Speaker 1: Hell I Suck Dating with the Dart Radio podcast. Hey,
Speaker 1: welcome to help I Suck at Dating. I'm Jared, uh
Speaker 1: you know that, joined by Dean Angler. Of course, we
Speaker 1: have a very special episode coming up. We have some
Speaker 1: very special guess geese. Oh man, maybe I have some
Speaker 1: pregnancy brain too. We have some very special guests from
Speaker 1: the we TV show Love After Lockdown, which airs Friday's. Uh.
Speaker 1: That should be pretty interesting, which is quite ironic because
Speaker 1: we just had the girl on the podcast a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago, Dean that wrote a book about relationships
Speaker 1: in prison, And now we have two guests that are
Speaker 1: in relationships with prisoners. We have Rachel and we have
Speaker 1: Brittany coming on now. Rachel's dating Doug uh and Brittany's
Speaker 1: dating Ray, who were imprey into on the show, and
Speaker 1: I think are still in prison. I don't know if
Speaker 1: they've gotten released, since I don't know when this was filmed,
Speaker 1: so I'm assuming they're still behind bars. So weird to
Speaker 1: talk about, Like it's like, I hope they're doing well. Uh.
Speaker 1: Any who, nice little segue. We still have our Suck
Speaker 1: Army Summer coming up Friday July from seven to eight
Speaker 1: o'clock Eastern Standard time four to five Pacific time, which,
Speaker 1: of course, you can buy tickets right now on looped
Speaker 1: live dot com. Which come on, guys, if you're still
Speaker 1: suck a dating, we're here to help. Now. You can
Speaker 1: join us for a one on one. We're doing a
Speaker 1: little meat and greet virtual style, of course, because we're
Speaker 1: still kind of in a pandemic. You can get a
Speaker 1: little dating advice from Dean, maybe a little bit from me,
Speaker 1: but Dean's way better out about it. You can enjoy
Speaker 1: love in the upcoming summer, which we all know is
Speaker 1: gonna be lots of love going on because while the
Speaker 1: pandemic is slowing down, people are ready to get out
Speaker 1: there and mingle and listen. And if all else fail
Speaker 1: else you can at least, you know, get a photo
Speaker 1: with us for Instagram. That's pretty cool too, Probably not really,
Speaker 1: but anyway, suck Army Summer Friday, July eight, Eastern Standard time,
Speaker 1: four to five Pacific. Get your tickets right now looped
Speaker 1: live dot com. Deaners, we have some hot topics coming
Speaker 1: in Tristan Thompson from the Boston Celtics, which is weird apparently.
Speaker 1: Tristan Thompson threatened lamar Odom for flirting with Chloe Kardashian
Speaker 1: over some sort of bikini picture that she posted. I
Speaker 1: don't know what the hell is going on, but there's
Speaker 1: like a little bit of a love triangle breath between
Speaker 1: these two. So lamar Odom used to be with Chloe Kardashian.
Speaker 1: All right, do you know who Chloe Kardashian is? All right,
Speaker 1: Ashley's like laughing in the background. I can hear her.
Speaker 1: Not everybody knows who Chloe Kardashian is. Uh, So she
Speaker 1: was with lamar Odom, who's a basketball player, and then
Speaker 1: she was with Tristan Thompson. I'm not sure if they
Speaker 1: were married, but they had a kid together. Tristan Thompson,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure has cheated on her twice. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I I don't think they're together anymore, which is why
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think they might be together. I
Speaker 1: don't really know what the hell is going on. I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure they're not together. Okay, let me, Ashley, Why
Speaker 1: is Tristan Thompson threatening lamar Odom? Then? See this is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: So apparently Tristan Thompson and Koli Kardashian are not together anymore,
Speaker 1: so he has no right to threaten lamar Odom if
Speaker 1: he's flirting with his ex. But apparently Chloe posted a
Speaker 1: bikini photo on her Instagram, and of course lamar he
Speaker 1: commented something like, uh, you know hottie with like the
Speaker 1: fire Emogencis and the hard eyes. Good God, Like, come on, now,
Speaker 1: what are we do when we're seventeen years old? But anyway,
Speaker 1: then Tristan Thompson went on and he replied at lamar Odom,
Speaker 1: God brought you back the first time. Play if you
Speaker 1: want different results? Is that really a threat? That's it?
Speaker 1: That's like this is all about come on now. It's
Speaker 1: like pretty much the saying if lamar Odom wants to
Speaker 1: get back in basketball, Tristan Thompson is going to take
Speaker 1: him out. That's so stupid. That's such an NBA fight.
