WEBVTT - #41 Make Do and Mend 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.480 Hell I Suck Good Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared 0:00:04.760 --> 0:00:10.920 and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everybody, and welcome to 0:00:11.360 --> 0:00:15.360 I'll do brand new episode of Help I Suck At Dating. 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:19.760 My name is Jared, I'm joined by Vanessa. Hello. Hello, 0:00:20.239 --> 0:00:23.920 Hello Vanessa. How are you? I'm great? How are you doing? Wonderful? 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:25.640 It's always good to be your voice. My voice a 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:27.280 little bit. Yeah, do you hear that my voice is 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:30.680 a little bit. It's a little raspy. Yeah, I actually 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:32.520 a little sectum like, I kind of hope this date. 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:35.959 But now that's so funny because I think the same thing. 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:38.000 I think Ashley loves my voice when it's a little 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:43.559 bit raspier, kind of Batman totally, it's the best. Um. So, anyway, 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:45.680 we have our first guest. Dean is still on vacation, 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:51.199 traveling the world, doing a vacation. I think it's more 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:53.880 like a soul searching. Yeah, he's been gone for I 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:55.680 don't know four years. I will look into how long 0:00:55.720 --> 0:00:57.200 it's been gone because we may have to take his 0:00:57.240 --> 0:00:59.720 name out of the title pretty soon. Now he's gonna 0:00:59.720 --> 0:01:01.800 be back either next week or the week after. I 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:05.080 believe one of those two to hear stories from Oh, 0:01:05.120 --> 0:01:07.440 I agree, But we have a very special guest in 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:11.319 studio from the creators of the Men's App, which is 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:14.600 an app that actually the men broken Hearts with. We 0:01:14.720 --> 0:01:19.840 have its creator L, so nice to be here. What's 0:01:19.840 --> 0:01:21.720 your last name? I love the way you describe that, 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:23.680 by the way, because it sounded like we're actually putting 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:26.360 together those broken hearts. Well, that's the way that appens. 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:29.440 That's the way you guys described the app. Um. So 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:31.399 I joined the app because I wanted to find out 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:34.000 more about this L. First of all, what's your last name? 0:01:34.000 --> 0:01:36.320 I'm just sorry, my last name is? What the how 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:39.960 do you say? What the what? What you got to 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:46.760 roll your art let that? Yeah said, I'm half Mexican, okay, 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:55.960 my dad is half and then I'm half I'm half white. 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:58.360 And I was like, should I go into I just 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:00.520 did my twenty three and me tell you I'm like 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:05.760 part British or German. Um. Well, I wanted because I 0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:07.080 wanted to know your last name, so I didn't just 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:10.440 introduce to you as L. Yeah. Usually people say where to, 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:13.280 like like where too, but with an a a little 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:16.320 bit easier, So L where To? You created this app 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:19.040 and it is called mend. Can you tell us a 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:24.000 little bit about it. Yeah, I really built what I 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:26.960 needed and wanted when I was going through a breakup myself. 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:28.919 So it's very much like a best friend that's guiding 0:02:28.919 --> 0:02:32.320 you through a breakup. If if your best friend had 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:35.640 good advice and UM didn't get sick of hearing you 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:39.560 talk about your breakup. UM. It's it's like a personal trainer. 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:42.160 So every day you check in UM and we deliver 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:44.680 an audio training that's personalized to you based on what 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:48.120 we know about you and what we know about your breakup. UM. 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:50.800 And it's kind of like this ongoing podcast that helps 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:54.560 you mend throughout your breakup and then also beyond. So 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:57.800 you created this after you went through a breakup yourself. Yeah, 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:00.880 it's been a bit of a journey because I first 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:04.200 launched a newsletter with breakup content, and then I launched 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:07.519 a breakup website like a blog, and then it was 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:09.960 really through that whole experience that I had the idea 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:12.400 for the app UM. So it's been a while since 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:15.720 that first that first breakup that that sparked. So what 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:18.560 was different between the app and like the app that 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:20.960 you have now and the website you had before? Yeah, 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:22.760 I mean that was just like a learning curve and 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:24.800 then you finally kind of perfected what you wanted. And 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:27.040 that's what MEN is all about. Well, the website was 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:29.000 really a blog, so it was a place where we 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:32.960 curated stories UM and I was curating advice from experts. 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:36.880 The app is much more like UH an interactive experience. 