1 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:09,000 Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome back to The Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio, 2 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 1: and welcome to my new time slot. The Carol Markowitz 3 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: Show now airs Wednesdays and Fridays, so you can get 4 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,840 Speaker 1: this non political podcast, The Carol Markowitz Show on Wednesdays 5 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: and Fridays, and then normally my political show that I 6 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:26,440 Speaker 1: co host with Mary Katherine Ham every Tuesday and Thursday. 7 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: The only day you don't get me is Mondays. Last episode, 8 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:34,200 Speaker 1: we talked about the New York Times article that blamed 9 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:38,840 Speaker 1: women who wanted to marry more accomplished men and men 10 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: not accomplishing at the same rate as women for why 11 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,920 Speaker 1: Trump got elected. Of course, I talked about the stat 12 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: in the piece that said that men only want women 13 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:53,600 Speaker 1: to earn up to forty percent of what they make, 14 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 1: and I said that my husband sent me that stat 15 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: and wrote that he'll set aside his and let me 16 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 1: go to two hundred percent. 17 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 2: Ha ha. 18 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 3: But I noted that the real question is what happens 19 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 3: if my two hundred percent goes to zero? Like what 20 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:13,400 Speaker 3: if my kids hate high school and need more of 21 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 3: my time? Can I step away? That's a consideration that 22 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 3: women make. I heard from a few listeners about this, 23 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 3: and I want to highlight one email that I got. 24 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 3: This one is a woman and she writes, Hi, Carol. 25 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 3: I broke up with someone last year because he didn't 26 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,759 Speaker 3: make as much money as I did. But that wasn't 27 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 3: the whole picture. We are both in our early thirties 28 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 3: and he is a great guy who just doesn't work 29 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 3: that hard. It wasn't the money he was making at 30 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,400 Speaker 3: the time of our relationship, but that I worried about 31 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 3: our future. I do want to take time off when 32 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 3: I have children, and if I'm the breadwinner, I can't 33 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 3: do that. It does sound unfair when I write it out, 34 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 3: but I just couldn't see a life with someone who 35 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 3: didn't strive to succeed as much as I tried to. 36 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 3: I understand that, and I think that it's a much 37 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 3: bigger problem than an income disparity. The truth is that 38 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 3: by your early thirties, you kind of know your earning 39 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 3: power sort of. I mean, I say that, but I 40 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 3: think a lot of things could change. You know, in 41 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 3: the decade into your forties, A lot of things are possible. 42 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 3: But if you don't work hard, you kind of know 43 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,359 Speaker 3: where you're going to go here, and if you're with 44 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 3: somebody that you don't think is a hard worker. They're 45 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 3: probably going to stay where they are, and maybe they're 46 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,640 Speaker 3: happy with that, and maybe you're not. If you're going 47 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:34,519 Speaker 3: to stay financially where you are and you want to 48 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 3: stay home with the kids, yeah, you kind of have 49 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 3: to find somebody who makes a lot more money than 50 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 3: you do or who's able to support you. And again, 51 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 3: I think this all comes down to telling the truth 52 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 3: to yourself. What I hear from women is that it's 53 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 3: not that they need to have a man who's very rich. 54 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 3: It's just the vision they have for their future family 55 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 3: is that they will be at least somewhat home with 56 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 3: the kings. As I've said, in our family, I have 57 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:09,239 Speaker 3: a career, I'm very busy, but I'm still the primary caregiver. 58 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 3: I'm the one who drops everything when the kid is sick, 59 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 3: the one who runs the household and you know, shops 60 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 3: and does all the things that you need to do 61 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 3: to keep household running. Someone is going to be the 62 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 3: person who does that, and it won't be generally the 63 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 3: breadwinner of the couple. It's less about actual salary than 64 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 3: it is about time and what you want your family 65 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 3: life to look like, I think that's something that couples 66 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 3: should be discussing before they get married, or even before 67 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 3: they get serious. Conversations about money are always awkward, but 68 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 3: I think it's really important to lay out how you 69 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 3: want your family life to function before you have that family. 