1
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:11,160
Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden the Hour.

2
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:15,280
Speaker 1: We're back again, and thanks so much for joining us again. Kathy,

3
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:16,880
Speaker 1: are you so excited to be here?

4
00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,000
Speaker 2: I mean, I am so happy to be here. I

5
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:25,400
Speaker 2: am all decorated for Christmas. I am done with Thanksgiving.

6
00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:29,280
Speaker 2: I'm on to the next holiday. I'm healthy, I've been sick,

7
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:33,400
Speaker 2: I'm healthy again. It's all good, all good, it's all good. Okay.

8
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:38,720
Speaker 2: Today we're going to get into making big decisions, whether

9
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:44,960
Speaker 2: it's cosmetic breakups or anything in between. And you know, Susan,

10
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,640
Speaker 2: a lot goes in to making tough choices. And I

11
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:53,840
Speaker 2: hate to say this, but as you and I get older,

12
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:58,880
Speaker 2: it seems like we have maybe less decisions, but they

13
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,000
Speaker 2: seem bigger. Does that make sense?

14
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. If there's less, I don't know.

15
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,880
Speaker 2: I felt the decisions I make are momentous.

16
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:10,160
Speaker 1: Like they're different maybe than when we were raising kids,

17
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,160
Speaker 1: but they're still decisions.

18
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:18,480
Speaker 2: If you will, all right, well, tell me what's the

19
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,080
Speaker 2: biggest decision you've made lately?

20
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,959
Speaker 1: I mean not to scream at my daughter when I

21
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:25,679
Speaker 1: was visiting.

22
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,400
Speaker 2: Let me help you all out here. As you all know,

23
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,760
Speaker 2: Susan is a clean freak. We're going to cut to

24
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:36,120
Speaker 2: the end of this story. Her daughter is not and

25
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:37,720
Speaker 2: Susan my granddaughter.

26
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,920
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, it was our thirteenth birthday. I scrubbed from

27
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,279
Speaker 1: morning until dus.

28
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,440
Speaker 2: Okay, so your big decision to not scream. But the

29
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,440
Speaker 2: other big decision you made, which I don't think is

30
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,960
Speaker 2: a big decision at all, is to clean the house

31
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,440
Speaker 2: instead of spending time with your family. You made the

32
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,800
Speaker 2: decision to clean.

33
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,920
Speaker 1: Her had I couldn't relax. But then I did spend

34
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,440
Speaker 1: time with them, of course, but you know, teen year

35
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:05,000
Speaker 1: olds aren't always happy. Yeah, and that's a lot. And

36
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:10,000
Speaker 1: then to make another decision. My daughter went all out

37
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,120
Speaker 1: and did this surprise, and Bella comes home from school

38
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:17,760
Speaker 1: and she was miserable, and Brittain's like, really, Bella, really,

39
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,359
Speaker 1: and I want it so badly to put my two

40
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,480
Speaker 1: cents in there, but yeah, it's not.

41
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:26,440
Speaker 2: Okay, So you are you are reading my mind. One

42
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:30,840
Speaker 2: of the biggest decisions that I have faced. It's a

43
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:35,519
Speaker 2: it's a it's a decision category if you will, about children.

44
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,839
Speaker 2: When do we can we when should we say things

45
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:42,480
Speaker 2: to our children and our grandchildren because our children are

46
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:48,120
Speaker 2: now adults, right and we went for me deciding when

47
00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:53,239
Speaker 2: to speak up to my kids and say you're doing

48
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:53,960
Speaker 2: this wrong.

49
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:59,400
Speaker 1: I'll give you one example, tell me something you actually refrain, yes,

50
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,040
Speaker 1: and say that because you don't with anybody else that

51
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:03,680
Speaker 1: I see.

52
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:08,040
Speaker 2: Well, i'll tell you. I after talking to my kids

53
00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:14,880
Speaker 2: and realizing that I am always going to be their mother,

54
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,640
Speaker 2: I'm always going to be my children's mother, but my

55
00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:21,040
Speaker 2: role has changed. And so the way I make decisions

56
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:25,480
Speaker 2: about spending time with my kids, watching the way they live.

57
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:30,680
Speaker 2: The truth is it really takes a lot now for

58
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,760
Speaker 2: me to say you're doing that.

59
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,360
Speaker 1: Wrong or you don't say that period.

