WEBVTT - Call It with Brooke Shields 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:01.160 Hello, call it Crude. 0:00:01.200 --> 0:00:04.160 Camila and I are devastated by the fires and are 0:00:04.240 --> 0:00:07.600 heart broken by the tragedy and the loss that Southern 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:09.480 California is currently experiencing. 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:14.160 This episode was recorded before the fires here in Los Angeles, 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:17.720 and we will be dedicating a future episode to talk 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:18.520 all about it. 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:23.160 Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camil Luddington, 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:25.480 an iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:35.080 --> 0:00:36.839 Well, Hello, hello, hello. 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:42.000 And welcome to another episode of Call It What It Is. 0:00:42.960 --> 0:00:46.120 You might have noticed that I said hello, Hello, hello, 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.440 and welcome to another episode of Call It What It Is, 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:54.640 because today I am missing one half of my heart, 0:00:54.760 --> 0:00:57.760 the peanut butter to my jelly, the lemon to my lime. 0:00:58.840 --> 0:01:00.920 The what's the word? 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:05.320 Inimitable Camilla Lettington. She would love that I said that, 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:09.720 and then she'd probably toss me a fake insult. But anyways, 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:14.399 today it is just me, or rather you get all 0:01:14.560 --> 0:01:17.800 of me on a very special episode with the one 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:19.000 and only Brookshields. 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:20.760 Brook Shields is. 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:24.880 Honestly, I don't know that you could relegate one job 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:26.440 title to Brookshields. 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:27.600 She's got lots. 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:31.600 I feel like I first came to know her, or 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:35.920 like the first imprinted image is her in those sweet 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:40.080 ass tight Calan kline jeans on some giant billboard somewhere, 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:42.800 with her hair blowing in the wind, and that gorgeous 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:47.480 face and those shiny eyes and that bold brow and 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:52.240 just all of it was extra extra fantastic. That's the 0:01:52.240 --> 0:01:54.480 feeling I feel like I first saw her, and then 0:01:55.560 --> 0:02:00.560 I remember being new to the business and looking up 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:03.600 to her and seeing her around town, and she was 0:02:03.640 --> 0:02:07.360 always so kind and lovely. And then I've continued to 0:02:07.440 --> 0:02:12.000 run into her and have marveled and watched her weave 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:17.760 her way through many, many different jobs. She most recently 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:20.440 can be seen on and around town by the way, 0:02:20.440 --> 0:02:23.680 in a bikini, flanked by her two gorgeous daughters who 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:29.480 are now in college, and after she has started an 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:33.080 inspirational community for women called Beginning is Now that is 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:37.840 transitioning into commence and basically just on the forefront of 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:40.359 all the things that I find myself wanting to talk 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:45.280 about as well. So please please welcome Brookshields. Well, first 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:48.359 of all, I'm so bummed because my partner in crime, Camilla, 0:02:48.800 --> 0:02:51.239 got like a like like she's a real doctor or something, 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:54.760 got called into work at Gray's Anatomy so she's not 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:57.720 here with us today. And then I said, well, I 0:02:57.760 --> 0:03:00.960 gotta say since I since I know Brooke, it's really 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:02.600 her loss, and there's just. 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:03.800 More of you for me to have. 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:08.280 We can handle this. We can totally handle it. 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:09.679 We can talk and talk. 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:11.679 Well, I was going to start with no matter who 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:15.000 was on I have a very for some reason, there's 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:18.440 like these memories of certain people that just get crystallized 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:22.320 and cemented in my brain. And I have this memory 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:26.240 of I don't know, I mean, being sort of feeling 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:30.000 still new and certainly not established on any level, and 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:32.560 going to one of those parties in Beverly Hills at 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:35.800 the new protest store, where you know, we'd all dressed 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:38.760 up and we'd been sent clothes, and while it seems 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:41.600 like it's glamorous, there's something super insecure about it. You're like, 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:44.040 am I wearing the right thing? Does this even look good? 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:44.760 Who? Am I? 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:48.400 Existential crises happen on the way there, all of it. 