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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this

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Speaker 1: show and you want to make your own, let me

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Speaker 1: so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more.

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Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot

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Speaker 1: fm to get started.

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Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her Space. This is a

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Speaker 2: time to love on us, but I think in order

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Speaker 2: to love on us and support us, we have to

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Speaker 2: love ourselves. Because if you don't love yourself, and if

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Speaker 2: you don't love who you are, it's going to be

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Speaker 2: that much harder to love the sister that looks just

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Speaker 2: like you, the brother that looks just like you, right,

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Speaker 2: and it's going to be part of our work as

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Speaker 2: a community. So I think this is the ideal time

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Speaker 2: to go within to understand what are the things that

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Speaker 2: I'm struggling with, because I think that we become our

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Speaker 2: best selves that'll allow us to become better for our community.

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Speaker 2: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 2: or even a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments,

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Speaker 2: or if you feel comforted throughout the episode, Lady, please

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Speaker 2: leave us a review and tell us what we're doing

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Speaker 2: right so we can stay on track. Also, we release

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Speaker 2: episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe on iTunes

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Speaker 2: and visit herspace podcast dot com and enter your email

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Speaker 2: address to get updates about our live events and all

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Speaker 2: the new beginnings that we have for this year.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting women

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Speaker 1: like you. We're your costs Doctor Dominique Brussard, a polege

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Speaker 1: professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker.

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Speaker 3: In a world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood,

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Speaker 3: please join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything

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Speaker 3: from fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space

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Speaker 3: where black women can.

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Speaker 4: Just be.

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Speaker 5: Hey, Lady, is doctor dom here from the Herspace Podcast.

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Speaker 5: Do you have a burning question you're dying to get

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Speaker 5: feedback on. Do you want an unbiased perspective on a

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Speaker 5: situation you're facing? If so, visit herspacepodcast dot com. And

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Speaker 5: click ask doctor Dom under the start here option. Every Tuesday,

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Speaker 5: I'll choose a few questions and answer them at random.

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Speaker 5: Our quote of the day comes to us from missus

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Speaker 5: Rachel Cargo. Revolutions are the responses of people in distress.

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Speaker 5: Revolutions are the responses of people in distress. Lady, we

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Speaker 5: are in distress. The black community is in distress.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is definitely going to be a heavy one.

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Speaker 1: And so before we dive into our conversation, as you're

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Speaker 1: listening to us right now, in this moment, I want

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Speaker 1: you to stop what you're doing and take a big,

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Speaker 1: deep breath in and hold it for the count of one,

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Speaker 1: two three four five and now release it on account

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Speaker 1: of one two three four five. And as you're listening

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Speaker 1: throughout this episode, make sure or that you pause as

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Speaker 1: much as you need to and check in on your breath.

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Speaker 1: And if you need to take deep breaths, please do so.

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Speaker 1: All right, team, are we ready to dive in?

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Speaker 2: I think we are, Dom, I think we are. This

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Speaker 2: is definitely a heavy topic, and I feel like one

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Speaker 2: of the first sort of questions we should ask ourselves

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Speaker 2: right now is just how do we feel? You know,

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Speaker 2: we posted about this on social media and got a

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Speaker 2: lot of feedback, but I just kind of wanted to

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Speaker 2: start this conversation with you know, don When I think

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Speaker 2: about my role and when I think about how I

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Speaker 2: feel about everything going on, I want to be super

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Speaker 2: transparent and saying that I never saw myself as an advocate, right,

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Speaker 2: I never saw myself as an activist or a person

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Speaker 2: that is doing the work that I feel like we've

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Speaker 2: sort of been thrust in this world to do based

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Speaker 2: on the current state. But I feel that you you know,

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Speaker 2: we were born with this beautiful melanated skin, and I

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Speaker 2: feel that I have an obligation to do what's right

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Speaker 2: for my community, and I guess the most important thing

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Speaker 2: is to make sure that I'm taking care of self first.

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Speaker 2: But when I think about how I feel, I think

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Speaker 2: that's the initial feeling. I was thinking about this the

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Speaker 2: other day and I was like, I literally, when I

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Speaker 2: think about living my best life, it didn't involve dealing

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Speaker 2: with this racism that's going on. It didn't involve dealing

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Speaker 2: with this trauma, this racial trauma. And you know, I

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Speaker 2: was thinking about last week was a hard week for me.

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Speaker 2: Last week was a hard week for me when it

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Speaker 2: comes to my business. I couldn't send out any emails,

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Speaker 2: I couldn't post anything about that. It just didn't feel right.

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Speaker 2: And there was so much going on internally that I

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Speaker 2: just felt too overwhelmed, too exhausted, And it's just a

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Speaker 2: lot dumb.

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Speaker 1: It truly is a lot, And I want to acknowledge

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Speaker 1: that all of our feelings, no matter what they are,

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Speaker 1: are valid. And you know, as you're saying, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: feeling overwhelmed, that's normal. If someone is listening and they're saying, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling numb or helpless or hopeless, or angry or

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Speaker 1: enraged or deeply sadden. No matter what the feelings are,

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Speaker 1: they are all valid. And personally, I over the last

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks, when someone asks me how I'm feeling,

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Speaker 1: one of the things that I have been responding to

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Speaker 1: people with is starting off by saying, in this moment.

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Speaker 4: By doing so, I want to.

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Speaker 1: Acknowledge that my feelings have been up and down throughout

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Speaker 1: this time, and depending on that particular moment in which

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Speaker 1: I'm engaging, will that determines how I'm feeling. And in

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Speaker 1: this moment right now, with us recording what feels like

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Speaker 1: a really necessary and important episode. I have mixed emotions,

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Speaker 1: So I have feelings of empowerment because I'm doing my

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Speaker 1: work right now, right us engaging in this dialogue.

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Speaker 4: This is my work, this is what.

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Speaker 1: I live for, this is what I'm passionate about finding

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Speaker 1: ways for us to kind of have the difficult conversations to.

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Speaker 4: Lead to healing.

