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Speaker 1: Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Lettington,

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Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hello.

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Speaker 3: Hello Call It crew, and welcome to another episode of

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Speaker 3: Call It What It Is jess Tinky Tink style.

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Speaker 2: I'm just coming out with it.

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Speaker 4: I love it.

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Speaker 3: No, I mean seriously, I when we teased out the

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Speaker 3: tinks was coming overwhelming response.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and I even got text through like oh my god,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, can you ask her this? I know

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Speaker 2: she It's like she's the oracle.

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Speaker 4: I want to ask her.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like we said we represent ourselves as

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Speaker 2: that we know a thing about a thing or two.

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Speaker 3: But she's more No, because I was on her TikTok

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Speaker 3: like all last night and I was like and I

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Speaker 3: was learning. I was like, I don't know anything, I

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Speaker 3: know absolute and she knows it all.

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Speaker 2: So I want to ask her all these things. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: let's do it. Let's bring her on.

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Speaker 5: Hi.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Hello, how are you guys?

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Speaker 4: What's going on? Hi?

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Call It What It Is?

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Speaker 4: Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here.

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Speaker 4: I'm so excited to have a chat.

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Speaker 1: We were just talking about you because I, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I guess it was sort of like when when like

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Speaker 1: the TikTok like ah, thanks, and then like if everyone

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Speaker 1: was talking about you and I was like, I mean, like,

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Speaker 1: how does this phone thing work?

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Speaker 2: Kind of TikTok work? What's my name? What are we doing?

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Speaker 1: And I got I was like this, girls, like I

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Speaker 1: think everyone was talking about what you were talking about

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Speaker 1: and you being in the zeitgeist of all the conversations,

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Speaker 1: but I was actually going, damn, she's really smart, so kind.

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Speaker 1: Like the way that you were putting it, the way

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Speaker 1: you were positioning it, the way you were speaking about it,

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Speaker 1: had a lot of heart and you know, listen, there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of noise. All of a sudden, you had

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Speaker 1: like what you were saying had has real teeth and

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Speaker 1: like made people, I think, feel seen.

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Speaker 4: And then.

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Speaker 2: Create a different.

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Speaker 1: Dimension to how they were looking at their lives or

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Speaker 1: like a perspective that maybe like something that had been

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Speaker 1: sitting in their blind spot. And I feel like whenever

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Speaker 1: someone comes around that's smart and feels like I can

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Speaker 1: trust her, you get you get a new take on it.

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Speaker 1: So that's how I remember coming to know who you are.

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Speaker 3: For you, I'm curious because Jessica's talking about like the

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Speaker 3: moment that you sort of like popped off. When did

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Speaker 3: you realize, like, oh shit, people are really watching these

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Speaker 3: tiktoks and like I have an audience.

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Speaker 4: I think the first time that I got a brand deal,

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Speaker 4: I was so shocked that like you could get money

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Speaker 4: for it because I have my job in COVID, Like

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Speaker 4: I had been consulting for a couple brands kind of

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Speaker 4: like doing this and that, and all the brands obviously

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Speaker 4: didn't need any help in COVID, and so I was,

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Speaker 4: you know, stressed about that. And I remember the first

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Speaker 4: time that I got a brand deal, this brand was like,

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Speaker 4: you know, we'll pay you six hundred dollars to weare

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Speaker 4: our pants in your video. And I was like, I

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Speaker 4: was like shut. I was flabbergasted. I was like can

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Speaker 4: I keep the vans too?

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Speaker 2: Like they're like giving them back though.

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Speaker 4: I just couldn't believe it, and I like didn't have

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Speaker 4: a plan. I was like, you know, we were all

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Speaker 4: out of our minds in the pandemic. We were like

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Speaker 4: like living day to day like doing whatever. Yeah, I

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Speaker 4: get through it. And I was like making these videos and.

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Speaker 2: With your teeny tiny little microphone, but my tea, Like

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Speaker 2: I literally.

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Speaker 4: Was the point where like I had so little going

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Speaker 4: on because I was like living alone in my studio

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Speaker 4: apartment in La. I was so new to La, so

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Speaker 4: we didn't have a ton of friends and obviously we

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Speaker 4: weren't supposed to hang out anyway. Yeah, and you know,

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Speaker 4: I was just like, Okay, well, I'll just do this

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Speaker 4: to keep myself busy. And then my friends were like,

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Speaker 4: I think you can like do this, like you should

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Speaker 4: just keep going. And I was like, I feel too

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Speaker 4: old to be on this platform, blah blah blah, and

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Speaker 4: they were like, just keep making videos, and so I

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Speaker 4: did it. And when I got my first brand deal,

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Speaker 4: I was just so happy. I was like, I can't

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Speaker 4: believe you can get paid to make content. And I

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Speaker 4: was like, I'm going to see how far it is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, when look at you now, I so.

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Speaker 3: Feel jealous of that kind of knack for the social

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Speaker 3: media because I think it takes me a second to

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Speaker 3: like sort of get myself into it, and I think

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Speaker 3: just some people just take to.

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Speaker 2: It like a duck to water. And I feel like.

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Speaker 3: You you are such unnatural.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I really was stalking you yesterday. How did

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Speaker 2: you figure out what you wanted to talk about? First? Like,

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Speaker 2: especially in the pandemic when you're not even going anywhere.

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Speaker 4: It was like treal and error. I was like, okay,

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Speaker 4: let me make a video about this, like let me.

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Speaker 4: I knew I couldn't do the dances. I was like, well,

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Speaker 4: these girls are seen and they're so cute. So this

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Speaker 4: is not my thing, but maybe I can make content

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Speaker 4: for people my age. And I'm a millennial and I like,

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Speaker 4: I love a listicle. I love like a jokey you

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Speaker 4: know thing about pump sure like that's our.

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Speaker 2: Shit, right we cool?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, this feedless? We love that stuff. I love

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Speaker 4: like what Harry Potter character, are you whatever? Anything that coded?

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Speaker 4: I like? So I was like, maybe I can do

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Speaker 4: it for people my age, and I was just trialing error.

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Speaker 4: I was like, Okay, people love when I talk about this.

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Speaker 4: They don't like when I talk about that, and it's

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Speaker 4: it's evolved.