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:51.280 But I remember getting there and there's so many people there, 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:54.080 and it was a really fabulous party, and I came 0:03:54.120 --> 0:03:56.720 around a corner and I saw you, and you were 0:03:56.760 --> 0:03:59.120 definitely in the middle of doing something important, right like 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:01.560 you were you were there was photos being taken or whatever, 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:04.440 but you turned around and when your eyes met mine, 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:08.280 you just smiled and it was just like the warmest 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:10.560 ray of light and it was like an eyeball hug. 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:13.280 It was like, and I don't know, I don't know 0:04:13.320 --> 0:04:15.200 how to like, I'm clearly making a mountain out of this, 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:19.039 but for whatever reason, that eyeball hug meant some sort 0:04:19.040 --> 0:04:22.000 of confirmation of belonging for me at this party. 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:25.440 All well, I think, you know, I do remember that, 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:27.040 and it's so funny you say, I was in the 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:29.839 middle of doing something important, like getting my picture taken, 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:31.839 which is I know, I know, but you know it's 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:36.520 very important. And I remember thinking, oh, I shouldn't have 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:38.800 picked this dress. This is a stupid dress to pick. 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:41.359 This is so not like chic. It's just too like 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:44.160 colorful and patterny. But that was the theme because they 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:47.080 projected all the patterns on the wall. It was like 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:51.240 this larger than life thing. And you know, I also 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:55.359 am so honestly a fan of people that I'm a 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:58.600 fan of that I watch like I'm a person who 0:04:58.640 --> 0:05:01.160 if you come into my living room in any capacity, 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:04.160 I too feel like I know you, and I am like, 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:06.719 I'm a fan and I know you, and I take 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:11.880 it all very personally and like people do. And I remember, 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:15.520 you know, just going like, oh, oh good, she's here, 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:18.640 like okay, this is really cool and I don't really 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:22.800 really know her, but but okay, she looked beautiful and 0:05:23.360 --> 0:05:26.400 I'm here, and why not just like have fun with it? 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:29.680 Like it just I think it just normalized it all 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:32.359 in a moment because we did make eye contact. And 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:37.479 normally when you go into those places, people are like this, yeah, yeah, 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:40.360 and they're out somebody else and nobody's looking like if 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:42.680 they shake your hand, they're like looking at who's more 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:45.719 famous over there? And yeah, you know, and it's. 0:05:45.760 --> 0:05:48.040 Yeah, like a l it is. 0:05:48.080 --> 0:05:49.560 But you know what, you bring up something that I 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:51.560 think is actually, I just think you're in such a 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:55.080 unique position of I'm I'm gonna even I'm going to 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:56.560 use the W word. I feel like you're going to 0:05:56.640 --> 0:05:58.839 have some wisdom on this, which is we talk a 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:01.480 lot because we have write in and call in, and 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:03.560 we sort of were like, you know, we think we're 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:05.280 not at all, so we think we can give everyone, 0:06:05.360 --> 0:06:07.600 you know, we think we at least have some kind 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:12.440 of answer, but so often what people are reporting and 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:16.400 feeling is self doubt, and so you brought up like, ah, 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:18.560 the first thing that came to mind, like top of mine, 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:20.440 was like, my dress is stupid, right, Like I'm not 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:22.839 wearing the right thing. And it's funny because we just 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.520 heard Demi Moore talk about this in her acceptance speech 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:27.480 the other night in the Golden Gumbs, where it's like 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:31.039 there's always going to be somebody, and sometimes it's you 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:35.240 that makes you feel not good enough or like the 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:36.200 dress you picked. 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:41.159 Was rodd or not really deserving of being there or 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:44.120 And I think that's the plight of an actress or 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:50.600 a creative. You know, I've just recently read this beautiful 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:53.920 book on Margaret Wise Brown, who wrote run Away Bunny 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:56.880 and Good Night Moon. Yeah, and you know, and she 0:06:57.440 --> 0:06:59.880 was made to feel less than because she wasn't an 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:03.360 adult writer. And she you know, she's one of the 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:07.160 most prolific children's book writers and one of the most 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:12.800 poetic sort of extraordinary minds. And you watch her Insecurity 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:17.040 blossom Insecurity's blossom at certain points and you think, like, wow, 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:19.480 this has been happening since the dawn of time, Like 0:07:20.760 --> 0:07:23.440 is it a writer passage. What if we don't get 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:25.840 through it? What if we choose to stay in that 0:07:26.360 --> 0:07:29.880 place of anxiety and insecurity and self doubt? And like 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:32.680 is that fair for us? And like you kind of 0:07:32.720 --> 0:07:35.960 have to at least these conversations are now starting to 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:37.520 be had a little bit differently. 