WEBVTT - Conjugal Visits 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:10.320 Hell I Suck Dating with the Dart Radio podcast. Hey, 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:14.760 welcome to help I Suck at Dating. I'm Jared, uh 0:00:15.200 --> 0:00:17.759 you know that, joined by Dean Angler. Of course, we 0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:20.520 have a very special episode coming up. We have some 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:25.079 very special guess geese. Oh man, maybe I have some 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:28.840 pregnancy brain too. We have some very special guests from 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:35.200 the we TV show Love After Lockdown, which airs Friday's. Uh. 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:37.760 That should be pretty interesting, which is quite ironic because 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:40.400 we just had the girl on the podcast a couple 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:44.440 of weeks ago, Dean that wrote a book about relationships 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:47.760 in prison, And now we have two guests that are 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:52.479 in relationships with prisoners. We have Rachel and we have 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:57.400 Brittany coming on now. Rachel's dating Doug uh and Brittany's 0:00:57.480 --> 0:01:01.000 dating Ray, who were imprey into on the show, and 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:04.600 I think are still in prison. I don't know if 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:07.800 they've gotten released, since I don't know when this was filmed, 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:11.039 so I'm assuming they're still behind bars. So weird to 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:13.800 talk about, Like it's like, I hope they're doing well. Uh. 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:16.880 Any who, nice little segue. We still have our Suck 0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:21.240 Army Summer coming up Friday July from seven to eight 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:25.280 o'clock Eastern Standard time four to five Pacific time, which, 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:27.320 of course, you can buy tickets right now on looped 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:30.640 live dot com. Which come on, guys, if you're still 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.520 suck a dating, we're here to help. Now. You can 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:36.240 join us for a one on one. We're doing a 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:38.640 little meat and greet virtual style, of course, because we're 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:40.560 still kind of in a pandemic. You can get a 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:43.640 little dating advice from Dean, maybe a little bit from me, 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:46.000 but Dean's way better out about it. You can enjoy 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:49.080 love in the upcoming summer, which we all know is 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:52.960 gonna be lots of love going on because while the 0:01:53.000 --> 0:01:56.840 pandemic is slowing down, people are ready to get out 0:01:56.840 --> 0:01:59.960 there and mingle and listen. And if all else fail 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:02.040 else you can at least, you know, get a photo 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:04.520 with us for Instagram. That's pretty cool too, Probably not really, 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:09.960 but anyway, suck Army Summer Friday, July eight, Eastern Standard time, 0:02:10.000 --> 0:02:12.400 four to five Pacific. Get your tickets right now looped 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:17.480 live dot com. Deaners, we have some hot topics coming 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:23.320 in Tristan Thompson from the Boston Celtics, which is weird apparently. 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:28.040 Tristan Thompson threatened lamar Odom for flirting with Chloe Kardashian 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:31.040 over some sort of bikini picture that she posted. I 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:33.560 don't know what the hell is going on, but there's 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:35.560 like a little bit of a love triangle breath between 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:41.360 these two. So lamar Odom used to be with Chloe Kardashian. 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:46.680 All right, do you know who Chloe Kardashian is? All right, 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:49.120 Ashley's like laughing in the background. I can hear her. 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:52.880 Not everybody knows who Chloe Kardashian is. Uh, So she 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:56.239 was with lamar Odom, who's a basketball player, and then 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:59.000 she was with Tristan Thompson. I'm not sure if they 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:01.520 were married, but they had a kid together. Tristan Thompson, 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:05.359 I'm pretty sure has cheated on her twice. I don't know. 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:09.000 I I don't think they're together anymore, which is why 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:11.120 I don't know. I think they might be together. I 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:12.320 don't really know what the hell is going on. I'm 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:16.359 pretty sure they're not together. Okay, let me, Ashley, Why 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:20.960 is Tristan Thompson threatening lamar Odom? Then? See this is ridiculous. 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:24.040 So apparently Tristan Thompson and Koli Kardashian are not together anymore, 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:26.520 so he has no right to threaten lamar Odom if 0:03:26.520 --> 0:03:28.959 he's flirting with his ex. But apparently Chloe posted a 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:32.920 bikini photo on her Instagram, and of course lamar he 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:36.880 commented something like, uh, you know hottie with like the 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:40.400 fire Emogencis and the hard eyes. Good God, Like, come on, now, 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:42.400 what are we do when we're seventeen years old? But anyway, 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:48.600 then Tristan Thompson went on and he replied at lamar Odom, 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.880 God brought you back the first time. Play if you 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:59.360 want different results? Is that really a threat? That's it? 