Speaker 1: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 2: Once again, you guys already know it's your girl, Amada
Speaker 2: Laira and you're listening to Exactly Amada, a production of Ihearts.
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Speaker 2: Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Today's show,
Speaker 2: it's gonna be super fun because I already had him
Speaker 2: in the past as a guest, but today's gonna be
Speaker 2: co hosting Exactly Amada with me HAARLEI.
Speaker 1: First of all, how are you doing, Amana?
Speaker 4: I am super excited about this topic. It's one that
Speaker 4: I know you've been wanting to talk about for a
Speaker 4: very long time. Today on the show, we are talking
Speaker 4: about masculinity in popular media that of course covers so
Speaker 4: much ground from masculinity in our culture, toxic masculinity in
Speaker 4: society on social media. For today's topic, we have a
Speaker 4: very special guest. You may recognize his voice from a
Speaker 4: previous show. His name is Kelvin David. He's from Notoriously
Speaker 4: Dapper and he is back to bring his insights for
Speaker 4: this very important topic.
Speaker 3: Kelvin, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 5: Yay, thank you, Yay, thank you. Thank you for having
Speaker 5: me again. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 2: So there's so many things, there's so many different points
Speaker 2: to discuss when it comes to exploring masculinity in popular media.
Speaker 2: When you hear the word masculinity, what exactly do you hear?
Speaker 2: What exactly do you envision or think of?
Speaker 6: Well, I think of a word in masculinity. I'm thinking
Speaker 6: of a man that knows who he is and a
Speaker 6: man that lives with his own purpose. I think the
Speaker 6: media and societal standards of masculinity because sometimes construe man
Speaker 6: because you have one side of the standards saying that
Speaker 6: men need to be more vulnerable, men need to open up,
Speaker 6: men need to do this and that, and then you
Speaker 6: have another side of the same. You know, men aren't
Speaker 6: supposed to open up. They're supposed to be tough, They're
Speaker 6: supposed to be all these things that have this hard shell.
Speaker 6: So I think when a man can be both hard
Speaker 6: and soft at the same time and really be, you know,
Speaker 6: in tune with his purpose, to me, that's the definition
Speaker 6: of masculinity. I mean, you really can't get any better
Speaker 6: than that than having the best of both.
Speaker 2: Worlds, right, And how does the portrayal of masculinity evolved
Speaker 2: over the years in popular media.
Speaker 6: In your eyes, I think some of the keys is
Speaker 6: definitely time, because you know, when you think back like
Speaker 6: the nineteen tens and twenties and shit, like, the definition
Speaker 6: of a man or masculinity is a lot different than
Speaker 6: what it is now in the modern right, right, Like,
Speaker 6: you have men from like back in the days like
Speaker 6: the night and like the nineteen tens and twenties that
Speaker 6: just because they dressed nice, they were considered men, like
Speaker 6: they could be wife beaters, they could be obviously they
Speaker 6: were you know, more than likely racist during that time,
Speaker 6: so there was a lot of hatred in their heart.
Speaker 6: There was a lot of you know, negative attributes. But
Speaker 6: just because dress nice and they were a part of
Speaker 6: the community, they were considered like masculine and considered like
Speaker 6: a gentleman and stuff. But in this modern day and age,
Speaker 6: the way you dress doesn't make.
Speaker 5: You a man.
Speaker 2: You just hit a really interesting point to me, because
Speaker 2: I feel that we're in a generation, in an era
Speaker 2: where men now have evolved from their closet to ours, right,
Speaker 2: doing certain outfits, certain looks that go into like you
Speaker 2: know what now is known as unisex, right, So let's
Speaker 2: talk about the physical aspect, the wardrobe aspect of it,
Speaker 2: the visual aspect of it. Where now which you would
Speaker 2: have never seen this before, it's a popular trendy thing
Speaker 2: to see men wearing nail polish. It's now a statement
Speaker 2: of art. Back in the days, there was an era
Speaker 2: where men used to somewhat wear and I don't even
Speaker 2: thinks back in the day certain cultures where men used
Speaker 2: to wear like the skirt. It's like the skirt, pants, pants, skirts.
Speaker 2: We see more of that happening. We see more men
Speaker 2: now becoming more Even when it comes to colors, there
Speaker 2: was a time where certain colors define this is for women,
Speaker 2: this is for men, or this is for girls, this.
