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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARVIFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours, right it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: Buckle up and hold on type. We got it for

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Speaker 2: you here it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject. I feel like I'm in a

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Speaker 1: three way love affair Stephen Shirley, Good morning. My fiance

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Speaker 1: and his baby mama talk and text message more than

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Speaker 1: I am comfortable with. He claims it is for their

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Speaker 1: two children, but I see where she's crossed the line.

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Speaker 1: Bunches of times she sends selfies to my fiance with

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Speaker 1: a KISSI face emoji every time, and she recently and

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Speaker 1: recently she sent him pictures of her liposuction and breastlift

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Speaker 1: with a kissy face emoji. He excuses everything she does

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Speaker 1: because she also sends pictures of the kids. Even with

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Speaker 1: her new body, she still cannot get a man of

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Speaker 1: her own. I told my man to tell her to

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Speaker 1: stop sending him in appropriate text but he's scared to

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Speaker 1: make her mad and risk not being in his kids' lives.

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Speaker 1: I don't see how that will happen since they're with

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Speaker 1: us eighty five percent of the time. I told him

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Speaker 1: that he must like the pictures because there is no

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Speaker 1: way that he can't tell her to stop sending them.

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Speaker 1: I said something to her last year, and she got

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Speaker 1: mad at him and took him back to court. The

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Speaker 1: judge cided with her and increased my fiance's child support

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Speaker 1: payments or our child support payments, because I have to

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Speaker 1: help him pay it every month. As a family, we

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Speaker 1: cannot keep paying for her to have surgery. Yesterday, I

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Speaker 1: went off on him after she sent him a picture

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Speaker 1: of her new braces. He got so mad that he

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Speaker 1: said he doesn't want any more children for a while.

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Speaker 1: W I'm marrying him with the expectation of starting a

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Speaker 1: family with him. I'm think it's time to walk away

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Speaker 1: from this three way love affair. But I've invested so

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Speaker 1: much time into this relationship. Why won't he tell her

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Speaker 1: to chill? Would I be nuts to marry him and

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Speaker 1: his baby mama? I'm gonna have to say, yes, ma'am,

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Speaker 1: you would, because his baby mama is not going anywhere.

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Speaker 1: She has proven to you that she's vindictive. Didn't you

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Speaker 1: say she took him back to court when you said

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Speaker 1: something to her last year. She definitely doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: hear anything from you, and that's why your man is

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Speaker 1: scared to death of her. He doesn't want to have

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Speaker 1: to pay more or not be able to see his

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Speaker 1: kids as as simple as that. She has a power

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Speaker 1: and she knows it, and unfortunately she will continue to

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Speaker 1: hold these children over his head. By the way, isn't

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Speaker 1: this a whole lot for you? I mean you're helping

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Speaker 1: him pay his child support. His baby mama is tripping

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Speaker 1: real bad sending him suggestive photos and stuff, and now

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Speaker 1: he doesn't want any more kids, but you do. So

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Speaker 1: why are you putting up with all this foolishness? Is

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Speaker 1: my question to you. You are involved in some real

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Speaker 1: baby mama drama here with him and her, and you

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Speaker 1: shouldn't want any parts of that. Please believe this will

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Speaker 1: not change if you guys get married, because his baby

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Speaker 1: mama will really act a fool then, so you know

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Speaker 1: you have a decision to make.

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Speaker 2: That's what I say, Steve, well.

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Speaker 3: It's obvious to me that like it or not, what

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Speaker 3: you feeling is real. I feel like I'm in a

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Speaker 3: three way love affair. Well, you don't just feeling it.

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Speaker 3: That's what you're in, and it's written that way all

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Speaker 3: throughout the letter. I just don't see any redeeming qualities here.

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Speaker 2: For you. I see a lot of benefits for him.

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Speaker 3: You know, him and his baby mama talking text message

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Speaker 3: more than you're comfortable with.

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Speaker 2: That's what is letter. She sends selfies with a kissy face.

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Speaker 3: Emoji every time, and then recently she sent pictures of

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Speaker 3: her LiPo suction and breastlift. Now, the only way you

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Speaker 3: could tell if either one of them has worked.

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Speaker 2: Is you got to see the lipos suction.

