's my job. It's my work,

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Speaker 3: It's how I survive. But I've struggled with how do

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Speaker 3: I because the more people we reach the more people

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Speaker 3: we can help. How do I balance that with I'm

421
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Speaker 3: now kind of it's the whole social media I don't

422
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Speaker 3: even know the right word to use, but it feels

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Speaker 3: sometimes icky where I'm like almost capitalizing on people's insecurities

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Speaker 3: or traumas or their desire to be helped.

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Speaker 2: I think it's that's where we have to just be

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Speaker 2: be very in tune with our own motivations and our

427
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 2: own desires, right, because I think we live in a

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Speaker 2: world where motivations and desires, there's a lot of corrupted

429
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 2: motivations and desires, right, And to use people, to use

430
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Speaker 2: people's pain to manipulate, like, all that kind of stuff

431
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 2: is certainly out there. I mean we see it every day.

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Speaker 2: And so when somebody with a with just a desire

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Speaker 2: to help, right, just the desire to add value to people,

434
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Speaker 2: we just have to go back there and just have

435
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Speaker 2: that gut check, like is this post, like I could say,

436
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Speaker 2: is this post about trying? Is that about me getting

437
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Speaker 2: people feeling sorry for me? Or is this an opportunity

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Speaker 2: to possibly go viral with a pose? Like I think

439
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff is where that's not serving people

440
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 2: very well. Yeah, if we can just say like, I'm

441
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 2: saying this because I think it might be helpful. Yeah,

442
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,679
Speaker 2: and those other things might happen, but yeah, the reason

443
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 2: why I do it.

444
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's something that was written on your website really

445
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 3: well that it wasn't the same words, but it was

446
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 3: something about like these like posts that we see on

447
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 3: social media are really nice, but they're not long lasting.

448
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,880
Speaker 3: And that's I think sometimes that I have to come

449
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,639
Speaker 3: back and ask myself, is this am I putting this

450
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 3: because I think people are going to repost it? Or

451
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,159
Speaker 3: do I feel like this is something I want to

452
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 3: share that sounds really important. And I think there might

453
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 3: be something in your new book that might tie into this.

454
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 3: But I was thinking about like the unconscious motivation, and well,

455
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,679
Speaker 3: I took your test on your website. Let's pull up

456
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 3: my results because I save them. So your new book,

457
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 3: the Seven Primal Questions, I want you to kind of

458
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 3: give people a cliff notes version of that. But one

459
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,040
Speaker 3: of the things that came back when I to to

460
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 3: this test on your website, it said that my two

461
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 3: primal questions could be am I loved and am I wanted?

462
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 3: Which I could talk about it forever because am I wanted?

463
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 3: Is a question and be the desire we wanted is

464
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 3: something that I have spent years talking about in therapy,

465
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 3: and so I was like, oh, wow, maybe there's something

466
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 3: to this test toass online because some of those things.

467
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, because sometimes I'm like, God, does that feel right?

468
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 3: But I was like, oh, I hate that answer, and

469
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 3: I think it's because it's right.

470
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 1: But going back to the social media thing, something I

471
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 1: have to.

472
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 3: Check is again, is this about me gaining a following

473
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 3: to have a following? Is this me gaining a following

474
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 3: so then I can reach more people for that? And

475
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 3: I have to continuously check that, and I think it

476
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:53,919
Speaker 3: hits the nail on the head because this idea of

477
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 3: me being wanted and I mean, I like want to

478
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 3: belong and I want to be invited, and I want

479
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,880
Speaker 3: people to be excited that I'm there, but I don't

480
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 3: want people to just need me. I want them to

481
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 3: want me there despite what I can do. So it's

482
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 3: like a constant battle. And so that's something that I

483
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 3: have to check. And I say all this because I

484
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 3: sometimes just need to get thoughts out of my head,

485
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 3: but also because I think that's something that a lot

486
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 3: of people might have to come back to because I

487
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 3: hear a lot of people feeling the ick about the

488
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 3: social media mental health realm maybeing one of them. But

489
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 3: if we're coming back and saying, is this about me

490
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 3: trying to heal that wound that might still be a

491
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 3: little bit open, or is this about me trying to

492
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 3: do something that feels like right and good? So tell

493
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 3: us about this book, because it sounds like it was

494
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,399
Speaker 3: incredible for the preparation to write it.

