WEBVTT - Exploring Masculinity in Popular Media 0:00:02.360 --> 0:00:03.680 Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:06.080 Once again, you guys already know it's your girl, Amada 0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:10.680 Laira and you're listening to Exactly Amada, a production of Ihearts. 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:12.600 Thank you guys for tuning in as usual, and don't 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:13.360 forget to give us. 0:00:13.280 --> 0:00:14.080 Those five stars. 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:18.439 Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Today's show, 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:22.160 it's gonna be super fun because I already had him 0:00:22.239 --> 0:00:25.239 in the past as a guest, but today's gonna be 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:28.000 co hosting Exactly Amada with me HAARLEI. 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:30.720 First of all, how are you doing, Amana? 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:33.360 I am super excited about this topic. It's one that 0:00:33.400 --> 0:00:35.239 I know you've been wanting to talk about for a 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:38.720 very long time. Today on the show, we are talking 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:43.519 about masculinity in popular media that of course covers so 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:49.600 much ground from masculinity in our culture, toxic masculinity in 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:54.080 society on social media. For today's topic, we have a 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:57.400 very special guest. You may recognize his voice from a 0:00:57.440 --> 0:01:01.840 previous show. His name is Kelvin David. He's from Notoriously 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:05.280 Dapper and he is back to bring his insights for 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:06.800 this very important topic. 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:08.199 Kelvin, Welcome to the show. 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:11.400 Yay, thank you, Yay, thank you. Thank you for having 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:12.759 me again. I'm excited to be here. 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:15.679 So there's so many things, there's so many different points 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:20.039 to discuss when it comes to exploring masculinity in popular media. 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:25.320 When you hear the word masculinity, what exactly do you hear? 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:27.360 What exactly do you envision or think of? 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:29.960 Well, I think of a word in masculinity. I'm thinking 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:33.920 of a man that knows who he is and a 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:37.039 man that lives with his own purpose. I think the 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:42.400 media and societal standards of masculinity because sometimes construe man 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:46.000 because you have one side of the standards saying that 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:48.520 men need to be more vulnerable, men need to open up, 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:50.440 men need to do this and that, and then you 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:53.600 have another side of the same. You know, men aren't 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:56.120 supposed to open up. They're supposed to be tough, They're 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:58.960 supposed to be all these things that have this hard shell. 0:01:59.360 --> 0:02:04.240 So I think when a man can be both hard 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:07.920 and soft at the same time and really be, you know, 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:11.280 in tune with his purpose, to me, that's the definition 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:14.440 of masculinity. I mean, you really can't get any better 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:18.040 than that than having the best of both. 0:02:17.880 --> 0:02:21.240 Worlds, right, And how does the portrayal of masculinity evolved 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:22.799 over the years in popular media. 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:25.519 In your eyes, I think some of the keys is 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:28.240 definitely time, because you know, when you think back like 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:32.560 the nineteen tens and twenties and shit, like, the definition 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:35.119 of a man or masculinity is a lot different than 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:39.040 what it is now in the modern right, right, Like, 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:41.080 you have men from like back in the days like 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:43.720 the night and like the nineteen tens and twenties that 0:02:43.880 --> 0:02:47.040 just because they dressed nice, they were considered men, like 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:50.280 they could be wife beaters, they could be obviously they 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:53.880 were you know, more than likely racist during that time, 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:56.560 so there was a lot of hatred in their heart. 0:02:56.680 --> 0:02:59.480 There was a lot of you know, negative attributes. But 0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:02.240 just because dress nice and they were a part of 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:06.560 the community, they were considered like masculine and considered like 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:10.120 a gentleman and stuff. But in this modern day and age, 0:03:10.480 --> 0:03:12.120 the way you dress doesn't make. 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:12.440 You a man. 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:14.840 You just hit a really interesting point to me, because 0:03:14.960 --> 0:03:17.880 I feel that we're in a generation, in an era 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:23.160 where men now have evolved from their closet to ours, right, 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:26.800 doing certain outfits, certain looks that go into like you 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:29.800 know what now is known as unisex, right, So let's 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:33.799 talk about the physical aspect, the wardrobe aspect of it, 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:37.320 the visual aspect of it. Where now which you would 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:40.400 have never seen this before, it's a popular trendy thing 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:44.400 to see men wearing nail polish. It's now a statement 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:46.880 of art. Back in the days, there was an era 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:49.680 where men used to somewhat wear and I don't even 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:52.520 thinks back in the day certain cultures where men used 0:03:52.520 --> 0:03:55.800 to wear like the skirt. It's like the skirt, pants, pants, skirts. 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:59.200 We see more of that happening. We see more men 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:01.840 now becoming more Even when it comes to colors, there 0:04:01.920 --> 0:04:05.680 was a time where certain colors define this is for women, 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:08.240 this is for men, or this is for girls, this. 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:08.720 Is for boys. 0:04:08.880 --> 0:04:09.480 Not anymore. 