70 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 3: It'll save a lot of fights and struggles in the 71 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 3: long run. Coming up an interview with Megan dum But 72 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 3: First First, protecting our families and homes is essential, but 73 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 3: are we truly prepared? Break Ins happen every twenty five seconds. 74 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 3: Even with the security system, can it really keep intruders out? 75 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 3: Layer your defenses to buy yourself time. Start with Saber 76 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 3: driveway alerts to know when someone's approaching, paired with floodlights 77 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:23,040 Speaker 3: to deter them. Sabers door security bars reinforce your front 78 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 3: and back doors, stepping up to six hundred and fifty 79 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 3: pounds of force to secure entry points even when you're 80 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,840 Speaker 3: not home, and if you are home, many invasions happen 81 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:36,599 Speaker 3: at night. Sabers Home Defense Launcher is the ultimate choice 82 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 3: to protect yourself and your family. Saber projectiles hit hard, 83 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 3: causing intense pain and can still be effective if you 84 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:48,360 Speaker 3: miss as intruders within a six foot pepper, cloud experience, 85 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 3: sensory irritation plus Sabers Home Defense Launcher is the only 86 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 3: sixty eight caliber launcher with a seven projectile capacity, offering 87 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 3: up to forty percent more shots than others. Stay secure 88 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 3: day or night with Saber Solutions. Visit saberradio dot com. 89 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 3: That's sa b r eradio dot com or call eight 90 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:16,720 Speaker 3: four four eight two four sa FE today to protect 91 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 3: what matters most. 92 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 4: Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My 93 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 4: guest today is Megan DOWM. Megan is an author, journalist, 94 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 4: host of The Unspeakable podcast, and founder of the Unspeakeasy, 95 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 4: the first ever heterodox women's community, sometimes called the women's 96 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 4: Shelter for the politically homeless. Hi, Megan, so nice to 97 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 4: have you on. 98 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 2: Hi, Carol, it's great to be with you. 99 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 4: So I'm not politically homeless. I am just always been 100 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 4: a conservative. I mean I've had times where I oppose 101 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,479 Speaker 4: the Republican Party, sure, but I have loved following what 102 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 4: you're doing, and I think that it's really interesting and unique. 103 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 4: Can you tell us a little little bit about the project, 104 00:05:58,600 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 4: the Unspeakeasy. 105 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been a fascinating journey with this thing. I 106 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 2: think I feel like political homelessness is kind of on 107 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:08,080 Speaker 2: a spectrum. I think, you know, even even if you 108 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 2: don't feel generally homeless, we all have our moments. Sure, 109 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,640 Speaker 2: so this I often think of this as a as 110 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,160 Speaker 2: a group for women who hate group think, and that 111 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 2: is a group for women who hate groups, hate groups, 112 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 2: who sometimes hate other women. No, no, no, it's hilarious 113 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,599 Speaker 2: because I'm the last person who ever thought they would 114 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 2: start a women's community. I've always been I've been an 115 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:34,839 Speaker 2: anti group sort of person. But you know, I've been writing, 116 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 2: as you know, about culture war issues for a long time, 117 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 2: you know, sort of throughout my career in a lot 118 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 2: of ways. No, when my book The Problem with Everything 119 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,840 Speaker 2: came out in twenty nineteen, I got a lot of 120 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 2: pushback from people on the left, but I also had 121 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 2: a lot of people coming and saying like, oh, I 122 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 2: really relate to what you're saying. I always thought of 123 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,479 Speaker 2: myself as this kind of person, but I'm not identifying 124 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 2: with a lot of aspects of this movement. Started my 125 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 2: podcast The Unspeakable in twenty twenty. You know, the sort 126 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 2: of origin story here is that I've always been a 127 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 2: writing teacher. So I was teaching just regular writing workshops 128 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 2: I always have, and I had people coming into my workshop. 129 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 2: It was not a political class at all, but I 130 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,239 Speaker 2: had women especially coming in and like not even wanting 131 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 2: to write necessarily, they just wanted to have a place 132 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 2: where they could talk about the issues that I talk 133 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,679 Speaker 2: about on my podcast and you know, I'm all about nuance. 