495
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 1: So I want to hear about that process.

496
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I been working on the past four years

497
00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 2: research over six thousand hours of one on one inner views.

498
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 2: I did twenty two group labs all around understanding our

499
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 2: highest emotional needs, trauma, attachment theory, kind of really diving

500
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 2: into all that and trying to summarize it in a

501
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 2: very simple way where people can you know, you don't

502
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 2: have to have a PhD. Or you don't have to

503
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 2: be a therapist. It's just a simple construct for you

504
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 2: to actually get clarity on your inner programming and how

505
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 2: you see the world, see relationships, how you see social media,

506
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 2: like all of it is informed by one of these

507
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 2: seven primal questions that I talk about in the book.

508
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 2: And basically here's how the concept works is the early

509
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 2: childhood or imprinted with a question that when unanswered or

510
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 2: was answered in a negative way in our childhood. That

511
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 2: doesn't necess have to be trauma, but it's something that's

512
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,639
Speaker 2: where a child is perhaps a little fuse and perceive

513
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,680
Speaker 2: certain experiences or certain things in their family certain way

514
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 2: that creates this question. And so then we carry this

515
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:14,120
Speaker 2: question subconsciously into our adult lives and we keep asking it.

516
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 2: And when the answer to that question, whether it's in

517
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 2: our friendships, at work, with our spouse, with society at large,

518
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 2: when the question is answered with a yes, we feel good.

519
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 2: We're our best selves. But when our primal question is

520
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 2: answered with a no or a maybe, we go into

521
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 2: what I call the scramble. And the scramble is all

522
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 2: the unhelpful things we do and maybe dysfunctional things that

523
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 2: we do, perfectionism, people pleasing, self abandonment, workaholicism, I don't know,

524
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 2: just all that stuff, right, All those things that we

525
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 2: do in the scramble is about forcing the answer back

526
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 2: to a yes. So let's take your primal question of

527
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 2: M M, I want it, and there's seven, but there

528
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 2: will be one question that drives really all of our

529
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 2: So when you feel wanted, when you feel like you belong,

530
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 2: When people are reaching out to you and people are

531
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 2: pursuing you, they're answering your primal question with a yes, okay,

532
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 2: and that feels good. But when perhaps you're ignored or

533
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 2: rejected or I don't know, just uninvited to something, you're

534
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 2: left out of the party, that's a no or a

535
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 2: maybe to your primal question of M might want it?

536
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 2: And then perhaps you go into your scramble and you're like, Okay,

537
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 2: I gotta be nicer to everybody. Now, I got to

538
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 2: razzle dazzle people, so they'll so next time they'll invite

539
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 2: me to the party. What I've found in the research

540
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 2: is it's so pore to who we are. It's so

541
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 2: significant that almost everything we every choice, every view or

542
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 2: message of what we prioritize in terms of what we

543
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 2: want people to know about themselves is centered on the

544
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 2: primal question. And here's the fun thing about this, and

545
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 2: this is what I want to really want to call

546
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 2: out in the book, is that having a primal question

547
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 2: is not a problem. The scramble is the problem. In fact,

548
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,680
Speaker 2: your primal question of am I wanted is actually a

549
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 2: gift and here's how this works. Is what we do.

550
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 2: The research shows is what we do is we take

551
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 2: our own primal question and we put it over everybody

552
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 2: else and assume they're asking the same question as we are. Now,

553
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 2: there's six other questions that they could be asking, but

554
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 2: our whole assumption is that they're asking the same question

555
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 2: as we. So your your interactions with everyone, you're seeing

556
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 2: them asking the question, am I wanted? And then you

557
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 2: make every effort to answered that question with a yes, yes,

558
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 2: and to affirm that. So you are a master. You

559
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 2: are an expert at inclusion and people feeling wanted and

560
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 2: creating belonging. This is a relational superpower that you have

561
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 2: because of your primal question, and so it's a really

562
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 2: beautiful thing where we can start leveraging that and start

563
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 2: figuring that out of how to deploy that more into

564
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 2: the world.

565
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 3: As you just said that, I was like, no, I'm not.

