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Speaker 1: Motherfucking Mini e a Sel Mini episode. Motherfucking Mini e a.

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Speaker 2: Sel Meet me at the Altar and your White dress.

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Speaker 2: Will Mama's and gentiles alike, Welcome to another brand new

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Speaker 2: episode of My Mama Told Me.

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Speaker 3: The podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets

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Speaker 3: of black conspiracy theories.

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Speaker 2: And we finally worked to prove the conspiracies of you

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Speaker 2: the LISTENERSO come Little Mamas themselves. Will Mamas and listeners

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Speaker 2: are like, what happened to Jacket Edge?

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Speaker 3: Oh man, that's a great question. They were fascinating because

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Speaker 3: they had two twins. They had twins in there, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and they were twins that dressed alike. But then they

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Speaker 3: made their other friends dressed like them.

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Speaker 2: It was wild. It was also the end of men

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Speaker 2: dancing in a group in a way that was like

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Speaker 2: is you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: I feel like they kind of helped liaison the end

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Speaker 3: because they were they they different than like A one

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Speaker 3: twelve and like some of the others that were out

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Speaker 3: at that time didn't really dance like that.

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Speaker 2: They they they kind of like a yeah.

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Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. Like Jack, like Jagget Edge kind

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Speaker 3: of just held the wall and looked cool, whereas like

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Speaker 3: fucking you know what I mean, some of the ones

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Speaker 3: before them would.

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Speaker 2: Dance dance right, right, right right.

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Speaker 3: Like one twelve was doing choreographed dance with four grown men.

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Speaker 3: And then fucking Jagged Edge was just like sitting on

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Speaker 3: a car and yeah and being like, what's up?

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Speaker 2: Traded all. I don't even know most of the Jagged.

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Speaker 3: Edge songs traded all as one meet me at the altar,

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Speaker 3: that joint all that that album was good.

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Speaker 2: They had one.

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Speaker 3: They had one real fucking good album, the one where

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Speaker 3: in black and white there on the piano. Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 3: that was great. I don't know that the follow ups

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Speaker 3: and and stuff that came later is as legendary.

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Speaker 2: Is that one? Well, that's okay. They gave us one,

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Speaker 2: and for that we can be thankful.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I don't think many groups actually give you that many

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Speaker 3: more than one.

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Speaker 2: All I need is one something.

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Speaker 3: I I'm a big fan of genuine off of two albums?

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Speaker 2: Does are there more? Does he have more than two albums?

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Speaker 3: I think yeah, it's like probably like seven or eight.

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Speaker 2: What's the first one?

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Speaker 3: And then I think there might be one before if

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Speaker 3: I'm not mistaken, But I could be wrong.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what was the one that had in those genes?

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Speaker 3: I think that's the one after that same old Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and no, I let's look it up. Let's not yeah,

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Speaker 3: let's not mess around and get people mad at us.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to fuck up elgin lupkins.

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Speaker 3: I listen, people are gonna get real upset with us

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Speaker 3: if we fuck up old genuine discography. So let's let's

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Speaker 3: make sure we get this right. Genuine The Bachelor came

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Speaker 3: out in ninety six, okay, and then that was the

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Speaker 3: first album, which was a very good album. Ye, Genuine

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Speaker 3: is a masterpiece, that is That's okay, that's where he

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Speaker 3: had it. He ain't gonna lose it. Well, that was

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Speaker 3: when that nigga was.

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Speaker 2: Uh okay, So that's what's so different. So anxious, I

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Speaker 2: mean friends business.

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Speaker 3: He moonwalked sideways before Usher, and we don't talk about

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Speaker 3: it enough.

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Speaker 2: I don't, man, he did, I don't know if he did.

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Speaker 2: He did? He did? You genuine ushered sideways moonwalked and

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Speaker 2: you make me.