Speaker 3: Is for boys.
Speaker 1: Not anymore.
Speaker 2: Colors is just colors and everybody can do the same thing.
Speaker 2: I think the same thing goes with the hair. You know, clothes,
Speaker 2: hair that when you see them, masculinity does the way
Speaker 2: that you dress in your eyes or you know, the
Speaker 2: fashion statement of these days doesn't affect the masculinity for
Speaker 2: the popular eye, should it or does it?
Speaker 6: It shouldn't, but it does. I feel like in some
Speaker 6: societal standards, a lot of people would view a man
Speaker 6: that does those eclectic thing as not being masculine, okay
Speaker 6: in my eyes, you know, I've known plenty of men,
Speaker 6: including myself. You know that because they wear bright colors,
Speaker 6: or they get their nails done, or because you know,
Speaker 6: they wear something that's considered feminine to me doesn't make
Speaker 6: them less of a man. But that's just my personal,
Speaker 6: you know, opinion, in my personal life experience. And I
Speaker 6: feel as though, like the societal standard you know, has
Speaker 6: to change in some way because you know, if people
Speaker 6: do their history, heels were originally invented for men.
Speaker 2: I mean, we did have our disco day because I
Speaker 2: remember that was really trendy when men used to wear
Speaker 2: like those big platform shoes or whatever, and they weren't
Speaker 2: perceived as less masculine or less of a man because
Speaker 2: they were wearing these big ass heels that today you
Speaker 2: wouldn't barely ever see a man of rocking these you know,
Speaker 2: platform disco shoes whatever. That definitely hasn't evolved, but it
Speaker 2: was a thing back in the days.
Speaker 1: Here's something else that is interesting to me.
Speaker 3: As much as we have.
Speaker 2: Grown and visually been like, you know, accept me as
Speaker 2: I am, there is certain media platforms that tend to
Speaker 2: reinforce the traditional masculinity. For example, obviously when you see
Speaker 2: the news anchors, is there in your eyes certain media
Speaker 2: platform that just reinforce the fact that, you know, the
Speaker 2: masculinity should be portrayed in a certain way, I feel like.
Speaker 6: But then black culture, you know, there's a lot of
Speaker 6: stigma around black boys and black men. They need to
Speaker 6: be a certain way and be a certain standard, right,
Speaker 6: and there's like this, you know, there's a certain standard
Speaker 6: of what a black man should be in Black culture.
Speaker 3: Okay, talk about it.
Speaker 1: Latinos too, Latinos too. Let me tell you something because Latinos.
Speaker 2: Are also portrayed for the most part, and there's this stigma,
Speaker 2: you know, the macho man, you know, a machismo thing.
Speaker 2: So definitely it goes from one generation to the other
Speaker 2: when they're reinforcing that. In order for you to be
Speaker 2: a man u, macho, masculino, whatever, you have to act
Speaker 2: a certain way or look a certain way or whatever.
Speaker 2: Emotionally you can't be vulnerable or whatever. So not just
Speaker 2: for the black people, but go ahead, yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6: So like within our cultures, it's like it's hard for
Speaker 6: young black boys, it's hard for young black men to
Speaker 6: sometimes you know, if they're feeling different, if they feel like,
Speaker 6: you know, they want to be a little vulnerable, or
Speaker 6: they want to cry, or you know, there's something happens,
Speaker 6: and you know, they want to dress a little different.
Speaker 6: It's hard for them to come into their own when
Speaker 6: they're in their community because within a Black and Latino culture,
Speaker 6: you know, we are so strict about this is the
Speaker 6: way a man should act this, This is the way
Speaker 6: a man should be. You need to weigh your pants
Speaker 6: this way, you need to dress this way, talk this way.
Speaker 6: And you know, that can be detrimental to how you know,
Speaker 6: they grow up, especially when they leave that community and
Speaker 6: they go somewhere else, like they go to a college,
Speaker 6: or you know, they just go on like a field trip,
Speaker 6: or they go somewhere else and they see that, you know,
Speaker 6: other places are more accepting of who they are.
Speaker 2: Now, let's also talk about the emotional aspect of it,
Speaker 2: because I feel that that goes from one generation to
Speaker 2: the other, and I think that unconsciously they don't realize
Speaker 2: how it does affect.