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:02.960 That's like this is all about come on now. It's 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:05.680 like pretty much the saying if lamar Odom wants to 0:04:05.720 --> 0:04:07.760 get back in basketball, Tristan Thompson is going to take 0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:10.720 him out. That's so stupid. That's such an NBA fight. 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:15.280 That's like such an NBA thing to say. I feel 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:17.920 like just listening to the description of what's going on 0:04:17.960 --> 0:04:21.800 with this is making my brain dissolve into complete nothingness. 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:24.599 Oh yeah, pretty much. I feel dumber as we speak 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:27.680 as well. But our our producer, Hannah, thank god, she's 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:33.159 here for contacts context, so I forgot lamar Odom at 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:36.839 one point was in a coma and almost died. I 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:38.919 don't know what he was in a coma from, but 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:42.480 that's what Christan Thompson is referring to. Now it makes 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:44.960 a little bit more sense. He said, God brought you 0:04:45.000 --> 0:04:48.520 back the first time from the coma play if you 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:53.800 want different results with like the little shrug emoji, like, no, 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:55.640 I don't know. It looks like me when my math 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:57.480 teacher asked me where my homework was in eighth grade. 0:04:57.520 --> 0:05:01.880 It's like, I don't know. So so he's gonna kill him, 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:03.599 is what he's said. Putting back in a colma. Maybe 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:06.120 do you have any thoughts, any cares about this, any 0:05:06.240 --> 0:05:09.359 fs to give? I mean, I want to care for 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:13.960 the sake of the conversation, um, but I just don't. Don't. 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:15.960 I don't, I really don't. I don't care at all. 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:19.680 I hate all that. I hate the Kardashians. You hate 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:24.800 the k Yes, absolutely, I think I've been pretty vocal 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:26.680 about that in the past. Calin loves them that she 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:28.800 watches the show sometimes, so ilexit and watch with her 0:05:29.160 --> 0:05:30.800 and like, yeah, I can kind of see how they 0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:33.520 could be like mindless entertainment. But the fact that they're 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:35.440 like idolized as much as they are is just so 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:38.360 frustrating um as a society. I could do better. But 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:40.920 that's my take. Yeah, No, I totally agree we give 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:43.040 power to the wrong people. Having said that, I will 0:05:43.080 --> 0:05:45.960 give them credit because I do feel like their business 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:51.440 Mongols like Chris Jenner, she's done a pretty mongols. Isn't 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:54.680 that a positive thing? To be fair? I just said 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:58.920 mongle thinking it was, you know, a compliment. What does 0:05:58.920 --> 0:06:01.560 a Mongol mean? A Mongol is a person from the 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:05.320 country of Mongolia, former country Mongolia. Could be mistaken on that. 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:09.680 Mogul is what your okay, what's a mogul. It's like 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:14.160 a bit like a mogul. Yeah, like business mogul is 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:16.440 like the top like you know, like I guess I 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:18.719 don't know exactly what what the cynema synonym is there for, 0:06:18.880 --> 0:06:22.800 but yeah, so she guys, I was one letter off. 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:25.159 That's not really that bad, especially coming from the Rhode 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:27.920 Island public school system. But I digress. I actually respect 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:29.800 the Kardashians because I was talking to this guy Dax 0:06:29.839 --> 0:06:32.880 Holt one time from TMZ and he he was on 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:34.560 the podcast. I don't know if you remember Dax at all. 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:38.039 But he he said, it's so much listening. He said, 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:40.840 it's so much harder to be famous just for being famous, 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:45.159 which again, listen like you and I, I mean, you 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:47.479 have many skills. I don't have that many skills, And 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:50.840 for some reason, people care, like even about zero skills. Tiny. 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:54.160 I'm like a negative. Actually I'm halfway decent at softball, 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:56.720 and I feel like that brings me down a few pigs. 0:06:56.760 --> 0:06:59.960 But I digress. People care about our baby announcement. Why 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:03.240 I don't know, but it's similar. That's why I hate. 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:05.280 I don't like hating on the Kardashians, because like, we're 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:08.560 kinda in a small boat, like a similar boat, a 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:10.480 very small boat compared to them. They're in a yacht. 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:13.480 We're in like, you know, one of those called that 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:16.920 those like um dinghies. We're in a dinghy together, Dean. 0:07:17.520 --> 0:07:19.880 I agree, I know. I see, I see you're saying. 