566
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 3: I sometimes think I can get a little bit selfish

567
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 3: because I maybe sometimes think I'm focusing too much on

568
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 3: my question. I don't know this is all coming up

569
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 3: right now, but I'm sitting here being like I'm not

570
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 3: like that. But then recently I had this huge revelation,

571
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 3: and I've had to work through this shame and guilt

572
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 3: of wishing I could go back to high school and

573
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 3: be nicer to people that didn't have friends like that

574
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 3: was such a big deal to me in some of

575
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 3: some of my own work, and that makes so much

576
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 3: sense of Like, the thing that bothers me most about

577
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 3: high school wasn't that I felt left out and or

578
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 3: I felt bad or I felt misunderstood. It was that

579
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 3: there were people that were feeling that. And I didn't

580
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 3: have the lack of ego at that point to go

581
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 3: and say, hey, do you want to sit by me

582
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 3: at lunch? Yes, because I wanted to. I was focused

583
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 3: on wanting to be wanted. And maybe that's because that

584
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 3: was a bigger no back.

585
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: Then for me.

586
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 2: What happens is if we're allowing the scramble to sort

587
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 2: of dictate our lives. It's what I call our primal

588
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 2: gift is when we put it over our question over

589
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 2: somebody else, and then a tomb in answering yes and

590
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 2: affirming that in others. If we get so caught up

591
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 2: in our scramble and answering our own question, the primal

592
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 2: gift part of your superpower of inclusion of making people

593
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 2: feel wanted is going to be diminished because you're just

594
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 2: not able to operate in health in that area. Yeah,

595
00:32:56,280 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 2: but once you know that you are wanted, okay, that

596
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 2: you don't have to live in the scramble, you actually

597
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 2: have this beautiful way of welcoming people and including people

598
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 2: and making them feel special and belong and feel like

599
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 2: they belong.

600
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 1: Yeah. Can you share with some of the other questions

601
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 1: that are in there?

602
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 2: So I'll give you an example. My primal question is

603
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 2: am I safe? That's question number one? And that is

604
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 2: because of trauma in my early childhood. So that's just

605
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 2: the need for kind of physical and emotional safety. And

606
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 2: so for much of my life, I tune around risk management.

607
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 2: I'm very hyper vigilant with details. You know. COVID nineteen

608
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 2: wasn't a great thing for somebody with an am I

609
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 2: safe question, right because they're like, oh my gosh, we're

610
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 2: all going to die, you know. And so I don't

611
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 2: do anything dangerous. I don't jump out of planes. I

612
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 2: don't you know. I'm so my whole again, my whole

613
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 2: life was making sure that my primal question isn't answered

614
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 2: with a no or I'm trying to avoid it with

615
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 2: a no. But here's also the primal gift part of that.

616
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 2: So I take my am I safe question, and I

617
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 2: put it over everybody I meet. And this is why

618
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 2: people tell me their deepest darket secrets after knowing them

619
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 2: for five minutes. Right, So it makes me a really

620
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 2: good counselor it makes me really good with moving in

621
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:19,800
Speaker 2: Like when there's conflict, perhaps I'm working with a couple

622
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:23,959
Speaker 2: and there's some real conflict and chaos, I can bring

623
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 2: my safety and protection gift into that situation and really

624
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 2: create some space for people to have more healthy dialogue

625
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 2: and actually get to a healthy solution. And so again,

626
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 2: every question has something that we have to manage. I

627
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 2: have to manage this question of am I safe, just

628
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 2: like you have to manage the question of am I wanted?

629
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 2: But the primal gifts part of like, I can't do

630
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:58,319
Speaker 2: what I do as well as I do it without

631
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 2: my primal question. So question two is am I secure?

632
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 2: This has to do with financial security. I have enough

633
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 2: resources to protect myself, enough resources, and this really is

634
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,959
Speaker 2: around finances and money for the most part. Question three

635
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 2: is about am I loved the question? And this is

636
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 2: really about am I seeing? Am I known? Am I

637
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 2: listened to? This? Is? These are kind of the core

638
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 2: needs of people with this primal question. By the way,

639
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 2: every primal question has what I call kryptonite, which will

640
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 2: instantly send you into your scramble. So like for me,

641
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 2: my kryptonite is surprises, like negative surprises. Okay, I'm like ah,

642
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 2: and then I'm instantly going and my scramble security. Question

643
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 2: two would be any financial instability or surprises really emotionally

644
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 2: activates them. Question three, am I loved? Is really the kryptonite?

