Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
Speaker 1: whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions. And if you're suffering
Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and leave
Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2: Hi, Cheeky's, I just wanted to ask you, how did
Speaker 2: you manage taking care of your siblings and raising them
Speaker 2: pretty much for your whole life. How did you balance
Speaker 2: your work life and your relationships while also taking care
Speaker 2: of your siblings. Because I am currently taking care of
Speaker 2: my Thea, and she has breast cancer. And when I
Speaker 2: heard the news, and I was even given a dream
Speaker 2: that she was gonna be diagnosed with breast cancer, and
Speaker 2: I feel like it's been put on me by God
Speaker 2: to take care of her and kind of prepare me
Speaker 2: for this because of how close we are, but I'm
Speaker 2: starting to feel a little bit overwhelmed and just like
Speaker 2: the weight of her situation is all on me, and
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm drowning. So I just wanted to ask,
Speaker 2: how did you manage to take care of your siblings
Speaker 2: and also keep your sanity and not feel so overwhelmed.
Speaker 2: I know that you have because I've watched your shows everything,
Speaker 2: But what tips can you give me to help relieve
Speaker 2: that or make it better?
Speaker 3: Victoria? What a beautiful human being. Wow.
Speaker 1: I know it's a difficult situation taking the responsibility for
Speaker 1: someone else's life like I did with my siblings. When
Speaker 1: I was in the moment living that, there were times
Speaker 1: of frustration and I was just like, why why am
Speaker 1: I the oldest? Why do I have such responsibility? Why
Speaker 1: can't I just be a normal sixteen year old that
Speaker 1: goes out with her friends. And I'm not going to
Speaker 1: say that I didn't complain about it. There were times that,
Speaker 1: I mean I did, like a lot. You know now
Speaker 1: as years have passed and I understand Even then, I
Speaker 1: was like, I know I'm doing God's work. I know
Speaker 1: this is what I'm supposed to do. Like I felt
Speaker 1: what you feel like you're like, Okay, God wants me
Speaker 1: to do this, but that doesn't mean that everything that
Speaker 1: God wants us to do is going to be easy.
Speaker 1: First of all, what you're doing is beautiful and there's
Speaker 1: a big, huge blessing that's coming to your life. I
Speaker 1: don't doubt that at all. But I know you are
Speaker 1: like in the middle of it, and and it's a lot.
Speaker 1: So I'm sending you a big hug first of all,
Speaker 1: a big, big hug full of light, because I can
Speaker 1: hear it and I can feel what you're feeling. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you work out, but that will definitely help.
Speaker 1: I know it sounds silly, but working out and sweating
Speaker 1: and releasing that's why I love boxing so much, because
Speaker 1: boxing has helped me just release frustration and tension and
Speaker 1: stress just hitting something. I even told Johnny yesterday. My
Speaker 1: brother I was like, he was feeling fresh, and I said,
Speaker 1: go upstairs and hit the punching bag. You need to
Speaker 1: just let it out, go yell sometimes.
Speaker 3: You know what I used to do that.
Speaker 1: I used to go in my backyard and yell loud
Speaker 1: at like just let it out, and then you feel better.
Speaker 1: It's because you have a lot of tension in your
Speaker 1: body and that's okay. It's a lot that you're doing,
Speaker 1: but you also need to release. So what are positive
Speaker 1: ways of releasing? Yelling out loud by yourself in your backyard, outside,
Speaker 1: hitting a punching bag, working out, doing cardio, prayer. You
Speaker 1: guys know I'm a huge woman of faith. Leave in
Speaker 1: prayer and meditation and just quieting down your mind. Of course,
Speaker 1: therapy to help you through the situation. But more than anything,
Speaker 1: knowing and telling yourself every day I am doing God's work. God,
Speaker 1: give me the strain, give me the wisdom, give me
Speaker 1: the courage to keep on doing this because what you're
Speaker 1: doing is a beautiful thing. You're being selfless and I
Speaker 1: know it's a lot, but I promise you just knowing
Speaker 1: that God has something amazing for you. And I know
Speaker 1: you're not doing it for that, but just know, just
Speaker 1: know that you're doing something good and that your thea
Speaker 1: I'm sure absolutely appreciates it. So you are there because
Speaker 1: you're meant to be there. Tell yourself every single day
Speaker 1: and breathe deep intentional breathing helps Victoria. Wow, I hope
Speaker 1: like get to meet you and day Okay, sending you
Speaker 1: another big, big hugs. Thank you so much for your question,
Speaker 1: and I really hope that I was able to help.