134 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 2: I was talking about the new gender movement and we 135 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 2: were talking about you know, COVID stuff, and you know, 136 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 2: the sort of range of views and experiences there. And 137 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 2: it became so clear to me that while everybody obviously 138 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 2: experiences the effects of cancel culture, women were having a 139 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 2: very particular kind of experience because they were being ostracized 140 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 2: by other women, by their own friends, sometimes their closest friends, 141 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,240 Speaker 2: because they were not in lockstep with certain views. And 142 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:04,080 Speaker 2: it wasn't only it wasn't only like inconvenient. It was heartbreaking, Yeah, 143 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 2: And so I realized I needed to start a community 144 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 2: for women who were experiencing this in different ways. 145 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 4: So is it just like all the canceled people hanging 146 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,200 Speaker 4: out together. 147 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 2: Or some of them are our normies? I mean, we 148 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 2: have so right, So this is I mean, this is 149 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 2: for everyone. So how it started is I assembled a 150 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 2: group of about ten women that I knew from you know, 151 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 2: different they had different kinds of jobs, different walks of life, 152 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,680 Speaker 2: they lived all over the country, and we went out. 153 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,200 Speaker 2: We went to Joshua Tree, actually we went out into 154 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 2: the desert and just had three days of discussions. We 155 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,320 Speaker 2: talked about everything. We talked about censorship and the arts, 156 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 2: we talked about public health messaging, we talked about gender, 157 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 2: and it was magical. There were no phones, we were 158 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:51,719 Speaker 2: not doing social media stuff. We were a range of ages, 159 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 2: and it was like, we need to offer these for everyone. 160 00:08:56,440 --> 00:09:00,760 Speaker 2: We need to have free speech vacations, right basically. So 161 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:05,080 Speaker 2: I started leading these and then we built an online community. 162 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:09,119 Speaker 2: So now we have a private membership based online community 163 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:13,160 Speaker 2: and we have women of all ages, all backgrounds. 164 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 4: It go. 165 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 2: They start they're in their twenties, all the way up 166 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 2: to their range of political views, and really the emphasis 167 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 2: is on nuanced, off the record, private, honest, good faith 168 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 2: conversations and it's fantastic. Actually, it's been life changing for me, 169 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,080 Speaker 2: and I think for a lot of our members. 170 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 3: It sounds amazing more with Megan Dome in a moment, 171 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 3: but first, protecting our families and homes is essential, but 172 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:44,680 Speaker 3: are we truly prepared? Break Ins happen every twenty five seconds. 173 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 3: Even with the security system, can it really keep intruders out? 174 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 3: Layer your defenses to buy yourself time. Start with Sabers 175 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 3: driveway alerts to know when someone's approaching, paired with the 176 00:09:56,240 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 3: floodlights to deter them. Sabers door security bars reinforce your 177 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:04,199 Speaker 3: front and back doors, stopping up to six hundred and 178 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,559 Speaker 3: fifty pounds of force to secure entry points even when 179 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:11,079 Speaker 3: you're not home, and if you are home, many invasions 180 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:14,640 Speaker 3: happen at night. Sabers Home Defense Launcher is the ultimate 181 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 3: choice to protect yourself and family. Saber projectiles hit hard, 182 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,959 Speaker 3: causing intense pain and can still be effective if you 183 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 3: miss as intruders within the six foot pepper cloud experienced 184 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 3: sensory irritation plus. Sabers Home Defense Launcher is the only 185 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:37,079 Speaker 3: sixty eight caliber launcher with a seven projectile capacity, offering 186 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 3: up to forty percent more shots than others. Stay secured 187 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:45,480 Speaker 3: day or night with Saber solutions. Visit saberradio dot com, 188 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 3: that's Sabre radio dot com or call eight four four 189 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 3: eight two four Safe Today to protect what matters most. 190 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 4: The thing that I ask people like you, and what 191 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,080 Speaker 4: I mean by that is people who were on the left, 192 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 4: like comfortable maybe, but they decided they had to speak 193 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 4: out on any. 194 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,080 Speaker 2: Number of issues. 195 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,679 Speaker 4: Why, Like what moved you to do that when you 196 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 4: could have just been safe and comfortable and not bothered 197 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 4: and not canceled and all of that on the left, 198 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 4: Like what provoked you? 199 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:25,520 Speaker 2: I just don't like bs. What can I say? I 200 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 2: don't like being dishonest. I became a writer and a 201 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:33,720 Speaker 2: journalist and an essays because I wanted to explore ideas 202 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 2: in an honest way, like that's why I'm in the job. 203 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,400 Speaker 2: And so just as a writer, it's been really disturbing 204 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 2: to me to see people who got into this business 205 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,280 Speaker 2: because they wanted to think and they wanted to be 206 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 2: authentic in their expressions and suddenly like that's the opposite 207 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 2: of the job. So I just couldn't keep doing it 208 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 2: in the old way. 209 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 4: Did you always want to be a writer? 