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Speaker 1: The fifteen minute Morning show podcast all the way, But first,

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Speaker 1: zip recruiter dot com love them. If you're the person

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Speaker 1: organized and before you know what, you hire the next

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Speaker 1: superstar in your company. And here's how you can use

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Speaker 1: zip recruiter for free. Go to zip recruiter dot com

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Speaker 1: slash fifteen as in fifteen minute morning show podcast, zip

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Speaker 1: recruiter dot com slash fifteen. Use it for free, be

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Speaker 1: a hero. You'll use it time and time again. Zip

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Speaker 1: recruiter dot com slash fifteen four. What would you talk

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Speaker 1: about on your on your podcast. Firm Elvis represents the

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Speaker 1: fifteen minute morning show Happy Birthday, Happy, Yeah, yeah yeah?

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Speaker 1: What happy birthday are you? One? Do not quit? You

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Speaker 1: love you all? Are you happy birthday? You know they're

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Speaker 1: making it so special this morning. That was yes, I

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Speaker 1: do know. That's right. I think Bethany is right. There

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Speaker 1: is a second in the third verse to hell yeah,

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Speaker 1: how yeah, my friend's name? What's your name is Roger? No?

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Speaker 1: That one too? I never heard that your std You

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Speaker 1: look like an elephant? One too? You smell like an elephant?

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Speaker 1: Too many syllables. You look like a monkey. You smell

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Speaker 1: like one too? No, I said elephant, smell an elephant? No?

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Speaker 1: Who's your favorite philosopher? Who's your favorite elosopher? It's cont

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Speaker 1: isn't it? Why is kirpers look like a millipede? Goodness? Anyways,

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Speaker 1: but thank you guy? Often do you douche? Never? Because

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Speaker 1: I hear it GIFs you In fact, very bad for you.

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Speaker 1: You smell like one to your body's natural flora should

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Speaker 1: take care of everything that needs to happen. It's the

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Speaker 1: fauna that's the problem. And I clean regularly, so it's okay.

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Speaker 1: What are you doing? For your birthday. Tomorrow, We're going

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Speaker 1: to some tadrack calls his odd Yeah, so I'm going

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Speaker 1: to that. Um so I really said, let's save the

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Speaker 1: babysitter for tomorrow night. So I think tonight I really

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Speaker 1: want either Mexican or pizza for dinner kind thing. It's

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Speaker 1: just gonna be my family and I in the living room,

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Speaker 1: the opening presence uttering in and then Hubby and I

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Speaker 1: will have a nice evening watch some TV empires on

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Speaker 1: and you know, anyway, that's it. Shut up? What are

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Speaker 1: you going to shut What are you gonna do? Is

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Speaker 1: he gonna take your shirt off? Are you gonna take

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Speaker 1: your shirt off? Many to have sex on your birthday?

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Speaker 1: I was laughing because when Lisa and Froggy, when Lisa

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Speaker 1: has her birthday, because you know, Froggy is always begging.

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Speaker 1: So I always say to Froggy, well, technically she doesn't

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Speaker 1: have to have sex, and I technically this is her birthday,

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Speaker 1: so she cannot have sex with you, and he goes, no,

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Speaker 1: it's her birthday, she has to have sex. I said,

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Speaker 1: but maybe she doesn't want to have sex with you.

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Speaker 1: It's her vacations. Like to think if I was in

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Speaker 1: a relationship ship and I'm the man, which I am,

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Speaker 1: that you would enjoy it enough that, Hey, of course

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Speaker 1: you like sex with me. Here's your present. That's all

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Speaker 1: you're giving me. You give me that all the time.

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Speaker 1: You like seriously like guys, Why is that a stereotype

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Speaker 1: that guys think that that's their birthday present that they

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Speaker 1: get late. I would like to think that you like

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Speaker 1: sex that much that you want it. And this is

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Speaker 1: this is exactly the problem with Froggy And every time

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Speaker 1: he talks about not getting any if you're in a relationship,

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Speaker 1: sex is just natural. You don't hold that over each other's.

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Speaker 1: You can have to understand what I want. With Froggy,

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Speaker 1: he goes about it the wrong way. He's just like

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Speaker 1: the things he says, like I go, Froggy, maybe if

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Speaker 1: you said it this way, you would get it more

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Speaker 1: like he believe me, already tried it the other way

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Speaker 1: and it's not working. That's why he's bitching about Brody.