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:41.200 Yeah, when those conversations are happening, do you find in 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:44.840 those moments of self doubt do you have are you 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:46.560 figuring out what your prescription is? 0:07:46.640 --> 0:07:47.240 Like? 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:47.640 Is it? 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:50.600 Is it talking to yourself? Is it phoning a friend? 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:53.880 Is it? Sometimes it's and I said this today to 0:07:53.960 --> 0:08:02.320 my older daughter. Sometimes it's as simple as saying nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, cancel, cancel, nope, nope, nope, nope, 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:08.640 nope no and shift and go like puppies kiddies from 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:12.160 my laundry, and you distract and then you kind of 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:17.120 like shift, and then I start usually thinking of like, Okay, 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:20.000 you're fifty nine years old, are yes still going to 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:22.160 do this shift to yourself? Are yes still going to 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:25.920 let it take your time? Or are you going to 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:28.640 just say okay, that's a part of what happens to me. 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:36.200 But can I make it fuel me to ask more 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:41.360 questions about what I want my future. You know, I 0:08:41.400 --> 0:08:44.400 want this job. Howboud I ask for that job? Or 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:46.280 how about I put myself out there? Or how a 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:48.120 would I say? You know what, I'm going to say 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:50.280 yes to that because it's something that is out of 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:53.079 my comfort zone. I'm going to learn and then you 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:56.160 you sort of make it a little bit more proactive. 0:08:56.760 --> 0:08:59.640 And in that period of time when you realize the 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:03.960 world hasn't imploded because you're wearing the wrong dress and 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.760 that nobody really cares what dress you aren't wearing because 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:12.480 they're worried about their own outfit, you start to just 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:15.480 go like, oh, oh, I want to release myself from 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:19.880 this because nothing is coming out of it that is productive. Yeah, 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:23.400 and sometimes there is a productivity in feeling insecure because 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.960 it causes me at times to take on things that 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:31.040 I'm afraid of, you know, So you have to kind 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:36.000 of be willing to be honest about what it is. Okay, 0:09:36.080 --> 0:09:41.280 golden gloves aren't perfect example, right, you know the way 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:46.360 she was talking about her trajectory, her history, and how 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:51.080 riddled with that that she was insecure. Right, So I 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:53.640 can look at somebody like that, and I can look 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:57.040 at them as a contemporary and say, yeah, I get it. 0:09:57.760 --> 0:10:01.439 I get it, and you know I do want that validation. 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:07.160 But I'm not but but my not but forgetting it 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:10.520 tonight to the last night whatever doesn't take it away 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:13.720 from me. Like when you're young, you sort of think 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:16.520 there's a limited allotment of finance. 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:18.960 Yeah, yeah, that people are allowed. 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:22.160 And yes there's certain roles and we all don't get 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:23.960 them because some adult gets them. Whatever. 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:27.720 That's the nature so many times, Brooks, so many times. 0:10:27.600 --> 0:10:31.600 Majority the majority of my life. 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:34.280 I know, talk about daughter talk. 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:36.760 I say it all the time, especially when those daughters 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:38.920 paint me with like you're perfect. I'm like, do you 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:40.560 know how many do you know the percentage of jobs 0:10:40.600 --> 0:10:43.839 I've actually gotten? Two percentage of jobs I have auditioned. 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:45.320 For, I've gotten two. 0:10:45.960 --> 0:10:49.600 I gets like point two percent I've gotten too. I mean, 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:50.920 I might as well have never got a job in 0:10:50.920 --> 0:11:06.440 my life. I've never worked. You made me think of 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:09.360 you made me think well. I mean, I love Taylor Swift. 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:11.040 I don't know where you land on, Taylor. 