210 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm really bad at everything else. I have no 211 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 2: other skills. Although now that I've become an event planner 212 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 2: in my well through doing the unspeakeasy, I sometimes I 213 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 2: feel like I should have gone to hotel management school 214 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 2: or something. It's not too late, you know, yeah, no, 215 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 2: never too late, but yeah, I mean, just you know, 216 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 2: the thing is it kind of is a great It's 217 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,479 Speaker 2: been a great thing for me because I love ideas, 218 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 2: and I love bringing people together and I love to talk. 219 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,560 Speaker 2: I mean, you know, and I'm curious if you have 220 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 2: thoughts about this too, because as a podcaster and as 221 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 2: like a woman, I mean, you're a columnist, you've been 222 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,559 Speaker 2: a journalist, you were in this world. The kind of 223 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 2: heterodoc space, whatever you want to call it, the kind 224 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:38,240 Speaker 2: of free thought viewpoint diversity space is very male dominated. 225 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 2: I mean, you have obvious exceptions, women who are succeeding 226 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 2: on extraordinary levels like Barry Weiss and people like that, 227 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:50,079 Speaker 2: but it's very very broish, right, And so part of 228 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 2: the reason I started the Unspeakeasy is I was noticing that, 229 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 2: like a lot of the women in the listener communities 230 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 2: of these podcasts, they were in the minority. Like you 231 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,839 Speaker 2: go to a hangout for one of these things, and 232 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,560 Speaker 2: it would be like all dudes and maybe a few women, 233 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 2: and women really have very specific experiences around this. I meant, 234 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 2: a lot of the women that come into the unspeakeasy 235 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 2: always say they had a book club incident or something 236 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:20,320 Speaker 2: happening on Facebook, or something happening with their parent group. Like, 237 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 2: you know, suddenly you're in your book club and it's like, 238 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 2: oh wait, guys like I don't want to read, you know, 239 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 2: white fragility, and suddenly you're thrown out, and women exercise 240 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:35,680 Speaker 2: control with social exclusion, right. You know, they are sort 241 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:39,680 Speaker 2: of the the drivers of cancel culture, right, and it's 242 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 2: really devastating. Yeah. 243 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 4: Absolutely. It's interesting about the heterodox movement. You're saying that 244 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,800 Speaker 4: it's male dominated. I think all politics. You know, when 245 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 4: I was in my twenties and my girlfriends would say, like, 246 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,440 Speaker 4: how do you meet a man, I would say, get 247 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,320 Speaker 4: into politics. My two hobbies were politics and poker. I 248 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 4: was surrounded by men. I was like hoping for more 249 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 4: women to get into it. But I was like, yeah, 250 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,440 Speaker 4: play poker and get into politics and you'll be surrounded 251 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 4: by men all the time. 252 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. 253 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,079 Speaker 4: So I think that's common across across all the not 254 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 4: just heterodoxy, but in the conservative world, in the liberal world, 255 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,200 Speaker 4: I think it's just a male dominated sort of feel. 256 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 2: That's true. You should write a dating book. Yeah, that's 257 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,720 Speaker 2: my two tips. That's all they got, Like, I'm out 258 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 2: of ideas never. 259 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,000 Speaker 4: But it's interesting also about about dating, like how do 260 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 4: these heterodox people find each other in the dating world. 261 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:34,560 Speaker 4: It's not quite as easy as marking conservative or liberal 262 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:35,800 Speaker 4: on a dating app. 263 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,920 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, well apparently if you're on a lot of 264 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 2: these apps, if you say that you're conservative, you're going 265 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 2: to run out of options fast, right. 