WEBVTT - The Karol Markowicz Show: The Unspeakeasy with Meghan Daum 0:00:05.519 --> 0:00:09.000 Hi, and welcome back to The Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio, 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:12.680 and welcome to my new time slot. The Carol Markowitz 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:16.480 Show now airs Wednesdays and Fridays, so you can get 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:19.840 this non political podcast, The Carol Markowitz Show on Wednesdays 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:23.000 and Fridays, and then normally my political show that I 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:26.440 co host with Mary Katherine Ham every Tuesday and Thursday. 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:30.000 The only day you don't get me is Mondays. Last episode, 0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:34.200 we talked about the New York Times article that blamed 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:38.840 women who wanted to marry more accomplished men and men 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:42.280 not accomplishing at the same rate as women for why 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:45.920 Trump got elected. Of course, I talked about the stat 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:50.400 in the piece that said that men only want women 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:53.600 to earn up to forty percent of what they make, 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:57.920 and I said that my husband sent me that stat 0:00:58.280 --> 0:01:00.800 and wrote that he'll set aside his and let me 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:02.120 go to two hundred percent. 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:02.600 Ha ha. 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:05.959 But I noted that the real question is what happens 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:09.840 if my two hundred percent goes to zero? Like what 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:13.400 if my kids hate high school and need more of 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:17.600 my time? Can I step away? That's a consideration that 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:21.360 women make. I heard from a few listeners about this, 0:01:21.560 --> 0:01:24.080 and I want to highlight one email that I got. 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:28.360 This one is a woman and she writes, Hi, Carol. 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:31.000 I broke up with someone last year because he didn't 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:33.759 make as much money as I did. But that wasn't 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:36.800 the whole picture. We are both in our early thirties 0:01:36.920 --> 0:01:39.360 and he is a great guy who just doesn't work 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:41.880 that hard. It wasn't the money he was making at 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.400 the time of our relationship, but that I worried about 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:47.280 our future. I do want to take time off when 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:49.800 I have children, and if I'm the breadwinner, I can't 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:52.680 do that. It does sound unfair when I write it out, 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:54.840 but I just couldn't see a life with someone who 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:57.560 didn't strive to succeed as much as I tried to. 0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:00.680 I understand that, and I think that it's a much 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:05.920 bigger problem than an income disparity. The truth is that 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:09.320 by your early thirties, you kind of know your earning 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:12.960 power sort of. I mean, I say that, but I 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:16.120 think a lot of things could change. You know, in 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:18.760 the decade into your forties, A lot of things are possible. 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:22.040 But if you don't work hard, you kind of know 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:24.359 where you're going to go here, and if you're with 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:27.200 somebody that you don't think is a hard worker. They're 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:29.200 probably going to stay where they are, and maybe they're 0:02:29.240 --> 0:02:31.640 happy with that, and maybe you're not. If you're going 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:34.519 to stay financially where you are and you want to 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:36.960 stay home with the kids, yeah, you kind of have 0:02:37.040 --> 0:02:39.320 to find somebody who makes a lot more money than 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:42.720 you do or who's able to support you. And again, 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:46.160 I think this all comes down to telling the truth 0:02:46.200 --> 0:02:49.960 to yourself. What I hear from women is that it's 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:52.720 not that they need to have a man who's very rich. 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:56.440 It's just the vision they have for their future family 0:02:57.200 --> 0:02:59.720 is that they will be at least somewhat home with 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:04.560 the kings. As I've said, in our family, I have 0:03:04.600 --> 0:03:09.239 a career, I'm very busy, but I'm still the primary caregiver. 0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:12.720 I'm the one who drops everything when the kid is sick, 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:16.720 the one who runs the household and you know, shops 0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:19.160 and does all the things that you need to do 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:23.240 to keep household running. Someone is going to be the 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:27.160 person who does that, and it won't be generally the 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:31.760 breadwinner of the couple. It's less about actual salary than 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:34.960 it is about time and what you want your family 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:38.480 life to look like, I think that's something that couples 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:41.800 should be discussing before they get married, or even before 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:46.680 they get serious. Conversations about money are always awkward, but 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:49.240 I think it's really important to lay out how you 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:52.840 want your family life to function before you have that family. 