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Speaker 1: Good morning, Chip, Good morning. We're back. We were out

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Speaker 1: last week, no power in Nashville.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a wild adventure, as you say it was. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I was, like some people are still dealing with it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I had a friend just get her power.

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Speaker 3: Back yesterday, ten days, eleven days.

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Speaker 1: Eleven days. I lost mine Sunday. No, no, no, no way.

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Speaker 1: Too cold. Yeah, for anyone outside of Nashville, I'm sure

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Speaker 1: most people saw that there was a massive ice storm

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Speaker 1: or winter storm going through multiple states, but it seems

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Speaker 1: like we got hit I think the hardest. And basically

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Speaker 1: what happens. I've never lived through something like this, but

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Speaker 1: it felt like a hurricane but with ice. And I've

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Speaker 1: lived through many herhurricanes being from Louisiana obviously, but this

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Speaker 1: was a wild experience. Basically what happens is like we

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Speaker 1: had so much ice and sleep and it weighs down

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Speaker 1: the trees and then they literally just start exploding. Like

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Speaker 1: I thought that was a joke, but I witnessed it.

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Speaker 1: I watched it happen. So there's like branches dropping, some

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Speaker 1: trees are just being completely uprooted, falling on houses. Very

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Speaker 1: similar to what you experience like in the aftermath of

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Speaker 1: a hurricane what it looks like. But then the power

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Speaker 1: went out. And I don't know if you've ever lived

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Speaker 1: through a hurricane ship, but when I've ever lived through hurricanes,

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Speaker 1: it's summer, it's hot. Like that's the thing you're dealing

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Speaker 1: with is being too hot, being too overheated, and having

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Speaker 1: to deal with that. This was the opposite. It was

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Speaker 1: like dropping down to eight degrees and so you're living

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Speaker 1: in this house with no heat and it's freezing. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: a lot most of us were displaced. It's like that thing.

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Speaker 1: It's like not Catch twenty two. But you know, the

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Speaker 1: both and situation where I was like, on one hand,

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Speaker 1: you want to have so much gratitude, Like I had

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Speaker 1: one friend who didn't lose power. I went and stayed

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Speaker 1: with her. The fact that I had a place to go,

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Speaker 1: that I could get there, that I had a place

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Speaker 1: with a heat and a bed and power, you know,

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Speaker 1: like those kind of things you don't want to complain

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Speaker 1: because not everyone had that access or the means to

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Speaker 1: get to a hotel or anything like that. And so

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Speaker 1: a lot of people were staying in their freezing cold houses.

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Speaker 1: And when I stay cold, it's like twenty degrees inside

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Speaker 1: your house, so imagining.

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Speaker 3: I mean it got real cold. Yeah, I stayed in mind.

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Speaker 2: I so the storm hit Saturday night, woke up Sunday

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Speaker 2: morning with no electricity.

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Speaker 3: It'd probably gone on like four o'clock in the morning.

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Speaker 1: Mine did, Mamas, And it was.

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Speaker 2: Just shocking to see, Like I have a big tree

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Speaker 2: in my backyard that was like in half. It had

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Speaker 2: fallen on my fence, broken, that hit my neighbor's roof, Like.

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Speaker 3: It's a mess.

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Speaker 2: Like I saw a photo this morning on Instagram that

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Speaker 2: was like, I can't believe this wasn't a tornado, and

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Speaker 2: it was just a photo one street. Yeah, And it's

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Speaker 2: just like trees broken everywhere, I mean trees.

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Speaker 3: You could it sounded like there was.

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Speaker 2: A war going on outside because the sound of a

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Speaker 2: falling tree with all the ice on it breaking, but

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Speaker 2: also trees were exploding, like the sap gets so frozen

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Speaker 2: and expands that the tree would just go boom and explode.

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Speaker 2: And it's all over town. It's wild like no one

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Speaker 2: was no one was exempt from it. And in fact,

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Speaker 2: some of the like wealthier parts of town are hit

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Speaker 2: the worst and don't have power yet because they have

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Speaker 2: all these big, old, mature trees, and there are some

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Speaker 2: hills here, which tends to be those neighborhoods. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: so I was worried. I have two big dogs, so

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Speaker 2: just to move them somewhere, I have to pack up

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Speaker 2: so much shit, like being in a hotel room with

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Speaker 2: them and having to go out in twenty degree weather

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Speaker 2: to walk them. When I have a backyard that has

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Speaker 2: a broken fence, but it's enough to keep them in.

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Speaker 2: They're scared of what's going on over there. So I

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Speaker 2: stayed and I called home depot and they were open,

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Speaker 2: so I went with the hope that they had a generator,

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Speaker 2: and I was able to buy a generator, which did

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Speaker 2: not like it was not enough to like power my house,

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Speaker 2: but it was enough to keep my refrigerator on when

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Speaker 2: I needed to switch it over to my airfire so

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Speaker 2: I could cook something. I was able to do that

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Speaker 2: I had a space heater that was like right on me,

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Speaker 2: and then in my at night, I could close my

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Speaker 2: bedroom door with one space heater and it would warm

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Speaker 2: up till like seventy Like yeah, so it was livable,

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Speaker 2: but it is not something that I would have wanted

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Speaker 2: to do for ten or eleven days. Like it was

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Speaker 2: fun for a minute, it felt like I was urban camping.

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Speaker 1: Oh see, I would have never thought it was fun

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Speaker 1: for even a minute.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you get cold a lot easier than

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Speaker 2: I do. But like I mean, and I was able

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Speaker 2: to I could get really creative, Like when I wasn't

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Speaker 2: cooking and it was so cold in the house that

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Speaker 2: like I didn't have to.

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Speaker 3: Have a refrigerator on twenty four seven, like it.

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Speaker 2: Was not warming up, so I could move it over

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Speaker 2: to my television and watch TV by candlelight. And so

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Speaker 2: it was there was something a little romantic about it,

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Speaker 2: because there was I had to tap into my resilience,

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Speaker 2: like if I had let it really get to me

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Speaker 2: or starting think that like I'm like this victim having

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Speaker 2: a victim mentality when there are literal people, Like was

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Speaker 2: it you that told me that you saw someone.

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Speaker 3: Crawl out of a car at a yeah dealership.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So to what you're saying is like, that's what

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Speaker 1: I was saying about the both, and it's like you

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Speaker 1: feel very grateful and you're like okay, And like you

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Speaker 1: mentioned the more wealthy areas of Nashville, Like at first,

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, most of those houses have generators,

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Speaker 1: so I don't really want to hear them complaining because

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Speaker 1: I'm literally driving, which driving was dicey too, but I

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Speaker 1: had to. I had a job in New York, and

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Speaker 1: so I had to get to the airport one day,

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Speaker 1: and I see this guy, like, you know, like they

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Speaker 1: have cars up on a ramp at car dealerships, like

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Speaker 1: it's like the focus car. I saw this guy climbing

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Speaker 1: out of it, like getting dressed, like he had been

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Speaker 1: sleeping there all night. And I was thinking to myself, like,

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Speaker 1: this is where we are as a city right now,

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Speaker 1: is people are so desperate and that just, you know,

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Speaker 1: that made me feel so sad and also grateful and like,

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Speaker 1: like you said, stop complaining, because like I had access

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Speaker 1: to certain things, but being displaced from your house like

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Speaker 1: especially I had, I was traveling and I had a

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Speaker 1: fitting in New York, and so like packing all the

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Speaker 1: stuff in my freezing cold house, like it was way

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Speaker 1: more draining than I could explain to people, moving fifty

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Speaker 1: pound bags in ice, like trying not to bust my

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Speaker 1: ass was difficult, Like yeah, physically exhausted, emotionally exhausted. You know,

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Speaker 1: my parents were staying with me for a while because

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Speaker 1: their power came on after and so you're just like

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Speaker 1: everyone's just trying to help each other out and get by,

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Speaker 1: but everybody was equally as drained as like kind of

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Speaker 1: discombobulated would be the word.