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Speaker 2: What did they love? And what are they not?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 2: What did you see right away?

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Speaker 4: They love like self deprecating lists like I remember I

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Speaker 4: did want like ranked how pretty I was in all

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Speaker 4: the cities that I've lived in. I was like, okay,

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Speaker 4: I was a timely, funny Francisco and I was like

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Speaker 4: a four in New York and I'm a mine in

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Speaker 4: LA like they love that shit, they like. I used

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Speaker 4: to also share way more of my personal life, Like

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Speaker 4: I would share everything about dating. And I think because

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Speaker 4: I was a little bit older, it was a nice

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Speaker 4: antidote to all of the like eighteen year olds in

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Speaker 4: the high pals who were they were having dating drama.

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Speaker 4: But there's something about like teenage drama that doesn't hit

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Speaker 4: as hard whereas I would have my drama. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 4: like I was in my I was in my I

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Speaker 4: was like just turning thirty. I was like in love

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Speaker 4: with my best guy friend and I was sharing all

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Speaker 4: of that and people like that worked a lot too, I.

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Speaker 3: For people that don't know you and the listening right now,

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Speaker 3: you have this theory that is slightly terrifying to me.

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Speaker 2: What's the box dating theory?

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Speaker 4: Okay, box theory is my theory that when a guy

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Speaker 4: meets a girl in a romantic setting, so a date

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Speaker 4: of an app, a setup, or something like this, he

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Speaker 4: puts her into one of three boxes.

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Speaker 2: Now, hang on, wait, do you have to meet in person?

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Speaker 4: No, it could be dating app, but it has to

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Speaker 4: be a romantic setting. Like, it doesn't apply if say

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Speaker 4: you've been friends with that person for a long time,

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Speaker 4: or you're they're your colleague and you've seen them every

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Speaker 4: day for ages and then, like you, one of them

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Speaker 4: catches feelings or whatnot. I'm talking about like a true

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Speaker 4: like it's a romantic setting.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 4: The guy will put the girl in a one of

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Speaker 4: three boxes. Wants to date her, wants to hook up

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Speaker 4: with her, doesn't want anything to do with her. Okay,

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Speaker 4: the third box is easy. You can usually tell when

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Speaker 4: a guy is just like, yeah, you can usually.

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Speaker 2: I mean it still stings, like it still stings.

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Speaker 4: But like, well, yeah, Where people get confused is between

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Speaker 4: the date box and the hook up box. And the

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Speaker 4: point is you can't move from box to box. This

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Speaker 4: is what really trips people up because it rings and

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Speaker 4: I I was in the hookup box, he stabs, Like,

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Speaker 4: for all of my twenties, I would be in the

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Speaker 4: hook up box. And I would be like, if I

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Speaker 4: just act perfect enough, I will I will want to

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Speaker 4: date me. And the truth is that's not how it works.

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Speaker 4: When a guy meets you, he's like, yeah, I want

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Speaker 4: to date her, and there's very little you can do

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Speaker 4: to make him not want to date you because We've

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Speaker 4: all been on the end of that, where you know

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Speaker 4: you're seeing a guy, you're not that into him, and

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Speaker 4: he's just yes, he will follow up. He's asking you

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Speaker 4: for drinks, he's booking the next date, he remembers that

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Speaker 4: your sister is having foot surgery and he's following up

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Speaker 4: about it. And we've all also been on the other

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Speaker 4: end where you're like, I'm acting so perfectly, like.

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Speaker 2: I'm funny, I'm having everything right.

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Speaker 4: I'm talking about you know, Jesus and golden retrievers, like

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Speaker 4: he just won't date you. And it's because they put

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Speaker 4: you in these boxes. And then people say to me like, well, thanks,

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Speaker 4: you're putting all the power in the guy's hands. That's

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Speaker 4: not really how I look at it. I look at

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Speaker 4: it as like a self awareness thing, so that you

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Speaker 4: don't ever act in a way that's not in accordance

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Speaker 4: with who you are. Because speaking from personal experience as well,

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Speaker 4: I think a lot of girls think, oh, well, I

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Speaker 4: should like write a text a certain way, or I

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Speaker 4: should do this a certain way, or that a certain way.

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Speaker 4: You need to be yourself because the right guy will

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Speaker 4: like youtaneously. And like I said, there's very little that

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Speaker 4: you can do to make him not like you after that,

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Speaker 4: Like girls will always call my show and be like,

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Speaker 4: oh my god, like things were going well, I thought,

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Speaker 4: And then I put two exclamation marks instead of one of.

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Speaker 2: The text like this was me dating by the way,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, no.

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Speaker 4: You're the sooka box and it's fine. It's just like

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Speaker 4: it's good to know where you stand so that you

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Speaker 4: don't waste time on someone who wouldn't mind losing you.

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Speaker 2: Does it work both ways?

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Speaker 1: Do girls put guys in boxes or just the guys

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Speaker 1: to the girls?

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Speaker 2: I don't think girls.

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Speaker 4: Do girls do something which I call reverse box theory,

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Speaker 4: which is where girls will elevate a guy to a

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Speaker 4: crazy status without him really being worthy of it. And

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Speaker 4: so by that they'll see a guy on a dating

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Speaker 4: app and they'll be like, oh my god, he has

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Speaker 4: a dog. I have a dog. Oh he has he

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Speaker 4: has a picture with his mom, he's a family man.

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Speaker 4: He went to Michigan. I have been to Michigan.

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Speaker 3: Like we are points, yeah, twin flames in your head.

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Speaker 4: And again I've done this in times. I know judgment

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Speaker 4: even like you're having we're having a May wedding, like

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Speaker 4: we're gonna get married husband. Then you go to the date.

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Speaker 4: You're nervous as hell because in your head that this

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Speaker 4: is the father of your children. Need to get a

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Speaker 4: ring in six months. Act like a freak because you're

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Speaker 4: so nervous. The truth of the matter is this guy

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Speaker 4: hasn't done anything to prove that he's a good guy,

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Speaker 4: that he your time, that he deserves your effort. It's

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Speaker 4: not our fault. It's just that women, and I think

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Speaker 4: especially with the you know, the dating apps, they really

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Speaker 4: make you like future trip and they make you imagine

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Speaker 4: something before it's real and the only thing.