266 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 4: But you at least anybody who contacts you knows what 267 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 4: they're getting. You know, nobody's going to be surprised, no 268 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 4: element of like secrecy. It's all out there in the open, like, yeah, 269 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 4: I'm a conservative and that's just what I am. 270 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, well, I always I keep saying there 271 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:00,160 Speaker 2: should be some kind of heterodox dating app. Even know, 272 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 2: the word heterodocs is so terrible. I can't think of 273 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,240 Speaker 2: a better one. But yeah, there should be a sort 274 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 2: of like unwoke. Yeah, I mean, but this is stuff 275 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 2: we talk about in the community. I mean, a lot 276 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 2: of our women, you know, we tend to be you know, 277 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 2: there's a lot of gen xers, but like I said, 278 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 2: we're all ages. So it's you know, the getting together 279 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 2: with women, and I should say, like, you know, with 280 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,240 Speaker 2: with our retreats. We've gone I think we've done like 281 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 2: fifteen now, and they're small, they're captive, about sixteen people, 282 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 2: and we go to beautiful places and just to sit 283 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 2: in a room with like you have women in their 284 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 2: twenties and then you have women who are much much 285 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 2: older and being able to talk about these things. It's 286 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 2: like it really it's profound, Like you realize how infrequently 287 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,920 Speaker 2: we're around people who are like way older than us, 288 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 2: for instance, or much younger and something like dating and 289 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:56,520 Speaker 2: relationships that I can really be meaningful, Like for like 290 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,240 Speaker 2: a twenty six year old to sit there and try 291 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 2: to talk about what it's like to be on the 292 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,120 Speaker 2: apps and in this kind of hookup culture world with 293 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 2: a woman who's like seventy five and has had a 294 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 2: totally different experience around that stuff, but also feels similarly 295 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 2: alienated from the current culture and from her own friends. 296 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,480 Speaker 2: I mean, we've had women like who live in retirement 297 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,120 Speaker 2: communities that are so woke they're losing their minds, and 298 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 2: women who just graduated from college and their college was 299 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 2: so woke they're losing their minds, And there's like an 300 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 2: incredible common ground there. 301 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 4: How do they find you well. 302 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:33,400 Speaker 2: Often they find me well. They find me through my podcast, 303 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 2: the Unspeakable podcast, which I started. I started in the 304 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 2: summer of twenty twenty, summer of all podcasts starting, and 305 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 2: a lot of them know me through there, just through 306 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 2: my writing. And we have a you know, we have 307 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 2: a website, the unspeakeasy dot com. And I mean, it's 308 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 2: it's very word of math. I have not done really 309 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,200 Speaker 2: any publicity. We have about we have about i'd say, 310 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 2: five hundred members and that's just been you know, that 311 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 2: has been through through of mouth, and that's starting to change. 312 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:06,119 Speaker 2: You know, in the community. We bring in speakers, we 313 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 2: have book clubs. We have book clubs that you're not 314 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:12,160 Speaker 2: going to get kicked out of. Wow, I mean. And 315 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,359 Speaker 2: no white fragility, no, I mean. And you know, we 316 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,439 Speaker 2: often are able to bring in the authors. We've had 317 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,719 Speaker 2: Lionel Schreiverer come in and speak with us. We had 318 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 2: Carol Hooven, the evolutionary biologists who wrote the book t 319 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 2: The Story of Testosterone. She joined us. Julie Bindle, who's 320 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 2: a legendary feminist and she's a controversial person but has 321 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:35,359 Speaker 2: been very outspoken around the gender movement and youth gender 322 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:39,720 Speaker 2: transition transition. She's joining us soon, and it's just I 323 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,160 Speaker 2: think people hear about it and and they want to come, 324 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 2: and you know it is there's there's a little application process. 325 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,760 Speaker 2: We need to know who you are because some women 326 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:52,199 Speaker 2: are in there and they really feel very vulnerable, Like 327 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 2: a lot of them have kids that have gotten caught 328 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 2: up and gender stuff, and they feel very vulnerable in 329 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 2: their community. They really really need to feel safe in 330 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 2: the community. So I need to know who everybody is. 331 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:11,159 Speaker 2: And it's just been it's just been great. But yet, no, 332 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 2: we don't advertise or anything like that. We're not advertising 333 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 2: on the subway well with the dating apps yet. 334 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:19,200 Speaker 3: Right, more with Megan Dome in a moment, But first, 335 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 3: the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews wishes you a 336 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 3: blessed beginning of the holiday season as you gather with 337 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,880 Speaker 3: your family. Is grateful for the blessings that God has 338 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 3: given us all, but let's also remember those who are 339 