60
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:40,560
Speaker 2: Well, no, I actually do. My daughter, lets my two

61
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,120
Speaker 2: year old two and a half year old granddaughter, She

62
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,800
Speaker 2: used to let her sort of wander around eating off whatever,

63
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,960
Speaker 2: just kind of wandering around the floor eating And I

64
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,640
Speaker 2: said to her, you know, you really should have her

65
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:58,520
Speaker 2: sit in her high chair. She needs to learn that. Well,

66
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,200
Speaker 2: it's where you eat, but it's also a social time.

67
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,560
Speaker 2: It's where you interact with your family. There's more down

68
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:08,600
Speaker 2: And she kind of looked at me because I don't

69
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,440
Speaker 2: speak up very often. You know, kids have the right

70
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:16,760
Speaker 2: to raise their children. Yeah, and so for me making

71
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:21,800
Speaker 2: My big decision, if you will, was making the decision

72
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:26,960
Speaker 2: to zip it, zip my mouth and not say very

73
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:31,000
Speaker 2: much unless my kids ask me, and occasionally they do.

74
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,480
Speaker 1: My big decision do I need to purchase that? Do

75
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:36,520
Speaker 1: I really need this?

76
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,640
Speaker 2: Susan? Come on now, fess up.

77
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,799
Speaker 1: I just fascinated and that decision is always on my side.

78
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, Susan always needs it. Those are never big decisions

79
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,160
Speaker 2: for Susan. It's a matter of how fast you can

80
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:53,960
Speaker 2: click the button purchase. Okay, what about as we've gotten older,

81
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,719
Speaker 2: you and I We've made no bones about it. We've

82
00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:01,960
Speaker 2: both done some cosmetic surgery. I'm thinking about doing some more.

83
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,680
Speaker 2: But let's was that hard for you to decide to

84
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,200
Speaker 2: do it?

85
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:11,680
Speaker 1: Absolutely not me either, because it's something I want once again.

86
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,440
Speaker 2: Okay, So to me, my experience in talking to people

87
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:20,520
Speaker 2: about it is you can do cosmetic surgery for a

88
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:26,120
Speaker 2: few reasons. One could be for yourself you feel better.

89
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,080
Speaker 2: And that's our reason. I know, because you and I've

90
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,120
Speaker 2: talked about it. We do it because it makes us

91
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,440
Speaker 2: feel better. Other people do it because they want to

92
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:38,159
Speaker 2: attract a man or a partner, or they want a

93
00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:40,080
Speaker 2: job where they think they have to look old. Or

94
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,599
Speaker 2: they're afraid of getting old. For me, it wasn't a

95
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,320
Speaker 2: hard decision to do it because I knew it would

96
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,440
Speaker 2: make me feel better.

97
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,440
Speaker 1: And look, I think, and I disagree with that statement

98
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,159
Speaker 1: you made. You think some people do it to attract

99
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:59,200
Speaker 1: the man or get a job. The only reason they're

100
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,839
Speaker 1: doing it is for them to feel better about themselves.

101
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:07,599
Speaker 1: Then if they feel better, they will attract the man

102
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:08,960
Speaker 1: or get the jobs.

103
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,320
Speaker 2: You know, I'm not saying they won't feel Maybe I'm misstated.

104
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:16,040
Speaker 2: I'm not saying they won't feel better. I'm saying they

105
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,560
Speaker 2: feel pressure to do it. For you know, we have

106
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,200
Speaker 2: a culture in our in our world, in our society

107
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,320
Speaker 2: of youth. Everything has to be youth.

108
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially if you're on TV.

109
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:31,279
Speaker 2: Well in general in the workplace. You know how many

110
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:35,560
Speaker 2: old newscasters do you see women? We see older men.

111
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,200
Speaker 2: We don't see older women. We live in a youth

112
00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:43,039
Speaker 2: culture and so we're all chasing that eternal fountain of youth.

113
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,400
Speaker 1: But when you put your age down, you can't cosmetically

114
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,159
Speaker 1: change that. Your age is your age.

115
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,479
Speaker 2: Well, your age is your age. But I'm saying the

116
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:56,640
Speaker 2: way people view you. So if you if someone looks

117
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,360
Speaker 2: at you and you and I have had this conversation

118
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,599
Speaker 2: for for me decided to do that lower facelift with you.

119
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,240
Speaker 2: First of all, I hate to say it, but I thought, oh,

120
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,000
Speaker 2: this will be an adventure with Susan. It was like,

121
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,640
Speaker 2: this will be fun. I mean, I never you know,

122
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:11,840
Speaker 2: I used to make jokes about I could never have

123
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:15,320
Speaker 2: a facelift. Could you imagine if I did and I died?

124
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:15,920
Speaker 1: I said that.

125
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,320
Speaker 2: You actually said listen, But I'll tell you.