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Speaker 1: So I'm feeling empowered about that. But because it's a

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Speaker 1: difficult topic for us to address, it's a heavy topic,

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Speaker 1: I'm also feeling a little bit of anxiety, which I

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Speaker 1: think is normal when you're diving into something really heavy,

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Speaker 1: Like there's like a little bit of anxiousness of what

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Speaker 1: emotions are going to come up as we dive into

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Speaker 1: this conversation. And so for me, I want to be

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Speaker 1: able to lean into both of those emotions, and so

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Speaker 1: using that feeling of empowerment to encourage me to continue

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Speaker 1: in this conversation despite any anxiety that I might be

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Speaker 1: feeling about diving into something so heavy.

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Speaker 2: That's a good point, Donnon. I'm glad that you share

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Speaker 2: that as well, because I think a lot of people

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Speaker 2: can resonate with the anxiety. You know, there are so

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Speaker 2: many different things that we do every day that black

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Speaker 2: people have been harmed, killed doing and so that is

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Speaker 2: enough to give someone anxiety. I think about the nerves.

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Speaker 2: My stomach has kind of been a knots throughout the week,

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Speaker 2: and it's been kind of difficult to just you know,

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Speaker 2: eat and really focused. You know, I kind of been

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Speaker 2: going through this battle of like, Okay, I got to

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Speaker 2: stay off social media and take a break, but then

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Speaker 2: I want to log on to see if I missed anything,

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Speaker 2: if there's something new that I need to know about.

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Speaker 2: And so I'm definitely with you there. And I think

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Speaker 2: the sad part about this is for us, many of

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Speaker 2: these feelings are not unfamiliar. We've had to unfortunately deal

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Speaker 2: with these feelings and some of us have numbed ourselves

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Speaker 2: because of the constant ways in which black people are

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Speaker 2: treated in this country, right, And I think we often

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Speaker 2: feel this way when police officers and suspected white supremacists

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Speaker 2: and white supremacists kill our people. It makes me think

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Speaker 2: about Filando Castile and Sandra Bland and Eric Garner and

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Speaker 2: Tamir Rice and Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, right, Michael Brown,

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Speaker 2: so many names, and the list goes on and on,

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Speaker 2: and we can literally list our people for an entire

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Speaker 2: episode down. I mean, it's ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: You know, what we are experiencing is racial trauma, and

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Speaker 1: we are constantly being traumatized from a racial perspective, repeatedly, repeatedly,

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Speaker 1: And for those who are unfamiliar with the term racial trauma,

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Speaker 1: a racial trauma is that repeated physical and psychological experience

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Speaker 1: of being exposed to racism, being exposed to hatred, discrimination,

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Speaker 1: And the feelings that often arise for us when we

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Speaker 1: experience racial trauma are feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, sadness, fear, anger.

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Speaker 4: But then we.

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Speaker 1: Also might find ourselves experiencing some confusion, maybe even some guilt.

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Speaker 1: We may notice that we terry, like you mentioned, like

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Speaker 1: that tightness and that tension, right, so maybe some headaches

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Speaker 1: or body aches, maybe some insomnia. I know that for myself,

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Speaker 1: I've had a couple of nights where it's been kind

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Speaker 1: of difficult to sleep, and I've talked to other folks

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Speaker 1: where they've said, like, it's been hard to sleep, and

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Speaker 1: all of those like just in heightened anxiety, heightened depression,

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Speaker 1: all of those are symptoms of what it means to

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Speaker 1: experience racial trauma. And I think it's important for us

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Speaker 1: to acknowledge that as black people, and I want to

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Speaker 1: be clear that I'm talking about us as black folks,

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Speaker 1: that other people of color, other communities of color do

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Speaker 1: experience racial trauma, but right now, our attention is on

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Speaker 1: the racial trauma that is specific to the black community.

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Speaker 1: It needs to stop, like at what point will enough

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Speaker 1: really be enough?

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Speaker 2: Exactly? And I love that distinction because I think that oftentimes,

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Speaker 2: you know, black people will get lumped into the people

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Speaker 2: of color conversation, and there are times when it is

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Speaker 2: necessary for us as people of color to come together

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Speaker 2: and to use our strength in numbers and to advocate

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Speaker 2: for our rights. But I do think that sometimes it

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Speaker 2: can diminish our movement when we lump us in, because

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Speaker 2: what we're experiencing right now, the police brutality, the police murders,

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Speaker 2: the unjust treatment of black people in this country, it

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Speaker 2: is something that black people experience at disproportionate rates, and

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Speaker 2: so when we call out black people specifically, it does

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Speaker 2: not take anything away from the other flights of other communities.

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Speaker 2: It's important for us to make that distinction though in

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Speaker 2: this particular instance, and so I want to read off

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Speaker 2: down the few social media posts and tweets that caught

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Speaker 2: my eye where you ever just see a post and

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Speaker 2: you're like, oh my gosh, they literally just took the

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Speaker 2: words out of my mouth. This was so powerful, and

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Speaker 2: this first one and it says, it always amazes me

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Speaker 2: how y'all can have black significant others, black friends, black

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Speaker 2: family members, love black culture, post black rappers, get box braids,

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Speaker 2: want mixed babies, say the N word, but stay silent

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Speaker 2: when Black people are getting killed. If you take offense

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Speaker 2: to this or feel uneasy good, you shouldn't get to

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Speaker 2: pick and choose when black cultures convenient for you, when

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Speaker 2: we don't have that privilege. Black lives matter too.

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Speaker 4: Poor girl, right that right there? Who you know?

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Speaker 1: Honestly, there were a couple of people that I actually

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Speaker 1: thought about that.

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Speaker 4: That that applies to.

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Speaker 1: And I think that it's important for those people who

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Speaker 1: would see that tweet and take it personal, that that

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Speaker 1: propels them to actually dive deep and internally to do

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Speaker 1: the work, because I can't, for the life of me,

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Speaker 1: I don't understand what it means to truly have that

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Speaker 1: privilege of being able to take part and associate with

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Speaker 1: a culture of people and then conveniently ignore their existence.