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:39.720 It really you know, if it feels conversational, you're actually 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:43.680 messaging UM and you know it was messaging you back. 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:46.760 So the app is a conversational UI. So it's not 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:50.040 a person UM, but it feels like you're messaging with 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:52.280 a person. So we ask you every day how you're doing. 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:55.280 We send you a training to listen to, We ask 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:57.360 you to rate the training, We ask you, you know, 0:03:57.440 --> 0:04:00.000 questions about your breakup to help us personalize your training 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:03.560 program UM. So it feels sort of like a best 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:06.720 friend guiding you through the experience, which for us was 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:08.520 important because one of the things that we kept hearing 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:10.880 from people who are using our our website was that 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:14.000 they really missed UM, you know, just hearing from their 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:15.400 X throughout the day. That's one of the things you 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:18.160 missed the most, right, Like you're texting with someone all 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:20.520 day long and then yeah, and then all of a sudden, 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:24.920 it's just you know, radio silent. So um, so yeah, 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:28.000 that's why we we wanted to build a conversational app. 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:31.280 Is very black, is a little bit well, it's not like, 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:34.400 it's not like a series, it's not AI, but two people. 0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:36.400 I feel like they cant to develop an attachment to 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:40.159 the UI. It reminds me a little bit of that movie, 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:46.120 Oh Her Phoenix. That's exactly what I was thinking, you know. 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:49.560 I think because um, because the user experience is very 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:51.680 voice based, so it's actually my voice in the app. 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:56.920 I think people, well, thank you, um. But I think 0:04:56.960 --> 0:05:00.279 people get attached to that. But it's not any different 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:02.160 from people who are attached to listening to your podcast, 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:04.040 you know. I think it's especially when you're going through 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:06.360 a breakup. There's something really nice about hearing a human 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:08.640 voice on the other end giving you advice versus just 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:11.680 reading something on a website. I think this is a genius. 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:13.400 When did this start? By the way, because I wish 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:15.640 I knew this because I'm like the worst when it 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:18.120 comes to breakup. So when did this? Um, when did 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:20.960 you launched this app? So we launched the app last 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:25.279 year in April. Um, so we just celebrated our first anniversary. 0:05:26.040 --> 0:05:29.280 Thank you. Yeah, it's been an amazing year. I think 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:31.120 this is great because, like you said, it's like a 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:33.480 digital best friend, and sometimes it could get a little 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:37.040 bit emotionally draining. I can talk for myself, UM, I 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:40.960 do like to maybe replay, you know, scenarios in my 0:05:41.000 --> 0:05:42.960 head and maybe you know, you have all those stages 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:45.640 that you go through. And I talk, you know, talk 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:48.240 to my family my friends a lot about UM, the 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:51.120 relationship during the breakup, and I know I could get 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:54.360 emotionally draining on their end, and sometimes they're like, Okay, 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:56.040 I don't want to hear it anymore. I think this 0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:58.760 is a great idea because it's another outlet for people 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:01.159 to use and the party to write. So it's not 0:06:01.279 --> 0:06:02.960 like your best friend telling you things that you may 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:05.719 want to hear to think that you should be you know, 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:09.839 you should be hearing from um, from your friends and family. Yeah. 0:06:09.880 --> 0:06:11.559 I think for better or worse, A lot of times 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:15.520 when you're getting advice from from people, they're projecting their 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:19.479 own relationship history or their own ideas or opinions. UM. 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:22.560 So you know, even though I'm the person reading the trainings. 