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Speaker 1: All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. It's just that simple, and we

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Speaker 1: could be reading your letter live on the air, just

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Speaker 1: like we're going to read this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 2: Buckle up and hold on tag and what we have here,

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Speaker 2: it's Strawberry Lenin.

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Speaker 3: You're stupid, Thank you, nephew.

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Speaker 1: Subjects he loves to mention his ex wife. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I'm married to my high school sweetheart, but we have

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Speaker 1: only been married for four years. After high school, we

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Speaker 1: went our separate ways and he was married for twenty

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Speaker 1: years and had three kids with his wife. I was

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Speaker 1: married for thirteen years and I got a divorce and

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Speaker 1: was raising my two children alone. When I reconnected with

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Speaker 1: my high school sweetheart, we blended our families and picked

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Speaker 1: right back up where we left off in high school.

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Speaker 1: We have lots in common and we share a lot

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Speaker 1: of old friends and memories. The only problem I'm having

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Speaker 1: in the marriage is when my husband mentions how his

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Speaker 1: ex wife did things and he compares me to her.

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Speaker 1: He makes sure he always gives me credit as being

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Speaker 1: better than his ex. But I need him to stop

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Speaker 1: mentioning her altogether. We were having a crab boil and

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Speaker 1: I peel the shrimp before adding them to the pot.

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Speaker 3: He told me he likes the shrimp peeled. He likes

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Speaker 3: the shrimp.

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Speaker 1: Peeled because Carol used to leave the shell on. I

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Speaker 1: don't need to know what Carol did with her shrimp.

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Speaker 1: It's annoying and hurtful, especially when he does it in

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Speaker 1: front of others. Some of his friends from his previous

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Speaker 1: marriage are now my friends too, and it's uncomfortable for

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Speaker 1: them if my husband mentions his ex wife in our conversation.

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Speaker 1: I get that he spent twenty years with a woman,

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Speaker 1: so he got used to how she did things, but

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Speaker 1: he and I need to get settled into our own

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Speaker 1: ways of doing things. He overheard me talking to my

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Speaker 1: son and I told him he's a spitting image of

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Speaker 1: his daddy. My husband later told me that it sounds

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Speaker 1: like I miss my ex husband. Why can't he understand

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Speaker 1: that's how I feel when he talks about his ex.

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Speaker 1: How can I get him to stop bringing up his

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Speaker 1: ex wife to me and others. Well, if I were petty,

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Speaker 1: you know, if I were like a petty and vindictive person,

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Speaker 1: I would just tell you to mention your ex every

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Speaker 1: time he mentioned Carol, his ex every time, and maybe

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Speaker 1: even in the bedroom, although I really wouldn't advise that one.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, you know, depends on how petty you

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Speaker 1: want to get here. Okay, gets patty, Petty, Betty, Petty, betty.

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Speaker 1: You know you can make a context out of it

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Speaker 1: to see who could mention them the most. Okay, But

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Speaker 1: I'm not petty betty, So I say explain it to

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Speaker 1: him in a rational, calm way. You could start with

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Speaker 1: something like, you know, remember when you overheard me talking

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Speaker 1: to my son, to our son about how much he

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Speaker 1: looks like his dad. Well, you told me, you know,

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Speaker 1: you said it sounded like I missed my ex. That's

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Speaker 1: what you said. But that wasn't the case, you know.

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Speaker 1: But guess what, I understand what you meant by that completely,

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Speaker 1: because every time you mentioned Carol, your ex, I feel

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Speaker 1: like you're comparing me to her, and I think you

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Speaker 1: do that a lot. You were with her for twenty years,

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Speaker 1: I get that, so you became accustomed to the way

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Speaker 1: she did things so much so that it seems like

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Speaker 1: you can't help mentioning it every chance you get, especially

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Speaker 1: when we're around our friends. At least I said that

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Speaker 1: to my son, our son in private, when it was

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Speaker 1: just the two of us and no one else. I'm

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Speaker 1: bringing all this up because I don't think you realize

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Speaker 1: how much you mentioned.

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Speaker 3: Carol, your ex to me. I mean, do you.