Speaker 1: That's like such an NBA thing to say. I feel
Speaker 1: like just listening to the description of what's going on
Speaker 1: with this is making my brain dissolve into complete nothingness.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, pretty much. I feel dumber as we speak
Speaker 1: as well. But our our producer, Hannah, thank god, she's
Speaker 1: here for contacts context, so I forgot lamar Odom at
Speaker 1: one point was in a coma and almost died. I
Speaker 1: don't know what he was in a coma from, but
Speaker 1: that's what Christan Thompson is referring to. Now it makes
Speaker 1: a little bit more sense. He said, God brought you
Speaker 1: back the first time from the coma play if you
Speaker 1: want different results with like the little shrug emoji, like, no,
Speaker 1: I don't know. It looks like me when my math
Speaker 1: teacher asked me where my homework was in eighth grade.
Speaker 1: It's like, I don't know. So so he's gonna kill him,
Speaker 1: is what he's said. Putting back in a colma. Maybe
Speaker 1: do you have any thoughts, any cares about this, any
Speaker 1: fs to give? I mean, I want to care for
Speaker 1: the sake of the conversation, um, but I just don't. Don't.
Speaker 1: I don't, I really don't. I don't care at all.
Speaker 1: I hate all that. I hate the Kardashians. You hate
Speaker 1: the k Yes, absolutely, I think I've been pretty vocal
Speaker 1: about that in the past. Calin loves them that she
Speaker 1: watches the show sometimes, so ilexit and watch with her
Speaker 1: and like, yeah, I can kind of see how they
Speaker 1: could be like mindless entertainment. But the fact that they're
Speaker 1: like idolized as much as they are is just so
Speaker 1: frustrating um as a society. I could do better. But
Speaker 1: that's my take. Yeah, No, I totally agree we give
Speaker 1: power to the wrong people. Having said that, I will
Speaker 1: give them credit because I do feel like their business
Speaker 1: Mongols like Chris Jenner, she's done a pretty mongols. Isn't
Speaker 1: that a positive thing? To be fair? I just said
Speaker 1: mongle thinking it was, you know, a compliment. What does
Speaker 1: a Mongol mean? A Mongol is a person from the
Speaker 1: country of Mongolia, former country Mongolia. Could be mistaken on that.
Speaker 1: Mogul is what your okay, what's a mogul. It's like
Speaker 1: a bit like a mogul. Yeah, like business mogul is
Speaker 1: like the top like you know, like I guess I
Speaker 1: don't know exactly what what the cynema synonym is there for,
Speaker 1: but yeah, so she guys, I was one letter off.
Speaker 1: That's not really that bad, especially coming from the Rhode
Speaker 1: Island public school system. But I digress. I actually respect
Speaker 1: the Kardashians because I was talking to this guy Dax
Speaker 1: Holt one time from TMZ and he he was on
Speaker 1: the podcast. I don't know if you remember Dax at all.
Speaker 1: But he he said, it's so much listening. He said,
Speaker 1: it's so much harder to be famous just for being famous,
Speaker 1: which again, listen like you and I, I mean, you
Speaker 1: have many skills. I don't have that many skills, And
Speaker 1: for some reason, people care, like even about zero skills. Tiny.
Speaker 1: I'm like a negative. Actually I'm halfway decent at softball,
Speaker 1: and I feel like that brings me down a few pigs.
Speaker 1: But I digress. People care about our baby announcement. Why
Speaker 1: I don't know, but it's similar. That's why I hate.
Speaker 1: I don't like hating on the Kardashians, because like, we're
Speaker 1: kinda in a small boat, like a similar boat, a
Speaker 1: very small boat compared to them. They're in a yacht.
Speaker 1: We're in like, you know, one of those called that
Speaker 1: those like um dinghies. We're in a dinghy together, Dean.
Speaker 1: I agree, I know. I see, I see you're saying.
Speaker 1: I agree. We are uh in similar waters but different ships.
Speaker 1: I guess it's kind of the analogy you're going for it,
Speaker 1: and I agree. I I don't disagree. I I also
Speaker 1: think that, uh, you know, a lot of us shouldn't
Speaker 1: have the platform that we do, but yet here we are,
Speaker 1: like you said, talking to whoever wants to listen to
Speaker 1: this podcast, wherever they might be listening at. So I mean,
Speaker 1: I see your point. Um, I just think that you know,
Speaker 1: as as much of moguls as they are, they just
Speaker 1: do they said, a bad example for the youth of
Speaker 1: America and the youth of the world, and just kind
Speaker 1: of frustmans frustrates me a little bit. But but you're right.
