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Speaker 1: This is Dan Patrick takes a gam Gambling was something

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Speaker 1: that I did a clever way.

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Speaker 2: To circumvent Dan actually making bets himself by using a proxy,

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Speaker 2: and I became consumed by it and now joined by

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Speaker 2: bad Larry and Dylan the graphics guy. Here's Dan Patrick.

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Speaker 3: Hey Larry, Hello, Dan, howy you doing, buddy?

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Speaker 1: Are you on the Jersey Turnpike?

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Speaker 4: No, no, I'm hey, I'm on a parkway. But I

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Speaker 4: just pulled into the Judy bloom Reth stop. I don't

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Speaker 4: even know who she is, but around pretty close to

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Speaker 4: Eggs ninety.

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Speaker 5: Okay, all right, but I just want to make sure

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Speaker 5: you're not driving while you're doing this podcast.

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Speaker 4: I was gone, but I couldn't hear, so there's too

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Speaker 4: much noise on the road, so I pulled off.

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Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, that's the only reason to not be driving.

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Speaker 1: For it, salt life. Look at him.

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Speaker 7: You look like you're the biggest like Jersey Shore goober

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Speaker 7: of all time.

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Speaker 1: I would give you two dollars if I saw you

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Speaker 1: on the street.

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Speaker 3: Just drove a friend of mine in Newark Airport, got

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Speaker 3: rid of him. Thank god.

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Speaker 5: Well, let's let's recap. Obviously, mad Larry paid a visit

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Speaker 5: up here and nobody's going to be the.

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Speaker 1: Same after that.

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Speaker 5: No trauma chized Shay and Irving is still not drinking. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: sober okay until the end of the month.

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Speaker 1: End of the month. I think we have couple's therapy

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Speaker 1: on next Wednesday.

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Speaker 6: And depending on how that goes, that.

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Speaker 5: Goes we'll see when who gets to crack one open. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: when's the last time you did couple's therapy? Oh we

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Speaker 5: do that shit every other month, Danny.

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Speaker 1: It's uh, oh you do Oh yeah, emergency session. Woo,

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Speaker 1: this is we're falling apart here we go. But do

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Speaker 1: you love your wife? Of course? Yeah? I got three

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Speaker 1: kids with her. Does she love you? Yeah? Yeah sometimes.

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Speaker 1: I mean there's other times where she's like I hate

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Speaker 1: you and YadA YadA. But who you know, married for

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Speaker 1: ten years Danny, that's about bar for the course. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's dog ears. Yeah, bro, that poor thing dude we got.

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Speaker 1: I have three daughters. In my defense, I have three daughters,

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Speaker 1: eight six and two and a half. So I'm swimming

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Speaker 1: in an ocean of estrogen. I'm surrounded, i am bullied,

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Speaker 1: I am taken advantage of I am nothing but a

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Speaker 1: paycheck and a vehicle to them. Okay, it's dangerous, Danny. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you don't have three daughters. Yeah, I do, plus a son. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's different. It bounces out the testosterone, the estrogen testosteroney.

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Speaker 5: It bounces My son is more challenge was more challenging

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Speaker 5: than my daughters.

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Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, for you or for the mama?

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Speaker 5: Uh well mom, mom had a hard time with him,

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Speaker 5: Like fifteen to eighteen.

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Speaker 1: Everybody has a hard time. I'm gonna go on a

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Speaker 1: sabbatical from fourteen smart.

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Speaker 6: This is this is my very smart.

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Speaker 1: They're all women, So fourteen to like thirty, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: live in Keto, Ecuador alone and just you know, FaceTime

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Speaker 1: them every now and then.

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Speaker 6: You might want to just go to the Galopagos at

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Speaker 6: that point, get it a little further removed from the mainland.

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Speaker 1: I'm safe in Keto anything. Oh yeah, that's and when

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Speaker 1: I get arrest, Well.

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Speaker 5: Why do you go to Pumpkin Reghanta's like Larry does.