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Speaker 1: When shit hits the fan, when things get difficult. Part

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Speaker 1: of my work is to understand people, right, I have

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Speaker 1: to admit that that is one of the areas where

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Speaker 1: I truly struggle with that understanding. I don't understand how

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Speaker 1: one could quote unquote show appreciation for and a love

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Speaker 1: for black people, be married to or have children, or

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Speaker 1: say that their closest friends are black, or work closely

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Speaker 1: with black people, or provide services to black people and

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Speaker 1: smile in our faces, but choose to remain silent during

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Speaker 1: times like this.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I agree with you, Tom, I really really do

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Speaker 2: you know? It's about time that other people are speaking

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Speaker 2: of know whether they are I don't personally remember a

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Speaker 2: time when the world was advocating for black people in

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Speaker 2: this way. And enough is enough, you know, And that

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Speaker 2: takes me to broader Hunter's tweet and this says white

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Speaker 2: people be like, yeah, we keep killing y'all, but please

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Speaker 2: start resorting to violence to make a point enough is enough.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, well, you know, Dom and I talked about

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Speaker 2: this on our Instagram live and we talked about how

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Speaker 2: we personally we may not be out you know, rioting

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Speaker 2: and looting and things like that, However we understand how

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Speaker 2: people could get to that point if you keep killing

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Speaker 2: us and people get off or they get a slap

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Speaker 2: on the wrist, and it just keeps on happening. You know,

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Speaker 2: first they say, oh, we need body cams, we need video,

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Speaker 2: then you get video. I mean, the thing is they

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Speaker 2: kill black children, black you know, people of all ages.

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Speaker 2: I mean it's just blatant and it's cruel and it's disgusting,

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Speaker 2: and it just happens over and over and people are

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Speaker 2: complaining about target you know, being closed down, and it's like,

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Speaker 2: but you didn't say anything about the black people that

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Speaker 2: were being killed. Earlier this week was the ninety ninth

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Speaker 2: anniversary of the Black Wall Street massacre or the Tulsa bombings,

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Speaker 2: right where white people came in and destroyed one of

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Speaker 2: the wealthiest black communities in Tulsa, Oklahoma. And it's pretty

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Speaker 2: wild that we're at this point in the world right now,

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Speaker 2: ninety nine years later. I mean, let that sink in right.

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Speaker 1: Damn near one hundred years later and we're still dealing

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Speaker 1: with this. Our lives are still in danger.

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Speaker 2: I just have to read this one last week because

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Speaker 2: it's so true, but it also tickled me a bit

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Speaker 2: and before we dive into some of the you know,

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Speaker 2: the things that we should keep in mind moving forward.

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Speaker 4: So let's see.

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Speaker 2: Her name is Sadie Baby on Twitter, and Sadie Baby says,

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Speaker 2: the reason you don't see cops shutting down kkk rallies

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Speaker 2: is the same reason you don't see Hannah Monten and

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Speaker 2: Mightley Cyrus sitting in the same room.

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Speaker 3: Girl.

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Speaker 4: But I saw that and I lost it.

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Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, goddamn right, Okay.

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Speaker 4: Yes, you know that.

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Speaker 2: In the day they said that the KKK infiltrated the

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Speaker 2: police force. Like come on, y'all, like, come on, now,

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Speaker 2: this is the state of the world. This is where

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Speaker 2: we're at right now.

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Speaker 4: This is where we are at.

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Speaker 1: One of the things that I do want to point out,

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Speaker 1: I want to be clear is that we're not saying

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Speaker 1: that all white people are bad, even though I would

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Speaker 1: hope that that's understood right, We're not saying that.

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Speaker 4: All cops are bad.

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Speaker 1: And I can particularly speak from that standpoint having a

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Speaker 1: sister and a cousin who are in law enforcement, who

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Speaker 1: are cops.

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Speaker 4: They're black.

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Speaker 1: We all, i'm sure know, within our six degrees of separation,

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Speaker 1: know a black cop. And while we know that not

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Speaker 1: all cops are bad. What is happening right now through

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Speaker 1: the hands of cops is part of a larger system issue,

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Speaker 1: and that is what everyone out here protesting, everyone out

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Speaker 1: here writing essays and holding webinars and doing all the

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Speaker 1: things to show their different level of activism. And we'll

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Speaker 1: talk more about what that really looks like a little

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Speaker 1: bit later. But each and every person who is out

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Speaker 1: here speaking up against this is not saying that all

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Speaker 1: cops are bad. What we are trying to communicate is

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Speaker 1: that there is a larger systemic issue that needs to change,

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Speaker 1: point blank period. Our quote unquote justice system in a

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Speaker 1: minas America is fucked. Our justice system in America needs

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Speaker 1: significant overhaul. Our justice system in America continuously perpetuates racism

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Speaker 1: and white supremacy. And until our overall justice system changes,

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Speaker 1: black people will continue to experience racial trauma. Things will

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Speaker 1: not change for us until the overall system changes.

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Speaker 2: You better say that time, you better preach. Okay, you're preaching.

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Speaker 2: It's a fact. It's the truth. It's the truth that

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Speaker 2: may be uncomfortable for some people, but it is the truth,

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Speaker 2: and the truth will set you free. And this is

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Speaker 2: the time where the things that have happened. I mean,

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Speaker 2: there's a shift taking place, and we are you know,

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Speaker 2: they always say that the revolution won't be televised. This

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Speaker 2: is the revolution, this is it, And I know it

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Speaker 2: might seem scared. I know for myself, I'm just like,

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Speaker 2: I'm not ready for this. What's going on? Why is

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Speaker 2: this happening? This is it? And I think that there

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Speaker 2: are things that we're going to discuss today that can

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Speaker 2: make that pill a bit easier to swallow. And we

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Speaker 2: want to give you some tips and resources on next

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Speaker 2: steps and where you fit in and what your role

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Speaker 2: might be. I do want to also say, Dom, I

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Speaker 2: agree with you as far as what you said about

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Speaker 2: cops and also white people. There are good white people

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Speaker 2: out there, There are good allies. There are people that

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Speaker 2: are doing the work, and I've had some people reach

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Speaker 2: out to me that are putting their money where their

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Speaker 2: mouth is. They are helping to fund the grassroots organizations

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Speaker 2: and organizations that are dedicated to justice for black people

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Speaker 2: and people of color, right, And so definitely want to

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Speaker 2: put that out there and before we move into things

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Speaker 2: that we should keep in mind as we move forward.

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Speaker 2: Anything else you want to add their dome.

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Speaker 1: One thing I do want to add, I do want

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Speaker 1: to acknowledge that we are in the month of June,

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Speaker 1: which is LGBTQ Pride Month, and so I want to

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Speaker 1: also acknowledge that our LGBTQ black brothers and sisters and

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Speaker 1: gender non conforming folks are also experiencing trauma on a

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Speaker 1: different level. And so I want to make sure that

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Speaker 1: we do take a second to acknowledge that there are

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Speaker 1: so many black trans people that get murdered in this

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Speaker 1: country and not enough attention gets brought to them and

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Speaker 1: their experience.