126
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,000
Speaker 1: I used to say, I can't wait.

127
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,840
Speaker 2: I used to say it, I'll tell you why because

128
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,600
Speaker 2: I thought if I die on the table, god forbid.

129
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,200
Speaker 2: Could you imagine my children, my mother, she thought she

130
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,360
Speaker 2: had to go get a facelift, and now we're burying her.

131
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,480
Speaker 2: And of course I now I'm like, oh, well that happens.

132
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:35,040
Speaker 2: It happens.

133
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:40,160
Speaker 1: But for me, I think it impacts people's self esteem.

134
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,800
Speaker 2: I can't speak for anyone but me. I feel better

135
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,800
Speaker 2: when i'm fit, I feel better when I have makeup on,

136
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,760
Speaker 2: I feel better when I look my best. So for me,

137
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:56,320
Speaker 2: I think you and I were being honest. We are all.

138
00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:03,080
Speaker 2: I have bought in to the youth society to a degree.

139
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:06,080
Speaker 2: I don't just still looks I do it with health,

140
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,760
Speaker 2: eating right, working out, all those things.

141
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,800
Speaker 1: Eating might'll never be in my vocabulary, but I eat

142
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,480
Speaker 1: good and bad. But like, for instance, when we went Kathy,

143
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,680
Speaker 1: I thought, okay, it's time I gotta do this. And

144
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,520
Speaker 1: it's just the minor one that what do they call it?

145
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:22,200
Speaker 1: A lifestyle?

146
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,280
Speaker 2: A lower just the lower.

147
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:28,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not that invasive, but I mean it's still surgery.

148
00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:35,040
Speaker 1: But I never realized when I watched one of the

149
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:39,680
Speaker 1: Bachelor episodes from before and then I saw myself on

150
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,400
Speaker 1: got to get out. When I saw my face, I go, oh,

151
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,000
Speaker 1: my gosh, thank god I did that.

152
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,160
Speaker 2: Listen, it could have been worse. When I was on Paradise.

153
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,200
Speaker 2: I could have worn a bikini and then everyone would

154
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,160
Speaker 2: have said she needs to cut all her skin tied

155
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,600
Speaker 2: up over her head like a knot like a panteos

156
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:57,080
Speaker 2: and cut them.

157
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,920
Speaker 1: But no, Seriously, after our surgery, did you feel like,

158
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,199
Speaker 1: oh I look amazing.

159
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:02,160
Speaker 2: I didn't. I didn't.

160
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,360
Speaker 1: It was a slight thing. But when after seeing myself,

161
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,880
Speaker 1: I go, oh, it was more than it looks way back.

162
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,200
Speaker 2: Well, you and I I think we can round this

163
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,320
Speaker 2: conversation up by you and I do it because it

164
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:20,440
Speaker 2: makes us feel better. I want to ask you because

165
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,520
Speaker 2: I don't have this in my life, and I've always

166
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:26,360
Speaker 2: wanted to ask you this. Today's the day, boy, So

167
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,920
Speaker 2: my husband died. There was no decision for me to

168
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:37,880
Speaker 2: make people our age. Even even now, people are still

169
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:42,840
Speaker 2: making the choice to get divorced at any age thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy.

170
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,640
Speaker 2: I want to know, if you're comfortable talking about it,

171
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:51,000
Speaker 2: how did you make that tough decision to get divorced?

172
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:55,920
Speaker 2: And let me before you answer any decision you make

173
00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:00,679
Speaker 2: my husband's suicide. It didn't just affect me. It's a effect, right.

174
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,880
Speaker 2: It affects my children, our friendships, everything. When you divorced

175
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:10,240
Speaker 2: your husband, what did you consider? I mean, of course

176
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,720
Speaker 2: you did, but talk to me about the considerations in

177
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:13,800
Speaker 2: making that decision.

178
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:17,679
Speaker 1: So a lot of people realized that the marriage is

179
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,160
Speaker 1: not going to make it, and I did many many

180
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,160
Speaker 1: years ago. But I made the decision to hang in

181
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:30,360
Speaker 1: and pretend till my children were out of high school.

182
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:34,800
Speaker 1: I sometimes kicked myself for it. Maybe I would have found,

183
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,200
Speaker 1: you know, love of my life when I was in

184
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,880
Speaker 1: my forties, or you know whatever. But I made that

185
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:45,920
Speaker 1: decision because we weren't people that argued or fought. We

186
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:51,480
Speaker 1: both grew different ways and we're still friends today. So

187
00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:56,160
Speaker 1: to answer your question, I didn't make the decision. I

188
00:10:56,200 --> 00:11:00,800
Speaker 1: didn't follow through. I wish I had my life. Although

189
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,840
Speaker 1: I've had a good life, I don't know what it

190
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,480
Speaker 1: would have been like with three kids on my own.