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Speaker 5: Larry's happily married, Larry's a family man. Yeah, Larry's been

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Speaker 5: married for thirty years, haven't you forty?

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Speaker 3: Damn forty?

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Speaker 1: How about that? Yep, what's the secret? Larry? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Do what Chaquelle's you to do that.

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Speaker 6: It's spoken like a true bitch, Larry.

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Speaker 1: But Larry's like unemployed doing the dishes, going grocery shopping.

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Speaker 3: Sure, honey, Oh no, I don't. I don't do any

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Speaker 3: of that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, Larry, all right, Yeah, you're making the beds

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Speaker 1: in the morning, You're fucking fucking.

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Speaker 3: I don't contribute. I don't contribute any dirty dishes. I

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Speaker 3: eat it raise every day. There aren't many dishes. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: of course, I help, Shay. I do know which ones

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Speaker 3: the washer and which one is the.

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Speaker 1: Dry all right, so I don't. I don't, I don't.

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Speaker 7: Sorry whatever, both of the like holes are on the

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Speaker 7: top are on the same side.

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Speaker 6: It could be confusing with the washer dryer.

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Speaker 3: Twenty five percent of the of the household chores.

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Speaker 1: Like what what chores do you do?

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Speaker 6: Larry?

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Speaker 3: I give a list.

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Speaker 4: I fall the load while I'm not allowed to. I'm

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Speaker 4: not allowed to do to the laundry because I mess

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Speaker 4: it up. But I do fold the load of laundry

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Speaker 4: once in a while.

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure. I unload the dishwasher ninety of the time.

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Speaker 1: That's about it.

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Speaker 3: I cut the lawn, that's about it.

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Speaker 1: That's not a big lawn to cut, Larry.

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Speaker 3: You know what's not It takes me forty minutes.

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Speaker 1: That's well, how many buds?

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Speaker 5: That's only because you stopped a couple of Yeah that

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Speaker 5: that should take you about twenty minutes to mow that yard.

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Speaker 4: Know more than that, But no, and Dan, I won't

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Speaker 4: drink till three thirty. We got a card game, yea

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Speaker 4: different card game tonight. I won't drink till like four

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Speaker 4: o'clock this afternoon.

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Speaker 1: All right, well congratulating, Okay, you.

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Speaker 3: Know I'm dressed for cutting the lawn. I might go

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Speaker 3: home and cut the lawn to that.

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Speaker 1: You do look like a homeless landscaper. Okay, all right.

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Speaker 5: Recapping from last week, Dylan is the big winner before

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Speaker 5: we go. He won forty five units last week, so

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Speaker 5: your plus thirty four and a half.

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Speaker 6: Just like a plan, Dan, son of a bitch.

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Speaker 5: Shaye lost four units last week, so your plus twenty

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Speaker 5: six units bad. Larry lost four point three seven units

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Speaker 5: last week, so you're a little over seven units on

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Speaker 5: the plus side.

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Speaker 3: What did I lose on, Dan?

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Speaker 5: Let me ask picture de Ray what you lost done?

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Speaker 5: Let me see you go ahead.

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Speaker 8: You lost a bunch of baseball bets last week, Larry,

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Speaker 8: So that's why it's in decimal points because Shay gave

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Speaker 8: me a hard time last week.

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Speaker 3: I lost three baseball bets.

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Speaker 1: I am.

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Speaker 5: You lost Mets Braves, you lost Game one doubleheader Yankees Socks.

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Speaker 5: You lost the EXACTA at Belmont. You lost Gabe vincent

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Speaker 5: over eighteen and a half points, rebounds, assists. You lost

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Speaker 5: on Denver, winning the series in six games. You lost

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Speaker 5: Jimmy Butler last week with points, rebounds, and assists as well.

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Speaker 3: Okay, now my wins.

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Speaker 5: I want to hear wins the Nuggets to win the finals.

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Speaker 5: You got that one with the odds in it. Joker, Yes,

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Speaker 5: at four a quarter. You had a joker winning the MVP,

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Speaker 5: even though two weeks earlier you called him Luka doncik.