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Speaker 4: And so I want us.

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Speaker 1: To make sure that as a black community that we

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Speaker 1: are acknowledging all of us that we don't feed into

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Speaker 1: what white supremacy would want, which would be for us

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Speaker 1: to find ways to divide ourselves, that we acknowledge each

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Speaker 1: and every one of us who identifies as black is

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Speaker 1: being traumatized, and for a lot of us, we are

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Speaker 1: being traumatized on multiple levels on a daily basis, that

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Speaker 1: our lives as a black person, our lives are constantly

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Speaker 1: at risk.

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Speaker 2: Amen to that dome we love all of us for real, Okay, yes,

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Speaker 2: And so when it comes to things to keep in

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Speaker 2: mind as we move forward, I think one thing that

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Speaker 2: we need to remember is that the media, which in

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Speaker 2: most cases mainstream media, is the white media. It cannot

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Speaker 2: be trusted. So we can't believe everything that we see.

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Speaker 2: We have to do our own research. We have to

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Speaker 2: be mindful about what we're sharing online because, I mean,

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Speaker 2: don we've seen a few stories this week that just

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Speaker 2: make you shake your head and discussed, you know, from

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Speaker 2: the newscaster where you know, they had an image of

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Speaker 2: various people looting, right, and there was one particular image

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Speaker 2: where a white woman was looting and she was taking things.

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Speaker 2: I think it may have been a target or some store.

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Speaker 2: She was taking a bunch of stuff out of the store,

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Speaker 2: and the newscast had the audacity to fix her lips

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Speaker 2: to say something along the lines of, oh, I believe

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Speaker 2: that's a woman. She could be someone that works at

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Speaker 2: the store that you know, trying to clean up or something.

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Speaker 2: She said, alluding to the fact that the woman on

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Speaker 2: the screen was taking things from the store as a

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Speaker 2: worker of the store. Down That was ridiculous to me.

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Speaker 2: It's like they will promote the images of black people

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Speaker 2: that may not necessarily be very flattering, but they won't

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Speaker 2: promote the peaceful images, right they won't promote the images

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Speaker 2: of white people doing the same thing that black people

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Speaker 2: do because they have an agenda, and so we have

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Speaker 2: to be mindful about the media.

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Speaker 1: And that agenda is one of maintaining white supremacy, point

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Speaker 1: blank period. Right, that agenda is often about perpetuating negative

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Speaker 1: stereotypes against black folks, and by doing so, they are

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Speaker 1: what they are doing is contributing to the implicit bias

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Speaker 1: that other people will take in and will be influenced

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Speaker 1: by in terms of how they engage and see and

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Speaker 1: interact with black folks. Right, so they're looking at that

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Speaker 1: image of this woman, this white woman who's being labeled

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Speaker 1: as oh, she was an employee, but yet the black

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Speaker 1: person who's doing the engaging in the exact same behavior

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Speaker 1: is being labeled as a thief. So then what happens

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Speaker 1: the next time we walk into target as that as

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Speaker 1: a black person, we're going to be followed because the assumption,

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Speaker 1: based on what is put out in the media, The

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Speaker 1: assumption then is that we are thieves, that we are

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Speaker 1: in there to steal. And so, yes, I agree that

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Speaker 1: we do need to be mindful of the media that

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Speaker 1: we are taking in, and we need to be mindful

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Speaker 1: of how much of it we take in. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm engaged the discussion with several folks around sharing of

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Speaker 1: videos when black folks are murdered. Personally, I don't watch

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Speaker 1: any of the videos, and if I'm on social media,

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Speaker 1: I try to scroll past those things because I don't

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Speaker 1: want to take that imagery in because that continues to

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Speaker 1: traumatize me. And for me, one of the things that's

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Speaker 1: important in me, in me doing this work is to

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Speaker 1: protect my piece. And so I couldn't even tell you

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Speaker 1: the last time I watched a video of a black

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Speaker 1: person being murdered, because I can't, like, I have to

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Speaker 1: protect my piece, And so I think that for a

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Speaker 1: lot of us, you know, you try to watch the

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Speaker 1: news and they will replay the video over and over

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Speaker 1: and over again, and all that does is retraumatize.

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Speaker 2: Us, retraumatized on and I also desensitize people to Black

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Speaker 2: Day because I feel like they don't do that same

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Speaker 2: thing when it's white people being killed. They try to

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Speaker 2: protect that video and not show that instance. And I

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Speaker 2: feel like that is what they're trying to do, terrorize

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Speaker 2: us and also desensitize us to seeing that, which is

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Speaker 2: just devilish, it's despicable. But I would agree with you, Dow.

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Speaker 2: I don't watch those videos. You know, I'll see things

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Speaker 2: scroll down, I'll scrore down my timeline and I'll see

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Speaker 2: things show up. I can't. It's not good for my

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Speaker 2: mental health. I know that my mind will replay those

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Speaker 2: images over and over and terrorize me and knowing me,

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Speaker 2: it'll pop up in my dreams and all that I can't.

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Speaker 2: I can't do it. So I'm with you there, totally

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00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 2: with you there. I would say that the next thing

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00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 2: that we need to be mindful of is that what

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00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 2: isn't revealed can't be healed. And I think that in particular,

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Speaker 2: I think that white people need to address and acknowledge

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00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 2: their theft, their sins, the mental illness that many of

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Speaker 2: them face. And when I say that, I'm referring to

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Speaker 2: white supremacy in particular, but specifically white men. You know

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00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 2: all the things that they've done in this country. They

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Speaker 2: are some of the most dangerous men in this country.

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Speaker 2: When you think about the school shootings, right, when you

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00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 2: think about just public students in general, whether it's at

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Speaker 2: a concert hall, whatever it might be, they are typically

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Speaker 2: the ones and you notice how when they do it,

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Speaker 2: the media, will you bring up the cutest picture of

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Speaker 2: them from back when they were a kid and talk

436
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 2: about how sweet they were. But then when black men

437
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 2: commit crimes or black people commit crimes, they're thugs. We

438
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 2: got to be honest, We have to stop with the lies.