0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:12.960 But oh I had the best time in my life 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:14.680 there at the dancing with her mother. 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:17.839 It was serial Yeah mom, I mean she's the best. 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:20.240 She's the best. She was so kind to my daughter. 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:22.560 She gave her the bracelet off her wrist. 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:26.120 She gave one to my daughters too. I was like, oh, 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:29.839 I mean, she's taken that friendship bracelet thing. 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:32.360 And Poppy looked at me and was like, is this 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:32.840 for real? 0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:34.280 And like should I take it? 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:36.480 And I was like, yes, you should, and you should 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:38.080 say thank you, ma'am, thank you. 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:39.520 You should give her one of yours. 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:41.959 Yeah, oh no, she was. She was the initial offerer. 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:46.280 But I remember watching the documentary and then again, who 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:47.840 knows why these things stick in her head, but I 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:50.360 remember when she was talking about her relationship with food 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:53.480 and when she had a thorny one and when she 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.320 was not that was not sustainable and that was not 0:11:56.480 --> 0:12:01.320 literally nutritive. And I remember her saying, always fact check me, 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:03.840 because sometimes I remember things differently than they are. But 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.840 I remember her saying that her mantra in those moments 0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:11.200 of self doubt about that particular issue was we're not 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:11.800 going to do that. 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:13.000 We're not going to do that. 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:14.920 We're not going to do that anymore. We're just not 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.199 going to do that anymore. And I remember, I mean, 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:19.199 it was definitely for me reserved. I think I had 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:22.080 more of it younger, but holy me, I still have. 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:27.320 I still have a storage room for I remember, especially 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:28.959 in the moments of you know, kind of having to 0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:30.880 show up to something, being on the you know, going 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.360 into an audition or something, and catching a reflection of 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:36.480 myself in the in the window, you know, as I 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:39.440 walked away from my car, and I remember being the 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:42.520 thoughts that went through my mind were so unkind to 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:45.760 that reflection, and I remember being like, what is going on? 0:12:45.920 --> 0:12:48.160 Why am I being so unkind to myself? And it's 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:50.440 only making the self doubt worse. It's not setting me 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:53.760 up for success an X, Y and Z and all that. 0:12:53.880 --> 0:13:00.400 And then I remember thinking different way in if anyone 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:03.400 spoke to if I spoke to anyone the way that 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:07.960 I speak to myself, right, I would have I would 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:11.240 have zero friends, and I have a lot of friends. 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:13.560 And I'm so grateful for my friends and I feel 0:13:13.600 --> 0:13:17.839 so supportive. So what if I treated myself like I 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:18.520 was my friend? 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:19.480 Mm hmm. 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:22.839 And it really did like that for me. The self 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:25.679 doubt exactly what you said, like the conversations with yourself 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:29.520 interrupting the cycle saying nope, like, nope, not on my watch, 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:31.319 Like you're not going to fucking say that to her, 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:32.720 not on my watch. 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:36.480 You know. And what's interesting is the two things that 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:39.360 you've just said, you've kind of spoken in third person. 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:44.920 And I think that that's a really interesting psychology that 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:50.319 makes it easier for us to take said mantra. Because 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:54.640 if if if we go back to our normal of 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:59.120 our normal tapes and we say I, and it's like, well, 0:13:59.200 --> 0:14:02.760 I look fat, I look stupid, I look old, I'm 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:05.560 too tall, i'm too short, I'm too lily, that it 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:09.480 immediately goes right back in. But if we say no, 0:14:09.800 --> 0:14:12.600 we're not going to do that. We are a team here, 0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:17.520 and this is collected, like and when you say I'm 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:22.720 going to speak to myself, you're creating just enough distance 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:27.440 so that our psyche can make it less self induced. 