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:25.160 I agree. We are uh in similar waters but different ships. 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:26.720 I guess it's kind of the analogy you're going for it, 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:28.840 and I agree. I I don't disagree. I I also 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:31.640 think that, uh, you know, a lot of us shouldn't 0:07:31.680 --> 0:07:34.400 have the platform that we do, but yet here we are, 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:37.800 like you said, talking to whoever wants to listen to 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:40.320 this podcast, wherever they might be listening at. So I mean, 0:07:40.320 --> 0:07:43.320 I see your point. Um, I just think that you know, 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:46.200 as as much of moguls as they are, they just 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:47.800 do they said, a bad example for the youth of 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:50.520 America and the youth of the world, and just kind 0:07:50.520 --> 0:07:52.760 of frustmans frustrates me a little bit. But but you're right. 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:54.320 I agree they're I mean, they're sticking around. They got 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:56.600 staying power, they got star power. I think all we 0:07:56.640 --> 0:07:58.480 have to do, Jared, in order to get up to 0:07:58.520 --> 0:07:59.920 that level, has come out with a sex tape of 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:02.560 our own, and perhaps we could be catapulted to the 0:08:02.720 --> 0:08:06.240 level of that trajectory. But um, yeah, I guess we'll 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:09.360 never know. I know people from Bachelor that got offered 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:12.960 to do a sex tape for money. Wait, yeah, it 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:14.760 was that great. It was not us. It was not us, 0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:16.680 And I won't say who it is. We need way 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:20.560 more information. I don't see who it was, but tell us, like, 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:23.720 what were they offered. I don't know exactly, but it 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:25.560 was a good amount of money, but it was not 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:28.160 enough for them to do it, and it was it 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:32.480 was years. Interesting, so very interesting. I'll talk was it 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:34.520 a man or a woman? It was a man and 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:39.560 a woman. I know, very interesting stuff, guys, But unfortunately 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:41.800 I'm not gonna let me ask let me ask you well, 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:43.960 so obviously we'll just let our listeners speculate on who 0:08:43.960 --> 0:08:46.000 they might think it is. Let me ask you this, 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:48.160 how much would it offer out to be for you 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:50.360 to do with something like that? Ashley and I've talked 0:08:50.360 --> 0:08:51.880 about it. We joked around about it. I think it 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:55.959 was like ten mill and it was pretty good. That's 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:59.160 like generational wealth more or less right there? Oh my god. 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:02.719 But then yeah, honestly, if our parents, you know, if 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:04.959 our parents ever saw it, I'd be like, guys, we 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:07.160 got paid ten million dollars to do this, and then 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:09.160 be like, okay, that kind of makes sense. Maybe I 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:11.960 would have done it too, I could. I could see 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:14.360 you and actually getting like a nice uh like a 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:17.960 nice Trojan condom deal or something, right, Yeah, I mean 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:23.240 unfortunately a little bit too big, But I digress. We 0:09:23.280 --> 0:09:26.120 have some very special guests who are waiting for us 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:30.720 right now. Now. Rachel and Brittany from Love After a 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:33.599 lock Up, which is of course on we TV, is 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:47.080 joining us right after this break. Hey, welcome back to 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:50.640 help I second dating Dean. Myself of course are here, 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:54.040 but we have two very special guests from the show 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:58.400 on we TV, which airs Friday's Love After lock Up. 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:02.160 It is Brittany and Rachel. Brittan and Rachel, thank you 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:04.760 so much for coming on. How are you? Brittan will 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:07.920 start with you. How are you great? How are you guys? 0:10:08.240 --> 0:10:12.240 We're doing well? Rachel, how are you? I am super excited. 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:15.000 I'm doing well. How are you guys? Oh, we're doing 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:19.160 just dandy. So listen. Of course we have to ask 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:22.800 you guys about Love After lock Up. So Rachel, I'll 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:26.959 start with you. You are with Doug on the show. Uh, 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:31.800 and this is not your first time dating a prisoner, 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:36.760 Am I right? You're absolutely right. Like I've been accusing 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:38.920 the in the past in my single days. I'm married 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:40.920 now and we're expecting a child, but I've been accusing 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:43.160 the past of like having a thing for bartenders, Like 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:45.760 anytime I go into a bar, my friends are like, 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:49.960 you always find the bartenders super attractive. So is that 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:51.880 kind of like your thing or