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Speaker 5: You had the Nuggets money line and you won Dodgers

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Speaker 5: versus the Braves baseball game.

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Speaker 6: Okaya, thank you.

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Speaker 5: But we had a leader, a new leader in the

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Speaker 5: clubhouse right, and it's Dylan back where I belong.

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Speaker 1: Dan. Congratulations, Nick fucking Taylor.

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Speaker 6: That was the ultimate flyer pick of this century.

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Speaker 1: Well let me hold on. I'm going to recap your bets.

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Speaker 5: Okay, okay, hold on, So we just recapped bad Larry's Shay,

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Speaker 5: let me see when did you win Denver? You won

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Speaker 5: Game three? You lost another bet in that, you lost

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Speaker 5: some baseball we didn't do well in you didn't do

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Speaker 5: well at all.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: The exact you lost that one is, let's see what

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Speaker 5: do I have with Dylan Nuggets to win plus nine

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Speaker 5: hundred his futures bet? You still have the Pirates winning

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Speaker 5: the World Series plus thirty thousand. Yeah, you got a

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Speaker 5: couple of basketball wins in there. You had Aaron Gordon

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Speaker 5: first basket, it did not and then you you really

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Speaker 5: banked heavily on the Nuggets baseball you lost that. You

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Speaker 5: got Golden Knights Panthers under six goals, you won that

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Speaker 5: one Nick Taylor top ten finish and that was plus

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Speaker 5: thirty five hundred, unbelievable.

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Speaker 7: And then like this is how I how fucked up

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Speaker 7: we all are? Is like immediately after winning that, I

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Speaker 7: was like I didn't even care. I was like, God,

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Speaker 7: damn it, why didn't I take him to win? But

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Speaker 7: you can't Yeah, I can't even enjoy it.

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Speaker 1: I know when I put four units on it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, let's see us open, Shay all, Now I think

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Speaker 5: Dylan should go first. Here we go yeah. I mean,

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Speaker 5: Dylan is the leader in the clubhouse here. Let's start

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Speaker 5: with the US Open.

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Speaker 7: All right, Dan, this kind might be kind of a

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Speaker 7: sucker bet, but I'm gonna take Max Helma to win

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Speaker 7: plus thirty five hundred. Obviously very familiar with the course,

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Speaker 7: and just he's kind of ripe. He's due, all right

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Speaker 7: for a major win. Great Twitter follow, great Twitter follow,

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Speaker 7: excellent on Twitter. Okay, Adam hadwin top ten plus fourteen

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Speaker 7: hundred after he got decked by the security guard. I

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Speaker 7: feel like it's gonna be all redemption. Crazy Dustin Johnson

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Speaker 7: to have the lowest total score among all the live

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Speaker 7: players plus six.

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Speaker 5: Hundred because Brooks Koepka I think plus two hundred yea

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Speaker 5: the lowest score for lib players.

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Speaker 1: Okay, anything else.

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Speaker 7: And Keith Mitchell top ten after round one plus eight hundred.

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Speaker 6: I don't know. I keep betting on Keith Mitchell to

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Speaker 6: do something.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why. I do love his swing, but

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Speaker 1: that's I.

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Speaker 6: Can swing, and I do like the visor. I am

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Speaker 6: a visor.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a visor guy.

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Speaker 6: He wears like the funny golf one though, though, like

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Speaker 6: the one that's got the really big front, Like it's

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Speaker 6: not like a football coach.

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Speaker 1: Is it meant to be funny?

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Speaker 7: I feel like there has to be some level of irony,

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Speaker 7: devisor formula one.

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Speaker 1: I imagine you have to throw something on it.

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Speaker 6: I will actually be there this weekend.

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Speaker 1: You're going to Canada.

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Speaker 6: I'm going to Canada for letting you in. Well, I

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Speaker 6: have to get to the border first. But yeah, for

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Speaker 6: the the girlfriend's birthday, we're going to the Grand Prix

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Speaker 6: in Montreal. Okay, so I gotta throw in a question

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Speaker 6: or what?