Speaker 1: I agree they're I mean, they're sticking around. They got
Speaker 1: staying power, they got star power. I think all we
Speaker 1: have to do, Jared, in order to get up to
Speaker 1: that level, has come out with a sex tape of
Speaker 1: our own, and perhaps we could be catapulted to the
Speaker 1: level of that trajectory. But um, yeah, I guess we'll
Speaker 1: never know. I know people from Bachelor that got offered
Speaker 1: to do a sex tape for money. Wait, yeah, it
Speaker 1: was that great. It was not us. It was not us,
Speaker 1: And I won't say who it is. We need way
Speaker 1: more information. I don't see who it was, but tell us, like,
Speaker 1: what were they offered. I don't know exactly, but it
Speaker 1: was a good amount of money, but it was not
Speaker 1: enough for them to do it, and it was it
Speaker 1: was years. Interesting, so very interesting. I'll talk was it
Speaker 1: a man or a woman? It was a man and
Speaker 1: a woman. I know, very interesting stuff, guys, But unfortunately
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let me ask let me ask you well,
Speaker 1: so obviously we'll just let our listeners speculate on who
Speaker 1: they might think it is. Let me ask you this,
Speaker 1: how much would it offer out to be for you
Speaker 1: to do with something like that? Ashley and I've talked
Speaker 1: about it. We joked around about it. I think it
Speaker 1: was like ten mill and it was pretty good. That's
Speaker 1: like generational wealth more or less right there? Oh my god.
Speaker 1: But then yeah, honestly, if our parents, you know, if
Speaker 1: our parents ever saw it, I'd be like, guys, we
Speaker 1: got paid ten million dollars to do this, and then
Speaker 1: be like, okay, that kind of makes sense. Maybe I
Speaker 1: would have done it too, I could. I could see
Speaker 1: you and actually getting like a nice uh like a
Speaker 1: nice Trojan condom deal or something, right, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: unfortunately a little bit too big, But I digress. We
Speaker 1: have some very special guests who are waiting for us
Speaker 1: right now. Now. Rachel and Brittany from Love After a
Speaker 1: lock Up, which is of course on we TV, is
Speaker 1: joining us right after this break. Hey, welcome back to
Speaker 1: help I second dating Dean. Myself of course are here,
Speaker 1: but we have two very special guests from the show
Speaker 1: on we TV, which airs Friday's Love After lock Up.
Speaker 1: It is Brittany and Rachel. Brittan and Rachel, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for coming on. How are you? Brittan will
Speaker 1: start with you. How are you great? How are you guys?
Speaker 1: We're doing well? Rachel, how are you? I am super excited.
Speaker 1: I'm doing well. How are you guys? Oh, we're doing
Speaker 1: just dandy. So listen. Of course we have to ask
Speaker 1: you guys about Love After lock Up. So Rachel, I'll
Speaker 1: start with you. You are with Doug on the show. Uh,
Speaker 1: and this is not your first time dating a prisoner,
Speaker 1: Am I right? You're absolutely right. Like I've been accusing
Speaker 1: the in the past in my single days. I'm married
Speaker 1: now and we're expecting a child, but I've been accusing
Speaker 1: the past of like having a thing for bartenders, Like
Speaker 1: anytime I go into a bar, my friends are like,
Speaker 1: you always find the bartenders super attractive. So is that
Speaker 1: kind of like your thing or your friends like you
Speaker 1: just love inmates, that's your thing? You know, it's a
Speaker 1: funny journey. I think everybody kind of just has a
Speaker 1: type in our taste evolves over time. If that makes
Speaker 1: any sense. You'll be like, oh, let me just date
Speaker 1: like you know, I'm into the attorney saying, let me
Speaker 1: date like five attorneys, or let me date the guy
Speaker 1: that likes to skateboard or the person who likes to
Speaker 1: climb rocks or whatever, you know what I mean, whatever
Speaker 1: it is, I guess. Yeah, it kind of fell in
Speaker 1: that way, and it kind of I just kind of,
Speaker 1: I don't know, stuck with me, I guess, And look
Speaker 1: where I am. Yeah, absolutely, I got questions for Rachel
Speaker 1: because we gotta we gotta get to the beginning of
Speaker 1: that a little bit more so, this is your third
Speaker 1: relationship with an inmate. Tell us, can you tell us
Speaker 1: like how the first two started and then how this
Speaker 1: one started as well, just at like my own curiosity. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I will try to keep the story short as possible.
Speaker 1: But I did date someone who had a prison background
Speaker 1: in the free world, that which was by first encounter. Um,
Speaker 1: he was different. I'd never dated anybody like him, and
Speaker 1: you know, it was kind of scary looking. Tattoos on
Speaker 1: the face, tattoo all over the body. But we had
Speaker 1: really fun, passionate sex. We had a great relationship and
Speaker 1: it was fun, and I just, you know, I enjoyed
Speaker 1: what we had for the time that we had because
Speaker 1: sadly he had suddenly passed away. Yeah, this prediction. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So after that, and I didn't know anything about addiction.