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:25.280 All of our trainings are created by experts, whether it's 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:29.400 wellness experts or mental health experts. And so would you 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:33.039 consider yourself an expert? I would yeah. I mean I've 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:36.040 been curating this type of content for years now, and 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:39.359 it started as a real passion project. Um. I felt 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:41.880 like there wasn't a great place for high quality advice 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:44.599 online when it came to breakups, Like I remember the 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:47.120 moment at two am when I was googling breakup advice 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:49.880 on my phone and just getting all of these terrible 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:54.240 like message like online forums and just awful advice and 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:56.360 a lot of cliche advice. So I felt like there 0:06:56.400 --> 0:07:00.160 was a white space for that type of content. Um, 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:02.720 And I've just become so passionate about it and I'm 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:05.719 steeped in it every day. Well, I joined MEN. I 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:07.760 created an account because I wanted to figure this thing 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:10.640 out for myself. So when Susi walked into studio, I 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:13.840 was like, I know that voice, that voice, and then 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:16.320 I realized you were the voice on MEN. So I 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:19.160 created it. Uh So, I'm happily engaged, but I wanted 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:21.160 to thank you so much now you also, so I 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.920 created it my profile as a single person to figure 0:07:23.960 --> 0:07:26.240 out what the app is all about to help somebody 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:28.800 who's going through a breakup. But you say that there 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:31.920 are people on this app that are actually in relationships. 0:07:31.920 --> 0:07:35.120 So why are people within relationships joining an app that 0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:39.000 is created to men to broken heart? Yeah? It was UM. 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:41.200 It was a surprise to us too when we first launched. 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:42.680 So one of the questions we ask is what is 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:46.520 your relationship status? UM? And we've we've seen that there 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:47.960 are a lot of people who are joining men who 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:51.360 are married or in relationships. UM. I think it gets 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:54.240 it something that is very universal, which is that relationships 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:57.560 are challenging, you know, even the really wonderful ones. And 0:07:57.560 --> 0:07:59.120 so I think, you know, we have a lot of 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:02.840 people who use mend um to get through a rocky period, 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:05.720 like a rocky patch in a relationship. We have people 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:08.440 who are thinking that maybe the relationship isn't right for 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:10.360 them and they need support as they go through that 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:14.240 process and figure out what the next step is. UM. 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:17.120 And do you guys give relationship advice? For example, if 0:08:17.120 --> 0:08:20.080 somebody goes on there and they're texting and saying, I'm 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:23.240 going through a rough patch with my you know, significant other, 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:24.720 but I want to be with them. How do I 0:08:24.800 --> 0:08:27.800 fix this? Do you guys give feedback on that? So 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:32.320 we aren't actually having a conversation with you, but um, 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:35.319 we do get your input. So we ask questions throughout 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:38.120 the process about you, about your breakup, and then every 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:41.120 week you choose three to four themes that you really 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:44.720 want to focus on. So if you're there, like for you, 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:48.040 if you want to focus on just healthy relationship habits, um, 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:50.240 you can do that. You don't have to focus on 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:54.079 you know, X trainings or heartbreak trainings or breakup trainings um. 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:56.120 And that's something that's a little bit newer for us, 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:58.880 and we we wanted to expand into that because it 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:01.360 was one of our top requests. Yeah, totally no. When 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:03.559 I say feedback, though, I don't mean because I know 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:07.320 that when I'm actually text messaging, I'm text messaging with 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:10.960 a robot. How would you describe it? Appre texting, I'm 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:13.199 texting with the app And I understand that. But it 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:15.880 is pretty cool because I saw on the website about 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:19.320 how this is better than sending a drunk text to 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:24.160 your ass and that that's exactly what I was thinking too. 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:26.319 This is like the perfect way to like keep your 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:28.960 to keep your dignity in chech you know, because like 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:34.040 you said, like most people missed hearing from their from 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:37.280 their significant other, you know, so this is like a 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:39.400 great way to like message the app kind of like 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:44.160 I guess they send out reminders do you send out Yeah, 0:09:44.200 --> 0:09:47.600 we send out a lot of reminders and um, you 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:50.959 guys send out daily text. Yeah, they're not all app specifics, 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:52.720 so a lot of them are just you know, little 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:56.200 notes throughout the day, encouragement, motivation, you can do it 0:09:56.280 --> 0:09:59.600 like yeah, And it's funny because we have a really 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:04.000 high often right for they're called push notifications, um, which 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.800 means that people really like them. And I think it 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:09.160 