0:04:10.040 --> 0:04:12.200 Colors is just colors and everybody can do the same thing. 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:14.800 I think the same thing goes with the hair. You know, clothes, 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:18.400 hair that when you see them, masculinity does the way 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:21.720 that you dress in your eyes or you know, the 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:26.359 fashion statement of these days doesn't affect the masculinity for 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:29.480 the popular eye, should it or does it? 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:32.400 It shouldn't, but it does. I feel like in some 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:36.560 societal standards, a lot of people would view a man 0:04:36.640 --> 0:04:41.440 that does those eclectic thing as not being masculine, okay 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:45.120 in my eyes, you know, I've known plenty of men, 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:49.440 including myself. You know that because they wear bright colors, 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:51.400 or they get their nails done, or because you know, 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:54.840 they wear something that's considered feminine to me doesn't make 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:57.680 them less of a man. But that's just my personal, 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:01.479 you know, opinion, in my personal life experience. And I 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:05.560 feel as though, like the societal standard you know, has 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:07.599 to change in some way because you know, if people 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:12.200 do their history, heels were originally invented for men. 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:14.600 I mean, we did have our disco day because I 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:17.120 remember that was really trendy when men used to wear 0:05:17.200 --> 0:05:20.320 like those big platform shoes or whatever, and they weren't 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:23.679 perceived as less masculine or less of a man because 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:27.480 they were wearing these big ass heels that today you 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:30.600 wouldn't barely ever see a man of rocking these you know, 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:35.760 platform disco shoes whatever. That definitely hasn't evolved, but it 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:37.200 was a thing back in the days. 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:39.440 Here's something else that is interesting to me. 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:40.760 As much as we have. 0:05:40.920 --> 0:05:43.440 Grown and visually been like, you know, accept me as 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:46.560 I am, there is certain media platforms that tend to 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:50.440 reinforce the traditional masculinity. For example, obviously when you see 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:53.400 the news anchors, is there in your eyes certain media 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:56.440 platform that just reinforce the fact that, you know, the 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:59.400 masculinity should be portrayed in a certain way, I feel like. 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:02.160 But then black culture, you know, there's a lot of 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:05.599 stigma around black boys and black men. They need to 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:08.960 be a certain way and be a certain standard, right, 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:11.440 and there's like this, you know, there's a certain standard 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:14.279 of what a black man should be in Black culture. 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:16.200 Okay, talk about it. 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:20.440 Latinos too, Latinos too. Let me tell you something because Latinos. 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:22.400 Are also portrayed for the most part, and there's this stigma, 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:26.800 you know, the macho man, you know, a machismo thing. 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:29.880 So definitely it goes from one generation to the other 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:32.960 when they're reinforcing that. In order for you to be 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:37.520 a man u, macho, masculino, whatever, you have to act 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:40.040 a certain way or look a certain way or whatever. 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:44.039 Emotionally you can't be vulnerable or whatever. So not just 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:47.120 for the black people, but go ahead, yeah. 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:47.720 Yeah, yeah. 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:51.320 So like within our cultures, it's like it's hard for 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:54.560 young black boys, it's hard for young black men to 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:57.719 sometimes you know, if they're feeling different, if they feel like, 0:06:57.760 --> 0:06:59.839 you know, they want to be a little vulnerable, or 0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:02.200 they want to cry, or you know, there's something happens, 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:04.360 and you know, they want to dress a little different. 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:07.360 It's hard for them to come into their own when 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:12.600 they're in their community because within a Black and Latino culture, 0:07:12.760 --> 0:07:14.880 you know, we are so strict about this is the 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:16.720 way a man should act this, This is the way 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:19.080 a man should be. You need to weigh your pants 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:21.440 this way, you need to dress this way, talk this way. 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:26.000 And you know, that can be detrimental to how you know, 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:30.840 they grow up, especially when they leave that community and 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:33.200 they go somewhere else, like they go to a college, 0:07:33.280 --> 0:07:35.720 or you know, they just go on like a field trip, 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:38.640 or they go somewhere else and they see that, you know, 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:41.400 other places are more accepting of who they are. 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:45.600 Now, let's also talk about the emotional aspect of it, 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:49.440 because I feel that that goes from one generation to 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:52.000 the other, and I think that unconsciously they don't realize 0:07:52.000 --> 0:07:53.080 how it does affect. 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:56.000 You know, we live in in a world where when 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:59.680 a man cries, you're seen as being soft, You're seen 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:01.680 as being you know, weak. 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:05.440 I think that being able to be emotionally available and 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:10.200 vulnerable is actually it showcases how strong you are. You know, 0:08:10.200 --> 0:08:12.280 you're in control of your emotions. You are in you 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:17.320 are in tune with your emotions. And it's usually seen 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:19.360 in such a negative light when it comes to men. 