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Speaker 3: Like.

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Speaker 1: I just felt like everybody looked almost like what I

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Speaker 1: remember people looking like when COVID was happening, and we're

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Speaker 1: just like it was just a lot. So anyway, we're

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Speaker 1: still rebuilding in Nashville, like getting back up and running.

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Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people totally are still

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Speaker 1: like getting their power back or whatever, a totally displaced.

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Speaker 1: So again feeling very grateful for heat, for power, for

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Speaker 1: being you know, under a roof of some sort. But

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Speaker 1: we're just like out of it.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it is I will tell you this, like,

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Speaker 2: and you know this is not it's not unique to us.

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Speaker 2: Maybe this particular situation is. But like hard times are not.

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Speaker 2: They fall upon everyone, you know, and.

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Speaker 1: Now it just feels like the world is on everything's burning.

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Speaker 2: But you know, it really puts things into perspective, like

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Speaker 2: being able to take a warm shower. There are so

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Speaker 2: many people that cannot take warm showers every day, and

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Speaker 2: I would have to go two days without a shower.

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Speaker 2: It was funny because on Sunday it was like getting

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Speaker 2: into the evening and I was like, oh shit, I

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Speaker 2: didn't take a shower yesterday. I need to take a shower.

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Speaker 2: And it's like forty degrees in my house. But my

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Speaker 2: hot water heater still had hot water in it, so yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was. I mean, I guess it's just that well insulated.

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Speaker 2: Even four days in, I could get hot water to

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Speaker 2: come to my sink. But I just didn't think that

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Speaker 2: there was enough at that point to like risk taking

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Speaker 2: a shower. And even when I did it on Sunday,

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Speaker 2: I like got in, got it warm, sprayed myself off,

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Speaker 2: turned the water off, lathered up really quick because it

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Speaker 2: was fucking cold, and then rinsed off and was just

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Speaker 2: happy with that.

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Speaker 3: But I am it's it is.

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Speaker 2: I hate that it takes something like this to feel grateful,

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Speaker 2: but I also appreciate that, like life can throw us

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Speaker 2: these things that we that you know, thank God most

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Speaker 2: of us survive. There have been deaths, and I feel

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Speaker 2: for those people because it's kind of a shame. This

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Speaker 2: should have been somewhat avoidable or cleaned up a lot faster.

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Speaker 2: But we don't need to get into that. But I

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Speaker 2: hate that it takes those sorts of things to make

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Speaker 2: me feel grateful. So one of the things that like

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Speaker 2: I'm going to try and take from this is to

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Speaker 2: practice practice being grateful more often were the little things,

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Speaker 2: you know, like being able to get out of bed

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Speaker 2: every day, Like what is it that you think.

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Speaker 1: A roof over? My dad says, the sun came up.

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Speaker 3: The sun came up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it does it truly that simple? And yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean I can look at back at my backyard,

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Speaker 2: which by the way, I haven't touched because I was

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Speaker 2: worried that if I cleaned it up then insurance wouldn't

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Speaker 2: help me in any way. But I spoke to my

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Speaker 2: guy and he said, just take really good pictures.

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Speaker 3: Blah blah.

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Speaker 2: But like, I look at my backyard and as much

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Speaker 2: as I'm like, I see what kind of task it is,

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Speaker 2: and I'm gonna have to deal with insurance and it's

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Speaker 2: annoying and blah blah blah. Like one of those things

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Speaker 2: could have come through my bedroom ceiling, you know. And

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Speaker 2: we have a friend that has six holes.

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Speaker 3: In her roof.

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Speaker 1: Well, and that's I don't even know if I finished

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Speaker 1: my sentence, Like the wealthier areas or whatever at first,

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Speaker 1: I was thinking, like, I'm worried about the people who

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Speaker 1: don't have a roof over the head. They don't have

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Speaker 1: a place to go when their power's out, like we

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Speaker 1: do whatever. But now, like, because like you said, there's

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Speaker 1: so many trees and stuff, so much destruction happened in

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Speaker 1: those areas, and that's no matter if you how much

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Speaker 1: money you have, it's just not easy to deal with it.

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Speaker 1: It's you know, displacing, it's it's hard, it's just whatever.

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Speaker 1: But also now there's like looters in these areas. That

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Speaker 1: is pissing me off. I'm just like the people that

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Speaker 1: take advantage of people during tragedy and like use it

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Speaker 1: to their advantage. That is some dark energy shit and

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Speaker 1: like the karma is gonna be bad. So I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I just am like, I that is just very We've

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Speaker 1: all gone through so much in the last week here

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Speaker 1: in Nashville, and I cannot imagine trying to take advantage

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Speaker 1: of someone else's like despair or hard times by doing

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Speaker 1: something like that. So that made me really sad to hear.

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Speaker 1: And I hope that gets alleviated soon or as the

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Speaker 1: power comes back on, you know, just it's picked up

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Speaker 1: that is.

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Speaker 2: So well, and it's you know, the people being targeted

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Speaker 2: are you know, obviously wealthier, and that doesn't make it right,

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Speaker 2: but I think it's like speaks to the sort of

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Speaker 2: you know, back to our world burning. There's so many

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Speaker 2: people who feel like they don't have opportunity in the

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Speaker 2: world right now that they see this opportunity. It's hard

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Speaker 2: for me to like, of course, like I hate it,

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Speaker 2: but it's also hard for me to be really mad

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Speaker 2: when they're like, fuck, we're out here dying and these

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Speaker 2: people are in their vacation homes. I mean, it doesn't

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Speaker 2: make it right, but like, you know, there is there's

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Speaker 2: no security systems right now, there's no cameras running, there's

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Speaker 2: none of these things, and these people are you know,

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Speaker 2: and I'm also making assumptions about the people that are

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Speaker 2: doing They could be perfectly fine. They could be their persons,

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Speaker 2: they could be their neighbor. That's like, I'm all good,

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Speaker 2: get that diamond necklace or whatever that I saw her

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Speaker 2: wearing a dinner last night. But you know, like I

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Speaker 2: hope that if anyone is resorting to that kind of activity,

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Speaker 2: it's because they really fucking.

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Speaker 3: Need it, you know.

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Speaker 1: I do just how people don't do it.

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Speaker 3: It's just sort of like I hope not to.

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Speaker 1: I hope we can all try to figure out ways

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Speaker 1: to help each other out without going that route, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I think it is easy to look at people

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Speaker 1: who are financially stable and be like, oh, well, who cares.

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Speaker 1: They don't The hard times for them are not hard.

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Speaker 1: They are though, like everyone's just people, And it is

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Speaker 1: sure having money does make things easier to operate. And

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Speaker 1: I have seen that, you know whatever, we are in

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Speaker 1: a position to where a lot of people aren't either,

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Speaker 1: and so I always try to keep all of that

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Speaker 1: in mind. I also have learned over the years that

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Speaker 1: it doesn't erase pain to have money, and it doesn't

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Speaker 1: erase like hardship, you know, it's just a different, different

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Speaker 1: beast you're dealing with. So I really just hope we

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Speaker 1: can all try to support each other and not take

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Speaker 1: advantage of each other during this time, and for anyone

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Speaker 1: outside of Nashville, just that's what's been going on here.