645
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 2: There would be indifference if you're sensing somebody sort of

646
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 2: indifferent to you, take it or leave it? That kind

647
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 2: of thing that sends you into your scramble. Question four,

648
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 2: am I wanted? And that would be rejection. Rejection is

649
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 2: going to send you into your scramble question five? Probably

650
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 2: question five is am I successful? This tends to be

651
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 2: like people who have grown up in competitive homes where

652
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 2: scorekeeping was really a big deal and putting runs on

653
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 2: the board or you know, it's like you came home

654
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: with a B plus a mom and dad said, you know,

655
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 2: let's work harder to get that A. You know, it's

656
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 2: like keeping score you know, and so they tend to

657
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 2: grow up with this whole idea of like success is

658
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 2: really important. When they feel successful, they feel great. But

659
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 2: when they experience failure or underperformance or under achievement, they

660
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 2: go into their scramble. Question six is am I good enough?

661
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 2: These are folks who can really struggle with imposter syndrome

662
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 2: or perfectionism, where just they never they never measure up.

663
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 2: It's kind of existential too for these folks, where it's like,

664
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 2: I just do I have a right to even be

665
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 2: here in the world. So that gets expressed in two

666
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 2: different ways. One would be through insecurity. They tend to

667
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 2: be wallflowers or just you know, they don't believe their

668
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 2: opinions are that important, so they don't bring them, you know.

669
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 2: So there's kind of this this lack of confidence. And

670
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 2: the other way that it often expresses itself is through

671
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 2: narcissism and self puffery or this over indexing to prove

672
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:38,359
Speaker 2: your worth or value. And then question seven, by the way,

673
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 2: the kryptonite for question six, am I good enough? Is

674
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 2: criticism and judgment. So if you find anybody being defensive

675
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 2: right really right away, and it's really activated by any

676
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 2: sort of feedback, it's very high possibility. That's a question six,

677
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 2: am I good enough person? And then finally question seven's

678
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,800
Speaker 2: do I have purpose? This is really around having impact

679
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 2: significance in your life. These are the vision casters of

680
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 2: the world. These are the big believers that you know

681
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 2: and so impacts really important and for them, their kryptonite

682
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:19,399
Speaker 2: would be doing meaningless work, doing something that is not

683
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,839
Speaker 2: doesn't feel very important, and so they feel like they're

684
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:26,320
Speaker 2: because they're not doing anything important, that my life doesn't

685
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:27,240
Speaker 2: have purpose.

686
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,760
Speaker 1: Okay, so one, this is so cool.

687
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 3: I can't wait to read this whole thing because I'm

688
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 3: a big fan of the enneagram. But the reason I

689
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 3: liked the enneagram so much and I like it so

690
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 3: much is it feels very similar to the groundings of

691
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,720
Speaker 3: and you mentioned this earlier attachment theory.

692
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: And I've always told myself.

693
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 3: I want to do some kind of study where we

694
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,720
Speaker 3: really look at that and how that plays out in anagram.

695
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 1: But this, I feel like, puts all that I don't have.

696
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 3: To do the research anymore because you did it, but

697
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,360
Speaker 3: because it's probably never going to get around to it.

698
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 3: But this puts that to it. Like this very much

699
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 3: sounds like you're putting language and understanding and a not

700
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 3: easier but a well, I guess maybe simple or more

701
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 3: direct road to getting to these core questions that people

702
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 3: spend years in therapy trying to figure out. And also,

703
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 3: as you were saying that again, I can't help but

704
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 3: think about other people that pop up in my head

705
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 3: as you're saying all of those, and I felt the

706
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 3: sense of, well, if I knew that, if I could know,

707
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 3: because I want people to give me the grace selfishly,

708
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 3: I want people to give me the grace that they

709
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 3: can see when I'm doing my scramble. It's not because

710
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 3: I'm just wanting to be look cuckoo out there. It's