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:56.240 It'll save a lot of fights and struggles in the 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:59.680 long run. Coming up an interview with Megan dum But 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:03.920 First First, protecting our families and homes is essential, but 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:08.160 are we truly prepared? Break Ins happen every twenty five seconds. 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:11.760 Even with the security system, can it really keep intruders out? 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:15.760 Layer your defenses to buy yourself time. Start with Saber 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:19.240 driveway alerts to know when someone's approaching, paired with floodlights 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:23.040 to deter them. Sabers door security bars reinforce your front 0:04:23.160 --> 0:04:26.240 and back doors, stepping up to six hundred and fifty 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:29.240 pounds of force to secure entry points even when you're 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:32.840 not home, and if you are home, many invasions happen 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:36.599 at night. Sabers Home Defense Launcher is the ultimate choice 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:41.080 to protect yourself and your family. Saber projectiles hit hard, 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:44.400 causing intense pain and can still be effective if you 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:48.360 miss as intruders within a six foot pepper, cloud experience, 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:53.360 sensory irritation plus Sabers Home Defense Launcher is the only 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:58.200 sixty eight caliber launcher with a seven projectile capacity, offering 0:04:58.240 --> 0:05:02.080 up to forty percent more shots than others. Stay secure 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:06.640 day or night with Saber Solutions. Visit saberradio dot com. 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:11.520 That's sa b r eradio dot com or call eight 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:16.720 four four eight two four sa FE today to protect 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:19.200 what matters most. 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:24.560 Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:28.440 guest today is Megan DOWM. Megan is an author, journalist, 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:32.320 host of The Unspeakable podcast, and founder of the Unspeakeasy, 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:37.080 the first ever heterodox women's community, sometimes called the women's 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:39.800 Shelter for the politically homeless. Hi, Megan, so nice to 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:40.520 have you on. 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:42.320 Hi, Carol, it's great to be with you. 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:46.640 So I'm not politically homeless. I am just always been 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:48.760 a conservative. I mean I've had times where I oppose 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:52.479 the Republican Party, sure, but I have loved following what 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:56.279 you're doing, and I think that it's really interesting and unique. 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:58.560 Can you tell us a little little bit about the project, 0:05:58.600 --> 0:05:59.839 the Unspeakeasy. 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:03.440 Yeah, it's been a fascinating journey with this thing. I 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:05.800 think I feel like political homelessness is kind of on 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:08.080 a spectrum. I think, you know, even even if you 0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:12.000 don't feel generally homeless, we all have our moments. Sure, 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:15.640 so this I often think of this as a as 0:06:15.640 --> 0:06:18.160 a group for women who hate group think, and that 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:21.200 is a group for women who hate groups, hate groups, 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:24.640 who sometimes hate other women. No, no, no, it's hilarious 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:26.599 because I'm the last person who ever thought they would 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:30.000 start a women's community. I've always been I've been an 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:34.839 anti group sort of person. But you know, I've been writing, 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:38.240 as you know, about culture war issues for a long time, 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:42.120 you know, sort of throughout my career in a lot 0:06:42.160 --> 0:06:44.960 of ways. No, when my book The Problem with Everything 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:47.840 came out in twenty nineteen, I got a lot of 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:49.880 pushback from people on the left, but I also had 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:51.680 a lot of people coming and saying like, oh, I 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:54.400 really relate to what you're saying. I always thought of 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:57.479 myself as this kind of person, but I'm not identifying 0:06:57.520 --> 0:07:00.400 with a lot of aspects of this movement. Started my 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:04.240 podcast The Unspeakable in twenty twenty. You know, the sort 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:06.839 of origin story here is that I've always been a 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:10.280 writing teacher. So I was teaching just regular writing workshops 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:14.160 I always have, and I had people coming into my workshop. 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:16.760 It was not a political class at all, but I 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:20.239 had women especially coming in and like not even wanting 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:23.280 to write necessarily, they just wanted to have a place 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:25.560 where they could talk about the issues that I talk 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:28.679 about on my podcast and you know, I'm all about nuance. 