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Speaker 1: He gets it a lot more than you think. I

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Speaker 1: just don't understand loveless marriages like that. It's not loveless.

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Speaker 1: Loveless he portrays it a certain way. Believe me. Lisa

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Speaker 1: puts out a lot more than you know, you're only

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Speaker 1: getting on putting out what I mean, I'm just I

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Speaker 1: don't have to empire. Shut up. When you're married, there's

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Speaker 1: no putting it puts out? Does the guy put it in?

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Speaker 1: I just thought of that, Well, what's coming out? If

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Speaker 1: she's putting it out? Anything out? Is it the booths? Like, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to put out a little dirty. If you

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Speaker 1: analyze that, it doesn't make any sense. I think it's

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Speaker 1: in terms of like putting out effort. But you're also

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Speaker 1: I have one. I'll tell you, what was the last

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Speaker 1: time you did it? Yeah? When the last time you

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Speaker 1: had sex? Bill Clinton was present? Has it been more

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Speaker 1: than a week? Oh yeah, more than a month? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: more than two months. The guy's got a cast. My

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Speaker 1: right hand is useless. So in every way, is the

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Speaker 1: last time you had sex? Yesterday afternoon? When's the last

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Speaker 1: time you had was last week? Or last the end

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Speaker 1: of last week? And tonight and then tonight the night

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Speaker 1: after Empire Nate, last a couple of weeks, three, four five?

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Speaker 1: When was the last time you had sex and a

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Speaker 1: bed pan wasn't involved. Well, that's been a few years. Okay, scary,

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Speaker 1: You have to take the cat out the first Sunday Sunday.

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Speaker 1: Good job, that's good, good on you. Robin's out of town.

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Speaker 1: My house is that I am so tired because of

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Speaker 1: this job. And so if I go upstairs and I

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Speaker 1: put TV on, I'm watching TV. I started, I start

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Speaker 1: to go, and he's still doing work downstairs a lot.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, you know, so sometimes we will text

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Speaker 1: each other funny things, and he'll go, hey, I have

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Speaker 1: a couple of things to do, can you text me

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Speaker 1: a little something? So then and he's two floors down,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm And sometimes I sit there and

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Speaker 1: I go, am I texting him pictures? When he's two

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Speaker 1: floors down. I probably could get out of this bed

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Speaker 1: and just go down there. What if your kids were

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Speaker 1: holding the phone? Yeah, weekly everything's deleted. Believe me. What

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Speaker 1: if they're holding the phone they text you, Hey, Mom,

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Speaker 1: send us some pictures. But I just find it funny

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Speaker 1: that that's that's like human nature, now, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? Everything is so accessible this way. It's true, man,

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Speaker 1: I need to stay up a couple more hours, send

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Speaker 1: me a little something. It wasn't just put the computer

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Speaker 1: in the bedroom. No, no, you do you know you

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Speaker 1: got to go and see his office and all his

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Speaker 1: paperwork and all his crash. He wouldn't have room for

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Speaker 1: a bed. No, I just realized. So I know when

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Speaker 1: Scary has sex because of his relationship, he doesn't get

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Speaker 1: to see his girlfriend Monday through Friday pretty much, so

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Speaker 1: he's either having sex, uh not Friday night because he's

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Speaker 1: going out. So it's either Saturday or Sunday pretty much.

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Speaker 1: But you only have sex Saturday or Sunday, and it's

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Speaker 1: got to be Sunday morning because she's got to get

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Speaker 1: out so you can get ready for work Monday and

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Speaker 1: wait every time you see her. Do you have sex

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Speaker 1: or is there some days where she don't want to

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Speaker 1: be bothered? No, there there are times that we don't.

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Speaker 1: I mean, but you know. But to me, it's like

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Speaker 1: absence makes the heart grow fonder. I don't know. For somebody,

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Speaker 1: I'm not a very sexual person, I guess I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't need it all the time.

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Speaker 1: I don't need it all the time. By the way,

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Speaker 1: not to change his subject, but there's about eleven people

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Speaker 1: standing outside the door staring this podcast is way more

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Speaker 1: interesting birthday anyway. Do you have your card? Do you

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Speaker 1: want to read what everybody you read the card? Because

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Speaker 1: people were asking before on the big show, so now

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Speaker 1: let's tell them. On the small show, Elvis wrote, fuck

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Speaker 1: you Elvis, although I don't know he didn't write it,

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Speaker 1: somebody else wrote it. For that's very good. Elvin gets

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Speaker 1: the road to the best sister ever. I love you.