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Speaker 1: But I think that it's also I mean, I'm sure

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Speaker 1: you've already like scratched at this, but I think it's

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Speaker 1: also science.

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Speaker 2: I think it's a neurobiological like.

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Speaker 1: I think it harkens back to the days though really

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Speaker 1: old ones.

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Speaker 4: We're looking for the signs like yeah, I'm going to

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Speaker 4: be a provider. It's totally normal. My point is just that, like,

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Speaker 4: don't make him greater than he is in your mind,

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Speaker 4: because the most important thing is how he treats you

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Speaker 4: and how you feel. If you leave the date and

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Speaker 4: you're like I feel funny, I feel sexy, I feel beautiful,

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Speaker 4: I feel seen. I feel like he listened. Then sure

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Speaker 4: you can think that this dude is great, but not

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Speaker 4: before he's actually shown you. Yeah, he's a good.

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Speaker 2: Person, a great I'm raising my hand.

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Speaker 3: I have a question, Yes, how quickly do you think

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Speaker 3: guys are boxing us?

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Speaker 4: Very quickly?

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Speaker 2: It's like the terminator helmet. It's like they scalely like.

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Speaker 4: First, hang out first, hangout box first.

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Speaker 1: I think it's like by the you might get boxed

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Speaker 1: at the bar, just standing there.

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Speaker 4: Like it's it's you're in the box. But it's not

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Speaker 4: as scary as it seems. It's like it's honestly really

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Speaker 4: freeing because then once you know, you're just like, oh,

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Speaker 4: like you want to be in someone's Everybody deserves to

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Speaker 4: be in someone's date box, and you will in date box.

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Speaker 4: So if you're not, like if you're hanging out dating

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Speaker 4: with someone who texts you sporadically, doesn't make you feel

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Speaker 4: seen all this shit, you're like, okay, I'm in their

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Speaker 4: hook up box and that's okay as long as I know,

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Speaker 4: and then I can make a decision like do I

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Speaker 4: want to see this person casually or am I looking

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Speaker 4: for something real? And then I can move on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, knowledge is power? What is according to you? I

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Speaker 2: want to know what has been the worst city to

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Speaker 2: date in.

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Speaker 4: Oh, that's a good one, I would say, La.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I thought you were to say New York.

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Speaker 2: Oh not, I'm by the way, In case you didn't know,

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Speaker 2: I'm in New York and she's in La.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, La New York and we both lived in both

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Speaker 3: places too, Okay, tell us why.

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Speaker 4: I think that it's the flakiness combined with all the

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Speaker 4: normal dating hell. Like, I think at least York you

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Speaker 4: have you can go on a date. Like, if you're

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Speaker 4: jonesing to go on a date, you can one percent

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Speaker 4: make the plan on hinge. People will follow through people date.

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Speaker 4: They're like, it's like going to the gym. You know,

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Speaker 4: you can like, oh, well what did you do last night?

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Speaker 4: I went to the gym and went out a date. Then,

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Speaker 4: you know, it's just a thing that people do. In La,

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Speaker 4: people are like recluses. Sometimes. I'm not here to bash La,

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Speaker 4: but I just there's not a place where people congregate

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Speaker 4: enough ever go Like if you were in a flirty mood,

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Speaker 4: you and your girlfriend were single, and you wanted to

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Speaker 4: go like catch a vibe, It's pretty hard to find

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Speaker 4: that in La like maybe Venice, but even then it's

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Speaker 4: so touch and go on whether there's actually going to

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Speaker 4: beat people out people just in their homes more, and

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Speaker 4: that makes it harder to just meet people out and about.

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Speaker 4: And also with the dating thing, it's just like I

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Speaker 4: find people are more flaky because it's the driving. You know,

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Speaker 4: if you match with someone on an app, if you

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Speaker 4: live in West Hollywood and they live in Venice.

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Speaker 2: No, it's not happening. That's a problem. It's done, didn't start,

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Speaker 2: never started.

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Speaker 4: I know my friend, my one of my best friends,

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Speaker 4: she was just telling me that on her first date

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Speaker 4: with her boyfriend, he drove an hour and a half.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow.

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Speaker 4: I was like, man, I do like. I was like

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Speaker 4: that's insane, and he was like yeah, I looked at

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Speaker 4: my GPS and I was like, oh am I going

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Speaker 4: to cancel this date. And then he was like I

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Speaker 4: got to go. It's a setup. I got to go.

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Speaker 4: And now they've been dating like seriously for a couple

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Speaker 4: of years, but like an hour and a half.

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Speaker 3: No, And they moved in together probably after a week

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Speaker 3: because they're like three ways.

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Speaker 2: It's such a Greek walk.

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Speaker 1: Coming back to New York I'm shook by how quickly

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Speaker 1: people move in together because like, oh, it's.

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Speaker 4: Like six months and they're like, okay, well, I guess

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Speaker 4: we're on zil And I'm like, oh, why.

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Speaker 2: Do you find?

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Speaker 3: Do you find that one city is the men in

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Speaker 3: one city are more commitment phobes than another.

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Speaker 4: I think that everywhere right now people are just having

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Speaker 4: an aversion to commitment. I think people are.

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Speaker 2: Do what do you chalk it up to?

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Speaker 4: I think just like the paradox of choice, like that

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Speaker 4: it feels like there's infinity hot people. It feels like

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Speaker 4: there's you can, you know, see a million hotties on

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Speaker 4: your phone every day. And you know, women are certainly

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Speaker 4: staying single longer. The stats are all showing us that

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Speaker 4: a record number of women over thirty are single and unmarried.

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Speaker 4: And so I think on the women's side, they're just

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Speaker 4: being a little bit more choosy about, you know, feeling

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Speaker 4: down with And I think also people are a little

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Speaker 4: bit like, you know, why why rush into it?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: The things I have to talk to you because it's

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Speaker 3: very rare that I see anyone who's upbringing like life

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Speaker 3: beginningness looks like mine and yours does. Because I'm from England,

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Speaker 3: born and raised, and I went to my you know,

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Speaker 3: I went to all girls Catholic school and for a

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Speaker 3: little bit mascot and I moved here when I was nineteen.

