1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:06,000 Speaker 1: It's actually a very difficult profession because of the ups 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:10,480 Speaker 1: and downs. Because you are essentially responsible for influencing and 3 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: molding and caring for and protecting and disciplining and. 4 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 2: Inspiring other people's children. 5 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 1: It's something that to me, it feels like a very 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 1: sacred responsibility when you are a teacher, when you are 7 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: a coach, because people are putting their trust in faith 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: in you. 9 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 3: This is the Reform Sports Project, a podcast about restoring 10 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,880 Speaker 3: healthy balance and perspective in all areas of sports through 11 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 3: education and advocacy. Hi, this is Nick Bonacor from the 12 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:40,240 Speaker 3: Reform Sports Podcast. Today, I'm speaking with Janine Tucker, former 13 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 3: head women's lacrosse coach at Johns Hopkins University from nineteen 14 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 3: ninety four to twenty twenty two. Coach Tucker is the 15 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 3: all time winningest coach at Johns Hopkins and in twenty 16 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,520 Speaker 3: twenty one became the ninth coach in Division I history 17 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 3: to achieve three hundred wins. The author of six books 18 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 3: on coaching and lacrosse, Janine and I discussed the joys 19 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 3: of mentoring collegiate athletes why her coaching philosoph revolves around attitude, mindset, 20 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 3: and work ethic and why playing time does not define 21 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 3: your kid. I'm gonna give this guest the damn respect 22 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 3: that she needs. I don't care if she's retired. She 23 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 3: is coach Tucker coach Janine Talker after twenty nine years. Yes, 24 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 3: kick and tail, Coach Tucker, thank you so much for 25 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:19,680 Speaker 3: hopping on. 26 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:22,399 Speaker 1: Oh it's my pleasure, Nick, absolutely, And I think that 27 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: I can't even really not get away. 28 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:25,479 Speaker 2: From coach talker. 29 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: You know, I've been coach Talker for so long, so 30 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 1: my girls are also calling me that, which is really cool. 31 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 3: I didn't even think about this, but like, I'll be 32 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 3: forty four in a couple of months, and you know, 33 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:39,040 Speaker 3: I'll hear occasionally like guys that I played with who 34 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,320 Speaker 3: will call that? Not my coaches, but like who would 35 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 3: call their own coaches, They'll call them by their first name. 36 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 3: And I hear kids nowadays call their coaches by their 37 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 3: first name. And it always kind of like I, Nick 38 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 3: get comfortable doing that. Like, I just don't know, does 39 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 3: that matter to you if someone calls you Jeanine or 40 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 3: is it coach? Like how do you do different? 41 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: Actually it's a great question, because you know I was 42 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: influenced Diane Jeff. 43 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,639 Speaker 2: Aikins at Loyola College. 44 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: I was actually played for Diane and was also able 45 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 1: to coach with her for the first couple of years 46 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 1: of my career before she then encouraged me to take 47 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: the Hopkins job. 48 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 3: And she was. 49 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 2: Always Diane, but she was the one who. 50 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: Said, Janine, when you take this job at Hopkins, you 51 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,799 Speaker 1: need to establish yourself as coach Tucker because you're. 52 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 2: Close in age. 53 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 1: I was very young at the you know, I think 54 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 1: I was twenty five years old when I got the 55 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: job at Hopkins. 56 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,919 Speaker 2: And she said, you know, I've been doing this for 57 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 2: a little while. 58 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: Diane works for me, but I really think you need 59 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 1: to go by coach Tucker to have that little bit 60 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: of separation and make sure that the girls understand, you know, 61 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 1: there's a little bit of a difference there. And so 62 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 1: that was the advice that Diane gave me. Even though 63 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 1: she was Diane to all of us, I was Coach 64 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,919 Speaker 1: Tucker the second I, you know, started. 65 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 2: Coaching at Hopkins, and it's just stuck. 66 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,919 Speaker 1: And you know, I think I'm going to be Coach 67 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: Tucker kind of forever because I don't think I'll. 68 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 2: Ever be able to stop coaching. You know, so it's cool. 69 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 4: That is really cool. 70 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 3: Now twenty five, I mean that's super super young. I 71 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 3: mean you're still young twenty nine years. I couldn't believe 72 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 3: you were coaching that long because you don't certainly look 73 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:09,839 Speaker 3: like you were coaching that long. And secondly, like, that's 74 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 3: a great point that Diane you said, told you like 75 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 3: to create that separation, because leadership is something we talk 76 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 3: about a lot. One of my sons was just asking me, 77 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 3: you know, he's about to be a senior in his 78 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,359 Speaker 3: wrestling room and trying to get some guys to engage 79 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 3: in the off season, and you know, how do you 80 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 3: establish I mean, you could just put a slap of 81 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 3: a name on, say I'm coach, But then it's also 82 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,399 Speaker 3: I would imagine so much more than that. Like, let's 83 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 3: say we can talk about your experience when you were 84 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 3: close in age as a young coach with you know, 85 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 3: kids that weren't that much younger than you. And secondly, 86 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 3: if you could take a step further, how do captains 87 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 3: or how do leaders in it when you're only a 88 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 3: year apart? How do you get those young underclassmen to 89 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 3: follow you? 90 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 1: Well, I think a lot of it has to do 91 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: with mutual respect. So I think that you know what 92 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: I did. When I was first hired. I had a 93 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: number of seniors who were extremely mature, believe it, I mean, 94 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: they were just wonderful young women. And Sonya Dixon was 95 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: my captain when I first took the job at Hopkins 96 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: for field hockey on lacrosse, and I sat down with 97 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: her and was just very upfront about it and said, listen, 98 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: I coached a couple of years under Diane Jeffie Aikins 99 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: at Loyola, I feel really excited to take one and 100 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: lead this program here at Hopkins, which was field hockey 101 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 1: on lacrosse at the time. I coached both for the 102 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: first five years, and I said, I need your buy in, 103 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: and I'm going to need the senior classes buy in 104 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: because your leadership is going to be critical to my 105 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 1: transition being your coach, and I will not be your 106 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,120 Speaker 1: friend until you graduate. So we got to establish this 107 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:36,919 Speaker 1: up front. And my senior class at the time was 108 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: just all in and they wanted the energy. They wanted 109 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,159 Speaker 1: a younger coach to come in and infuse a ton 110 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: of energy. They wanted discipline, they wanted structure, they wanted joy, 111 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 1: they wanted excitement. So I listened to what my upper 112 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,479 Speaker 1: classmen wanted, and I said, Okay, I got you. Now 113 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 1: you got to have my back because you know, I'm 114 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: not out here to have it be where I'm one 115 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: of the girls. You know, I am coaching you, and 116 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,239 Speaker 1: I want you to make sure that we understand there's difference. 117 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 1: But whenever you need me, I'll always be there for you. 118 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 1: And so it worked out really beautifully. 119 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 4: So I'm the same in the same sense. 