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:30.440 If you think about the way the synapses work and 0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:32.960 the way that the brain works, like that stuff is 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:38.720 so interesting to me because that is what I think 0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:41.640 is a really healthy way of doing it. I mean, 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:46.320 I had something one time similar. It was I don't 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:48.840 look in the mirror, right Like I refuse to look 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:50.800 in the mirror for years and years and years now 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:53.600 I do, but for years I didn't. I wouldn't. I 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:56.200 wouldn't look in the mirror. I wouldn't like and in 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:59.840 dance class, I would just fall flat on my cocksit 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:02.640 and I would be in such pain. And then I 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:07.160 was doing this movie where I was I had to 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:11.680 be like walk in looking like ba vum and kind 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:14.000 of sexy and sort of like great, but I had 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:18.600 to deliver some tippid line of something. I don't know 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:24.600 what it was. And I was so out of like 0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:30.160 my own periphery that I didn't I was so unaware 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:34.400 of where I was coming from that repeatedly I kept 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:38.360 running into the wall and it was funny because it 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:40.960 was like, oh, look how clumsy she is. She should 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:44.160 probably be a comedian, Like oh look how Yeah, you 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:47.040 think she's a supermodel, but she's really a you know, klutz. 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:50.200 And that was just you know, that was where the 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:52.760 crew went and everybody because I think they were embarrassed 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.720 for me. But I remember thinking like, oh, that's so 0:15:56.000 --> 0:16:00.080 interesting because you weren't willing to take in who you 0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:08.760 were enough to understand your peripheral, Like I physically walked 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:14.720 into the wall. Five takes in a row, and then 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:17.480 I started thinking, oh my god, I've got a neurological problem, 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:20.120 like this is crazy. And then I took a dance 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:23.400 class and my teacher was like, if you don't spot 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:26.680 and look at yourself, you're never going to be able 0:16:26.720 --> 0:16:30.240 to turn. You will never be able to make a 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:33.240 turn on stage if you don't have a focal point. 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:36.000 And while we're in class, the focal point is the 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:39.400 mirror and if you can't handle what you see in 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:42.480 the mirror, then you shouldn't be dancing at all. And 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:45.480 it was like really tough. It was like harsh, and 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:48.680 I was like, I don't want to. He goes, nobody cares. 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:53.080 They're looking at their own faces in the mirror. If 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:56.480 you don't do it, you're on your own and don't 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:59.160 I don't know, Like he was so frustrated with me, 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:01.920 but it was like love and it was It reminded 0:17:01.920 --> 0:17:06.000 me of that Dove ad where the women described themselves 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:09.800 to an artist who's behind a black curtain and then 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:12.280 describes a woman that they were part of it. And 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:16.480 in every case, the way they described themselves was witchy 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:21.080 and hard and angry and mean, and the way the 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:25.200 other person described them was like regal and strong jaw 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:29.040 and ye yeah, fierce, and you just kind of go like, Okay, 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:31.800 we've been doing this to ourselves for quite some time. 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:34.359 Are we going to stop that behavior? 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:37.960 Yeah, because you're the only one that can do. You 0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:42.000 remember a time where that was a daily, daily like 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:44.760 the hardest for you, or like the lesson that you 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:47.040 needed to learn to get past it to move on 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:47.800 to the next thing. 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:51.720 I mean, I think there was a when I was 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:54.720 on Broadway. I was so one of the times I 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:59.960 was on Broadway, I was so it was so precious 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:04.640 to me doing a Wonderful Town, which was a musical 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:08.640 comedy where I had to sing, dance and be comedic 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:11.760 and all of this at the same time. And I 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:15.760 remember thinking, like, you were going to have to use 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:20.560 these six months, eight shows a week to stop sabotaging 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:26.280 yourself and stop and like and stop doing those ritualistic 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:30.400 OCD things that you do because you feel like if 0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:34.320 you don't put your miscra on in the same period 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:37.199 of time that you count to put your lip on, 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:40.520 like whatever the thing was, I had frenzied myself into control. 