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Speaker 1: That's why we weren't here last week. We didn't have

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Speaker 1: power to record, and it was the weirdest, Like you start,

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Speaker 1: you don't realize like all the things you can't do

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Speaker 1: you know when your power is down. So we are back.

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Speaker 1: But the interesting thing is this actually kind of plays

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Speaker 1: into the topic the stuff we're talking about because it's

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Speaker 1: Aquarius season and Marv and I really dove into what

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Speaker 1: February is going to look like astrologically on Wednesday. But

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Speaker 1: Chip and I were going to kind of really focus

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Speaker 1: in on the Aquarius piece of it because some of

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Speaker 1: the astrology for February is heavy, and I really need

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Speaker 1: to focus on maybe not being heavy right now. Like

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Speaker 1: it's just my poor boyfriend is like can we find

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Speaker 1: some light because you know, I'll go deep into the dark.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, Aquarius energy is something like speaking of my boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: like he's an Aquarius, my brother is an Aquarius rising.

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Speaker 1: I have actually a lot of Aquarius energy around me

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Speaker 1: and I've really drawn to it for a lot. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot of positive things about Aquarius to me. It's

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Speaker 1: like a very visionary type energy. It's looking forward into

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Speaker 1: the future. It's looking at what we're dealing with and going, hey,

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Speaker 1: this system could be better. And we had Pluto move

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Speaker 1: into Aquarius last year, and so I think if you

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Speaker 1: are thinking about what's happening in our society, you could

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Speaker 1: pretty easily pinpoint the structures, the systems, the things that

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Speaker 1: were as a society looking at and going, wait a second,

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Speaker 1: this is like the wool is being pulled off our eyes,

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Speaker 1: the curtain is being pulled back. We're seeing the Wizard

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Speaker 1: of Oz like, we're seeing all the things that aren't

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Speaker 1: what we thought they were. And then Aquarius is coming

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Speaker 1: in and going, this is why that's not working, and

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Speaker 1: here's a better plan. And we haven't fully gotten to

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Speaker 1: the better plan yet, but I think we're in the

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Speaker 1: destruction phase and we have been for a couple years.

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Speaker 1: But Aquarius also really cares about like humanity and things

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Speaker 1: being good for the collective, like as a whole, and

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Speaker 1: so I think some of that is starting to look

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Speaker 1: you know, we're seeing that too on a bigger scale

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Speaker 1: of where we're going this wasn't working, and wait, who

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Speaker 1: is this actually benefiting? And how many people has this been?

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Speaker 1: Is this like something universally good or is this just

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Speaker 1: good for the one percent? You know, we've talked about

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Speaker 1: that a little bit, and that's all Aquarius like that

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Speaker 1: is going to keep being what comes up or like

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Speaker 1: what the process is.

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Speaker 2: It's funny, I'm just even thinking about what we were

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Speaker 2: just talking about with the storm, like well, it's.

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Speaker 1: Like an NAS and it's like system sucked.

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Speaker 3: Their system sucked.

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Speaker 2: And it was really it was really interesting to sit

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Speaker 2: back and watch people just bitch about it, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: do better.

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Speaker 3: Blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: And you know, obviously sometimes it takes something extreme to

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Speaker 2: like even expose the.

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Speaker 3: Holes in the system.

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Speaker 2: Great, yeah, and you know they like I can look

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Speaker 2: back and be like, look, no, no one could. I

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Speaker 2: didn't predict predict that it would be this bad. Like

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Speaker 2: I went out and bought a sled the night before,

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Speaker 2: you know, like I was ready to go sledden and

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Speaker 2: I didn't think I'd wake up to this tragedy. And

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Speaker 2: so you know, it's hard to believe that even any

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Speaker 2: s would have known that.

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Speaker 1: But like, look, I have to say something about that.

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Speaker 2: Look I'm not I'm not trying to give them any

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Speaker 2: fucking any fucking uh like leadway, because they should have

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Speaker 2: been better prepared.

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Speaker 1: Like I was in Florida the week before on a job,

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Speaker 1: but it did seem like the energy in Nashville was

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Speaker 1: like way too casual. Because I was watching the national

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Speaker 1: news and I was texting my agent like hey, I

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Speaker 1: don't think we're gonna be able to do that fitting

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Speaker 1: on Monday. We need to come up with a plan

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Speaker 1: B and a Plan C. Turns out we ended up

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Speaker 1: having to do my Plan C. But when I was

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Speaker 1: Stephen saying that, she was saying, oh, our office is

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Speaker 1: open on Monday. Like how you said you bought a sled.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, where were y'all? I saw like the news

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Speaker 1: was talking about this as being as bad, And so

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Speaker 1: when Ess is saying we just couldn't have predicted, it's like,

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Speaker 1: but they were predicting it.

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Speaker 3: Maybe you could watch the news.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so I.

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Speaker 2: But like the things like we didn't start getting alerts

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Speaker 2: about where shelters were until we were two days in. Like

349
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Speaker 2: those sorts of things are the failures in the system

350
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Speaker 2: that we can look back and be like, Okay, the

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Speaker 2: next time we have a nice storm barreling towards our city,

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Speaker 2: what are the things that we can do better?

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Speaker 3: Well.

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Speaker 1: Also, their whole system is apparently so complex that like

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Speaker 1: line workers were offering to come in from other places,

356
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Speaker 1: but they would have to go through some training process

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Speaker 1: to make it safe. And here's what I will say,

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Speaker 1: Like being a line worker is a very dangerous job,

359
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Speaker 1: and I respect the hell out of it the line workers.

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Speaker 1: I still will be like, oh my god, you guys

361
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Speaker 1: fucking saved us here last week. Yeah, and Indius does

362
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,879
Speaker 1: not need to have a system that's so common so

363
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Speaker 1: old people. Yeah, can't come in from other places and help,

364
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Speaker 1: because we only had two hundred line workers available the

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Speaker 1: night of the massive storm. And it's like, then we

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Speaker 1: lost three hundred and sixty something thousand people lost power

367
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Speaker 1: in Nashville and surrounding areas Like that is a lot

368
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Speaker 1: of homes. That's insane, and so it's like two hundred

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Speaker 1: line workers aren't going to be able to do that.

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Speaker 3: It's not going to cut it.

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Speaker 2: Especially you know, it became even more dangerous because there

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Speaker 2: were so many trees down. It's not just like, oh

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Speaker 2: a car hit a telephone pole, we gotta we gotta

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Speaker 2: fix that. It was like we needed tree workers, we

375
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Speaker 2: needed all of this stuff to get stuff cleared. But

376
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Speaker 2: you know it's funny, like I also then got to

377
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Speaker 2: witness the humanity of people.

378
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Speaker 1: And well, you started a new business.

379
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I went and bought a chainsaw and I haven't

380
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Speaker 2: made a penny from it. I did make a joke

381
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,399
Speaker 2: about it and made a came up with a company

382
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,119
Speaker 2: name and a logo.

383
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Speaker 1: But if I.

384
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Speaker 2: Went and bought a chainsaw, and I haven't made a

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Speaker 2: penny from it. I did make a joke about it

386
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,199
Speaker 2: and made a came up with a company name and

387
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:57,280
Speaker 2: a logo, but yeah, it's called Gaze with Chainsaws.