120 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 3: How would you recommend, like, you know, someone who's an 121 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,919 Speaker 3: up and coming senior, let's say in high school or whatever. 122 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 3: In college, however, and they're trying to establish themselves, how 123 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 3: do you get those those underclassmen to buy in. 124 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 1: It's honestly, a lot of it is intrinsic, nick like, 125 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 1: it's how you carry yourself. It's your body language, it's 126 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:32,360 Speaker 1: your tone of voice, the eye contact, eye contact that 127 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: you make. To be honest, I knew I was going 128 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 1: to get into coaching when I was a junior at 129 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:40,160 Speaker 1: Loyola College, and I think it even stemmed back into 130 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 1: high school because I was named team captives for the 131 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: teams that I played on, and so that gave me 132 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 1: a taste of leadership and a taste of additional responsibility 133 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,880 Speaker 1: and how important it was to be a great teammate 134 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,719 Speaker 1: and to motivate your teammates and to have to be 135 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,719 Speaker 1: a role model because you have this title of captain. 136 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: So that kind of separated you a little bit at 137 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: least the way that my coach is in high school 138 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,719 Speaker 1: and college, you know, asked us to take on that role. 139 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: So I think that's where it started for me, was 140 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 1: being able to be a captain as a junior and 141 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,839 Speaker 1: a senior for field hockey on lacrosse at Loyola really 142 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: put me in a leadership role. And I do believe 143 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: you kind of have to walk the talk. You have 144 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,440 Speaker 1: to through your body language, your eye contact, you know 145 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: how intentional you are with the conversations you have with 146 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 1: your teammates. And then of course being a bridge as 147 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 1: a captain, you need to be a bridge between the 148 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: coaches and the players, and that's a really important kind 149 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,839 Speaker 1: of thing you have to balance, right, is still being 150 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 1: all about supporting your teammates and your peers, but also 151 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: understanding that the coaches are in your face for a reason, 152 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,479 Speaker 1: demanding more out of you for a reason. And so 153 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,600 Speaker 1: I think that's where I got a real good taste 154 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 1: of it, and I had a great role model. 155 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:50,720 Speaker 2: Diane J. P. 156 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: Aikins was an unbelievable role model as a coach because 157 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: you know, she would hug us when we needed it, 158 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 1: she would kick our butts when we deserved it, and 159 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:01,480 Speaker 1: we just knew. 160 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 2: That she had our back and she was fun. 161 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 1: And I really role modeled a lot of or I 162 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: tried to, you know, kind of emulate what Diane did. 163 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 1: You can still have fun and coach with joy and 164 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: be in your player's faces and hold them very accountable 165 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 1: and hold them to high standards. 166 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 2: But come hell or high water, they're going to know 167 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 2: that you love them and that you're there for them. 168 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 2: And so that was kind of how it happened for me. 169 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 4: The accountability discipline piece of it all. 170 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:29,040 Speaker 3: I feel like at times, particularly if you find yourself 171 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 3: you know, get lost in social media. I mean it 172 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 3: gets so misconstrued and you know there's bad stories out 173 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 3: there about you know, abuse and these types of things. 174 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 3: But like you know, when you talk about in your 175 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 3: face and you know, kick your butt quote unquote, I 176 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 3: know what that means. Like you know, people oftentimes will say, 177 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 3: you know, chewing out is not good. I'm like, man, 178 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:51,119 Speaker 3: I've been chewed out many times, sometimes probably five times 179 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 3: a week by my wife because I need it and 180 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 3: we need to. 181 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 4: You know, I'm well deserving of it. 182 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 3: But I mean I had a guest on not too 183 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 3: long ago who was Special Forces, the United States Green Beret, 184 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 3: and he talked in detail about you know, you have 185 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 3: to He talks to his son, who's, you know, in 186 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 3: middle school, and he's like, you have to listen to 187 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 3: the words and not the word, you know, not the 188 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,120 Speaker 3: tone of voice, but the message versus you know, how 189 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 3: it's amplified. You know, there are communicators that are louder, 190 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 3: there's some that are softer. But it's about how how 191 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 3: do you get kids and even parents to understand It's 192 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 3: about the message, not necessarily the delivery. 193 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 2: Well, I tell you what is. 194 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 1: How you treat them every other minute that you're interact 195 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: with them. Because when I'm telling you that, you know, 196 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: if Diane was in our face or she was holding 197 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 1: us accountable, it was because we already had established our 198 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 1: relationship with her. She already every other minute of every 199 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 1: other day made it clear to us that she was 200 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 1: holding us accountable because she believed in us, and that 201 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,080 Speaker 1: was the way I would do it. Whenever I was 202 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 1: in my player's face, it wasn't chewing them out, it 203 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 1: was looking them in the eyes and telling them, I 204 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 1: know you can be better. 205 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 2: I am holding you accountable because I know you can 206 00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,719 Speaker 2: do better or you have more in you. 207 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: And so I think it's the fact with all the 208 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: other time that you spend with your athletes as a coach, 209 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:09,320 Speaker 1: you are establishing that relationship that you need. 210 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 2: So when there is. 211 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 1: Time to pull them in and call them out and 212 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 1: say this is not good enough, I know you can 213 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: give me better. I demand more from you right now, 214 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: they know it's coming from a. 215 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 2: Place of belief and a place of. 216 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 1: Love because of all the other moments that you've interacted 217 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 1: with them leading up to that point. So I think 218 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:29,080 Speaker 1: a lot of coaches have to be really careful and 219 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: really rethink how they demand more from their players and 220 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 1: how they hold their players accountable, on how they maintain 221 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: a discipline and order a structure. It has to come 222 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 1: from a place of love and quite frankly joy, When 223 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 1: you coach with joy and your players know that you're 224 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 1: all in for them no matter what this, whether things 225 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,200 Speaker 1: are going sideways, or not when things do go sideways 226 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 1: and you need to buckle down, or you need to 227 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 1: call them out, or you need to hold them accountable, 228 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,839 Speaker 1: or you need to let them know I absolutely need 229 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 1: more from you because I I know you can do it, 230 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,199 Speaker 1: because I believe in you, because I've. 231 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 2: Seen you do this before. 232 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 1: It also has to end, you know, the accountability piece 233 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: or the in your face, It has to end with 234 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 1: because I believe in you, you know, because I know 235 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 1: you can do better, and I think a lot of 236 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: coaches you know are are. 237 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,840 Speaker 2: Definitely it's challenging. 