191
00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:09,120
Speaker 2: Well, so you thought it sounds like you're saying you

192
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,160
Speaker 2: made the decision to stay because you thought it was

193
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:15,000
Speaker 2: in the best interest of your children. Absolutely, and so

194
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,920
Speaker 2: that was your decision making process.

195
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:21,000
Speaker 1: When my boys when we finally did actually separate, we

196
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,440
Speaker 1: weren't even divorced yet, and my boys came up to

197
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,400
Speaker 1: me and said, Mom, why did you wait so long?

198
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:29,840
Speaker 1: We knew you've been unhappy for a long, many many years.

199
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,400
Speaker 1: And I go, what because of you? Guys?

200
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:32,840
Speaker 2: I mean?

201
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,320
Speaker 1: And they go, Mom, you didn't have to do that.

202
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:39,920
Speaker 1: Like it's funny how your kids don't even you. Don't

203
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,439
Speaker 1: you think you know what's going through their heads but

204
00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:45,280
Speaker 1: we don't.

205
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I totally agree with that. Did you get

206
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,680
Speaker 2: any therapy before or after the divorce?

207
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:58,160
Speaker 1: Not before after? Yes, I've gone to therapy a couple

208
00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:03,960
Speaker 1: different times for a while in my life. What I

209
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,760
Speaker 1: found with therapy and that's that. We could do a

210
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,439
Speaker 1: whole podcast on that one, Kathy. But I was answering

211
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:14,800
Speaker 1: my own questions, like, you know, I know what to do.

212
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,760
Speaker 1: It's getting me to stop being stuck on stupid and

213
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,840
Speaker 1: not making the same decision over and over again and

214
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,560
Speaker 1: expecting a different outcome.

215
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:27,760
Speaker 2: Right, Well, I think, I mean, I again, I'm not divorced,

216
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,920
Speaker 2: so but I feel like divorce again is one of

217
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:34,040
Speaker 2: those ripple effect things. And I wondered, I mean, I

218
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:38,920
Speaker 2: had to go through a lot of therapy.

219
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,280
Speaker 1: Because well, you didn't get a divorce.

220
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,800
Speaker 2: No, but when my husband took his life and I

221
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,960
Speaker 2: found him, I need a little bit of therapy there.

222
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,160
Speaker 2: But I feel like today, I don't know if it's

223
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:50,480
Speaker 2: just our age that the some of the stressors that

224
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,840
Speaker 2: we have in our life. We look at the issues

225
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:58,040
Speaker 2: our children have, our grandchildren, and you know, I just wondered, like, so,

226
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:01,480
Speaker 2: you didn't do any therapy your divorced. Do you think

227
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,960
Speaker 2: it's because so common now?

228
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,760
Speaker 1: No, because I don't hold things in. I talk about things.

229
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:12,880
Speaker 1: I think that for me personally, the best people that

230
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,960
Speaker 1: need therapy are the ones that hold everything in and

231
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,880
Speaker 1: they don't talk about their issues. That's why you need

232
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,440
Speaker 1: a therapist to get it out.

233
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,679
Speaker 2: For me to help? What about to help make different decisions?

234
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,880
Speaker 1: It didn't work. I still make.

235
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,600
Speaker 2: Okay like I have and Kathy.

236
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,719
Speaker 1: How what is it like to break up a relationship

237
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,760
Speaker 1: or end of connection when no one does anything wrong?

238
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:39,679
Speaker 1: There's not like.

239
00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:45,160
Speaker 2: A you you got divorced. You stayed with them and

240
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,640
Speaker 2: then one day you decided because I.

241
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:48,840
Speaker 1: Knew it wasn't right.

242
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,600
Speaker 2: And how did you know?

243
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:55,600
Speaker 1: Relationship? I know what makes me tick, I know what

244
00:13:55,720 --> 00:14:00,959
Speaker 1: makes me happy. I've always been a giver, and you

245
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:06,840
Speaker 1: hit a point where you realize I'm not that happy?

246
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,720
Speaker 1: What am I doing? Why am I here?

247
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,760
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean I can't. For me, I didn't have that.

248
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,720
Speaker 2: I mean it sounds to me that you stayed married

249
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,560
Speaker 2: because you thought you were doing your kids a favor,

250
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:24,080
Speaker 2: which I think most people who divorce after the kids go.

251
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,080
Speaker 2: Most people say they wish they had divorced earlier, and

252
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,200
Speaker 2: so I think.