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Speaker 3: And you were born here but lived there and moved

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Speaker 3: back to the Yeah, okay, yeah, when you were nineteen.

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Speaker 3: And do you miss home or do you consider home?

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Speaker 4: You know, I think it's like I don't really think

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Speaker 4: of home home. I think of like where I grew up.

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Speaker 4: You know, it's just like my young chapter of my life,

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Speaker 4: all my childhood, and I do miss it sometimes. There

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Speaker 4: is a certain there's there's a certain vibe to London

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Speaker 4: and to British people in British culture that I really

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Speaker 4: really relate to, and that makes me feel very comfortable.

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Speaker 4: The humor, the sarcasm.

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Speaker 2: I love the humor and the sarcasm.

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Speaker 4: It's amazing. It's like it feels like a breath of

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Speaker 4: fresh air and it feels like, oh like every time

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Speaker 4: I've been in LA for too long, I'm like, I

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Speaker 4: need to go home and just like be with my

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Speaker 4: friends from high school. Oh like they just don't. I

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Speaker 4: don't know. There's like I'm generalizing hugely here, obviously with.

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Speaker 2: That that's what we're here for a little bit.

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Speaker 4: Less like vanity. And I'm like the most vain person,

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Speaker 4: so I can say that, but like they it feels

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Speaker 4: like they don't think about themselves as much as I

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Speaker 4: think about myself or something. And maybe that's the industry

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Speaker 4: I'm in. I get that I'm an influencer. That's the

360
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Speaker 4: most vain. Yeah, you can have, but it's just a

361
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Speaker 4: little bit more chill. And you know, even like the

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Speaker 4: drinking culture. You can go to the pub and it's

363
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Speaker 4: not such a like it's not like blackout or or no.

364
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Speaker 4: It's just kind of like, oh, it's me to have

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Speaker 4: a drink and like, well chat. It just feels a

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Speaker 4: little bitter.

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Speaker 1: Okay, speaking of high stakes socializing, hot are in the Hamptons.

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Speaker 1: How did you know you were going to write a

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Speaker 1: book about the Hamptons because you.

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Speaker 2: Went so this weekends sort of inspired it.

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Speaker 4: Well, it's so funny because that weekend that I went,

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Speaker 4: I hated it and I was like, I hate the

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Speaker 4: people here, like they're so snobby and the honest to

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Speaker 4: god truth is. Then I like became an influencer and

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Speaker 4: I made my own money, and then a couple of

376
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Speaker 4: years ago. I was able to rent my own house

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Speaker 4: and invite my friends for the month, and we did

378
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Speaker 4: what you did. We just holl up, we barbecue, it

379
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Speaker 4: came yard, We drink wine till three in the morning,

380
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Speaker 4: and like, we just have so much fun. And then

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Speaker 4: that's the right way to do it. If you go

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Speaker 4: as like a guest, knowing nothing and not having any

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Speaker 4: you know, it's just one of those places which I

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Speaker 4: hate to say, but it is. It's like a little bit.

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Speaker 4: I mean, obviously the locals would probably be be like

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Speaker 4: f you you know, it's a beautiful place all year

387
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 4: round for everybody, but I'm talking about the vacation Hampton.

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Speaker 4: The right way to do it is to just hang

389
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Speaker 4: with your people friends. Yeah, it's really fun and then

390
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,879
Speaker 4: you kind of get to know what you like and

391
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:14,480
Speaker 4: what you don't like.

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Speaker 1: So but there must have been something about it where

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Speaker 1: you're like, this is the backdrop because then you decided

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Speaker 1: to write a book.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well it's you know, I used to do these

396
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,480
Speaker 4: rich Mom starter packs and there, yes, I know the

397
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,560
Speaker 4: content of oh yes, I know, you know wherever I

398
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,040
Speaker 4: love rich Moms and all the you know, all the places,

399
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,159
Speaker 4: and it just made sense for the first one to

400
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Speaker 4: be in the Hampton's. I have this whole idea for

401
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,480
Speaker 4: a whole series where each book is going to be

402
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,480
Speaker 4: in a new rich mom location. We're going to have

403
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 4: to badass heroin. We're going to explore a new fantasy,

404
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,280
Speaker 4: and so it's kind of going to be like Slutty

405
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:47,760
Speaker 4: White Lotus without the death.

406
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Speaker 2: I love a slutty White Lotus.

407
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Speaker 3: If I was a studio had, I'm like, that's all

408
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,919
Speaker 3: I need to hear, slutt White Loadus.

409
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Speaker 4: So I think thought Hampton's made sense because I have

410
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,359
Speaker 4: been spending more time there the past couple year just

411
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Speaker 4: with my friends.

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Speaker 1: And did you and have you hung out with Aaron

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Speaker 1: and Sarah when they've been in there?

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Speaker 2: Is that how you guys met? Did you meet socially

415
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 2: or did you meet through work?

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00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,199
Speaker 4: You know? I think we met because I was on

417
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,680
Speaker 4: their podcast a couple of years ago, and then we've

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Speaker 4: done a few things together like I did.

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Speaker 1: It makes perfect sense to me, by the way, because

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Speaker 1: I've known them both for a very long time. We're

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Speaker 1: talking about Sarah and Aaron Foster. I say this to

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Speaker 1: Kimilla all the time. Truly two of the most whips

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Speaker 1: smart like crazy.

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Speaker 2: You with and you don't. I mean, I don't know

425
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 2: about you. Maybe all the flower, but I don't see

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Speaker 2: it coming.

427
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Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, the punchline's there and

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Speaker 1: I have They're funny.

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Speaker 4: They're so funny, they're so smart, they're so on it,

430
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Speaker 4: and they just kind of get what people want. You

431
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 4: see it in every they do. You see it in

432
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:53,680
Speaker 4: their clothing line, you see it in their podcast last year,

433
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:57,639
Speaker 4: like they just get it. They really intuitively get it.

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Speaker 4: And I mean, it's a dream come ture.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't be beer such a perfect When does it

436
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:02,560
Speaker 2: start filming.