238 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 1: It is challenging because you got to be so careful 239 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,360 Speaker 1: not to let your frustrations take over the emotion of 240 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,560 Speaker 1: what's happening in the moment. I think a lot of 241 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: times we forget to breathe and get ourselves to a 242 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: neutral place when things are kind of going all over 243 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 1: the place or a little sideways. And so as a 244 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 1: reminder for me, and I got this from Diane, you know, 245 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: she would say when things were really going hardly wrong 246 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,920 Speaker 1: and we would need to call a time out or 247 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,200 Speaker 1: we needed to pull the group in at practice, she 248 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,560 Speaker 1: would look at me and she'd say, breathe, and I 249 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 1: would take a deep breath in and she would do 250 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: the same thing, and the girls would come over and 251 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: they would get in their huddle and she would make 252 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: that eye contact and then she would literally at you know, 253 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 1: maybe it's at the top of her lungs impart the 254 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 1: message that she needed to impart in that moment. But 255 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: then she always and I would try to always bring 256 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 1: the kids in, we're touching hands, we are making sure 257 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 1: that we are culminating with some sort of a let's 258 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,960 Speaker 1: go or we got this or together or family to 259 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: bring us back to the fact that we can do 260 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 1: this and we can do it together. 261 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 3: So those relationships, right, I mean, you know, you get 262 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 3: a freshman on campus and you know you had twenty 263 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 3: nine years of this and I would imagine it's got 264 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 3: to take time, right, So, so how much effort is 265 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 3: put into, you know, for you to really try to 266 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 3: find time to figure out what buttons to push, like 267 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 3: what makes them go into a shell, what makes them, 268 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,080 Speaker 3: you know, respond in a positive way? Like do you 269 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 3: spend like a concentrated amount of time like with intent 270 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 3: really digging deep and trying to figure out the person 271 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,680 Speaker 3: that you're trying to coach to help them become the 272 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:48,959 Speaker 3: best player that they can. 273 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 1: Well, I think you have to. And here's what's tough. 274 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:54,680 Speaker 1: You know, at the high school level or club level, 275 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 1: you don't really have the kind of time that you 276 00:11:56,679 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 1: have as a collegiate coach. So one of the many 277 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 1: blessings that I had afforded to me as a collegiate coaches, 278 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: I had young women for four or five years. And 279 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: not only that, but you start that relationship in the 280 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 1: recruiting process. So in the recruiting process, nick is when 281 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,600 Speaker 1: we would ask a lot of questions, get to know 282 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,080 Speaker 1: the players, be able to spend time with them on 283 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,720 Speaker 1: the phone, over text message, checking on them with things. 284 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:23,079 Speaker 1: So that's where the relationship really starts at the collegiate level. 285 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 1: But when you get them on campus, it was not 286 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: just show up for practice, do our thing, and then 287 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 1: get out of there. Like we would have academic meetings, 288 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 1: we would sit with the girls and get to know them. 289 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 1: We would always have kind of lacrosse and life meetings. 290 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: I wrote a journal that after twenty three years of coaching, 291 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 1: I put so much of what I'd learned as a 292 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: coach down in this. 293 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,240 Speaker 2: Lacrosse in life journal. 294 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 1: And we would actually go through a lot of those 295 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: pages individually with our girls as well as in small 296 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 1: groups and as a team. 297 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 2: So yes, as college coaches, you absolutely. 298 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: I mean I literally got nothing done during the work 299 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: day because I always interacting with my players, and I 300 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: would come home at night and actually get my work 301 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 1: done right because I was the best part of my job, 302 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: And that's what we would say to the girls. The 303 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 1: best part of your day is coming to practice. But 304 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: I do think that what's super cool about coaching is 305 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 1: you've got thirty five young women in front of you, 306 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,240 Speaker 1: and they're all different, and they're all growing at a 307 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 1: different rate, and they're all building their self confidence at 308 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,480 Speaker 1: a different rate, and so it takes a lot of 309 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 1: time to do it right, to figure out, like you said, 310 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: what buttons you can push, how do you motivate a 311 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 1: young woman, What do you know will send her into 312 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 1: not a good place, and how do you avoid that? 313 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,720 Speaker 2: So I just I. 314 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 1: Literally was grateful every day for having the time and 315 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 1: making those appointments or setting the time to set, you know, 316 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,320 Speaker 1: talk with the girls after the fall, before the spring, 317 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 1: over the winter break, after the spring, little kind of 318 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,679 Speaker 1: exit interviews after every year, to give and get feedback. 319 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 2: It was it was awesome, best part of the day. 320 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 4: So you said that you knew it. 321 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 3: Seems like early on you wanted to get into coaching, 322 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 3: So I guess I want to find out as what 323 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 3: was your why? Like what what made you realize like 324 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,720 Speaker 3: this is what I want to do. I mean, clearly, 325 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 3: you're an athlete, you love the love the sport and 326 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:12,719 Speaker 3: all of that, but like what moved you to I mean, 327 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,600 Speaker 3: you did it for twenty nine years. I mean that's 328 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:17,200 Speaker 3: a very long time and at a high level. But 329 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 3: it's not all sunshine and rainbows. It's anytime you're in 330 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 3: leadership and I'm in leadership and my profession and you know, 331 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 3: and being a parent, I mean, for crying out loud, 332 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 3: talk about something that drags you through the mud day 333 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 3: and day out, beat you down at times. 334 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 4: So there's a lot of joy there too. 335 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 3: But I think if you're parenting right, it can It's 336 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 3: it's hard because it's a constant battle, you know at times, 337 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 3: especially as they get to be teenagers. So like, what 338 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 3: was your why? What kept you in the fight? And 339 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,160 Speaker 3: did your did your why evolve. 340 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:45,760 Speaker 4: As the years went on? 341 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, such a great question. 342 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 1: So I actually didn't know I wanted to get into 343 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: coaching until Diane made me interview and basically accept the 344 00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 1: Hopkins job when it came availed. 345 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 2: But what happened was I knew I. 346 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: Could influence my teammates as a captain when I was 347 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 1: playing sports, and I started to realize that in high school, 348 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: and then it really kind of came to fruition and 349 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: I really kind of understood in college that I was 350 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 1: able to uplift and inspire and influence and motivate and 351 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 1: support my teammates. So I kind of knew that I 352 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: loved being a part of a team and being. 353 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 2: In a leadership role on a team. 354 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 1: What then happened was Diane asked me to be her 355 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,520 Speaker 1: assistant coach at Loyola back in the day, and for 356 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 1: those first couple of years, I just. 357 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,040 Speaker 2: Thrived kind of watching her. 358 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: And being able to put those skills that I learned 359 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,880 Speaker 1: as a captain really to work in more of a 360 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: leadership role as an assistant coach with Diane. But I 361 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,040 Speaker 1: still I had been working at the Center for Professional 362 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 1: Development at Loyola. 