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:31.600 I was talking about the new gender movement and we 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:34.400 were talking about you know, COVID stuff, and you know, 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:37.680 the sort of range of views and experiences there. And 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:42.480 it became so clear to me that while everybody obviously 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:46.640 experiences the effects of cancel culture, women were having a 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:51.200 very particular kind of experience because they were being ostracized 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:55.640 by other women, by their own friends, sometimes their closest friends, 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:59.240 because they were not in lockstep with certain views. And 0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:04.080 it wasn't only it wasn't only like inconvenient. It was heartbreaking, Yeah, 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:07.760 And so I realized I needed to start a community 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:11.480 for women who were experiencing this in different ways. 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:14.320 So is it just like all the canceled people hanging 0:08:14.360 --> 0:08:15.200 out together. 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:18.520 Or some of them are our normies? I mean, we 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:21.520 have so right, So this is I mean, this is 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:25.160 for everyone. So how it started is I assembled a 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:28.040 group of about ten women that I knew from you know, 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.600 different they had different kinds of jobs, different walks of life, 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:32.680 they lived all over the country, and we went out. 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:35.200 We went to Joshua Tree, actually we went out into 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:39.080 the desert and just had three days of discussions. We 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:42.320 talked about everything. We talked about censorship and the arts, 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:45.120 we talked about public health messaging, we talked about gender, 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:48.240 and it was magical. There were no phones, we were 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:51.719 not doing social media stuff. We were a range of ages, 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:56.280 and it was like, we need to offer these for everyone. 0:08:56.440 --> 0:09:00.760 We need to have free speech vacations, right basically. So 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:05.080 I started leading these and then we built an online community. 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:09.119 So now we have a private membership based online community 0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:13.160 and we have women of all ages, all backgrounds. 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:13.360 It go. 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:15.160 They start they're in their twenties, all the way up 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:19.920 to their range of political views, and really the emphasis 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:25.920 is on nuanced, off the record, private, honest, good faith 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:30.920 conversations and it's fantastic. Actually, it's been life changing for me, 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:33.080 and I think for a lot of our members. 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:36.480 It sounds amazing more with Megan Dome in a moment, 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:40.240 but first, protecting our families and homes is essential, but 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:44.680 are we truly prepared? Break Ins happen every twenty five seconds. 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:48.160 Even with the security system, can it really keep intruders out? 0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:52.880 Layer your defenses to buy yourself time. Start with Sabers 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:56.200 driveway alerts to know when someone's approaching, paired with the 0:09:56.240 --> 0:10:00.760 floodlights to deter them. Sabers door security bars reinforce your 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:04.199 front and back doors, stopping up to six hundred and 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:07.559 fifty pounds of force to secure entry points even when 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:11.079 you're not home, and if you are home, many invasions 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:14.640 happen at night. Sabers Home Defense Launcher is the ultimate 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:19.480 choice to protect yourself and family. Saber projectiles hit hard, 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:22.959 causing intense pain and can still be effective if you 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:26.480 miss as intruders within the six foot pepper cloud experienced 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:31.520 sensory irritation plus. Sabers Home Defense Launcher is the only 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:37.079 sixty eight caliber launcher with a seven projectile capacity, offering 0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:40.880 up to forty percent more shots than others. Stay secured 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:45.480 day or night with Saber solutions. Visit saberradio dot com, 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:50.800 that's Sabre radio dot com or call eight four four 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:59.480 eight two four Safe Today to protect what matters most. 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:02.400 The thing that I ask people like you, and what 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:04.080 I mean by that is people who were on the left, 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:07.760 like comfortable maybe, but they decided they had to speak 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:09.360 out on any. 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:10.080 Number of issues. 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:13.679 Why, Like what moved you to do that when you 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:16.920 could have just been safe and comfortable and not bothered 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:19.600 and not canceled and all of that on the left, 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:21.040 Like what provoked you? 