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Speaker 7: No, Oh, let's see what Lewis Hamilton to win plus

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Speaker 7: eleven hundred.

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Speaker 1: It's been a while for Lewis Hamilton.

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Speaker 6: It has he came. He was on. He gave him

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Speaker 6: on second and last.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, Max verst stopping fastest lap plus one ten, of course,

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Speaker 7: and winning margin between five and ten seconds plus three fifty.

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Speaker 1: Of course.

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Speaker 6: I don't even know if that's feasible.

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Speaker 1: Well, we're gonna find out.

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Speaker 7: Well, I'll get I'll get a little I'll do a

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Speaker 7: little F one coverage while i'm there for the social media.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's nice, Shay, you're up us open hook him,

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Speaker 1: hook them, hook him. I got speed top ten plus

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Speaker 1: two twenty. Then we're going all the way to Japan

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Speaker 1: for Morikawa, he's five six hundred. He's too banged up.

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Speaker 1: No he's not, Yes he is. He's not a bad back.

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Speaker 1: You know what they do to the back standing they

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Speaker 1: shoot him up exactly. Yeah, but drug. I'm just saying,

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Speaker 1: this is exactly my kind of guy in pain needs meds.

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Speaker 1: I don't even think he'll make the cut. Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: you know, side bet? Yeah, side bet? How about a

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Speaker 1: million dollars? Wait, I'll make it. I can't cover it.

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Speaker 1: And then I got can't lay to win the whole

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Speaker 1: damn thing plus sixteen hundred. I like it. Okay that

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Speaker 1: I got baseball. No, I got baseball, but I put

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Speaker 1: him in so late. Ray yelled at me. I forgot

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Speaker 1: that I had a jobby job and I got to

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Speaker 1: actually do shit during the day. Man.

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Speaker 5: By the way, we have odds for Taylor Swift's next boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait for that. Okay, that'll be coming up.

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Speaker 1: I didn't see me on the page.

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Speaker 5: Well, let's see how therapy goes today with your wife.

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Speaker 1: I got the raise raised minus two hundred buckos plus

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Speaker 1: one thirty two in Cleveland plus one ten. That's the

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Speaker 1: baseball bad Larry, you're up start with golf.

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Speaker 3: Just all I have is a US Open all one,

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Speaker 3: all one units.

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Speaker 4: I got John Ram either Top ten's John rom Brooks,

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Speaker 4: Koepka and Victor Hobland, and then top twenties all one

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Speaker 4: units also Patrick Reid, Cameron Smith, Phil Mickelson and Victor.

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Speaker 5: Hoblin Michelson plus six fifty as a top Uh yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I think Phill's gonna have a little

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Speaker 4: little weekend here.

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Speaker 3: Just just a feeling you.

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Speaker 5: You know, you're on zoom and we get to see

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Speaker 5: inside your ear Oh gross.

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm trying to listen to you guys.

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Speaker 6: You have an earwig, Larry.

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Speaker 1: He's like a ninety eight Eldorado. Way you drive? What

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Speaker 1: do you drive?

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Speaker 5: Is that a van?

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Speaker 4: This is a one hundred and five thousand miles on

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Speaker 4: a two thousand and one Mercury Grand.

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Speaker 1: Market, Yes, Grand Marquis.

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Speaker 5: I'm surprised you didn't have a Crown Vic to drive

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Speaker 5: as opposed to this is a literal bookie car.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you are running book.

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Speaker 7: It's either a booking or people who like you just

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Speaker 7: got out of the eye doctor Cardan.

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Speaker 1: What Larry glassy vehicle?

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Speaker 3: I love this car?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what's not to love?

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Speaker 6: You can run shit over and not even feel it?

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Speaker 1: Is there a body in the trunk?

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Speaker 3: I think I might bring this Connecticut the next comge.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, all right.

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Speaker 5: Odds for Taylor Swift's next boyfriend, if you guys would

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Speaker 5: like to, Okay.

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Speaker 1: Here we go. Uh, somebody named Dylan O'Brien. Who's that

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Speaker 1: great name?