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:36,920 Speaker 3: facing unbelievable hardship in need of food, fellowship, and hope. 340 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,159 Speaker 3: That includes the people of Israel, who are threatened daily 341 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:44,400 Speaker 3: by attacks from enemies on all sides. And during these 342 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 3: hard times, Israelis are thankful to the Fellowship for Food 343 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:52,360 Speaker 3: and Basic Assistance, truly life saving aid when the rest 344 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 3: of the world seems to have turned its back on them. 345 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,119 Speaker 3: Your gift of twenty five dollars will help provide a 346 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 3: food box to an elderly Jew or a Jewish family 347 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 3: who are suffering and in desperate need. A gift of 348 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,400 Speaker 3: one hundred dollars will help provide four of these life 349 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 3: saving food boxes this holiday season. Please continue standing with 350 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:16,440 Speaker 3: Israel and the Jewish people. Go to support IFCJ dot 351 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:21,080 Speaker 3: org to make a gift now, that's support IFCJ dot org, 352 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,440 Speaker 3: or call to give at eight eight eight four eight 353 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 3: eight if CJ that's eight eight eight for eight eight 354 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 3: four three two five. 355 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 4: It's interesting you say that people who got you know, 356 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 4: have kids, have gotten caught up in the gender thing. 357 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:41,520 Speaker 4: You know, they're feeling vulnerable and they kind of need 358 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,199 Speaker 4: you know, I hate to say safe space, but you know, 359 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,080 Speaker 4: we do all need safe spaces sometimes, because I think 360 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 4: that the right has sort of misplayed that part of 361 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,960 Speaker 4: it with the with the gender stuff, like they're not 362 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 4: being supportive enough to parents who are suffering. They assume 363 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 4: like all parents are, like we my kids. Trends I'm 364 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 4: so popular are now and a lot of parents, I 365 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,400 Speaker 4: mean I knew parents in Brooklyn, New York and super 366 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:09,919 Speaker 4: left areas who are super struggling with their kid, you know, 367 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 4: declaring themselves trands. The school obviously wanting to reinforce that, 368 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 4: and there's nobody to kind of guide them or help 369 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 4: them or say it's you know, I love your kid, 370 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,720 Speaker 4: here's the steps you should take to help them. And 371 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 4: so it's really interesting that you mentioned that and that 372 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,160 Speaker 4: you have that support for these people. 373 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, the reason that we think that all the 374 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 2: parents are going, yay, my kid is trans is because 375 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,679 Speaker 2: those are the parents that we see on social media 376 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,160 Speaker 2: by definition, right, Yeah, and there are so many that 377 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:45,960 Speaker 2: are really scared. They're they're apprehensive, but they've also been judged, 378 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:51,920 Speaker 2: if not downright ostracized by their communities if they don't affirm. Yeah. 379 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,800 Speaker 2: I mean, that's a huge, huge issue in our community. 380 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 2: It's by no means the only thing we talk about, 381 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,919 Speaker 2: and we've got plenty of members who like don't care 382 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,919 Speaker 2: about this issue at all. It is something that brings 383 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 2: people in. I mean, interestingly, we have a lot of therapists, 384 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 2: we have you know, a lot of our women are therapists, 385 00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:12,320 Speaker 2: and they are our therapists who are not necessarily like 386 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,360 Speaker 2: affirmative care, and they are worried about within the therapy 387 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:21,359 Speaker 2: community being ostracized. They're they're really concerned about privacy. You know, 388 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,040 Speaker 2: we have even that we did internal pulling, you know, 389 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,160 Speaker 2: in the run up to the election, and you know, 390 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:31,440 Speaker 2: our members were actually pretty evenly split Harris Trump. I mean, 391 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:35,119 Speaker 2: it shifted around at different points, but it's amazing, like 392 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:38,879 Speaker 2: we are, we are divided almost straight down the middle, 393 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:45,400 Speaker 2: and we managed to get along. So rare, It's totally rare. 394 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 2: And I mean we we had some tense moments, for sure, 395 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 2: but you know, we had this incredible you know, we 396 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,359 Speaker 2: have a zoom hangout. We have we have a hangout lounge. 