just goes back to the idea that you really you 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:13.000 miss that from you know, your ax. Oh totally. I 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:14.679 think the only thing from the app for me when 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:18.640 I was creating an account was the lack of, um, 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:23.120 how do I put this human interaction? But I will 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:25.440 say so I got to the end of it after 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:27.199 all the questions and kind of texting with the app 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.439 back and forth, and at the end of it, whatever 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:33.200 you guys, deem is the best uh fit for a 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:35.960 little monologue that you give at the end. Yeah, I 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:38.560 like that monologue. I haven't heard that yet. Yeah, it is. 0:10:38.600 --> 0:10:40.360 It's about a three So you get through all the 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:42.480 questions that they ask you about what your breakup is, 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:44.520 how you're doing, so on and so forth, and then 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:47.560 at the end L comes on with about a four 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:51.440 minute little monologue that she just goes into trying to 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:54.280 help you get through whatever broken heart you're trying to 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:59.640 get past. It is. Yeah, So we have a huge 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:04.040 lie barry of trainings and we we personalize your training 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:06.439 program so, um, you know, if you went through a 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:09.560 breakup because of infidelity, you're going to get a set 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:12.480 of trainings that someone who went through a commitment breakup 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:15.079 wouldn't necessarily death. And that's what I enjoyed about the 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:16.599 app is that because there is, like you said, a 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:18.559 lot of cliches out there and a lot of very 0:11:18.920 --> 0:11:22.320 vague sayings that people try to exactly like just get 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:25.400 over it exactly, you know, or like just be the 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.200 best you you can be, and which are all fun 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:32.720 and great. Well, I got I've created a profile for 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:35.360 somebody who's single who got broken up with two months 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:39.120 ago because of distance. I think I put um so 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:41.800 because I wanted to create something that a profile for 0:11:41.840 --> 0:11:43.760 somebody that was maybe going through a breakup currently and 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:45.800 trying to mend a broken heart, because that's what the 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:47.600 app is all about. But having said that, the app 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:49.679 is more than that, which I do really like. And 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:52.800 for me, while there wasn't that much human interaction throughout 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:55.440 the text, as soon as your voice came on, it 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:58.800 was very comforting and I didn't realize that I had 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:02.319 get that much comfort, just a formative monologue of saying, Hey, 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.440 it's gonna be okay, We're here for you, and that 0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:07.960 was the really nice part of the app. Yeah, that 0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:09.920 I thought was a really nice touch because when I 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:12.920 google how to get Over a breakup? There isn't there's 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:16.240 no human interaction, but with this app, there is, and 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:18.560 that's the big difference, and it is personalized for each 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:21.840 person going through different circumstances. Unlike when you just google 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:24.280 how do I Get over a breakup? There's so many 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:28.760 different answers out there for this, it is for somebody 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:32.959 going through a very specific type of breakup. Okay, well, 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:35.480 since since we're on the topic of let's say a 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:38.600 long distance or instelity, since those are two topics you 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:42.480 guys brought up, what are some important things to successfully 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:44.960 get through a breakup like that. What kind of advice 0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:49.040 would someone like that fine on the app? Mmm, well 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:53.400 those are two really different types of breakups. But I 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:56.200 would say so infidelity is one of the most common 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:59.280 breakup reasons for vendors. So I think the last time 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:02.199 I looked at still ranked number two. What's number one? 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:06.679 Number one is commitment? UM. Not surprising for our generation. 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:12.560 Everyone from everyone app pretty much. So we actually have 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:15.480 users in over a hundred and sixty countries, So I 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:19.400 think it's a global trend. UM. I do think for me, 0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:24.440 I think it just speaks to UM kind of the 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:27.880 age group of our of our audience, which is, you know, 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:30.520 mostly millennial, and I think that there's so much access 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:34.800 to new relationships UM that it does take more I think, 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:37.720 to commit than it than it maybe did in the past. UM. 