437
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,919
Speaker 4: We're still in the beginning stages. We're like interviewing writers now,

438
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 4: which is such a fun experience. Obviously it's all new

439
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,200
Speaker 4: for me. But I'm loving every second and they're being

440
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:14,359
Speaker 4: so teaching me and so I hope we can move fast.

441
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 4: But I'm I'm so excited.

442
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 2: It's so exciting. I cannot wait to worry. This is

443
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 2: like my cup of tea.

444
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 3: By the way, this is like I'm seated, I have

445
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,119
Speaker 3: my glass of wine.

446
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:29,000
Speaker 2: My kids they got a zip. Mommy's watching her like

447
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,000
Speaker 2: tell me when it's on.

448
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 4: Honestly, I'm inspired by any movie or TV shows set

449
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,880
Speaker 4: in the Hamptons because it's just fun to look at, Like, I.

450
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 2: Know, do you remember when Sexist that he went to

451
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,200
Speaker 2: the Hampton's and then who was it? The gut Crabs?

452
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:47,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, the most did. And it's like, remember she's so flattered.

453
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 2: That they think she's young.

454
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, who is.

455
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:51,160
Speaker 2: For your show?

456
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 3: Who would your dreamcasting be? And you can say Jessica

457
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 3: and Night That's fine, and then we can just.

458
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:59,120
Speaker 2: Move on if we're too talking about due old.

459
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 4: We're due old have or not. I have a dreamcast

460
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 4: in my phone. I don't adjinx it, but like I'm

461
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 4: manifesting really hard.

462
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 2: Oh you should. Oh you know, by the way, with

463
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 2: manifesting something I just learned, you're probably gonna be like, hello,

464
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 2: just I already know this.

465
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,800
Speaker 1: You're actually not meant to think about it over and

466
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 1: over and perseparate about it.

467
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,680
Speaker 2: You're actually meant to think that's already happened.

468
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 4: No, I have it, it's happening.

469
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,280
Speaker 2: It's done. You just haven't sent out the contract, So

470
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 2: I say it right now.

471
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 4: I'm just so that we can send the contracts out,

472
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 4: like I.

473
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 1: Just ye, okay, great, good, great, well we will we'll

474
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,160
Speaker 1: be in season two, since there will be one and

475
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 1: and or if you just need any.

476
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,439
Speaker 2: Support, we're there.

477
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 3: We have to get on because you do ask me anything. Yeah,

478
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 3: that's what you're known for. And our Call It crew

479
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 3: were like, we got a million asked me anythings. We

480
00:21:58,119 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 3: got a million questions for you, and so they would

481
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 3: care if we didn't get to this. So we're going

482
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 3: to ask you some questions.

483
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 2: Diana ask how do you know when to give up

484
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 2: on a relationship. It's a great question.

485
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 4: That's tough.

486
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 2: I know there's not a box for that.

487
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 5: I know.

488
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 2: I think there's too many boxes.

489
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 4: I think that when you feel like there's no path forward,

490
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:23,879
Speaker 4: like if you can't see a path, like if you

491
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 4: can't even imagine what it would take to move forward,

492
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,679
Speaker 4: then you have to you have to leave, and you

493
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,679
Speaker 4: have to advocate for your future happiness. I think, Like

494
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 4: another trick that I have is if you can't imagine

495
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,919
Speaker 4: doing the next thing with them, So like if you're

496
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 4: dating casually being exclusive with them, if you can't, then

497
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 4: it's not your thing. If you're dating and you can't

498
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 4: see moving in with them or living with them at

499
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 4: some point, not your person. You have to be like

500
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 4: would I do the next step with them, and that's

501
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 4: like a good barometer for if there's a future.

502
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 3: Do you have like a little rule for for if

503
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 3: you've been with someone for like a really long time

504
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,160
Speaker 3: and they have proposed yet, is there like you've hit

505
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,880
Speaker 3: eight years, like, get the fuck out.

506
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:09,680
Speaker 4: I don't really believe in ultimatums. I don't know though,

507
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 4: that is really hard. What do you guys think that.

508
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 3: I think that if you're at like eight years, I like,

509
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 3: I think you should and that's what you want. I

510
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,440
Speaker 3: think there is like a little bit of a get

511
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 3: the fuck out. But I don't like ultimatums. I just

512
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 3: think that it's because I don't.

513
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 2: Think you should be like proposer, I'm hitting out, you know.

514
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 4: I think it's ideally it's like you ideally you don't

515
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,399
Speaker 4: get to that point. Ideally you're on the same page

516
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,200
Speaker 4: and you know, and by you know, you're like, we're

517
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 4: working towards this. If you're eight years in and you

518
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,359
Speaker 4: haven't had a conversation about it, that's on you as well.

519
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 4: You know, you've got to talk about it too before then.

520
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, sometimes I think you do have a conversation.

521
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,160
Speaker 3: When guys are like just you know when it's right,

522
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 3: when it's when we're ready, and then it feels.

523
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:54,159
Speaker 2: Like a little bit of them. It's like, yeah, it's

524
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:55,359
Speaker 2: it's not.

525
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 4: Very yeah, and he's just not that into you.

526
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:00,640
Speaker 2: Yes, that's exactly right.

527
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 1: When I graduated college and I came to Los Angeles,

528
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,640
Speaker 1: I got a duplex in as one does, right near

529
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:07,880
Speaker 1: Fairfax High.

530
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 4: Yeah.

531
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

532
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 1: And on the other side, I had like a single

533
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,400
Speaker 1: dude that was dating a lot the first year or two,

534
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,679
Speaker 1: and then the second year, this really cute couple moved in.

535
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 1: They'd just come from she'd come from New York and

536
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 1: he was in LA and he's a comedian, super funny,

537
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 1: and she was super funny. And he would go and

538
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: do consulting for sex and the City because they would

539
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 1: do the Writer's Room in Los Angeles, and we became

540
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 1: really good friends. And he would just always have great

541
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 1: one liners. And he is the guy who came up with,

542
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: oh well, he's just.

543
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 2: Not that idiot.

544
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 4: He's the one who, oh my live that in the

545
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 4: writer good claim the fame of his that's a really

546
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,239
Speaker 4: good line. I mean, think about how people say that

547
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 4: all the freaking I mean all the time, and then.