711
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:51,319
Speaker 3: not because I'm self absorbed. It's not just because of

712
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 3: I'm a not inherently good person. It's because this came

713
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 3: from this experience. And I love I love that you

714
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 3: said it's not always this bit traumatic experience. It's just experiences,

715
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 3: and I want people to offer that to me. And

716
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,799
Speaker 3: hearing you go through that list, I was like, oh,

717
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:12,919
Speaker 3: if I can look at everybody like, because everybody has one,

718
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 3: if I can look at them as like they have

719
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,920
Speaker 3: one of these questions floating on in their head, so

720
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 3: the things that they're doing specifically, when you said that's

721
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 3: when you see the narcissism, I'm like, I have a

722
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 3: weird sweet spot for narcissists in the sense where I'm like,

723
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 3: I know that there's some pain there, I know what's

724
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 3: going on, but at the same time, I'm like, oh,

725
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 3: this is so frustrating.

726
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,280
Speaker 2: So that's kind of the thing I'm most excited about

727
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,680
Speaker 2: is not so much even just the self awareness and

728
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 2: our own understanding, but how we can then interact and

729
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:46,839
Speaker 2: have relationship with others knowing what their primal question is.

730
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 2: So like, I use this a lot. In couple's counseling.

731
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 2: The reason why relationships fail, especially marriage relationships, is fundamentally

732
00:40:56,360 --> 00:41:01,320
Speaker 2: one of the spouse's partners is answering their partner's primal

733
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 2: question with a no or a maybe too often, so

734
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:09,799
Speaker 2: that relationship will not survive if that partner is consistently

735
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 2: at answering their partner's primal question with a no or

736
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 2: a maybe. So in couple's counseling, what we do is

737
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 2: we identify what is each spouse's primal question, and then

738
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 2: we get really practical and say, okay, I sometimes right

739
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 2: about this. In the book, I say, you know, imagine

740
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 2: your spouse is wearing their primal question as a sign

741
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 2: around their neck, like in big bold letters, and all

742
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 2: you I'd tell the other spouse, all you have to

743
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 2: do is answer and affirm that primal question with a yes,

744
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 2: and you will have a successful relationship with that person.

745
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 2: But if you consistently, whether on purpose or you know

746
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 2: you know you're unaware of answering that question with a

747
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 2: no or a maybe, consistently, you will have a lousy

748
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:02,279
Speaker 2: relationship with that person. And this is true of marriage.

749
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 2: This isn't true. This is true of friendships. This is

750
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 2: true of our relationship with our parents. It's true with

751
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 2: our relationship with our boss or co workers. You fundamentally

752
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 2: can't be in a healthy relationship with somebody who doesn't

753
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 2: answer it with a yes. So, if I knew your

754
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 2: primal question was am I wanted, I'm now going to

755
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 2: make sure that as your friend and somebody who cares

756
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 2: about you, I would make sure that I invited you

757
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,279
Speaker 2: to all things okay, because I knew that would mean

758
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 2: a lot to you, and I want to be a

759
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 2: good friend to you, and so I want to answer

760
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 2: your primal question with a yes, and I would look

761
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 2: for creative ways to do that. And that's what's so

762
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 2: fun about this. It's not only just our own self

763
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 2: awareness and our primal gift and understanding our own highest

764
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 2: emotional need. It's how do I enter into other people's

765
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 2: highest emotional needs and have this really powerful connection with them.

766
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 3: This is so timely too, because I just did a

767
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:02,320
Speaker 3: series on Gotman's Four Horsemen and communication and conflict management,

768
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,840
Speaker 3: and then I just did last week we talked about

769
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 3: leadership and what makes a good leader. I mean this,

770
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 3: it has to be parts of all of that, because

771
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about relationally with a partner.

772
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 1: If you didn't plan anything.

773
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 3: For my birthday or I don't need anything big, I

774
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 3: just want to do something. I want you to think

775
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:24,239
Speaker 3: that that you thought about it, then I would be like, well,

776
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:24,720
Speaker 3: he doesn't.

777
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 1: He doesn't really care if I'm here or not.

778
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 3: He's not like he's not there's no pursuing, there's no

779
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 3: And if he knew that, then he would like, Okay,

780
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 3: I don't really care about my birthday.