397 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,120 Speaker 2: It's open all the time and people can pop into 398 00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 2: the Zoom. And we were in there on election night 399 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,960 Speaker 2: and you know, watching the returns came in and a 400 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 2: lot of women were saying, you know, eight years ago, 401 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,280 Speaker 2: I would have been losing my mind. I would be hysterical, 402 00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 2: I was crying, et cetera, et cetera. And now because 403 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 2: of this group, I don't actually feel I feel calm, 404 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,080 Speaker 2: like I feel weirdly calm, like, I understand why people 405 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,199 Speaker 2: voted the way they did. These are human beings. I 406 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,960 Speaker 2: get their motivation. I see how much common ground we 407 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 2: have and it's gonna be okay. And then they're able 408 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,400 Speaker 2: to like take this energy and bring it out into 409 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,920 Speaker 2: their real lives. So that's and that's been huge for people. Amazing. 410 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 4: Can you like take this this on the road and 411 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,760 Speaker 4: help other people calm down about the election? 412 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 2: I know exactly. I mean we are on the road 413 00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,640 Speaker 2: because we have these retreats, and I will say, I mean, 414 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,400 Speaker 2: this is a women's community, and you know, I sort 415 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,239 Speaker 2: of explained some of the reasons for that, but we 416 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:53,919 Speaker 2: are starting to have events for men. We had our 417 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 2: first co ed retreat last summer in Chicago. It was great, 418 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,640 Speaker 2: although you know what was so funny the men were 419 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 2: like weirdly reserved, like they were I think they were 420 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,760 Speaker 2: so afraid of being man's plainers or something that they 421 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,240 Speaker 2: were like they were really respectful, and I was like, men, 422 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,680 Speaker 2: you know, speak up, you can talk a little more. 423 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 2: How often does that happen? 424 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,119 Speaker 4: Were they mostly like on the left or right or 425 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:19,600 Speaker 4: I would say both. 426 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,600 Speaker 2: I mean, really, you know, I will say that our 427 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,719 Speaker 2: members the vast majority of our members wanted neither Trump 428 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,800 Speaker 2: nor Harris, and so that's a lot of discussion. But 429 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 2: we certainly had people who probably voted for Trump last 430 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,400 Speaker 2: time and voted for him this time, and we had 431 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 2: people who shifted over. And it's really the thing is, 432 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,920 Speaker 2: it's like somebody can feel very much on the left 433 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 2: with one issue and much more conservative on another issue. 434 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 2: I mean, that's what heterod actually means. It's like it's 435 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,200 Speaker 2: an a la carte kind of kind of a way 436 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 2: of looking at things that I just think most people are, 437 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 2: like they just hate they hate this bifurcation. It's so toxic. 438 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 2: Fit doesn't them right, It doesn't fit like a lot 439 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:05,760 Speaker 2: of people like it's not really the way humans are 440 00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:09,120 Speaker 2: supposed to organize their brains, you know what I mean, 441 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 2: what do you worry about? I worry about people just 442 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,679 Speaker 2: staying so much in their echo chambers that they have 443 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,960 Speaker 2: no grip on reality. I mean, it's already happening to 444 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 2: see our friends melting down on TikTok and like these 445 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,919 Speaker 2: women shaving their heads, if anyone's even actually doing this, 446 00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:30,200 Speaker 2: like I have yet to know if like these people 447 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 2: falling apart on TikTok are actually real. Yeah, I'm really 448 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,720 Speaker 2: worried about like the mental health of people who don't 449 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 2: actually know what's happening. Yeah, in the world, like they 450 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:47,159 Speaker 2: really they have like this weird fantasy version. They're like 451 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,639 Speaker 2: as if we're all going to be rounded up and 452 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,840 Speaker 2: taken to Handmaid's tail land. 453 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 4: Yeahs if government could do anything that efficient, yeah, exactly 454 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 4: would that they could? 455 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,520 Speaker 2: No, I mean, I just there's there's a kind of 456 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 2: like cosplay element to a lot of this, and it's 457 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:06,680 Speaker 2: very performative, and but it's that's what the algorithm favors. 458 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:10,560 Speaker 2: I mean, you know, as an independent media person that 459 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 2: it's a lot easier to get clicks if you are hysterical. Absolutely, 460 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,720 Speaker 2: and that has never been my way. So I'm just 461 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 2: worried about that dynamic reinforcing itself. So, yeah, that is 462 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:24,639 Speaker 2: what I worry about. 463 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,119 Speaker 4: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self? 464 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,480 Speaker 2: Okay, this is the advice I would give my sixteen 465 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 2: year old self. I would I would change my name. 466 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,160 Speaker 2: I would change my last name. So there has been 467 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,520 Speaker 2: all this confusion about how to pronounce my last name, 468 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,200 Speaker 2: and I caused it, but I haven't I haven't Yeah, 469 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,679 Speaker 2: it was a dom as a down and that's a 470 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,199 Speaker 2: conversation for another time. Yeah, I wish I had just, 471 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 2: well maybe when I was eighteen, just have a professional name, 472 00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,440 Speaker 2: you know. Would also I would tell myself that I'm 473 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 2: not nearly as fat as as I think. 