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Speaker 1: Understand how that makes me feel? You're talking to your

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Speaker 1: husband now, do you understand that? And I hope that's

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Speaker 1: what it is, that you just don't really get or

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Speaker 1: realize what you're doing, and not the fact that you

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Speaker 1: miss her like you accuse me of missing my ex.

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Speaker 1: So I'm you know. I'm saying all this to say, please,

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Speaker 1: let's be mindful. Let's be conscientious of what we say

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Speaker 1: to each other and how we say things, how we speak.

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Speaker 3: To each other. Please, we've been married for four years.

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Speaker 3: We want this to last a long time till.

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Speaker 1: Death, so it's not to cause anymore hurt feelings or misunderstandings.

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Speaker 1: We both have moved on. Remember, that's why we're together.

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Speaker 1: That's how we got together in the first place. Because

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Speaker 1: we've moved on, Let's leave the past in the past.

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Speaker 1: We have to do that, say something like that, Like

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Speaker 1: I said, in irrational calm manner, don't go tit for

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Speaker 1: tat with them, you know, unless you absolutely have to.

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Speaker 3: But I wouldn't do that. But just remind him.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he's you know, not thinking clearly enough, and you've

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Speaker 1: got to remind him. But if you need to get

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Speaker 1: Patty Girl gone and get Patty steeve.

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Speaker 2: See, well, little disagreement with you, Shelly Ah, This letter

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Speaker 2: don't call for all that.

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Speaker 3: I think so.

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Speaker 2: Beautiful response, well thought out, everything like that. Here's the

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Speaker 2: problem high school sweethearts. He was married for twenty years,

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Speaker 2: had three kids, he was married for thirteen, had two

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Speaker 2: y'all got back together, picked right back where we left off.

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Speaker 2: We got lots in commons. We share a lot of

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Speaker 2: old friends and memories. The only problem I'm having with

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Speaker 2: this marriage here is what the letter is about. Is

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Speaker 2: when my husband mentioned how his ex wife did things

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Speaker 2: and he compares me to her, I have one question

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Speaker 2: for him, why is she your ex? The fact that

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Speaker 2: he keeps mentioning her. We've got to dig into why

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Speaker 2: she is the ex because if you miss her and

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Speaker 2: you keep mentioning her, and you keeps comparing you to her.

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Speaker 2: Maybe he didn't won out, he just ended up out.

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Speaker 2: Maybe he's not mentioning her because he's just habit. Maybe

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Speaker 2: it's a longing. I don't know, but I have a

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Speaker 2: couple of ideas for you when we come back, because

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Speaker 2: this is crazy. Just keep mentioning her name. What's wrong

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Speaker 2: with you?

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Speaker 3: Carol?

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Speaker 2: Carol?

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Speaker 3: Part two of Steve's.

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Speaker 2: Told me like the shrimp peel Carol used to lead

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Speaker 2: the shells on.

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Speaker 1: Well that Part two of Steve's response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour, subject he loves to

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Speaker 1: mention his ex wife. We'll get back into it right

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Speaker 1: after this.

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Speaker 3: You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's Strawberry letters.

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Speaker 1: Subject he loves to mention his ex wife.

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Speaker 2: This man keep bringing up his ex wife to his

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Speaker 2: carried wife. Your husband mentioned how his ex wife did stuff,

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Speaker 2: and he compassed me to her. Now he makes sure

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Speaker 2: he gives you credit though, for being better than his ex.

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Speaker 2: But I need him to stop mentioning it. He all

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Speaker 2: together here was a good example. We having a crab

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Speaker 2: bare crab boil, excuse me having a crab boil. I

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Speaker 2: peeled the shrimp before adding them to the pot. He

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Speaker 2: told me he likes to shrimp peel because Carol used

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Speaker 2: to leave a shell on. I don't need to know

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Speaker 2: what Carol did. Okay, see, well here is just Sureley say,

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Speaker 2: get petty. I disagree with it, but he is a

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Speaker 2: free wom if you have to. He told me he

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Speaker 2: liked the shrimp pill because Carol used to leave it

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Speaker 2: on the shell. Then your response should be always liked

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Speaker 2: him off the shell. And that's why I figured you

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Speaker 2: would too.