439
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 2: We need to acknowledge what's happening here. We need to

440
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 2: acknowledge what they've done in the name of eugenics. And

441
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 2: of course this isn't all white people, right, this is

442
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 2: the white people that we're referring to, the white supremacists, right,

443
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 2: the collaborators. What they've done in the name of eugenics,

444
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 2: white supremacy, planned parenthood, all that it needs to be acknowledged.

445
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:42,719
Speaker 1: And I think that we as black people need to

446
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 1: give ourselves permission to assert a boundary that we are

447
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: not going to do the work for anyone else. So, lady,

448
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: as you're listening, you are one of a handful of

449
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 1: black folks in your office, know that it is not

450
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: your responsibility to provide the anti racism workshop, to provide

451
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 1: the cultural competence training, to educate the white people and

452
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 1: other people in your people of color in your office

453
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 1: on all of the trauma that black people have experienced.

454
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 1: It is not your responsibility. And if you are taxed

455
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 1: with that responsibility, I would hope that you feel safe

456
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 1: enough and comfortable enough in your role that you can

457
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 1: respectfully decline and make it clear that it is not

458
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 1: your responsibility. That you are not to do the emotional

459
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: heavy lifting for anyone in your office but yourself.

460
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 2: It's not fair. It's not fair that you do that

461
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 2: emotional labor for free. There are people out here who

462
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 2: do the work. We've mentioned Rachel Kargle, We've had her

463
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 2: on the show. She's doing the work, in addition to

464
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 2: a lot of other people that will add in the

465
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 2: show notes. But it's a lot to expect.

466
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 4: Just our presence is emotional labor enough.

467
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: Yes, the microaggressions, okay, like all the stuff we have

468
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 2: to deal with being in spaces where we're outnumber, it's enough.

469
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 2: We deal with so much. And just kudos to black people.

470
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 2: Let's just throw that out there real quick, like you

471
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 2: are so and we've been through so much as a

472
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 2: people and we continue to thrive to show up. We

473
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 2: weren't supposed to make it this far. They have a

474
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 2: system in place that was supposed to prevent us from flourishing.

475
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 2: We have black millionaires and billionaires and successful people that

476
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 2: are doing great things in their community, and people that

477
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 2: are thriving creatively. I mean, people who are holding amazing

478
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 2: positions that our ancestors would have dreamt of doing. Right, Like,

479
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 2: so kudos to us, all right, when you look in

480
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 2: the mirror and you look at that beautiful black face,

481
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 2: you should be proud. Even though we have, you know,

482
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 2: this black plight that we experience and all the things

483
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 2: that we're struggling with, I'm still so proud to be black.

484
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 4: Definitely.

485
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 1: As you were saying that, I was doing my wakanda

486
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 1: and my wakanda greeting. I had my black power fists

487
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: in the air. Like I went through all of that

488
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: as you were talking. Because we are amazing as a people.

489
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 1: They hate us because they can't beat us.

490
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 2: Aimen to that, and that leads us to our next thing.

491
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 2: We're not only here to point out what other communities

492
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 2: need to do.

493
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 3: Right.

494
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 2: We talked a bit about white supremacy and the white

495
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 2: people that met us no good. But I think another

496
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 2: part of this journey is we move into this revolution dom.

497
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 2: You alluded to this earlier. We got to come together

498
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 2: as black people. We need to address our stuff, the colorism,

499
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 2: the homophobia, the things that we let divide us, the

500
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 2: self hate that we were talked through programming with television

501
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 2: and media, and the experiences that our ancestors had, experiences

502
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 2: that we've had. We were taught to hate ourselves. We

503
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:04,719
Speaker 2: were taught not to love our keiky hair and you know,

504
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 2: some of us may have righter noses. We were taught

505
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 2: not to like our melon and our dark skin, our

506
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 2: brown skin or if you're you know, a lighter complexion,

507
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 2: we were taught not to like that. Maybe you've experienced

508
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 2: some type of injustice within the black community. Right, we

509
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 2: have so much that we need to address within the community. Abuse,

510
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 2: addictions and molestation, guilt, the lack of patience we have

511
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 2: with one another. Right, this is the time to love

512
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 2: on us. But I think in order to love on

513
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 2: us and support us, we have to love ourselves. Because

514
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 2: if you don't love yourself, and if you don't love

515
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 2: who you are, it's going to be that much harder

516
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: to love the sister that looks just like you, the

517
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 2: brother that looks just like you. Right, And it's going

518
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 2: to be part of our work as a community. So

519
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 2: I think this is the ideal time to go within

520
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 2: to understand what are the things that I'm struggling with,

521
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,719
Speaker 2: because I think that we become our best selves that

522
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 2: allow us to become better for our community.

523
00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 1: Yes, I definitely would agree with that that we can't

524
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 1: show up for anyone else until we have truly shown

525
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 1: up for ourselves.

526
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 4: Right.

527
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 1: So I can be there, I can be in the building,

528
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: but I'm only gonna be functioning at maybe fifty twenty

529
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 1: five percent seventy five percent if I haven't truly done

530
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: the work for myself and if I'm not continuously working

531
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 1: on myself right. And so it's hard work to tap

532
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: into that internalized racism that we may be experiencing, right,

533
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: because that's what colorism is, that's internalized racism. We are

534
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: hating ourselves because of how we've been conditioned in programmed

535
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 1: through white supremacy, like you stated. And so once we

536
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 1: get into a space where we are really going within,

537
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 1: and you can do that through whatever support network works

538
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 1: for you. For most of us, that truly means going

539
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:14,760
Speaker 1: to therapy. And we have a recent episode with doctor

540
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:19,439
Speaker 1: Rita Walker that talks about building up psychological fortitude and

541
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 1: she has a new book out that we mentioned in

542
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 1: that episode about addressing mental health within the black community.

543
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 1: I highly recommend that book if you are in a

544
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 1: space where you're trying to figure out how do I

545
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 1: do the work? How do I begin to go within

546
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 1: and address my stuff so that I can show up fully,

547
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 1: not just for my community, but to be a better meet.