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:25.520 I just don't like bs. What can I say? I 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:29.360 don't like being dishonest. I became a writer and a 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:33.720 journalist and an essays because I wanted to explore ideas 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:37.280 in an honest way, like that's why I'm in the job. 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:40.400 And so just as a writer, it's been really disturbing 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:43.280 to me to see people who got into this business 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:46.280 because they wanted to think and they wanted to be 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:49.920 authentic in their expressions and suddenly like that's the opposite 0:11:50.120 --> 0:11:52.480 of the job. So I just couldn't keep doing it 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:53.280 in the old way. 0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:55.240 Did you always want to be a writer? 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:58.280 Yeah? I'm really bad at everything else. I have no 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:01.240 other skills. Although now that I've become an event planner 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:05.480 in my well through doing the unspeakeasy, I sometimes I 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:07.760 feel like I should have gone to hotel management school 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:10.400 or something. It's not too late, you know, yeah, no, 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:12.720 never too late, but yeah, I mean, just you know, 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:15.320 the thing is it kind of is a great It's 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:17.479 been a great thing for me because I love ideas, 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:20.800 and I love bringing people together and I love to talk. 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:23.560 I mean, you know, and I'm curious if you have 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:25.800 thoughts about this too, because as a podcaster and as 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:27.680 like a woman, I mean, you're a columnist, you've been 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:31.559 a journalist, you were in this world. The kind of 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:33.840 heterodoc space, whatever you want to call it, the kind 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:38.240 of free thought viewpoint diversity space is very male dominated. 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:42.280 I mean, you have obvious exceptions, women who are succeeding 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:45.600 on extraordinary levels like Barry Weiss and people like that, 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:50.079 but it's very very broish, right, And so part of 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:52.920 the reason I started the Unspeakeasy is I was noticing that, 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:55.880 like a lot of the women in the listener communities 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:58.880 of these podcasts, they were in the minority. Like you 0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:00.839 go to a hangout for one of these things, and 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:03.560 it would be like all dudes and maybe a few women, 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:08.320 and women really have very specific experiences around this. I meant, 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:10.160 a lot of the women that come into the unspeakeasy 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:14.640 always say they had a book club incident or something 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:20.320 happening on Facebook, or something happening with their parent group. Like, 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:22.320 you know, suddenly you're in your book club and it's like, 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:25.160 oh wait, guys like I don't want to read, you know, 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:31.520 white fragility, and suddenly you're thrown out, and women exercise 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:35.680 control with social exclusion, right. You know, they are sort 0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:39.680 of the the drivers of cancel culture, right, and it's 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:42.040 really devastating. Yeah. 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:45.720 Absolutely. It's interesting about the heterodox movement. You're saying that 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:48.800 it's male dominated. I think all politics. You know, when 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.720 I was in my twenties and my girlfriends would say, like, 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:53.440 how do you meet a man, I would say, get 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:56.320 into politics. My two hobbies were politics and poker. I 0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:58.760 was surrounded by men. I was like hoping for more 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:00.960 women to get into it. But I was like, yeah, 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:04.440 play poker and get into politics and you'll be surrounded 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:05.360 by men all the time. 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:06.080 Yeah. 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:09.079 So I think that's common across across all the not 0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:12.440 just heterodoxy, but in the conservative world, in the liberal world, 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:15.200 I think it's just a male dominated sort of feel. 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:18.720 That's true. You should write a dating book. Yeah, that's 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:21.720 my two tips. That's all they got, Like, I'm out 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:23.600 of ideas never. 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:27.000 But it's interesting also about about dating, like how do 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:30.600 these heterodox people find each other in the dating world. 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:34.560 It's not quite as easy as marking conservative or liberal 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:35.800 on a dating app. 