Speaker 1: You know, we live in in a world where when
Speaker 1: a man cries, you're seen as being soft, You're seen
Speaker 1: as being you know, weak.
Speaker 2: I think that being able to be emotionally available and
Speaker 2: vulnerable is actually it showcases how strong you are. You know,
Speaker 2: you're in control of your emotions. You are in you
Speaker 2: are in tune with your emotions. And it's usually seen
Speaker 2: in such a negative light when it comes to men.
Speaker 3: Why do you think that is?
Speaker 1: Like why is it not okay?
Speaker 2: And you do see that a lot in the in
Speaker 2: the black community, where it's like stop currying, you know,
Speaker 2: men up, or even for girls, you know, suck it
Speaker 2: up like a man, or take it like why does
Speaker 2: it have to be so hard?
Speaker 3: And so you know, there's no great area.
Speaker 5: I think it has to go back.
Speaker 6: To the way that the societal standard of men, the
Speaker 6: way men are viewed. I feel like, you know, men
Speaker 6: mostly fight wars, right, men mostly do all these hard
Speaker 6: and you know, tough things. So you know, there's always
Speaker 6: been a stigma attached where you know, don't cry, you
Speaker 6: don't do this, you don't do that, right. So I
Speaker 6: mean I remember as a kid, my dad telling me
Speaker 6: that it was okay for me to cry, and you know,
Speaker 6: as a black dad, like.
Speaker 5: That was rare to be heard of, especially in.
Speaker 6: Like the early nineties, like that was rare to have
Speaker 6: a dad say it's okay for you to cry. He
Speaker 6: probably had similar feelings but were not able to express
Speaker 6: those feelings. So I think he wanted to make it
Speaker 6: okay for me to do so. And you know, I'm
Speaker 6: really not much of a crier. You know, I'm not
Speaker 6: really much of like an emotional crier kind of guy.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 6: I react out of like, you know, frustration, and sometimes
Speaker 6: I feel like like a little angry. But you know,
Speaker 6: as far as like crying, you know, it takes a
Speaker 6: lot for me to cry.
Speaker 5: And what I do.
Speaker 6: I usually cry in private because I don't like for
Speaker 6: I don't like for people to see me cry.
Speaker 1: Why does that happen?
Speaker 3: I'm a private c as well, you know.
Speaker 2: I think that also, Ladies, tell me if you feel me,
Speaker 2: I don't know me. Kid is being raised by a
Speaker 2: single mother, immigrant mother, which has really you know, they
Speaker 2: have really high expectations for what they expect your future
Speaker 2: to be, because they're like, if I crossed you know,
Speaker 2: the desert period to get here, you better not cry
Speaker 2: over this little patty thing like YO about to that,
Speaker 2: you know, so they have very high standards. It's always
Speaker 2: a man up, tough enough, Ma Tito you can't cry
Speaker 2: keep it up. And I am a private crier. It's like,
Speaker 2: I'll cry in the shower to myself. I ye me,
Speaker 2: and I'm not gonna say, oh, I give myself advice
Speaker 2: like you're doing good. I try to encourage myself and talk,
Speaker 2: you know. And it sucks that you have to do
Speaker 2: it privately. It sucks that you can't just be open
Speaker 2: and vulnerable. And I'm going to talk about it from
Speaker 2: even an entertainment side. I work on reality TV keyword work.
Speaker 2: I will work on a reality TV show and in
Speaker 2: many occasions we touch certain topics that make me vulnerable
Speaker 2: and I'm open enough to be emotional about it and
Speaker 2: cry and be like, yo, that really hurt my feelings
Speaker 2: or that really made me feel some type of way.
Speaker 2: And they look at look at this weak bitch, look
Speaker 2: at this da dah da da dah. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: why are we in a society where when you're emotionally
Speaker 2: open like that, it's so perceived in such a negative way.
Speaker 1: Instead of being like, damn, I can relate.
Speaker 3: I hate the fact.