363 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 2: And I was, you know, kind of a coaching. 364 00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 1: But also had a foot in, you know, doing professional 365 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 1: development for businesses. 366 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 2: And things like that. I just I wasn't quite. 367 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 1: I knew I loved coaching, but I didn't know if 368 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,040 Speaker 1: that that was going to be my profession. And then 369 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 1: Diane made me work the Bob Scott lacrosse camp at Gilman. 370 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 2: School and. 371 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 1: Mister Scott, you know, she would run the women's side, 372 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 1: and he was the legendary athletic director at Hopkins All 373 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 1: I miss him every day. And so Diane this particular camp. 374 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 2: I think I'd only coach with her for two years. 375 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 1: She said, you know what, Janine, I'm I'm not really 376 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you do all the teaching today. I'm 377 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 1: really not kind of feeling it, don't feel so hot. 378 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,600 Speaker 1: I want you to do all the teaching at camp. Well, 379 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 1: I kind of wet my pants instantaneously, and I'm like, 380 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 1: excuse me, And I mean, mister Scott, there was like 381 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: I felt like two thousand kids were there, and she goes, yeah, 382 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 1: because we would group teach everything. The coaches would get 383 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,960 Speaker 1: up do the teaching, and then we would send them 384 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 1: off in their groups to do the you know, the 385 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: skill building and the repetition. So I did all the 386 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 1: teaching for her for that particular camp. And that's how 387 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: mister Scott, you know, basically got to Diane and said, 388 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,960 Speaker 1: you know who's this. This is Jeanine Cormanic at the 389 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 1: time was my name, and he was like, oh boy. 390 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:10,040 Speaker 1: And he had a position come up, you know, shortly 391 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 1: after I had gotten married and the position at Hopkins 392 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: came open and went in and I was like, you know, 393 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,200 Speaker 1: I'm Jeanine Tucker blah blah blah, and he was like, oh, 394 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,400 Speaker 1: I know from my camps and he said. We basically 395 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 1: talked about the coaching position that was open field hockey 396 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 1: and lacrosse, and I just thought I was there to 397 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 1: chat with him about the job. And the next thing, 398 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 1: you know, he said, well, you're gonna be my next coach. 399 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 1: And I kind of lost all the color in my 400 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 1: face and I was like, excuse me, and he was 401 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,679 Speaker 1: like yep. He's like, I'm gonna get your contract and 402 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,119 Speaker 1: you're gonna be my next coach. And I said I 403 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,119 Speaker 1: was kind of like fumbling all over myself, and so 404 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,720 Speaker 1: I left his office. I kind of blacked out after that, 405 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,920 Speaker 1: and I called Diane right away and I was like, die, 406 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 1: and she said you will take that job. I said, Die, 407 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,160 Speaker 1: I've never been you will. She didn't even let me finish. 408 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 1: You will take that job. You will take that job, 409 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 1: and I will help you and I will support you, 410 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,240 Speaker 1: and you will not fail. And you just need to 411 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:05,840 Speaker 1: be a free in who you are, and you need 412 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,399 Speaker 1: to come up with your coaching philosophy. 413 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,240 Speaker 2: And I was like, oh my god, a coaching philosophy. 414 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:14,879 Speaker 1: So I actually she made me sit and think about 415 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: the things. 416 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,479 Speaker 2: That were important to me as a player. 417 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:22,119 Speaker 1: And I had come up with three things, attitude, mindset, 418 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:22,879 Speaker 1: and work ethic. 419 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 2: And she said, okay, there you go. 420 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,040 Speaker 1: You're going to build everything you do around attitude, mindset, 421 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: and work ethic. And I said, wait, you know something 422 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,360 Speaker 1: else that's really important to me is. 423 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,639 Speaker 2: Like to play with joy. 424 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,640 Speaker 1: And she goes, okay, well, then you're going to coach 425 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 1: with joy and you're going to encourage your players to 426 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: play with joy, and it's all going to revolve around attitude, mindset, 427 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 1: and work ethic. 428 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,040 Speaker 2: Go. And I was like, oh man. 429 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: So I called mister Scott back the next day and 430 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 1: I said, Sara, I would be honored to accept this 431 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 1: position as your headfield hockey and lacrosse coach. 432 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 2: And he said, all right, let's go and. 433 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,399 Speaker 1: Then that was kind of the end of it, and 434 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,639 Speaker 1: then it was twenty nine years later, and you know, 435 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 1: to that point, just to bring up mister Scott, so 436 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: after he passed, Hopkins erected a bronze statue of him 437 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 1: right outside of the Corysill Cross Center. And that is 438 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 1: one thing that I really, really really miss every morning 439 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,640 Speaker 1: that I would come in and walk past mister Scott's 440 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,879 Speaker 1: statue to go to work, and every night when I 441 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 1: would leave, I would always say good morning Bob and 442 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 1: good night Bob. And so I do miss because my 443 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,399 Speaker 1: new office I'm still at Hopkins in the Office of 444 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 1: Alumni Relations, and my new office is not right there, 445 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,439 Speaker 1: of course by the field. So that is something that 446 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 1: I absolutely miss is seeing mister Scott every day. 447 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, first of all, I could you know you talk 448 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 3: about joy, your passion, your enthusiasm is just it's infectious 449 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:41,640 Speaker 3: and it's so obvious. I love it, and you know, 450 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,200 Speaker 3: it's something that obviously is intrinsic, it's who you are. 451 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,120 Speaker 3: But there's a lot of folks out there who aspire 452 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 3: to be coaches, who aspire to be leaders, and maybe 453 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 3: don't have the same patch like you know from the 454 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:58,920 Speaker 3: early stages of coaching. Now people see college football contracts 455 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 3: and coaching and multi you know, I find it like, 456 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,919 Speaker 3: in order to really achieve the best version of yourself, 457 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 3: you can't chase, you know, monetary gains. You know, I 458 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,200 Speaker 3: feel like there has to be something more to it, 459 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,400 Speaker 3: and then if those monetary gains come as a result, 460 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 3: then great, But doesn't have to start with that passion 461 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,679 Speaker 3: of like I really want to be whatever it is. 462 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,199 Speaker 3: But particularly in something like coaching, where I don't think 463 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 3: it's all glitz and glamour when you're starting out, like, 464 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 3: doesn't it take a little it's a it's quite a 465 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 3: bit of a grind from what I've understood. 466 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 2: Oh, you know what, it is not easy. 467 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,360 Speaker 1: It's actually a very difficult profession because of the ups 468 00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:42,560 Speaker 1: and downs. Because you are essentially responsible for, you know. 469 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 2: Other people's children. 470 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:47,960 Speaker 1: You're responsible for influencing and molding and caring for and 471 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:53,479 Speaker 1: protecting and disciplining and inspiring other people's children. And you know, 472 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,320 Speaker 1: it's something that to me, it feels like a very 473 00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 1: sacred kind of responsibility when you are a teacher, when 474 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 1: you are a coach, because people. 