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:40.920 But when it comes to infidelity, we have a lot 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:44.520 of trainings on infidelity. UM. I would say trust. We 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:46.680 have a lot of trainings on rebuilding trust. But I 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:49.800 think one of the most fundamental things that we really 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:53.160 try to impress upon people is that even though it 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:59.400 feels so personal, you can't take UM infidelity personally. UM. 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:01.960 So you can't see it as a reflection on your 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:05.400 own worth or your hard It's so hard and so 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:07.880 it's not something that you listen to one three minute 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:10.319 training and you feel better. But that's the whole point 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:12.360 of men, is that you know it's a it's a 0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:14.880 long term companion. You're you're checking in every day, You're 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:17.520 getting a training every day, and you're slowly building towards 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:21.440 towards something. So you guys are like personal trainers, because 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:23.600 that's what the New York Times called you, which is 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:26.480 quite impressive, I must say, do you find that accurate? 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:29.280 Would you consider yourself like a personal trainer? With love 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:33.120 or broken hearts? Absolutely? You know. I just saw have 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:37.520 you guys seen the Fred Rogers documentary? Okay, well, so 0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:41.000 there's a documentary on him, and um he says. One 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:42.760 of the things that he says that I loved, Isn't 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:48.680 it is Fred Rogers? Mr Rogers? Okay, Okay, I was 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:50.520 going to say, I was like Fred Rogers? Who the 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:54.000 hell is that? Okay? Mr Rogers? Aging myself? I think 0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:59.720 I am the oldest one. Two Rogers I used to 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:01.720 watch is Rogers? Oh yeah, of course. Won't you be 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:06.880 my neighbor? True fans also know his first name. But anyways, 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:08.840 in this documentary, one of the things that you said 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:11.400 is that love is at the root of everything, either 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:14.160 love or the lack of it. And I really believe that, 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:17.120 and so yes, I consider us, you know, personal trainers 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:21.239 for heartbreak. Um. I think that there's so many other areas, 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:23.200 like when it comes to finances, you get like a 0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:25.800 financial planner, and when it comes to fitness sometimes you 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:29.160 get a personal trainer. Um And why not have that 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:31.400 for one of the most core parts of who you 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:35.040 are as a person? Your heart? Yeah? I totally agree. 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:38.440 Um So, I have a quick question to you talk 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:41.280 about training that you go through on the app. Yeah, 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:42.880 do you have any type of couples training or is 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:46.120 this specific for one person going through one circumstance. That 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:50.760 is a great question. Um. So, we we are very 0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:54.400 focused on the individual who's using men um So, we're 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:58.000 really focused on helping you through your your breakup experience 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:00.320 and then also helping you develop the relation and ship 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:03.000 that you have with yourself, which really does set the 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:05.880 foundation for the relationship you have with other people. But 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:08.640 we are really focused on just that one person. But 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:11.280 we do have people who are in couples who use 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:15.120 men at the same time. So because al right, so 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:17.120 at the end of when I signed up for the profile, 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:20.080 at the end there's a journal. Yeah. Now when you 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:22.720 when I write into the journal, is the app responding 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:24.280 or do you guys go through that at all and 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:27.400 kind of read some you know, the journals are encrypted, 0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:31.680 they're private, so nobody can read the journals except for 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.560 yourself whoever is writing it exactly. Yeah, so no one 0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:37.040 on our team can not even our engineers can read it. 