Speaker 1: I don't have addiction. I um empathize with it greatly,
Speaker 1: but I was really angry at myself for never noticing
Speaker 1: and recognizing the signs of it. So after that, I
Speaker 1: just started getting really involved into that community by trying
Speaker 1: to give back and trying to um make sure that
Speaker 1: something like that never happened to somebody else ever again.
Speaker 1: So you know, it was part of my grieving process.
Speaker 1: It was part of the way that I was trying
Speaker 1: to deal with his passing. And I, I guess it's
Speaker 1: just something that was like, you know, I knew where
Speaker 1: to find it now, so maybe I can find something better,
Speaker 1: something lasting, something drug free. Um okay, I guess it
Speaker 1: was just the way of of me coping with grief.
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, that's understandable. Yeah, because my my second relationship,
Speaker 1: my husband at the time, did struggle with addiction, and
Speaker 1: I thought that was something that I could help with,
Speaker 1: which has nothing absolutely to do with me whatsoever. I
Speaker 1: learned that and I realized that that was that was,
Speaker 1: that was enough of that relationship, and it was time
Speaker 1: for me to move on. Gotcha. So so for the
Speaker 1: most of these relationships, you're meeting them out of prison
Speaker 1: and then one way or another day will find a
Speaker 1: way back or how does it work. I missed a
Speaker 1: little bit of details too, so because of my first
Speaker 1: inmate relationship that was in the free world and we
Speaker 1: met on normal conditions through a date whatever. You know.
Speaker 1: He had always talked about how it bothered him that
Speaker 1: his family never wrote him, people never visited him. So
Speaker 1: that was also another part of my grieving process was
Speaker 1: to try to think that maybe there's somebody out there
Speaker 1: that would like to correspond to somebody. So I felt
Speaker 1: like I was doing something nice for somebody else and
Speaker 1: trying to just be an ear or a pin power
Speaker 1: or whatever to support and do something that I would
Speaker 1: think that he would have wanted me to do, if
Speaker 1: that makes sense. So that was why I chucked out, like, well,
Speaker 1: maybe there's somebody out there who feels very misguided even
Speaker 1: though like my life isn't altogether. Maybe I can try
Speaker 1: and just maybe listen to somebody else too. None of
Speaker 1: our lives are together, I'll tell you that much. Uh
Speaker 1: did you meet Doug? Was you met Doug before he
Speaker 1: went to prison? Right? No? He meant him in prison,
Speaker 1: that's right. Yeah, Um, how did that happen? So that's
Speaker 1: why I said, I had no idea that there was
Speaker 1: ever even a pen pall website. So that was my
Speaker 1: first time trolling through that. Um it was called writer
Speaker 1: prisoner dot com. It makes them put themselves up on
Speaker 1: there to try to get correspondence from people, and honestly,
Speaker 1: it's pretty interesting some of these people's bios that are
Speaker 1: on there, just looking for hey, how are you. I
Speaker 1: just want to talk to someone and tell them about
Speaker 1: their you know, crappy day or where they were that
Speaker 1: they would rather be. So whatever. It was long story short,
Speaker 1: scrolling through the profiles and I'm like, this one is
Speaker 1: kind of cute. Let me write them. So that's just
Speaker 1: kind of what I did. But under the preconditions that
Speaker 1: it was only friendship. That was the first thing that
Speaker 1: I said, This is a friendship. Where you at where
Speaker 1: you had it? What do you? What are you trying
Speaker 1: to do with your life. Do you have any goals?
Speaker 1: Do you want to go to school? Do you want
Speaker 1: to you know, how are you trying to improve your
Speaker 1: self type thing? And that was like the basis of
Speaker 1: our conversation and with me being me, just talking, being
Speaker 1: totally casual. You know, two weeks later it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I think I love you and I was like, wait, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'll killed it out. It chilled out this think that
Speaker 1: like you got your in your twenties, you needed experiment
Speaker 1: with other women, try their things, like build that part
Speaker 1: of your life in before you think you want to
Speaker 1: settle down with someone like me. So yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it adds a whole bunch of new dynamics to a relationship.
Speaker 1: And this is which gears a little bit Brittany. So, Brittany,
Speaker 1: you're with Ray, that's right, and you guys, kind of
Speaker 1: what's your backstory? You've been Ray? Brittany? Oh yeah, so,
Speaker 1: um Ran I actually met on Facebook. He has a
Speaker 1: Facebook page. You can't really you can't tell it all
Speaker 1: that he's in jail. It's just a normal Facebook page.
Speaker 1: Or he had his cell phone while he was in prison.