548
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 1: They and then and then talk about how, you know,

549
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 1: figuring out how to scale it out. Before they were

550
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 1: talking about scaling things out, and all of a sudden

551
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: it you know, obviously it's struck such a nerve in

552
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 1: the show, and then they made it into a movie

553
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 1: because it's so.

554
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 3: You know why.

555
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 1: But I think it's struck a nerve and I think

556
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,399
Speaker 1: it goes back to you and why.

557
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 2: I remember in the first time that I saw your videos.

558
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: It strikes a nerve when it's true, right, No, it does,

559
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 1: And I think that's the beautiful part of influencing.

560
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 4: Yeah. No, I agree. I think like most of the

561
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,679
Speaker 4: time you just feel so crazy when you're dating, and

562
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 4: it's like if someone's just validating like you're not crazy,

563
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 4: that it's really good.

564
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. Camilla says things all the time that I'm like, oh, yeah,

565
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:36,320
Speaker 2: that's true.

566
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I know everything I'm like I do, I

567
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 3: might be oracle for you, Jess.

568
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with this.

569
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,360
Speaker 3: Carrie wants to know, Tanks, what would you tell your

570
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 3: eighteen year old self.

571
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 4: Oh, I would tell her not to worry and to

572
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 4: enjoy it and just take so many pictures and cherish

573
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 4: your youth and have fun and just don't worry it

574
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 4: all works out, like it really does. You just don't

575
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 4: need to feel the weight of the world on your

576
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 4: shoulders as a young as a young teen, you could

577
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 4: just kind of try to enjoy the ride a little

578
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:11,160
Speaker 4: bit more.

579
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 3: I think that's true now for me, Like I just

580
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 3: gotta like, like enjoy the ride.

581
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 4: I'm trying, but it's hard every day, Like hard I do.

582
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 4: I'm the same way. I'm like trying to remind myself

583
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,880
Speaker 4: all the time, but it's hard. You get bogged down

584
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 4: hard work and stress and stuff and errands, and then

585
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 4: you're just like, I'm like, why am I taking myself

586
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,959
Speaker 4: so seriously today? Like, oh my god, Like it's not

587
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,640
Speaker 4: that deep tanks, but it's hard to click out of it.

588
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:36,919
Speaker 2: It is.

589
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, So Rory wrote it and she said, I'm fifteen and

590
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 1: I really like a girl, but I'm scared to ask

591
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 1: her out.

592
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 2: What should I do?

593
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I think you should ask her out.

594
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 4: I think you go for it. I think you should

595
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 4: try it. There is it's this sooner you learn that

596
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 4: being rejected or someone saying, oh I don't want to

597
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,879
Speaker 4: go out with you, it's not a failure. It doesn't matter.

598
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,439
Speaker 4: It's just it's amazing to put out good energy in

599
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 4: the universe. And it's also so nice to tell someone

600
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 4: that you like them or you have a crush on them.

601
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 4: And the sooner you can learn that, the better, the

602
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 4: happier you'll be because it's so nice and it's little pressure,

603
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,880
Speaker 4: it's little stakes. Either she says yes and that's great,

604
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 4: or she says no and that's also great, and you

605
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 4: move it on and you's it's all good either way.

606
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 2: So I say, ask great, I love that.

607
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:28,640
Speaker 4: Yep.

608
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 2: Okay.

609
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 3: So Nicky says, my ex wants to go get sushi

610
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:36,679
Speaker 3: with me. He said, it's friendly, but I don't know

611
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 3: what to do because I don't like him.

612
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 2: What do you think.

613
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 3: About the xes? First off, let's all be honest. This

614
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 3: fucking X wants to get back.

615
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 2: There's no like, let's just be buds, like you have

616
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 2: some sushi on.

617
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 4: He's done a tour, he's realized that he ain't that

618
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 4: much shore. You have to think about it that way.

619
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 2: You have to think no, no, no, this is great.

620
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,159
Speaker 4: Be real with yourself because sometimes you're like, oh, like,

621
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 4: I'm so special. He's been thinking about me this whole time. No,

622
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,680
Speaker 4: he got rejected on his last three tender dates and

623
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 4: now he's looking for something nice and easy and he

624
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 4: wants to get sushi with you.

625
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 2: We talk about this all the time.

626
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 1: I didn't used to think I had anxiety, and now

627
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 1: I know I do. So Ashley has written in and

628
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:28,640
Speaker 1: said one of the best ways to help anxiety question mark.

629
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 4: I think that therapy is amazing. I think everybody got

630
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 4: to talk to and just help process. I think journaling

631
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 4: is really helpful. Reading really helps me. Showering it really

632
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 4: does help. Like if you're having like you're feeling really

633
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 4: anxious and you're like, whoa, I'm like not feeling good,

634
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 4: take a shower, like it really does. They've proven it

635
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 4: resets your nervous system and you kind of feel a

636
00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 4: little bit more calm after you take a shower. Making

637
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 4: sure you have good sleep, which is hard because usually

638
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 4: if you have anxiety, you can't sleep that well. But

639
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 4: if you have anything to make sure you're getting good sleep,

640
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 4: that will definitely help anxiety reduce. And honestly, like it's

641
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 4: all the kind of boring stuff that we don't like

642
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 4: to do, but it actually does help. Like going on

643
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 4: walks really helps as well. If you do all of

644
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 4: those basic things. It can really help.

645
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 3: I found putting my phone away actually really really helps

646
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 3: me too.

647
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm like, dude, put your fucking phone away.

648
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 3: Just two hours, like a shower and then a two

649
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 3: hour away from your phone, you might start to feel

650
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 3: a little.

651
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 4: Works wonder crazy way we have the entire world and

652
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 4: every problem at our fingertips, and we wonder why we're

653
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 4: all freaking anxious the whole time. It's a lot. It's

654
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 4: bombarding us at all times, and you have to know

655
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 4: one to set boundaries and to be like I need

656
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 4: to put my phone away.

657
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

658
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 1: Also self talk. I talk about this a little, but like, yeah,

659
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 1: really figuring out like you're always your own little party

660
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 1: of one. I used to think it was like so

661
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 1: crazy to have a meal alone, and now I'm like,

662
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 1: I love having, especially in New York City, a happy, happy, happy,

663
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 1: happy love a meal alone.