Speaker 1: All right, So our next question comes from Cecilia.
Speaker 4: Hi, Janee, congratulations on your engagement. I had a question though.
Speaker 4: You mentioned in your book as well as previous episodes
Speaker 4: that you felt unsure and easy, just something telling you
Speaker 4: that you were not making the right choice by marrying Lorenzo,
Speaker 4: and you just mentioned that you kind of were feeling
Speaker 4: the same thing about Emilio. Do you think this is
Speaker 4: a sign is it different? If so, how how do
Speaker 4: you know that it's not, you know, like that instinct
Speaker 4: that is just not right. I'm honestly curious because I
Speaker 4: have a lot of things happening and I just I
Speaker 4: don't know how to differentiate between my gut instinct and
Speaker 4: just my anxiety or fear. Thank you, congrats again.
Speaker 3: Hi Cecilia, thank you. I really like your question. I
Speaker 3: appreciate it very much. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: From the very beginning of my relationship with Zoe, I
Speaker 1: knew something was off. I felt it in my spirit.
Speaker 1: Sometimes what I do is I close my eyes and
Speaker 1: I ask myself, okay, do I have peace.
Speaker 3: With this decision?
Speaker 1: And I don't know how to explain it, and it's
Speaker 1: going to be very hard for me to verbalize it.
Speaker 1: But it's something that you just feel in your chest
Speaker 1: and you're tummy where you're just like you feel relaxed.
Speaker 1: When you ask yourself, do I have peace with this?
Speaker 1: And you feel tension and your chest tightens up and
Speaker 1: your tummy like doesn't feel right, that's when you know
Speaker 1: your spirit, your soul is telling you this isn't good
Speaker 1: for you. And that's a thing with that relationship. Without
Speaker 1: taking anything away from it, because again, I learned so
Speaker 1: much from my past, and I'm grateful with my past.
Speaker 1: I just knew he wasn't ready, and that's okay. He
Speaker 1: wasn't ready, and I knew it.
Speaker 3: I just knew.
Speaker 1: I was like, I know that I'm ready to give
Speaker 1: my all and to make this work and to do
Speaker 1: things the right way. But I just know, I'm like,
Speaker 1: he's not. There are still things that he wants to do.
Speaker 1: He wants to still party and do things that I'm
Speaker 1: just not okay with. And I found myself having more
Speaker 1: sad days and more anxiety, and I was frustrated and irritated,
Speaker 1: and it was just so many negative emotions that I'm like,
Speaker 1: this isn't good. It's really really taking a toll on me.
Speaker 1: And I just stood in the relationship for the lack
Speaker 1: of not being alone. I guess you could say that's
Speaker 1: a codependency thing that I've been working on my whole life,
Speaker 1: but it felt different now with Emilio. The only reason
Speaker 1: I thought of letting him go was because I felt
Speaker 1: that I wasn't being my best self. Maybe or I
Speaker 1: felt like I was being my best self, like I
Speaker 1: was doing everything and I could to make the relationship work,
Speaker 1: but I felt like maybe it's just not enough, and
Speaker 1: I felt like, Okay, maybe I don't deserve him. But
Speaker 1: when he asked me to marry him, I felt like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, he's absolutely ready. I'm ready. You know
Speaker 1: I'm ready. We want the same things, like I know
Speaker 1: that he's not going to disappear on me at night
Speaker 1: and I can't get a hold of him for hours,
Speaker 1: like he doesn't do things like that, like he I
Speaker 1: don't know. I just have peace. And I asked myself
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I feel happy. I feel happy. I
Speaker 1: want to go look at venues like it's just so different.
Speaker 1: Not that I wasn't excited before, but I just don't
Speaker 1: know how to explain it. And now I'm just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this feels just like happy and just
Speaker 1: bright and light and we're on the same page.
Speaker 3: I don't know, he's just ready. And it's hard.
Speaker 1: It's hard to answer your question because it's just a
Speaker 1: feeling that you get. But I would suggest for you
Speaker 1: to just ask yourself, do I have peace with this decision?
Speaker 1: Is this bringing me more happiness? Or is it bringing
Speaker 1: me more sadness, more anxiety, more tension in my chest.
Speaker 1: That's where you kind of have to weigh it out
Speaker 1: and write down the pros and the cons of what.