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:21.120 Why do you think that is? 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:24.000 Like why is it not okay? 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:26.520 And you do see that a lot in the in 0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:30.440 the black community, where it's like stop currying, you know, 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:32.960 men up, or even for girls, you know, suck it 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:35.600 up like a man, or take it like why does 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:37.240 it have to be so hard? 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:40.040 And so you know, there's no great area. 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:48.920 I think it has to go back. 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:52.200 To the way that the societal standard of men, the 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:54.600 way men are viewed. I feel like, you know, men 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:58.160 mostly fight wars, right, men mostly do all these hard 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:02.240 and you know, tough things. So you know, there's always 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:06.200 been a stigma attached where you know, don't cry, you 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:08.720 don't do this, you don't do that, right. So I 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:11.560 mean I remember as a kid, my dad telling me 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.640 that it was okay for me to cry, and you know, 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:15.959 as a black dad, like. 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:18.439 That was rare to be heard of, especially in. 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:21.960 Like the early nineties, like that was rare to have 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:24.760 a dad say it's okay for you to cry. He 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:29.680 probably had similar feelings but were not able to express 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:32.160 those feelings. So I think he wanted to make it 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:35.040 okay for me to do so. And you know, I'm 0:09:35.120 --> 0:09:37.600 really not much of a crier. You know, I'm not 0:09:37.640 --> 0:09:40.520 really much of like an emotional crier kind of guy. 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:41.040 Now. 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:45.079 I react out of like, you know, frustration, and sometimes 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:47.160 I feel like like a little angry. But you know, 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:49.520 as far as like crying, you know, it takes a 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:51.280 lot for me to cry. 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:52.040 And what I do. 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:55.480 I usually cry in private because I don't like for 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:57.280 I don't like for people to see me cry. 0:09:57.520 --> 0:09:58.840 Why does that happen? 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:01.400 I'm a private c as well, you know. 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:04.800 I think that also, Ladies, tell me if you feel me, 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:06.920 I don't know me. Kid is being raised by a 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:10.800 single mother, immigrant mother, which has really you know, they 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:13.640 have really high expectations for what they expect your future 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:16.640 to be, because they're like, if I crossed you know, 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:20.320 the desert period to get here, you better not cry 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:22.599 over this little patty thing like YO about to that, 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:26.160 you know, so they have very high standards. It's always 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:31.079 a man up, tough enough, Ma Tito you can't cry 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:34.120 keep it up. And I am a private crier. It's like, 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:37.160 I'll cry in the shower to myself. I ye me, 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:39.120 and I'm not gonna say, oh, I give myself advice 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:42.800 like you're doing good. I try to encourage myself and talk, 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:45.000 you know. And it sucks that you have to do 0:10:45.040 --> 0:10:47.960 it privately. It sucks that you can't just be open 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:50.080 and vulnerable. And I'm going to talk about it from 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:55.520 even an entertainment side. I work on reality TV keyword work. 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:58.560 I will work on a reality TV show and in 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:01.920 many occasions we touch certain topics that make me vulnerable 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:04.520 and I'm open enough to be emotional about it and 0:11:04.520 --> 0:11:07.680 cry and be like, yo, that really hurt my feelings 0:11:07.800 --> 0:11:09.200 or that really made me feel some type of way. 0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:12.040 And they look at look at this weak bitch, look 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:13.680 at this da dah da da dah. And I'm like, 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.640 why are we in a society where when you're emotionally 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:20.680 open like that, it's so perceived in such a negative way. 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:23.480 Instead of being like, damn, I can relate. 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:29.880 I hate the fact. 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:32.440 That there's so many people that are stuck in a 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:34.640 room where they can't cry, they can't be vulnerable and 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:37.600 then we see so many people committing suicide or stuck 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:40.800 on drugs or you know, stuck on alcohol or just 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:44.240 trying to find an outlet. Have you ever felt in 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:47.160 a space of like, damn, this is so unfair, Like 0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:49.320 I have to come cry in a corner because or 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:52.720 maybe you did bent to someone publicly, maybe a family member, 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:54.199 and then they judge you for it. 