Speaker 1: He was not opposed to so he slid in my
Speaker 1: b MS and he waked and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm at work, my second job, chilling on board.
Speaker 1: I'm waked back, and then we just kind of started
Speaker 1: talking from there. And then how long did it take
Speaker 1: before you found out that, oh, you're in prison right now?
Speaker 1: Well he actually told me that in the first conversation,
Speaker 1: but he said it kind of weird. He was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a little lockdown right now. I was like, what
Speaker 1: do you mean, like lock down at word lockdown? Like
Speaker 1: what do you mean lockdown? And then he was like fed.
Speaker 1: And then I'm thinking, if you're the fas, you don't
Speaker 1: have a cell phone? Boys, shut up. So we just
Speaker 1: like switched gears onto a different subject. So then he
Speaker 1: was like, do you mind if I video chat and
Speaker 1: call you. I was like, cool, okay, so set up
Speaker 1: the video chat. It looks like he's in a restroom
Speaker 1: or this brick wall behind him. You could I could already.
Speaker 1: I was like, are you in a hospital at bath room?
Speaker 1: Where are you? And it's loud and prison it so loud,
Speaker 1: like the guys are screaming. I was like, you're in jail.
Speaker 1: You're in jail for real? Huh, how do you have
Speaker 1: this cell phone? You know? So I kind of got scared.
Speaker 1: I did, and I was like, all right, you can't
Speaker 1: be calling me. They might get your phone track my number.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get in trouble. So we kind
Speaker 1: of back back off of that and continue to message,
Speaker 1: like here and there, just kept building up and building
Speaker 1: up itself. Here we are now. So I know that
Speaker 1: you're your your family, specifically, your mom has had a
Speaker 1: little bit of a difficult time with this. UM you know,
Speaker 1: what is your Do you think that your mom will
Speaker 1: ever change your opinion about the relationship you and have. UM, No,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think she'll ever change her opinion,
Speaker 1: especially because how it started, where it was and the
Speaker 1: obstacles he'll have to cross, um basically starting his life over.
Speaker 1: And I'm like pretty much in the middle of mine now,
Speaker 1: I'm thirty four years old, So she kind of thinks
Speaker 1: I need to be with somebody more established. I respect
Speaker 1: what she's saying, but UM, if you guys stay tuned
Speaker 1: and follow up, you'll see how she kind of maybe
Speaker 1: or maybe not comes around, but it gets pretty intense. Well,
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask about that because, you know, we
Speaker 1: have a lot of people who ask us, you know,
Speaker 1: how important is it for parental uh you know, uh
Speaker 1: acceptance when dating someone, Because we have a lot of
Speaker 1: emailers say I love this person, but you know, my
Speaker 1: my mom, my dad, sister, my best friend, they do
Speaker 1: not approve and they're seeing something that I don't see. UM.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to talk to you a little bit
Speaker 1: about how difficult it is to navigate a relationship where
Speaker 1: you're with some one who you know you love, but
Speaker 1: you have somebody that you also love telling you this
Speaker 1: might not work out. Yeah, that's that's extremely difficult, especially
Speaker 1: when you're in like a close, tight knit family. I
Speaker 1: think I go to my parents hosp for dinner like
Speaker 1: four or five times a week. We're always getting together
Speaker 1: on the weekends. We're like best friends, my sisters, my brother,
Speaker 1: you know, we're always together. So I found it hard
Speaker 1: to How can I be in two places at once
Speaker 1: if my mom is saying I don't want him at
Speaker 1: my house, I don't want anything to do with him,
Speaker 1: and then there's a family get together that of course
Speaker 1: I don't want to miss. So it's really hard. My
Speaker 1: just my take on that is my mom does not
Speaker 1: believe in a lot of talk, Like I could sit
Speaker 1: here over and over and tell her how great Ray
Speaker 1: is and all the plans he has. She's more of
Speaker 1: like a show me person. So I think people can
Speaker 1: get through those obstacles if they really believe in their partner,
Speaker 1: and you know, just by being patient and just letting
Speaker 1: it happened, Like you know, eventually people will start to
Speaker 1: see like, oh, I see what she loves them definitely, Rachel, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wanted to kind of come back to you and
Speaker 1: talk about I don't I'm not sure exactly what your
Speaker 1: family or your friends think about you dating someone who's
Speaker 1: currently in prison, but obviously this is your third go
Speaker 1: around with this, so they must be a little accustomed
Speaker 1: to it. So how do how do you navigate that?