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Speaker 3: Area and the breastlift. Now, that skin the only way

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Speaker 3: you can show that work. Very few people can show

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Speaker 3: you it worked with a T shirt on. So now

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Speaker 3: we know what this photo was. And then you know,

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Speaker 3: you say, even with her new body, she still can't

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Speaker 3: get a man on her own. Now, that's because she

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Speaker 3: wants the one she had back and she don't want

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Speaker 3: you to have him. So if she had him wants

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Speaker 3: any work. She's trying to tempt him to get him.

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Speaker 3: That's what this is about. She wants him back, and

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Speaker 3: you've asked him to talk to her about sending these

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Speaker 3: inappropriate texts.

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Speaker 2: He won't do it.

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Speaker 3: Because he says that will affect him being able to

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Speaker 3: see the kids. Now, you said, you don't see how

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Speaker 3: that'll happened since they with us eighty five percent of

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Speaker 3: the time. I mean, do y'all have custody other kids

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Speaker 3: of it? I mean, I don't know what to hear?

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Speaker 2: Who got right? Eighty five percent of the time?

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Speaker 3: A lot? That's too damn much. This ain't cop parent.

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Speaker 3: I told him that he must like the pictures because

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Speaker 3: there's no way he can't tell her to stop sending them.

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Speaker 2: And then she said I said something to her last year.

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Speaker 3: She got mad, took us back to court, increased his

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Speaker 3: child's support because the judge sided with her, And now

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Speaker 3: y'all got to pay more and you have to help

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Speaker 3: him make his payment. I'm like, WHOA, So now you

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Speaker 3: fit to marry a man that can take care of

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Speaker 3: his own business and you got to help him take

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Speaker 3: care of his business? What where does he work? What

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Speaker 3: does he do? How you ain't got enough? Why you

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Speaker 3: need help? With your child support. Yeah, ladies, come on,

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Speaker 3: I'll tell you what. I'm gonna give you my final

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Speaker 3: conclusion because the letter at the end of it says,

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Speaker 3: would I be nuts to marry him and his baby mama?

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Speaker 2: My response to that when we come back.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, excuse me, all right, we'll have part

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Speaker 1: two of your response coming up at twenty three minutes

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Speaker 1: after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters subject I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm in a three way love affair. We'll get back

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Speaker 1: into it right after this. Hey, this is Shirley Strawberry.

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Speaker 1: And you know what it's like. You're driving around all

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Speaker 1: over town and your schedule is packed all day long.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you're booked and busy. That's when your me

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Speaker 1: time becomes even more important. Well, what if your me

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Speaker 1: time and your driving around time were the same. In

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Speaker 1: the all new twenty twenty five Nissan Morano. They can be.

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Speaker 1: I mean, the Morano was literally designed to help you relax.

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Speaker 1: We're talking about ambient mood lighting and over sixty four

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Speaker 1: different colors and a Bose Premium sound system playing all

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Speaker 1: your favorite music, so you can just dial up the

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Speaker 1: music and the lighting to set whatever vibe you want.

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Speaker 1: And just like that, you created your own personal oasis

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Speaker 1: and you're still getting everything done. That's your crazy day, dictates.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's not often that productivity and relaxation intersect, right,

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Speaker 1: but they certainly do. And the all new Morano, because

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Speaker 1: no amount of rushing around is going to get you

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Speaker 1: down when you're chilling in a Morano. Check it out

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Speaker 1: for yourself. Drive the all new twenty twenty five Nissan

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Speaker 1: Morano today. Ambient lighting and bows are optional features. All right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter, the subject I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm in a three way love affair.

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Speaker 3: And you are because you're dating a man who has

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Speaker 3: two children with his baby's mama from a previous relationship

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Speaker 3: that spent eighty five percent of the time with y'all.

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Speaker 3: But she's in constant contact with him with stuff that

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Speaker 3: you say has crossed the line. Recently sent a picture

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Speaker 3: of her lipeo suction in breast lift to him with

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Speaker 3: kissy emoji's faces on it. What you think, of course,

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Speaker 3: he probably liked it because he liked it before it

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Speaker 3: was lifted, and life overt Chancellor. You liking it better

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Speaker 3: now could be greater you've asked him to ask her

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Speaker 3: to stop doing it. He say he's scared because it'll

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Speaker 3: affect him seeing the kids. But you say, you and

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Speaker 3: the kids is together eighty five percent of the time.

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Speaker 3: So I don't really know what's going on right here.

