WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: Keeping It All Together, Trusting Your Intuition and BBL for Shawty Bae?

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the

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<v Speaker 1>voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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<v Speaker 1>advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

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<v Speaker 1>your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

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<v Speaker 1>to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,

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<v Speaker 1>whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember

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<v Speaker 1>these are my thoughts and opinions. And if you're suffering

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<v Speaker 1>from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from

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<v Speaker 1>a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and leave

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<v Speaker 1>your question at the sound of the beat.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, Cheeky's, I just wanted to ask you, how did

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<v Speaker 2>you manage taking care of your siblings and raising them

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<v Speaker 2>pretty much for your whole life. How did you balance

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<v Speaker 2>your work life and your relationships while also taking care

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<v Speaker 2>of your siblings. Because I am currently taking care of

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<v Speaker 2>my Thea, and she has breast cancer. And when I

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<v Speaker 2>heard the news, and I was even given a dream

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<v Speaker 2>that she was gonna be diagnosed with breast cancer, and

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like it's been put on me by God

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<v Speaker 2>to take care of her and kind of prepare me

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<v Speaker 2>for this because of how close we are, but I'm

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<v Speaker 2>starting to feel a little bit overwhelmed and just like

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<v Speaker 2>the weight of her situation is all on me, and

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like I'm drowning. So I just wanted to ask,

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<v Speaker 2>how did you manage to take care of your siblings

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<v Speaker 2>and also keep your sanity and not feel so overwhelmed.

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<v Speaker 2>I know that you have because I've watched your shows everything,

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<v Speaker 2>But what tips can you give me to help relieve

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<v Speaker 2>that or make it better?

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<v Speaker 3>Victoria? What a beautiful human being. Wow.

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<v Speaker 1>I know it's a difficult situation taking the responsibility for

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<v Speaker 1>someone else's life like I did with my siblings. When

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<v Speaker 1>I was in the moment living that, there were times

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<v Speaker 1>of frustration and I was just like, why why am

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<v Speaker 1>I the oldest? Why do I have such responsibility? Why

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<v Speaker 1>can't I just be a normal sixteen year old that

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<v Speaker 1>goes out with her friends. And I'm not going to

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<v Speaker 1>say that I didn't complain about it. There were times that,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I did, like a lot. You know now

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<v Speaker 1>as years have passed and I understand Even then, I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, I know I'm doing God's work. I know

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<v Speaker 1>this is what I'm supposed to do. Like I felt

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<v Speaker 1>what you feel like you're like, Okay, God wants me

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<v Speaker 1>to do this, but that doesn't mean that everything that

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<v Speaker 1>God wants us to do is going to be easy.

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<v Speaker 1>First of all, what you're doing is beautiful and there's

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<v Speaker 1>a big, huge blessing that's coming to your life. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't doubt that at all. But I know you are

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<v Speaker 1>like in the middle of it, and and it's a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm sending you a big hug first of all,

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<v Speaker 1>a big, big hug full of light, because I can

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<v Speaker 1>hear it and I can feel what you're feeling. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know if you work out, but that will definitely help.

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<v Speaker 1>I know it sounds silly, but working out and sweating

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<v Speaker 1>and releasing that's why I love boxing so much, because

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<v Speaker 1>boxing has helped me just release frustration and tension and

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<v Speaker 1>stress just hitting something. I even told Johnny yesterday. My

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<v Speaker 1>brother I was like, he was feeling fresh, and I said,

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<v Speaker 1>go upstairs and hit the punching bag. You need to

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<v Speaker 1>just let it out, go yell sometimes.

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<v Speaker 3>You know what I used to do that.

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<v Speaker 1>I used to go in my backyard and yell loud

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<v Speaker 1>at like just let it out, and then you feel better.

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<v Speaker 1>It's because you have a lot of tension in your

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<v Speaker 1>body and that's okay. It's a lot that you're doing,

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<v Speaker 1>but you also need to release. So what are positive

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<v Speaker 1>ways of releasing? Yelling out loud by yourself in your backyard, outside,

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<v Speaker 1>hitting a punching bag, working out, doing cardio, prayer. You

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<v Speaker 1>guys know I'm a huge woman of faith. Leave in

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<v Speaker 1>prayer and meditation and just quieting down your mind. Of course,

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<v Speaker 1>therapy to help you through the situation. But more than anything,

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<v Speaker 1>knowing and telling yourself every day I am doing God's work. God,

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<v Speaker 1>give me the strain, give me the wisdom, give me

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<v Speaker 1>the courage to keep on doing this because what you're

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<v Speaker 1>doing is a beautiful thing. You're being selfless and I

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<v Speaker 1>know it's a lot, but I promise you just knowing

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<v Speaker 1>that God has something amazing for you. And I know

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<v Speaker 1>you're not doing it for that, but just know, just

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<v Speaker 1>know that you're doing something good and that your thea

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure absolutely appreciates it. So you are there because

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<v Speaker 1>you're meant to be there. Tell yourself every single day

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<v Speaker 1>and breathe deep intentional breathing helps Victoria. Wow, I hope

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<v Speaker 1>like get to meet you and day Okay, sending you

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<v Speaker 1>another big, big hugs. Thank you so much for your question,

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<v Speaker 1>and I really hope that I was able to help.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, So our next question comes from Cecilia.