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Speaker 5: I don't know who Dylan O'Brien don't either, but he's

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Speaker 5: got the best odds right now.

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Speaker 6: Oh I know that guy.

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Speaker 1: No, this is easy. This is a process of elimination.

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Speaker 1: Who's Dylan O'Brien? A picture day ray?

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Speaker 8: He is an American actor. He's in the Maze Runner,

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Speaker 8: teen Wolf, all three of those.

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Speaker 1: Okay, how old is he?

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Speaker 6: Thirty one?

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Speaker 1: Taylor, she's right there? Oh man, poor thing.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so Dylan O'Brien, she needs a baby plus four hundred. No, yeah,

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Speaker 5: Pete Davidson.

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Speaker 6: That would be my pick. Also value pick plus seven hundred.

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Speaker 1: That dude's uglier and a homemade bowl of bullshit.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, he's just got the secret.

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Speaker 5: John Mayer back again, John Mayer back again. Jake Jillen

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Speaker 5: Hall back again. Drake now Jack Dorsey who gave us Twitter,

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Speaker 5: Michael B. Jordan Bradley, Cooper's in there.

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Speaker 1: The coop is never ever gonna date Taylor. I will

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Speaker 1: put whatever amount of money you'll want on there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the coop will never do it. Why is that the coop?

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Speaker 1: The coop is dating you know diplomats And yeah he's not.

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Speaker 1: He's not around the entertainment industry. I thought he was

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Speaker 1: dating and.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's like a goddamn you know Anthony Wieners.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, which I mean judgment call. Hello, Yeah, talk

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Speaker 1: about couple's therapy. Get they've probably spent their time there, right,

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Speaker 1: how about Luca John Chick? I don't like it. Connor

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Speaker 1: Kennedy dot com put me down one unit.

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Speaker 6: Who's Connor Kennedy.

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Speaker 1: Well, he's a Kennedy. She's got a house in Maine.

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Speaker 1: Kennedy's Rode Island whatever, same New England. I've got a

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Speaker 1: house in Maine. Two you might I'm I'm going with

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Speaker 1: Austin Reeves. Austin Reeves, who's that?

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Speaker 6: But there's already didn't they go to like a bar

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Speaker 6: in Arkansas or something?

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Speaker 5: Well, okay, that's why I'm saying Austin Reeves. I did

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Speaker 5: some homework here, not even on the list.

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Speaker 1: Another unit on Andrew Garfield and Garfield Old Spider.

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Speaker 5: Okay, bad Larry, you want to be in on this

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Speaker 5: at all? Do you have any idea what we're talking about?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: What's what's Charlie Swift's dad doing right now?

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Speaker 1: Retired?

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Speaker 3: Well I'll go, Pete, I'll go Pete Davidson. Just listening

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Speaker 3: to you guys.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right? What does what does Taylor's dad what's

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Speaker 1: he doing now? Have to do with this?

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Speaker 3: I was wondering if he might be in the running

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Speaker 3: for the date date and the daughter?

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Speaker 1: What the fuck? What are you talking about?

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Speaker 6: A country singer?

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Speaker 4: I was thinking Britney Spears, sorry tails forget about that.

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Speaker 7: Okay, well add Britney Spears dad to the list.

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Speaker 1: Who's drinking transfusions? By the way, oh twenty twenty three? Wait,

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Speaker 1: you're calling me out for everybody can drink transfusion. It's

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Speaker 1: for the it's for everyone. It's inclusive.

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Speaker 5: Okay, Okay, kid Rock's not going to shoot them, right,

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Speaker 5: so I make sure he's not lighting them up?

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Speaker 1: Okay, not yet?

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Speaker 5: Okay, all right? Anything else that needs to be brought up?

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Speaker 5: Are you still doing your podcast or did you have to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, no, we took a little hiatus because of

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Speaker 1: the roommate and me having to be I don't know present.