Speaker 2: That there's so many people that are stuck in a
Speaker 2: room where they can't cry, they can't be vulnerable and
Speaker 2: then we see so many people committing suicide or stuck
Speaker 2: on drugs or you know, stuck on alcohol or just
Speaker 2: trying to find an outlet. Have you ever felt in
Speaker 2: a space of like, damn, this is so unfair, Like
Speaker 2: I have to come cry in a corner because or
Speaker 2: maybe you did bent to someone publicly, maybe a family member,
Speaker 2: and then they judge you for it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, I do feel like I have to
Speaker 6: cry privately because you know, I don't want people to
Speaker 6: see that side of me sometimes. And I know that's
Speaker 6: sad to say, because it's like, you know, I'm this
Speaker 6: guy that's like everybody should be vulnerable and do this
Speaker 6: and that. But I do live this double edge sword where,
Speaker 6: you know, in front of my daughters sometimes when I
Speaker 6: want to cry, you know, I'll wait until they go
Speaker 6: back home with with their mom or you know why why,
Speaker 6: I don't know, because it's just like I don't want them,
Speaker 6: you know, to see me in that state and maybe possibly,
Speaker 6: you know, for some odd reason, see me as like
Speaker 6: being weaker, soft.
Speaker 5: Than I am. Yeah, it's soft weak, you know.
Speaker 6: And that's sad to say, because it's like I want
Speaker 6: my daughters to be like, you know, daddy has emos's
Speaker 6: daddy cries and all this stuff. Yes, I've only cried
Speaker 6: in front of my daughters once and it was only
Speaker 6: like a like three three little tears and wife them
Speaker 6: my real quick.
Speaker 1: And it was like you you know what I mean, Yeah.
Speaker 3: That's crazy.
Speaker 2: But then at the same time, we expect them to
Speaker 2: feel open enough to trust us and talk to us
Speaker 2: and be like, it's okay to cry, It's okay to
Speaker 2: do this, but you can't see me do it, but
Speaker 2: you can come to me and do.
Speaker 1: It and unconsciously, you don't know how that is damaging.
Speaker 2: It's it's you know what, I think that my mom
Speaker 2: and I everybody admires our relationship.
Speaker 3: It's a roller coaster because now i'f it.
Speaker 2: Fact, no, nothing is perfect, but people that admire our relationship.
Speaker 2: I think the part of it was the fact that
Speaker 2: I saw her in so many vulnerable stages and she
Speaker 2: allowed me to see it. There's a lot of parents
Speaker 2: that they don't want their kids to see them cry.
Speaker 2: They don't want them to know that we're struggling. They
Speaker 2: don't want No, I want you to see I'm hurting,
Speaker 2: I'm human, because then like that you can connect with me.
Speaker 1: You can connect emotionally the struggle, the pain, the sadness,
Speaker 1: the whatever it may be.
Speaker 2: Sometimes as a parent, I think it's important for your
Speaker 2: children to see the human side of you. Daddy is strong,
Speaker 2: but you know what, Daddy has emotions, He has feelings,
Speaker 2: like I really heard his feelings or let me not
Speaker 2: do this, Like if you can see your parent in
Speaker 2: such a not strict light and see them as a
Speaker 2: human I think that is very important, and I'm glad
Speaker 2: that we touched that because there's so many young parents
Speaker 2: out there, just people overall, that the way that we
Speaker 2: have to raise our children is different than the way
Speaker 2: that we were raised because times have changed. Those things
Speaker 2: are important, and talking about the emotional part is important.
Speaker 2: Something I else want to talk about because I know
Speaker 2: that you've been passionate about it before and you've spoken
Speaker 2: about it. Is the physical aspect of what the world
Speaker 2: perceives as masculine. I know that men also have a
Speaker 2: lot of pressure that for the most part, we don't
Speaker 2: hear because we always hear about women talking about how
Speaker 2: insecure they feel about their body, how TV, social media,
Speaker 2: music videos, all of this makes women feel so insecure
Speaker 2: as if we all have to go get surgery.
Speaker 3: My body is not perfect. That da da da da.
Speaker 2: It creates bullieve me, It creates arexia, it creates eating disorders,
Speaker 2: it creates so many other things. But we never talk
Speaker 2: about the men they go through this. So what is
Speaker 2: your perspective when it comes to when it comes to
Speaker 2: men and the physical aspect of masculinity.