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<v Speaker 4>Hi, Janee, congratulations on your engagement. I had a question though.

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<v Speaker 4>You mentioned in your book as well as previous episodes

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<v Speaker 4>that you felt unsure and easy, just something telling you

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<v Speaker 4>that you were not making the right choice by marrying Lorenzo,

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<v Speaker 4>and you just mentioned that you kind of were feeling

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<v Speaker 4>the same thing about Emilio. Do you think this is

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<v Speaker 4>a sign is it different? If so, how how do

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<v Speaker 4>you know that it's not, you know, like that instinct

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<v Speaker 4>that is just not right. I'm honestly curious because I

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<v Speaker 4>have a lot of things happening and I just I

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<v Speaker 4>don't know how to differentiate between my gut instinct and

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<v Speaker 4>just my anxiety or fear. Thank you, congrats again.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi Cecilia, thank you. I really like your question. I

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<v Speaker 3>appreciate it very much. Here's the thing.

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<v Speaker 1>From the very beginning of my relationship with Zoe, I

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<v Speaker 1>knew something was off. I felt it in my spirit.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes what I do is I close my eyes and

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<v Speaker 1>I ask myself, okay, do I have peace.

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<v Speaker 3>With this decision?

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<v Speaker 1>And I don't know how to explain it, and it's

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<v Speaker 1>going to be very hard for me to verbalize it.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's something that you just feel in your chest

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<v Speaker 1>and you're tummy where you're just like you feel relaxed.

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<v Speaker 1>When you ask yourself, do I have peace with this?

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<v Speaker 1>And you feel tension and your chest tightens up and

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<v Speaker 1>your tummy like doesn't feel right, that's when you know

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<v Speaker 1>your spirit, your soul is telling you this isn't good

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<v Speaker 1>for you. And that's a thing with that relationship. Without

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<v Speaker 1>taking anything away from it, because again, I learned so

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<v Speaker 1>much from my past, and I'm grateful with my past.

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<v Speaker 1>I just knew he wasn't ready, and that's okay. He

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't ready, and I knew it.

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<v Speaker 3>I just knew.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I know that I'm ready to give

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<v Speaker 1>my all and to make this work and to do

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<v Speaker 1>things the right way. But I just know, I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>he's not. There are still things that he wants to do.

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<v Speaker 1>He wants to still party and do things that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just not okay with. And I found myself having more

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<v Speaker 1>sad days and more anxiety, and I was frustrated and irritated,

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<v Speaker 1>and it was just so many negative emotions that I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>this isn't good. It's really really taking a toll on me.

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<v Speaker 1>And I just stood in the relationship for the lack

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<v Speaker 1>of not being alone. I guess you could say that's

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<v Speaker 1>a codependency thing that I've been working on my whole life,

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<v Speaker 1>but it felt different now with Emilio. The only reason

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<v Speaker 1>I thought of letting him go was because I felt

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<v Speaker 1>that I wasn't being my best self. Maybe or I

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<v Speaker 1>felt like I was being my best self, like I

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<v Speaker 1>was doing everything and I could to make the relationship work,

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<v Speaker 1>but I felt like maybe it's just not enough, and

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<v Speaker 1>I felt like, Okay, maybe I don't deserve him. But

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<v Speaker 1>when he asked me to marry him, I felt like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my god, he's absolutely ready. I'm ready. You know

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<v Speaker 1>I'm ready. We want the same things, like I know

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<v Speaker 1>that he's not going to disappear on me at night

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<v Speaker 1>and I can't get a hold of him for hours,

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<v Speaker 1>like he doesn't do things like that, like he I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I just have peace. And I asked myself

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, I feel happy. I feel happy. I

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<v Speaker 1>want to go look at venues like it's just so different.

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<v Speaker 1>Not that I wasn't excited before, but I just don't

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<v Speaker 1>know how to explain it. And now I'm just like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my god, this feels just like happy and just

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<v Speaker 1>bright and light and we're on the same page.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know, he's just ready. And it's hard.

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<v Speaker 1>It's hard to answer your question because it's just a

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<v Speaker 1>feeling that you get. But I would suggest for you

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<v Speaker 1>to just ask yourself, do I have peace with this decision?

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<v Speaker 1>Is this bringing me more happiness? Or is it bringing

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<v Speaker 1>me more sadness, more anxiety, more tension in my chest.

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<v Speaker 1>That's where you kind of have to weigh it out

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<v Speaker 1>and write down the pros and the cons of what.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know the situation that you're going through. But

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<v Speaker 1>that's the best advice I can give you. So I

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<v Speaker 1>hope it helps, and I hope I was able to

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<v Speaker 1>answer your question. You know, hopefully that was clear. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So our next question comes from Abel.