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Speaker 3: Wanna, Yes, he sideways moonwalked, and you make me want

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Speaker 3: to But but Genuine was doing that shit with the

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Speaker 3: fucking broom.

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Speaker 2: He was sideways moonwalking. What year is that though, it's

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Speaker 2: what I'm saying. I think it was ninety six. In

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Speaker 2: The Bachelor he was doing that. I think so I could.

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Speaker 2: The Bachelor did have pony on it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think he was doing some pretty wild ship.

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Speaker 3: Because now we think we laugh at Genuine, but we

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Speaker 3: forget that this motherfucker was.

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Speaker 2: He was the king of dance for the nineties. Before

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Speaker 2: he was a trenny uncle in a giant head, he

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Speaker 2: was the king.

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Speaker 3: We were like, that's the sexiest man that's ever walked

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Speaker 3: the earth. That's the greatest dancer that's ever walked the earth.

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Speaker 3: Come on, man, we really believed in Genuine and we've

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Speaker 3: changed our minds as a as a community. And I

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Speaker 3: don't know if that's fair. Yeah damn well, that guy

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Speaker 3: I love Genuine, that said sag.

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Speaker 2: We didn't come here to talk about Genuine. We did not.

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Speaker 2: We came here to talk to about are you will

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Speaker 2: be one of the most controversial He told me, Right, I.

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Speaker 3: Mean, I thought you were going to say one of

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Speaker 3: the most controversial individuals we've we've encountered via this podcast.

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Speaker 2: I I hesitate that because we still don't know if

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Speaker 2: it is an individual or if it is some type

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Speaker 2: of conglomerate, it might be a situation.

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Speaker 3: Sure that this very well could be the Illuminati contacting

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Speaker 3: us via this individual sort of face fake.

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Speaker 2: It's a fake, exactly exactly. I mean, you know him,

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Speaker 2: you love him. We're here, we've got another email. Carlos

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Speaker 2: xis back, baby.

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Speaker 3: And if you're a Carlos X fan out there, shout

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Speaker 3: out to them ex heads, the expats, let's call him

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Speaker 3: the expat.

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Speaker 2: I like the expats a lot. Shout out to all

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Speaker 2: the expats.

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Speaker 3: Uh, Carlos exes back and and he's he's as fine

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Speaker 3: as he's ever been.

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Speaker 2: You want to read the emails, let's just get to it. Oh,

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Speaker 2: I cannot wait. I'm son, and you haven't because I

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Speaker 2: know it's contained. You haven't heard any of this.

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Speaker 3: I haven't read anything.

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Speaker 2: No, all right, here we go. So from Carlo sex

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Speaker 2: subject line, time to decide. Whoa it's time time, baby? Yea, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're wrong. Well, lang as I told you I have

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Speaker 2: some damage information about you and your comrade. So hear

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Speaker 2: what's going to happen?

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Speaker 4: I love this, I'm reading it, Ezra, go ahead, So here, what's.

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Speaker 2: Going to happen? Oh, I'm sorry, I fucked it up

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Speaker 2: and says, so here, what going happened? You're going to

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Speaker 2: go on the air and issue a formal apology to me,

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Speaker 2: and then you are going to make me a member

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Speaker 2: of your board of director whoa.

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Speaker 3: Not the board.

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Speaker 2: You're going to break your book contract and I don't

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Speaker 2: care if they paid you already. If you don't, I

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Speaker 2: will release all the dirt I have on you. Oh

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Speaker 2: no o, it's about to get ready, bro. I can't

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Speaker 2: give up a board seat. I'm literally using.

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Speaker 3: That to get out of some political troubles I've gotten

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Speaker 3: myself into that.

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Speaker 2: Olivia says to us in all caps, Bitch, I'm not

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Speaker 2: even on the board.

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Speaker 3: Of my board of directors. Fuck he gets a whole

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Speaker 3: seat on the board, he gets ruined.

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Speaker 2: And also, you have to break your book contracts.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, but they're paying me so much for

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Speaker 3: this book.