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Speaker 3: And so now when you ask him to stop sending

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Speaker 3: the pictures, she got mad, took.

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Speaker 2: Him to court.

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, You called her one time and told her,

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Speaker 3: said something to her about it. She got mad, took

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Speaker 3: him back to court. Judge sided with him and increased

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Speaker 3: y'all's a child support. Now you mad because you have

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Speaker 3: to help him pay the child support, and you got

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Speaker 3: to help him pay every month. Then you say, as

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Speaker 3: a family, we cannot keep paying for her to have surgery.

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Speaker 3: Then yesterday you went off on him when she sent

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Speaker 3: a picture of her new braces.

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Speaker 2: She live in the best she getting herself fixed up?

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Speaker 2: Support could be.

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Speaker 3: She just asking her exit his opinion of the new

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Speaker 3: body and the new teeth. Maybe that's it. She can't

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Speaker 3: ask nobody else. She ain't got no mama. He got

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Speaker 3: so mad that he said he don't want any more children.

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Speaker 3: For a while, you said, what the hell? I married

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Speaker 3: him with the expectation of starting a family with him.

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking it's time to walk away from this three

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Speaker 3: way love affair. But I've invested so much time into

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Speaker 3: this relationship. Now here's what I always say to women

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Speaker 3: when they say that I've invested so much time. Okay,

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Speaker 3: all the time you've invested, this is what you have

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Speaker 3: from it. Now, let's say it's been four years. Let's

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Speaker 3: say you've invested four years into relationship. You got foe.

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Speaker 2: MO, you want to dump into this because right now

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Speaker 2: the foe has gotten you this.

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Speaker 3: So sometimes people we have to stop looking at what

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Speaker 3: time we invested because we had the time. Some of

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Speaker 3: it was good, some of us bad. You didn't you

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Speaker 3: spent time. But if you're going to look at it

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Speaker 3: as an investment, then you have to look at the ROI,

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Speaker 3: the return on your investment. And if this has been

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Speaker 3: your four, five, six, whatever year investment and this has

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Speaker 3: been your return on the investment, seem to me like

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Speaker 3: this is a bad investment. You know, if you want

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Speaker 3: to use you know, you know, you know financial terms,

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Speaker 3: it just seemed like you'd have made a bad investment.

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Speaker 3: So now you have to ask yourself, do you want

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Speaker 3: to keep putting money into stock that's losing, because right

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Speaker 3: now you losing the money, y'all send it over there.

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Speaker 2: She got her booty fixed. She ain't got loposuction, she'd

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Speaker 2: have got a breast lift.

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Speaker 3: Yes, she got braces. Next thing you know, she gonna

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Speaker 3: come in there and be lighter. You ain't even gonna

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Speaker 3: know who she is. So now, if you say, as

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Speaker 3: a family, we cannot keep paying for the surgery, you shouldn't.

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Speaker 2: Now, I don't he tell her to chill. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Why would I be nuts to marry him and his

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Speaker 3: baby mama? Drummer. Well, a minister told me something I

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Speaker 3: didn't listen to, but he told it to me. He says, son,

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Speaker 3: let me tell you one thing about marriage. The only

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Speaker 3: thing that changes the day after the marriage is the

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Speaker 3: appearance of your left hand third finger.

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Speaker 2: He say.

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Speaker 3: If you saw signs before you got married, you're gonna

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Speaker 3: see them same signs.

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Speaker 2: After you get married.

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Speaker 3: If y'all got problems before you get married, you're gonna

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Speaker 3: have them same problems after you get married. Madge, don't

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Speaker 3: fix nothing, It just puts it into a more difficult

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Speaker 3: situation to get out of. So now, if you're mad,

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Speaker 3: then God so mad because he can't juggle his own obligations,

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Speaker 3: which he can't. He can't pay child support without your help.

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Speaker 3: How y'all, y'all gonna save for a house? Now, let

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Speaker 3: me explain something to you else.

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Speaker 2: She wants children.

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Speaker 3: When y'all go over there, this could happen. I've seen

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Speaker 3: this happen. When y'all go over there and get married

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Speaker 3: and you file joint. They gonna look at his tax return.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and.

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Speaker 3: If he got more money, she can go down there

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Speaker 3: again and get some more. How y'all gonna save for

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Speaker 3: a house?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Steve. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, Junior

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Speaker 1: and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show