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.040 Yeah, you know, I do feel like I have to 0:11:58.080 --> 0:12:02.600 cry privately because you know, I don't want people to 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:05.959 see that side of me sometimes. And I know that's 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:07.680 sad to say, because it's like, you know, I'm this 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:10.679 guy that's like everybody should be vulnerable and do this 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.680 and that. But I do live this double edge sword where, 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:17.120 you know, in front of my daughters sometimes when I 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:19.840 want to cry, you know, I'll wait until they go 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:24.280 back home with with their mom or you know why why, 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:26.800 I don't know, because it's just like I don't want them, 0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:30.000 you know, to see me in that state and maybe possibly, 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:33.000 you know, for some odd reason, see me as like 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:35.079 being weaker, soft. 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:36.880 Than I am. Yeah, it's soft weak, you know. 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:40.040 And that's sad to say, because it's like I want 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:42.840 my daughters to be like, you know, daddy has emos's 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:46.200 daddy cries and all this stuff. Yes, I've only cried 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:47.960 in front of my daughters once and it was only 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:51.160 like a like three three little tears and wife them 0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:51.959 my real quick. 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:57.120 And it was like you you know what I mean, Yeah. 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:56.720 That's crazy. 0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:58.440 But then at the same time, we expect them to 0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:00.840 feel open enough to trust us and talk to us 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:02.560 and be like, it's okay to cry, It's okay to 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:04.440 do this, but you can't see me do it, but 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:05.760 you can come to me and do. 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:09.720 It and unconsciously, you don't know how that is damaging. 0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:12.600 It's it's you know what, I think that my mom 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:14.720 and I everybody admires our relationship. 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:16.440 It's a roller coaster because now i'f it. 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:19.760 Fact, no, nothing is perfect, but people that admire our relationship. 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:21.360 I think the part of it was the fact that 0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:23.680 I saw her in so many vulnerable stages and she 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:26.000 allowed me to see it. There's a lot of parents 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:28.360 that they don't want their kids to see them cry. 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.000 They don't want them to know that we're struggling. They 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:33.040 don't want No, I want you to see I'm hurting, 0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:36.280 I'm human, because then like that you can connect with me. 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:40.640 You can connect emotionally the struggle, the pain, the sadness, 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:42.040 the whatever it may be. 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:45.040 Sometimes as a parent, I think it's important for your 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:48.640 children to see the human side of you. Daddy is strong, 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:51.319 but you know what, Daddy has emotions, He has feelings, 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:54.240 like I really heard his feelings or let me not 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.760 do this, Like if you can see your parent in 0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:59.400 such a not strict light and see them as a 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:03.000 human I think that is very important, and I'm glad 0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:05.600 that we touched that because there's so many young parents 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:08.280 out there, just people overall, that the way that we 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:10.079 have to raise our children is different than the way 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:12.680 that we were raised because times have changed. Those things 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:15.120 are important, and talking about the emotional part is important. 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:17.280 Something I else want to talk about because I know 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:19.600 that you've been passionate about it before and you've spoken 0:14:19.600 --> 0:14:23.000 about it. Is the physical aspect of what the world 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:26.880 perceives as masculine. I know that men also have a 0:14:26.880 --> 0:14:29.160 lot of pressure that for the most part, we don't 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:32.320 hear because we always hear about women talking about how 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:36.280 insecure they feel about their body, how TV, social media, 0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:39.600 music videos, all of this makes women feel so insecure 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:41.480 as if we all have to go get surgery. 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:43.400 My body is not perfect. That da da da da. 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:46.800 It creates bullieve me, It creates arexia, it creates eating disorders, 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:48.960 it creates so many other things. But we never talk 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:52.040 about the men they go through this. So what is 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:54.080 your perspective when it comes to when it comes to 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:56.720 men and the physical aspect of masculinity. 0:14:57.040 --> 0:15:00.440 There's definitely a harder standard for men to reach when 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:05.240 it comes to reaching that physical version of masculinity because 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:08.520 you know, we'll see these guys that have an extremely 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:12.800 massive amount of muscle or like abs, all these things, right, 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:16.320 and then that's what they portray as being masculine or 0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:19.880 being like, you know, ferocious and you know all these 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:23.320 you know, masculine beauty, I would say, right. So it's 0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:26.080 like when you have a man that doesn't fit that standard, 0:15:26.520 --> 0:15:29.960 you know, men do feel insecure, especially when you know 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:33.840 there's a whole media platform that dedicates their time to 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:36.120 saying this is the way men should look, this is 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:39.080 the way you know men are supposed to look. And 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:42.360 then you have the other aspect of you know, men 0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:46.080 should just be who they are, right. Body positivity is 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:48.840 for everybody. It's for every size, every gender, every age, 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:50.920 every race. Right, I want to also talk about height 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:53.880 because people feel short. 