475 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 2: Are putting their trust and faith in. 476 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:08,360 Speaker 1: You, in how you do impact and inspire their children. 477 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,639 Speaker 1: So I always took that very much to heart, and 478 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: I tried to handle my girls the way I would 479 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 1: want someone treating my boys. So I have two boys, 480 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:23,119 Speaker 1: Ryan and Devin, both athletes, both played lacrosse, and I 481 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: always wanted to keep them in mind when I was 482 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,080 Speaker 1: working with my young women, because I just wanted somebody 483 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,440 Speaker 1: to try to take care of my boys and hold 484 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:36,680 Speaker 1: them in high regard and respect them and challenge them 485 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,959 Speaker 1: and push them and love them through the sport that 486 00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 1: we love. So I think that's a really You're right, 487 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: it's not easy. It is the best job out there. 488 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,919 Speaker 1: It's such an incredible opportunity to influence young people and 489 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,600 Speaker 1: watch them, especially as a collegiate coach, where you can 490 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 1: watch them over four or five six years that you're 491 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,880 Speaker 1: influencing them or that you're interacting with them. 492 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,719 Speaker 2: And then they go take on the world. It is. 493 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 2: It gives me chills talking about it right now. 494 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,639 Speaker 1: I'm so proud of the young women that I was 495 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: blessed to influence and to coach over my twenty nine years. 496 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,360 Speaker 3: When we come back, coach took her and I discussed 497 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 3: why when recruiting she looks for two people and one body. 498 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 3: Before we go to break, I wanted to share another 499 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 3: update with you from our friends at Team Snap. On 500 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,359 Speaker 3: an earlier episode of this podcast, Peter Francillis, CEO of 501 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 3: Team Snap, shared how we saw technology evolving. 502 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 4: Within the youth sports industry. 503 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,199 Speaker 3: While Team Snap has been busy this summer expanding the 504 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:35,040 Speaker 3: capabilities and functionality of their industry leading platform, they also 505 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:38,480 Speaker 3: recognize that change can be uncomfortable or simply overwhelming for 506 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,760 Speaker 3: some users. So to help support their platform users, both 507 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,680 Speaker 3: existing and newcomers, Team Snap is hosting another free webinar 508 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 3: called Beyond Basic Scheduling for your Youth Sports Organization a 509 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,840 Speaker 3: complete look in the Team Snap's Master Calendar. Join Team 510 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 3: Snap on Tuesday, August twenty ninth at one pm Eastern 511 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,200 Speaker 3: eleven am Mountain Time to learn how to use Team 512 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,359 Speaker 3: Snap's new Master Calendar for more than just your youth 513 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:05,520 Speaker 3: sports organization's basic scheduling needs. With the Team Snap Master Calendar, 514 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,639 Speaker 3: administrators now have a centralized view of every team and 515 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:12,640 Speaker 3: season scheduled event for their organization. During this free webinar, 516 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 3: you'll get a complete look in at how to efficiently view, 517 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:19,440 Speaker 3: edit and access to your organization's team and season scheduled 518 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:23,120 Speaker 3: events within the new Master calendar available on the all 519 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,480 Speaker 3: new team Snap for Business platform. Head to teamsnap dot 520 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,919 Speaker 3: com today and register for the free webinar Beyond Basic 521 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:34,119 Speaker 3: Scheduling for your youth sports organization on Tuesday, August twenty ninth, 522 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,400 Speaker 3: at one pm Eastern eleven am Mountain Time. 523 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,360 Speaker 4: Welcome back where we left off. 524 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,560 Speaker 3: Jeanine and I were about to talk about the importance 525 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,160 Speaker 3: of listening to your kids when they open up about 526 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,639 Speaker 3: their youth sports experiences. So as parents listen to this, 527 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,360 Speaker 3: you know they're navigating this youth sports culture, which sure 528 00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:58,680 Speaker 3: as hell has changed over the last twenty nine years. 529 00:23:58,760 --> 00:23:59,639 Speaker 4: It's tough to navigate. 530 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,119 Speaker 3: It's tough to know who has your kid's best interest right, 531 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 3: Who is you know, in it for the money grab 532 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,440 Speaker 3: or trying to get you to you know, just look 533 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 3: out for their own best interests. And it's really it's 534 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,359 Speaker 3: really hard, and a lot of people have limited options. 535 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 3: There's travel clubs and all that that you have to 536 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,200 Speaker 3: pay for. So parents have, I mean to a certain degree, 537 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,439 Speaker 3: the power and that they can either sign their kid 538 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:23,399 Speaker 3: up and pay or not. 539 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,360 Speaker 4: But you're also limited, like. 540 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,520 Speaker 3: How do you weed out the bad guys per se? 541 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 3: Is there any do you have any experience, you know, 542 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 3: dealing with youth clubs? Are there any red flags that 543 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,439 Speaker 3: maybe oftentimes we hear parents say, you know, people try 544 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 3: to pigeonhole you. They don't want you to play different sports. 545 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,359 Speaker 3: They want a full year round commitment. I know, I 546 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:42,800 Speaker 3: see it all the time in baseball, and I hear 547 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,639 Speaker 3: it all about all the time in soccer, And it 548 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 3: doesn't really matter the sport. But are there any red 549 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,879 Speaker 3: flags that parents should look out for, like, hey, that's 550 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,399 Speaker 3: probably a club that you know, we should stay away from, 551 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,399 Speaker 3: or you know, what would be some advice you'd give 552 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 3: to parents how to navigate youth sports today? 553 00:24:56,119 --> 00:25:00,000 Speaker 1: That's that's a very challenging question. And to be honest 554 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 1: with you, sports in general, life in general is not 555 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,000 Speaker 1: all sunshine and rainbows, right, So a lot of the 556 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,959 Speaker 1: difficult things that we have to handle as a parent 557 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,480 Speaker 1: of an athlete, that also is going to help kind 558 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 1: of shape and mold and grow your kid, right, And it. 559 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 2: Happened for me with my two boys. 560 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 1: You know, whether it's playing time, whether it's having navigated 561 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 1: coach that's you know, really demanding or maybe doesn't have 562 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 1: the best delivery all the time, or is a little 563 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 1: more scary versus nurturing. Like all those experiences do go 564 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 1: into helping to you know, kind of mold and influence 565 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:40,480 Speaker 1: your child. 566 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,159 Speaker 2: But what I will say is, if ever. 567 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:47,120 Speaker 1: A parent is watching a coach interact with their son 568 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 1: or daughter and it doesn't feel right, or they're watching 569 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,119 Speaker 1: the behavior on the side of lines or there you know, 570 00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:56,200 Speaker 1: kid is coming home and saying they don't want to 571 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,199 Speaker 1: go back to practice, I mean, it's worth a conversation, 572 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 1: right if it doesn't feel right or it doesn't seem right. 573 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,320 Speaker 2: I would encourage all. 574 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,400 Speaker 1: Moms and dads to talk to their son or daughter 575 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,879 Speaker 1: just have some conversations. You can't protect them from having 576 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:13,080 Speaker 1: their heart broken or not being a starter, or you know, 577 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 1: messing up in a game and maybe the coach pulls 578 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 1: them out. They're all teachable moments. They're all really really 579 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:23,679 Speaker 1: teachable moments. They don't feel good, some feel downright awful. 