548
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 2: Yes, I love that you brought their resource Updom. I'm

549
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:51,919
Speaker 2: still reading the book and it is a must read

550
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 2: for everyone. It really is. And I think before we

551
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 2: move into our next steps and the roles that we play,

552
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 2: the one thing we do have to member it's the

553
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 2: sad truth. So get ready for it. It's not necessarily

554
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 2: the pretty part of this journey. But everyone can't go.

555
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 2: Everyone will not get the message. And you have to

556
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:12,320
Speaker 2: remember it takes too much energy to try to pull

557
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 2: someone up from the ground when you're standing on the chair.

558
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 2: So if you're already in the right place and you're

559
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,320
Speaker 2: trying to do for our community, everyone's not going to

560
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 2: get it. And wasting time trying to prove to someone

561
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 2: and teach them and you know, beg them to come along,

562
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 2: it's just not going to work. Everyone wasn't meant to go, right,

563
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 2: It's just not how this works. And so the people

564
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 2: that are out there doing the work for our community

565
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 2: just kind of go where the energy flows. You can

566
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:38,760
Speaker 2: still love them, right, Everyone has their own journey. Everyone

567
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:41,840
Speaker 2: has their own I want to say, phases of this

568
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 2: consciousness journey and doing the work right, the journey of

569
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 2: doing the work, And so I think it is important

570
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 2: to realize that, you know, sometimes you have to leave

571
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 2: people be and really just go where the energy is flowing.

572
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:54,279
Speaker 2: For us.

573
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 1: Yes, I think that it's okay for everyone.

574
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,760
Speaker 4: Not to come along.

575
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 1: Right. That we are all in different spaces, like you said,

576
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:12,280
Speaker 1: in our journey, and when we think about our racial

577
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: identity development, where we are in that development depends on

578
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 1: our own unique experiences. And so for those of us

579
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:27,359
Speaker 1: who are in a space where we're diving in and

580
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: we're doing the work and we know who we are

581
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 1: and we you know, we really are fully aware of

582
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 1: who we are and we're proud of who we are,

583
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 1: it's okay for us to keep doing that work and

584
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 1: not expect those who aren't where we are to come along.

585
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:50,439
Speaker 1: Like you said, that is part of what makes us

586
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: so diverse within our own community and I know that

587
00:36:56,280 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 1: sometimes that that can truly be infuriating. Right that you

588
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 1: were in this space where you feel you have progressed,

589
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 1: and you look at maybe some of your friends, or

590
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: some of your family, or just other people that you know,

591
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 1: and you feel like you're trying to impart the knowledge

592
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 1: that you've gained with them, and you feel like, Okay,

593
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 1: well I've made this progress, so I want to bring

594
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: my village along with me. Like you said, Terry, sometimes

595
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 1: there are journeys that are meant for us to take

596
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 1: alan And that doesn't mean that anyone that gets left

597
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 1: is less than It just means that they are on

598
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:44,240
Speaker 1: a different path.

599
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,399
Speaker 2: There you go, you hit the nail on the head, Don,

600
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 2: And I know for me personally, over the weekend, I

601
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 2: just I kept praying and I was like God, like one,

602
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:55,919
Speaker 2: why is this happening? And you know, what a time

603
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 2: to be alive, right to be experiencing this. And when

604
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,919
Speaker 2: Don and I were chatting earlier, I remember me telling you, like, girl,

605
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 2: we are someone's ancestors in the future, Like we are

606
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 2: someone's ancestors, and you know, our grandchildren if you have

607
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 2: you know, just either great grandchildren or great nieces and

608
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 2: things like that people that are coming after you, your

609
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 2: descendants don't want to ask you about these times. This

610
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 2: is history right now, that's in the making. And so

611
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 2: when I think about that, it just made me think,

612
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:25,359
Speaker 2: what is my role going to be? You know, what

613
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 2: role am I playing today? And so I was just

614
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 2: trying to rack my brain on like okay, you know,

615
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 2: as you were saying down we got to fill our cup,

616
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 2: I was like, what am I going to tell my people?

617
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 2: What am I going to What am I telling myself?

618
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 2: And so I came up with this little framework for

619
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 2: us to just figure out options for us on like Okay,

620
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 2: how can I contribute? I think the main goal And

621
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 2: I think we may have touched on this either in

622
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 2: the live down or earlier today, but like you got

623
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 2: to make sure your cup is full first before you

624
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 2: take on any other role. That is the priority, like

625
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 2: you being okay is essential. Did we talk about that

626
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:55,280
Speaker 2: already done?

627
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: We talked about that in the live Yes, I think

628
00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 1: I did mention it earlier in this episode, but I

629
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:02,360
Speaker 1: can't stress it enough. Right, So, whether you're hearing it

630
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 1: again in this episode or you're you're hearing it from

631
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 1: the live and I know that you've probably heard it

632
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:14,760
Speaker 1: in some variation in previous episodes from us about making

633
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 1: sure that your cup is overflowing in order to do

634
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: this work right, that you know what you and I

635
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 1: t What you and I were talking about was as

636
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 1: we were identifying what are we going to do.

637
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 4: As a podcast, right, like, what is our role.

638
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:41,320
Speaker 1: To embody the title of this podcast right, Healing, Empowerment

639
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 1: and Resilience. Before we can even dive into that for

640
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 1: the community, we have to make sure that we are full,

641
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 1: that our cups are overflowing because when you give to

642
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 1: someone else, every time you give to someone else, that

643
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 1: pulls from your cup, and if your cup is empty,

644
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,759
Speaker 1: then that means you really have nothing to give.

645
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 4: And so before you go into.

646
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 1: Whatever your role may be, Yes, it is important to

647
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 1: make sure that your cup truly is overflowing. And how

648
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:30,320
Speaker 1: your cup can overflow is about self care and self

649
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 1: care looks different for different people. So for me self

650
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: care this particular week, self care meant having my own

651
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:43,360
Speaker 1: personal therapy session right the therapist has a therapist, And

652
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:49,280
Speaker 1: it also meant spending time with family, unplugging from social media,

653
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:54,720
Speaker 1: limiting my news intake, which I'd already been doing because

654
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 1: of the pandemic, which we didn't even talk about, and

655
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 1: that would be a whole nother episode of us diving

656
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 1: into the impact of the pandemic in all of this, right,

657
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 1: like this overarching layer. So yes, just making sure that

658
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:15,840
Speaker 1: your cup is overflowing before you can really do the work.