Speaker 1: I don't know the situation that you're going through. But
Speaker 1: that's the best advice I can give you. So I
Speaker 1: hope it helps, and I hope I was able to
Speaker 1: answer your question. You know, hopefully that was clear. Okay,
Speaker 1: So our next question comes from Abel.
Speaker 5: Hey Chieky's is me Abel from Houston, Texas, salus Hey.
Speaker 5: I want to know if it's true l alas shady Bay.
Speaker 5: I'm pretty sure a lot of people are asking you.
Speaker 1: This, but jeez, man, Abel, I love it. We don't
Speaker 1: get a lot of guys on here, so Thank you
Speaker 1: so much. Shout out to h Town, Houston.
Speaker 3: Thank you for your question.
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, so what he's asking me is if I'm
Speaker 1: going to pay for a BBL for Shoddy Bay.
Speaker 3: Shoddy Bay.
Speaker 1: Y'all don't know who she is, go look her up
Speaker 1: on TikTok. She's huge on TikTok. But yeah, Shoddy is
Speaker 1: an influencer. She's so she's so funny. Honestly, she makes
Speaker 1: me laugh. She's just and she's so sweet. She's such
Speaker 1: a sweetheart.
Speaker 3: But to answer your.
Speaker 1: Question able is the bussy Olsah? I mean, if she
Speaker 1: wants me to, I definitely will. We did talk about it,
Speaker 1: and I just for me, it's important for her to
Speaker 1: get all her tests done, like her blood work, check
Speaker 1: her heart, make sure she's healthy and ready for it.
Speaker 1: But if that's what's going to make her happy and
Speaker 1: I can support her, I'm all about like if you
Speaker 1: want to get surgery, plastic surgery do y'all. Thanks so Able,
Speaker 1: you know it's all good. You're so funny. I love
Speaker 1: your question, but yes I would. I got to talk
Speaker 1: to her actually about it. So thank you Able for
Speaker 1: your questions. Okay, So our last question comes from Yenni, what.
Speaker 4: Do you see you struggled with the most growing up?
Speaker 3: Oh, I like your questions straight up and just direct.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Yenni.
Speaker 1: Okay, So, if I had to choose one thing, I
Speaker 1: think the biggest thing that I struggled with growing up
Speaker 1: was not speaking up. Damn that end is creating boundaries,
Speaker 1: like you know, knowing how to say no.
Speaker 3: It was the biggest thing.
Speaker 1: Like even when something didn't feel comfortable with my sexual abuse,
Speaker 1: you know, for my dad, or just certain things at
Speaker 1: school or boys were mean like I just things that
Speaker 1: I just wouldn't say anything, Like I wouldn't speak up
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to disappoint anyone. And that's the
Speaker 1: worst thing that we could do, because when we do that,
Speaker 1: then we disappoint ourselves and we're unhappy. So now that
Speaker 1: I've gotten older and it took me a long time
Speaker 1: to be honest to speak up and feel strong enough,
Speaker 1: I guess, or brave enough to just say no, I
Speaker 1: don't like that, or that doesn't make me happy or
Speaker 1: I don't have peace with that decision. Now it feels
Speaker 1: good to be able to say, you know what, I
Speaker 1: don't like that, I'm okay, I can't go, or I
Speaker 1: don't want to go. Or before it was like, let
Speaker 1: me try to make every event and let me try
Speaker 1: to do everything to make everyone happy, and it's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: how is a people pleaser?
Speaker 3: That's probably what what it is. I struggled with being.
Speaker 1: A people please their Oh my goodness, yes, well yeah,
Speaker 1: thank god, that ain't the case no more. But it's
Speaker 1: just we have so many influences when we're growing up.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, we we want to fit in,
Speaker 1: We want to be part of the cool crowd. We
Speaker 1: don't want to disappoint. We want everyone's approval. So it's
Speaker 1: like the only approval and the most important one is
Speaker 1: yourself and you being happy and being at peace. And wow,
Speaker 1: if the faster and the sooner you learn that, you guys,
Speaker 1: the better. So Yeahni, thank you for your question because
Speaker 1: you just made me reflect right now, like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: on the right track.
Speaker 3: I'm doing good.
Speaker 1: Book at them, Cecilia. I love hearing from you guys.
Speaker 1: You guys make me so happy, and I hope I
Speaker 1: make you happy too. You can leave me your questions
Speaker 1: at speakpipe dot com. Slash Cheeky is in chill. I'll
Speaker 1: see you guys, on the next one, Los Pira Mucho.
Speaker 1: This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microdura podcast Network.
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at Micaeldura Podcasts and follow me
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