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Speaker 2: That's how you make most of your money. I know

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Speaker 2: that as an author. As an author, I've been writing

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Speaker 2: books this whole time. You've been ghostwriting for Terry mcmillansince

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Speaker 2: the nineties. That's my whole stick. That's my thing.

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Speaker 3: This, this entertainment thing is a ruse. I work hard

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Speaker 3: every day reading and writing. They don't Carlos, please reconsider.

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Speaker 2: You in the gym. All right, you ready, Here's where

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Speaker 2: it starts to go crazy. Uh oh you see Lang

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Speaker 2: or should I call you Jarrott or Jesse?

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Speaker 3: Well, he said as if because if he had, like

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Speaker 3: my secret real name. But it's just fake names from

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Speaker 3: shows I've been in misspelled. Okay, fuck yeah.

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Speaker 2: I didn't even realize that that was. That's so much fun.

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Speaker 3: That was meant to be Jared and Jesse. I guess

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Speaker 3: of the other black girl. But he spells it j

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Speaker 3: E s s Y, which I don't believe is anywhere

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Speaker 3: close to how it's to be honest.

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Speaker 2: You shouldn't end be ending anything in ss y. We

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Speaker 2: spelled like carrot of diamond fame. It's what a silly guy. See.

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Speaker 2: I know all about your quote unquote secret lifestyle and

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Speaker 2: your aka's. I hired the all caps and quotes best

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Speaker 2: quote research investigator end quote there is, and they gave

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Speaker 2: me evidence that you pretend to be a guy named

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Speaker 2: Jared now spell correctly.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, he's back, all right, and meet other men

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Speaker 4: for all caps quotes gay oh no activity, and that

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Speaker 4: you also use another alias name Jesse fun I have

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Speaker 4: made a deal with the quote unquote white power structure

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Speaker 4: to do exactly what you do on your show, but

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Speaker 4: in the form of a book.

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Speaker 2: WHOA Come on.

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Speaker 3: This is so crazy because what he's saying is is

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Speaker 3: that he has hired the best researcher in the world. Presumably,

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Speaker 3: I don't think that he's saying just in his local neighborhood.

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Speaker 3: This is in the world, the finest researcher in the world,

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Speaker 3: who then reported back to him that I behave identical

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Speaker 3: to all of the characters that he's accusing me of

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Speaker 3: playing on television, that I am both in the closet

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Speaker 3: and although my character wasn't in the closet, he's saying,

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Speaker 3: I personally am in the closet.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he was out.

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Speaker 3: He was pretty open about just having had a bisexual

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Speaker 3: experience explored in some form. But he's saying I am

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Speaker 3: not just exploring. I'm keeping a secret from my family

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Speaker 3: where I pretend to be Jared and go and have

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Speaker 3: sex with men, and then afterwards I go and pretend

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Speaker 3: to be Jesse, where I service the white man's progress

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Speaker 3: and the detriment at the detriment of.

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Speaker 2: My own community and you're gonna now synthesize all that

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Speaker 2: into a book. Fuck all, he got you, he got me,

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Speaker 2: he got you cooked. I'm fucking cooked. We all know

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Speaker 2: white people don't listen to your show. Based on the

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Speaker 2: live shows. I think that's pretty untrue. But yeah, especially

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Speaker 2: Denver and Austin. But they quote unquote love to read.

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Speaker 2: Some books. Got you there, white people. So you think

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Speaker 2: writing a book to slanders some of the quotes jewels

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Speaker 2: of the black community will get you on the level

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Speaker 2: of Candy Owens and first of all, shortened to Candy

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Speaker 2: is wild.

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Speaker 3: Candy Owens, you got time for ass o.

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Speaker 2: Candy Owens sounds something like such a nicer lady, just

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Speaker 2: a sweet, sweet older Southern gas and that she is,

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Speaker 2: she's a bitch. We'll get you on the level of

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Speaker 2: Candy Owens. And quote unquote politics with Fox Newspeople, Well, guess.