659
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And when we dive into the roles here,

660
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 2: it's important to know that everyone's role is going to

661
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 2: look different. It could look different, and you may even

662
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 2: be taking on multiple roles, right, depending on where you

663
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,280
Speaker 2: are in your life. And so when I think about

664
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 2: like a mantra for our community or maybe guiding instructions,

665
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 2: it's how we fight the black plight, right, And so

666
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:39,879
Speaker 2: plight in this sense is an acronym. Right, your role

667
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 2: might be being a political worker, and so that might

668
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 2: mean you advocating for our community in the political realm.

669
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 2: So not just black faces and high places and they

670
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 2: don't do anything, but those that are actually doing the work.

671
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 2: This is something I've been thinking about lately, is you know,

672
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 2: why are we supporting celebrities who don't say shit when

673
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,839
Speaker 2: we're struggling. Why don't we support these businesses that don't

674
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 2: even like us. You know that racists create like it

675
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 2: makes me totally question where I purchase products from. It's

676
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,720
Speaker 2: very difficult should I say to you know, support black

677
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 2: one hundred percent. But there are companies like you know,

678
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 2: when you think about things that H and M has

679
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:15,440
Speaker 2: been in the news for you think about Gucci and

680
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 2: things like that, it's like, you know, why are we

681
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,359
Speaker 2: giving them our money when they don't even like us.

682
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 2: So that's just a little tangent, but it's something that

683
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 2: I thought about, right.

684
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 1: Yes, I agree, just being yes, being conscious of where

685
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:27,320
Speaker 1: you put your dollars.

686
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 2: And so we got political workers, right, that's number one.

687
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 2: The second would be light workers. Maybe you are all

688
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,839
Speaker 2: about empowering the community, providing support and encouragement, light love,

689
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 2: emotional support, similar to what we do with the podcast. Right,

690
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 2: we are light workers. I have not been out protesting,

691
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 2: and I don't think that's a really good role for

692
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:47,839
Speaker 2: me personally at this phase in my life. But there

693
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 2: are other ways I'm supporting and being a light worker

694
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 2: and providing that inspiration and motivation is important to me.

695
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 2: It's something that is a strength for me. And so

696
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 2: that's where we are.

697
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 3: Right.

698
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 2: Then you have the eye for investors and funders. These

699
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 2: are people that in a position to support financially, and

700
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 2: they support those that are doing the work, whether it's

701
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,800
Speaker 2: grassroots movements or the policy workers.

702
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: Right right, I think that, yeah, those people are necessary,

703
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 1: just like you know, as you identified like light workers,

704
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 1: so our doctors, our nurses, our mental health professionals, like

705
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 1: our you know, certain pastors, certain healers, Like if you

706
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 1: are a healer in any way, shape or form, you're

707
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:34,800
Speaker 1: a light worker. Right, You're pouring energy into folks.

708
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 2: That's right. And then when you think about the next

709
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 2: role would be a grid protector. It's a network of

710
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:44,920
Speaker 2: people that protect the community. And I think one of

711
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 2: the learnings from the Black Wall Street massacres that we

712
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 2: didn't have a military base to protect ourselves as a

713
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 2: community when the white people came to the town and

714
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 2: began to wreck havoc on our community. And so I

715
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:00,200
Speaker 2: think having protection that is key. Having people that are

716
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 2: protecting us is key. And so next we have the hawks.

717
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 2: And when you think about the hawks, right, these are

718
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 2: the people that are tapped into their intuition. They are

719
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 2: strategically out in the streets and online advocating for the

720
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:17,240
Speaker 2: community with purpose, intention, and strategy. They're not just packing

721
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 2: their stuff and doing whatever. They have a game plan

722
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,759
Speaker 2: in place to help the community. And then I would

723
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 2: say the last role are the teachers and researchers, those

724
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 2: who are teaching our community about our history, writing books,

725
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 2: educating us, providing documentaries that uplift the community. And when

726
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 2: you think about our education system, white people have been

727
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 2: in charge of educating us for so long, and they

728
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 2: only taught us what they wanted us to know. And

729
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 2: that's how the system is created, right, they only teach

730
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 2: us what they want us to know. I think about

731
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,400
Speaker 2: biblings telling me how there is it? What is it

732
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 2: called the McGraw hill books. Time is that there are

733
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 2: those that's.

734
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 1: One of the yes, that's one of multiple publishers, but

735
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 1: those McGraw hill tends to be the most problematic.

736
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,280
Speaker 2: What girl She said that they were learning about slavery

737
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 2: in school and they call them indentured servants, And I said, oh,

738
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 2: hell to them all, you're not. They're literally rewriting our history.

739
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:10,200
Speaker 2: And so when you think about your role, there are

740
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 2: so many different aspects that you can tap into to

741
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 2: contribute to the betterment of our society. But again we said,

742
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 2: you have to take care of self first, and then

743
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:22,560
Speaker 2: figure out which role are you going to occupy.

744
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 1: And I also want to put out there that you

745
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 1: know you like as you named all of these different roles,

746
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 1: that there may be points as you are taking care

747
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,479
Speaker 1: of self that your role might not fit into any

748
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 1: one of those categories. That your role may simply be

749
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:46,760
Speaker 1: to be still. Right, And depending on where you are

750
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 1: in your identity development or your racial identity development, you

751
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 1: may be in a place where it's not helpful to

752
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 1: anyone for you to try and engage in the work

753
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 1: because you may be doing more harm than good. And

754
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 1: I say that to acknowledge that that's still a role

755
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 1: to play, too, right, that being still being silent might

756
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:24,919
Speaker 1: be more beneficial than engaging in the role when you're

757
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 1: not truly ready or capable and you end up causing harm.

758
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,799
Speaker 1: So to prevent that harm, you stay still and you

759
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 1: stay silent.

760
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 4: And that's okay.