253
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:33,560
Speaker 1: Not the norm, like our house wasn't. I hear a

254
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,160
Speaker 1: lot of people, like ex husbands are going to bring

255
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,800
Speaker 1: their new wife or girlfriend to their child's wedding, and

256
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,280
Speaker 1: I won't go because of this. I can't go without

257
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:46,040
Speaker 1: a man like they're bitter, they don't speak highly of

258
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,200
Speaker 1: each other. I mean, I get it, some of divorces

259
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:54,280
Speaker 1: are because of really terrible reasons. But don't you graduate

260
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,880
Speaker 1: from that and forgive like you had a life together,

261
00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,200
Speaker 1: you had children together.

262
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,480
Speaker 2: I don't know, I can't some kind of respect. I

263
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,800
Speaker 2: don't know, because obviously I've not been in this situation.

264
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:09,960
Speaker 2: I think sometimes the hurt and the disappointment runs so

265
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:15,000
Speaker 2: deep that you forgive, though I don't know, because I'm not.

266
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,520
Speaker 1: Imagine somebody doing you really wrong as.

267
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,600
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sorry, someone does me wrong, Susan gets your baseball,

268
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:25,080
Speaker 2: beat it and take care of me, help me, I think.

269
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,200
Speaker 2: I mean, it's always I think the hurt.

270
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,680
Speaker 1: Will always be there, but you have to be civil,

271
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:34,800
Speaker 1: especially if you have children. I don't understand divorce couples

272
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,600
Speaker 1: with families that can't get along and can't be in

273
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,280
Speaker 1: the same room at the same time.

274
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:44,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I I again, my parents were

275
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,840
Speaker 2: divorced and it was the Maybe maybe that's why I'm

276
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,480
Speaker 2: the way I am. Maybe that's why I work so

277
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,560
Speaker 2: hard to make my marriage work. My parents. For all

278
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,160
Speaker 2: you people have watched the movie War of the Roses,

279
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,200
Speaker 2: my parents.

280
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,720
Speaker 1: Could they be in the same room together after.

281
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,720
Speaker 2: Could have? My mother was absolutely a lunatic and could not.

282
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,000
Speaker 2: And by the way, when I say my mother, I

283
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 2: mean my real mother, because as you know, my stepmother

284
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,440
Speaker 2: is who I consider who I considered my mother, and

285
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:16,760
Speaker 2: she was lovely. But I think that I don't know.

286
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:22,400
Speaker 2: I think that everyone today faces tough decisions. People change

287
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:26,600
Speaker 2: jobs more often now, I mean our fathers. My father

288
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:30,000
Speaker 2: changed jobs I think twice or maybe three times in

289
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:34,240
Speaker 2: his entire career. A lot of people just now, people

290
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,800
Speaker 2: are just constantly moving.

291
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,560
Speaker 1: Do you think it's because of getting laid off or

292
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,240
Speaker 1: I live.

293
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,280
Speaker 2: I think it's all of the above. I think, you

294
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:47,560
Speaker 2: know AI tech, that there's so many career opportunities now

295
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,560
Speaker 2: that did not exist when when we were coming up.

296
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,760
Speaker 2: And I think that people have to be more fluent

297
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,680
Speaker 2: in their careers. Some careers are drying up because AI

298
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,720
Speaker 2: will take over those jobs that they had so.

299
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,800
Speaker 1: Got You can't get a human on the phone, no

300
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,119
Speaker 1: matter what company you're calling. It takes twelve minutes. I

301
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,320
Speaker 1: time them, yeah, and they I mean listen.

302
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:12,440
Speaker 2: But imagine having a family. I grew up in the

303
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:17,199
Speaker 2: same house. Imagine having a family talk about a stressor

304
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,640
Speaker 2: talk about a big decision. You know, I look at

305
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 2: my kids. My son changed jobs recently. You know, he

306
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,080
Speaker 2: went through a divorce. He is now married to the

307
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:33,320
Speaker 2: most fabulous woman, but he had a career change. My daughter,

308
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:38,080
Speaker 2: her husband, they're they're always talking about living here, living there.

309
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,080
Speaker 2: You know, she loves her job. Where should we live?

310
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:45,280
Speaker 2: How important is family? I think kids today, and when

311
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:49,760
Speaker 2: I say kids, I mean adults. Young adults face pressures that.

312
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:53,560
Speaker 2: Maybe that's why I started this podcast saying our decisions

313
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:58,440
Speaker 2: aren't as difficult. I think our children face a much

314
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 2: more uncertain future because so many things are changing because careers.