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Speaker 3: What, come on, Carlos, You gotta try harder, man, You

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Speaker 3: gotta try harder if you're gonna threaten you got it.

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Speaker 3: It takes me out of the character.

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Speaker 2: When when you misspell stuff so dramatically. But well, guess what,

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Speaker 2: there's no way I'm going to let that happen. Dramatic pause,

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Speaker 2: new paragraph. And to say that, otherwise you would know

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Speaker 2: that it's wrong. And as far as your quote unquote

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Speaker 2: African partner in crime, oh your back, baby, my quote

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Speaker 2: unquote legal invest to get I guess that's how you

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Speaker 2: do it. Yes, that about him, and that he is

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Speaker 2: the one that actually pulled your quote unquote puppet stream.

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Speaker 2: I'm the I'm the one behind it. Bro, You're Dick Cheney.

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Speaker 2: I'm Cheney. I'm an shoot you when we go hunting

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Speaker 2: for Pezan. Fuck.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're you're Dick Jenny Man, You're you're out here.

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Speaker 3: You're the reason the Iraq War happens.

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Speaker 2: But then some shoes thrown at me. Man, I'm a

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Speaker 2: po fuck. And what you're gonna say? What you gonna say?

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Speaker 2: What You're gonna call me a bad guy? Yeah? I'm

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Speaker 2: all protected. Baby. See. He revealed to me that this

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Speaker 2: nameless guy, oh you're doing this on purpose. Fuck that

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Speaker 2: this nameless guy, oh shit, is actually a white man

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Speaker 2: and a black man. Bory Ah Lot, Eddie Murphy and

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Speaker 2: the Clumps. I actually am one point four Jerian African.

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Speaker 5: I'm a sister yo, yo.

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Speaker 2: This is crazy.

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Speaker 3: First of all, everybody at home should know that he

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Speaker 3: misspelled allah, Eddie Murphy and the clumps. Not one of

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Speaker 3: those those three in succession was spelled correctly. But for

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Speaker 3: him to pull out the clumps as the reference of

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Speaker 3: the black face that you apparently have been wearing this entire.

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Speaker 2: Time, you're the clumps were black.

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Speaker 3: The clumps were black.

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Speaker 2: I and Eddie Murphy is black. That's a black man

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Speaker 2: dressing up like black people.

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Speaker 3: I think, if I'm not mistaken, there is a character

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Speaker 3: that Eddie Murphy plays as a white man at one point.

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Speaker 2: Oh, he does the Richard Simmons in the beginning of

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Speaker 2: the movie.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's what he suggests, is you are

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Speaker 3: white facing so well that you forget that that person

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Speaker 3: is not that person.

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Speaker 2: Damn, you think I would do a much better job.

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Speaker 3: Right that if you were here for the destruction of

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Speaker 3: the black community, as like you want to change.

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Speaker 2: If I was fucking dress you think I would have?

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Speaker 2: You don't think I would have done a fucking voice,

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Speaker 2: would bro This is a voice that I'm doing. That's

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Speaker 2: crazy you think you do. Don't expect me as an actor?

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Speaker 3: No, he thinks you would aim for me if you

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Speaker 3: were working towards the uh, the downfall of society that

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Speaker 3: I would be your target demo for for achieving something.

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Speaker 2: All right, he says, you see, that's how good my

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Speaker 2: people are. This fraudster thought no spell wrong, one would

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Speaker 2: figure it out. But my people can get dirt on anybody. Fuck.

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Speaker 2: You'll probably think, so what, there's no issue? You probably think,

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Speaker 2: so what? There's no issue with wearing a quote unquote

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Speaker 2: costume and talking quote unquote slanderous spelled wrong about people. Well,

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Speaker 2: what this dummy didn't realize is that he used a

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Speaker 2: first and last name that is identity fact. Now every

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Speaker 2: person name d A v I, D space, G space

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Speaker 2: b O r e y has a claim against him.