Speaker 1: Because I'm sure you've had some pushback with people saying, hey, don't,
Speaker 1: don't go after this person, they need to get their
Speaker 1: own life together. That's percent true. I have gone through
Speaker 1: those childs and tribulations. I have had family members completely
Speaker 1: cut me off and be done with me, and that
Speaker 1: support me, and I understand that I respect it and
Speaker 1: I give them their space. I you know, my life
Speaker 1: decisions doesn't have to be accepted by everybody, so I
Speaker 1: have I have to respect that. Like I am literally
Speaker 1: putting myself in a very risque, messy position, so why
Speaker 1: would I want? I mean, But at the same time,
Speaker 1: like I've never didged anybody else for who they wanted
Speaker 1: to be with. If it's what made them happy, I'm
Speaker 1: there to support that. But people are so used to
Speaker 1: me being mess I guess don't worry about that one.
Speaker 1: They're either with me for the ride or they're not,
Speaker 1: and it's okay, And I accepted. There's like I said,
Speaker 1: you know, there's eight billion people in the world, someone
Speaker 1: else who want to be my friend. And you know,
Speaker 1: family is kind of what you make it sometimes, you know.
Speaker 1: But I mean, I still my parents hunter percent have
Speaker 1: always had me my back, so that's grateful to them. Um,
Speaker 1: I know I've caused them a lot of stress and
Speaker 1: gray hair and um maybe sleepless nights at times, but
Speaker 1: there still there for me. And that's kind of all
Speaker 1: that matters, is like my you know, that's part of
Speaker 1: the ride, right there, isn't it. You know, the ups
Speaker 1: and downs which we all go through. And you and
Speaker 1: both you, you know, Rachel and Brittany, you both have
Speaker 1: kind of voluntarily put yourself in long distance relationships a
Speaker 1: little bit. So I'll start with you, Brittany, how do
Speaker 1: you plan, you know, alone time? How do you make
Speaker 1: sure that you guys are working on the relationship together, Because,
Speaker 1: as we all know, relationships take work, they take effort.
Speaker 1: And now you guys are not only in a long
Speaker 1: distance relationship, but you're in a relationship with someone that
Speaker 1: it's very difficult to have that quality time that you
Speaker 1: need to have in relationship. So I'll start with you, Bertie,
Speaker 1: how do you guys, how do you in ray make
Speaker 1: sure that happens. Um. The only way really we could
Speaker 1: make sure that happens is just communication. Like we have
Speaker 1: a schedule where we talk, we have a schedule where
Speaker 1: we based come when we email. We have to just
Speaker 1: really communicate and we talk about everything, like it's not
Speaker 1: always just about just the relationship, is about like goals
Speaker 1: and what's going on in my life or what's going on,
Speaker 1: you know in the prison. Like it's just conversation about everything.
Speaker 1: So communication is the only way to make this work. Ye,
Speaker 1: what about you, Rachel Um? You know, oh yeah, it's
Speaker 1: absolutely communication and just being transparent with one another. But
Speaker 1: you know, like every relationship, you have your ups in
Speaker 1: your downs, and I definitely have to keep tuning in
Speaker 1: to see, Yeah, you don't want to spoil anything. I
Speaker 1: get that. I hate when we're not able to spoil
Speaker 1: things because I've got a lot of pressing questions for
Speaker 1: stuff that's gonna be spoiled in the show. I guess
Speaker 1: at some point I wonder if you guys can answer
Speaker 1: this though, So what do you guys? Do we know
Speaker 1: how much longer Doug and Ray sentences are for? Like,
Speaker 1: what's kind of the long term goal for the relationship
Speaker 1: do you think for both of you guys? So right now,
Speaker 1: in the last episode, you saw Always drop Ray off
Speaker 1: at the halfway house. So that's where we are with that.
Speaker 1: When Ray was released, he has to have an angle monitor,
Speaker 1: you know, that might have been a little spoiler, and
Speaker 1: he has to also be on Superrise like parole, so
Speaker 1: three years of that, so there's still some time dealing.
Speaker 1: You know, Well, he'll always forever deal with the system
Speaker 1: because he's a convicted fell in now, but it's just
Speaker 1: you know, now we got to now we've got to
Speaker 1: deal with the po It's not bad, Rachel. Yeah, Um,
Speaker 1: for jog and I, uh, let's see, he's been released
Speaker 1: from prison and now he is on an ankle monitor
Speaker 1: where he needs to be home by five pm every
Speaker 1: single day and he's not allowed to leave the house
Speaker 1: on the weekends. Um. Yeah, he's not glad to have alcohol,
Speaker 1: r be seen in bars and things like that. So
Speaker 1: this is gonna be a new well adjusted journey to
Speaker 1: see him, um try to cope from being locked into
Speaker 1: a prison cell to being like I've got literally like
Speaker 1: eight hours to do what i need to get done
Speaker 1: and be back to the house. Yeah. Yeah, totally, especially
Speaker 1: with like so much temptations. You know, there's not that
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's temptations in prison, but not nearly as
Speaker 1: much as they're in real life, where like you said,
Speaker 1: like he's not supposed to go to a bar, and
Speaker 1: it's like, well, I want to go to a bar,
Speaker 1: like I want to drink. You know, it's stuff. It's
Speaker 1: an interesting and interesting flip from going from them spending
Speaker 1: all the time in prisoner only having to communicate through
Speaker 1: cell phone and email, to then having them around the
Speaker 1: house a percent of the time. It's like a you know,
Speaker 1: it's kind of one extreme to the next sort of thing.