315
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,479
Speaker 1: But you've got to understand that they're growing up with

316
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 1: these changes too much more than we did like and

317
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:19,320
Speaker 1: they will see big changes, big like we thought were big. However,

318
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 1: for them it just kind of rolls.

319
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,000
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. I don't know about that. I

320
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 2: think I think, uh, it's trying, It's I can only

321
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,960
Speaker 2: speak about the young people I know, and I talk

322
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 2: to them a lot, about my daughter's friends. They're they're

323
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:39,120
Speaker 2: trying to figure out next steps. Given where the jobs are,

324
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,880
Speaker 2: that where the job markets are. You know, who's laying

325
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,359
Speaker 2: off where is the next place to get into? You know,

326
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 2: for a while it was it was tech, it was cybersecurity.

327
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:53,040
Speaker 2: Now it's a it's constantly evol depends, and I think

328
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,439
Speaker 2: that is stretchful. What would you say, you know you

329
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,879
Speaker 2: have older well, actually I have one older grandchild than you.

330
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:03,520
Speaker 2: What do you say to your teenage grandchildren if they

331
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 2: ask you about you did not go to college? I did.

332
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 2: What would you say to your grandchildren.

333
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:10,960
Speaker 1: I went to a trade school?

334
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 2: Though, No, no, no, I'm what you say to them about.

335
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,480
Speaker 1: I always talk about college and what is it you

336
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,159
Speaker 1: might want to do. And the first thing out of

337
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,240
Speaker 1: Julian's mouth was, man, I can't wait. I'm going to

338
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 1: I'm leaving. I'm going to go to college. Really you

339
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,800
Speaker 1: think it's a party. Well, a lot of the grades

340
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,720
Speaker 1: you have right now, son, you might not get in.

341
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,679
Speaker 2: So let me tell you. You know, I was an

342
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,480
Speaker 2: educational consultant at my own business for thirty five years.

343
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 2: I've spent a lot of time talking to teenagers about

344
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:40,920
Speaker 2: career paths.

345
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,879
Speaker 1: I just try to figure out what it is that

346
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:47,640
Speaker 1: they like. Well, I would highly recommend doing something you

347
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 1: enjoy that you're interested in.

348
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:53,719
Speaker 2: Right, But here's the deal. The ideal situation is to

349
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 2: find a job that you love, because then going to

350
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 2: work isn't going to work. It's a joy. But not

351
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:05,359
Speaker 2: everyone has that luxury. I think college courses are going

352
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:09,200
Speaker 2: to look different. I think that the way you get

353
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,920
Speaker 2: jobs are going to look different. Just the way people

354
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,119
Speaker 2: find partners today. You know, they don't meet them at

355
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:18,800
Speaker 2: bars as much, it's online. I think career paths. What

356
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,159
Speaker 2: I always say to kids is try to find something

357
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:26,480
Speaker 2: you love. But I also think, thankfully I'm retired, but

358
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 2: still some people call me and say, you know, my kids,

359
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 2: they just don't know what they're doing. They're not sure

360
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,199
Speaker 2: what to major, and they're not sure to go.

361
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 1: That's a lot of pressure when when they're on decide,

362
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,119
Speaker 1: they don't know what they want to do.

363
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 2: You know what, I really think the big decisions that

364
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:52,320
Speaker 2: kids have to make are being foisted upon them way

365
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 2: too early in life. I think that in today's world

366
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 2: we need to give grace to teenage. The world is

367
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 2: evolving at a much quicker pace than it did for us,

368
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 2: and kids need a little bit more time as young

369
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 2: adults to figure out their power.

370
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 1: What the stage are you talking like high school? You

371
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 1: don't start talking in high school.

372
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,360
Speaker 2: No, no, no, you talk.

373
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 1: You might want to do so you can study for

374
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 1: it and you go to it. I don't think you

375
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,160
Speaker 1: know college. I don't think so you just take your

376
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 1: core subject.

377
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 2: I believe in varied experiences. I think. I'm not saying,

378
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 2: you know, every summer send them to Europe on a vacation.

379
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that. I think that kids. I think.

380
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 2: Let me back up, I think adults have the best

381
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:51,119
Speaker 2: chance of making good decisions if as children and teenagers,

382
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 2: they're given the opportunity to think problems through, assess situations

383
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 2: and try to make a good decison.

384
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 1: For the most teenagers, that's where it is our.

385
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 2: Job to happen. That's where it's our job to help them.