761
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 2: I love it, don I love that you made that distinction,

762
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 2: because it is important to know that sometimes that you

763
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 2: know where you are right now in your life, right

764
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:44,319
Speaker 2: you know what's best for you based on where you

765
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 2: are in your life. Maybe you're still trying to figure

766
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 2: that out, right, So maybe the best way to put

767
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 2: it is you know where you are, and so be

768
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,919
Speaker 2: honest with yourself based on where you are, on how

769
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 2: you should move forward. And then as far as next steps,

770
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:57,919
Speaker 2: I know there are some folks that just want something

771
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 2: actionable that they can do today. We have various next

772
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 2: steps that you could literally take today. I think the

773
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 2: first this is one I'm actually going to work on

774
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:09,240
Speaker 2: two dom as researching grass roots movements in my area

775
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 2: who are actually doing the work for our people and

776
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:14,360
Speaker 2: support them. So I'm going to start looking at dedicating

777
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:17,360
Speaker 2: a portion of my paycheck to the grassroots, whether it's

778
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:20,359
Speaker 2: helping to bail people out who are protesting, or whether

779
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 2: it's just people who are doing the work as it

780
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 2: relates to the injustices that black people experience. That's something

781
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 2: I'm going to do. So that's one another, and this

782
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,759
Speaker 2: is from These two are from Racial's public address, which

783
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 2: will add in the show notes understanding the value of

784
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 2: calling and defunding the police in your area and advocating

785
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 2: for redirecting those funds to local and community led safety resources. Now,

786
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 2: I think this one is particularly interesting because if you notice,

787
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 2: you know, they've sent out the National Guard, and it

788
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 2: looks like we are in full on war right now

789
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 2: in our country. But at the same time, during a pandemic,

790
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:57,960
Speaker 2: doctors don't have masks, and the healthcare workers that need

791
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 2: resources to serve the community, they don't have what they need.

792
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 2: And so that's something that's important, like we need to

793
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 2: make sure that we're funding the people that are helping

794
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 2: our people, right and not helping to over militarize. That

795
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 2: is that even a word down over militarized. I'm going

796
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 2: to check the word down the line. Okay, there we go. Boom,

797
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,760
Speaker 2: we're making out words right now over militarize the police

798
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 2: forces in our community.

799
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:26,440
Speaker 1: Yes, And I think that you know, the other piece,

800
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 1: the other tip is about holding organizations in the businesses

801
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 1: that we work for or that we that we work

802
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:38,799
Speaker 1: for and that we purchase products from, accountable, right. And

803
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 1: so you know, we don't have to get into the

804
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 1: debate of what I've seen on social media about a

805
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 1: blackout in July, right, we don't have to get into

806
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:51,359
Speaker 1: that whole debate about the merits of doing that.

807
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 4: But I do think that on.

808
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:58,880
Speaker 1: A general, consistent, day to day basis, it's important for

809
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,399
Speaker 1: us to be conscious of where we are spending our

810
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 1: dollars and holding those people accountable, those businesses accountable for

811
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:17,320
Speaker 1: their actions. And in the workplace, you know, inquiring about

812
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 1: whether or not your employer is speaking up about what's

813
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 1: happening right now. Again, want to emphasize it's not your

814
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 1: responsibility to do the emotional labor for them. Not to

815
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:33,439
Speaker 1: it's not your responsibility to do the research for them

816
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 1: or make the public statements for them, but holding them

817
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:42,760
Speaker 1: accountable if they aren't. Then the next tip. We've talked

818
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:46,040
Speaker 1: about this multiple times in an episode, and again I'm

819
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 1: gonna stress it again. Self care, make sure that your

820
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:56,360
Speaker 1: cup is overflowing. And then our final tip is to

821
00:49:56,560 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 1: do your own research because we know, like we mentioned

822
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 1: that our education system is not going to tell us

823
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 1: everything that we need to know because by not doing so,

824
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:14,359
Speaker 1: it upholds white supremacy, it keeps the status quo.

825
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 4: And so making.

826
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:20,960
Speaker 1: Sure that you are aware of eugenics, looking up Black

827
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 1: Wall Street, looking up the Haitian Revolution, read and reading

828
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:30,359
Speaker 1: things like the Art of War, being aware of what

829
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: our black history is, looking up other different movements in

830
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:40,240
Speaker 1: this country, looking up the work of the Black Panther Party,

831
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 1: looking up the work of the Nation of Islam, looking

832
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 1: up information on the civil rights movement, just truly being

833
00:50:54,480 --> 00:51:00,720
Speaker 1: aware of our history. You have to know where you've

834
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:05,719
Speaker 1: been or know where you've come from in order to

835
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:06,880
Speaker 1: know where you're going.

836
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 2: Hey lady, it's Terry here from the Herspace podcast and

837
00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 2: I have a question for you. Do you want to

838
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 2: start your own podcast? Have you been thinking to yourself?

839
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,440
Speaker 2: You know what, I want to start a podcast, but

840
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,759
Speaker 2: you just haven't taken the leap. If that's you, I

841
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 2: got you. I'm hosting a free podcasting masterclass where I'm

842
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:29,680
Speaker 2: going to teach you how to create your own podcasts

843
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:32,200
Speaker 2: from start to finish. I'll teach you how to format

844
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 2: your show and pitch great guests. I'll teach you how

845
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 2: to stand out in the crowd of nearly one million podcasts.

846
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 2: But I'm also going to teach you how to get

847
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,440
Speaker 2: your mind right. Okay, We're going to talk about how

848
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:46,760
Speaker 2: to overcome imposture syndrome and how to deal with fear

849
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,800
Speaker 2: on your podcasting journey. So even if you're not tech savvy,

850
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:54,799
Speaker 2: it's okay. This masterclass is just for you. So visit

851
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 2: Terry Limax dot com and click on the pink link

852
00:51:57,239 --> 00:51:59,840
Speaker 2: in the middle of your screen and register for my

853
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 2: free podcasting masterclass. Again. That's Terrylomax dot com T E

854
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:12,120
Speaker 2: R R I l Omax dot com. I hope to

855
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 2: see you there.

856
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us today in her Space. Please note

857
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 1: that our show may contain conversations about self health, advice,

858
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:26,239
Speaker 1: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no

859
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,720
Speaker 1: means meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal

860
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 1: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you are

861
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:37,399
Speaker 1: someone you know is in need of mental health care,

862
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 1: please visit the Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today

863
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 1: or contact your insurance provider.

864
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:46,759
Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

865
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and

866
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:55,120
Speaker 2: Twitter at her Space podcast or check out our website

867
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:58,520
Speaker 2: at Herspace podcast dot com. And before we meet again,

868
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Speaker 2: repeat after me, There's something inside of me that's bigger

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Speaker 2: than any obstacle.

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Speaker 4: We'll see you next week, lady,