Speaker 6: There's definitely a harder standard for men to reach when
Speaker 6: it comes to reaching that physical version of masculinity because
Speaker 6: you know, we'll see these guys that have an extremely
Speaker 6: massive amount of muscle or like abs, all these things, right,
Speaker 6: and then that's what they portray as being masculine or
Speaker 6: being like, you know, ferocious and you know all these
Speaker 6: you know, masculine beauty, I would say, right. So it's
Speaker 6: like when you have a man that doesn't fit that standard,
Speaker 6: you know, men do feel insecure, especially when you know
Speaker 6: there's a whole media platform that dedicates their time to
Speaker 6: saying this is the way men should look, this is
Speaker 6: the way you know men are supposed to look. And
Speaker 6: then you have the other aspect of you know, men
Speaker 6: should just be who they are, right. Body positivity is
Speaker 6: for everybody. It's for every size, every gender, every age,
Speaker 6: every race. Right, I want to also talk about height
Speaker 6: because people feel short.
Speaker 5: I'm like, mean, he's not a man.
Speaker 1: Oh that is true.
Speaker 3: That is true.
Speaker 2: We always see women saying I want a tall man.
Speaker 2: I want to So what happens to all the short men? Mean, like,
Speaker 2: I never thought about that, but I'm glad that you're
Speaker 2: talking about it.
Speaker 1: And by the way, there's gonna go out, you know, there's.
Speaker 3: Gonna be crazy or whatever.
Speaker 2: But then they saw on the Instagram, right, ladies, they
Speaker 2: were doing like the survey or whatever about man's penis,
Speaker 2: and they were doing it based on height, with.
Speaker 3: All due respect, and they actually.
Speaker 2: Saw that most of the shorter men actually had the
Speaker 2: large you know, the larger penis. And you're one of
Speaker 2: those girls that I need a man. They has Unamama
Speaker 2: reads Bay has it.
Speaker 1: Well, you know what, you might not want to discredit
Speaker 1: the short men because a lot of them be packing.
Speaker 2: So with that being said, a lot of the short
Speaker 2: men too, I feel like they have they feel the
Speaker 2: need of having to fight. They're like really feisty, and
Speaker 2: they have this stigma they can the shorter you are,
Speaker 2: the feistier you are, because they feel like they have to.
Speaker 2: I don't know, fight against the world for making fun
Speaker 2: of them because they're shorter.
Speaker 3: That is so fair.
Speaker 1: Just because the man is tall doesn't make him any better.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and now you have this like new version of
Speaker 6: BBLS where like men are getting their legs broken to
Speaker 6: be taller, and that to me is like fucking sound
Speaker 6: like they get they really get dudes out here paying
Speaker 6: thousands of dollars the steamers broken in half to be
Speaker 6: three to six inches taller. Yeah, that's crazy, Like to me,
Speaker 6: that's really crazy.
Speaker 2: Because no, no, no, no, no, you can't say that that's
Speaker 2: really crazy because when you see the women out here
Speaker 2: full of surgery, you think that they look fine as hell.
Speaker 2: But anyways, get your boobs done, get stabbed inside so
Speaker 2: they can take the fat out, and then they turn
Speaker 2: you around and say.
Speaker 1: All the fact they took out of your stomach into
Speaker 1: your ass. Then you're laying there for crazy.
Speaker 3: You're really looking that's crazy.
Speaker 5: That's crazy, Like I mean, that's crazy. That is crazy.
Speaker 5: That like the whole societal standard has caused people to
Speaker 5: feel that way, do you know what I mean? Yeah,
Speaker 5: but society has to be held accountable in some way.
Speaker 1: They're not. But if we yeah, they're not.
Speaker 2: But if we lived in a world where it would
Speaker 2: be like all of a sudden, it is illegal to
Speaker 2: get surgery anywhere and everybody just had to be who
Speaker 2: they are.
Speaker 5: Yeah, what a baby.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you, it would be a tough world
Speaker 2: out here because a lot of the girls that you
Speaker 2: see out here looking all fine and crispy. By the
Speaker 2: way she stretched out her eyes, her she faked her eyebrows,
Speaker 2: her noses, that her cheekbels are added, her lips is
Speaker 2: not hers, her jawline is really not hers. That week
Speaker 2: that she got on, plus her tisses that her leg
Speaker 2: bulls done, her hits are not real, her ass is faked,
Speaker 2: you know when you.
Speaker 3: Were to look at it.
Speaker 2: And then now we're also in the world where men
Speaker 2: do the same thing, which is also kind of giving
Speaker 2: equality and fairness. Where the men are wearing lace fronts
Speaker 2: for though they ain't got no hair, they're adding on
Speaker 2: these glued on hairlines.