580 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 1: But as a mom, you know you can have a conversation, 581 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 1: and a dad you have the conversations with your son 582 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 1: or your daughter and you can try to help them 583 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,480 Speaker 1: navigate it. But I would say is if something doesn't 584 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 1: feel healthy or doesn't feel right, I would look into it. 585 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:39,920 Speaker 1: I just wouldn't turn a blind eye and just drop 586 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,960 Speaker 1: your kid off at practice and leave. Would I would 587 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 1: talk to your son or your daughter and let them 588 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 1: because that's really important too, is to have the ability 589 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 1: to communicate with our children and have them trust us. 590 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:52,840 Speaker 2: You know. I'd always say. 591 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,800 Speaker 1: Whenever the parents got really upset about something, or whether 592 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,359 Speaker 1: it's playing time or whatever the case may be, I 593 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 1: always reminded myself that we behave that way as parents 594 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: for the love of our kid, right. And so I 595 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 1: think that there are challenging coaches out there. I think 596 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,320 Speaker 1: there's some unhealthy things going on out there. I think 597 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:14,320 Speaker 1: that I fully support kids playing multiple sports. I think 598 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:18,480 Speaker 1: to specialize in something from six years old on is 599 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 1: not the best idea because you really put your muscles 600 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 1: and your body in a situation to get used to 601 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,679 Speaker 1: certain movements, and then when other movements enter into that phase, 602 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 1: that all kinds of injuries can happen. And I really 603 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,359 Speaker 1: believe my mom made us do everything, made us. 604 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,240 Speaker 2: Play every sport, and then we could pick. 605 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,720 Speaker 1: The ones that we really liked. But I love multi 606 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 1: sport athletes. I am an absolute advocate for multi sport athletes. 607 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 1: And I will tell you my son Ryan was a 608 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 1: very very talented lacrosse player all through middle school, on 609 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,960 Speaker 1: high school and at Gilman High School. You know, he 610 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,400 Speaker 1: was like one of the scuds on the lacrosse team. 611 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,880 Speaker 1: But I will tell you he played soccer, and he 612 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,720 Speaker 1: was on the bench in soccer, and he had to 613 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 1: learn how to be a lead or in both a 614 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:05,399 Speaker 1: starting role for lacrosse as well as coming off the 615 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,439 Speaker 1: bench and in a supporting player role. Best thing that 616 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,359 Speaker 1: could happened to him, and he really you know, I 617 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,120 Speaker 1: was so proud of him. He was voted the best 618 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 1: teammate in the MLL the year that he retired, and 619 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:20,640 Speaker 1: that award meant more to him than the Professional Lacrosse 620 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:25,200 Speaker 1: Championship that the BayHawks won when he was with them. 621 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:24,639 Speaker 2: You know. 622 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,600 Speaker 1: And so being able to learn how to be a 623 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,359 Speaker 1: great teammate through all the ups and downs. You know, parents, 624 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:32,080 Speaker 1: when your kids are going through really tough stuff, know 625 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 1: that it's helping to to, you know, build their resilience, 626 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:40,000 Speaker 1: their grit, their perseverance. But if ever anything feels unhealthy 627 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,240 Speaker 1: or it just doesn't feel right, no. 628 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:43,000 Speaker 2: Matter what it is. 629 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 1: I really think you've got to have a deeper conversation, 630 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 1: look into it, and then make a decision if you 631 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,280 Speaker 1: need to make a change. 632 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,280 Speaker 4: That's such a good point. It's it's a tough thing. 633 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:57,000 Speaker 3: It's balancing that that line of discomfort versus you know, 634 00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 3: allowing our kids giving them the freedom to fail, giving 635 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,120 Speaker 3: them the space to fail, encouraging them that like, hey, 636 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 3: you're gonna feel challenges and you're gonna feel struggle, and 637 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,400 Speaker 3: we're going to lean into that versus we're gonna run away. Right, 638 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:12,000 Speaker 3: So let's take the there's nothing unhealthy in the equation. 639 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,080 Speaker 3: But my kid is struggling because they aren't getting playing 640 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,200 Speaker 3: time or you know they Yeah, they feel like the 641 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 3: coaches quote unquote screwing them over. You know, he's not 642 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:22,960 Speaker 3: giving me a chance. He or she's not giving me 643 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,480 Speaker 3: a chance, and YadA, YadA, YadA. How do you handle 644 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:26,120 Speaker 3: that as a parent? 645 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:28,320 Speaker 2: For you, well, I'll tell you. 646 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,120 Speaker 1: You talk to your son or your daughter about what 647 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:34,280 Speaker 1: they're doing every day at practice. Are they showing up 648 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 1: with a great attitude, are they bringing positive energy, are 649 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,040 Speaker 1: they bringing great body language? Are they hustling on every play? 650 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,880 Speaker 1: Are they asking questions so they can learn their craft. 651 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,920 Speaker 1: Are they putting an extra time outside of practice? Are 652 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,760 Speaker 1: they getting on the wall if they're a lacrosse player, 653 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,959 Speaker 1: are they getting extra touches if they're a soccer player, 654 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,440 Speaker 1: are they really investing in themselves and their growth? And 655 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,080 Speaker 1: then it's really important to have a conversation with your 656 00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 1: son or your daughter about the fact that at this 657 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,480 Speaker 1: point in your life you may not be top dog, 658 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,840 Speaker 1: or you may still be growing. You're learning the nuances 659 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 1: of the sport. You've got to worry about your IQ. 660 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 1: Do you truly understand the you know kind of what's 661 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,560 Speaker 1: happening on the field in front of you with your IQ, 662 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 1: and you let them know that they're on a journey, 663 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 1: that this is not where they're going to stay. If 664 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,600 Speaker 1: they continue to put the time, energy and effort in, 665 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 1: they will grow in that sport, but they may not 666 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,720 Speaker 1: ever become one of the superstar starters. 667 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:28,480 Speaker 2: It depends on. 668 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,840 Speaker 1: Their athletic ability. It's okay to say, what else are 669 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,560 Speaker 1: you getting from this experience? What else are you getting 670 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,000 Speaker 1: by being on this team? What else is important to 671 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 1: you when you show up every day and you get 672 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,160 Speaker 1: a workout in and you're with your teammates, you have 673 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 1: that camaraderie and you go through the tough stuff together 674 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,560 Speaker 1: and you've made your best friends through this sport. I 675 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 1: think it's really important to move away from playing time 676 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,560 Speaker 1: defines my kid. Playing time does not define your kid. 677 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:53,640 Speaker 2: What defines your. 678 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,120 Speaker 1: Kid is how they treat their teammates, how they treat 679 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 1: other people. How confident are they becoming because of the 680 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,560 Speaker 1: things that they have to go through. You know, what 681 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,200 Speaker 1: value are they bringing in the classroom? What value are 682 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:05,360 Speaker 1: they bringing on the bus? 683 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:06,040 Speaker 2: Right? 684 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 1: So, I think that that's something where you know, the 685 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 1: playing time and it's it's it's so yes, I know 686 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 1: it's so important, and it's really coveted, and I get that, 687 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,640 Speaker 1: I really do. But I think we also have to 688 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:21,480 Speaker 1: have conversations with our athletes, as coaches and with our 689 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,239 Speaker 1: sons and daughters about what else are you getting by 690 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,720 Speaker 1: being on that team? How else is this a value 691 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:27,960 Speaker 1: add in your life? 692 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 2: Right? 