your friends like you 0:10:52.000 --> 0:10:57.240 just love inmates, that's your thing? You know, it's a 0:10:57.280 --> 0:10:59.920 funny journey. I think everybody kind of just has a 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:03.920 type in our taste evolves over time. If that makes 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:07.600 any sense. You'll be like, oh, let me just date 0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:10.000 like you know, I'm into the attorney saying, let me 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:12.680 date like five attorneys, or let me date the guy 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:16.120 that likes to skateboard or the person who likes to 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:19.400 climb rocks or whatever, you know what I mean, whatever 0:11:19.400 --> 0:11:21.960 it is, I guess. Yeah, it kind of fell in 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:25.679 that way, and it kind of I just kind of, 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:28.520 I don't know, stuck with me, I guess, And look 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:33.480 where I am. Yeah, absolutely, I got questions for Rachel 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:34.920 because we gotta we gotta get to the beginning of 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:36.800 that a little bit more so, this is your third 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:39.800 relationship with an inmate. Tell us, can you tell us 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:41.920 like how the first two started and then how this 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:45.680 one started as well, just at like my own curiosity. Yeah, 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:48.440 I will try to keep the story short as possible. 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:52.200 But I did date someone who had a prison background 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:55.880 in the free world, that which was by first encounter. Um, 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:59.320 he was different. I'd never dated anybody like him, and 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.199 you know, it was kind of scary looking. Tattoos on 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:05.280 the face, tattoo all over the body. But we had 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:08.680 really fun, passionate sex. We had a great relationship and 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:13.160 it was fun, and I just, you know, I enjoyed 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:15.160 what we had for the time that we had because 0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:20.760 sadly he had suddenly passed away. Yeah, this prediction. Yeah, 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:24.360 So after that, and I didn't know anything about addiction. 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:28.480 I don't have addiction. I um empathize with it greatly, 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:31.400 but I was really angry at myself for never noticing 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:34.120 and recognizing the signs of it. So after that, I 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:36.560 just started getting really involved into that community by trying 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:39.560 to give back and trying to um make sure that 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:42.240 something like that never happened to somebody else ever again. 0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:45.640 So you know, it was part of my grieving process. 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:47.040 It was part of the way that I was trying 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:51.679 to deal with his passing. And I, I guess it's 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:54.920 just something that was like, you know, I knew where 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:57.440 to find it now, so maybe I can find something better, 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:01.440 something lasting, something drug free. Um okay, I guess it 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:04.199 was just the way of of me coping with grief. 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:10.040 I guess, yeah, that's understandable. Yeah, because my my second relationship, 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:14.400 my husband at the time, did struggle with addiction, and 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:16.760 I thought that was something that I could help with, 0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:20.200 which has nothing absolutely to do with me whatsoever. I 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:23.400 learned that and I realized that that was that was, 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:25.760 that was enough of that relationship, and it was time 0:13:25.840 --> 0:13:29.320 for me to move on. Gotcha. So so for the 0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:32.000 most of these relationships, you're meeting them out of prison 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:34.600 and then one way or another day will find a 0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:36.880 way back or how does it work. I missed a 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:39.040 little bit of details too, so because of my first 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:41.960 inmate relationship that was in the free world and we 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:45.680 met on normal conditions through a date whatever. You know. 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.520 He had always talked about how it bothered him that 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.720 his family never wrote him, people never visited him. So 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:54.000 that was also another part of my grieving process was 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:56.280 to try to think that maybe there's somebody out there 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.560 that would like to correspond to somebody. So I felt 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:01.400 like I was doing something nice for somebody else and 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:03.840 trying to just be an ear or a pin power 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:06.720 or whatever to support and do something that I would 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:08.600 think that he would have wanted me to do, if 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:12.320 that makes sense. So that was why I chucked out, like, well, 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:15.360 maybe there's somebody out there who feels very misguided even 