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Speaker 1: You deserve everything and more, not only today but every day,

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Speaker 1: whether that shoes or a boob squeeze. Jake wrote, I

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Speaker 1: love your face. Ronnie wrote I love you and your

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Speaker 1: body or want your body or want your body, um,

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Speaker 1: let's see. Scary wrote you get younger every day. I

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Speaker 1: hope your birthday is filled with love and laughter. Love Scary.

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Speaker 1: Kathleen wrote love you to the moon and back. Ronie

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Speaker 1: Road happy many happy shoes. Very nice. That's all you

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Speaker 1: want now? Yeah? They wrote the weetest thing, my sanity,

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Speaker 1: my solace, my smile, my Danielle, Happy Birthday. Scary was

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Speaker 1: in the lead for the nice thing. Is that at

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Speaker 1: the bottom of an email you got you just broke that.

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Speaker 1: It's a standard line, don't you wait? Do you admit

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Speaker 1: it on the air? Ones that you have like standard

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Speaker 1: letters used to girlfriend but not not for Daniel, you

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Speaker 1: tried to write You've never written that in anybody's part.

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Speaker 1: I'll use it again. But we had a very nice

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Speaker 1: conversation yesterday, so it was very nice. Did you take

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Speaker 1: a shirt off? Yes? He did? Love Greg ta happy

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Speaker 1: birthday and anymore. I've known this kid for how long

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Speaker 1: that Scotty? Yeah, we remembered. Andrew just wrote XO Andrew

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Speaker 1: Froggy that never writes this, everyone always right happy, and

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Speaker 1: Bethany wrote, I'm so grateful you're my sister. You keep

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Speaker 1: me saying on the regular and I love you so much.

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Speaker 1: EXO Bethany. You know are you sign it now? That's

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Speaker 1: what happened before Nate, Like Nate doesn't on her Nickels,

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Speaker 1: I didn't sign that, you know. I frog he loved you.

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Speaker 1: He'd buy the card next year then mail it up

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Speaker 1: here with his signature. Yeah, because you know what, I

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Speaker 1: always do that for him. I I if he's not

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Speaker 1: up here and make sure we mailed the card to him.

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Speaker 1: So you're a good friend, you know. I was actually concerned.

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Speaker 1: I was concerned last night because you're the person that

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Speaker 1: does the birthdays for everybody, and I'm like, who's going

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Speaker 1: to do it for Danielle. Okay. I went to Andrew,

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Speaker 1: Elvis's assidant, the greatest assistant in the world, and I said, Andrew, listen,

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Speaker 1: who's taking this? I know you're the fourth person I'm

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Speaker 1: taking care of it. About seven or eight people went

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Speaker 1: up to him and said, are you going to help

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Speaker 1: with the cakes? But that's a nice thing, but a

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Speaker 1: lazy thing because none of us were actually willing to

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Speaker 1: do it. I will say though, that when I went,

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Speaker 1: when I approached Andrew, it was the same exact story,

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Speaker 1: and no wonder why. He was like so he's so

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Speaker 1: like like very short with me. He was like, scary

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Speaker 1: because it's gonna be okay. I said, yeah, but you

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Speaker 1: know what, they want to bring a cake in from

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Speaker 1: another and outside source. And he goes okay because almost

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Speaker 1: like it was like the way of the world, and

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Speaker 1: that outside source says they would love to do every

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Speaker 1: buy's birthday now. So I will be sending them the

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Speaker 1: list because those cakes are amazing. Rember that scary and

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Speaker 1: I we are birthdays passed ready. Yeah. The place is

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Speaker 1: called butter Cookie, not a sponsor. Oh my god. They're

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Speaker 1: in Floral Park, New York and on Long Island and

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Speaker 1: they're amazing. Is a butter cookie or butter cookery, butter

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Speaker 1: cookie bakery but cookie spelled ce. Okay, why Danielle. I

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Speaker 1: got a text from Lisa yesterday afternoon going hey. She

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Speaker 1: was whispering in the text as if make sure you

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Speaker 1: get Danielle something because she gets everyone else something. So

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Speaker 1: then I went to Andrew, and then and Andrew, he's over.