386
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 2: And and you know what, there's the share it with you. Well,

387
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 2: that's true. There's very few big decisions in life that

388
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 2: are not irreversible. That is my belief, you know. And

389
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 2: so I think fear stops a lot of people from

390
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,159
Speaker 2: making big decisions, whether I mean we started out with

391
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 2: cosmetic surgery and then moved on to divorce, job changes.

392
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 2: I think that it's okay to say I made a mistake.

393
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 2: I learned from it. I'm going to pivot from here

394
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 2: and I'm going to do something different. And I think

395
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 2: the sooner kids realize, kids, young adults realize it's okay,

396
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,639
Speaker 2: you're We're not looking for a perfection here. And I

397
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 2: think that's why there's so much stress among young people today.

398
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 2: They feel like you just said, let's talk in high school.

399
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 2: Figure your trade square No, no, no, what is its experience?

400
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: I can prove your right because so many people that

401
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 1: would assist me in cosmetology, okay, in the salon, you

402
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: couldn't get your own chair until you worked under somebody

403
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,439
Speaker 1: for two years. And I would watch them and listen

404
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,879
Speaker 1: to them and teach them, and you know how many

405
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,640
Speaker 1: picked the wrong thing after their parents paid. And it's

406
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:26,159
Speaker 1: not cheap to do that either. But they go, I

407
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,399
Speaker 1: don't want to do this right, but I don't you

408
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,679
Speaker 1: know why this that what made you want to in

409
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 1: the first place, though, Try to get out of them.

410
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,920
Speaker 1: And she's a dental hygienist or assistant now or something.

411
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 1: And other people come to us from doing corporate world

412
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 1: jobs and say, oh my gosh, I cannot take the

413
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: corporate world. I am too free. If you will freelance

414
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: kind of person in my world. That's how we were

415
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 1: so that world fit better and you're more successful because

416
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 1: you get to be who you are, right, And that's

417
00:23:58,960 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 1: a good point.

418
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 2: Kathy, Yeah, well, and I do think you know, as parents,

419
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 2: that's something I hope to instill in my grandchildren. Again,

420
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 2: big decisions now look different. I talk to my granddaughter

421
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,400
Speaker 2: all the time about reading and how, just for an example,

422
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 2: how reading takes you into your imagination. You go to

423
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 2: visit places you might never see, but reading opens up

424
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 2: world to you. Can you tell I was an educator.

425
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 2: Reading opens up worlds to you that you might never

426
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 2: see otherwise. And I feel like if we as kids can, sorry,

427
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 2: if we as parents and grandparents can offer experiences and

428
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 2: teach our kids that big decisions are not always made

429
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:43,879
Speaker 2: the first time around.

430
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 1: You're right, You're right. Sometimes it takes you a couple

431
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: of times. You see me put my finger on my nose,

432
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 1: cat because I didn't want to interrupt. I don't know

433
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 1: about you guys out there listening, but has anyone ever

434
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,920
Speaker 1: told you, you know, when you're speaking or somebody you're

435
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 1: having a conversation like Kathy and I are, and you

436
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 1: don't wanted to interrupt and a thought comes in your head.

437
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 1: How many of us just blurred it out and interrupt

438
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 1: But I always had a reason for that, because I

439
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,439
Speaker 1: would forget what I was going to say.

440
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,680
Speaker 2: Well, one, I guess it was.

441
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 1: About the year and a half, two years ago, maybe longer.

442
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 1: Somebody said to me, Susan, when you have that thought,

443
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: put your finger on the tip of your nose. So

444
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 1: I'm walking around my finger.

445
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 2: Nine times a what's thought?

446
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: Now I'm going to forget because I just explained it.

447
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 2: I know that's case.

448
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:43,200
Speaker 1: If one of your children, older children, married children, decided

449
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 1: that they're thinking about ending their marriage and they came

450
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: to you for advice.

451
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 2: My son did what's your question?

452
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,119
Speaker 1: I don't think you were crazy about that first wife,

453
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 1: that's a no brainer. But what kind of conversation and

454
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: what help? How did you help him make decision? Not

455
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 1: that you would be the deciding factor.

456
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:09,640
Speaker 2: But well, uh, you're right. Actually, when Kyle got divorced,

457
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 2: he came to me and said it was a feedacomplete.

458
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,120
Speaker 2: He had decided to get divorced, And you're right.

459
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,200
Speaker 1: And he was just telling you or was he asking

460
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 1: your own?

461
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:22,199
Speaker 2: He? But we had talked about marriage. I've talked to

462
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 2: my kids about marriage before they got married. I talked

463
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 2: to my daughter a lot now about the mistakes I

464
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 2: made and now you're gonna make me cry. I talk

465
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 2: about the mistakes I made in my marriage that I

466
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 2: can't fix because he's gone. And I talked to her

467
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 2: about again. You know, the biggest decision that I when

468
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,680
Speaker 2: I'm talking to my kids, the biggest decision I say

469
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 2: to them is think about is this really that important?