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.920 I'm like, mean, he's not a man. 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:01.720 Oh that is true. 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:02.280 That is true. 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:05.520 We always see women saying I want a tall man. 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:08.600 I want to So what happens to all the short men? Mean, like, 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.360 I never thought about that, but I'm glad that you're 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:11.160 talking about it. 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:14.160 And by the way, there's gonna go out, you know, there's. 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:14.920 Gonna be crazy or whatever. 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:17.800 But then they saw on the Instagram, right, ladies, they 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:21.440 were doing like the survey or whatever about man's penis, 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:23.640 and they were doing it based on height, with. 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:25.880 All due respect, and they actually. 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:29.520 Saw that most of the shorter men actually had the 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:32.120 large you know, the larger penis. And you're one of 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:34.880 those girls that I need a man. They has Unamama 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:36.280 reads Bay has it. 0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:39.240 Well, you know what, you might not want to discredit 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:41.520 the short men because a lot of them be packing. 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:44.360 So with that being said, a lot of the short 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:46.120 men too, I feel like they have they feel the 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:49.320 need of having to fight. They're like really feisty, and 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:51.720 they have this stigma they can the shorter you are, 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:54.160 the feistier you are, because they feel like they have to. 0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:57.360 I don't know, fight against the world for making fun 0:16:57.360 --> 0:16:58.320 of them because they're shorter. 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:00.520 That is so fair. 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:03.800 Just because the man is tall doesn't make him any better. 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:07.000 Yeah, and now you have this like new version of 0:17:07.440 --> 0:17:10.359 BBLS where like men are getting their legs broken to 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:13.600 be taller, and that to me is like fucking sound 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:17.160 like they get they really get dudes out here paying 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:21.520 thousands of dollars the steamers broken in half to be 0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:26.199 three to six inches taller. Yeah, that's crazy, Like to me, 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:27.400 that's really crazy. 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:29.760 Because no, no, no, no, no, you can't say that that's 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:32.160 really crazy because when you see the women out here 0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:34.840 full of surgery, you think that they look fine as hell. 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:37.960 But anyways, get your boobs done, get stabbed inside so 0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:40.040 they can take the fat out, and then they turn 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:41.000 you around and say. 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:42.680 All the fact they took out of your stomach into 0:17:42.720 --> 0:17:45.119 your ass. Then you're laying there for crazy. 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:47.359 You're really looking that's crazy. 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:52.119 That's crazy, Like I mean, that's crazy. That is crazy. 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:55.239 That like the whole societal standard has caused people to 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:58.240 feel that way, do you know what I mean? Yeah, 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:01.360 but society has to be held accountable in some way. 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:04.840 They're not. But if we yeah, they're not. 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:06.840 But if we lived in a world where it would 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:08.600 be like all of a sudden, it is illegal to 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:11.760 get surgery anywhere and everybody just had to be who 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:12.320 they are. 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:15.040 Yeah, what a baby. 0:18:15.359 --> 0:18:18.399 Let me tell you, it would be a tough world 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.680 out here because a lot of the girls that you 0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:23.240 see out here looking all fine and crispy. By the 0:18:23.240 --> 0:18:27.359 way she stretched out her eyes, her she faked her eyebrows, 0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:29.879 her noses, that her cheekbels are added, her lips is 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:32.320 not hers, her jawline is really not hers. That week 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:34.520 that she got on, plus her tisses that her leg 0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:38.160 bulls done, her hits are not real, her ass is faked, 0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:39.000 you know when you. 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:39.840 Were to look at it. 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:41.960 And then now we're also in the world where men 0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:44.320 do the same thing, which is also kind of giving 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:47.480 equality and fairness. Where the men are wearing lace fronts 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:49.840 for though they ain't got no hair, they're adding on 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:51.560 these glued on hairlines. 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:53.919 You know, they're getting the six packs done. 0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:56.840 Like, we live in a world where we're so faked, 0:18:56.840 --> 0:18:59.000 but we expect so much realness from each other. 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:08.280 That was good. That was good. 0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:11.760 Bars, your bars, you know, were living up. 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:13.880 We live in a world where we expect so much 0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:17.840 perfection from each other. We expect these perfect bodies, these 0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:22.200 perfect hairlines, these perfect skin, this that all this other craft. 0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:25.600 But we expect so much realness from each other, like 0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:28.600 be real, to be to me, be honest with me, 0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:30.600 be loyal, to be be allest. 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:33.560 But you're not even that to yourself exactly. 0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:36.879