388
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Speaker 3: No wood's too hard for us, and I love AI.

389
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Speaker 2: But what we ended up doing was we just and

390
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 2: by the way, I was the only gay in and

391
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,880
Speaker 2: I was telling all my straight friends that were helping

392
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Speaker 2: me that they were just gave her pay And we

393
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,879
Speaker 2: just went around and we a would check to make

394
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,439
Speaker 2: sure there was no down power lines or nothing was

395
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 2: touching any power line around us, and if there was

396
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,359
Speaker 2: a tree in the road, we would cut it up,

397
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,000
Speaker 2: move it to the side, and move on. Yeah, just

398
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,679
Speaker 2: to like help get the community moving again.

399
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:29,719
Speaker 3: And that felt really good.

400
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,399
Speaker 2: I bet it just feels good to do those things,

401
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 2: like no one was asking us to do it until

402
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,399
Speaker 2: some woman on my street complained that we were putting

403
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 2: the tree in her yard and not in the business

404
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 2: yard next door. But it was her tree that had

405
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 2: already fallen in her yard that we were just cutting

406
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 2: up to make it easier for her to move, and

407
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,359
Speaker 2: she came out and bitched at us, and we were like,

408
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 2: how about.

409
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Speaker 3: Thank you, lady.

410
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 1: It was always going to be the one.

411
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,119
Speaker 3: There's always the one.

412
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Speaker 1: But even when you're talking about how you're like how

413
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 1: that felt good because you're doing something for humanity, for

414
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 1: the black you're helping. That's aquarius, Like you were living

415
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,640
Speaker 1: it out without even knowing, you know, and I think

416
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 1: the helping the neighbor or whatever. Like my boyfriend's in

417
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 1: town right now and my neighbor had really bad trees

418
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 1: go down and stuff, and he was like, well, you know,

419
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,119
Speaker 1: she's in her late seventies, early eighties, I think, And

420
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 1: he's like, well, text her, let me see if I

421
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 1: can go over and help her, same as what you

422
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,720
Speaker 1: were doing. And she was so just like she's doing

423
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,199
Speaker 1: the same thing with you with the insurance. She's not

424
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,919
Speaker 1: ready to do that yet, but she was just like,

425
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,399
Speaker 1: oh my god, that is so kind of him to offer,

426
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 1: and like it made me just realize, like he did

427
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,359
Speaker 1: do the right thing by offering that. And so often,

428
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 1: like it's easy for us to get so wrapped up

429
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: in our own shit and not think about anyone else,

430
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,720
Speaker 1: you know, like we're very self focused and you kind

431
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,159
Speaker 1: of have to be in our world sometimes, but sometimes

432
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:50,160
Speaker 1: these moments, these tragedies, these whatever, they do bring out

433
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:54,000
Speaker 1: the humanity in people as well, and to work together

434
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:57,159
Speaker 1: as a collective or like you know, come together as

435
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,680
Speaker 1: a community even so there can be beauty and the pain.

436
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 1: And I think looking at those lessons at this point,

437
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 1: especially as we sit in our heat and have our

438
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:08,800
Speaker 1: power and can talk to each other, that is a

439
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 1: beneficial thing to do. Like you were saying, find the gratitude,

440
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 1: like focus on Okay, well maybe in the future, like

441
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,159
Speaker 1: I want to offer this earlier or whatever it is,

442
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,280
Speaker 1: like you've got a chainsaw, now you've got a sharia

443
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,400
Speaker 1: or now like you're ready to go. You've got some ideas.

444
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 1: So anyway, we were going to kind of there's a

445
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 1: couple of themes that really were coming up during my

446
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 1: conversation with Marv, and then I thought, oh, these really

447
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 1: do translate into my life and they're very in line

448
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,639
Speaker 1: with this Aquarius stuff. So I wanted to ask you

449
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 1: a couple questions and maybe get the listeners just kind

450
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 1: of peak y'all's brains too. Of obviously we've talked about

451
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,679
Speaker 1: things on a bigger scale, but in your own life, like,

452
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 1: are there systems and structures that are coming up right now?

453
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 1: Because I bet they are if you really think about

454
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 1: it up for review and that you're thinking, like, I

455
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,159
Speaker 1: can't do it this way anymore. It's just not working.

456
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 1: Like I know that is happening massively for me with

457
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 1: my work life busier than I've ever been, so grateful,

458
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,960
Speaker 1: and I got to find some ways to get some help.

459
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: I'm drowning, you know. It's like I don't want to

460
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 1: burn out like I have in the past, and so

461
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 1: really evaluating certain structures. So I sent this to youtip

462
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,159
Speaker 1: and I said, what are the things that you feel

463
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 1: like you can't do it?

464
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 2: Like?

465
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:22,400
Speaker 1: Are you having those moments where you say, I can't

466
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 1: do it this way anymore? What's like one small, even

467
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 1: mundane thing that you're just done tolerating? Do you have anything?

468
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,360
Speaker 2: I mean, one of the things that I've really been

469
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,399
Speaker 2: thinking about this year is changing up the way that

470
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:39,359
Speaker 2: I work. Because COVID pushed us all back into our house.

471
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 2: I got really comfortable working from home, which I'd never

472
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 2: done before because I always have needed that structure of Yeah,

473
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,119
Speaker 2: but now the kind of work that I do is

474
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 2: like I am somewhat my own company, and I can

475
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 2: do it from anywhere. But like as many benefits as

476
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,639
Speaker 2: there are to working from home, there's so many benefits

477
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 2: to going in an office and being part of the

478
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 2: community that you're working in. And I think I've reached

479
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 2: a point where, like I need to start making work

480
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 2: feel like work so I can separate work from life

481
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 2: because I'm just like you, like I've never been busier.

482
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 2: I'm really investing in myself right now in terms of work,

483
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:23,680
Speaker 2: so there's a lot more at stake. But I'm also

484
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 2: like finding that I'll work until ten thirty at night

485
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 2: because I've created a space that is my work and

486
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:33,680
Speaker 2: my life all in wait, and so that this system.

487
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 2: Although I could do this for the rest of my

488
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:39,120
Speaker 2: life this way and it would probably be fine in work,

489
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 2: but like it doesn't feel like it's working for me

490
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:46,160
Speaker 2: right now, so I am I'm trying to figure out

491
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 2: I also too, Like I look back and in the

492
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 2: last year and a half, I've had a puppy and

493
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 2: he's almost two years old now and he's starting to

494
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 2: really calm down. But I just didn't feel good about

495
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 2: bringing him to work or leaving him here all day,

496
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 2: and dog care is expensive, so if I was ever

497
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,120
Speaker 2: every day leaving work and paying someone to watch him,

498
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 2: it just would add up.

499
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 3: So I settled on staying at home.

500
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,920
Speaker 2: And now that he's older and calming down, and he's

501
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 2: by no means calm, but the more I take him

502
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 2: to the office, the more the novelty of going to

503
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 2: the office wears off on him.

504
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 3: So he'll start calming down going there because I.

505
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 2: Would take him in and we'd be this insane puppy

506
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 2: that everyone wanted to play with, and that makes it

507
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 2: really hard to work. And now that novelty is starting

508
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,199
Speaker 2: to wear off. So that's the major thing for me

509
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 2: that I'm just I want to change how my days

510
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 2: look and separate, try to separate work from life as

511
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 2: much as I can.