664
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

665
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just having like that relationship with yourself

666
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: one hundred.

667
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 4: It's so important. It's the most important relationship of all.

668
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:27,719
Speaker 3: Ye Aila asks, how do you know when your standards

669
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 3: are too high?

670
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: Is that even possible question? I think it's possible.

671
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 4: It's a good question, though I think mine might be

672
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 4: too high.

673
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 2: This is really what you know.

674
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 4: I think, like you know, I think gut check is

675
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 4: if your friends are constantly being like you're that's a

676
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 4: crazy reason to dump someone, or may be more open.

677
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 4: You know that your friends know you really well and

678
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 4: they have your best interest at heart. So if they're

679
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 4: constantly saying, like, did you really dump that guy because

680
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 4: he wore a blue T shirt and not a green

681
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 4: turch T shirt. But then you're like, Okay, I need

682
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 4: to like check myself a little. But it's good to yourself.

683
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 4: It's good to have standards, and it's good to know

684
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 4: what are your non negotiables. I think that's another thing

685
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 4: that can help you is like pick your non negotiables.

686
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 4: Say this person has to be kind, they have to

687
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 4: be smart, and they have to like love their family. Okay,

688
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 4: those are the things that really matter to you and

689
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 4: everything else. Be a little bit more flexible on.

690
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 2: M I remember dating.

691
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:29,959
Speaker 3: My big problem was like I could get picked so easily,

692
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 3: Oh my god, beyond like to the point where it

693
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 3: was like it was borderline offensive that I got aicked

694
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 3: by something like just the way they walked. Maybe in

695
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 3: like even if they like did like this is so mean.

696
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 3: I feel if they walked in like maybe tripped a

697
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 3: little bit, like it's over for me.

698
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 4: Oh, I agree, I'm with you.

699
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 3: Right, Okay, Lives asked, I want to be with someone,

700
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 3: but I also like being alone.

701
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 2: Am I broken? Or is there hope?

702
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 4: You're definitely not broken, definitely really healthy and normal to

703
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 4: want to spend time alone. I think it's really I

704
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 4: think it honestly makes you a better partner in the

705
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 4: long term because you are independent and you know your

706
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 4: likes and things, and you're not someone who's gonna cling

707
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,959
Speaker 4: to someone or have an anxious attachment style like you

708
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 4: like it. To me, that means you like yourself when

709
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 4: you want to spend time alone. It means you have

710
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 4: a good relationship with yourself. Doesn't mean you're broken, doesn't

711
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 4: mean you're not going to find someone who loves you.

712
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 4: It means simply that you like yourself, which I would

713
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,959
Speaker 4: argue means you're going to call in someone who is

714
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 4: even higher vibrational level.

715
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 2: Like really, yeah, I love that. I think that's so true.

716
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 3: Okay, Susie said, I am starting over at fifty seven.

717
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 3: I'm scared of dating and being alone. What should I do?

718
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 2: Would you recommend getting on a dating app.

719
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I honestly would for especially for that age group.

720
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 4: I think it's a really effective way to meet people.

721
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 2: Do you have an app that you prefer? Are you

722
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 2: like not tender but this.

723
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 4: Oh, I don't know. I think maybe Henja Bumble could

724
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 4: be good, But I think it's I think you should

725
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 4: view it as like an exciting new chapter, Like it

726
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 4: really is a new time where there are no limits

727
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 4: and you shouldn't be afraid just because you feel like, oh,

728
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 4: you have to start over again. It's it's a new chapter,

729
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 4: like it's a new era. It's so exciting. Life is short,

730
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 4: but it's also long, and there's so many different eras

731
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 4: that we all have, And I think that you should

732
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 4: go into it with a mentality of like I can't

733
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 4: wait to find out what happens, Like I get to

734
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 4: write this next chapter, and it's maybe I'll find someone,

735
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 4: and maybe I'll date around, and maybe I'll have experiences.

736
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 4: And it's a true period of unknown, which is so exciting.

737
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 2: Have you been on Riya is it? Rya raya Ryan?

738
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 4: I've been on it?

739
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 2: What is it?

740
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 4: Like?

741
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 2: It's been on everything I know.

742
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 3: I'm so curious because I feel like I missed the

743
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 3: app thing, maybe like it.

744
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 2: Was just like a game.

745
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 5: No, it's it's it's a it's it's a normal matching

746
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,919
Speaker 5: dating app. I think that the problem with all dating

747
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 5: apps right now is that we just have like there's

748
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,359
Speaker 5: so many and there's so many matches to be had,

749
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,399
Speaker 5: and I feel like there's almost too many matches where

750
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:25,840
Speaker 5: it's like, yeah, oh, you're not really dating with intention anymore.

751
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,880
Speaker 5: You're just like on a million apps and you're just

752
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,759
Speaker 5: like people don't even meet up, they just match to

753
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,719
Speaker 5: match and then they're like, you know, but I have

754
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 5: heard that with like the age limits, like in an

755
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 5: because it's a different generation. In the like generation, they

756
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 5: have more success, right because it's like they don't have

757
00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 5: the ghosting behavior, Like someone in a different generation wouldn't

758
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 5: be so rude as to just like drop off the

759
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 5: face of the planet and like not respond. So I

760
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 5: think that our fifty seven year old friend has a

761
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 5: really great shot, and I think it's it's exciting.

762
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 2: I love it.

763
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 3: I love that Sean asks what would be the best

764
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 3: way to get over trust issues. I'm assuming this is

765
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 3: probably in a relationship therapy.

766
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 4: Honestly, I think, yeah, so important, and it can really

767
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 4: help you work through like why it was so hurtful,

768
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 4: and like what being betrayed meant to you, and like

769
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:25,280
Speaker 4: how it hurt you. So I'm a big therapy advocate.

770
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 4: I think that yeah, getting.

771
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:30,400
Speaker 2: BR two is the best.

772
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 3: Okay, Gabby ass When do you think is an appropriate

773
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 3: time to ask if we want to move in together?

774
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:39,879
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of people are probably had

775
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 2: that question.

776
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 4: I think that when you feel like you are getting right,

777
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 4: you're almost the point where you want to move in.