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:37.920 Oh yeah, well apparently if you're on a lot of 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:40.240 these apps, if you say that you're conservative, you're going 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.080 to run out of options fast, right. 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:45.400 But you at least anybody who contacts you knows what 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:48.080 they're getting. You know, nobody's going to be surprised, no 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:51.760 element of like secrecy. It's all out there in the open, like, yeah, 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:53.760 I'm a conservative and that's just what I am. 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:57.120 Yeah, I know, well, I always I keep saying there 0:14:57.120 --> 0:15:00.160 should be some kind of heterodox dating app. Even know, 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:02.640 the word heterodocs is so terrible. I can't think of 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:04.240 a better one. But yeah, there should be a sort 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:08.160 of like unwoke. Yeah, I mean, but this is stuff 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:10.520 we talk about in the community. I mean, a lot 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:12.840 of our women, you know, we tend to be you know, 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:15.480 there's a lot of gen xers, but like I said, 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:18.280 we're all ages. So it's you know, the getting together 0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:21.400 with women, and I should say, like, you know, with 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:24.240 with our retreats. We've gone I think we've done like 0:15:24.280 --> 0:15:28.200 fifteen now, and they're small, they're captive, about sixteen people, 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:31.240 and we go to beautiful places and just to sit 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:33.680 in a room with like you have women in their 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:35.920 twenties and then you have women who are much much 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:39.880 older and being able to talk about these things. It's 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:43.720 like it really it's profound, Like you realize how infrequently 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:47.920 we're around people who are like way older than us, 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:51.280 for instance, or much younger and something like dating and 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:56.520 relationships that I can really be meaningful, Like for like 0:15:56.560 --> 0:15:59.240 a twenty six year old to sit there and try 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:00.800 to talk about what it's like to be on the 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:04.120 apps and in this kind of hookup culture world with 0:16:04.200 --> 0:16:07.560 a woman who's like seventy five and has had a 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:11.760 totally different experience around that stuff, but also feels similarly 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:15.040 alienated from the current culture and from her own friends. 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:17.480 I mean, we've had women like who live in retirement 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:20.120 communities that are so woke they're losing their minds, and 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:23.640 women who just graduated from college and their college was 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:25.720 so woke they're losing their minds, And there's like an 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:27.160 incredible common ground there. 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:29.880 How do they find you well. 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:33.400 Often they find me well. They find me through my podcast, 0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:36.240 the Unspeakable podcast, which I started. I started in the 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:40.720 summer of twenty twenty, summer of all podcasts starting, and 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:42.880 a lot of them know me through there, just through 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:44.840 my writing. And we have a you know, we have 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:48.560 a website, the unspeakeasy dot com. And I mean, it's 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:50.720 it's very word of math. I have not done really 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:54.200 any publicity. We have about we have about i'd say, 0:16:54.240 --> 0:16:58.960 five hundred members and that's just been you know, that 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:02.600 has been through through of mouth, and that's starting to change. 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:06.119 You know, in the community. We bring in speakers, we 0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:08.080 have book clubs. We have book clubs that you're not 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:12.160 going to get kicked out of. Wow, I mean. And 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:15.359 no white fragility, no, I mean. And you know, we 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:17.439 often are able to bring in the authors. We've had 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:19.719 Lionel Schreiverer come in and speak with us. We had 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:22.800 Carol Hooven, the evolutionary biologists who wrote the book t 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:27.600 The Story of Testosterone. She joined us. Julie Bindle, who's 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:31.000 a legendary feminist and she's a controversial person but has 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:35.359 been very outspoken around the gender movement and youth gender 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:39.720 transition transition. She's joining us soon, and it's just I 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:42.160 think people hear about it and and they want to come, 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:44.960 and you know it is there's there's a little application process. 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:47.760 We need to know who you are because some women 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:52.199 are in there and they really feel very vulnerable, Like 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:55.480 a lot of them have kids that have gotten caught 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:59.480 up and gender stuff, and they feel very vulnerable in 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:04.480 their community. They really really need to feel safe in 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.560 the community. So I need to know who everybody is. 