512
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 1: Well, you said I could do this for the rest

513
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:37,919
Speaker 1: of my life, But if you really think about it,

514
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 1: if you're working every night till ten thirty at your house,

515
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 1: like when are you going to go on a date?

516
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,679
Speaker 1: When are you like there? It really isn't sustainable for

517
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,639
Speaker 1: future unless you want all your life to be about

518
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 1: work all the time. Like that is just and I

519
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 1: don't think you do. I don't want it, lady.

520
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 2: I mean because in the fun parts of my job

521
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 2: bleed into my life, like yeah, the travel, the shows,

522
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 2: those things which I love, it does affect my life.

523
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:05,679
Speaker 3: In pretty grand ways.

524
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 2: So I need to figure out how to make the

525
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 2: work day the work day and just takes more take

526
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:13,120
Speaker 2: my life back.

527
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean I have a similar one with that,

528
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 1: where it's just I said to you before we started recording,

529
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,960
Speaker 1: I was talking to my boyfriend about it last night,

530
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 1: just asking him for a little bit of extra support

531
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 1: right now, because I'm in such a transition phase, like

532
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,920
Speaker 1: knowing I need help, but not quite to the place

533
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: where I'm capable of getting it yet, if that makes sense,

534
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 1: Like there's a couple things I need to get sorted first,

535
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 1: and so, but it's like you also have to keep

536
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 1: working or you know, I need to pay my bills obviously,

537
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 1: so like you need the financial aspect of it, and

538
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,199
Speaker 1: so you're just running around like a chicken with your

539
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 1: head cut off feeling, and so when things like last

540
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:54,120
Speaker 1: week happen, it can just become like almost like daunting

541
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: to face certain things. And so moving into the spring

542
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 1: and summer, like my goal is to get more help

543
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: to ask for things that I need to have a

544
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 1: better structure, same thing. But that's actually not what I

545
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 1: wrote down. It was just when you were talking about

546
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,600
Speaker 1: this that I thought that one of the big themes

547
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: in this, if we're talking about astrology, is has been

548
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 1: I've had a lot transitioning my eleventh house and it's

549
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 1: also where I have my moon signed. So that's my

550
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 1: emotional core for anybody that's like super into astrology. So

551
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 1: Pisces is where I was, which is also yourship, but

552
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:29,400
Speaker 1: it's not a different house anyway. All of that has

553
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 1: to do, yes, that has to do with friendships, groups,

554
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 1: social media, things like that, and so and this is

555
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 1: like obviously my friends are the same as they've always been.

556
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 1: Like I love my friends so much. I will say,

557
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 1: I do feel like I've gotten really to the place

558
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 1: where I can only spend time with people who I

559
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: have like really connected reciprocal relationships with like I do.

560
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: I cannot do small talk anymore. I don't have the

561
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: energy for it people who I I don't know very well.

562
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 1: I don't have the space to be like let's go

563
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,720
Speaker 1: grab a drink or let's go get dinner, you know,

564
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 1: like there's seasons where you do that kind of stuff

565
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 1: a lot, Like I've just not been in one, Like

566
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 1: I'm being very particular about only wanting to pour into

567
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 1: like my true connections or whatever. But with that, I've

568
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: noticed like one of the main things for me in

569
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,920
Speaker 1: the past, like relationship wise, was like I just doubted

570
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 1: myself so much, and so with a thing when I

571
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 1: read like I can't do it this way anymore, what

572
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 1: is it? The thing I think I've really released in

573
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: the last little bit of time is like I'm not

574
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 1: gonna like make anyone else the authority of my life

575
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 1: ever again, or like I'm not going to allow myself

576
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: to be gas lit into second guessing myself all this time,

577
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 1: Like if I'm confused, there's a problem with the relationship

578
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: because I'm a smart girl, so there's not you know,

579
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: like it's not me, it's you. It's how I feel now,

580
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: like and I never would have said that in the past,

581
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,920
Speaker 1: but like I'm just really done like trying to over

582
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: explain myself to people who are determined to like misunderstand

583
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:08,199
Speaker 1: me or doubt my intuition or like when I know

584
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: things like and I can't really explain it, like I'm

585
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: not going to over explain it to people. I'm just

586
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 1: going to let it play out. Like yeah, So those

587
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 1: kind of things and themes like within my relationships and

588
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 1: just like and that kind of can play into my

589
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: work world too, like just the way that I move

590
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: with people really just like trusting my own intuition and

591
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:31,200
Speaker 1: my own knowing, not letting myself be manipulated or gas lit,

592
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 1: and applying that into all areas of my life. And

593
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 1: so that was the main like that's the one I'm

594
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 1: done with. And yeah, that's a little bit different than

595
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 1: the work thing obviously, but it can play into it.

596
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: A lot of those relationships are like that.

597
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 2: So well, we also work in a business. Like even

598
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 2: when you're saying like where you're going to put your energy,

599
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 2: we too. We work in a business where they're like

600
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 2: we believe we think of people as friends, but they're

601
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 2: just people we know, you know. So it's like really

602
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 2: easy to run into someone that you actually really like.

603
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 2: When you see that, you're like, oh my god, let's

604
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 2: get drinks, and then you walk away being like when

605
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 2: the fuck am I gonna.

606
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 1: Get I don't have time for that.

607
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 2: But it's like one of those things that just comes out,

608
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 2: and I think being more cognizant of that is will.

609
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 3: Protect your energy. Yeah, yeah, that's I think it's a

610
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 3: really good note.

611
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 2: Like I've also noticed that the busier I've gotten over

612
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,719
Speaker 2: the last few months, that like the less time I

613
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 2: have to worry about how people are going to react

614
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 2: to the truth that I say, you know, like sometimes

615
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 2: you just have to be honest and be like that's

616
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 2: not going to work, you know, like because otherwise you're

617
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 2: wasting your time too and your energy, Like you should

618
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 2: not be putting good energy after bad energy. You should

619
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 2: just focus on what is good and actually worthwhile.

620
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 1: So the other one I brought up to you was like,

621
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 1: so ur honest is moving out of Taurus, which that's

622
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 1: going to be a huge really for me. I can't wait.

623
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: I'm thrilled as a tourist rising. But Jurana's energy is

624
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: very much like it's gonna shake things up. It's completely

625
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: I think for me, I've looked at this transit over

626
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 1: the last seven years. I think it was since twenty eighteen,

627
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 1: and that was literally when my entire life just started

628
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 1: getting uprooted. So the things that I thought were so

629
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 1: important or that I had truly like put my identity onto,

630
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 1: like I based my identity on they all got uprooted

631
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 1: and changed and whatever, and it's terribly painful at the time,

632
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:32,959
Speaker 1: but you can look back and like I can look

633
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 1: at myself now and be like, oh, I probably became

634
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 1: more of who I truly am during this period of

635
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 1: time than any other period of time, you know, and

636
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 1: just really kind of embracing like what these pivots have

637
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 1: brought up or whatever. But the thing that the question

638
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: that came up with that was like, you know, when

639
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 1: you're in it, like I said, it's really difficult. So

640
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: like you can have some temporary moods and like what

641
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: is as this shift is happening where Uranus is moving

642
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 1: out of Taurus, we're kind of probably getting the last push.

643
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 1: Do you have a temporary mood that you know is temporary?

644
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: And then do you have a real pivot that's probably

645
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:16,239
Speaker 1: happening in your life and you know, maybe that's a

646
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 1: good thing, maybe it's scary, Like what what are the

647
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 1: senses of that? Like what is your temporary mood? And

648
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: then what is the thing that you're like, Okay, this

649
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:27,479
Speaker 1: is happening and I'm going to lean in even if

650
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: I'm scared.