781
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 1: I don't really care about doing anything, but I know

782
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: that she does.

783
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 3: Those conversations are always the conversations that come up. I

784
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:44,760
Speaker 3: work with just individuals, but they're coming to me saying

785
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,879
Speaker 3: I got in this argument or this fighter, he did

786
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 3: this thing to me, and this right here would solve

787
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:53,799
Speaker 3: a lot of those. It's not a lack of love,

788
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:57,080
Speaker 3: it's not a lack of care. It's like a it's

789
00:43:57,120 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 3: a misunderstanding or unknowing of what's going on, because, like

790
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 3: what you said, we're assuming everybody else is asking our same.

791
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 1: Question, the same question, yes versus there's.

792
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 3: Six other questions. Uh huh, oh my gosh, Okay, I

793
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 3: love this. I'm curious if there's anything that through because

794
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 3: your research what you said four years which you have

795
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 3: some patience that I really value.

796
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 2: I'm an Enneagram five, so I'm the investigator. So I

797
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,839
Speaker 2: love the research part of it. But I know it's

798
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 2: not for everyone.

799
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 3: Well, and I'm a seven, and I'm like, I don't

800
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 3: have time to work through all of this.

801
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 1: I just want to read the end results. Okay.

802
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:41,240
Speaker 3: So in all that research, was there anything that either

803
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 3: you learned about yourself that was super surprising or anything

804
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 3: that came up that you were not expecting from just

805
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:49,800
Speaker 3: in general.

806
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,479
Speaker 2: One of the things that I am most excited about,

807
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 2: or was most excited about it just kind of in

808
00:44:54,239 --> 00:45:00,040
Speaker 2: the discovery is how it applies to parenting and just

809
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 2: kind of some aha moments with how we structure our

810
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:09,680
Speaker 2: parenting styles around our primal question. So again the concept

811
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 2: of we take our primal question and we're going to

812
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 2: put it over our child and we're going to make

813
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 2: sure that we really answer that with a strong yess

814
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:19,360
Speaker 2: for our child.

815
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 3: Okay.

816
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 2: So for me, my primal question was am I safe?

817
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 2: So in my I have two kids, they're older, and

818
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 2: I have a twenty four year old twenty one year old,

819
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 2: But when we were raising them, it was a dad

820
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:34,759
Speaker 2: who is all about their safety, right if they were

821
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 2: going to go spend the night with with somebody. I

822
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 2: was the one calling up making sure I knew all

823
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 2: the details, making sure everything was going to be okay,

824
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 2: who are the people that that's you know, protection of

825
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 2: my kids? Safety of my kids? That was my orientation

826
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 2: to parenting them. And my wife's primal question was and

827
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 2: I loved so she again takes her primal question, puts

828
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:58,400
Speaker 2: it over our kids, and I got to tell you

829
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:03,480
Speaker 2: she did an a plus job at loving our kids.

830
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 2: So what's nice about that is Number one, you have

831
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 2: two people who bring a different angled parenting I'd also

832
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 2: be probably a little bit judgmental about how much love

833
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 2: she was shown there, Like, I mean, they know it.

834
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 2: It's fine. You don't have to, like, you know, buy

835
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:23,720
Speaker 2: two hundred dollars worth of Christmas gifts. One hundred dollars

836
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 2: is fine, right, But sometimes what will happen is will

837
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 2: over index on our primal question with our kiddos, And

838
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:35,320
Speaker 2: so kind of the parenting thing that was an AHA

839
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:41,880
Speaker 2: moment is good parenting is yes, expressing our primal question

840
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 2: and answering informing that for our kids in a healthy way,

841
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 2: not over indexing, but looking to answer all seven of

842
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 2: them in a consistent way with our kids.

843
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:56,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, and as adult, I can look back on my parents,

844
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:59,719
Speaker 3: because you know, it's just natural see what they didn't do.

845
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 3: But I also can see these things like in the

846
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:08,919
Speaker 3: over loving or the over safety, I now can see

847
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 3: some of the things that I'm excited to dig in

848
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:13,839
Speaker 3: more to this. I can see some of the things

849
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 3: that my mom or dad did that I'm like, oh

850
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 3: my gosh, that was their way of giving me everything

851
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 3: that they didn't have, and that was their way of

852
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:27,359
Speaker 3: keeping me safe in their head or loved in their head.