0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:17.600 though like my life isn't altogether. Maybe I can try 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:20.800 and just maybe listen to somebody else too. None of 0:14:20.800 --> 0:14:23.280 our lives are together, I'll tell you that much. Uh 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:27.760 did you meet Doug? Was you met Doug before he 0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:31.080 went to prison? Right? No? He meant him in prison, 0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:37.080 that's right. Yeah, Um, how did that happen? So that's 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:38.960 why I said, I had no idea that there was 0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:40.960 ever even a pen pall website. So that was my 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:45.320 first time trolling through that. Um it was called writer 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:47.800 prisoner dot com. It makes them put themselves up on 0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:50.800 there to try to get correspondence from people, and honestly, 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:53.440 it's pretty interesting some of these people's bios that are 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:55.840 on there, just looking for hey, how are you. I 0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:57.560 just want to talk to someone and tell them about 0:14:57.600 --> 0:15:00.160 their you know, crappy day or where they were that 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:04.040 they would rather be. So whatever. It was long story short, 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:07.000 scrolling through the profiles and I'm like, this one is 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:09.440 kind of cute. Let me write them. So that's just 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:12.600 kind of what I did. But under the preconditions that 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:15.000 it was only friendship. That was the first thing that 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:17.800 I said, This is a friendship. Where you at where 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:18.920 you had it? What do you? What are you trying 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:20.200 to do with your life. Do you have any goals? 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:22.200 Do you want to go to school? Do you want 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:25.040 to you know, how are you trying to improve your 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:26.880 self type thing? And that was like the basis of 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:29.840 our conversation and with me being me, just talking, being 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:33.520 totally casual. You know, two weeks later it's like, oh, 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:35.880 I think I love you and I was like, wait, no, no, no, 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:38.080 I'll killed it out. It chilled out this think that 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:42.680 like you got your in your twenties, you needed experiment 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:46.120 with other women, try their things, like build that part 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:48.880 of your life in before you think you want to 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:53.960 settle down with someone like me. So yeah, I think 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:57.400 it adds a whole bunch of new dynamics to a relationship. 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:00.480 And this is which gears a little bit Brittany. So, Brittany, 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:04.520 you're with Ray, that's right, and you guys, kind of 0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:08.880 what's your backstory? You've been Ray? Brittany? Oh yeah, so, 0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:12.760 um Ran I actually met on Facebook. He has a 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:15.640 Facebook page. You can't really you can't tell it all 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:18.720 that he's in jail. It's just a normal Facebook page. 0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:20.600 Or he had his cell phone while he was in prison. 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:23.120 He was not opposed to so he slid in my 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:26.680 b MS and he waked and I was like, okay, 0:16:26.720 --> 0:16:29.160 I'm I'm at work, my second job, chilling on board. 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:32.080 I'm waked back, and then we just kind of started 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:36.040 talking from there. And then how long did it take 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:39.680 before you found out that, oh, you're in prison right now? 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.200 Well he actually told me that in the first conversation, 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:45.200 but he said it kind of weird. He was like, yeah, 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:47.040 I'm a little lockdown right now. I was like, what 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:49.720 do you mean, like lock down at word lockdown? Like 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:51.920 what do you mean lockdown? And then he was like fed. 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:54.720 And then I'm thinking, if you're the fas, you don't 0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:57.400 have a cell phone? Boys, shut up. So we just 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:00.600 like switched gears onto a different subject. So then he 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:02.880 was like, do you mind if I video chat and 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:06.000 call you. I was like, cool, okay, so set up 0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:09.440 the video chat. It looks like he's in a restroom 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:12.359 or this brick wall behind him. You could I could already. 0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:14.160 I was like, are you in a hospital at bath room? 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:17.919 Where are you? And it's loud and prison it so loud, 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:21.240 like the guys are screaming. I was like, you're in jail. 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:23.520 You're in jail for real? Huh, how do you have 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:26.480 this cell phone? You know? So I kind of got scared. 