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Speaker 3: Fuck yeah, so god damn, there's so many people with

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Speaker 3: that name.

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Speaker 2: If it's a common name, everybody knows so many.

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Speaker 3: And also boris spelled the way that you spell it

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Speaker 3: with the ag space bo r e y.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not that it's not

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Speaker 2: confined to a tiny tribe in a tiny country and

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Speaker 2: a tiny section of West Africa. No, no, no, everybody,

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Speaker 2: every David G. Borie has a claim. Gold Rush out here.

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Speaker 2: I'm like a Verizon settlement. Just tap in, you get

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Speaker 2: your fuck man. So I expect to see my demands

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Speaker 2: met in the next thirty days or I will be

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Speaker 2: releasing this info to the world. God damn it.

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Speaker 3: Oh man, we got thirty days. And frankly, frankly, it

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Speaker 3: sounds like I have thirty days if the only demands

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Speaker 3: he made are of me to add him to my

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Speaker 3: border directors, and I guess yeah. Oh, and I have

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Speaker 3: to break my book contract even if they haven't paid.

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Speaker 2: Me, which is tough because I know you were really

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Speaker 2: excited about that book. It's a great fucking book, man.

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Speaker 3: And look, look, I know I'm saying some really bad

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Speaker 3: things about black people, as as this sort of black

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Speaker 3: plant inside of the community, but that doesn't change the

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Speaker 3: quality of the literature.

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Speaker 2: I mean, what can I say, I'm inside of a

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Speaker 2: suit all of the clumps.

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Speaker 3: Well, you you, you're the mastermind behind this, frank I'm

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Speaker 3: the puppeteer. Yeah, You've taught me everything that I know.

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Speaker 3: And I'm really just doing this because of your guidance.

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Speaker 3: So this book not coming to be actually affects both

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Speaker 3: of us pretty substantially.

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Speaker 2: And I mean, so just full disclosure. C I a

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Speaker 2: the CIA operation name for this Siah of this black ops.

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Speaker 2: But is my mama told me is Operation Geppetto And

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Speaker 2: yes I am, Yes, I am a part of it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Carlos, you got us again. Man, you really, yeah,

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Speaker 3: you really got our butts over the fire here and

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Speaker 3: we're not really sure what to do. But I just

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Speaker 3: want to again apologize to you. I I I try

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Speaker 3: my best every day to be a better person, and

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Speaker 3: this year, twenty twenty four, I think more than ever

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Speaker 3: it's important for me to really consider what it means

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Speaker 3: to be a good person. In Carlos, every time you

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Speaker 3: write us, you remind me that I have work to

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Speaker 3: do and I I'm sorry that we've hurt you, and

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Speaker 3: I hope that we can repair this relationship. And god

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Speaker 3: damn it, if you don't learn to spell, it's really.

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Speaker 2: Gonna have somebody else to proof readom.

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Speaker 3: Man, you gotta work harder on the spelling, big dog.

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Speaker 2: Because I understand. I'm an ideas guy too. And then

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Speaker 2: you know it gets ahead of you. Yeah, just type

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Speaker 2: it up. I'll put it into you know, spell checkers, Carlos.

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Speaker 2: When there's a red squiggly line underneath it, that's that's

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Speaker 2: that's it warning you. Yeah, that's not a sign of affirmation. No,

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Speaker 2: they're they're asked.

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Speaker 5: No, they're like, damn, damn. That's another good one. But

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Speaker 5: crazy with this letter, Carlos, slander is this nigga knows creek.

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Speaker 3: As it's warning you, Carlos, it's telling you that the

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Speaker 3: word is.

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Speaker 2: Misspelled, and you got to You gotta make a choice.