853
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 3: That sometimes pissed me off, but I can now see

854
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:33,279
Speaker 3: that as an abundance of love.

855
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 2: Well, that's fundamentally like, I hope we all, through this

856
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:42,399
Speaker 2: tool and the framework, have more compassion for ourselves why

857
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 2: we do the things that we do, understanding our hidden programming,

858
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 2: but also compassion for others and why they're making certain

859
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 2: choices about their life or the way they parented us,

860
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:56,359
Speaker 2: or why they're getting so upset when this like it's

861
00:47:56,480 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 2: just a compassionate and kind way to live in the world,

862
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,359
Speaker 2: not with a bunch of judgment towards sort of these

863
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 2: behaviors or things that don't make sense to us. It's like, oh,

864
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 2: that's what's going on there, and then we can we

865
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 2: can really approach that with a much more well. Number one,

866
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 2: we can actually work on the right problems right if

867
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:21,399
Speaker 2: there's a problem in a relationship. But we can also

868
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 2: have a lot more understanding than perhaps why our parents

869
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 2: over indexed on a particular thing.

870
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

871
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 3: Now I'm having this vision of everybody walking around with

872
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 3: t shirts that have a question on it was.

873
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 2: So helpful, it would be it's it is helpful. Like

874
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 2: I I think about it, you know, with friends. Now

875
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 2: I think about obviously in my marriage, I think about it,

876
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:48,400
Speaker 2: you know, with my my parents, my relationship with my parents.

877
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 2: It's it is helpful to know.

878
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:53,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, for the sake of time here because we could,

879
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 3: I mean we could talk about this forever or I

880
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,839
Speaker 3: personally could. The book is out so people can get it.

881
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:01,239
Speaker 3: Where do you want them to get it? And I

882
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:03,279
Speaker 3: did see that you can buy that bundle, which I

883
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:05,800
Speaker 3: want to get for my team at work because I

884
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,279
Speaker 3: think that would be really helpful. But where do you

885
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 3: want people to go to find it?

886
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 2: Yeah? So two things. Number one, the web, my website

887
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 2: Mike Foster dot tv as in television, Mike Foster dot

888
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 2: tv has the assessment number one that you talked about,

889
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 2: where you can take the assessment and discover your own

890
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 2: primal question. And then the book is also available there

891
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 2: and you can buy it on the website or you

892
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,839
Speaker 2: buy a bundle. And I think it's actually cheaper there

893
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,359
Speaker 2: than it is on Amazon right now. But it is

894
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 2: available on Amazon too if you want to use your

895
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:43,799
Speaker 2: Amazon account to purchase it. But yeah, Mike Foster dot

896
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 2: tv or the assessment free assessment, by the way, it

897
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 2: takes maybe five or six minutes, not does it take

898
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 2: a lot of time free assessment. And then the book

899
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:54,280
Speaker 2: is also available at.

900
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:57,760
Speaker 3: My website, okay, and people can follow you on Instagram

901
00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:59,320
Speaker 3: so they can see all the posts that I'm seeing.

902
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 1: Mike Foster two thousand, Right.

903
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:04,840
Speaker 2: That's correct, Mike Foster two thousand.

904
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,839
Speaker 1: Okay, amazing. Well, thank you so much.

905
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 3: Thank you for doing all this research for us.

906
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:12,279
Speaker 2: Oh, I appreciate you for having me. I have just

907
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 2: thoroughly enjoyed this conversation with you.

908
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:14,919
Speaker 3: Oh.

909
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:18,320
Speaker 2: Thanks, And yeah, I hope you enjoyed the book. I

910
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 2: I thanks for buying the bundle for your friends and

911
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 2: net work. And yeah, I just I think, you know,

912
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:28,400
Speaker 2: all of us have this great opportunity just to hopefully

913
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 2: bring things, whether podcasts or books or whatever, just to

914
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 2: bring more help and healing into our lives. And I

915
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:38,839
Speaker 2: think that's you and I are both aligned, and that's

916
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 2: all we want to do is just kind of help

917
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,319
Speaker 2: people be the best versions of themselves