651
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can probably answer the second one easier, So

652
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 2: I'm gonna start. I'm gonna start with the first one.

653
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 1: Okay.

654
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 3: My temporary mood.

655
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 2: I think it is born out of the bigger picture, Okay,

656
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 2: because I go through these phases where I believe that

657
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 2: I'm the smartest, most creative person in the world, and

658
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 2: phases where I think I am like incapable of accomplishing anything.

659
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 2: You know, it's like, yes, we all. I think it's

660
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 2: the yin and yang of life, right, And whenever I'm

661
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 2: faced with, especially a professional challenge, because I love and

662
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 2: care about what I do so much, and everything that

663
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 2: I do affect someone else's career. You know, it's not

664
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 2: like I'm not the mailman and you're not going to

665
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 2: get your mail a day late. If I'm lazy, like

666
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 2: I could literally cause you to not get a tour.

667
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 2: If I'm like I'm going to watch TV today. Yeah,

668
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 2: And so when work gets real for me, it gets

669
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 2: it can get really scary because I do want to

670
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 2: achieve great things in this space. So I'm in that

671
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 2: temporary space where like the devil on my shoulder is

672
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 2: telling me that I'm not going to be able to

673
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 2: do it, but my gut is telling me that this

674
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 2: is possibly one of the most exciting times in my

675
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 2: career where the idea of a challenge, like I need

676
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 2: to remind myself that what I'm feeling is excitement and

677
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,719
Speaker 2: not fear, but they feel like the same thing. So

678
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 2: I'm in this temporary space where I'm like, I'm never

679
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 2: going to be able to win.

680
00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 3: I'm not cut out for this.

681
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 2: Those are the things that like, my my brain is

682
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 2: to tell me, and it's it's a defense mechanism, sure,

683
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 2: because it's a self fulfilling prophecy if I fail, so

684
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 2: and I'm not going to let myself do that.

685
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 3: Like, So, the.

686
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 2: Bigger picture to me is I have these new challenges

687
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 2: laid out in front of me that are really fucking scary,

688
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 2: But I know that the what I'm really feeling is excitement,

689
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 2: And I think part of the fear comes from like

690
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 2: admitting that I'm excited about it, because if I fail

691
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 2: and I've told everybody how excited I'm about it, then

692
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 2: it feels like more brand.

693
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 3: Fail, there's more exposure.

694
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, So the bigger picture for me is it's like, yeah,

695
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 2: I'm I feel like I'm entering a big scary opportunity

696
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 2: this year, but it.

697
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 3: Also feels like the biggest.

698
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 2: Opportunity of my life. And you know, yeah, it can

699
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 2: it can be both. And honestly, I think it would

700
00:33:58,320 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 2: be weird.

701
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 3: If I didn't feel scared, you know, like.

702
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 2: I feel like I otherwise what I'd be feeling, I'd

703
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:08,320
Speaker 2: be cocky, Yeah, like I would be unrealistic. And I

704
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 2: think when you work in a creative space, scared is

705
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 2: good because it drives you to like figure out something

706
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 2: new or something.

707
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,879
Speaker 3: Different, or the why of it all.

708
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 2: And I think that's what creatives are meant to answer,

709
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 2: is the why of it all. You know, like life

710
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 2: is temporary, so let us help you make sense of

711
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:29,439
Speaker 2: it while we're here.

712
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:30,360
Speaker 3: Yeah.

713
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 1: So, in a similar vein to what I said earlier, mine,

714
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 1: this is where I put down all the work stuff, because,

715
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 1: like you're saying, like, knowing the temporary versus the long

716
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:45,919
Speaker 1: term in this situation is really important because I think

717
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 1: in the past, like when I was younger, if something,

718
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 1: if I was feeling something, I would almost think like

719
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,839
Speaker 1: I was stuck like that forever. And as you get older,

720
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 1: you're kind of like this too shall pass. Everything has

721
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 1: a season, Life moves like in the shape of a quarkscrew,

722
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 1: it's going to be up and then it's be down,

723
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 1: Like you're never gonna be on this one track path

724
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 1: that I thought you were when I was younger, and

725
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,359
Speaker 1: so right now, like the reason I was saying to you,

726
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 1: I know I need to get help. And I said,

727
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 1: like to my boyfriend last night, making that request of

728
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,720
Speaker 1: like can you just help me and have a little

729
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 1: more grace even for me during this small season knowing

730
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 1: it's not going to be like this forever. I do

731
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 1: have a plan, like I am looking at rebuilding this

732
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 1: structure or asking for help or whatever versus just sitting

733
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 1: in this overwhelm and even this irritability that comes for

734
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,839
Speaker 1: that with me when I get overwhelmed, it's like I

735
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 1: just have less capacity for compassion or kindness or whatever.

736
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: And I don't like that version of me, Like I

737
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 1: don't want to be a version that's just driving all

738
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 1: the time with work and getting shit done. You know,

739
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,240
Speaker 1: like I could do that, but like it doesn't feel

740
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 1: like who I'm authentically supposed to be, and.

741
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 3: So like doing it without heart at that point, because

742
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 3: going through.

743
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 1: Them, and that's if you guys know me, like that

744
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,840
Speaker 1: is not me, Like everything I do is with heart,

745
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 1: Like that's the whole point of even this podcast. And

746
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 1: so yeah, like I know it's a season, and I

747
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 1: just want to keep reminding myself of the temporary part

748
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 1: of that and going this is a phase, This is

749
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: a phase. What is the pivot going to be? Like

750
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: the pivot's going to be when I get to a

751
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: place of knocking off these couple things on my list

752
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 1: to then be like okay, and here's the structure that

753
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 1: needs to be rebuilt. Where do you pull in the help,

754
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 1: Where do you get where do you outsource some things?

755
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 3: You know?

756
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 1: Where do you take this off your plate? And that

757
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 1: makes me less overwhelmed and irritable even looking at it

758
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 1: that way, if that makes sense. And that's a part

759
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 1: of the energy right now is we're all being asked

760
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 1: to look at our structures and stuff. But knowing like

761
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to stay is a freeing thing to me,

762
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,319
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't have to stay this way if it's

763
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 1: not working. That's that's the reason that's coming up right

764
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:01,440
Speaker 1: now is to expose that right so that it can change,

765
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 1: not to punish you or to make you feel just

766
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,839
Speaker 1: like overwhelmed in life, all the time, it's to be like, hey,

767
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 1: this is not working. Tap tap tap tap tap tap.

768
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a nice reminder to know that if you

769
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 2: ask somebody for help, the change is that I that

770
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 2: in and of itself brings you closer to the end

771
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:27,839
Speaker 2: of whatever the season is.

772
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 3: You know, have the weight.

773
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 1: It's like laying down a little bit of the way.

774
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 2: A minute, just asking for help. And then once you

775
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 2: receive the help, like some of those things are off

776
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 2: of your plate, and you're able to get to where

777
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:42,919
Speaker 2: you wanted to be a lot faster, for sure, And inevitably,

778
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 2: if you don't ask for the help that you need,

779
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 2: it's just going.

780
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:50,360
Speaker 3: To pile up. And this gets longer and longer and

781
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 3: longer and more untenable.