Speaker 1: But I will say, uh, from someone that comes from
Speaker 1: a family, some of my family members have had inkle
Speaker 1: monitors when I was growing up, and some of my
Speaker 1: best friends from college also had inkle monitors in college
Speaker 1: with me, So I I mean, I can attest it.
Speaker 1: It's definitely like a mentally taxing experience that that that
Speaker 1: it puts them through. But both of the people that
Speaker 1: I'm close with came out of it a better person
Speaker 1: because of it too. So um, there's definitely a good
Speaker 1: light at the end of the tunnel for all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. Well, Brittany and Rachel, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us. We really appreciate it. Um. Once again,
Speaker 1: everybody go check out Love After lock Up, which of
Speaker 1: course airs on we TV Friday's. Uh, you can catch
Speaker 1: Rachel and Brittany on there. And once again, ladies, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us. Best of luck with
Speaker 1: your endeavors and best of luck in your relationships. What
Speaker 1: is going on? Everyone, welcome back to help I suck
Speaker 1: at dating. Fortunately you're not corre ordered to listen to
Speaker 1: this podcast, so thanks for sticking with us because we
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. It's time for It's time for our
Speaker 1: favorite set well, my favorite segment of this podcast, which uh,
Speaker 1: you know, these technical are so stop that jingle has
Speaker 1: to come in. Hopefully the mic has been going better
Speaker 1: this time too. But anyways, we're gonna get the emails.
Speaker 1: We've got a couple of juicy ones. Actually even an
Speaker 1: email from an old familiar name. You guys are gonna hear.
Speaker 1: But Mark, Mark, if you are willing enough to read it,
Speaker 1: I guess we could have you go for it if
Speaker 1: you're down. I know, I know you're a busy guy
Speaker 1: over there. I'm very busy, Thank you very much. We're
Speaker 1: going with anonymous first, of course, all right, Well nextually,
Speaker 1: as I've been hooking up with this guy for the
Speaker 1: past few weeks. Um. We had a physical relationship before COVID,
Speaker 1: but stopped seeing each other and didn't talk most of
Speaker 1: us two when everything was locked down. Now that we've
Speaker 1: started hooking up again, everything seems different. He's way more
Speaker 1: intentional than it was in the past. He calls me
Speaker 1: every day, trying to hang out multiple times a week,
Speaker 1: takes me to dinner, other things. We didn't do any
Speaker 1: of those things in the past, and I considered myself
Speaker 1: a hunter percent single because there was no guilt, no shame,
Speaker 1: no nothing. Was flirting and hooking up with other guys
Speaker 1: was all fine, But now that he's acting more interested
Speaker 1: in us, I'm confused. So I asked him, I said,
Speaker 1: how would you feel if I hooked up with someone else?
Speaker 1: And he said, well, you're still single, that what you
Speaker 1: want doesn't change anything with us. I'm still gonna want
Speaker 1: to spend time with you and hook up even if
Speaker 1: we decided to go that route. I take his words
Speaker 1: as the truth, but I can't help wondering if he's
Speaker 1: testing me. And do you guys think I need to
Speaker 1: tell him if I do end up looking with someone else. Uh?
Speaker 1: I think you should definitely tell him if you hope,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I think that's definitely the first
Speaker 1: thing to establish is if you do hook up with
Speaker 1: someone and then you want to hook up with him again.
Speaker 1: He's definitely know about that, So go ahead and make that.