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Speaker 3: That's petty sometimes, all right, Well, let me try it.

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Speaker 2: It's annoying it her for especially when he do it

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Speaker 2: in front of others. Some of his friends from the

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Speaker 2: previous marriage are now my friends too, and it's uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: for them. If my husband mentioned that his ex wife

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Speaker 2: and our conversation, it's uncomfortable for them. If he mentions

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Speaker 2: his ex wife and our conversation, Shirley said, mention yours too. Okay,

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Speaker 2: Shirley says something that the man would say about a

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Speaker 2: woman in a conversation with a group of friends, and

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Speaker 2: I'll give you her response.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's how you were in your hair. Oh I

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Speaker 3: like to better.

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Speaker 1: When Carol, Carol, when she wore a hair, she used

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Speaker 1: to have the bangs kind of swooped to the side.

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Speaker 2: Well, I wasn't my hair like call mama.

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Speaker 3: That's I'll go too. That's how I just started right there,

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Speaker 3: got to be Patty.

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Speaker 2: Try another one. Oh you got on those shoes.

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Speaker 3: Oh Carol used to wear red bottoms.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, I get some red red bottoms, but

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Speaker 2: you don't wear they don't come in your size. I

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Speaker 2: don't know who I insulted on that.

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Speaker 3: What you say.

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Speaker 2: You got too deep? Yeah, I don't know. I just

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Speaker 2: try to hurt somebody. Okay, Now who arem I? Shirley?

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Speaker 3: You're the husband who always compares his wife to wife.

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Speaker 2: Now you're doing the husband, and I'm showing her how

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Speaker 2: to come back. Okay, so you okay, now.

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Speaker 1: Go okay, yeah, so I'll just do the same one.

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Speaker 1: Those aren't red bottoms. Carol always wore red bottoms, my

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Speaker 1: ex Carol.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well Carol must have had more money because you're broke.

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Speaker 2: Ass I'm down here pay less.

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Speaker 1: You're supposed to bring in her ex husband? Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: what are these pancakes or waffles? Because when Carol cooked them.

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Speaker 1: I could always tell the difference.

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Speaker 2: Hall, It never made hell no difference what I did

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Speaker 2: because I was naked cooking both of them.

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Speaker 3: Okay, now you get your legs, ye.

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Speaker 2: Come on now I'm ready, Okay, all right, all.

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Speaker 1: Right, let's let's go see You want to go see

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Speaker 1: that a comedy. Harold and I always liked, you know, thrillers,

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Speaker 1: shoot them up, stuff like that, murder mysteries, gangster stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, me and Harold liked porno. So we're gonna watch

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Speaker 2: a little punk ass movie. You don Carroll, you watch me?

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Speaker 2: And Hale was in here doing table top.

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Speaker 3: Wow, have you gained a little weight?

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Speaker 1: Carol has that same outfit and she it fit her

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Speaker 1: really nicely.

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Speaker 3: You know, I like the way it fit her butt.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know, because Harold kept all my dresses on top

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Speaker 2: of my butt, so I don't even know.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know. Yeah, so I don't even know

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Speaker 2: if mine was fitting it. Now, you know, Hall so crazy.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's what kind of car you have, because you

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Speaker 1: know Harold, you know he had a g wagon.

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Speaker 3: Carol, I mean, Carol had a wagon, thank you, cal.

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Speaker 2: Hal Hal had a herse.

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Speaker 3: Don't you forget it?

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Speaker 2: Shot. He was doing me so hard, he was killing me.

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Speaker 2: I just crawled up in the back and he drive

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Speaker 2: me to work.

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Speaker 1: So oh so we're going on vacation, honey after COVID okay,

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Speaker 1: oh uncommercial. Oh we always went on private, but okay,

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Speaker 1: we must go commercial.

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Speaker 3: She knew pilots and everything. Oh Carol did well.

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Speaker 2: Damn, Maybe I should have made Carol all right?

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Speaker 1: Thank you? Yeah you did post your comments on Today's

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Speaker 1: Strubbery about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta get Paddy with this when you do.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook, and please check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.

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Speaker 3: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.