Speaker 1: You know, they're getting the six packs done.
Speaker 2: Like, we live in a world where we're so faked,
Speaker 2: but we expect so much realness from each other.
Speaker 5: That was good. That was good.
Speaker 1: Bars, your bars, you know, were living up.
Speaker 2: We live in a world where we expect so much
Speaker 2: perfection from each other. We expect these perfect bodies, these
Speaker 2: perfect hairlines, these perfect skin, this that all this other craft.
Speaker 2: But we expect so much realness from each other, like
Speaker 2: be real, to be to me, be honest with me,
Speaker 2: be loyal, to be be allest.
Speaker 1: But you're not even that to yourself exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So you know, if we really have to live
Speaker 2: in a world where we accepted everyone as they are,
Speaker 2: I don't know if well. I mean there was a
Speaker 2: time where things were like that, but it would be
Speaker 2: very hard to go back. It would be very it
Speaker 2: would be very hard to go back. And not to
Speaker 2: mention the fact that society, who needs to somewhat be
Speaker 2: blamed for it, has made so much money out of
Speaker 2: our insecurities.
Speaker 3: For sure, you know, talk about it.
Speaker 6: Men are responsible for the way women feel about the body,
Speaker 6: or do you think it's other women? Because there's this
Speaker 6: online debate thing that says that men really prefer women
Speaker 6: more natural and women and other women that needs to
Speaker 6: be in competition with other women?
Speaker 5: Do you think that's true?
Speaker 1: Are for he's looking and swimming data he's looking. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you why.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, why, I honestly think that we're really
Speaker 2: messes up the mentality when it comes to the physical
Speaker 2: part is porn.
Speaker 1: I'm blaming you. I'm blaming it important because I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: Tell you why.
Speaker 2: When the porn that that these boys grow up as
Speaker 2: men to watch, they're looking at these perfect bodies, right.
Speaker 1: The boobs don't even jiggle, most of them.
Speaker 2: They're like all these perfect boobs, the ways the skin
Speaker 2: which you know, it's like they have makeup on it.
Speaker 1: It's like a whole thing. I've been on a porno set.
Speaker 1: It's definitely not what you see in the movie.
Speaker 2: So there's like a whole you know, production behind this,
Speaker 2: and men create this mentality of this is what I want,
Speaker 2: this is what makes me hot, this is what I've seen.
Speaker 1: When you look out in the street, you're.
Speaker 2: Looking like you're looking for the comfort of your mother,
Speaker 2: right with the sexiness of the peel of what you
Speaker 2: grew up watching that turned you on on these porn
Speaker 2: videos and all this stuff. So you're looking for this
Speaker 2: this mix and that mix when you go.
Speaker 1: Out here to these streets.
Speaker 2: There's great women out here who are responsible, well educated,
Speaker 2: financially stable, all these great things morals, values, but doesn't
Speaker 2: look like what you see.
Speaker 1: Or what you what makes you hot, whatever. So it
Speaker 1: just puts a really.
Speaker 2: High standard for women to fit into this this perfection.
Speaker 2: And then you have society that gives you Victoria's Secret models,
Speaker 2: that gives you photoshop images of these women all this
Speaker 2: other stuff.
Speaker 1: And I think the.
Speaker 2: Women naturally are competitive and we compete against each other.
Speaker 2: But between society and the men that we want, we
Speaker 2: want you to want us, and you don't want us
Speaker 2: because we don't look this way.
Speaker 3: It makes it very hard.
Speaker 2: If you even look at the porn for the most part,
Speaker 2: you have some fig guys, but a lot of them
Speaker 2: are not even fig.
Speaker 3: They could be fat.
Speaker 2: You could be fat, you could be square, you have
Speaker 2: no ass, you can have a little dingling, you have anything,
Speaker 2: and we'll still take you.
Speaker 5: That's true.
Speaker 2: So it's very it's very unfair. Is the standards are
Speaker 2: very uneven?