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Speaker 1: Kathleen and Andrew were discussing your birthday two weeks ago,

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Speaker 1: a week ago, like like they were already in plans

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Speaker 1: there that one year we forgot my birth that was

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Speaker 1: me brownies. I forgot once they took a bunch of

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Speaker 1: Hostess cakes and they put them on a plate and

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Speaker 1: they say, I got a plan of brownies. Is the

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Speaker 1: hardest because I know he's got ciliak, he's got can't

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Speaker 1: have sugar because of his diabetes, and I always I

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Speaker 1: can't have sugar. But yeah, but it takes I go

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Speaker 1: what should I look? What should I do? And your

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Speaker 1: and and Ali always gives me ideas. Yeah, and that

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Speaker 1: was rough growing up too, because I would have a

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Speaker 1: birthday cake and all your friends, you know, they could

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Speaker 1: they could have sugar and they could have gluten. So

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Speaker 1: I would. I would blow out my candles and I

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Speaker 1: would just you know, fade off into the background as

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Speaker 1: everyone would attack my cake meat loaf story. Ever, let's

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Speaker 1: you say, last year, you want ice cream cake. You

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Speaker 1: can have sugar and ice cream though, but that's why

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Speaker 1: they invented insulin. I still think you should just get

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Speaker 1: him a meat loaf. No, I don't want Why put

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Speaker 1: a candle in it? That's a great idea. I would

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Speaker 1: love a birthday birthday. I was like that too, especially great.

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Speaker 1: And then you can slice it, you know, shape it

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Speaker 1: like a cake and put like instead of frost, sauce

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Speaker 1: or brown potatoes or instead of icing. Could you use

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Speaker 1: poison sauce, just like piston hoisten? Can you pull up

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Speaker 1: Jeremia birthday birthday? It's a great I would like, Actually,

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Speaker 1: we only have the brown sauce version. John Ivy beeped

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Speaker 1: meat in meat loaf because it sounds too dirty. Birthday

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Speaker 1: corn bread, anyone? I love birthday corn bread. It's the

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Speaker 1: best time of the year. Oh my god, let's go

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Speaker 1: with this. We should start a business that doesn't do

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Speaker 1: birthday cakes, but special ship like birthday meat. What is

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Speaker 1: the confetti in It's like traditional birthday. What if you

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Speaker 1: get briskets shaped like a birthday, we'll call it. We'll

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Speaker 1: call it birthday fake and it's not take trade. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then you can also rent a gay guy because

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Speaker 1: that's what Daniel wants to gay. That's my idea. Nobody

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Speaker 1: knows an off of the birthday fake website. By the

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Speaker 1: time you hear this podcast, own it around. Nobody own

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Speaker 1: nobody owns that already birthday fake dot com. How many

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Speaker 1: people are thinking about birthday fake dot God, don't post

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Speaker 1: this till we gets gets own own birthday which the

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Speaker 1: big mats of ball birthday ship Bethany while you're at

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Speaker 1: it by Pappy Lasagna versary one big birthday need boys,

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Speaker 1: there's six of us, two dollars my birthday fake dot

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Speaker 1: e du and birthday fake dot org dot dot d.

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Speaker 1: You you the car motherfucker hapens every time we drink,

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Speaker 1: and we'll go, let's let's do something and then we'll

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Speaker 1: see what happens tomorrow where we're going to get one

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Speaker 1: extra sentwich for the name I put five dollars and

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Speaker 1: the time that I was a dancer tailor for money,

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Speaker 1: I did what you wanted me to do because you

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Speaker 1: want to point out Scary hasn't ponied up any money.

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Speaker 1: You're not reading the benefits, not dollars dollars dollar. Bethany

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Speaker 1: just took a shirt off for that dollar. We have

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Speaker 1: a company, we don't we have to call our attorneys

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Speaker 1: now and get the name trademark for this industry. No thanks,

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Speaker 1: we don't need an email. Continue with these, I'll take

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Speaker 1: care of it before this podcast. So glad this is

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Speaker 1: the last podcast we ever have to do because we

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Speaker 1: have a bunch more profitable business this podcast, and we're

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Speaker 1: gonna quit on Elvis. Yea. Yeah. By the way, is

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Speaker 1: this podcast was over because I got a right happy

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Speaker 1: birthday to birthday to you bake birthday dot com. This

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Speaker 1: is a sponsor The fifteen The Morning Show