782
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,320
Speaker 1: Okay, the last one I wrote down. So, Aquarius is

783
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 1: a bit of a rebellious energy, and I think I

784
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 1: look at it as a good rebellious, not at this

785
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: like dangerous, disruptive rebellious. And I guess it is disruptive,

786
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 1: but like rebellious in the way of like they march

787
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 1: to the beat of their own drummer, you know, like

788
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 1: they're very eccentric and Aquarius visionary, like we said, And

789
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 1: so there are typically rebellions that come into play when

790
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 1: Aquarius energy is strong. We're in Aquarius season. We have

791
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,799
Speaker 1: Pluto and Aquarius as a bigger picture energy of the

792
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: whole collective life right now. So I was thinking, I'm like,

793
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:41,240
Speaker 1: what is like, what are the tiny rebellions in your life?

794
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 1: And this can be things that you're laying down. I

795
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 1: have one that's like so surface and silly, but it's

796
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 1: like the things that I'm kind of bucking back against,

797
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 1: going I'm gonna do this different right now, and I'm

798
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 1: gonna do it different than everybody else right now, And

799
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 1: maybe people are gonna think I'm crazy, but like it's

800
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 1: what feels right to me. So I'm gonna follow that.

801
00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:59,439
Speaker 1: Do you have anything like that?

802
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 2: I don't know that it's like applies to anyone else,

803
00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:07,600
Speaker 2: Like it's not coming from a place about anyone else.

804
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 2: This is solely a me thing. I grew up in

805
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 2: a house where my mom talked about money a lot,

806
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:15,400
Speaker 2: like we weren't poor, we weren't rich, we were perfectly

807
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 2: middle class. There were very few things that I didn't need,

808
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 2: And to this day she still talks about it like

809
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 2: we're the poorest people in the world. You know, like

810
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,839
Speaker 2: everyone else has all the money. Like she's always like, well,

811
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,600
Speaker 2: they're fine, you know, They've got all the money in

812
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 2: the world. And it's just like, lady, stop acting like

813
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 2: you were destitute. But it created this thing in me

814
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 2: where I always think about money and like I can't

815
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 2: do that because I won't make enough money, or I

816
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,239
Speaker 2: can't do that because I can't afford Like everything is

817
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 2: money based, and it's in fear, you know, like it's

818
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:51,839
Speaker 2: a sense of lacking, and I am rebelling. I'm gonna

819
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:55,359
Speaker 2: try and rebel against those feelings this year and just

820
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,879
Speaker 2: trust my fucking gut and know that if I come

821
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,640
Speaker 2: from a place of belief in myself and belief in

822
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 2: what I'm doing, the money will work itself out.

823
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 3: And that's a really it's a really scary problem.

824
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:08,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

825
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 2: But I also, like I believe that the innervert and

826
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 2: the universe like responds with your energy, and if my

827
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,720
Speaker 2: energy is coming from a place of fear about money,

828
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:21,600
Speaker 2: the universe is going to keep me in a place

829
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:26,320
Speaker 2: where money is always feels just out of reach absolutely,

830
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 2: you know, like I haven't I have enough, you know,

831
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 2: Like I am a very fortunate person. I've worked really

832
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 2: hard for what I do have, But why do I

833
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 2: feel like it's never enough? And it's not that I

834
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:42,240
Speaker 2: I like I do. I need to get better about

835
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:45,239
Speaker 2: buying things because I'm a snap purchaser, and I know

836
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 2: that that making that little change will make me feel

837
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 2: better about my money. But I don't want money to

838
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 2: be the thing that drives my soul anymore. Yeah, So

839
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,839
Speaker 2: if I don't have it, I need to adjust how

840
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,760
Speaker 2: I live so that I'm fine with that as long

841
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 2: as I am satisfying my creative desires and my work

842
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:08,360
Speaker 2: desires and just like you know, my personal desires. Like

843
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 2: I'm just fifty years old, I am on the downhill

844
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 2: of life. I don't want to worry.

845
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 3: About the shit that doesn't fucking matter anymore.

846
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you want to live live life and enjoy

847
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: it and not.

848
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 2: Be stuck to hit my bus tomorrow. So that's my

849
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 2: one little rebellion. So I'm kind of rebelling against my

850
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,400
Speaker 2: my myself in a way because.

851
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,240
Speaker 3: It's like this belief system that I've yeah, my narrative.

852
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 2: It's a belief system that I put in I allow

853
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 2: to be put in place in my mind that has

854
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 2: controlled me for way too long and I just don't.

855
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 3: I don't like it. It feels gross for on a

856
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 3: lot of levels. So I get that into it. Put

857
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 3: that one down this year.

858
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 1: I like that one a lot. I think a lot

859
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 1: of us live that way, and I mean truthfully a

860
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 1: little bit rightfully so for us as a culture of

861
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 1: having gone through COVID, like a lot of us lost

862
00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 1: jobs and like scarcity did become real, you know, So

863
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 1: it's like there is a trauma there a little bit

864
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 1: too that I think we're all kind of that like

865
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 1: laid on to maybe some old narratives that I've had

866
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 1: or that you've had or whatever, and kind of exacerbated

867
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 1: them where it's I feel like, now it's going, Okay,

868
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 1: I don't want to live that way, So how am

869
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 1: I going to not live that way? Is what I

870
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 1: hear you saying. And I love that as a rebellion

871
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 1: because it's like I do think it's become kind of

872
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 1: ingrained in us, especially because it doesn't feel like the

873
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 1: world is exactly stable right now, so it's hard not

874
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,960
Speaker 1: to just live there and fear and like scarcity all

875
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:35,879
Speaker 1: the time. You know. Mine is that I haven't gotten

876
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,239
Speaker 1: botox in over a year.

877
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,399
Speaker 3: Good for you, and I.

878
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: Don't mean that as a judgy. I have been getting

879
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 1: botox since I was like early thirties, so this is

880
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,440
Speaker 1: at all not at all judgy. It's that I was

881
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 1: realizing it wasn't working for me, and then I was

882
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 1: also realizing, like, I really do try to be conscious

883
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,719
Speaker 1: about what I'm putting in my body in all other

884
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,360
Speaker 1: areas of my life, and so it's really kind of weird,

885
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 1: isn't it that I would just still inject a poison.

886
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 1: I'm also not saying I'm never going to go back,

887
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 1: but what I did want to do was stop moving

888
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 1: with like being just a cog on the wheel or

889
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 1: whatever they say, like, because that's how we all do it,

890
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 1: and that's how society has made us think that's what

891
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: we need to do to be beautiful. There was this

892
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 1: there's this thing in me that flipped where I was like,

893
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 1: but what if that's not what I need to feel beautiful?

894
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 1: Or what if like I want to take time off

895
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 1: and let it all fade out to see what I

896
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 1: even look like anymore, to know what I want to yeah,

897
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:36,320
Speaker 1: and also just to be like I'm just getting shit injected.

898
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 1: And this point, my face is so frozen because I've

899
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 1: been doing it so long, I don't even really know

900
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 1: what issues I need to be treating, you know, and

901
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 1: as you age, things shift and they change, and like,

902
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 1: maybe botox isn't the right answer, Maybe it's something else

903
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 1: I need to be doing or want to be doing.

904
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 1: But I just wanted to stop putting the pressure on

905
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 1: myself of just going through the motions of what I

906
00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:58,920
Speaker 1: had done for so long and what I see so

907
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 1: many of us doing it as a beauty standard, and

908
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,800
Speaker 1: be like, is this what I think? Just asking myself

909
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: those questions? You know?