474 00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:59,680 Speaker 4: I that's every since it's not fat at all. 475 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:04,680 Speaker 2: We knew God were we domb? Oh? My god? 476 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:05,880 Speaker 4: So what would you? What name? 477 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 2: Would you choose? Anything? I have thought of so many names, 478 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,680 Speaker 2: just you know, some some family name that's just easier. 479 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 2: There's there's plenty of normal uh Irish family names in there. 480 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,679 Speaker 4: So I mean somebody who's always had to spell my 481 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 4: first and last name. Even when I had made a name, 482 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,040 Speaker 4: it was also unspellable. 483 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 2: I get it. 484 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,240 Speaker 4: But then on the other hand, I'm like, it's interesting, 485 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,720 Speaker 4: it's not Smith. It's you know, not that there's anything 486 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 4: wrong with Smith's me. Yeah, but yeah, I don't know. 487 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,360 Speaker 4: I feel like I would talk that sixteen year old 488 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:34,960 Speaker 4: Magan Dowmn out of changing her name. 489 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, well that would be a good that'd 490 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:40,080 Speaker 2: be a good exercise. Yeah, I guess I would just uh, 491 00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:42,919 Speaker 2: you know, I would just say to myself, you're not 492 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,720 Speaker 2: as messed up as you think you are, and I 493 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:45,760 Speaker 2: wasn't even you know. 494 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,959 Speaker 4: Yeah, do all teenagers think they're messed up? 495 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:49,560 Speaker 2: Or did you? 496 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:49,760 Speaker 4: Well? 497 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,439 Speaker 2: Especially now? I mean we felt that way and we 498 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,480 Speaker 2: didn't even have social media, right, we were wrong, we 499 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:59,000 Speaker 2: were Oh my god? Yeah yeah yeah. 500 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,399 Speaker 4: So I've loved this. I love your group. It sounds 501 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 4: amazing the Unspeakeasy and I encourage everybody listening to check 502 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 4: out Unspeakable. It's your podcast, She's so fantastic. Leave us 503 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 4: here with your best tip for my listeners on how 504 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:16,240 Speaker 4: they can improve their lives. 505 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,520 Speaker 2: Howkay they can improve their lives? This is so banal. 506 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 2: I feel like I've given you the most projectic tips. Okay, 507 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 2: the best ones. This is the best one here. 508 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,119 Speaker 4: Like, the best tip I think that I've heard the 509 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,880 Speaker 4: most about is the very first, my very first episode, 510 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,199 Speaker 4: Buck Sexton said, read before bed, Read before bed, and 511 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 4: everybody writes in like, oh you know that reading before 512 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 4: bed really changed my life. 513 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:40,160 Speaker 2: Okay, that's a good one. I'm going to say this. 514 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:44,879 Speaker 2: Get your car detailed. Get your car detailed, you know 515 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,120 Speaker 2: how like sometimes you feel like I'm want a new car, 516 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 2: I'm sick in my car. No, no, no, all you 517 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,600 Speaker 2: have to do once a year, pay three hundred dollars. 518 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,240 Speaker 2: I don't know where you live, two hundred dollars, take 519 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,359 Speaker 2: it in for three or four hours. They will basically 520 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,800 Speaker 2: give you a new car car that you take out 521 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,240 Speaker 2: will It will smell like a new car, it will 522 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,359 Speaker 2: be gleaming, you won't even recognize your own car, and 523 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 2: you will have paid hardly anything compared to even thinking 524 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,800 Speaker 2: about buying a new car. And you'll be happy. 525 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,280 Speaker 4: This is such a great tip. I'm actually gonna do 526 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,520 Speaker 4: this because my car is a mess. I've been needing 527 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:19,040 Speaker 4: a car wash. 528 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 2: I may as well just take it for detailing. Do 529 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,400 Speaker 2: it. It will change your life. 530 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,639 Speaker 4: I'm ready to have my life changed. Thank you so much, Megan. 531 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 4: This has been such a fun conversation. Check out her podcast, 532 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,240 Speaker 4: check out her events. I think this is such a 533 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 4: cool idea that you're doing, and I encourage everybody to 534 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,120 Speaker 4: check it out The Unspeakable podcast. The events are called 535 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 4: on Speakeasy. Thank you so much, Hagan, Thank you Carol, 536 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 4: thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Market 537 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 4: which show subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.