778
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 4: I think you should have a check in and be like, hey,

779
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 4: like I could see us, you know, when the lease

780
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 4: is up, I could see us moving in. I think

781
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 4: I'm a big fan of just being honest. Like I

782
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 4: don't believe in game. I don't believe in like timing

783
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 4: it out or whatever. Like if you feel like you

784
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 4: want to move in with someone your lease is coming up,

785
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 4: I think bring it up, Like, I don't think it

786
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:14,319
Speaker 4: can hurt again if you're with the right person, even

787
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:15,920
Speaker 4: if they're not ready to move in with you yet,

788
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 4: it won't matter. They'll just be like, oh, like I

789
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 4: love my apartment, I want to live with my roommate

790
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 4: for another year. But like I'm so into you and like,

791
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 4: let's keep doing this. Like with the right person, it

792
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,879
Speaker 4: won't matter. So time to do it is when you

793
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:28,799
Speaker 4: when you feel it.

794
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 3: This is hard for me because I'm thinking about me

795
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 3: when I was in my dating ears and if I

796
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,840
Speaker 3: asked a guy if I was kind of ready, and

797
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 3: I asked again and he was like, yeah, what, I'm

798
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 3: not ready yet? Like I can't want to be, you know,

799
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,320
Speaker 3: but like I like, what what's happening.

800
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 2: I know that I would spine, they'd be in a

801
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 2: different box, can move boxes. I don't know what it is,

802
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 2: but it would sour it for me, and I.

803
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 4: Totally get that. Yeah, and it's like, but that's also

804
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:56,879
Speaker 4: important to.

805
00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,040
Speaker 2: Know it is. But I wonder. I wonder for someone.

806
00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 3: Like me, I could sour it and if I'd get

807
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 3: sour on it, but then in a year, if I'd

808
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 3: just been more.

809
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 2: Chill, more way and chill, yeah, more weight, chill far

810
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 2: who you.

811
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 4: Are and you have to like honor who you are,

812
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 4: you know what I mean?

813
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 1: And by the way, that might that might bring out

814
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:15,359
Speaker 1: something in him. I mean, if you were like oo,

815
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,239
Speaker 1: then it I mean, my gosh.

816
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:22,839
Speaker 2: It's just we are living in this comfort. I mean

817
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 2: some people call it a comfort crisis.

818
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,399
Speaker 1: I sort of enjoy all the comforts and I'm very

819
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: grateful for our evolution.

820
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 2: I don't mind then I can get food at my house.

821
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 3: I love it is my favorite app.

822
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 1: Like it's sad comfort crisis.

823
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 2: We're not evolving. I was like, I don't think we're good.

824
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 1: I think we are, but I think that that then

825
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 1: you're reminded, Okay, great, I can get the I can

826
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 1: get the uber eats fast, but I can't get the

827
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 1: relationship fast.

828
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,800
Speaker 2: And if I if I fuck up, and I got.

829
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 1: To go back and and have a do over and

830
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 1: repair and be like can I you know what I

831
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,359
Speaker 1: said that? And I can feel your sour and I

832
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: actually love you. And here's why I don't want to

833
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 1: move in right now. They might not make you so sour,

834
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 1: Like I don't think that at the sliding doors moment

835
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,359
Speaker 1: where like if you just waited and chilled, he would

836
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:16,799
Speaker 1: have been the one or she would have been the one.

837
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 4: Right.

838
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,799
Speaker 2: I think it is true. I agree with us. I

839
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,439
Speaker 2: agree with this. I think it's like great, why don't

840
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 2: you earn it?

841
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: I mean that's where I sit in and maybe it's

842
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 1: a fairy tale.

843
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 2: I have no idea, but I just think.

844
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:31,360
Speaker 1: That I don't know, it's kind of like the old school,

845
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 1: like nothing, nothing that you really want comes to you

846
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 1: without having to work for it.

847
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 4: Yeah.

848
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 2: Thanks, thank you so much for being here.

849
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 4: So lovely and both so wonderful and so easy to

850
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 4: talk to. So I agree you too.

851
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 2: I'm such a fan. I know we are. We were

852
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 2: so excited to have you.

853
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 1: And I also think that you know, as you as

854
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: you start this next part of your life, you're taking

855
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 1: this next step from creating content on one platform to another,

856
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 1: we are so rooting for you and we'll be along

857
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 1: for the ride and anytime you want to come back

858
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: and talk about yeah, the next.

859
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 2: Thing from out the show you do and your dreamcast.

860
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 1: I can't wait until oh my gosh, your dreamcast is

861
00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 1: so lucky they got the part.

862
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:16,439
Speaker 4: Thanks girl, I love it, appreciate it, appreciate it. Thanks

863
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 4: so much. I'll see you guys so much fun.

864
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 3: Dude, those kind of shows like The Perfect Couple, by

865
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 3: the way, that was like sort of set in that

866
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 3: same like nantuckety, like Camp Dinner, I.

867
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 2: Know, the summer, the summer, the summer vibes.

868
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like to me, it's like it's like one

869
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:32,799
Speaker 3: of those summer books that you like, you know, take

870
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 3: to the beach, but it's on it.

871
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, my aunts used to always read them by the

872
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,360
Speaker 1: pool while they were tuning.

873
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 2: Yes, I feel like that's my TV version of.

874
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 1: That, but I would always I think gotta be a

875
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:46,400
Speaker 1: little naughty. Oh yeah, yeah, Well she was saying slutty

876
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: white lotus, but I was actually gonna insert I was

877
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:50,359
Speaker 1: gonna go one step further and be like any little

878
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:51,720
Speaker 1: and maybe a little corny.

879
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,760
Speaker 3: Well it sounds like it's gonna be a little horny,

880
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:59,320
Speaker 3: slutty and all the things. Yeah, and the Foster sisters

881
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,640
Speaker 3: and they're gonna kill it. What a great collab. And

882
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 3: by the book, guys, by go buy Hotter and the

883
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 3: Hampton's it's a book already obviously that's what she's basing

884
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 3: it on.

885
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:11,959
Speaker 2: And uh and read it first.

886
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, let's call it the end of the episode.

887
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 4: M