693 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 1: And I think so them seeing that all the experiences 694 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,959 Speaker 1: that they're going through as an athlete in that particular sport, 695 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,520 Speaker 1: all the ups and downs, the playing time earned or 696 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,080 Speaker 1: the playing time taken away, or whatever it may be, 697 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,720 Speaker 1: it's part of their journey and it's what's going to 698 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,440 Speaker 1: end up helping them do life. 699 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,560 Speaker 2: I think that's really important. 700 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:47,960 Speaker 4: Is it okay? 701 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,760 Speaker 3: Now I'm asking you a question that I know the 702 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,719 Speaker 3: answer to for me and my kids and how I 703 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,720 Speaker 3: handle it. But by the bet what you're going to say, 704 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,040 Speaker 3: I think you will. But it's kind of like one 705 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,480 Speaker 3: of those I'm putting out of tea and I want 706 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,640 Speaker 3: to I want to hear you go bananas on it? 707 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:04,000 Speaker 3: Is it okay to remind your kid? Let's say that 708 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,440 Speaker 3: they're seventh and eighth grade, right, they're starting to you know, 709 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,320 Speaker 3: the competitiveness is starting to pick up. Not everyone makes 710 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,560 Speaker 3: the team. You know, they're starting to get to you know, 711 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:16,160 Speaker 3: just under twelve, thirteen or teenage years they're thinking about 712 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,800 Speaker 3: high school sports and where you know, you get cut, 713 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,360 Speaker 3: you know type thing. It's like, is it okay to 714 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,719 Speaker 3: remind your kids? Like no one owes you anything? Like 715 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:28,120 Speaker 3: it's great to show up, but you don't just get 716 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:32,720 Speaker 3: like what you want strictly by being present, Like you 717 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,239 Speaker 3: do have to earn things, you have to work, you 718 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 3: have to put an effort, and being so much is 719 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,960 Speaker 3: like letting them know that you're not owed anything. 720 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that, boy, is that a hard conversation 721 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 1: to have with your kid, right, especially depending on what 722 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,840 Speaker 1: age they are. But I think what we have to 723 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 1: talk a lot about is what are you going to 724 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 1: do next? 725 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:51,160 Speaker 2: Yep, that sucked. 726 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:52,880 Speaker 1: I think you got to acknowledge it. That sucked to 727 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,160 Speaker 1: get cut. That was a bummer. Well what are you 728 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,640 Speaker 1: going to do about it? Do you like the sport 729 00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:58,360 Speaker 1: enough to keep working? Do you want to get an 730 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,720 Speaker 1: extra trainer or do you want to get some extra 731 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:02,640 Speaker 1: reps in, or do you want to play on a 732 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 1: club team that'll help you get yourself where you need 733 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,480 Speaker 1: to be to try out for that JV or that varsity. 734 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,200 Speaker 1: I always love the story of Michael Jordan, you know, 735 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,680 Speaker 1: getting cut and all you know. I tell you, it's 736 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 1: like so many amazing athletes have failed, right, so many 737 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,400 Speaker 1: people that have reached a real pinnacle in their athletic 738 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:23,400 Speaker 1: career have also failed a lot. And I think that 739 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:26,719 Speaker 1: it's something where, no, you don't just just by showing up. 740 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 2: Not everybody should get a trophy. 741 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:30,920 Speaker 1: I think what you can take from getting cut, from 742 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 1: those terrible losses, there's really difficult challenges that you face. 743 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,960 Speaker 2: What we have to do is just talk about it. 744 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:40,040 Speaker 1: It's okay to let the kid cry if they got cut, 745 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:41,880 Speaker 1: But it's also okay to say, all right, we're not 746 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:43,440 Speaker 1: going to stay here, We're not going to feel sorry 747 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,000 Speaker 1: for ourselves. What do you want to do about it. 748 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,320 Speaker 1: I'll take you out in the backyard. I'll help you 749 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,960 Speaker 1: work with another trainer. I'll put some extra time in 750 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,360 Speaker 1: so we can watch some video together. Let's get back 751 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,000 Speaker 1: to having some fun with the sport. Let's try another sport. 752 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:59,200 Speaker 1: Maybe basketball isn't your sport. Let's try something else. Let's 753 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,600 Speaker 1: see if you like it. Right, So, I do think 754 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 1: it's it's hard. Who likes to fail or get cut 755 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,920 Speaker 1: or miss the mark, None of us, no matter what 756 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,279 Speaker 1: age you are. But the more we're able to talk 757 00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:12,120 Speaker 1: about the fact that that really. 758 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:14,799 Speaker 2: Hurt that, I'm sad. Yep, I hear you. 759 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:16,719 Speaker 1: But are we going to quit or are we going 760 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,440 Speaker 1: to keep working or keep fighting? Because they both hurt. 761 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,640 Speaker 1: It hurts to put the extra time in. It's really 762 00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:23,920 Speaker 1: hard to put those extra reps. 763 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,040 Speaker 2: In, and it's hard to quit. 764 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,160 Speaker 1: But I think what you can get out of, you know, 765 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,279 Speaker 1: kind of showing that grint, that perseverance, talking to your 766 00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:33,799 Speaker 1: youngster about hey, that's a setback, But how can we 767 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,200 Speaker 1: actually set ourselves up for a little bit of a comeback? 768 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,520 Speaker 2: Now, what do you want to do differently? 769 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,520 Speaker 1: And I think that that's where we got to keep 770 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:43,120 Speaker 1: our young people knowing that keeping sports in their life, 771 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,600 Speaker 1: trying to get coaches to understand that even if you have, 772 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,040 Speaker 1: you know, young people on your team that aren't the superstars, 773 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,720 Speaker 1: that aren't maybe as athletic or as fast or as seasoned, 774 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,960 Speaker 1: yet they still need to have the sport in their 775 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,799 Speaker 1: life for their growth in so many other ways, and 776 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,520 Speaker 1: there's value to what they can bring to the team, right, 777 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:02,840 Speaker 1: And so their attitude, we. 778 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,960 Speaker 2: Got to talk to them about that is it? Is 779 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 2: it positive? 780 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:07,799 Speaker 1: Is it something where you're going to keep up with 781 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,600 Speaker 1: your your level of energy and your work ethic, like 782 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,280 Speaker 1: all of those things mean so much later in life. 783 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:16,440 Speaker 1: But for me, it's it's just moms and dads being 784 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,120 Speaker 1: able to have a really tough conversation. And I had 785 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:21,640 Speaker 1: it with my kids and it's literally like, yeah, boy, 786 00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,759 Speaker 1: that was a bummer that hurt, and acknowledge it, you know, 787 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 1: and don't point the finger and go blame and everybody else. 788 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,879 Speaker 1: You know, what's the coach's fualter it's this player's falter. 789 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,840 Speaker 1: Stat's called no like point the finger inward and say, okay, 790 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,239 Speaker 1: what do we need to do? You want to try again? Yeah, mom, 791 00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 1: I want to try again. All right, let's go. Let's 792 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:39,839 Speaker 1: see how we can get some better workouts in. Let's 793 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: get you some better equipment, Let's put some reps in. Let's, 794 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:45,239 Speaker 1: you know, set some different goals for yourself. Because a 795 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,080 Speaker 1: lot of times, if kids are sitting around, you know, 796 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:50,600 Speaker 1: watching Netflix and expecting to keep making Varsity, when all 797 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,879 Speaker 1: their buddies are out there busting their butts and doing 798 00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,960 Speaker 1: some extra things to get better and improve, you know, 799 00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:56,960 Speaker 1: it's like there's the. 800 00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,960 Speaker 2: Reality of well, what'd you earn? And it's not easy. 801 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 1: It's not but I tell you it's the grind and 802 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,600 Speaker 1: the grid that really help you persevere, and that you 803 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,920 Speaker 1: can look back on any experience, no matter whether you're 804 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,960 Speaker 1: the superstar starter or the last person coming off that 805 