910
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, yeah, it's you don't even know what

911
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:11,800
Speaker 2: you're working with at this point.

912
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 3: So you may find that you feel more.

913
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 2: Beautiful as yourself, because what is the narrative that your

914
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 2: body is telling your mind when you're doing everything that

915
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 2: you can to not let it.

916
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 3: Be what it was going to be, right, and you're

917
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 3: telling yourself you're not enough.

918
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I work in the beauty business. I think

919
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 1: us feeling good about our presentation, Like, I think that's

920
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 1: so important. I watch it happen. I love doing that,

921
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,719
Speaker 1: Like I love helping people find their best selves and

922
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,400
Speaker 1: the version of themselves that they feel super confident in

923
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 1: presenting to the world. I just wanted to have more

924
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 1: of a say in it than be going through the motions.

925
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:00,360
Speaker 1: And what's been interesting is like when you said, maybe

926
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:04,280
Speaker 1: you like yourself better. I mean, it's hard to accept

927
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 1: wrinkles when you haven't had home for you know, for

928
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 1: a long time. And it's like interesting getting to know

929
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 1: this older version of me and kind of going, yeah,

930
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 1: my skin isn't as tight or whatever. I have a

931
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 1: lot of movement in my forehead, but like I just

932
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 1: did a motion, I wasn't able to make a certain

933
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 1: motion with my eyebrows, and like my eyes are like

934
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 1: way kinder without botox. I'm realizing that, and like it

935
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 1: actually feels like they're way more connected to what I

936
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 1: feel inside than maybe what I was even the world

937
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:35,239
Speaker 1: was looking at me like you know, And I don't know,

938
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,719
Speaker 1: it's just been an interesting like, oh, that's like a

939
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,480
Speaker 1: kind look. It does. It makes me look older, but

940
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 1: like I don't know, I kind of like presenting as

941
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 1: a more kind version of myself, you know. So I

942
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:48,359
Speaker 1: don't know, I'm just like I'm dealing. I'm just kind

943
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 1: of asking the questions, you know, I do this, It's

944
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 1: like I'll stop drinking for a while and I'm like, huh,

945
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 1: this makes me feel better, and yeah, I want to

946
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,799
Speaker 1: reevaluate that relationship or I don't know, this is just

947
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:00,800
Speaker 1: what I do. Like I just like to be aware.

948
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 1: It's learning, it is and it's just asking the questions.

949
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 1: Like I don't necessarily sit here and ever think I

950
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,520
Speaker 1: have the answers. I just want to keep asking the

951
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 1: questions and keep seeking and then be conscious of the

952
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:16,840
Speaker 1: actions that I'm taking in my life in all realms.

953
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:20,360
Speaker 1: And so yeah, no, botox is my micro abelue.

954
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:22,399
Speaker 2: Well, you know what's funny, it's even when I because

955
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 2: I stopped doing both talks too. It's been probably a

956
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 2: year at this point, and I didn't do it for

957
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 2: that long. It was kind of an experiment. But like

958
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,879
Speaker 2: even when I did it, they want you coming back

959
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 2: on a very regular shure and I never would even

960
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 2: do it on this Yeah, I would never do it.

961
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,320
Speaker 2: It's a it's a business, and there the beauty business

962
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 2: is a business, and they're constantly going to be inventing

963
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 2: new ways that you can feel and look younger, and

964
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:47,880
Speaker 2: you know, they hope you come back and you're just

965
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:49,399
Speaker 2: piling them all on and next thing you know, you're

966
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 2: spending three thousand dollars a month trying to look young

967
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 2: when all you're doing is getting older.

968
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 1: Well, right, and like we don't ever discuss the beauty

969
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 1: of aging in our world, and like I I don't know,

970
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 1: I'm looking at it so differently, Like I look at

971
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 1: my parents and they're in their later sixties and they

972
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 1: haven't done anything, Like my mom hasn't ever even gotten botox,

973
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 1: and like she even let her hair go gray recently,

974
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 1: and like she looks so beautiful to me.

975
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

976
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 1: Now, like it's just interesting to like experience that because

977
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 1: it also is just like we're not trying to be

978
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 1: anywhere else but where we are in life, if that

979
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 1: makes sense, And like there's something about that I'm really

980
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 1: liking too, Like I have a couple of clients that

981
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 1: are getting older and kind of also saying the same thing,

982
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:38,399
Speaker 1: like I just want to look my age. I don't

983
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:40,720
Speaker 1: want to try to be looking like I'm twenty anywhere

984
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 1: I'm not, so you.

985
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 3: Know, at a certain point you start to look like

986
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:44,840
Speaker 3: a fool.

987
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:48,920
Speaker 1: Oh totally, you know really yeah, yeah, So it's just

988
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:51,879
Speaker 1: a different It's an interesting conversation, especially for a person

989
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:54,240
Speaker 1: who works in the beauty business and has like built

990
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 1: a whole career off of doing that. Like, when I

991
00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 1: go to work, it's a weird almost pressure. Sometimes I've

992
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:02,560
Speaker 1: feel like this expectation of like, well, you better look

993
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 1: good because right, and so it's just like having.

994
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 3: A haircutter who's got real bad.

995
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 1: Hair exactly, and that is true. But I do want

996
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 1: to look at more ways at work with my body,

997
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: and like, if I decide to get botox, great, but

998
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 1: like I want it to be a conscious decision, not

999
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 1: a pressured decision that I'm doing almost from a like

1000
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 1: it's not scarcity necessarily, but in a similar way, it's like, oh, well,

1001
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 1: if I'm not pretty enough, what am I not going

1002
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,840
Speaker 1: to have? Or you know, like if I get older,

1003
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:34,440
Speaker 1: what is that going to mean? Like and it's like,

1004
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:37,839
Speaker 1: but you are getting older, so yeah, I don't know.

1005
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,520
Speaker 1: It's just an interesting one. So anyway, aquarious energy is

1006
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: bringing that to me.

1007
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 3: I'm rebell rebellion.

1008
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, so anyway, we have talked a long time, so

1009
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,719
Speaker 1: we need to go. But if you guys find that

1010
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,359
Speaker 1: you're rebelling in any ways or where these like, you know,

1011
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 1: the uranus energy is coming up and there's new things

1012
00:48:56,120 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 1: new structures being deconstructed, old structures being deconstructed, the new

1013
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:02,840
Speaker 1: structures being built. Let us know. I think this is

1014
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:04,759
Speaker 1: a really interesting conversation, so I'd love to hear from

1015
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 1: you guys. You can email us at the Edge at

1016
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:09,400
Speaker 1: velvet sedge dot com. You can also slide into my DMS.

1017
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:11,279
Speaker 1: I'm at Velvet's Edge Chip.

1018
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:14,720
Speaker 3: I'm at Chip door Shou's chip d O R.

1019
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 1: S c ch Hey and get him while he's here,

1020
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:20,719
Speaker 1: because he may be quitting Instagram pretty soon, so you

1021
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 1: better go slide into these dams and now you have

1022
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 1: a chance. Yes, you can also hit our podcast Instagram.

1023
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,719
Speaker 1: We are at Velvet Edge Podcast. We do clips on

1024
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 1: the podcast, journal prompts, things you can work with from

1025
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 1: the conversations we have. So go check that out at

1026
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,920
Speaker 1: velvets Edge podcast. And as you guys go into the

1027
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 1: weekends and you're living on the edge, I hope you

1028
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:50,840
Speaker 1: always remember too act can Bye body