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<v Speaker 5>Hey Chieky's is me Abel from Houston, Texas, salus Hey.

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<v Speaker 5>I want to know if it's true l alas shady Bay.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm pretty sure a lot of people are asking you.

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<v Speaker 1>This, but jeez, man, Abel, I love it. We don't

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<v Speaker 1>get a lot of guys on here, so Thank you

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<v Speaker 1>so much. Shout out to h Town, Houston.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you for your question.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, guys, so what he's asking me is if I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to pay for a BBL for Shoddy Bay.

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<v Speaker 3>Shoddy Bay.

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<v Speaker 1>Y'all don't know who she is, go look her up

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<v Speaker 1>on TikTok. She's huge on TikTok. But yeah, Shoddy is

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<v Speaker 1>an influencer. She's so she's so funny. Honestly, she makes

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<v Speaker 1>me laugh. She's just and she's so sweet. She's such

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<v Speaker 1>a sweetheart.

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<v Speaker 3>But to answer your.

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<v Speaker 1>Question able is the bussy Olsah? I mean, if she

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<v Speaker 1>wants me to, I definitely will. We did talk about it,

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<v Speaker 1>and I just for me, it's important for her to

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<v Speaker 1>get all her tests done, like her blood work, check

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<v Speaker 1>her heart, make sure she's healthy and ready for it.

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<v Speaker 1>But if that's what's going to make her happy and

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<v Speaker 1>I can support her, I'm all about like if you

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<v Speaker 1>want to get surgery, plastic surgery do y'all. Thanks so Able,

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<v Speaker 1>you know it's all good. You're so funny. I love

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<v Speaker 1>your question, but yes I would. I got to talk

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<v Speaker 1>to her actually about it. So thank you Able for

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<v Speaker 1>your questions. Okay, So our last question comes from Yenni, what.

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<v Speaker 4>Do you see you struggled with the most growing up?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I like your questions straight up and just direct.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you, Yenni.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So, if I had to choose one thing, I

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<v Speaker 1>think the biggest thing that I struggled with growing up

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<v Speaker 1>was not speaking up. Damn that end is creating boundaries,

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<v Speaker 1>like you know, knowing how to say no.

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<v Speaker 3>It was the biggest thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Like even when something didn't feel comfortable with my sexual abuse,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, for my dad, or just certain things at

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<v Speaker 1>school or boys were mean like I just things that

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<v Speaker 1>I just wouldn't say anything, Like I wouldn't speak up

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<v Speaker 1>because I didn't want to disappoint anyone. And that's the

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<v Speaker 1>worst thing that we could do, because when we do that,

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<v Speaker 1>then we disappoint ourselves and we're unhappy. So now that

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<v Speaker 1>I've gotten older and it took me a long time

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<v Speaker 1>to be honest to speak up and feel strong enough,

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<v Speaker 1>I guess, or brave enough to just say no, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't like that, or that doesn't make me happy or

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have peace with that decision. Now it feels

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<v Speaker 1>good to be able to say, you know what, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't like that, I'm okay, I can't go, or I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to go. Or before it was like, let

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<v Speaker 1>me try to make every event and let me try

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<v Speaker 1>to do everything to make everyone happy, and it's just like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>how is a people pleaser?

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<v Speaker 3>That's probably what what it is. I struggled with being.

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<v Speaker 1>A people please their Oh my goodness, yes, well yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>thank god, that ain't the case no more. But it's

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<v Speaker 1>just we have so many influences when we're growing up.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like, you know, we we want to fit in,

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<v Speaker 1>We want to be part of the cool crowd. We

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to disappoint. We want everyone's approval. So it's

0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:19.719
<v Speaker 1>like the only approval and the most important one is

0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:23.920
<v Speaker 1>yourself and you being happy and being at peace. And wow,

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<v Speaker 1>if the faster and the sooner you learn that, you guys,

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<v Speaker 1>the better. So Yeahni, thank you for your question because

0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:31.199
<v Speaker 1>you just made me reflect right now, like, oh, I'm

0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:31.800
<v Speaker 1>on the right track.

0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:32.440
<v Speaker 3>I'm doing good.

0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:42.200
<v Speaker 1>Book at them, Cecilia. I love hearing from you guys.

0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:44.160
<v Speaker 1>You guys make me so happy, and I hope I

0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:47.000
<v Speaker 1>make you happy too. You can leave me your questions

0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:50.040
<v Speaker 1>at speakpipe dot com. Slash Cheeky is in chill. I'll

0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:52.000
<v Speaker 1>see you guys, on the next one, Los Pira Mucho.

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:06.200
<v Speaker 1>This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microdura podcast Network.

0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:09.679
<v Speaker 1>Follow us on Instagram at Micaeldura Podcasts and follow me

0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:12.880
<v Speaker 1>Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s. For

0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:17.280
<v Speaker 1>more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check

0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:21.280
<v Speaker 1>us out on YouTube.