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:39.040 And that that was really important to me because I 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:43.640 felt like, um, you know, writing is very therapeutic, um, 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:46.280 but it's also something it's very private, and so we 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:49.040 wanted to keep that private for people. It's funny because 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:50.880 we have some people who write in and they ask us, 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:52.960 you know, can we pay extra for you to read 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:55.280 the journal and give us more advice? Um, But I 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.040 think it's just kind of a slippery slope. I think 0:16:57.080 --> 0:16:59.720 the majority of people really see that as a safe 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:02.440 space where they can express whatever they're feeling and not 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:09.399 be worried about reading. Yeah. Yeah, so every day you journal, um, 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:11.800 which you know, a lot of the a lot of 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.040 research has been done. Then it's really helpful to journal 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:17.240 and check in daily UM when you're going through a breakup. 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:20.520 But the progress tracking is really around UM a couple 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:22.960 of metrics in the app. So we have we tracked 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:24.880 two things. When you're going through a breakup, we track 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:29.560 days since X contact UM and then we track yeah, 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.720 last X contact and then we track days since breakup. 0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.679 And you have the ability to actually hide those if 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.000 you don't want to track it UM. But I think 0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:40.199 the X contact one is really important. It's one of 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:43.600 our most used features, and we in our community actually 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:47.240 people will share UM their count and share that milestone 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:49.199 like every week, like, hey, guys, you know it's been 0:17:49.240 --> 0:17:52.600 sixty days, the hardest sixty days of my life, but UM, 0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:54.080 you know I'm doing it one day at a time. 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:55.720 Do you think you should cut off communication with an 0:17:55.880 --> 0:17:59.600 x UM? I So one of the things that I 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:02.800 love about what we do is that we personalize our advice. 0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:06.240 But I will yeah, in general, that is one of 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:09.040 the things that I do really stand by with men, 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:11.720 but also personally, I don't think that you have to 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.960 cut someone out forever. I think it is really important 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.320 and research backs this up that if you're trying to 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:20.200 move forward you need to have some buffer room to recalibrate. 0:18:20.520 --> 0:18:23.160 And it goes to the fact that UM, so much 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:27.440 of a relationship is hormonal and neurochemical and if you UM, 0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:31.159 if you stay connected to your ex, you're still exchanging 0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:35.160 all of this hormonal feedback with them and UM it's 0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:38.280 very much like an addiction. So the only way that 0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:41.159 you will UM, you know, eventually be able to be 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:44.720 friends with them, UM or have any type of relationship 0:18:44.760 --> 0:18:47.159 down the line with them is if you kind of 0:18:47.200 --> 0:18:52.000 take a break and break that chemical bond UM and UH. 0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:54.280 It's something that Helen Fisher has studied a lot. Who's 0:18:54.359 --> 0:18:56.840 Who's one of the experts on love UM, but she 0:18:57.000 --> 0:19:00.240 recommended about sixty days what you need to get through 0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:03.040 that hump that like withdrawal period. And it really feels 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:05.520 like withdrawal. I'm sure you guys have experienced that before, 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:08.840 but it is like, yeah, well that's what I was saying. 0:19:08.840 --> 0:19:11.280 This app is kind of like whenever you have that 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:14.600 orde where you wake up I finally like the after breakup. UM. 0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:16.040 I don't know if you guys th relate to this. 0:19:16.240 --> 0:19:19.880 The morning are the worst because you're waking up, like 0:19:20.200 --> 0:19:22.359 you check your phone and you kind of have some 0:19:22.560 --> 0:19:25.280 sort of expectation that they would have emailed you or 0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:27.320 texted you, or you would have had like a miscall 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:32.879 from them the next day, you know, and yeah, like, no, 0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:35.000 they did not think of me during the night or 0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:37.359 last night or this morning, and they haven't messaged me. 0:19:38.160 --> 0:19:40.000 Kind of like start off your day with that expectation. 0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:42.560 I'm like, Okay, well, you know, maybe I'll hear from 0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:45.000 them throughout the day. So I think that app is great. Um, 0:19:45.200 --> 0:19:48.000 Like I said, to keep this dignity to UM, I 0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:51.000 have a question, how does one I guess, for lack 0:19:51.040 --> 0:19:53.600 of a better term, graduate from this aspect? How does 0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:59.680 how do you, um, how do you succeed uh like 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:03.400 the break up? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. 0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:05.840 I mean I think it's different for everyone. Every heartbreak 0:20:05.880 --> 0:20:07.720 is so unique. But one of the things that we 0:20:07.720 --> 0:20:11.800 see happen when people are kind of beyond that really acute, 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:15.600 painful heartbreak phase is that they change which milestones they're tracking. 0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:18.840 So instead of tracking day since X contact day since breakup, 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:22.480