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,120 Speaker 1: bench supporting your teammates when your name is called, every 806 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:18,040 Speaker 1: single one of those players and everybody in between can 807 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:22,200 Speaker 1: look back and say, I found value in sticking out 808 00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:24,040 Speaker 1: at sport, or. 809 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:27,800 Speaker 2: Sticking with it or continuing to show up. I found 810 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,000 Speaker 2: value in that. In so many other ways. 811 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:34,400 Speaker 3: Coach, you've done it for nearly three decades, and I 812 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,319 Speaker 3: love for you. For the last couple of minutes here 813 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,319 Speaker 3: kind of let parents and you know, youth athletes know, 814 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,480 Speaker 3: you know, some want to go play at Hopkins. Some 815 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,200 Speaker 3: you know may have wanted to go play for you. 816 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,759 Speaker 3: Like when these kids want to be recruited, they want 817 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:51,080 Speaker 3: to get on the radar. What are things that you 818 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:54,160 Speaker 3: would advise them to do to stand out to get 819 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,399 Speaker 3: on the college coach's radar. And maybe you know, back 820 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,560 Speaker 3: when you were coaching, which was only for God's sakes 821 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,239 Speaker 3: a year or so ago, you know what we're things 822 00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,440 Speaker 3: that you would look forward to want to bring into 823 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,200 Speaker 3: your program, and you would think. 824 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,439 Speaker 4: That we're probably other coaches would do the same. 825 00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,520 Speaker 1: Well, I think that you know, every coach is different, 826 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,840 Speaker 1: so that's such a great question, and they look for 827 00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,799 Speaker 1: different things. But for me, I always looked for a 828 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:18,479 Speaker 1: complete player. So basically that was a young woman who 829 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,400 Speaker 1: was very willing to be coachable. Again, I told you 830 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,360 Speaker 1: those three things that were really important to me, attitude, mindset, 831 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,919 Speaker 1: and work ethic, and I would think about those things 832 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,640 Speaker 1: in the recruiting process as I was watching these athletes 833 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:32,680 Speaker 1: get after it and compete. I wanted great teammates, so 834 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,560 Speaker 1: I would not just watch what these athletes were doing 835 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,040 Speaker 1: on the field with their skill sets, but you watch 836 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,480 Speaker 1: them on the sideline. What kind of a teammate are 837 00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,319 Speaker 1: they if they're losing by ten, are they you know, 838 00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:47,920 Speaker 1: freaking out and being a you know, a negative influence 839 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,600 Speaker 1: on their teammates, or are they encouraging their teammates and 840 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,600 Speaker 1: not giving up and not quitting. I loved players who 841 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,120 Speaker 1: were vocal, who I could hear talking to their goalie 842 00:37:56,160 --> 00:38:00,520 Speaker 1: or talking to their draw specialists and bringing them along. Obviously, 843 00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:05,160 Speaker 1: you know, speed and skill and strength, all those things 844 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,760 Speaker 1: are amazing. You do want you know, bigger, stronger, faster. 845 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,680 Speaker 1: Every coach wants that. But when you can find a 846 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:13,920 Speaker 1: raw athlete, a young woman who. 847 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:16,520 Speaker 2: Is or a young man who is coachable, who. 848 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:20,640 Speaker 1: Has dry, who has that kind of competitive side to them, 849 00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 1: but they also know. 850 00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:23,719 Speaker 2: I always would tell the girls that I. 851 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:27,040 Speaker 1: Was recruiting two people in one body, my on the 852 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,960 Speaker 1: field player and my off the field player. So my 853 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,880 Speaker 1: on the field player, I want to be absolutely like 854 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:38,279 Speaker 1: throwing bows, let's get after it, totally intense, hardcore athlete, 855 00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:40,600 Speaker 1: like I'm going to run you over to get that ball. 856 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,359 Speaker 2: For my team, right, But off the field, I want 857 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:49,400 Speaker 2: a total love, just kind, compassionate, you know, intentional, big smile, 858 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:53,120 Speaker 2: wonderful teammate, all about lifting other people up. So it's 859 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,600 Speaker 2: kind of two people in one body on the. 860 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,880 Speaker 1: Field like total badass and the off the field total 861 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,200 Speaker 1: love who's going to be a in our locker room 862 00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:04,040 Speaker 1: and be a great leader. And I believe you can 863 00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,360 Speaker 1: have that. I think that you can kind of flip 864 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:09,640 Speaker 1: that switch once you step foot on that field or 865 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,160 Speaker 1: in that pool or on that cord and you go 866 00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,120 Speaker 1: to another place and that those competitive juices, boy day 867 00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,960 Speaker 1: kick in. But once you come off that field, you 868 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,759 Speaker 1: know you've got a six year old who's waiting to 869 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,440 Speaker 1: get your autographed and you just lost in triple overtime. 870 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,080 Speaker 1: You are going to flip that switch back to that 871 00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:27,640 Speaker 1: love of a role model and a love of an 872 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,839 Speaker 1: athlete that's going to bend down. Look that six year 873 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,440 Speaker 1: old in the eyes, hold back your tears because you're 874 00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:34,440 Speaker 1: ready to like lose it since you just lost in 875 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:37,359 Speaker 1: triple overtime. But you sign her poster, you give her 876 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 1: a smile, you thank her for coming, and then you 877 00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:40,960 Speaker 1: take yourself to your locker room. 878 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:41,680 Speaker 2: And do what you need to do. 879 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:46,000 Speaker 4: Coach talker, Janina, I freaking love it. I could talk 880 00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:47,000 Speaker 4: to you forever. I can't. 881 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,800 Speaker 3: Where can people? Where can people connect with you? Maybe 882 00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:51,880 Speaker 3: you know find it? You know, just just whatever they 883 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:53,719 Speaker 3: want to reach out to you and talk to you. 884 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:55,279 Speaker 3: Where where can they find you? 885 00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:55,560 Speaker 4: Oh? 886 00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:57,120 Speaker 2: Well, they could always email me. 887 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,000 Speaker 1: I'm Janine Tucker twenty at gmail dot com. 888 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:01,080 Speaker 2: And then I do. 889 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:05,560 Speaker 1: I haven't really kept up with my little Tucker Lacrosse Instagram, 890 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:09,080 Speaker 1: but Janine Tucker one is what I'm doing on Instagram, 891 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,520 Speaker 1: which is fun. But anybody can email me whenever they 892 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,200 Speaker 1: want reach out. 893 00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:14,520 Speaker 2: You know. 894 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,719 Speaker 1: I just I really love interacting and still coaching, and 895 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:21,439 Speaker 1: I'm still traveling across the country and doing little workshops 896 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,839 Speaker 1: for teams, and I love it so And. 897 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,319 Speaker 2: I love cheering from my Blue Jays. That's what's really cool. 898 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,360 Speaker 1: Still being at Hopkins, being able to cheer for my 899 00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:32,279 Speaker 1: squad and coached him and his staff. It's just been 900 00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:33,960 Speaker 1: a wonderful, awesome transition. 901 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:35,000 Speaker 4: Well, I love it. 902 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,080 Speaker 3: You got you got to get on the speaking circuit. 903 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,200 Speaker 3: You're freaking getting me. You get my competitive juice's flow, right, now. 904 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,799 Speaker 3: I cannot thank you enough for your time. 905 00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:45,640 Speaker 2: Coach Sure, Nick, my pleasure. Absolutely, you take care of yourself. 906 00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:50,200 Speaker 3: That's Janine Tucker, former women's lacrosse coach at Johns Hopkins University. 907 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:53,239 Speaker 3: Thanks for listening to the Reform Sports Project podcast. I'm 908 00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,600 Speaker 3: Nick Bonacort and our goal is to restore a healthy 909 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,960 Speaker 3: balance and perspective in all areas of sports through education 910 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,640 Speaker 3: and advocacy. For updates, please follow us on Facebook, Twitter, 911 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,480 Speaker 3: and Instagram, or check out our website by searching for 912 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:06,840 Speaker 3: the Reform Sports Project