0:17:26.600 --> 0:17:28.680 I did, and I was like, all right, you can't 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:31.200 be calling me. They might get your phone track my number. 0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:33.320 I don't want to get in trouble. So we kind 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:36.119 of back back off of that and continue to message, 0:17:36.240 --> 0:17:39.040 like here and there, just kept building up and building 0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:43.520 up itself. Here we are now. So I know that 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:47.639 you're your your family, specifically, your mom has had a 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:51.679 little bit of a difficult time with this. UM you know, 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:54.720 what is your Do you think that your mom will 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:59.080 ever change your opinion about the relationship you and have. UM, No, 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:01.880 I don't. I don't think she'll ever change her opinion, 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:04.879 especially because how it started, where it was and the 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:08.760 obstacles he'll have to cross, um basically starting his life over. 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:11.240 And I'm like pretty much in the middle of mine now, 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:13.760 I'm thirty four years old, So she kind of thinks 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:16.640 I need to be with somebody more established. I respect 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:20.320 what she's saying, but UM, if you guys stay tuned 0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:23.320 and follow up, you'll see how she kind of maybe 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:28.719 or maybe not comes around, but it gets pretty intense. Well, 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:30.560 I wanted to ask about that because, you know, we 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:33.800 have a lot of people who ask us, you know, 0:18:34.440 --> 0:18:39.320 how important is it for parental uh you know, uh 0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:43.359 acceptance when dating someone, Because we have a lot of 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:47.359 emailers say I love this person, but you know, my 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:50.879 my mom, my dad, sister, my best friend, they do 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:54.680 not approve and they're seeing something that I don't see. UM. 0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:56.239 So I wanted to talk to you a little bit 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:59.360 about how difficult it is to navigate a relationship where 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:02.199 you're with some one who you know you love, but 0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:06.159 you have somebody that you also love telling you this 0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:11.040 might not work out. Yeah, that's that's extremely difficult, especially 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:13.720 when you're in like a close, tight knit family. I 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:15.959 think I go to my parents hosp for dinner like 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:19.000 four or five times a week. We're always getting together 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:23.439 on the weekends. We're like best friends, my sisters, my brother, 0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:26.800 you know, we're always together. So I found it hard 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:29.160 to How can I be in two places at once 0:19:29.200 --> 0:19:31.719 if my mom is saying I don't want him at 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:34.600 my house, I don't want anything to do with him, 0:19:34.640 --> 0:19:36.920 and then there's a family get together that of course 0:19:36.960 --> 0:19:39.760 I don't want to miss. So it's really hard. My 0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:44.000 just my take on that is my mom does not 0:19:44.080 --> 0:19:46.080 believe in a lot of talk, Like I could sit 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:48.800 here over and over and tell her how great Ray 0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:51.320 is and all the plans he has. She's more of 0:19:51.400 --> 0:19:53.880 like a show me person. So I think people can 0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:56.399 get through those obstacles if they really believe in their partner, 0:19:56.920 --> 0:19:59.560 and you know, just by being patient and just letting 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:02.919 it happened, Like you know, eventually people will start to 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:06.480 see like, oh, I see what she loves them definitely, Rachel, Yeah, 0:20:06.520 --> 0:20:07.800 I wanted to kind of come back to you and 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:11.680 talk about I don't I'm not sure exactly what your 0:20:11.760 --> 0:20:14.879 family or your friends think about you dating someone who's 0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:18.159 currently in prison, but obviously this is your third go 0:20:18.240 --> 0:20:20.800 around with this, so they must be a little accustomed 0:20:20.800 --> 0:20:22.719 to it. So how do how do you navigate that? 0:20:22.760 --> 0:20:25.879 Because I'm sure you've had some pushback with people saying, hey, don't, 0:20:26.000 --> 0:20:27.840 don't go after this person, they need to get their 0:20:27.840 --> 0:20:33.440 own life together. That's percent true. I have gone through 0:20:33.480 --> 0:20:37.200 those childs and tribulations. I have had family members completely 0:20:37.240 --> 0:20:39.560 cut me off and be done with me, and that 0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:43.880 support me, and I understand that I respect it and 0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:48.240 I give them their space. I you know, my life 0:20:48.240 --> 0:20:51.399 decisions doesn't have to be accepted by everybody, so I 0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:54.440 have I have to respect that. Like I am literally 0:20:55.960 --> 0:21:02.160 putting myself in a very risque, messy position, so why 0:21:02.240 --> 0:21:04.359 would I want? I mean, But at the same time, 0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:07.320 like I've never didged anybody else for who they wanted 0:21:07.359 --> 0:21:09.520 to be with. If it's what made them happy, I'm 0:21:09.560 --> 0:21:13.960 there to support that. But people are so used to 0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:17.280 me being mess I guess don't worry about that one. 0:21:18.119 --> 0:21:20.200