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, especially especially when you put it
Speaker 6: in that way. You know, I didn't even think about
Speaker 6: the whole porn aspect of it, and how young boys
Speaker 6: are growing up with this, like you know, with this
Speaker 6: ideal like body image of what a woman should be,
Speaker 6: and it's hard to shake that when you're like a
Speaker 6: fifteen year old boy and you view this, I'm not
Speaker 6: a porn and then you're like twenty and you're trying
Speaker 6: to get this girl, You're like, wait, she doesn't look
Speaker 6: like the girl I saw when I was fifteen.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's some fuckf.
Speaker 2: And even sexually, and even sexually women, a lot of
Speaker 2: them become insecure because I've had this conversation before where
Speaker 2: they become insecure because they feel that they have to
Speaker 2: do what their men like or what they've seen based.
Speaker 1: On what they've watched.
Speaker 2: It's not even real because if you were to be
Speaker 2: on a sess and you see that there's five cameras,
Speaker 2: there's the hairstyles, the makeup of this that that does assist.
Speaker 2: There's a whole bunch of people making sure that this
Speaker 2: image gets created for your entertainment. It makes it unfair
Speaker 2: for women as well. So I'm glad that we reached
Speaker 2: this topic because these are the things that people think
Speaker 2: about a lot of times but don't have the guts
Speaker 2: to talk about publicly. And I love the fact that
Speaker 2: you are willing to be open, vulnerable, honest, transparent. Maybe
Speaker 2: not with your kids, but you might want to work
Speaker 2: on that. Yeah, I work on but we need more
Speaker 2: people that are willing to be open and honest and
Speaker 2: just accept themselves for who they are and still work
Speaker 2: on themselves because things are not perfect.
Speaker 3: It's a working process.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad to have you working with Find you
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 6: You can find me on Instagram at Kelvin Davis and
Speaker 6: then you can find me on Facebook at no Torsti
Speaker 6: Dapper at nottorsidepper dot com.
Speaker 5: And you know you could get my book wherever you
Speaker 5: know books are sold.
Speaker 6: It's no how to be a modern dealer maate with
Speaker 6: men or telling body confidence.
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Strong, I know that's right.
Speaker 1: And by the way, guys, listen, if there's anything you
Speaker 1: could take home with you today from today's conversation.
Speaker 2: In my eyes, it's just before you go ahead and
Speaker 2: judge someone else, especially also you know a man, before
Speaker 2: you go judge somebody else, check you first. You know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. It's it's tough out hearing this world
Speaker 2: for everybody. Everybody's going through their own struggles in different levels,
Speaker 2: in different ways. It'stop being so damn judgmental about somebody's
Speaker 2: body about the way they should dress, about the way
Speaker 2: that they should act. Mind your own damn business. The
Speaker 2: same way that you don't want people to judge you,
Speaker 2: let other people be who they are. We were all
Speaker 2: born different and that's what makes us us, and that
Speaker 2: combination is why we're in this world.
Speaker 3: To accept each other for who we are.
Speaker 2: Whether a man is sure, whether he's and that's another thing, ladies,
Speaker 2: if you feel that you have a lot of pressure,
Speaker 2: let's also think that men. Men are also going through
Speaker 2: their own demons. They're also going through their own struggles
Speaker 2: with society in their household, the way that we're raised
Speaker 2: at work, whatever it may be. Some judging people for
Speaker 2: the how tall they are, what they're wearing this, and
Speaker 2: that you know where they live, what car they drive.
Speaker 2: Today you could have everything and tomorrow you could lose it,
Speaker 2: you know, and vice versa. I've known a lot of
Speaker 2: men that didn't have nothing, and all it took was
Speaker 2: this one opportunity for his whole life to change. And
Speaker 2: you missed out on this good man because of this situation.
Speaker 2: So just be more open minded and less judgmental. With
Speaker 2: that being said, guys, today's episode, I've really, really enjoyed it,
Speaker 2: and if you didn't get an opportunity to, you know,
Speaker 2: tell anybody about it, they can go ahead and watch
Speaker 2: it again on the YouTube channel. Just go to the
Speaker 2: search part and ready. Exactly Amada. Thank you once again
Speaker 2: for being part of Exactly Amada. Follow me on Instagram
Speaker 2: at Amala al And amadat Latinika al And and remember
Speaker 2: that this has been a of Iheart's Microfuda podcast network.
Speaker 3: For more podcasts from.
Speaker 2: My heart, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or
Speaker 2: wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is your girl,
Speaker 2: Amara Negra and you just heard exactly among