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:11.159 And it's just been it's just been great. But yet, no, 0:18:11.240 --> 0:18:14.280 we don't advertise or anything like that. We're not advertising 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:16.639 on the subway well with the dating apps yet. 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:19.200 Right, more with Megan Dome in a moment, But first, 0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:23.080 the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews wishes you a 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:26.320 blessed beginning of the holiday season as you gather with 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:28.880 your family. Is grateful for the blessings that God has 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:32.000 given us all, but let's also remember those who are 0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:36.920 facing unbelievable hardship in need of food, fellowship, and hope. 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.159 That includes the people of Israel, who are threatened daily 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:44.400 by attacks from enemies on all sides. And during these 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:48.320 hard times, Israelis are thankful to the Fellowship for Food 0:18:48.440 --> 0:18:52.360 and Basic Assistance, truly life saving aid when the rest 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:54.760 of the world seems to have turned its back on them. 0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:58.119 Your gift of twenty five dollars will help provide a 0:18:58.119 --> 0:19:01.080 food box to an elderly Jew or a Jewish family 0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:04.840 who are suffering and in desperate need. A gift of 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:07.400 one hundred dollars will help provide four of these life 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:12.359 saving food boxes this holiday season. Please continue standing with 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:16.440 Israel and the Jewish people. Go to support IFCJ dot 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:21.080 org to make a gift now, that's support IFCJ dot org, 0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:24.440 or call to give at eight eight eight four eight 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:28.800 eight if CJ that's eight eight eight for eight eight 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:30.440 four three two five. 0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:37.280 It's interesting you say that people who got you know, 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:39.240 have kids, have gotten caught up in the gender thing. 0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:41.520 You know, they're feeling vulnerable and they kind of need 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:44.199 you know, I hate to say safe space, but you know, 0:19:44.320 --> 0:19:47.080 we do all need safe spaces sometimes, because I think 0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:50.760 that the right has sort of misplayed that part of 0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:52.960 it with the with the gender stuff, like they're not 0:19:53.000 --> 0:19:56.520 being supportive enough to parents who are suffering. They assume 0:19:56.560 --> 0:19:59.480 like all parents are, like we my kids. Trends I'm 0:19:59.480 --> 0:20:01.520 so popular are now and a lot of parents, I 0:20:01.560 --> 0:20:04.400 mean I knew parents in Brooklyn, New York and super 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:09.919 left areas who are super struggling with their kid, you know, 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:13.320 declaring themselves trands. The school obviously wanting to reinforce that, 0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:16.320 and there's nobody to kind of guide them or help 0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:20.800 them or say it's you know, I love your kid, 0:20:21.240 --> 0:20:24.720 here's the steps you should take to help them. And 0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:27.720 so it's really interesting that you mentioned that and that 0:20:27.800 --> 0:20:29.160 you have that support for these people. 0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:31.840 Yeah. Well, the reason that we think that all the 0:20:31.880 --> 0:20:34.520 parents are going, yay, my kid is trans is because 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:36.679 those are the parents that we see on social media 0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:40.160 by definition, right, Yeah, and there are so many that 0:20:40.359 --> 0:20:45.960 are really scared. They're they're apprehensive, but they've also been judged, 0:20:46.080 --> 0:20:51.920 if not downright ostracized by their communities if they don't affirm. Yeah. 0:20:51.960 --> 0:20:54.800 I mean, that's a huge, huge issue in our community. 0:20:54.800 --> 0:20:56.840 It's by no means the only thing we talk about, 0:20:56.880 --> 0:20:58.919 and we've got plenty of members who like don't care 0:20:58.920 --> 0:21:01.919 about this issue at all. It is something that brings 0:21:01.960 --> 0:21:04.800 people in. I mean, interestingly, we have a lot of therapists, 0:21:04.880 --> 0:21:07.840 we have you know, a lot of our women are therapists, 0:21:08.359 --> 0:21:12.320 and they are our therapists who are not necessarily like 0:21:12.480 --> 0:21:16.360 affirmative care, and they are worried about within the therapy 0:21:16.400 --> 0:21:21.359 community being ostracized. They're they're really concerned about privacy. You know, 0:21:21.440 --> 0:21:24.040 we have even that we did internal pulling, you know, 0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:27.160 in the run up to the election, and you know, 0:21:27.359 --> 0:21:31.440 our members were actually pretty evenly split Harris Trump. I mean, 0:21:31.640 --> 0:21:35.119 it shifted around at different points, but it's amazing, like 0:21:35.160 --> 0:21:38.879 we are, we are divided almost straight down the middle, 0:21:39.600 --> 0:21:45.400 and we managed to get along. So rare, It's totally rare. 0:21:45.440 --> 0:21:47.840 And I mean we we had some tense moments, for sure, 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:51.760 but you know, we had this incredible you know, we 0:21:51.800 --> 0:21:54.359 have a zoom hangout. We have we have a hangout lounge. 0:21:54.400 --> 0:21:56.120 It's open all the time and people can pop into 0:21:56.119 --> 0:21:58.960 the Zoom. And we were in there on election night 0:21:59.520 --> 0:22:02.960 and you know, watching the returns came in and a 0:22:03.000 --> 0:22:05.800 lot of women were saying, you know, eight years ago, 0:22:06.600 --> 0:22:09.280