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Speaker 1: It's one of her complaints. Okay, I'm not present enough, okay,

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Speaker 1: and I don't have a lot of patience. Okay. And

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Speaker 1: what did she see in you? That's a good question.

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Speaker 1: She does say that too. You're not the man I'm married.

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Speaker 1: She says that a lot.

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Speaker 6: Who was the man she married?

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Speaker 8: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I never met him. I don't know you met him,

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Speaker 1: you don't remember. I think I was just a really

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Speaker 1: good actor ten years ago and now I'm not. You're

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Speaker 1: mailing it in Yeah, yeah, no, I'm just like revealing

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Speaker 1: my true up, you know, for better or worse. We

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Speaker 1: said it in front of gotten man. You're you're screwed.

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Speaker 1: We signed a contract, Danny, Yeah, you're joke.

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Speaker 6: What is she?

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Speaker 1: There's no backing out of this.

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Speaker 7: What's the roommate's take on your your body art, your tattoos?

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Speaker 7: Like the hymn care yeah Shrie care your back one

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Speaker 7: is pretty impressive.

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Speaker 1: I have to say, yeah, she, I mean, she's not

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Speaker 1: like a fan of them in general, but she you know,

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Speaker 1: we go to like the kids like end of year

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Speaker 1: party or whatever, like there's a fucking you know, kindergarten

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Speaker 1: graduation party. Yeah, some bullshit. You have your shirt off. No,

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Speaker 1: but like my head, you know, I'm flying tight. So uh,

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Speaker 1: she's like, what the fuck? Here we go get you know,

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Speaker 1: because people are looking at it and they're asking, chick,

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Speaker 1: I live in a very well why did you wear

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Speaker 1: a hat to cover up hat? Indoors? I'm a gentleman, Danny,

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Speaker 1: And you got a thirty eight revolver on the side

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Speaker 1: of your head. That's right, Okay, that's right.

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Speaker 5: What's on the back I've seen it's a little riiki ish,

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Speaker 5: hey riker.

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Speaker 6: Third is I'll get the out of here.

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Speaker 1: No it ain't, it ain't.

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Speaker 5: And then on your stomach you got on my stomach,

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Speaker 5: I've got born and bread, born and bread.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. In my back, I've got a whole piece. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's an eagle in the h in the Code of

378
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Speaker 1: the Virgin Mary in German. Right. No, then I have

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Speaker 1: some German lettering on the bottom. I'm very German.

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Speaker 6: We combined the eagle in the German lettering.

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Speaker 5: It's not like okay, and you know what that wraps

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Speaker 5: us up for this week? I want to thank Larry

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Speaker 5: in his uh old car there looking good. I appreciate you,

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Speaker 5: Grand Marquis grand marking.

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Speaker 1: Uh oh, it's just awful.

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Speaker 6: The worst I will see at the shore, Larry.

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Speaker 3: I'll be I'm I go to the beach. Hot as

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Speaker 3: hell down here.

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Speaker 5: Now, Shayan Irving is podcast is called shyan Irving. Wherever

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Speaker 5: you get your podcast? I guess marriage pending. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 5: it'll be back. Don't worry. We're waiting for Danny. We're

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Speaker 5: waiting for Danny to show up.

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Speaker 1: I will show up when you're allowed to drink.

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Speaker 5: And I know your wife won't give us a shitty

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Speaker 5: meal because she's mad at you.

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Speaker 1: We could just spring the drinking on her another meal.

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Speaker 5: None of no, no no, because I get blamed, I'll

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Speaker 5: get a good kickoff.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to get.

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Speaker 5: Blamed, will chiapo, I'm going to get blamed. I don't

401
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Speaker 5: want to get blamed. I want to be in the

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Speaker 5: good graces of your roommates.

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Speaker 1: You should, everybody should. She's a violent woman.

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Speaker 5: She is not a violent angry and uh and Dylan,

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Speaker 5: our graphics guy who right now is the leader in

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Speaker 5: the clubhouse, have a great weekend, everybody, and we'll talk

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Speaker 5: to you next week on Dan Patrick Takes Again

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Speaker 8: S