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:41.879 I'm going to. 0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:45.119 Step on control, needing control. 0:18:45.080 --> 0:18:47.760 And so I went in one day and I started 0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:52.119 absolutely doing everything out of order, and I waited till 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:54.399 the last minute to get to the theater, and I 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:57.680 did all these things that would have been like made 0:18:57.680 --> 0:19:02.920 me not like really struggle, and I was fine. I 0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:05.919 was fine on mistakes. The world didn't fall apart. Yeah, 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:08.160 And I thought, think of all the time you waste 0:19:09.600 --> 0:19:13.000 trying to control yourself, when if you just were awake 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:16.480 enough to stay in the moment, you'd probably be okay. 0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:19.480 Yeah, but it's but you need to prove it to yourself. 0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:22.480 I needed to go through the discomfort of like, yeah, 0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:26.159 you know, being chicken lit alone, the world's guy's going 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:26.760 to fall apart. 0:19:27.040 --> 0:19:29.800 Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:32.439 And it's funny because you know you were talking about 0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:34.520 talking to your daughter, and you know, I've got three 0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:39.960 daughters and a son, and and I think you so 0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:42.800 badly want to just like hook up like a connector 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:45.640 where you can like download all of this stuff we're 0:19:45.640 --> 0:19:49.000 talking about so you can like spare them these moments 0:19:49.080 --> 0:19:49.920 that they go through. 0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:52.320 And then you have this moment of. 0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:56.520 Realization where it's like, oh, just like you said, like 0:19:57.320 --> 0:19:59.359 I wouldn't count insecuritys, like I wouldn't put in. 0:19:59.400 --> 0:20:00.200 My positive. 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:05.520 But if you can, if you can contextualize it, if 0:20:05.560 --> 0:20:07.879 you can synthesize it in your body and then have 0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:11.480 it come out as humility, right instead of insecurity. Maybe 0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:13.560 it's just like me understanding that, you know, not it's 0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:16.199 the opposite of grandiose, like I'm not all that in 0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:17.879 a bag of chips, but I'm pretty proud of myself. 0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:21.520 I also think humility can be a dangerous word if 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:28.760 not mind appropriately, because humility can in some instances. And 0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:33.040 I've learned this because of self deprecation. Right, I've taken 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:36.199 self deprecation to like a whole new level of like 0:20:36.359 --> 0:20:39.200 it's who I am. And when you do that too 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:43.400 much to yourself, over the course of years, you start 0:20:43.880 --> 0:20:48.520 seeing yourself as less than right if you're not careful. Right, Yeah, yeah, 0:20:48.560 --> 0:20:52.480 I I do think that there's a uh. I like 0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:55.200 the word humility better than I like the word humble. 0:20:55.560 --> 0:20:58.040 But I do feel like our humility needs to be 0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:05.399 extended to ourselves, not necessarily to the outside, because you know, 0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:08.240 I took it to such a I would I would 0:21:08.240 --> 0:21:11.400 like back out of rooms or come in and say 0:21:11.440 --> 0:21:15.000 I'm sorry, or instead of just excuse me, everything was 0:21:15.040 --> 0:21:17.560 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and I was like apologizing for 0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:21.560 living and then you start feeling like, oh god, I 0:21:21.600 --> 0:21:24.960 don't know why I feel so bad about myself. Yeah, 0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:27.399 so's so I try to say to my girls, you know, 0:21:28.240 --> 0:21:32.720 respect is a huge, huge thing to integrate into your lives. 0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:37.439 And that is respect for yourself without arrogance, because I 0:21:37.520 --> 0:21:40.840 used to I used to equate that with arrogance and 0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:47.199 respect for others, others, time, others, you know, feelings at 0:21:47.240 --> 0:21:49.840 that moment. Just try to be aware of them, don't 0:21:49.960 --> 0:21:54.840 undermine yourself so much to uphold them. But again, you know, 0:21:55.240 --> 0:21:59.200 really try to listen, listen to Okay, so you're nervous 0:21:59.240 --> 0:22:02.840 about this, right, My daughter went into like a really 0:22:02.880 --> 0:22:07.239 kind of interesting job where she had to be in 0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:14.480 service and I said, you know, make yourself indispensable and 0:22:14.880 --> 0:22:18.120 and she's like, well, that's I can't think of myself 0:22:18.119 --> 0:22:20.320 that way. And I said, no, no, don't walk in 0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:23.199 thinking you're better than everybody. Walk in and say how 0:22:23.200 --> 0:22:27.360