Speaker 1: Put that check in the definitely call him. I don't
Speaker 1: know what do you think about this, Yeared, because I
Speaker 1: my first instinct is I almost think that Anonymous should
Speaker 1: consider herself lucky, because I feel like typically it's the
Speaker 1: flip version of this, where it's the girl that wants
Speaker 1: things to get serious, and the guy that's kind of like,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't really want to do that. But
Speaker 1: it sounds like in this case, the guy is kind
Speaker 1: of the one that's like, you know, this is what
Speaker 1: I want. He's kind of like it's based off of
Speaker 1: the very very limited information that we have, it seems
Speaker 1: like he's kind of like being patient, letting you take
Speaker 1: your time, not putting any pressure on you. So just
Speaker 1: based off all that information, in my head, it sounds
Speaker 1: like he seems like a pretty good guy. And so
Speaker 1: maybe I don't know, maybe you should give him a
Speaker 1: real chance, But I don't know. What do you think, Jared? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess it really comes down to what what does
Speaker 1: anonymous want? Do you want to be in a relationship
Speaker 1: or do you not want to be in a relationship,
Speaker 1: Because if you want to be in one, I would
Speaker 1: say try to pursue one with this guy. He seems
Speaker 1: very into you. You guys go out multiple times, he
Speaker 1: calls you. He's being very intentional towards you. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's you guys go out to dinner. It does see
Speaker 1: me like you guys are kind of boyfriend girlfriend without
Speaker 1: being boyfriend girlfriend and for him to be so understanding
Speaker 1: of you saying, hey, I might hook up with other people.
Speaker 1: I mean, good God, maybe he is. Just it's one
Speaker 1: of two things. Either he's madly in love with you
Speaker 1: and he wants you to take your time, or too
Speaker 1: he's doing the same thing where he's hooking up with
Speaker 1: other people. So Anonymous like you need to be aware
Speaker 1: of that as well. Sure you're like, oh, I'll tell
Speaker 1: you if I'm hooking up with someone else, but my
Speaker 1: gut tells me he might be hooking up with someone
Speaker 1: else too. So I would establish some ground rules. I
Speaker 1: would say, if you guys are hooking up, you have
Speaker 1: to be completely transparent with one another. If he hooks
Speaker 1: up with someone, you tell him or he tells you.
Speaker 1: And then if you hook up with someone, you tell him,
Speaker 1: because then you get into like you know, like STD
Speaker 1: territory and then like they're sleeping around like that's like
Speaker 1: some sketchy area you don't want to be in. So
Speaker 1: I would lay some ground rules down. I would either say, like,
Speaker 1: we are completely transparent with one another, or like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, try to date each other? Why not? But
Speaker 1: I think these things we've talked about this before. They
Speaker 1: only work until someone catches feelings, and I think he has,
Speaker 1: so it's probably time to either commit to him as
Speaker 1: a boyfriend or stop this because he's gonna get hurt
Speaker 1: real bad. That's what I think. Well I was gonna
Speaker 1: say too, I Uh, I kind of almost maybe want
Speaker 1: to play Devil's advocate for the bad side of the guy,
Speaker 1: because maybe he's saying, like, yeah, go do what you're
Speaker 1: gonna do. I still want to hang out and hook
Speaker 1: up and all that kind of stuff. Maybe he's saying
Speaker 1: that he, like Jared said, so he can keep doing
Speaker 1: that as own accord. But then he's gonna do it
Speaker 1: and then not communicate that back to you. So if
Speaker 1: you do decide to kind of carry on with what
Speaker 1: you're doing, just communicate. That's like the biggest thing is
Speaker 1: not just communicate each hookup that you have, but make
Speaker 1: sure that that is understood before you carry on moving forward,
Speaker 1: and say that if you're gonna keep looking up with people,
Speaker 1: you have to tell me about it, because that's like
Speaker 1: Mark said, one person is gonna catch feelings and it's
Speaker 1: gonna go south really quick, so or catch something where
Speaker 1: you're gonna catch chlamydia. Well, I agree with Dean though,
Speaker 1: this could be like a little out a free pass
Speaker 1: for this dude because maybe he was operating with a
Speaker 1: little guilt because maybe he was hooking up with other
Speaker 1: people as well. But then he found out that you
Speaker 1: were hooking up with other people, and now he's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: go do it have fun, Like I still want to
Speaker 1: hook up with you, but all the while he's been
Speaker 1: hooking up with other people, so now he feels just
Speaker 1: guilt free. So I agree with Dean. Laid out some
Speaker 1: ground is all we can do for Nick. Please keep
Speaker 1: sending us your emails. It's our favorite parts. The only
Speaker 1: reason Dean sticks around. I suck at dating at I
Speaker 1: heart media dot com. A big thank you to our
Speaker 1: two wonderful guests, Brittany and Rachel from of Course we
Speaker 1: TVs Love After a lock Up, which airs nine pm
Speaker 1: on Friday nights. Big thank you to lamar Odom and
Speaker 1: Tristan Thompson for giving us just a horrible headline I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie and that no one cares about. Like
Speaker 1: Tristan Thompson's not even with Kloy Kardashian anymore. What does
Speaker 1: he do in bickering over lamar Odom anyway? I digress,
Speaker 1: Dean anything else now? Jerry think he knocked it out
Speaker 1: of the park. Not really all right, Joan's next week, Well,
Speaker 1: hopefully we all suck just a little less. Follow help
Speaker 1: by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to podcast h