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Speaker 3: And I understand that sometimes the choice is hard, but colloquialism,

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Speaker 3: sometimes we choose to misspell. We say, hey, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to spell it the way that I choose to spell

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Speaker 3: it for familiarity and relationships and all of that.

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Speaker 2: Ship.

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Speaker 3: But when it's squiggly and you don't know why, maybe

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Speaker 3: taking a second look at it.

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Speaker 2: And I get it. The Wi Fi at the library

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Speaker 2: is patchy. Yep, it's coming in. Listen.

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Speaker 3: You've been on the computer for thirty minutes. It took

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Speaker 3: you a long time to type this letter.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're about to kick you out of the McDonald's place.

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Speaker 3: Your local library has strict rules about how long each

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Speaker 3: individual can stay on the computer for one single session.

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Speaker 2: And look, I know they caught you looking at porn

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Speaker 2: last time and they cut your minutes in a half.

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Speaker 3: Carlos, Carlos, you gotta stop looking at porn at the library.

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Speaker 3: Man that step one. First step one, stop looking at porn.

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Speaker 3: Step two, learn to spell that. Let's let's say that.

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Speaker 3: I think that's fair. I think you can look at porn, Carlos.

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Speaker 3: We're not trying to take porn from you. We are free,

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Speaker 3: free men. Evil men for sure, based on your description,

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Speaker 3: but we are free. But you gotta stop looking at

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Speaker 3: porn in public, specifically the library. But then after that,

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Speaker 3: really focus that porn energy into learning to at least spell.

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Speaker 3: I'd say fifty percent better than you already are good.

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Speaker 2: That would be huge. Some grammar couldn't hurt, but I

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Speaker 2: understand we got to crawl before we walk.

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Speaker 3: Let's just start with spelling, baby, all right, next letter,

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Speaker 3: we'll talk about grammar rules. I'll show up with some

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Speaker 3: of my old teacher literature and we'll get that shop dude.

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Speaker 2: We should we should meet him and teach him. We

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Speaker 2: got to teach him each one teacher.

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Speaker 4: If he doesn't guess what, Carlos, you're one, If he.

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Speaker 3: Doesn't immediately try to murder us with some weird shaped knife,

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Speaker 3: then we'll teach the boy to read.

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Speaker 2: Some kind of ancient tribal wood weapon. Well, I think

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Speaker 2: we did it. I think we did it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, fuck you Carlos as always, and Bory, you want

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Speaker 3: to tell the people where they can find you.

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Speaker 2: You can find me or the white man inside of me?

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Speaker 2: Cool guy jokes eighty seven on Instagram. I got all

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Speaker 2: my dates coming up on there and we'll see you

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00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 2: and about consuming from stand up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, go see Bori, dudes, stand up. I'll have some

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Speaker 3: dates coming up pretty soon. But as always, you can

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Speaker 3: follow me at Langston Kerrman on all platforms. If you

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Speaker 3: want merch, go to my mama told me merchcentral dot com.

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Speaker 3: Themshits is moving and we want you to buy more.

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00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 3: And uh, if you want to send us your own drops,

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00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 3: your own conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us

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Speaker 3: what race of person is hiding inside the white man?

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Speaker 3: Who's hiding inside David Borio, Oh, I'm like a Russian

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00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 3: nesting dog, Russian nesting doll of racist masterminds. Please send

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Speaker 3: that all to mymama pod at gmail dot com. We

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00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 3: would love to hear from you. Subscribe, like, follow the podcast,

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00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 3: do whatever you need to do, write a review, fuck it,

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Speaker 3: We'll take them all and that's the whole thing.

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Speaker 2: Bye bitch, motherfucking Minie a Self.

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Speaker 1: Mini Episode, Motherfucking Mini e a Sel, motherfucking Mini Yourself

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Speaker 1: Mini Episode, Motherfucking Mini The Ship and all the Things

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Speaker 1: wh