470
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 2: So that's what I say to them. I try to

471
00:26:56,840 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 2: guide them to think not. I me back up. I

472
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,159
Speaker 2: don't tell them what to do anymore. I try not to.

473
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,359
Speaker 2: I try to give them in.

474
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,399
Speaker 1: Your head, do you feel a certain way? Like if

475
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: you felt a certain way, would you let it be known?

476
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,679
Speaker 2: Like I don't know. What I don't. What I try

477
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 2: to do is say I'm making it up. I'll just

478
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 2: use my daughter, Caitlin, who has a fabulous husband and

479
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 2: I love him and they're happy. But he's he's better

480
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 2: than a good guy.

481
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 1: He's But even if we love somebody that I might

482
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 1: struggle with something, and so.

483
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 2: I would I would tell my daughter to help her

484
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 2: make that decision. Ultimately it's her decision, but I would

485
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 2: try to hold up a mirror to her of what

486
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 2: she's saying. What I'm hearing her say? What? What are

487
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:46,360
Speaker 2: the issues? In other words, I would try to get

488
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 2: her to talk about it if that were the case.

489
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,680
Speaker 1: There I go again. Sorry, I just put my finger

490
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 1: on my nose. That was a very very good point.

491
00:27:55,000 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 1: Again in a different world, when I just love, what

492
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: did you just say?

493
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, trying to talk to my daughter about

494
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,120
Speaker 2: asking her questions as opposed to telling her what to do.

495
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 1: And I remember going to my dad and crying, saying, Dad,

496
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 1: I'm not happy. I am not happy. And he would

497
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 1: give me no advice one way or the other, because

498
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 1: you know, he loved VICKI and my kids and me,

499
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:28,199
Speaker 1: And he said, Susan, is the grass greener on the

500
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 1: other side? Are you going through something like to make

501
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 1: me think? Like you just said, you held a mirror

502
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: to her. And that's when I put my finger on

503
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 1: my nose. Because my clients, if you were my guests,

504
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: that would come to me and tell me what they

505
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 1: want with their hair, okay, right, and I would repeat

506
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 1: it back to them and they go, no, that's not

507
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 1: what I mean. I said, Well, that's what I heard.

508
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 1: So you're right on the money by making her listen

509
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 1: into herself right.

510
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 2: And I think in the end, we all have big

511
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 2: decisions to make in life. We all do, and I

512
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 2: think we all have to accept sometimes we make the

513
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 2: right one. Sometimes we make the wrong decision, and sometimes

514
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 2: we don't know. We make a decision and we hope

515
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 2: for the best and we take the path that we

516
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 2: think will lead us to where we want to go.

517
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 2: But you know what, sometimes you have to pivot. Sometimes

518
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 2: you make the wrong choice, and that's okay. The biggest

519
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 2: thing is picking up the pieces, moving on and making

520
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 2: the next best choice you can.

521
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I do, make the wrong decision,

522
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 1: always wearing the cool ass shoes that.

523
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 2: Hurt all night long. Wait, I love you. We're having

524
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 2: this serious podcast about and Susans. Susan's talking about should

525
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 2: she part her hair on the left or the right?

526
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, you notice I went the other way to that, Kathy.

527
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 2: I mean when it comes down shoes, I mean shoes,

528
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 2: hair and makeup. Is there really any other conversation and facelifts?

529
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,520
Speaker 1: And if they always wanted to get a tell me

530
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: tuck and he won't give me one?

531
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you don't, I said, Well, it's Biga go

532
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 2: stop eating, and that is the big decisionssan stop. Look,

533
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 2: this has been too much fun, but that's going to

534
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 2: do it for this episode of Bachelors Hours Golden Hour.

535
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: And please let us know what you think about this

536
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 1: talk today. I'm sure people have their opinions and decisions

537
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 1: that they're making, and you know what. Thank you so

538
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: much all for joining us again, and make sure to

539
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 1: follow us on Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new

540
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,760
Speaker 1: episodes coming out every week and you don't want to

541
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 1: miss them.

542
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 2: That's right, And the big decision we want you to

543
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 2: make this week is to submit your questions to us.

544
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 2: All you got to do is go to bachelornation dot com,

545
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 2: slash Golden Hour, or hit us up on socialis Bachelor

546
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 2: Happy Hour.

547
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 1: Absolutely listen